When Hope Outruns the Odds

[00:00:00] Welcome to Hope In The Face of Cancer, where we share real stories of courageous people in their cancer journey. My guest today is Nick Bafani, a husband, father of two, marathoner, Ironman triathlete, and a stage three pancreatic cancer survivor. In early 2017, back pain kept him up for three straight nights. One morning, he got his kids on the school bus, told his wife to head to work, and drove himself to the ER.

[00:00:30] Expecting to be handed some medication and sent home. Instead, a doctor walked in and turned off the television. Nick says he knew right then. What the scan showed made him inoperable. But Nick walked into his first oncology appointment and asked for one thing most patients never think to ask for. A single question that would change the course of his treatment and very likely his life. I'll let him tell you the rest.

[00:00:59] Today, Nick calls himself the 2.0 version. And he's turned everything he learned into helping other people facing this disease. Because the one regret he carries is how long it took him to find people who understood. Nick, thank you so much for being here and sharing your story with our audience today. Well, thank you so much, Darcie. It's an honor and a privilege to be here today. Absolutely. So I would love that our audience to get to know you a little bit.

[00:01:29] So tell us a little bit about your life and your family and where you're from. Yeah, sure. So I grew up in Pennsylvania in the suburbs of Philadelphia. You know, I'm happily married for 25 years. And we've got two kids that, you know, that one's in college now and the other one's getting ready to graduate high school. Oh, you're close to being an empty nester. Yes, yes, definitely.

[00:01:59] Definitely so. You know, what I would tell you is, you know, life for me was probably pretty boring. You know what I would say before a cancer diagnosis. So in my earlier days, right, I was a competitive runner and athlete, you know, really stayed super active, got away from running after high school years.

[00:02:23] And, you know, what I would tell you is, ironically, cancer got me back to running, but not my own personal cancer. Right. You know, it was actually when my mom got diagnosed with cancer, you know, later in life that re-triggered and started the running for me kind of all over again. So what was it about her diagnosis that made you go back to running?

[00:02:52] You know, was it a coping mechanism for you? Sure. So I remember leaving the hospice center and going on an elevator ride down. And when I got to the ground floor, I just came up with this epiphany that, like, I was going to run a marathon. And I remember telling my wife and just remember, like, she didn't know me in high school. She didn't know all about my running days.

[00:03:21] And she said, Nick, how are you going to do this, right? You've never run in this before and you're just going to jump in. And, you know, for me personally, it was all about, you know, doing something to honor my mom and trying to work through, you know, a very difficult situation. And what I will tell you is I rediscovered the love of running.

[00:03:50] And later in life, boy, did I need it. I needed it more than ever. Tell us a little bit about your mom's cancer journey. Was that the first exposure you had to cancer in your family or do you have other family members who had cancer? Unfortunately, we have a lot of cancer on both sides of the family. Um, so in my direct family, my mom was the first.

[00:04:16] Um, so she got diagnosed with, um, basically metastatic colon cancer, um, at, at the point. Um, I lived in California at that time. So I actually came back. I was back quite often. And then we actually moved back to be closer, um, to our family at that time. And, uh, you know, for her, they didn't give her too long, right? They gave her about six to nine months.

[00:04:43] My mom battled through for about six years. Um, yeah. So, yeah, yeah. It's funny. I tell a lot of people that, you know, my mom was very sweet and, um, I didn't realize how tough she was. Um, you know, and you don't understand those things until you become a patient. I mean, you can make observations from afar, uh, but they're just that.

[00:05:13] They're observations. Yeah. What did your mom's cancer journey teach you or how did it change you? Well, I think, ironically, I feel like my mom kind of prepared me, uh, you know, for my own journey. Um, you know, and as a parent today, I, I certainly understand things like, you know, you always worry about your kids, right? You're worried about everyone else.

[00:05:40] And, um, I saw that, you know, through her journey, she was always worried about, you know, my brother, my sister, myself, my father, or everyone else, right? Yeah. Everyone but herself. Yep. Ironically. And, uh, what I would tell you is that perspective really helped me because I had two young kids and I got diagnosed. I had a wife, right? I had my father, you know, my brother, my sister.

