What to Do When You Feel Like Nothing's Working Out

None of this stuff was handed to me, not my

coaching methodology. No one taught me the expanded love

method. I didn't study in a book of course. I took many courses

over the years that shaped and and supported me to become the

woman I had to become to birth this work in the world. But

nobody gave it to me, right? I wasn't studying fantasy love and

La, la, la, like, this is my soul's mission. This is my

soul's expression. And your soul has one too. We all do. And

until you like really come home to yourself, into your heart,

you will not experience your mission in this planet, in this

lifetime. And it doesn't have to be connected to what you do for

a living. But I believe that we can build a life that lights us

up from the inside out, and that's the only answer. Hello,

beautiful, hello. Yasu Avas, moo, oh, a beautiful butterfly

just flew by. I might sound different. I don't know what the

microphone maybe the microphone will help, but I I lost my voice

a little bit

at the immersion. I we just finished the immersion

yesterday, and I'm sitting here in my beautiful hotel room at my

favorite little boutique hotel down the street from the cortia

state, where we do the immersion in Corfu if you are new here,

the immersion is a inexplainable, magical, deep

dive of a week where we crack everyone's hearts wide open and

unlock repressed emotions and repressed old beliefs, and we

love each other back to wholeness. It's a really

profound that's like the most recent way I could describe it

based on the week we just had, but there's a lot of emotional

expressing, and I'm guiding the way so my voice. I don't know if

I've ever lost my voice before. Immersion, sisters, if you're

listening to this immersion, Sisters of the past, if you're

listening to this episode and I lost my voice at your immersion,

let me know, because I can't remember that I've ever lost my

voice before. But it was such a sad thing, because we sing a

lot, and this particular group loved to sing, and we were like,

laying on this bed, on the floor, singing. This might sound

weird because it's out of context for you, but

we not bed. It was like we made this this little nest, and we

were all singing. And on the I think it was this last no

second, second to last night, and we were singing the best

songs, and I sounded like I was so tone deaf. And those of you

who listened to the podcast for a long time or know me well, you

know I love to sing. Singing is one of my favorite healing

things to do. I think it's one of the most beautifully healing

things we can do when we're feeling anxious, when you're

feeling stuck, when you're feeling tired. Like singing is

the best right now, I could really use a song, because it's

because I'm obviously, you know, feeling energetically tired from

that big expanse of emotional week and so but it actually kind

of feels cool to come on here and share this energy with you,

because the immersion is so inexplainable. But I wish every

woman on planet Earth to have this experience. I could cry

right now just thinking of all of these women I've been working

with, most of them privately for a year or for six months or for

three months, and they're all together right now on a Greek

island, in their magic, in their joy, with their hearts open,

like experiencing the world through a completely new lens,

and it's the most beautiful thing. And every year, everyone

makes fun of me on the team, because I'm always like, oh my

god, this is my favorite group ever. Actually didn't say this

that this time, because it keeps being reflected back to me. So

I'm just saying because, of course, every woman who's ever

been you're my favorite group. I love everyone. And I think the

reason why I feel such deep love at the immersion is because when

I first meet women, I see their souls. That's one of my gifts,

as I see people's souls, and the immersion is the place where

they come back home to their soul. And of course, it's not

like a magic pill. You have to go home and keep cultivating and

keep keep stoking the fire of who you are, but it is like you

can't not fall in love with a woman's soul when she's home and

her heart and her the truth of who she is. When a woman's in

pure alignment, I'd say when a human's in pure alignment, it's

like the most beautiful thing in the world. So we all fall in

love with each other, and,

yeah, it's just so freaking special. And I always stay close

and connected to every woman who's ever been to the immersion

I have, I have my finger on the pulse. I have, you know,

connections with them, because it's such a deep, deeply bonding

experience, and it really just feels like homecoming and like

we're all walking each other back home, and I'm, I'm always

having my own immersion on the other side of it. So, so is that

the whole team? Yeah.

So it was a really beautiful week, but that's why my voice is

raspy, and, yeah, I'm just basking in the feeling of like

we would all be so in love with everyone in the world if we were

living from the truth of who we are. That's the wild thing is

that most people live in such blame and hatred and

disconnection. And, you know, dis, what's the word oppose?

Like everyone's opposing each other, you know, like, I'm, you

know, I am a Republican, I'm a Democrat. You're this, you're

that. I'm a I'm a woman, you're a man. I'm a, you know, I'm old,

you're young. We're constantly separating ourselves, and we

live in this really divisive or even brainwashed to live in this

really divisive place that keeps us at war with ourselves and

each other. Because if we're divided from each other, we're

also divided from ourselves, you cannot be connected to your

truest nature, your heart, your essence and your soul when you

are in animosity, when you're when you're fighting other

people, when you're in disconnection, when you're

making everyone around you wrong and you're making yourself

right. Are you making everyone around you right and you're

making you wrong? It's just not possible. And to be living from

the truth of who you are, and to feel that that is the

brainwashing, that's the program that has been inserted in all of

our brains, like the microchip that was implanted when we were

really young, and that we've been conditioned and programmed

into over and over and over again. And then you come to

something like the immersion, and you realize where all this,

like all the patterns are the same. Every woman sits around

and shares her story, okay, the stories are slightly different.

