Aging, Beauty and The Truth About Self Love - Kate's Birthday Episode

Our beauty is in our aliveness. And when we freeze our face, when

you freeze your ability to express yourself, you are, you are

literally like putting a kink on the hose of your aliveness. Like your

face, your facial expressions are so much of your beauty is

how you express and in communication. 7%

of our communication is in our words. The rest is in body

language and energy and facial expressions. I just think

of like how many women are, are kinking the hose and all

in the name of like, oh, I'm supposed to look a certain way. So they're

controlling their, their beauty. But never, ever,

ever have I met a woman who is controlling her beauty, who

actually feels beautiful on the inside. Like true beauty

is your aliveness, your turn on your joy,

your emotions. Hello my loves.

Kate Harlow here. I'm back in action. I got my

voice back. I was so del

last week when I recorded that episode post

immersion and I have no idea what I said, which is often

the case but hopefully it was valuable in

some way. I am so happy to be back in

Kenya. I feel like I woke up this

morning and it's the first time I felt my life force energy back

my delicate little projector self from holding the space

at the immersion for a week, which is quite an intensive experience.

And I mean so beautiful and I'm so, so grateful

and honored to be able to walk women home to the truth of who they

are. And it's a lot of energy. So

post immersion, I'm with the team, we go to a little boutique hotel and

recover for a few days. But we're connecting and laughing and still

sort of in the vibration of the retreat or the intensive

I'll call it. And then I headed to Athens

for a day and had like tons of packing, you know, repacking.

What am I leaving, what am I taking to do?

Catching up with my friends. And I was up till 11pm having tea with a

few of my besties, my Athens bestie crew.

And then I had to get up at 3:45am to get picked

up the next morning for my flight to Paris. And then I had two days

in Paris, two magical days in Paris. And then I got

home Saturday night and Sunday. I just actually

I guess I got home Friday night, Sunday I slept like till noon

that day. It was so nice. I had the whole day yesterday to recover and

to rest. And so anyways, I feel like the new truth is

like where in the world is Kate Harlow? Carmen Sandiego,

do you remember that show where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

I used to watch that show. It was like, foreshadowing for my future.

So, yeah, I feel back to normal. I'm so happy I'm recording

this on the day before my birthday because I've been so behind on episodes.

Oh, there's a bee climbing up my computer right now. Sweet.

He's coming to say hi and spread some bee medicine. Look up the animal

totem of the bee. They're very magical. Very, very magical

totem. And, yeah, I'm just really feeling

good and I'm excited to dive into this week's episode

with you. My birthday eve. I record this and the episode will

be released on my birthday. So day before.

So this is almost live. And first,

I want to share a magical story of something that happened in Paris. It was

such a beautiful time in Paris. I had the first day with my friend Mari,

who is Greek. She raised her children in Paris. She has an apartment

in Paris. And so I met her for the first day and we had a

lovely time exploring and just, like doing Parisian

things because she's lived there for 30 years, so she's very Parisian.

Parisian Greek. And so it was great. I got to speak a

little Greek with her, a little French with her, and, oh, my gosh, my brain

was. I kept saying to everyone in Paris, which

is thank you in Greek. It's confusing

when you're in so many different countries. But anyways, I went

day two, I met up with a heroine, a woman that came to the immersion

in 2019. And we had

the most magical day. We hadn't seen each other since Mykonos

2019, so it was a beautiful reunion and it

was just the most magical day. We were following our inner guidance

and we had no plans. We went and stumbled across this beautiful little

cafe, which there are 10 gazillion cafes in Paris. Paris is just

so magical. It was cold there. It was like we arrived and it was like

13 degrees. I was wearing a scarf and, you know, warm coat.

And it doesn't matter when you're in Paris. It's just

so beautiful. Everything is so exquisite in Paris.

It's one of my favorite cities in the world, for sure. So we

were sauntering around, had a beautiful lunch. And after lunch, my

phone wasn't working, so we couldn't use my Google Maps. And I

said, why don't we saunter towards the Eiffel Tower? And she looked at her

Google Maps and she said, well, my phone's about to die, but it looks like

we're about 90 minutes away. And I Said, okay, let's just start

walking. And as we're walking, she looks over and sees this boat.

And she's like, hold on a sec. And she goes and chats with the people

and they're about to take off and she says, do you want to get on?

It was one of those tours. It was a small tour boat.