[00:06:10] I have a massive family. Um, and I don't think I would have managed the diagnosis. Anywhere near as well as I did if it wasn't for her. Hmm. Yes. And she couldn't have imagined while she was going through that journey, what she was teaching you and the legacy that she was leaving you that gift, perhaps, um, that you carried with you through your own journey.

[00:06:41] Yeah, definitely so. Sometimes I feel like, you know, maybe did she know along the way that that was going to happen? Because, boy, if she did, like, she gave me, uh, she sure did a good job, right, of helping me be prepared. Yeah. A little crash course in preparation that you didn't realize you were getting. Yes. Yes, exactly. 2017. Tell us about what was going on. You knew something wasn't right. Take us along that journey with you. Yeah.

[00:07:09] So, I noticed early in January that I was having, like, some digestive issues. And as an, like, as a, I guess, a middle-aged athlete, I won't say athlete anymore, middle-aged athlete, I just noticed that, like, my body didn't seem right. So, I just picked up the phone, called the family doctor, got a few recommendations for GI specialists, and I made the calls.

[00:07:36] And, uh, ironically, you know, they were three to four months out, right, was the soonest appointment, you know. Um, but the symptoms got worse, and I noticed that I was losing weight, and I was not trying. Um, I had to eat smaller meals as a result of it. Um, my poor wife, I, we laugh about it now, but I would always say to her, like, hey, what did you put in that food?

[00:08:05] Like, something just didn't, like, sit right with me. And, you know, we laugh about it now. Um, uh, but, you know, that, that was, like, really the beginning of it. Um, and it was, sometimes it was inconsistent. What changed for me was the back pain. Um, the back pain would come and go, but it was the worst of the worst at nighttime.

[00:08:35] And I had a few nights in a row where I would just get in the shower and take a hot shower just to try to numb the pain. And as a result, obviously, I was not sleeping. Yeah. Which means my wife was not sleeping, right, as well.

[00:08:53] So, and, you know, we had made a, we had a conversation and I just said, like, okay, after the third night, you know, I was going to take myself to the ER, um, and kind of figure out what was going on. Yeah. So you head to the ER. I would imagine you were probably there for a little while. What did they find? Yeah.

[00:09:19] So the ER was packed and, um, I, they checked me in and my blood pressure was like through the roof because I was in so much pain. And, um, you know, I think they thought I was there because like, I just wanted some short term fix. Right. And when I told the nurses when they were checking my vitals, yeah, I'm not here for that. Something's wrong.

[00:09:45] Um, so fortunately for me, I got prioritized and I got pulled back, um, pretty quickly. Um, you know, at first they thought like, okay, maybe it's a gallbladder issue. Um, so they did an ultrasound. Was not a gallbladder issue. Um, you know, then they thought, okay, well, maybe it's an early appendix, you know, so they did a CT scan.

[00:10:10] And I was sitting back in the room and sitting there for a while, which, you know, made me believe that like, okay, well, they probably saw something. Right. And I don't, I'll never forget. Like I was watching a premier league soccer game on the TV while I was sitting in the bed and the doctor walked in and turned off the TV. You know, and at that moment, you know, my initial thought was like, oh, maybe I just have an ulcer. Right.

[00:10:37] And, you know, they'll give me some medication and I'll be on my way. Uh, but conversation went very different that day. So what did he tell you? What did they see at that point in time? Sure. So because they were a specialist, oh, I'm sorry, because they're a generalist, right. They, they could not tell me it was cancer, but what they could tell me was I had a large mass on the head of my pancreas.

[00:11:07] And, uh, within minutes of like taking a look at a Google search, every symptom that was out there for pancreatic cancer seemed to be the one that like, you know, it was like, I wrote it. That's kind of how it felt, you know? So the doctor gave me a couple of options, you know, he said like, look, we can admit you, we can do an MRI and get a confirmation. Um, or we can let you go. You can see your family doctor today. They'll get you the script and you'll get an MRI.

[00:11:37] I chose the latter, which was to go home. Um, and there are a lot of sick people, right? Like I felt at that point, like, look, you know, I don't want to take a bed up. I can go home, et cetera. We'll get the MRI and then, you know, see, see what would happen next. So, so that's what I did. I met with the family doctor later that day at an MRI the following evening.