The wounding might be slightly different, but the limiting

beliefs they feel underneath as a result of their painful life

experiences that brainwash them into becoming something other

than who they are. At the core, every woman is so unique and so

beautiful, like I think of this last group and the group before,

and they get, like, this whole immersion, I was all the women

that were there the year before were in my heart, and the year

before and the year before, like, we've been doing the

Immersion at the Corti of state and Corfu since 2021 this was my

11th immersion. Been doing it since, for the last 10 years.

And every like, every woman who's ever walked Corti, I was

like, up there's Vivian in the in the giant chessboard down

there, like, this is a 10 acre property, so we're like, taking

photos all over the property and using every corner of the space.

And I'm seeing, I'm Camille in that corner, and I'm seeing

Samara in that corner, and I'm seeing Jackie Jade in that

corner, and there, I'm just feeling the frequency of all the

heroines who've ever walked this land and who've ever taken this

journey. And then, of course, if you're listening and you came

and to Mykonos, or you came to Bologna, to the very first

immersion, like you're all with me in my heart, and I see I have

so many moments. I was showing pictures to these women, of the

women who came to the immersion in Mykonos in 2018 and I was

sharing, sharing all the images in the property, in the place

where we used to do it, and what it used to be like. And it's

just this beautiful community of women who are rising together,

heroin rising. We're rising together. We are so expanded.

We're expanding our hearts, expanding our lives. And I feel

like I'm I'm just leading the way. And of course, there's

people who've led me who continue to lead me in terms of

inspire me and spark me to believe more as possible. But

I just, this isn't necessarily all as always. I'm just, I'm

just rambling right now, just talking whatever's coming

through but, but I was, I was just feeling sure it's so

connected to this episode, because just feeling like, you

know, often women work with me and they're like, Oh, well,

Kate, okay, of course it's possible for you to do all these

things, but it's not possible for me to have a wildly

expressed life, to live anywhere in the world, to do this, that

and the other. And it wasn't possible for me either, like I

had to. It's not like someone gave me the life that I have

quite the opposite. My family when I was growing up didn't

travel at all. We drove to Disneyland when I was 13. That's

the only trip we ever went on that wasn't like within British

Columbia. We never flew anywhere. We never traveled. And

it was not my life which is interesting, because I've opened

up my life now. My parents come to Greece every year. My parents

came to Kenya this year, like they're traveling so much more.

They did start traveling in the last 10 years before I moved

away, but they're traveling so much more and experiencing so

much more of the world because of me, because I followed my

heart. And so whenever I hear a woman say that if you're

listening and you feel inspired by the life that I have, and you

might not want one like mine, but even just the possibility of

having a life where you can go your own way and you can follow

your own heart, and you can march to the beat of your own

drama that you don't have to do what everyone else is doing, and

if you think you're supposed to do what everyone else is doing,

that's the problem, that that is like the self fulfilling

prophecy of nothing ever feeling like enough. And then

underneath.

That is you never feeling like enough like that's what the

scripted life, where it leads us to. And this is so possible for

everyone, but you have to come home to your heart first, and

you have to be willing and have courage. So I just celebrate

every woman that I've ever worked with, or every woman you

know who's listening in the world who's ever had the courage

to follow her heart? But I know, you know, when women work with

me, it's, it's, it's a big step, because they know it's going to

be a they know it's going to be a big deal. They know that that

I'm going to be walking beside them in their life for, like, a

year.

And we're going to get real intimate. We're going to, we're

going to, you know, awaken things, parts of themselves

they've never even knew were there. And that's vulnerable and

scary to the mind, right? That's scary to the saboteur. So it

takes so much courage to invest in yourself, to show up for

yourself, to go your own way, to do things that are off the

beaten path, and yet it's the most fulfilling thing in the

world, because when you have the courage to follow your own

heart. Life is you're curating a life that's designed for you.

