Why You Need To Stop Trying To Manifest Love

If you're still holding on to the mindset of

being some destination, you will rob yourself of ever

experiencing true intimacy because it's not a destination.

There's nowhere to get to. There's no like, oh, I just got

to get my partner and then check that box and then ooh, I can

relax. Only a kid relaxes for five minutes because she's like,

yay! I I've solved that problem. I've I've I've checked that box

off. Now I'm worthy because I have a partner and he wants to

marry me and we're good forever. Most marriages are hanging by a

thread internally because there's no devotion to self and

there's no devotion to the relationship and to growing it

and understanding it and letting it breathe and letting it grow

and letting it evolve. Most people's relationships are dead.

They're not evolving. They're not alive. They're not growing.

They're just the same, same, same, same, same, same.

Hello, my loves. Welcome back to the New Truth Podcast. Happy

Tuesday or Wednesday or Thursday or Friday or Saturday or Sunday

or Monday, whatever day it is, I could have done that in Greek.

You know, I do know my Greek days of the week. I don't know

my Swahili days of the week yet, but Swahili's on hold right now

because I'm on a world tour. But I'm so happy to be here with

you. I'm sitting in my beautiful master bedroom in a gorgeous

house in Ojai, California. Ojai is between LA and Santa Barbara,

closer to Santa Barbara in the mountains. It's so luscious, so

many trees. It's so beautiful. Cal. I forget every time I come

to California, I'm like, gosh, I forget how beautiful it is here,

and really just appreciating the beauty and and getting to see

some of my soulmate friends here and heroine sisters here, and

it's just been such a magical adventure since I last spoke to

you. But we drove up to the house today, so I'm doing a

weekend retreat in Ojai. The heroine community loves to

gather, and definitely when I'm home, I try and organize

something. I usually do these expanded love weekends where at

least like 25 or 30 women get together, but this time I

decided to do a more intimate deep dive weekend. So we're

calling it the Expansion Weekend, and I rented a

beautiful villa in Ohi, just on Airbnb. And we get here today,

and I'm like, oh my god, it feels like we're at Brandon and

Brenda Walsh's house from Beverly Hills 900 200 So if you

know, you know. If you're from my generation, if you are a

millennial elder or a Gen X, I guess I don't know who watched

Beverly Hills 9020. Millennials, probably Gen Z have not, unless

it's repeated itself. I have never seen it on Netflix, but

maybe it's on there. Yeah, Brendan and Brenda Walsh.

Actually, Shannon Doherty died last year. I think. I mean, not.

I think. I mean, I think it was last year. I know she died for

sure. And Luke Perry, two characters of the show, died in

the last few years. But, anyways, let's not get too dark.

No, that's actually light, not dark. When people die, they go

to the light side. This is the dark place. But, but what I'm

seeing on my window is super light. It's so beautiful. It's

like just this. I have this beautiful balcony off of my

bedroom and this like archway, and it's just all trees and

green. That's all I can see out the window. It's so green. Oh

hi! If you've been here, it's you know what I'm talking about.

It's so luscious. It's so green, so beautiful. And this house, it

looks like the Beverly Hills 902 and O house. Like there, it's

white with these archways, and it's got the red sort of tiled

roof. I'm not kidding. And take a picture and send it to you all

because I'm. I think this is where they filmed that TV show.

But it's so beautiful, and the heroin sisters are gathering

here in like two hours, so I'm cutting it close here. But I

wanted to record an episode for next week because I do like to

keep the cadence as as much as I can.