And so I was like, sure. And we hop on. We have no idea how

long the boat goes for. So we get on. We're sitting there chatting, laughing, and

having a beautiful time. And there's a tour guide

guiding the boat. We're not on the Seine yet, the Seine river. We're on

some other river and we're on our way to the Seine yet. Have to go

through this 20 minute long tunnel to get there. I've never done this before. It

was so special. And we find out about 15 minutes into the boat

ride that it was a two hour boat ride. So we're like, cool. We're both

projectors, you know, cruising down a really peaceful river

doesn't sound like a bad idea. So anyways, at one

point the guard, the guide says, you need to go to the back of the

boat to see this monument. So we go to the back of the boat and

we end up sauntering up the stairs to the

roof deck of the boat. And we're standing.

The whole roof deck is packed. You know, every seat's taken. So we're just standing

at the back. And there's this couple standing at the back too. And I have

my eye on them. I'm like, they're so sparkly and they were so

cute. And I was really appreciating their affection and their, their

playfulness. And I felt this, like, connection between us. I could. I

felt like they were kind of like eyeing us too. We had this, like, beautiful

little dynamic going on. And then we started making little jokes

about whatever was happening with the guide. And

sure enough, you know, 20 minutes later, we were taking

selfies. I found out the man lives in Nairobi and

she's from America, but. And he's from Africa, but lived all over the

world. But he has. He

currently just moved to Nairobi in August. So he's also brand new to Nairobi.

She's from America, but lives in Portugal and is on like a

world tour and living a very unscripted life after going through some really

hard times at home and just has been traveling for the world

for a year. And they met in Kenya. Like, what are the

fricking chances? Are you kidding me? They met in Kenya. He lives In Nairobi.

Like, what? Of all the countries in the world, we're in Paris on a

boat that we weren't supposed to be on. Right? This is the unscripted life.

Like, that was a moment in time where the boat pulled. The boat was about

to take off. We were in this, like, oh, like,

set the intention of getting to the Eiffel Tower. And of course, the boat goes

by the Eiffel Tower and it goes by Notre Dame. And it ended up dropping

us near Notre Dame. And we ended up going for a walk with them

and sitting on the Seine river and having champagne, because we were in

Paris, and real champagne, of course, is an important

part. So we had a bottle of champagne together

and a charcuterie board, and we laughed and we looked

up astrology and human design, and they were literally like the same kind of people

as us. It was so magical. So this story

is for all of you who are like, where are my people? I

am awakening who I really am. I'm following my heart and soul.

And now it feels like my friends don't fit anymore. And I'm going to do

a whole episode on that soon because it's such a

big part of the journey where you kind of feel like you're in purgatory. It's

like, okay, I'm now following my magical heart and what is

true for me and resonant for me in my body. And

now the people in my life don't really fit anymore because they don't see the

world in the same way. Well, your people are

everywhere. They're everywhere. And when

you live in the frequency of the heart and you

are following your truth and you're following the magic, and you're not

trying to control how the day goes, whether you're in Paris on

a trip or you're, you know, going to work, you know, if you're not

in controller energy. P.S. i have a masterclass coming

up in June. I'm going to go really deep. It's going to be a totally

revamped version of the five Saboteur archetypes

and the expanded Love Master Class that's coming up in June. I'll tell you more

about that later. But this is the controller, right? The

controller is trying to control how the day goes, that I do

everything perfectly, that I see, all the sights I'm supposed to see. That's the travel

version. Or controlling your day, or controlling your beauty.

Controlling. We'll talk about that today, too. Controlling your life, controlling

how things go. And this literally cuts you off

from the People that are all around you, that you're meant to meet. This

cuts you off from the synchronicity. It blocks you from seeing

the magic that is everywhere. It blocks you from experiencing your own

beauty, your own love, your own heart frequency,

because this is true beauty. So as Happy birthday to

me, it's May 12th. My birthday's on a Tuesday this year, which I think is

the first time since we started the podcast that my birthday's on a Tuesday. Maybe

that's not true. I don't know. The podcast has been going forever. This is year

six. Wow, that's so crazy. So I am according

to the construct of age, which I don't

really subscribe to. Not because I'm resistant to my age,

proud of all the magical years I've had in this lifetime. And

I'm. It's quite extraordinary because I don't really. I just

don't really identify with age. I've said this before,

I don't identify with it. I'm just like. I don't. I don't feel like I'm

20. I don't feel like I'm 30. I don't feel like I'M 45, which

tomorrow, when, today, when this episode comes out, I will be

45 according to, you know,

statistics. But I just don't

identify with age. I feel like I'm just a soul

and I'm, you know, just a being and I'm here

and this. This body is temporary. And I guess that's true. This

body is temporary. This meat suit is the meat suit that I have

been given for this lifetime. And I'm so grateful

for, you know, in a more sacred way, the sacred temple that is my body.

And I feel like age is so irrelevant.