When we follow the script, you think it's designed for you, and

let me tell you, those sneaky saboteurs will fight for it

tooth and nail and saying, Okay, this is what I want my life to

look like. I've already decided what it's going to be, kind of

partner I want, kind of house I want, what kind of house I want,

kind of family I want, what kind of this, what kind of that? And

if you've already pre decided your life, you are missing the

life that your soul came here to live and so and yet, not to

negate anything you've done so far, like it's all part of it,

right? If you became a lawyer, and you worked really hard, and

you studied law for 10 years, and you finally became a lawyer,

and you did all your hours, and then one day to wake up and be

like, What the fuck I hate this job. This is not my soul's

calling. I feel miserable, and I don't like the people I work

with. And this is obviously not to put down lawyers. I'm

actually kind of talking about my cousin right now. I have a

cousin who, you know, worked so hard to become a lawyer, and

then she tried many different types of law, and literally, it

like, hurt her soul so bad that she couldn't do it. And I'm so

proud of her. Now she has her own business doing something she

loves that's like, benefits her whole family, and it's been so

beautiful to witness because, and she's not even on a path

like this, like, I don't think, I mean, not that I know of,

unless she secretly is, but she she couldn't go against her

compass, like it just wasn't possible. So it's absolutely

possible for you and every single one of us to have a life

that's so expanded, like my life, and I forget, because I'm

just present in it. I'm not like, Oh, I'm actually so I'm in

Corfu right now. I'm at my favorite hotel. As I said, I'm

looking out the window. I always face the window when I record a

podcast, if I can, because it's bright and I get to look out at

nature. And I'm looking out at my backyard, at my hotel. I have

a giant swimming pool, private and two, you know, lawn chairs

and a couch area

was Samara was here with me, but she's gone now. She wanted the

heroines that helps come. She is actually apprenticing with me.

We're we're developing some some cool things together. I'll share

more when we have more information. But she comes and

helps at the immersion and is just an absolute queen, stepping

into her power more than ever. And she started this journey

three years ago, and it's just in a whole new a whole new world

for her, it's been so beautiful. But anyway, so she just left,

and I'm in this hotel room by myself now, and it's amazing. I

have a backyard, and then the beach is right, like, five steps

away. And this, there's something about if you've been

to Greece, I think my one, okay, one of my favorite things about

Greece is the colors, the colors of the sunsets and sunrises,

there's something so unique about it. It's just like, always

this, really soft blues of all different shades, really soft

pinks. The sea is like this, like, almost like jade green,

like sea like, just really clear, beautiful. Oh my, it's

just so stunning here. And Corfu is so green, like, full of

trees, like very it's, it's almost like Italy and Greece had

a baby. It's so beautiful. And that's right out the door. I'm

leaving tomorrow morning, so I'm enjoying it now. But I, I was

just at the cortia state, which those of you have been to

immersion, you have, you know, you know, it's like one of the

most beautiful places in the world. You walk through the

gates, and it just like, feels like you're in heaven, and it's

so incredibly expansive. There the perfect place for the

immersion, and look it up the courtier state, also a great

place for weddings. So if you end up having a new paradigm

heroin wedding, I highly recommend you do it there,

because they mostly do weddings and the immersion, which is

hilarious, but I just I look at my life, and I've been really

feeling that I'm going to Paris. I'm Athens tomorrow for a day

Paris for a couple days on Thursday and Friday, or

Wednesday and Thursday, and then on Friday, I fly back to

Nairobi, and I'm there for a couple months, and then I'm in

North America for the summer, and I'm just like, Oh my God. I.

I forget because I'm in my life and I'm I'm in the moment,

right? People are always like, Oh, are you excited to go back

to Kenya? Or do you miss Kenya? Or when I'm in Kenya, do you

miss Greece? You're excited to go to Greece? And it's not that

at all. I don't, I don't get off on anticipation anymore. So this

is so connected. I know I haven't even said the title yet.