Whenever I have an interview and share a magical human with you,

I like to I like to weave in solo episodes in between just to

give you some space because I know that you all get so excited

with these amazing guests that I have on. I I hear so much. I

heard so much about Vanessa's episode last week. If you

haven't listened to it, I encourage you to go back. I

actually don't even remember what the title was or the topic,

but it was really amazing. And she's a magical human, and I've

heard from so many of you about that episode. So that's a really

really good one. But I like to balance it out just to space it

out because I know it can feel overwhelming hearing too many

amazing teachers at once, and then you're just like, ah, who

do I follow? Where do I go? So here we are, and I come back

again and again and anchor really the same message every

week, over and over and over again, so that you feel more and

more and more rooted in your sovereignty, in your truth, in

your heroine inside. And so, I'm just recording this episode, and

then tonight we're gathering for the expansion weekend. There is

going to be 10 of us, and we'll be gathering and doing some fun

things this evening. Just to connect, and then everyone's

coming back tomorrow for Saturday and Sunday for a

weekend deep dive, and the theme is actually purpose, which that

was the theme of my last Kenya retreat. It's kind of fun

because I used to be a business coach, and then I got into the

love realm and healing women's hearts around learning to love

themselves and create more epic love in their lives, but of

course, the more you love yourself, and the more you live

from the love that you are, and the more you treat yourself with

reverence and go like gold, and the more you give yourself

everything you've been seeking outside of yourself, the more

your purpose is naturally going to unfold. So I have a whole

episode on purpose from the beginning of the year. I love to

talk about purpose, and I, you know, I just think our purpose

is really just like being who we truly are. That's what I

believe. Our purpose is like breathing. It's like being the

essence of who you are, and being that everywhere you go.

And so, for me in my life, my purpose-I didn't plan any of

this. I've told you this before, and yet here I am. Like I was in

Paris two weeks ago, having the most amazing weekend with my

friend Laura. We had champagne, and I'm not really a drinker,

but had a couple glasses of champagne over a couple days,

which was amazing. Real champagne because you're in

France. When in France, cheese, which also don't eat a lot of

cheese. I even had bread, which then I got eczema on my face

again. So I can't. I had all the things that I don't normally

have, but it was so worth it because I'm a Taurus. I'm a

triple Taurus. My son is in Taurus, and if you know

astrology well, Tauruses love pleasure, and so the the coolest

thing. I actually was talking to a heroine that I'm working with

right now, who's from South Africa, or she's actually not

from South Africa; she's from Zimbabwe, but she lives in South

Africa. And she said to me, like, "Oh, it must have been so

nice, like, to be in Paris. And so, I don't can't remember

exactly how she phrased it. She said, "It must be so different

there from Kenya, and. and I love that. And I was thinking,

you know, so many people trap when they travel or they go

somewhere. They're they're wanting to escape where they

are, right? It's like I even have friends in Kenya who are

like, "Oh, I got to get out of here. It's like too much. My

actually, everyone that lives there has told me that that's

not from Kenya has said, "Oh, I have to leave a couple times a

year. Which maybe that's true. I don't know. I naturally leave a

lot because I travel so much for work. But I have this feeling of

when I'm in Kenya, I love Kenya.

I love everything about it. I love it's that it's wild and

free and different. I love the culture. I love the people. I

love the freedom. I love the beauty, the nature, the animals,

the wildness, the unpredictability. I love that

it's chaotic and crazy, and that they don't have such organized

systems as we do in Canada. So I really appreciate Kenya. Then I

go to Paris, and I'm like, "Oh my god, I I'm so happy to be in

Paris. But I'm not thinking, "Oh, Paris is so much better

than Kenya. I'm really glad I'm in Paris. Like, "Oh, I get a

break from Kenya. Like, it's nothing to do with Kenya. I

think this is a really important conversation. It's very relevant

to what we're talking about today. I'm not comparing it in

any way to Kenya, but I'm basking in my my joy for Paris

to the degree that I was like, oh my god, I think I need an

apartment in Paris. Like my, I think my ideal situation for now

is a home in Kenya. I would like eventually a retreat center. I'm

gonna, dear universe, we're talking about manifesting today.

Would like a retreat center in Kenya, where I can train women

in my coaching methodology and get a lot of a lot of women out

there teaching what I'm teaching. So I'd like to do

that. This is a long term vision, but I'm just sharing it

with you now. Might have shared it before. An apartment in Paris

and a a small villa in on a Greek island, maybe Paxos. So

that's my perfect trifecta. Okay, will it ever happen? I

don't know. It doesn't matter. But that I I do spend my time

between those places a lot. Paris has been a base for me

because it's a I like to stop in Europe after leaving Kenya and

before going back to Canada because it's such a long flight.

So I stopped in Paris for the weekend, and when I was in

Paris, I noticed different parts of me activated, and that's why,

like I'm in Kenya, and a certain part of me is activated, and I

feel alive, and I feel free, and I feel, you know, this this

expansive feeling. And then I go to Paris, and I feel sensual,

and I feel like I want to be a Parisian woman. I'm like, okay,

next life I'm coming back as a Parisian woman. I bottle these

skirts and dresses, and I'm like, because they're all

dressed up, and they dress. They're even wearing skirts when

they're riding bikes. Like Parisian women are so magical.