Like 45 comes with so many labels, so many

construct, so many preconceived notions of timelines and what

my life should look like, where I should be, be in myself, what I

should look like, you know, oh, everything starts to go

downhill. There's. Society has so many, oh,

midlife crisis, woman and midlife, you know, this

is when everything starts to get harder and

whatever. It's just. There's all. Just all this bullshit around every age, actually.

And I think back to being 25, you know, if the ideal

for society is a woman in her 20s who has the

most collagen she's ever had and is so beautiful

and blah, blah, blah, whatever society tells us

holds value, whatever patriarchy tells us holds value. It's

like, if I think back to me as a 25 year old. That's actually when

I started my journey of awakening my soul and coming back home to who I

am. I absolutely

hated myself at 25. I was riddled with anxiety,

honestly. I was at war within. I

was so mean to myself. My weight fluctuated constantly because I was

constantly beating myself up. I compared myself to every

woman. I felt worthless, I felt stupid. I felt like I wasn't good in anything.

I was in misery. And I

started the coaching journey because life started magically leading me and I started to

listen to the signs and I didn't really know that's what I was doing, but

I just kept following the little treasures along

the way. And one moment at a time led me to this

life I have now and this purpose that has unfolded so beautifully and

so divinely. And I'm like, I wouldn't trade

today and where I am for anything.

I wish I could go back and pour love into that

25 year old and tell her the truth about who she is and let her

know that she's so safe and supported and that, you know, her safety

isn't in some prince. At 25, I certainly was waiting for a prince

to rescue me. And I had one show up shortly thereafter,

Charlie. And he was like the perfect on paper man. And we had a perfect

on paper relationship. And everyone started getting married and having kids and

I was heading in that trajectory. Where would we be right

now? Like, would the new truth exist if I was married with kids? No way.

No fricking way. If I had married Charlie and stayed in Canada,

like, who would I be? It's so wild to think

about that. And yet at the time, I was in

such fear that I was going to fall behind, that I wasn't doing my life

right, that I had to look a certain way, that it had to look a

certain way, that I had this good relationship on paper. So I need to lock

it down to be safe. And that's where

I was at 25. And here I am 20 years later. God,

that's crazy. 20 years. Oh my God. It's been officially 20

years since I've been on this path. I always say almost 20 years. I

have been on this path of self growth and personal

development for 25 years. I

think 20. Oh my gosh. I said 25. I'm not 50. 20 years. 20 years.

And that is so wild. So I

wouldn't trade where I am now for

anything. And I think about this construct. So I

decided to name this episode Aging Beauty and

the Truth About Self Love. Because I feel like There's a lot of talk

about self love out there today and a lot of people who are

talking about self love are riddled with Botox and injections and

you know, maybe fake, whatever, it doesn't matter. And said this is said with so

much love. Not judgment at all. Never, never, never am I judging anyone.

Except for the systems. Maybe I have a little, you know, resentment or judgment

towards the systems that have women so brainwashed to believe

that their beauty needs to be controlled. Just like their diet

needs to be controlled. Just like their life needs to be

controlled, their timeline needs to be. We

spend so much time buying into the fantasy of life, which this is

part of the saboteur scripted life, the fantasy of what we

should look like, of what our lives should look like. And then we try and

control that fantasy and

true beauty and aliveness will never be found when we are living in

the fantasy, when we are living the controlled life and when we are

so hooked into this timeline of what our life is supposed to

be. I mean, I've said this a million

times, but I couldn't have fathomed that my life would be what it is

now. I mean, I couldn't have made it up. I couldn't have made a vision

board and manifested this life because I had no idea this was

what my soul was going to feel. Alive. I'm back in Kenya

and I spent the day yesterday sleeping till 12. And then I got up and

I went into my bliss chair and I sat and I had my butter

coffee, which I'm obsessed with in my hanging

chair. And I did some writing and I just listened to the birds and I

watched these beautiful magical little hummingbirds with yellow bellies and blue

backs and these butterflies kept flying around me and it was. Sun

was shining and I'm in this magical jungle where

my cottage is in Kenya. And I'm like, how

blessed am I? And I'm so grateful

that I didn't follow the script, that I didn't follow the

timeline of who I was supposed to be, of who society told me to

be, of who patriarchy told me to be. And I've never felt more

beautiful than I do right now. But. But I. But it's not in an

egotistical like, oh, look at me, I'm so

beautiful. Look at me in my photo or look at me in the mirror. It's

not like that. True beauty is a feeling. It's not

a. It's not a destination, it's not a what you look like the

permanent state, something I've Noticed about my beauty is whenever I have

anxiety, I look different. Whenever I have, like, something

that's anxious, I'm like, something's been activated. I'm in a

contracted state. I look in the mirror and I'm so different.