When you feel like nothing's working out, most people live in

anticipation, and they get off on being excited about the

future or or reminiscing on the past, like, Oh, I wish I was

there. Oh, I want to go back there, that place that I went. I

felt so good back there. I want to go back there. Or they're

fantasizing about the future. Oh, my god. I can't wait for

that holiday. I can't wait to be in Greece. I can't wait to be in

have a relationship. I can't wait to be married. I can't wait

to have that new job. I can't wait to move I can't wait. I

can't wait. I can't wait. This is the trap. That's the trap,

actually, because it's funny. I didn't plan on saying any of

this. Actually took a few notes, just because my brain cells are

limited right now, but I'm just channeling whatever's coming

through. Most people live in this anticipation state, being

excited for something in the future. And the saddest part

about it is it's such a trap of the mind, because you never get

there. You get there like, you're like, Oh my god. It feels

so good to be on vacation, and then your your mind is like, but

it's boring. You should go do something. You should go do a

bunch of tours. You should get on your phone and check

Instagram. Oh, I miss my boyfriend at home. Oh, I miss my

dog like oh, and your saboteur will always take you out of

being here and now, because once upon a time, being here and now

and present in the moment no longer was safe for you. Because

as a child, you were present in the moment, you were geared

towards pleasure. You were always following your heart and

feeling your feels when you needed to. And someone had you

had you believe you were it wasn't okay to do that, and it

wasn't okay to be there and that you had to be somewhere else and

that you had to go somewhere you didn't want to go. So we have

trained ourselves to be excited for the future right then you

got think about it, like about the school system, like we get

these little jelly beans, like these kids that are like

bouncing off the walls, so excited, so adventurous. Just

want to play. Just want to be in nature. We were watching kids

this morning play, play in the waves, and they were so sweet,

this little boy and girl, brother and sister, and they

were, like, jumping on the waves, and it for hours just

playing by themselves, like a little like, probably four and

six year old. Their parents were so chill. They didn't even come

over once, and they were so happy. And they're just playing

with the waves for so long, with the raw little pebbles and the

sand, and it was so beautiful to watch them. It's like that used

to be all of us, okay, then we got put into a school system

that basically looks like a prison on the outside, unless

you had some like, I don't know, luxury Castle school in England

or whatever, that looks more like Harry Potter, but most of

our schools look like prisons. I know mine. Did they look like

prisons? Okay? And then we're stuck in a classroom like 30

kids, where you get no attention and you're constantly berated,

and you're constantly made to feel stupid and embarrassed and

publicly shamed, and so little kids don't even want to go to

school. And then you like, I remember living near an

elementary school, maybe like, 10 years ago, and I would walk

by and they'd have recess time, and all the kids would like be

running outside screaming, like so excited, because they've been

in captivity, like we were all in captivity for so long. And

then what do we do? They train us to be in captivity, and then

they and then they set us up for the corporate world, where we're

going to be in captivity more, and our captivity in the

corporate world looks different, right? Maybe I have golden

handcuffs, maybe you have great medical benefits, maybe you have

great maybe you have a like, company car, maybe you have a

corner office, or that's what you're working towards, but you

still hate your job, or you hate who's who you work with, or

you're in this like dark place because you're in captivity,

like our souls are meant to be free. We're meant to go our own

way. We're meant to follow our hearts and truths of who who

we're being. So that's why I'm so in love with the immersion

and my life like, and I'm not saying any of this to be like,

Oh, my life's so great. Like, this is, it's not bragging. It's

celebration. It's celebration. Because as women, we don't

celebrate ourselves. We berate ourselves, we put ourselves down

as soon as we even even me saying that Mama genus tells

women to brag. And I even noticed a part of me feeling

like, well, maybe I should dial it back a bit. We do that to try

and, quote, unquote, protect each other, but what it actually

does is keep each other small. So I'm going to fucking brag

right now and tell you how much I love my life, and it's not an

illusion. This isn't a fake Instagram account where I'm

showing you perfect pictures and telling you my life's perfect

when actually I hate myself behind the scenes, or I'm, you

know, in a horrible, toxic relationship behind the scenes,

or, or, or, or this is I have designed a life that is directly

connected to what I teach. Everything I teach you, I do,

and the women at the immersion.

Tell you like, even at the immersion, I'm doing my

processes in my bedroom. I'm working through my own stuff.

I'm, you know, bringing all like I'm doing it with you. I am on

this path with you. I might have been on it longer than you,

maybe not, maybe you've been on the path longer than me, but I

am on the path with you as I share my transformations, as I

share my stories to inspire you that you can too. So if you've

ever had the thought where you're inspired by how I live my

life, and you think, Gosh, I could never have that because I

have kids, or because it could never happen for me because of

where I live, because of my job, because because, because your

mind will tell you, never, always. My mind told me, never,

always, until I stop believing my mind. That's why, in my work,

we call it your saboteur, and we give her a name. Because guess

what, babe, that's not you. That's your conditioned self.

That is who you were taught to be. That's the program. It's an

AI program that was inserted in your mind, and it keeps getting

reinforced. You're being hypnotized when you're very

little, and it keeps getting reinforced, that life you should

be afraid. You should follow the rules. You should go the same

way as everybody else. Your life should look like everybody

else's. No, it shouldn't you absolutely you will only feel

true happiness and experience real love and intimacy when you

are following the truth of your heart. And I know you've heard

me say that a million times, but I'm proof in the pudding, and so

are so many women I work with whose lives are completely

different because they had the courage to go their own way.

They had the courage to do something different. They had

the courage to say yes to themselves and fly across the

world. Come hang out with me and go really, deep with me in a one

on one container, or any other teacher for that matter, they

have the courage to do it differently. It is scary as

fuck, only to your mind and the little girl who is taught she

needs to stay small, but we get to live the most expanded lives.