If you're a Parisian woman, please reach out to me. I'd like

to coach with you and learn how to be. Parisian woman, but there

is a Parisian woman inside of me because I um have so much Taurus

in me. So when I go to Paris, I love the feeling. I wouldn't

like a life where I'm having pleasure like that, like

champagne and cheese and bread that gives me eczema on my face,

and you know shopping all the time. I wouldn't like that all

the time. I love that I get to go there for a weekend, and you

know, on my way back to North America, and play with those

parts of me because in Kenya I'm not shopping, and I'm not

drinking alcohol really at all. I'm not eating cheese, and I'm

not eating bread, so I'm not doing any of those things.

Right, that that like tourist part, like in Kenya, it's more

the nature and the the animals and the people, and it's totally

not that, but it's something else, right? And they're

incomparable. So I don't need to throw the baby out with the

bathwater and be like, oh my god, I'm so glad I'm in Paris,

Kenya is the worst, whatever. It's just like, oh, I love

Kenya. Here's what it brings out in me. Oh, I love I love France

and Paris. Here's what it brings out of me. I love Greece. Here's

what it brings out of me. You know, I think the same is true

for people. Like we go places and they activate different

parts of ourselves. We we hang out with people and it activates

different parts of ourselves, and we constantly want to limit

ourselves. You know, especially with this topic of love.

We're just looking for one love, one grandiose, ridiculous, over

the top thing that's never gonna, you know, stop loving us

and never gonna. That's never gonna run out. And yet, you can

experience a life of love. Like I just think of all the

strangers I've met along my journey on these, on my Parisian

adventures, on my on my North American adventures, on my

Kenyan adventures, on all of the adventures I go on, my Greek

adventures, my Italian adventures, I meet so many

people. There is love everywhere. There is adventure

everywhere. There is pleasure everywhere, and yet each place,

each person, each connection will bring out and activate a

different part of ourselves if we let it, right? But most

people spend so much time in anticipation, hating where they

are, and thinking somewhere out there is better, right? So this

is why, like the conversation of manifestation, most people are

manifesting "quote unquote" from lack. They think, "Oh, my life

sucks. I'm miserable. Hate my job. I gotta go get. I gotta go

find my life's purpose. Okay, you're not gonna find anything

when you're looking from lack. Same with love. I'm in a

relationship that feels horrible. This isn't what I

want. I want this kind of man. He's going to be like that. He's

going to be like X, Y, Z. Same thing. I'm now looking for love

from lack. I feel bad about myself, and if only I had a

relationship, then I'll finally feel good. The reality is, you

won't, because I. You hear me say this every episode. Wherever

you go, there you are. Right. That's the title of a book. I

don't know who wrote it. I should probably look that up one

day. But wherever you go, there you are. You will bring all of

your stuff with you into every new love, into every new

experience. So if you're manifesting, quote unquote,

trying to control something, trying to make your life become

a certain look a certain way, based on some sense of lack

within you. Thinking your life is incomplete, you are

incomplete. You don't have everything you need inside. If

you're in that wounded part of you, nothing will ever be

enough. That part of you is insatiable, and it will never

stop seeking for something. It will seek for something else as

soon as it gets the thing you're looking for. Now it's going to

want something more, right? That's why when women get into

relationship and they find that grandiose love, or they think

they found it from the saboteur ego mind, it's the special love.

Here it is. What happens is they start to they feel super excited

in the beginning, and then as soon as their energy dips, as

soon as they start to see the patterns and feel the pain

again, they then want the next thing. That's when your saboteur

starts saying like, "Okay, we got to move in together, or "Why

isn't he? He's got to tell me he loves me. Or we've got to get

engaged. We've got to get married. Your saboteur is going

to relentlessly look for this hit of validation to to give you

something that you don't feel currently because you're trying

to get something from a place that is bottomless and empty and

feels so not good enough. That part of you feels not worthy of

love, does not feel lovable, does not feel like enough. But

she's gonna trick you into thinking, "Oh, there it is.

There, you got to get that guy. You got to get that thing. Oh,

he's got all these characteristics that you want,

so that's got to be him. And she'll want to lock it. But it's

coming from lack. So circling back to my travel journey, I

hope this all weaves together because it just kind of felt

like random. But I'm sure it it weaves together in some way.

What I've noticed, like, because people always say, like, "Oh, do

you miss Kenya? or "Oh, you excited to go home? Are you

excited to go to Greece? Are you excited to go to Vancouver? Are

you excited for Paris? And I'm like, no, I'm just where I am.

I'm, I'll be happy when I'm there. I'm sure, and that's what

I experience. So I was in Paris, loving how I was feeling, loving

the Parisians.