I don't look radiant or beautiful or alive. And I think, how

many women have chronic anxiety and they're just taking

pills to numb it and they're putting Botox in their face to try and

hide their tiredness and what their face

looks like because they think, oh, I'm just aging. And they look

in the mirror and they think, oh, I'm ugly now. I'm 45,

just like weathered, so I need to like, slow everything down and stop

it. And I think about, I haven't talked about Botox in a long

time, but I'm going to talk about it a little bit because it's become so

mainstream. And again, I say this with so much love and that you don't have

to take it or leave it. Planting seeds doesn't, you

know, I fully support you doing what feels best for you. But I

just think, like, our

beauty is in our aliveness. And when we freeze our face, when you

freeze your ability to express yourself, you

are literally like putting a kink on the hose of your

aliveness. Like, your face, your facial expressions are. So

much of your beauty is how you express

and in communication. 7% of our communication is in

our words. The rest is in body language and energy

and facial expressions. I just think of, of like, how

many women are kinking the hose and all in

the name of like, oh, I'm supposed to look a certain way. So they're controlling

their beauty. But never, ever,

ever have I met a woman who is controlling her beauty,

who actually feels beautiful on the inside. Like,

true beauty is your aliveness, your turn on

your joy, your emotions.

I think about the immersion, how fucking beautiful every woman is

when she cries. And like, we're all trying to, like, hold back our tears

and hold back our feeling. Don't want to wrinkle your face because you're feeling right

now versus, like, that's when your eyes become more bright, your

skin becomes more dewy. Everything, all the blood rushes to the surface and

you look more beautiful than ever before is after crying

or when you're crying. Like, vulnerability is so fucking

beautiful. And it, to me, it's just

the heart's expression. And

women, I mean, even at the immersion, watching the transformation

as women reclaim all these disowned parts of themselves as

they reclaim and they express their Rage and get to the bottom of

what's, like, stuck inside. And they feel their turn

on, they feel their joy. And they're immersed in nature, and they're immersed in this

beautiful sensual culture of Greece. And, you know, they're

going through this magical journey together and they're being loved in their icky

places, and they're. They're being held and supported by women in ways they've

never been supported before and feel more seen than ever before. And

every woman at the end of the immersion is, like, so fucking beautiful. It's

insane. Like, so beautiful. It is. We are all,

like, oh, my gosh. In awe of each other. It's this beautiful synergy

and this beautiful. This beautiful energy where

every woman is just like, oh, my God, who are you? Because the

truth is, when your saboteur's in charge and you're in your fear and your

survival pattern, so controlling your beauty is a survival pattern based on

your conditioned self, based on what you believe you're supposed to look like,

right? Where you're supposed to be on the timeline or what your

life's supposed to look like. When you're controlling any facet of your life

and trying to control how it goes, trying to control what people see, trying

to control what your life looks like and where you are in the timeline,

you're actually dimming your beauty. You're dimming your radiance, right?

Radiance only comes from a soul and a heart being open and

alive. And a woman being so in her body doesn't

matter what. What size you are, what age you are. Every fucking woman at the

immersion is so incredibly magnetic and beautiful at the

end, to the point where people are like, oh, my God, like, who are these

women and why are they so sparkly? Like, holy shit. The world around you is

like, responds in such a different way. And that's

what every little girl, little wounded girl inside of you,

inside of us, every little wounded girl's longing to

be seen and loved and known

and longing to feel that sort of

specialness. But the ego saboteur tries to control

having it and then never feels it. So it's such a

dichotomy because you keep doing these things to try and control your

beauty or control your aging or control

your life in some way so that you fit, so that

you belong, so that you are good enough or worthy or

lovable or have succeeded at life or whatever. Whatever the driving

force is, and yet you never get to have the thing

you're chasing, right? You never get to feel beautiful it's like chasing love

from insecurity and you're trying to get the guy if you're trying

to get the guy. But it's not rooted in deep self love and you already

are rooted in who you are and you don't need it. You're

fully satiated on your own and in your love within yourself.

Your ability to receive love is so different than when you're the

woman who's the wounded little child in the saboteur. Trying to get love, trying to

control where it goes, trying to control the timeline. And then no matter

what he or she does in that relationship, nothing

will ever meet you, nothing will ever feel like enough because it's a

wounded little girl trying to get the thing from outside of herself.

So it is such a self fulfilling prophecy to let

your saboteur lead. The expanded love masterclass is absolutely so

important. And it's going to be next level this time. I'm actually instead of doing

a five day one in June, I'm going to do actually I think I have

the date. It's going to be a Friday, Saturday, Sunday, two hours each morning,

June 12th to 14th. So would love to have you join me for that.