We get to go our own way. We get to follow our hearts. None of

this stuff was handed to me, not my coaching methodology. No one

taught me the expanded love method. I didn't study in a book

of course. I took many courses over the years that shaped and

and supported me to become the woman I had to become to birth

this work in the world. But nobody gave it to me, right? I

wasn't studying fantasy love and La, la, la, la, like, this is my

soul's mission. This is my soul's expression. And your soul

has one too. We all do. And until you like really come home

to yourself, into your heart, your you will not experience

your mission in this planet, in this lifetime. And it doesn't

have to be connected to what you do for a living. But I believe

that we can build a life that lights us up from the inside

out, and that's the only answer, and then from that place, you

get to experience real love, deep soul love, not just with

one man. I watched these women this year and last year and the

before and every other year before that fall deeply in love

with each other, because they're home, because they're

vulnerable, because they're sharing the darkest corners of

their of their hearts and the the all the beauty that's

underneath it. They're sharing their light. They're celebrating

each other. They're growing together. There's nothing more

beautiful than having an experience like that with women,

right? We've been sold this fantasy like, just wait for that

man who's gonna come along and rescue you and sweep you off

your feet, and then you'll feel happy, and then you'll have an

amazing life, then you'll matter, then you'll be worthy

and lovable. But the reality is, men and women are so different.

We're still trying to get the thing from men that that they

can't give us, right? They give us other things that are so

incredibly beautiful, but most women miss it because we're

trying to get the thing we actually need from ourselves and

from each other that we that men can't give us because they're

different, like they're not they are from another planet, that

book like that title, men are from ours. Women are from Venus.

It could not be more true. And you know, my life certainly took

off when I deepened into soul level, heart expanded,

inspiring, honest, vulnerable, real, supportive, mutually

supportive, expanded relationships with women. And

that happens so naturally, and once you're part of a community

like we're going to Austin this summer for an expanded love

weekend. I do it with my community every year, and it's

like there are the and there's endless communities. My friend

Amy, who I've had on podcast many times, has amazing

communities. Amy pimentski, so many of my friends. My friend

Leah has an amazing community. So many of my friends do this

work too. There's so many communities out there, but it's

like finding the one that's for you for now. And that doesn't

mean it's gonna be the only one for you forever. There's but

like, find your people, your heart, like, follow your heart.

It's everything. So I'm gonna come back to what, what had come

through the first when I first sat down to record this episode,

I had no idea what I was gonna do. I was at the immersion like

you guys.

Have to record a podcast for Tuesday. Only reason I'm doing

it so last minute, this is actually for, I'm recording this

on Monday, and it's coming out tomorrow, but it's so last

minute because I tried to record it last week in Corfu town, but

the Wi Fi at my Airbnb was horrible, and so I ended up not

being able to do it. So here we are. I'm following the moment.

I'm following the guidance, and it's like, of course, it's the

perfect thing that I was meant to share this week, and it was

meant to happen today, because it happened today. So that is

exactly the thing that will make your will shift what's happening

in your life right now. If you feel like nothing's working out.

If you feel like, oh my god, Kate, I listen every week, like,

My life sucks. I hate my relationship, I hate my job, I

hate where I live. I hate everyone in my life, or I'm

being dramatic, but like, if you're feeling miserable,

Discord, anxious,

my number one step for you is to put the oars in the fucking

boat. Yes, I said fucking not the first time. Put the oars in

the boat and let the stream carry you. You have to

surrender. And I know you've heard it a million times. I know

it's really fucking annoying to hear surrender, surrender,

surrender. There are more steps after this one, but this is the

most important if you do not surrender to what life brings.

There's two titles of books that are feel so perfect for this

loving what is by Byron Katie, and whatever arises love that

learn to love yourself in the moment and to accept what is

acceptance is the most life changing state you can ever be.

Okay. I'm accepting that. I'm recording a podcast right now,

and actually, so far, I love this conversation. I know I

can't hear you, but I'm enjoying what's coming through. I I love

it. And I am recording this podcast even though my mind was

like, Oh, I'm too tired. I just led the immersion for a week.

The immersion so intense. I mean, some days we were I'm up

at five every day. Because I, no matter what, I'm devoted to

meditating, to singing, to writing, to creating, to letting

new information come through, every single immersion could not

be more different. I wish last year's group, because last

year's group, I thought for sure. I was like, last year, I'm

like, Oh, this is the best immersion ever. I can't wait to

do all the exact same things next year, and then this year,

it's like completely different, because it can never be the

same, because it's a whole new year, and the astrology is

totally different, and the stars are in a new place, and everyone

this there is in a different place and different energy, and

it's new souls. So new information always comes

through. And if I was controlling the immersion, it

would not be what it is, right? Most people that lead retreats

keep the structure the same, and they don't allow it to change.

We have a structure. It's very structured. Actually, I have a

logistics master that's color coded. We have music queued up.

We have, you know, breaks in there. We have different

practices and processes. And everything is is structured.