I even love the Parisians that people say are rude. You know

how people are like, Parisians are so snobby and rude. I love

those people. We go to this restaurant, Laura and I, and

it's tiny little hole in the wall, like absolutely super

authentically Parisian. It's all French people. Everyone's like

smoking and drinking champagne in the day and eating cheese.

and And we go. Laura goes up to the the guy, the server, and

says, "We we love a table, and he said, "Nope, there's no room.

Like he didn't, there was no lineup or anything. Yes, the

tables were all full, but he didn't say like, "Oh, it'll be

20 minutes. He said no, and he said it like quite sharply, and

we were like, "Okay. And then I was like, "There's a cute

boutique. Let's go shopping. So we go into this boutique. I find

these beautiful dresses that I'm going to wear at the immersion

next year, and put the I have I build an I'm building an

immersion closet every year. I get a couple new dresses that

are really special for when women are at the immersion. They

can I can wear them. They can wear them. We um we do a photo

shoot at the end, and everyone comes into the closet and tries

things on, and and um and so I, we were doing some immersion

shopping really early this year, and and having so much fun in

the store with the owner of the store. Everything was made in

Paris, and it was such a beautiful, fun experience. And

then we leave there so happy, and we look across the street,

and that little restaurant has way less people in it. There's a

bunch of empty tables, so I said, "Let's go again. Let's try

this again. So we go up to the guy and we're like, "We'd love a

table, and he was like, "No, not if you are just having a drink

or just snacks. You have to eat a meal. You have to. And we were

like, "Yeah, we're eating a lot of food. Don't worry, we're

we're good. And he's like, "Okay, fine. And he's like, "So

like if that lick you didn't want us there, that it would be

easy to make that story. Maybe that's true. Maybe that's not.

But it doesn't matter, right? You take the bait or you don't.

So we chose to not take the bait, and we went and we sat. He

sat us at the best table right at the front. We were so happy

to be there, and we were flirting with the bartender. We

were flirting with him, and we were playing. And by the end of

the time, by the time we left, he was like, "Oh, you girls are

so much fun, and I hope you come back. And he was so delightful.

That's inside of everyone. So, like, no matter what someone's

even like, hey, coming back to dating, even even if you're on a

date and someone seems like an asshole, or they seem guarded,

or they seem shut down, or they seem shy. There is a beautiful

soul inside of every human, and when you're willing to not take

yourself out, like I think of how many people tried to go to

that little tiny hole in the wall, and that guy said that to

them, just like he said it to us, and how many people would

just be like, "Nope, French people are rude. Let's go to the

tourist spot down the street, or let's go somewhere else. This is

ridiculous, and they would leave and be mad. And yet, no part of

us took that personally because we knew it wasn't personal. Even

if the guy judges North Americans, even if he thinks

we're, you know, or she was from, she's my friend Laura's

from the UK, but doesn't matter. Even if he had judgments towards

us, even if he didn't want us there, even if he thought we

were annoying tourists, underneath that, when we

connected from our hearts, what happened? We opened his heart.

That is possible everywhere you go. I just love that story. So,

anyways, back to the traveling.

So I'm in Paris, and I'm just there and present and having

that experience and basking in all that Paris activated for me,

and then I flew to Los Angeles and my bestie Mariana, who I've

had on the podcast many times, she's actually coming to Ojai

this weekend to to sprinkle some magic on our last day. But

Mariana picked me up at the airport, and I went and stayed

with her and her 80-five-year-old mama, Greek

mama, in her little one-bedroom condo. We stayed. I stayed with

them for a whole week, and it was so sweet and so fun and so

great to get to know her mom and her sister, and her. And I got

to see a couple heroines that live in San Diego and Newport

Beach. Actually, one of them was in Austin, not San Diego. She

happened to be in town in San Diego, so I got to have you know

connections and see them, and then we got to meet up with a

couple women that we met at Olapengi Farm who were doing the

artist program when I first went there in 2024 in Kenya, and so

all these amazing connections and amazing. Amazing experiences

happened. Our friend Sandy joined us, who's one of my

favorite humans on earth. She's so funny and so lovable, and she

flew in from I can't remember wherever she's living right now,

somewhere in the middle of the U.S. And and we had a wonderful

time with her. And then I went to Malibu and stayed with my

friend Leah, who's a spiritual teacher. I've had Leah on the

podcast a few times, Leah Brathwaite, and we had a magical

time. Me and her and her husband, and it was just magic.