The link will be available soon. It's not available yet, but

I'll let you know closer to the date. But

that's it. It's like we're constantly chasing everything from

the saboteur, trying to control it and then we never feel

it, we never feel satiated, we never feel beautiful, we never feel

it internally like that. It's like there's this fountain of

youth, it's like the energy of Aphrodite. In Greece they call her

Aphrodite. There's named Aphrodite the

goddess of love. And it's like that, that is the most beautiful

like when you tap into the infinite love of who you are.

And this might sound like crazy and weird, but it's like it's true. Trust me,

I've worked with women for, I've worked with thousands of women at this point,

but I've been working and coaching in different capacities for 17 years. And

that fountain, when you tap into that fountain and you really connect with

your divinity and with your soul and you start to live from that place.

You are the most magnetic, beautiful, radiant woman in any room.

But also you're not looking for attention or validation. You don't

need it. You don't need to know that people perceive you that way

because you just are home, you're satiated, you don't need

Validation as to, like, that you're doing a good job at your job. You don't

need any validation. You'll get a lot of recognition from the world around you

because people can't not recognize you when you're in that energy. That is the

energy. Like the. On the boat with the. Those, those new friends that I made.

I'm so excited to have them in my life. I feel like we're going to

be super connected for a long time. But, like, that

was such a beautiful experience. And when we were sitting on the sign, having a

glass of champagne, eating charcuterie, the

girl said to me, or the woman, I'll say the beautiful,

magical woman said to me, she said, when we

were watching you on the boat, before we had connected with you, we

were playing the. We were. We loved to people watch and we love to guess,

like, who people are and said we looked at you and thought, oh, that

girl must be like, maybe she's a Hollywood actress. She looks like a Hollywood actress

or, or like a boss, a CEO, like running some

big company, whatever. And she reflected that to me and I was like, really?

What the hell? That's how you perceive me? I'm like, must be my Leo

rising. But I felt so in that moment, just

like, wow, that's so wild that that's how I'm perceived. But

that's magnetism. That's magnetism because I was just in

my heart. Am I magnetic in every moment? Fuck, no. Of course I'.

Of course there's times where I'm exhausted or I'm anxious,

something's activated me, or I'm in my small self. But I'm so

devoted to tending to that little girl when she's there. When I'm in my

small self, I am pouring love into her. I am letting that part of

me feel. I'm letting her know she's not alone. I'm taking care of her.

And then I come back to that expansiveness, that magnetism, that

sovereign woman inside the heroine. So

this is available to you at all times. And I just

think, you know, once upon a time, women were just present in the moment,

right? Like, there was a time when mirrors didn't exist and we couldn't even see

what we looked like. There was a time where magazines and television

didn't exist and there was no preconceived notion of what we were

supposed to look like. There was a time where

curvier, larger women were revered as beautiful

because it was a symbol of wealth. It's like,

you know, and now it's like whatever the Kardashians are doing, or

Taylor Swift, or like whoever we're modeling after

based on our programming of what we're supposed to

look like. Or Kate Moss, who led the Bless her heart.

I don't mean this in a To blame her, but

Kate Moss and all the Kate mosses of the 90s. There was an epidemic

of anorexia and eating disorders in the 90s.

Huge. I think Botox is now the epidemic and plastic

surgery is now the epidemic based on the celebrities that

are leading the way for all the lost women who are

disconnected from the magic of their own souls. So,

you know, it leads us down a really dark path when we're looking

outside of ourselves to decide what we should be. Truly,

it leads to all suffering. Comparison is absolutely futile because

you are a unique soul and there's so much beauty

and magic inside of you. You have gifts, you have

purpose. There's so much inside of you that you

at least. Like, if you haven't got to know the magic of your own

soul, you're just not. You just haven't got to know the magic of your own

soul. But it's a journey. And you know, when you devote yourself

to your own inner world and you devote yourself to your

own pleasurable experience and you stop saying, like, is this right? What do you

think? Should I. Should I wear this? Is this good enough? Like. Like, I gotta

ask my boss. Let me just. And you're, like, constantly giving your power away. Oh,

I wish. The guy texted me, fuck. Why am I not good enough? Oh, he

left me for that woman. What does she have that I don't have? Blah, blah,

blah, blah, blah. You're sa. Your saboteur will constantly look to the world around you

and attack you and keep you in captivity because she was hired to do

so. Right? She'll be ruthless. It's not her fault. She

thinks she's protecting you. But your saboteur will go to

hurt you at no cost. She will go to no end

to keep you in that captivity because she believes it's

safe. Even if she has to abuse you to keep you there. She is your

captor. And most women, especially

the women I've worked with, but most women in the world, I'd say, are battling

a war within themselves and their minds tell them the war is with

their boss or the war is with their ex husband, or the war is with

the world around them, or the war is with the war, or like Donald

Trump or whatever. Like the war within will blame other people for

that war. The war is about our weight or the. If I. If I just

have love, if I just get love one day, then I. Then I'll be worthy

and beautiful. If I just lose ten pounds, if I just, you know, freeze

myself and get more plastic surgery so I look a certain way based on

what I've been told in the brainwashing and program that I've been

consuming. The birds are agreeing with me, if you can hear them.