[00:12:03] And then, um, yeah, I think it was like a Thursday or a Friday. A family doctor called at seven 30 in the morning. So, you know, doctor offices don't usually open to eight. So when the phone rang at seven 30, you know, I knew right then and there the news I was going to get.

[00:12:25] And, you know, I called my brother and sister and my father before after the ER trip to just tell them that. I already knew it was going to be a shock. Yeah. So I wanted to try to get ahead of it and just told them that, like, look, I don't have a confirmation yet, but it doesn't look good. But, you know, when the family doctor called that morning, you know, she had said, you have pancreatic cancer.

[00:12:52] You know, you obviously need to see some specialists. Um, you know, so that's where the journey began for me. How, what was going through your mind? I mean, how did you process this? Well, I didn't really. Time was one thing that wasn't on my side for, you know, a few reasons. The first one is that they tell you that pancreas cancer kills the majority of people in six to nine months.

[00:13:19] The second part was I had like no time to feel sorry for myself because I had to manage my kids, my wife and the rest of my family. Right. So my goal was to make sure, um, I had to just focus on like what I needed to do. That runner's mentality is amazing. Right. You break it down to like the least common denominator.

[00:13:42] Um, you know, so for me, I was focused on who's the best surgeon I can see and getting into, you know, the best oncology teams to see what options would be available for me. So that's where I quickly shifted my focus. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I know when you're, I'm not a runner, but I understand from runners that, you know, you can get in the zone.

[00:14:07] It sounds like you were in the zone, you know, with respect to your cancer treatment. It's like, okay, let's go. Yeah. You, you learn that if you're focusing on a big goal, you have to break them down in the smaller goals. So my first goal was I need an A team medical team for me that is going to be able to help me get better. And that was part of my MO the whole way along.

[00:14:32] I felt like I was interviewing the doctors to see if they were going to be good enough to work for me because I knew I was going to have to put a lot of hard work in. I expected that in return. Um, and I was also looking for somebody that believed in me. Yeah. Um, and I was fortunate enough. I found that right across the board. What made you ask your doctor for genetic testing?

[00:15:00] So I, when I talked to my father, he had said, you know, his brother asked him not to say anything, but like his niece, my cousin for my first cousin was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Wow. And she was diagnosed at stage four. Um, it took her months to get diagnosed properly where it took me basically three days, right? To get, to get diagnosed.

[00:15:29] So the first thing that went to my head was this cannot be a coincidence. So when I walked into the oncology teams, I told them, fortunately for me, the doctors really listened, right? They, they, I gave them, I opened myself up, right? Um, and I think as a patient, you have to make yourself vulnerable, right? If you want to be able to get the most help.

[00:15:58] So I had doctors that were willing to listen and I told them everything, right? And I gave them a full disclosure and just said like, I just, this can't be by coincidence. The chances are right. So, um, you know, I left that day basically telling them let's do the genetic testing right now. I don't care if the insurance company pays for it. If they don't, we can worry about it later. Like I, I need to test. So let's do it.

[00:16:25] So before we left that day, that's exactly what we did. So what did you learn through that? So I learned that I have a Tau B2 mutation. And from what I understand, like the layman's way to explain it is like, it's a cousin of the BRCA gene. Um, and that mutation makes a certain part of the population more susceptible to pancreatic cancer. Um, sometimes breast cancer. Um, and I think sometimes maybe even prostate cancer.

[00:16:55] And at the time of my, my diagnosis and treatment, they had told me that both furinox chemotherapy was a platinum based chemotherapy. It was not the standard of care at the time when I was diagnosed would be the best route. So I asked him why. And they said, well, it's a platinum based chemotherapy.

[00:17:19] And these platinum based drugs make that, you know, typically make people with that type of mutation. You know, their tumors are more susceptible. Right. Um, for successful treatment. So, uh, they warned me and they just said like, look, this is the most difficult type of treatment you're going to find in a textbook for chemo. So, it's not going to be easy.

[00:17:45] Um, but that's okay because, you know, what you'll learn in life through running and different things, right. Is that, you know, there's a pain associated with every, anything in life. And that you have to be willing to go through that pain in order to like get the right type of outcome. And for me, you know, if you're not willing to do that for like yourself, you know, at least for your wife and kids and everyone else, that's all the motivation you really need to go through it.