Like Leah and staying with Leah and Brock and witnessing their

love and witnessing their relationship, and it was such a

powerful like people who are all sovereign, who are all present,

who are all letting life unfold. And she's, you know her business

has grown so much in the last couple years, and she's a

totally different human than when we met seven years ago, and

I'm a totally different human than when we met seven years

ago, and there's just like we're we're just sitting in this magic

together, and like how is this life now? She lives on top of a

mountain in Malibu, California. There's the most beautiful,

expansive view. She showed me Cher's house. We had so much

fun, and that was for two days. And then I got to meet a

heroine's mom. This is basically the Kate Diaries. It's not no

longer the New Truth. We should call it the Kate Diaries. I

promise I will get to the content of today, but I think

all of it's so relevant. So I went to meet a heroine's mother,

and not just mom, mom and mom and dad. They wanted to meet me

because they live near Malibu, California, and so they drove up

to meet me. And we went for lunch, and the heroine was there

as well. And Brandi, who who does logistics and and sprinkles

magic at all my events, was there too, because she's here

for the Ohi retreat, so we all had this beautiful lunch, and by

the end of the lunch, like I am reading this heroine's mom and

dad who are like 70-four and 70 or something, and I'm reading

their human design charts. They're so excited. They're both

ones retired, one's about to retire, and we're discussing

their encore careers or their encore chapters of their life,

and talking about following the magic of their souls. It was so

cool. And at the end, the heroine sister came up to me,

and she was like, "Kate, I've never seen my parents so open in

my life. Like, I don't know what just happened. But it was so

magical because, of course, she's been planting the seeds

for the last three years that she's been on this journey with

me, and then I come in and have lunch with her parents, and

they're open because there's been so many seeds planted.

They've seen the transformation in her, and now we sit down and

they're totally open and curious themselves. That's the magic of

being and living from your soul. You will change the world around

you so fast. It's unbelievable.

It's like it blows my mind still to this day. How many people

change when we change? Like we're so busy wishing everyone

else to be different, which is just a giant waste of your time.

And when you alchemize and transform what part of you is

leading your life. You will see everyone around you change and

wake up and open their hearts and live from love and live from

a different place. It's so cool. It's amazing. So, anyways,

that's been my travel journey. But I really love this idea of

like how many people just are always in anticipation, right? I

can't wait to get to Ohi. I can't wait to get to to Malibu.

I can't wait to get to Laguna. I can't wait to see Leah. I can't

wait to see Mariana. I can't wait to be in Paris. I can't

wait to can't wait. And they're always in the excitement, but

that's actually just like a tiny little hit of dopamine,

anticipating the future rather than just basking in the present

moment, because the gift is in this moment, and that's the only

way. Way that's the only place that the true gifts live is in

this moment. But most people are not in this moment. They're

either in the future moment or they're reminiscing on the past.

Right? They're like, "Oh my God, I want to go back to Malibu.

Like, what's so fun there? I want to go back to Mariana's

house in Laguna. I want to go back to Paris. I don't want to

be in America. Like it's like taking ourselves out of right

now and putting ourselves in the future or the past. You miss

everything. You miss everything. So even, gosh, even manifesting

is like if you're so busy trying to manifest the life you want,

you're missing the moment. Learn to dance with the moment. Learn

to be in the moment. Learn to bask in the pleasure of the

moment. And so, and and I will give you an update when I'm in

Vancouver. I will be shooting some episodes when I'm there.

But I, that's my next level. Let's see. You know, I don't. I

I I appreciate Vancouver, and I I look forward to seeing my

family and friends. That's the place I feel the least aligned

in historically. Not going to project that onto the future,

though. So my my practice is when I leave California on

Monday after the Ohi retreat and I go back to Vancouver for five

weeks. My practice is to be in deep appreciation for that too.

So I'll keep you posted on how that goes. But basically, it's

like, how much are you actually letting this place activate you,

right? And are you going to places and having new

experiences and meeting new people that activate you in

different ways, so you can grow, so you can deepen, so you can

awaken? So I think of like everyone's out there dating and

annoyed with dating and wishing dating was easier because

they're all dating to just try and get a boyfriend, to get a

husband, to get a result. But if you are out there dating, trying

to get something, you're not actually experiencing dating.

Dating's just connecting, and it's such a beautiful

opportunity to be activated, even if you're activated in a

painful way, even if the person sitting in front of you has

activated a little girl feeling not good enough and not

beautiful, not lovable, because this guy seemed so

disinterested, or whatever the story might be, that's medicine.