In the brainwashing and consuming of all the

conditioning I've been

privy to my whole life, you think the

life and the timeline you're chasing and the beauty you're chasing and

the body you're chasing and the man you're chasing and all of that, you think.

Think it's coming from you. And you will. Your saboteur will fight

me and tell me, okay, this is what I want. This is the life that

I'm supposed to have, and I know it. And I. And it doesn't mean you're

not going to have, like, let's say you want to be a mama one day.

If you know deep in your heart and soul that that's an experience that you're

meant to have. Happy Mother's Day to all the mamas yesterday and

all the mamas that are mumming, mothering the little girl within

themselves, too. But if you believe in your heart and soul that's an

experience that you're meant to have, you will. But you don't have to fear it.

You don't have to control it. You don't have to fight for it. Like

when you come back to that beauty

and that fountain within and living your life

for the now. I mean, we spend. The saboteur

wastes your whole fucking life trying to control the future,

regretting the past, beating yourself up over the past, or fantasizing

about the past, thinking you were more beautiful then, or, you know, you should go

back to that boyfriend because he loved you more than anyone else. And past,

past, past either pain or pleasure, but fantasy about

the past. And then we go into fantasy about the future and,

you know, we miss everything. The only thing that exists is

right now. And who are you being in this moment? And are you taking

responsibility for who you're being in this moment? Like the core of

the work I do with women or the path I take women on, I'll say

it's not work. It's play. It's pleasure. It's the opposite of work. But

the core of it is the practice of, like, who am I

being and am I taking responsibility for what part of me I'm bringing into

this dynamic. Whatever you're experiencing is a direct

result. So even if you're seeing yourself as ugly, when you look in the mirror,

there is some very big war happening inside of you and you are in

discord internally. Because when you are connected

internally, you will see something different in the mirror and you'll experience something. The world

around you will see you differently. When you are truly plugged into that

fountain of beauty and love that is the core of who you are.

And you learn how to live from that place. And it is a practice, right?

It's not a permanent state, it's not a destination. You don't just come to the

immersion and you're there forever. It's a practice. It's a practice. You have

breakthroughs like that. You come, you deepen, you untether from

all of those conditioned parts of you that are chasing something but never

let you actually experience them, right? You never get to

experience everything you desire. When you're chasing the thing and

you're trying to control it, whether it's beauty, your love life, your career,

your purpose, trying to find it, trying to control it. It, trying to

make it happen will never ever lead you to it. It is a

self fulfilling prophecy. But when you

learn to untether from those controlled fantasy

parts and you start to live from that infinite beautiful

resource inside of you that. That fountain of beauty and of

love. Oh my God, my love. You get to experience the most

magical life. You become a magnet to opportunity,

to magical experiences, to meeting magical souls. Like, what are

the chances we're on this boat, you know, have just stayed on the lower

deck. We could have just stayed, you know, inside talking to

each other the whole time. But both Annabelle and I are so

connected to following our hearts and our magic. And when the woman said, go to

the back of the boat, we both felt an impulse to follow her and we

went. And surely it led us to the upper deck and that's. And the upper

deck was full. We could have been, we could have looked at the upper deck

and thought, oh, there's no seats left. But we didn't. We

stayed there and we had this magical connection with this

beautiful couple who I'm sure I will be seeing soon in Kenya.

So it is such a magical life, full of

alignment, full of experiences you're meant to have. Full of

deeper, more meaningful purpose, right? That's where your beauty

comes from. It comes from you doing things that light up your soul,

that light up your heart, that's what self love is. You know,

people often talk about self love. Oh, you just gotta love yourself. You just gotta

have self love. And, you know, self love is.

Is. I really think it's a lifelong practice of how am

I showing up for myself? How am I talking to myself? Am

I letting my saboteur beat the shit out of that little girl inside and abuse

her and create that war within? And then blame the world outside of me for

the war that's within? And then I just numb it with antidepressants or food or,

you know, whatever the thing is that I'm trying to control. Or do

I actually build the voice of my heroine,

the loving, divine mother, lover, love, mentor,

guide to that little girl? Do I start building a new voice

that tells her, I've got you no matter what happens in your life, that

you tell her, you are safe. I am here.

Whenever your saboteur is like, you're alone, you're gonna be alone forever. Do you

put your hands on your heart and tell that little girl, I am so sorry?