[00:18:14] I really want our listeners to take away that question that you asked your doctor. Why? Why? Because I think so many times we feel like doctors know best. You know, we, we get the recommendation. That's the plan. But we don't feel empowered to question, to learn, to challenge.

[00:18:42] So, I think that I'm, I'm certainly taking that away. That's a powerful question that you asked. You know, I had, I, I appreciate that, appreciate it. And what I would tell you is that, you know, I, I did consult a couple of friends that had gone through cancer journeys. Their piece of advice to me is be your own advocate. Right. So, I mentioned it earlier, which was like, I felt like I was interviewing the doctors, right. To see who was best for me.

[00:19:10] And I also believe that I wanted to make sure I felt comfortable with the plan. Because when I really thought about it at the time, I didn't think I was going to get a second chance. So, I needed to make sure I made the best decisions possible, right, for me. And there's no guarantees. There's never any guarantee.

[00:19:36] But, I could sleep better at night knowing I have the right doctors treating me. And I'm confident in the plan. So, you know, that's what I would tell other, like, patients and listeners out there is, don't be afraid to ask questions. A friend of mine told me, use one color ink for your questions. Use another color ink for your answers. That way, when you leave the office, you're certain that you got all of your questions answered.

[00:20:06] It was a great practical tip. Yeah, just in, you know, they had mentioned to me that you'd be surprised how fast the 45-minute appointment goes. And then you get home, and then you realize you had several questions that went unanswered. Yeah. So, one of those questions should be, what happens when I leave here and I have more questions? What do I do? How do I reach you?

[00:20:32] Because there are going to be things that, you know, pop in your head in the middle of the night that you didn't ask when you were in front of that doctor. And I think a lot of people would not want to take the effort to reach out and bother them with other, what they might seem to be small questions. But, you know, just encouraging our audience that it's part of what we mean by being your own advocate. It's your body.

[00:20:55] And make sure that you are, you know, asking every question and feeling satisfied with the answers that you're getting before you move on and take the next step. Yeah, absolutely. So, tell us about treatment. You know, your prelude was that it was the most kind of brutal form of chemotherapy. What did this look like for you? It was brutal.

[00:21:20] You know, I will tell you first that, you know, I thought from, you know, being alongside my mom and seeing what she went through that I knew a lot. I will tell you I was embarrassed. And I'm okay with admitting that, right? Because, like, sometimes you think you understand and know what it's like. You don't.

[00:21:45] And I think, like, that's one thing I took away from, you know, being a cancer survivor is that, you know, we can talk about it later. But I choose my words a little bit more selectively when we go through it. But chemo was tough. It was really, really difficult. You know, I was basically, you know, in the chair for six hours, left connected for 48 hours, would go back and get disconnected.

[00:22:13] And then the roller coaster down for a few days, right? Just no energy. Didn't really want to eat. All those kinds of things. But what I would tell you is, like, running helped. You know, I'd get on the bike. Sometimes during chemo and ride. You know, right away. Because the doctors felt much, much better with me about a stationary bike, like, on a trainer. Can't really fall off.

[00:22:43] They didn't want me running while I was on chemo. They don't want to keep you safe, which I certainly understand. But, you know, those first five days were really, really tough. What I tell everyone else is, like, I don't claim to be Superman, but I will use the analogy. It takes 25 minutes for Superman to turn into Clark Kent when you're connected to chemo.

[00:23:10] All of a sudden, you know, you feel those kinds of effects. And, you know, you feel very vulnerable and human, right? As you go through treatment. When you sit in a treatment center, even though everybody is different, you all share one thing, right? You're all going, you know, for the same goal.

[00:23:38] Typically, what I found was, like, the last week that, like, before the next chemo, because it was, you know, every other week, I felt pretty good. I'd go out and I'd run every single day. Um, so, you know, I, my mom went through six years of chemo. I only made it through six sessions.

[00:24:01] Um, you know, I was fortunate enough that, like, the tumor started to shrink while I was on chemo. You know, and then that's when they decided, okay, like, they always knew they wanted to do targeted radiation. That's when the plan started shifting because my body wasn't recovering. Um, you know, my platelet count was already, I found out, lower than most people. So, they had actually had to lower the platelet count for me to receive treatment.