There's different themes for each day. Everything's

structured. But if I don't devote myself in the morning to

tuning in and plugging into my own heart and moving through any

feelings that are there anything I need to move if I don't do

that, then I'm not actually being present with the group in

front of me. If I'm trying to put the group in front of me

through the exact same experience last year's group

did. It wouldn't work. It would not have the power and potency

that it does. From structure comes freedom. You do need

structure in your life in order to feel free. But I think that

in the Western world, people have so much structure, they're

missing the feminine flow, right? We're so far in the

masculine we forgot who, the truth of who we are, and the

flow is the trusting life, trusting the stream. The stream

might turn it might go that way. It might go this way, trusting

that the stream is carrying you exactly where you're meant to

go. Everything is divine, everything, I can't even tell

you, like

this immersion group, like and last year, oh my god, last year

was non stop. It's crazy. It's like every every moment is for

you. It's happening because your soul is meant to go in that

direction. Even the most heartbreaking moments are

happening for a bigger purpose. There's some there's a reason

for it. It's not just because and life is leading you where

you're meant to go. So put your oars in the boat. And this is

not, I don't think it's an overnight switch. You know you

could, I can tell you this. I'm sure you've heard it 10 million

times from other places. It's not a switch you just make

overnight. It's not a switch that's just instant. Putting

your oars in the boat is a practice. It's like practicing

your guitar. If you don't practice your guitar every day,

you're not going to become masterful at it, or your cello,

or your french horn, if you don't like an Olympic athlete,

if they're not practicing every day. And also. Meditating and

also singing and also writing and also working out at the gym,

and also, and also, and also eating healthy and taking care

of themselves and believing in themselves and doing mindset

practices where they're meditating and envisioning

themselves winning the gold medal. If they're not devoted

every day to practicing in many ways, they will not become an

Olympic athlete, not possible. So you have a choice here right

now that you're on this path, now that you're following the

new truth and other places to grow into more of who you are,

because obviously you have a sole desire, or you wouldn't be

here. So you have an opportunity and a choice now to practice and

focusing on what's here right now in this moment, is

everything. So I started this episode talking about

anticipation and how people spend so much time getting so

excited about what's coming that your whole life ends up being

fabricated excitement about something you're actually not

even experiencing. And then how often do you get excited about

something, and then it lets you down because your anticipation

excitement? Well, first of all, you do that because you're not

present. You don't know how to be really present where you are,

because you're not home and connected to your heart and soul

and your body. So that's why we do that. We're addicted to the

dopamine hit we receive in thinking about the thing we're

excited about, then you get to the place, but you're addicted

to thinking about things you're excited about, so you never

actually get to fully experience it. So that's why, even though

you couldn't wait to go on this holiday to Mexico and you were

so excited, or this trip up to Greece, wherever you go, there

you are. You're going to show up in Greece, and you're going to

be the same version of yourself, unless you're coming to the

immersion, in which case I don't want which case I don't like

you. You can try women certainly try the saboteurs, try. But you,

if you come to Greece on a holiday and you're always

addicted to your phone, chances are you're gonna come to Greece

and still be on your phone, right? You're gonna come to

Greece. If you're used to checking boxes at home to make

sure you did everything right, you're gonna do the same thing

here, you'll be like, Okay, I'm going to go to five islands, I'm

going to go to the Acropolis, I'm going to do this tour, and

that tour, I'm going to go see this thing, and that thing,

you'll be checking the boxes. Oh, I saw it. Okay? I did it. I

took a selfie. I took a picture, but you're not going to be

receiving or experiencing or feeling any of it. Okay, that's

where most people are. So much more is possible. So practice

for you is to focus on right here, right now. Get out of the

plan. I remember I shared this with with the heroines recently,

about how when I was with Jeff, my old partner, he used to tell

me I needed a business plan when I started this business, and he

was so mad at me because I wasn't doing one. And I was

like, No, that doesn't feel right. And he's like, You need a

plan. You need a plan. I'm like, I can't, like, I don't want one.

Like, it didn't feel right. I'm like, I don't know what I'm

building. It's just happening, like, naturally, and I never did

a business plan. And I'm like, thank FUCKING GOD, because

that's all pre planning in the future. Okay, obviously this is

there's an exception to this. If you're like, building a business

where you need capital and you need fundraising and you need to

get, you know, investors in board, or you need to get a loan

from the bank, obviously you have to do a business plan for

that, like you have to play the game to get the thing.

But my life is so unscripted, and it can't not be that, like

every time I try, that's why the immersion. I keep thinking it's

going to be the same as last year. Every year I fall for it.

Every year I'm like, Oh, I think the logistics Master is perfect.

