You don’t have to do it all alone | DFS 292

Welcome to destined for success. I'm your

host Jennifer Takagi. And today I want to talk about, you don't

have to do it all alone. When I was a child, we were raised to

be very independent. I'm the youngest of four. So I heard

recently, by the time you get to those ladder, kids, you're just

kind of over it, they'll just kind of raise themselves. I

didn't really have that experience too much, maybe a

little bit. But my mom saw a commercial the Mormons Jesus,

Christ of Latter Day Saints, used to do these long like

infomercials. And it was, how to have a better life, how to have

a better family, how to interact more effectively. And they were

long. Now as a kid, it probably seemed like it was 10 or 15

minutes, and it was probably three. But they had these nice

infomercials, I don't think they were called that back then. But

infomercials. And this infomercial, that my mom saw my

brother was the oldest, and he was little. And this infomercial

was about give your children the greatest gift of all. And that

is the gift of independence. Give your child the opportunity

to make decisions that are age appropriate. Age appropriate so

that the consequences are age appropriate. Now this like

covers all kinds of gamuts of life, right? This could be in

the workplace, this could be at home, this could be with little

kids, older kids, whatever. As a parent, you don't want to make

every single decision for your child until it reaches the point

that they're 16 1718 years old. And the consequences have dire

ramifications. They could go to prison, they could kill

somebody, they could kill themselves in a car wreck. I

mean, like any number of horrible things can happen. So

give your kids the opportunity to make decisions where they

have to live with the consequences, but they're not

dire consequences. So the big deal for me that I remember so

much as a kid, I had a little girlfriend spend the night on

Friday night, and we stayed up too late. And we woke up too

early the next day. And late that afternoon, I said oh, can I

go spend the night with such and such. And my mom said, If you

do, you'll have stayed up late two nights in a row, she knew me

so well, you will have stayed up two nights in a row too late.

And you're gonna come home cranky? And when you do, I'm

gonna whip your butt and send you up to bed for a nap. And I

was like, No, I won't, I'll be really good. I'll be so good

mom, I'll be so good. And what happened, I came home and I was

cranky. And she worked my butt and sent me to bed. And that's

what happened. I had a consequence that fit the age

bracket. I could be independent enough to make the decision. But

I also had to take the consequence. So you can be

independent and take the consequence. But you don't have

to do it all alone. My mom was really good at talking through

what the ramifications would be like how this would all work

out. When you're building a business, when you're building a

life. You don't have to do it all alone. You don't have to do

it alone. Do you need a counselor? Do you need a

minister? Do you need a group of really amazing girlfriends like

I have that are gonna go play with you and you forget about

the day and you have a good time. And more importantly, you

support each other. You support each other. You don't have to do

it alone. There is a notion that if you ask for help, you must be

a failure. I've heard these stories of Oh, I did it all

myself, pull myself up by my bootstraps. I don't believe that

for a minute. We all have somebody somewhere that guides

us, that inspires us that we look up to you. It may be

somebody we've never actually met. It might be somebody you

know, a celebrity that we've looked up to but there's been

somebody else who's helped pave the way for us in some way. So

let go of the notion that if you ask for help, it's failure. And

how can you ask for help like in what ways can You ask for help.

If you're building your own business and you're doing it all

by yourself. Find something or someone who can help you. Is it

an app, I use the app, it's called Tassie ta SSI. And it's

get tassie.com Oh, by the way, I have an affiliate link if you

want to reach out to me, but it helps me schedule my social

media posts. Not only does that help me schedule them, it also

helps me create them because they have a bazillion graphics

in there. It also sets up the cadence of it. That is a form of

getting help. I don't have to sit down and learn how to create

all my own graphics, all my own memes. Do I create some?

Absolutely. But do I have to create them all? No. Hardcore?

No, I don't have to. I don't have to. I can do some. Is it a

person? Do you need a virtual assistant? Do you need a local

assistant? Do you need somebody to clean your house? Where do

you need help? Asking for help is not being a failure. I had a

conversation with somebody about, about people bringing

meals when somebody is sick or has surgery or has the baby. And

we were specifically talking about having a baby. I don't

have children that I wouldn't want and people to bring me

food. I'm just gonna throw that out there. And she said, Oh, no,

I planned ahead. I cooked meals, I put them in the freezer. We

were ready to go. It was fine that I had a new baby because we

had food to eat and my husband was capable of doing things too.

And that's great. But if you're surrounded by people who want to

help and be a part of your journey, I'm just telling you,

it's okay to say yes. I recently had my knee replaced. It was a

big deal. I'm telling you I have recovered so well. But I also

did everything they told me to do. I've recovered really well.

But I've had a lot of help. My husband was here for several

days, he would have stayed longer. But I called a

girlfriend who liked to sit around and watch movies with me,

which is what I was supposed to do for the first two weeks

physical therapy. Keep it elevated and iced. That's what I

was supposed to do. I was not allowed to leave the house. I

was not allowed to go to restaurants. I was supposed to

stay home and take care of the seat. And that's what I did. And

it's healed beautifully because I did what they told me to do. I

didn't need to be a hero, I needed to follow the rules. But

that first thing I did when I made the decision to have my

knee replaced, which it's been a long time coming. I called a

girlfriend of mine who has stayed with me before. And will

you come take care of me have my knee replaced? And she did. And

then I had friends call and say can I bring food? Can I come

over one Friday night for my girlfriend's showed up with food

and alcohol. And we had a little party I did not drink because I

was taking pain pills. And that's against the rules. And I

didn't want to trip and fall with my mom with my new knee. I

did get a tick tock. There are videos about what all happened

in the first week after having my knee replaced. And I'm fine

and nothing hurt me. But it was kind of comical all the way

around. But I wanted to help I needed the help. I was grateful

for the help. One friend said, Let's go to lunch, I'll take you

and I said well, I can go on this day if you can drop me off

at physical therapy afterwards, because I still wasn't driving

yet. And she goes, Do you want me to stay at therapy and bring

you home too? I could have said no. But I said yes. We went to

lunch, we went to physical therapy. And she came back in

the room with me. We had a little party. And then she

brought me home and I ice my knee because that's what it

needed. So you have to let go of that notion that asking for help

means you're a failure or less than, or you can't do it all on

your own. We're not meant to do everything on our own. We thrive

with good people around us. Oh wait, did you catch that good

people, we thrive with good people around us people who will

support us. And that's what we need. You need to be able to

reach out. Now you know that one person that if you reached out,

they would ridicule you and it would be ugly and it wouldn't be

good and they wouldn't help you anyway, blah, blah, blah. I'm

not talking about that person.

I'm talking about the amazing people you know who will support

you who will help you. Sometimes it's people online that you only

know through the internet. That's fine doesn't matter. I

built some really tight relationships with people online

and then when we had a conference and we met in person

I was thrilled to the end of the A world that we actually met in

person. So reach out. Do you need a medical doctor do that?

Do you need an energy healer like me? Reach out to me? Do you

need to get involved in a group of people who are like minded?

Look for meetups, go on Eventbrite. See if there's

something going on in your community. It's okay to ask for

help. You don't have to do it all alone. If you're ready to

start crafting out the life of your dreams, go to 12 minute

gift.com get my free gift. It's a free thing. Get that and start

mapping out the life of your dreams. I'm Jennifer Takagi and

I look forward to connecting with you soon