There is medicine in that moment too. There's something there for

you, right? Because it's revealing a young part of you

that's present while dating. The last thing in the world you want

to do when you're dating and cultivating a life of love is to

let the wounded little girl and your saboteur lead. So the

expanded love master clause, we went deep into that and how how

that happens. Because when your saboteur is there and you're in

your patterns, there's always a little girl underneath, and she

is the last person you want to to control your relationship and

your love life.

In fact, she's the last person you want to control any aspect

of your life because then it's going to be coming from

insecurity, which means you're going to be outsourcing your

self worth, outsourcing your self love, outsourcing your your

worthiness and your worth. But but ultimately, you can't

outsource it, so it's gonna be. She's gonna be like desperately

trying to seek more validation, and it'll never be enough. So I

actually have have come up with three. We're gonna have a

conversation now about three, the really the three reasons why

you need to stop trying to manifest love, and it's

interesting because I was at my friend Leah's house, and she

teaches manifestation. I think she teaches it really in the new

paradigm way. So I love love how she teaches it. So very aligned

with what I believe, but I think that how most people are

manifesting, and also how most people are teaching

manifestation, is. from patterns, is from control. So

the first reason why I think that, and I will give you

alternatives to the word manifesting. I actually I've had

so many epiphanies. Oh my God, we watched the Michael Jackson

movie, the latest Michael Jackson movie, his the story of

his life. If you have not seen this movie, watch it. I'm so

happy. I love that man, and I always I have a couple friends

in my life who had a personal relationship with him, and I

know a lot of the true story of his life. I and obviously take

it or leave it. You get to believe what you believe, but I

believe that he was a deeply, deeply spiritual, deeply

sensitive man, and also very innocent. And I don't believe in

any of the stuff, the tainting that's been of his name and all

the lawsuits and all that. I don't believe any of that stuff.

I believe Michael Jackson was an innocent, pure, very, very

enlightened being, and that it's all about money, and it's all

about money and control. He owns some of the biggest. I don't

need to get into the the conspiracy of it, but he owns

some of the biggest, the one of the biggest record labels in the

world, or the biggest record label in the world. The which or

what record library, whatever I don't know what it's called,

entertainment library. I don't know what it's called, but

basically Beatles, Beyonce, like some huge, huge, huge, and so

it's all about money. I believe in you know there's so much

corruption in that industry and control, and I think that yeah,

I think that it got really crazy at the end, and in that in terms

of them trying to take him down. But what I loved about that

movie is they really show his story and the story of this

beautiful boy and his nephew plays him and my God is that his

nephew is like channeling him he is so good he's so much like

Michael Jackson he moves like him he sings like him it just I

cried so many times actually watched it on the flight home

and then I I had Leah and Brock watch it with me because I just

it's incredible, and they were also deeply moved. And he's

activating his gifts, and he's just like in his light body, in

his gifts, and people are trying to smooze him and take advantage

of him and all these things. But he is so incredibly gifted, and

his gift. I okay. I just randomly went on a sidebar. I

can't even remember why I started talking about Michael

Jackson. But you know, I think if we if we correlate

manifesting purpose and manifesting love the same, it's

like his gifts. If you watch that story, like even the

perpetrator in his life, his father was incredibly

emotionally and physically abusive with him. And to try and

control him to perform, and to him and his brothers in the

Jackson Five, but it all got taken out on Michael because he

was the the lead of the group. He was the youngest, but he was

also the leader, and he was the the most talented and the most

gifted.

And so, even the antagonist of his story was still a part of

his story of awakening his gifts, so you can see, like we

all have antagonists in our stories, and the antagonists are

there for a reason. They're not there for us to then be victims

for the rest of our life of this antagonist. They're there to

help us reclaim and step into these lost parts of ourselves.

So, Michael Jackson, you know, if you watch his story, it's it

organically unfolded, right? It wasn't coming from control. It

was coming from him showing up, him shining his light, him being

in his gifts, and then it organically unfolded. So one of

the number one reasons why I see when what I just see so many

people trying to manifest love, and I personally believe it's

not your job. Like you don't have to control any part of your

life. In fact, as you know, you've heard me say this before.