Like, we don't need to change anything. And then a couple days

before, I'm like, whoa shit, I'm starting to feel the group. I

think things need to change. And then as we do it, every day, new

stuff comes through, and we'll do something and that will be so

beautiful and epic. And then the group's like, oh my god, that

was amazing. And I'm like, Well, that was new. That just came

through for you. It's totally new. And because I'm attuned to

the divine guidance, right? If I'm always pre planning

everything, which most people in the Western world are, if I'm

pre planning everything, I miss the guidance. You're being

guided, but you're missing it. So focus on right here and right

now and what feels good now. Spend less time getting so

excited about your vacation. Let's say you're doing a

vacation in Mexico, and start taking salsa lessons and playing

Mexican music, and actually like feeling the frequency now, so

you're bringing it into here now, or start to pay attention

to now, and what is sucking the life out of you and what is

lighting up your heart. Follow that. Even if your mind is

scared, your mind will be scared. But follow those nudges,

follow those moments. Follows that the heart frequency will

lead you, but you're only going to hear it if you're present. If

you're so busy anticipating the future, you're gonna miss it.

So, I mean, it's all control. I mean, even at the immersion,

everyone tries to control the immersion. Wait, my I haven't

had a breakthrough yet. That woman's breakthrough looked

different than mine, like the saboteur tries to get a hold of

it, or, like, what if I get home, then I can't sustain this

and doesn't work and and it's like, as if we're powerless to

everything, like you are not. Powerless. You get to choose

every moment. You get to choose how you show up. You get to

choose how you cultivate these parts of yourself. You get to

choose what part of you is making your decisions. Are you

listening to what lights you up right now? Are you trying to

plan something 10 months from now or 10 years from now and try

and cure it up Creek? Are you trying to curate the perfect

life that you've been told you're supposed to have? Are you

actually leaning into like, what lights you up right now, in this

moment, like today? And like I said, if this is new for you,

probably sounds like I'm speaking Greek, and you're not

Greek. You don't speak Greek. I'm speaking another language,

taking a light language, that one's for you. Kaya,

speaking a light language you you cannot hear me fully, but

I'm planting seeds. If you've never done this before, but just

know that you can learn how to do this. You can build the like

I never used to be in the moment, and now, every now, I'm

so in the moment. I can't even, like, plan tomorrow. I'm like,

I'm just here. Like, if I'm going, like, I am going to

Athens tomorrow in Paris the next day, and I can't even talk

about it yet. I'm just like, I had to message a friend about

some plans for tomorrow. And I'm like, Oh yeah, I just want to be

here laying on the beach or swimming or eating Greek food.

So Island food, it's the best, but it's a practice. Okay? So

focus on here, and now, put the oars in the boat and let the

stream carry you. Life is the stream, and the stream is so

beautiful and the ride is so magical. But you know, if you're

trying to control everything, you're missing it, and control

runs really deep. There's things you're controlling that you

don't even know you're controlling. It's everywhere.

Most people are controlling their lives because we've been

taught to okay, if I let go of this relationship that's out of

alignment, Kate, probably I'm never gonna have love again,

like control. Okay, so why don't you stay in that relationship?

It's out of alignment, just out of fear that you might never

have love again, or you could build a life that's filled with

love and then you don't feel like it's missing, and then you

become a magnet to it. That's another option. So it's a

practice. And if you need support, which most women do,

call me, let me know we can talk the immersion next year.

Actually, there's five spots left. There's already two women

signed up for next year's immersion, which is amazing. And

it's around this time next year, which is the best time to come

to Greece. Okay. Number two, burn the plan. Kay, I kind of

already said that. Number two, burn the plan. Burn the plan.

Let go of your plan. Stop fucking planning. You've done

enough planning in your lifetime. You built that skill.

You develop that skill. Stop it. Stop planning, burn it. And

learn how to just be. Learn how to follow what feels good. Learn

how to say yes, right now, even though you're terrified to take

that salsa class or to take that improv class, or to learn how to

practice meditating and develop the ability to go deeper into

spaciousness and silence and presence with your own heart and

your own body and your own being. Say yes. Anyways, even

though it's scary, even though you feel like you don't know

what you're doing, say yes to the choir. Say Yes to the

immersion. Say yes to whatever it is that sparked you, that

lights something up in you and that terrifies you, because this

is the gateway. It is the portal.

It is the only way to grow into a life that you love and to

create a life that's spacious and expansive and filled with

pleasure. It's not just me. I literally showed up over and

over and over again, and this, this all came to me. No one gave

me a podcast. No one gave this expanded love method. I

developed myself. No one taught it to me. I know I already said

that, but like, I really want you to get like, I showed up and

I was terrified, and I'm still terrified of the next level of

myself. This is my 10 year anniversary of this work, and

there is big things coming. I can feel it so big, but I can't

like I have to just keep saying yes, even though I'm terrified

and I also can't control it. The book, for example, obviously,

I've talked to you about the unscripted woman book in the

past because I've spent some time working on it, I've written

many words. Still doesn't feel like it's quite there, or it's

like it, I can feel the book, but it's not here yet. And I

know, like, you know, if I talk to anyone who's a book writing

coach, they'll say, you got to do it every day. You got to

force yourself. You just got to, you know, build the habit, which

is true, like, yeah, you you do have to commit, and I am

committed. But the way that my whole business has been built is

from divine guidance and from Divine downloads, and from

synchronicities and from me being clearly LED. And so I was

sharing this this morning with Samara, my my soul sister

sharing this morning about how about the book, and how I

realize it's because I'm unscripted. I can't force it.