You know, she's trying to protect you in the only way she knows how. But

you are safe and you are not alone. I'm here with you. I. Oh, my

God, Michael Jackson. You are not alone. Do you sing that to

yourself? And remember that you have angels and guides

and the divine and the universe, like, you are so held, you are so

loved. You are never alone. Do you tell yourself that? Do you build the

voice of your heroine when you feel small? Small, right. These are

little practices you can do to start to shift into a

life of loving yourself because nobody's coming to

rescue you. Unfortunately, we've been fed fantasy stories our whole lives that

one day we'll be rescued. Someone will save us, us with our finances, or someone

will save us with our making us feel lovable, worthy, and

good enough. Someone will come with their horse and they'll climb up the

tower and they'll rescue us. But you know, no matter how many men

or women or partners try and rescue you, none of them will be able to.

Because then it'll be a little girl in the relationship, a little wounded girl who

will never feel enough, right? So the rescuing model just ain't

working anymore. It's not working. You got to do do it

for yourself. You got to learn to build a deep, reverent, loving

relationship with yourself. And let me tell you, it's a learnable skill. I've

been helping women do it for a long time, and man,

it was so beautiful to be with Annabel. And see her in her life

now. And she came to the immersion in 2019, and we met so

divinely, like she was. She's French. She was living in Australia

at the time. I went on a very spontaneous last minute trip. I booked

trip like two weeks before to Australia in 2018,

right after the Immersion. I just got back from Greece. My best friends were going

for a work trip to Australia. And at the exact same time they were going,

they were like, oh, you should come. The next day, I got an email from

one of the women who'd just been at the immersion who was Australian. And she

said, hey, my friend hosts workshops at her house and she loves hosting events. And

I told her all about the Immersion in you, and she wants you to come

host, like a weekend women's event. Would you do that sometime soon?

And I was in Vancouver at the time and I said, oh, oh my

God. Last night I was talking to my friends and they're going to Sydney in

two weeks and they want me to come. And I said, well, that'd be cool

if I could do a workshop there. Obviously this is divinely guided.

Yes, let's do it. So we put the workshop together,

attracted 20 women to this experience. And one of them

was Annabelle. And she got the message and

she saw someone promote my workshop. And

it was in her neighborhood, and it was not even in Sydney proper.

It was in the Northern beaches and in her neighborhood. And she saw

it and she had been praying for a teacher. And when she saw

that message, she was like, oh, my God, here she is. I think this is

my teacher. And she came to the weekend workshop. Sure enough, I feel like I

went there for her, for this connection. She came and

worked with me for a year after she came to the Immersion, and her

whole life trajectory changed. And now she's built or she's

renovated this beautiful house in the south of France. She's reclaimed her life there.

She's just like, on this magical journey. And it

is so freaking special that we got to play in

Paris together and I got to be with her heroine. And she truly is

living a life of the heroine. Like, it doesn't matter how loud your

saboteur is, how insecure that little girl feels inside.

I promise you, so much more is possible for you. You just have

to choose. You have to choose, you know, who you prioritize. You have

to choose what you devote yourself to. I was watching an interview

yesterday by a guy who chose channels. Bashard, I think was

the channel name, but I don't know the man's

name who channels. But anyways, I might even botch that one. But

I'd never seen him before and it popped up on my YouTube suggested

channels. And there was something he said that stood out so much.

He said people always say, oh, I'm not confident, I don't

trust myself. And he said I don't have self trust,

I don't believe in myself. And he goes, yeah, yeah you do. You're very

confident in your self hatred or in your insecurities.

You're very confident and you trust your fear,

right? It's just like the muscle has been built for those things.

So if you can trust your fear and you can follow it over and over

and over and over again your whole life, minus like you know, seven

years or something, whenever you started following those fear based control

protective mechanisms, you can also learn to trust your

love. You can learn to trust your intuition, you can learn to trust your heart.

Heart. You can learn to trust yourself and your inner

being. That's a practice, that's a learnable skill.

And it's so learnable. And your soul is just waiting for you.

Your heart and soul and your inner being, which is your

heroine, they're just waiting for you. And

those parts of you haven't experienced any trauma, right? The only part of you

that's experienced trauma is your younger parts of your human self.

So no matter what you've been through, no matter what you look like, no matter

how old you are, no matter what your story is, this

path is possible for you. Living a life of becoming

the heroine of your life. Where you're the leading lady, where your life is

no longer in sacrifice to everyone else's experience,

but your life is actually devoted to your own

inner temple and to treating your body like she is

a goddess. Because she is a goddess, right?