[00:24:30] And as I started missing treatments later along, that's when they said, okay, well, look, like, if we can't get your sixth treatment in today, you're getting fitted for radiation tomorrow. And you're going to start, you know, the radiation next. Goodness. How old were your kids at this time? And what, how did you approach sharing what you were going through with them? Yeah, so my kids were six and eight at the time. So, they were young.

[00:24:59] We did not say anything until we had a game plan. Um, so once we had a game plan, I left the cancer center at that, before we left the cancer center, my wife and I sat down with a social worker. And we said, all right, we have two kids. How do we do it? What do we do? Right? Um, how much do we say? And, you know, they were very helpful.

[00:25:25] I would encourage anybody that's going through a cancer journey, whether you have kids, whether you have family, et cetera. What a great resource. Um, and they help you, like, make sure you hit on, you know, the main points, right? Especially if you have young kids. Um, and what they told us was, like, be honest, but you don't need to give them every single, every single detail. So, you know, so that's what we did.

[00:25:51] You mentioned that your dad said something to you when you were diagnosed that stayed with you. What was that? Yeah. So, it's ironic because I had to remind him of what he told me at some point because he was, you know, he got, you know, really upset, obviously. Um, you know, but, uh, he had said to me that even as a kid, I never accepted no.

[00:26:18] Um, you know, and I'm sure for my parents, it was probably infuriating as a kid being a parent, um, you know, for a child that just like doesn't want to accept no. Um, but, you know, I always looked at it and I thought to myself, well, people have been telling, you know, your whole life. How is this any different, right?

[00:26:43] And what I would come back to my father and tell him when he was upset was it's just another obstacle to overcome, right? It's no different than anything else. Just remember that, right? This is the boy who would, you know, never take no for an answer, right? So he'd laugh. Oh, I love that. Talk about your wife and how she carried this.

[00:27:11] I mean, it's so, the caregiver role is just so challenging as well, you know, you know, from your experience with your mom, especially when you have young kids, because you can't, I think as a caregiver and I was a caregiver myself, you can't show the emotion when you have young kids. You know, you can't really fall apart in front of them. So talk about your wife and how she managed the caregiver journey. Yeah.

[00:27:38] I mean, honestly, I don't really know how she did it to be, to be honest. I will tell you from my limited experience, right? And that type of a role, the most difficult part is like you have no control of what's going on. And, you know, I think what she tried to do is like make things as normal as normal can be. Right.

[00:28:04] And, you know, we spoke very openly, very honestly, very freely amongst each other. Right. And, you know, in my opinion, two are always better than one, right? When you're together. So, and I think, you know, she just, we tried to do that and, you know, we had a lot of family and friends and support. And I think that, you know, that certainly, that certainly helped, I think, along the way.

[00:28:31] But, you know, she did, I think, just an amazing job of trying to keep everything as normal as normal can be. Yeah. That's wonderful that you had wonderful friends and family surrounding you. But you've said that even with all of that, with all the love surrounding you, it was still an incredibly isolating and lonely experience. Talk a little bit about that.

[00:29:28] Yeah. I would say is like along the way, having a bigger and larger purpose, right, was super important for me. So I would tell people, not if, when I beat this cancer, right, I'm going to help make an impact for others, right? I'll be there to have conversations with others. So that way, they won't have to feel alone, right?

[00:29:54] Or they'll be able to talk to someone about what did it feel like to go through this? Or, you know, how did you handle the, you know, a specific type of situation? And sometimes, and many times, you don't have to have all the answers. It's the comfort of like knowing that somebody else really just. They get it. And understand. Yes, exactly. Yeah. Did you have anyone in your life at the time who really got it?

[00:30:23] So I had two people. So my cousin who actually was going through treatment, right? We sat actually next to each other in the chemo chair a couple of times. And I actually have a cousin that had terminal brain cancer when he was in his early 20s. And he's another miracle of science, right? Where, you know, and I remember him calling me and talking to me, you know, while he was on the road in a car.