But I believe that the life that is meant for you, you cannot

see. You don't know. You think you know what you want and need

in love, but you're gonna like the the the the part the next

partner that shows up in your life is going to be the exact

medicine you need, and it's not necessarily going to look how

you think it's going to look, and it's not necessarily going

to be full stop. This is the end of the story. That's like, isn't

that insane that everybody's trying to manifest quote unquote

forever love, but what if you're meant to have seven more love

stories? You know that might sound bad to your conditioned

self because you've been conditioned and programmed to

believe there's just one special love and that's all you're ever

going to need, and they're going to meet and fulfill every need

of yours, which is a pile of bullshit. But the reality is,

like, what if I think of my love trajectory? Like, Jeff was part

of my stepping into my purpose. Like, that was the point of our

relationship. We were together seven years, and we helped each

other with our businesses. And now he has not only a Michelin

restaurant, but the 30-fifth best restaurant in North

America. That's insane. A little restaurant in Vancouver called

Analina is the 30-fifth best restaurant in North America just

got voted on one of the top on one of the world leading

restaurant whatever I don't know what it's called and and I have

this and we helped each other get here we helped each other

start and we were together for the first seven years or six

years of each other's businesses because we both launched our

businesses a year in. That relationship served great

purpose. My relationship with Patricio-he opened my heart. It

was-I'd never been with a man who was so loving and so

emotionally communicative and so sweet and present. And it was

the opposite. Jeff was so busy and stressed out all the time

that he wasn't like didn't even know how to be present. He was

not emotionally attuned. Patricio was so emotionally

sensitive, almost like over the top, too much. But but what a

gift, right? They both opened my heart and changed my life in

different ways. And I'll say that again: they both changed my

life in different ways. And now I'm not with either of them. And

and so each relationship serves a purpose on our soul evolution

journey, that's the point of relationships. So, if a

relationship is meant to stop and stay a while, and you're

meant to like birth some babies together and raise some humans

together, and you're meant to co-create, you know, more or

co-create a business together, or whatever your your

relationship is meant to serve, this person comes to open your

heart, or they come to challenge you into stepping into your

power. So you, when you finally leave, they all serve a purpose.

So even if you say you want forever love, no matter what the

hell you're saying, my love, life has a better plan for you,

because life knows what you actually need, right now I'm

hearing a song. You can't always get what you want, but if you

try sometimes, you might find get what you need. You get what

you need.

Like life is going to bring you the exact medicine for that

time, for your timeline, for your soul's evolution, for where

you're at within yourself, for the lessons you need to learn.

So you're not necessarily going to get like we all just think

we're going to get some cushy relationship is going to rescue

us one day, and we're never going to feel bad again. That is

a lie, and there's so much fantasy around love. I mean,

this entire podcast is built on this. The majority of is built

on debunking fantasy love. That is not the answer. It's not

outside of you, and it's never going to be. And I will say this

10 kazillion times, and you're going to need to hear it if you

if you're if you're ever like Kate says the same thing over

and over again. It's like good. I I I have to. Why? Because if

you turn on Netflix, you're going to see the fantasy love

story over and over and over again. If you. Turn on the

radio. If you listen to music, if you, you know, read poetry.

If you know how to read a book, like everything, fantasy. Go on

social media. Fantasy love is everywhere. Oh my God, I met the

love of my life, and it was we got married, and it was the best

day of our lives. It's everywhere. Fantasy love is

everywhere, and it's like we're taught that it's a destination.

It's not a destination. A relationship is not a

destination. I've said this before. It's a living, breathing

thing. You got to care for it. You got to pay attention to it.

You got to get to know it. You got to let it unfold

organically, and and and and actually be present in yourself

and in the experience, so you can receive what the medicine of

this relationship actually is. And maybe this relationship is

only meant to be here three months. Maybe it's meant to be

here three years or 30 years or 300 years, many lifetimes. But

like you don't know, your your ego will try and tell you you

know. Your saboteur will try and tell you you know, but you

don't, and you don't need to, and that actually kind of taints

the love, like this idea that we have to know, like that takes

away the love. So, the number one reason why you need to stop

trying to manifest love is you're actually telling life

that you don't trust it, right? And when you communicate to life

and the universe, God, the divine, the divine life

orchestration that's meant for you. If you communicate to to

that source energy that you are in fear, that love is never

coming, so you're going to control it, and you're going to

make a vision board, and you're going to make it happen. You're

going 10 million dates, and you're going to manifest it.

You're going to meditate every day and picture your future love

and picture what they look like and imagine them and and you're

going to you're going to obsess over it and you're going to

until you have that thing. The universe is like, okay, you want

to control? Okay, suffer then. Have a great time suffering. You

might attract someone. You might do it. You might do a good job

doing it, but you know if you're trying to control something

that's actually not your job to control, it's you're not going

to be able to receive it. Even if you get the perfect love

you've ever received, you'll not be able to let it in. You will

sabotage it. Your saboteur will sabotage it, and or you're going

to attract something that's just from your pattern because your

pattern is the one that's leading that. That's called the

controller fantasy addict. The controller fantasy addict

archetypes and the saboteur archetypes that I taught in the

masterclass a couple weeks ago. They fricking love manifesting.