And the little girl ins wanting some man to stop

by and be like you're a goddess. Let me tell you how much you are

and let me help you believe it. You will never believe it coming from outside

of yourself. No modeling agency, no fucking new job,

no recognition from the world around you is going to make you feel

that magnetism, that lovability, that

an infinite resource of self worth and love.

The temple of love, the temple of your heart is the

only place where you're going to feel it. And the coolest part

is my God, my loves, the love that you're going to experience in your life

is going to be so much greater. Not just with one person, with everyone

and with the world and with the magical creatures in the

world and with the lovers and

loves that you get to experience, you will actually be able to

receive it when you're home in yourself and when you're living a life in devotion

to you. So no matter what your story, this is the

journey to self love. And it is walking through life,

treating yourself like the queen and goddess that you are. Always

considering your inner experience and loving up that little girl when

she needs you. And you know, listening to those calls of your

soul. Because your soul doesn't come with a manual. Your

soul will never have words. It'll never have reasons why you're drawn

to something. It's just energy. It responds to energy.

So you'll come to a place like I did when I got to Kenya. I

landed in Kenya. I smelt the air. And something felt

different in my body. My first day at Olopengu Farm,

I looked out on the horizon on the ridge, I saw giraffes. My

eyes filled with tears. I'd never even been to Africa. I'd never thought of

coming to Africa. I knew nothing about Kenya. I didn't even know where it was.

And I was looking at the ridge, watching these giraffes, and I already was feeling

so deeply moved by all the beautiful Kenyan people I'd met that

in the day I'd been there, half a day I'd been there. And I looked

out on the ridge and I felt like, oh my God, I feel like I'm

home. And here I am in my cottage in Kenya and my

home is inside of me. And Kenya is a place that I feel so aligned

and so alive. And my home is also in Greece. I feel

so aligned and so alive there. And my home is also in Paris.

Paris is so beautiful and magical and you know, it's like

it's wherever my heart feels resonance. That's self

love, that's beauty, right? Age is a fucking

construct. Doesn't matter. I don't feel resistant to being the age that I am.

But I also don't really identify with it. I'm in some place in the

middle where I don't buy into any of the constructs or the

labels or the limitations that come with this label.

I am just more and more devoted every single day

to my own soul and to my own heart and to my own magic.

And this is the best place to live from.

Life is so juicy. Love is so juicy. What's available to us is so

fucking juicy and incredible when you learn to live from the heart and truth of

who you are. So if you feel like this is

really far away from you. It's not. It's your heroine's right there waiting for you.

Your soul's right there waiting for you. But maybe it's time

to get some support to show up for yourself

in the biggest way. And you can wait forever. You can put it off

for one day. One day, One day. The fantasy addict will always put it in

the future. The controller will say, I can do it myself.

The self sacrificer will say, oh, I can't invest in myself. I can't show up

for myself. I can't put myself first. But the truth

is, when you do, and you learn to,

and you have someone holding your hand, shining the light on your blind spots,

and you learn to devote your life and your soul to you, it's the greatest

gift you can give everyone in your life. And

why else are we here? You know? Makes me think of that Aero. No, not

Aerosmith. Bon Jovi song. I just want to live while

I'm alive. It's your life. It's your life.

And a lot of women say, I think I said this last week, but I

hear a lot of women say, oh, Kate, it's possible for you, but it's not

possible for me. That's bullshit. I created this.

I did the hard thing. I had the courage to go my own way and

to follow the moment and to trust my own heart. And it was something I

had to learn. I wasn't born this way. And like I said at the beginning

of the episode, when I was 25, I was rich with insecurity and

discord because I was so far away from my soul, my heart, and look where

I am now. So this is possible for you too, and I would love to

guide you home. If you feel ready, send me a private message. Send me an

email. Kate Harlow, XO mail.com

or an Instagram or Facebook if you want to explore what the possibility would

even be. I have the Reclamation online program. There's lots of different

options, but it's time to come home to yourself. So

don't buy into the bullshit of the aging beauty fucking

industry. It's a pile of shit. It is. You know, your

beauty is directly connected to

how deeply connected you are to your heart and soul and how much you're living

from that place. And deeply learning to love yourself. You will be more

radiant and beautiful and magnetic to everything you could ever imagine,

everything you long for. But trying to control your beauty or control your aging or

control your life and your timeline and your path is the thing

that's going to make you feel ugly and make you feel disconnected and make you

feel miserable and anxious and depressed because you're repressive. Expressing who you really

are. So time to come home, my loves. I love you

so much. Hope you enjoyed this episode. Send it to all

the women in your life who know who you know need to hear

this message. And I am celebrating myself today,

45 years on planet Earth. I'm pretty proud to be me.

Grateful to be home and to love myself in the way I do today. And

it was a journey and you can do it, too. Love you so much. We'll

see you next week.