[00:30:53] And he was saying, you know, Nick, miracles do happen. He was telling me this early on. And I started to laugh. And he said, why are you laughing? And I said, silly, I'm talking to one of them, right? Like, you know, of course I get it. And I know it. But, you know, so that part of it, I think, was, you know, it was comforting, you know, at that point to be able to have somebody like that. Absolutely. You have said that you are now the 2.0 version of yourself.

[00:31:23] What do you feel like cancer gave you that you wouldn't give back? One word. Perspective. Yeah. You know, I think in today's world, things get so busy, things can get overcomplicated. And believe it or not, I learned these lessons very early in life.

[00:31:47] I had amazing parents and track coaches and different coaches that taught the discipline, right, of like focus on the task at hand. And, you know, good faith to let go of the things that you can't control. For me, it was simple. Get to the surgical table. Because I knew if I got to the surgical table, I was going to make it.

[00:32:13] I was convinced I was going to make it if I got to that point. So for me, you know, I would tell you that today, like when I think about things, whether they be in my personal life, whether they be at work. Let's not overcomplicate things. Let's just really think about what we're actually talking about here. And we can make decisions pretty easily, right, if you break things down and not make them so complex.

[00:32:42] Yes, I know. I'm one of those who can make things more complicated than they need to be. So I know a lot of folks will appreciate hearing that today. Along the way, you found your people. So let's talk a little bit about the community that you found and have built through your cancer journey with Purple Stride and Pan Can and now Can Care. Yeah.

[00:33:11] So ironically, I was in the chemo chair my first time. And I have friends and family all over the country. So, you know, I started blogging as a way to like help people keep updated. Right. Still took all the texts and calls and all that stuff. But being a runner, the stat said, well, Nick's not going to make it six months.

[00:33:37] So I was looking for a race that would be like eight to nine months out just to say like, you know, well, here I am. You're wrong. And knowing me, like I'd probably go out and win it. Right. Because, you know, I was going to show I was going to show that that was kind of like my attitude. Great motivator. You know, I tell the folks at Pan Can this all the time. I didn't really know who they were. I just knew that it was a race. Right. Or a run.

[00:34:07] And, you know, for pancreatic cancer. So I started fundraising right that day, created a page. And I remember coming out of like the fog from my first chemo. And one of my first bosses and mentors said to me, like, hey, Nick, you probably should increase your fundraising goal. Because like, you know, I had raised over like fifteen thousand dollars in a week. Wow. And I had no idea because I was just coming out of the fog of it all.

[00:34:37] So when that had happened, Pan Can was so kind. You know, some of the folks from the Philadelphia chapter who I volunteer and work with today. You know, they had a welcome kit for me, right, for chemo patients. So they had something waiting for me there. You know, and then I started talking to the team at Pan Can.

[00:34:59] And what I will tell you was I wasn't able to run that race because I was fortunate enough to qualify for surgery. Right. And I had surgery about ten days before that race. My wife did push me in a wheelchair that day. I was the guest survivor speaker. Wow. But I did run all the following years. I just couldn't run that first year. So that's incredible.

[00:35:27] And so now you have decided to also join the cane care family. Tell us about, you know, what you're looking forward to with that. What what made you decide to become a cane care volunteer? Yeah. So I will tell you, like, the one thing I learned. One of the many things I learned from my mom was like one person can make a difference. And I think as you grow up as an adult.

[00:35:57] Maybe when you're younger, you believe that. And then somewhere along the way, many people lose faith or sight in that. That would probably tell you that I was one of those people along the way that at some point wasn't quite sure that one person could make a difference. And then I watched what my mom went through. And then I thought to myself. One person can make a difference. Right.

[00:36:25] And, you know, so for me, it's really about, you know, making sure that other cancer patients like myself don't feel alone, that they have a resource. And frankly, even if they just want somebody to talk to and listen to. And I think if you can do that for someone at the end of the day, what a gift. Right.

[00:36:50] And, you know, when I have conversations like this, I tell folks that they don't understand. They say, well, you know, you make time. You're a busy person. You make time for this. And I say, well, I make time for things that matter. Right. Number one. And this does. And I said, the second part is like you'd be surprised. Many times you feel like as a person that volunteers their time, they get so much more back in return.