It's going to be ready and it's going to be fully birthed when

it's when it's the right time. And I know I won't be able to

put the pen down, metaphorically speaking, probably I won't write

it. The pen, but maybe I won't be able to put the pen down when

it's the right time. So this is true for life. Burn the plan.

Focus on what feels right, right now and then. The other really,

really, really important thing to focus on is celebrating when

you do, celebrating when you make a choice that sparks you,

even though it scares you. And then you get to experience the

benefit of how you feel after saying yes to that thing,

because it'll always expand you, unless it was a wrong direction,

a direction to lead you to something else. Celebrate. Women

are so afraid to celebrate themselves. Celebrate

everything, celebrate every step. Celebrate that you notice

your saboteur almost kept you in something that was sucking the

light of life out of you, and then you finally had the courage

to leave. Celebrate that you woke up and meditated this

morning instead of getting on your phone. Celebrate that you

have attracted amazing souls in your life who are expanding you.

Celebrate that you invested in yourself. Celebrate that you you

know, had a meal and you actually were present with the

meal, instead of distracted, whatever the thing might be that

you are growing into, celebrate, celebrate, celebrate, celebrate,

celebrate. It is everything. It is essential. So put the oars in

the boat, let the stream carry you. Life has a much greater

more expensive, more say, more satiating, more beautiful, more

intimate, more loving, more extraordinary plan for you that

your mind will ever, ever, ever have. So burn the fucking plan.

You know it doesn't mean just because you're burning the plan,

like, I want to get married and have kids burn the plan. That

doesn't mean you're not going to have beautiful, amazing

children. Doesn't mean you're not going to have soul led love,

but you're not going to have any of it. You might have those

things, but you're not going to feel any of them if you're not

home in yourself. And you'll be a way better mom and a way

better partner, and you'll actually be able to receive the

love from all of the above, if you're actually home in your

heart and your soul and your body, right? If you're living a

life that is perpetually chasing the anticipation of everything

you're missing it you're missing everything. You're missing the

magic. You're missing the synchronicities, you're missing

the beauty that this life has to offer you. And there's so much

beauty coming off the immersion. And circling back to the

beginning of this episode, to all my heroine sisters who have

ever walked this path with me. I love all of you the same. I love

you. And it's just like, but I'm so present that whenever I'm the

girls from last year were like, Oh, we're jealous. The new the

newbies get to start over again, and they get to go through the

whole process. And we wish we could be there with you and and

I'm just like, Oh, my God, you are here with us. Like every

woman who's ever walked this path is with us. And it's so

cool. I just have goosebumps everywhere you're all with us

like it's not separate. None of the immersions are separate, but

they're all unique. Every heroine is unique, every heart

is unique, and every soul is unique, and every saboteur is

extraordinarily unoriginal. Saboteurs are unoriginal. So to

all my heroines that just did the immersion, channel that BDE

energy. You know what I mean, and it's not what you think.

Inside joke is not what you think. And I love you all. And

when you feel like nothing's working out, it means you're not

driving your own car. So it's time to drive in the car. Okay?

I just changed metaphors. Let me rewind. If you feel like

nothing's working out for you, put your oars in the boat and

let the stream carry you. And actually only take action that

feels inspired. Stop taking action that feels depleting and

take action that inspires you. Let the boat carry you. You have

got this. You are just like, if nothing's working out, it means

you're waiting for life to work out for you. It means you're

being a passenger to your life. You're being a victim to your

circumstance. You are waiting for someone to come rescue you,

because that's the story we've all been fed. It's time to show

up for yourself, and to show up over and over and over again, to

get uncomfortable, to say yes to yourself and to allow yourself

to grow into the magical, beautiful woman that you're

meant to be, and that this planet needs more of honestly,

the planet needs more of us in our lights and in our fullest

expansion. So I believe in you as always. Share this episode

with every woman you know who needs to hear it. And yeah, love

you lots. And I guess this week is May 5, this episode, so I'm

recording this on May the fourth. May the Fourth be with

you. Jedi Master Training, that's what this work is. This

practice is next week's my birthday. Next Tuesday is my

birthday. So I'll do, I think I'm going to record a birthday

episode once I get back to Nairobi. So it'll be reflections

on this portal, this iteration of my life, and I'm excited to

share it with you. I love you lots, and I'll talk to you soon.

Bye.