[00:37:17] It's what a rewarding experience it is to volunteer and to, you know. Try to do some real good. Yes. So true. I mean, we hear that from all of our volunteers. They feel like they get so much more out of the experience.

[00:37:36] It's kind of turning pain into purpose, paying forward and providing, you know, just providing that connection where somebody can say, I have someone in my life now who understands. Yes. And that can be completely authentic with without having to protect, you know, like as you protect your family. Friends and family when you're going through a cancer.

[00:38:01] You know, sometimes you protect, you know, you protect them because you want to protect yourself from having to answer all the questions all the time. You know. Very true. So to have that safe place where you can let all the guard down, just be authentic, it gets really critical. And you're going to provide that as a care volunteer. So I just say thank you. Well, I'm looking forward to it. I'm very excited. Well, we're excited to have you.

[00:38:29] So you've said that a diagnosis is not the end. It is the beginning. Tell us what you meant by that. Number one, cancer does not define a person. Right. And for me, cancer was a journey. I actually am not the same person today that I was before. And I think that's a good thing. Right.

[00:38:57] I think I was a good person before, but I like to believe that I'm a slightly improved version today. Nick 2.0. Yeah. Yes. But what I will also tell you is that we need hope, right, for cancer patients. And I personally believe that that hope is a big part of the journey as you're going through it.

[00:39:26] And I do realize not everybody makes it. Right. And that is a difficult part. It's not easy. But it's not the end. Right. When it comes to those parts. And, you know, for me, I was very determined from the get-go that I was going to win and I was going to beat it. And I had a plan to get there. Right.

[00:39:55] So for me, it was about like managing the different parts of the journey as we went through it. So that's, you know, I guess like kind of how I looked at it. Yeah. So as we close today, what would you want to say to someone who's listening to us right now? Maybe they've just been diagnosed or on the journey. But speak directly to them. What would you want to tell them?

[00:40:20] Well, the first thing I would tell them is like, number one, you know, if you believe you're going to make it, like you have to believe you're going to make it. Right. So having that hope is super critical. You know, number two, if you have the ability to be able to surround yourself with like family and friends and loved ones, you don't have to do the journey alone.

[00:40:47] I learned that lesson along the way because I'm a doer and a fixer. And I think what I had to learn along the way is that I had to learn I needed to accept help because I was going to need it along, along the way. You know, and, you know, another part I would tell people is that if you don't believe in your medical team and it's time to get another opinion. Right.

[00:41:10] And then good doctors will even recommend people or who is a good second or third opinion. I had an oncologist along the way that would say she would tell me like, look, Nick. If I believe you're in going to be someone in someone's better care. I'll make you the appointment. Right. Like that's what we'll do. You know, and you want people to be surrounding you that believe in you. Right.

[00:41:39] Because you need the positive energy. What I would also say, like lastly, is it's OK. To have bad days. Yeah. Because you will. It's just it's just a part of life. And some days aren't going to be so great. But the beauty of it is like there's tomorrow. Right. And tomorrow can be a better day. And sometimes you just have to like flush, you know, the bad days and then look forward to moving on to the good days. Yes.

[00:42:10] Thank you, Nick. Thank you for letting us in to your story and your family. So that we can learn from your experience, be inspired by it. I know I am. And I'm so excited to welcome you into the CanCare family and just know that you are. Going to create that ripple, you know, you impact one person's life and then they they impact others. And you one person can make such a difference.

[00:42:40] And so I thank you for making the decision to do that. I'm honored and I'm so looking forward to it, Darcy. Thank you so much. And thank you all our listeners for joining us today. If you or someone you love is currently facing cancer, you don't have to walk it alone. So CanCare pairs anyone facing cancer with a trained volunteer. That could be a patient or a caregiver.

[00:43:08] You are loving someone with cancer will also support you. And that trained volunteer, like Nick will be very soon, is someone who has walked the same road. They understand. This is free one-on-one support. So please reach out to CanCare so that we can be a part of your support team. And if you are a survivor or a caregiver who wants to be that steady presence for someone else,

[00:43:36] we would love to welcome you into the CanCare volunteer family. So you can find us at CanCare.org. Until next time, remember, there is always hope in the face of cancer.