So I do think there's, and I did a manifesting episode in the

beginning of June, so you can go back to that one for more on

manifesting.

But I think that you know what I'm starting to realize 20 years

into my journey because I a lot of the times have a feeling or a

desire and then oh my god it happens so fast and I'm like

wait what like I was sitting at Leah's house and I was doing she

she leads these they're called kirtan, kirtan kriya, I think,

or kriyas. They're like these devotional singing prayers,

basically, is how I'm going to describe it. 11 minutes long,

and it's there. It's like a singing mantra prayer, and it's

it it's rooted in Kundalini yoga, I believe. And so I did

her kirtan in in I might not be saying this correctly, so if I'm

not, that's fine. Kriya, whatever it's called. I did one

of them. She does these. They're called 40 Days of Devotion. She

calls them. And I did one in April and March, and I was doing

it in Corfu, and I was like sitting there doing it on her in

her guest room with the door open, watching her teach, and

like doing it live with her a couple days ago. And it's a

different one than she did in in the spring. It's a it's a

different version. It's a really beautiful one, and so I'm

participating and listening to her teach, and then doing the

the mantra meditation with her, and I'm sitting there, and I'm

like, oh my god! When I was doing her last one, I'm in

Corfu, Greece, about to lead the immersion. I have no idea I'm

even coming to California at that point. I had no idea I was

going to see Leah, one of my best friends, and who now lives

in California. I had no idea I was going to see Mariana and

meet her family. I had no idea I was doing a heroin retreat

weekend retreat in Ojai. I had no idea I was doing a retreat

that was going to sell out in a five minutes in Egypt. In like

there was there were so many things. There are so many things

that are different now. To two months ago, like three months

ago, April. Well, I don't know what month it is. I can't keep

track. It's going so fast. But like April, I was doing her last

40 days of devotion, and I'm sitting here doing it again. And

I'm like, oh my god, I didn't even know I was coming here. How

do you know you're on the soul's path? I'm gonna say it 10

million times till I get that guy on the podcast, David J.

White. If you know him, let me know. Or anyone else that's

amazing that should be on the podcast. That's a little side

plug, but how do you know you're on your soul's path? The path

disappears. You can't see it. You cannot see it. So why in

your in in the world will we need to manifest our and even

figure out our our our desires and what we want? Like women

freak out when they start working with me. They're like,

like I don't know what I want. I don't even know who I am. I

don't even know like what I desire. And they're like so

freaked out. And I'm like, my love, who you are is inside.

It's the Wizard of Oz. The power is inside of you all along.

There's nothing you have to seek anymore. So take. take a take a

breath, feel your feet, rest in this moment, and you get to

learn now how to come back to the truth of who you are,

because it's all inside, and you don't need to freak out about

not knowing who you are or what you want or trying to figure out

your ideal relationship. If you are a single woman and you have

made a a list of your ideal man a million times, my invitation

to you is stop making that fucking list. Said with love,

you don't need a list, my love. You do not need a list. In fact,

the list is what robs you from experiencing the date and the

connection, and the natural allowing and unfolding of a

relational dynamic to bloom and blossom, whatever it's meant to

be.

If you have a list, 100% guaranteed, you show up on that

date, you get in your head, and you try and figure out if this

person it fits the measures the part or not. You are going to

rob yourself from that experience. Maybe that person's

meant to say something that profoundly changes your life.

Maybe you're meant to meet that person's brother or next door

neighbor. Maybe you're meant to introduce that person to someone

you know at work or your sister. Like you have no idea. Maybe

you're going to be business partners. Maybe you're going to

be best friends. Maybe, like there are 10 gazillion reasons

why this person is sitting in front of you. Maybe they're

meant to trigger you so you can heal a deeper layer of that

little girl inside, and you can become more open to love. You

have no idea why that person's sitting in front of you, but if

you are in your head thinking about your vision board and your

list and the perfect man that you've decided is for you, and

the relationship you've decided is for you, you're missing

everything. You're missing everything. I think like who I'm

attracted to now is like when I was making lists, they wouldn't

fit any of them, like none, nothing. But who I'm attracted

to now is like when I'm home in my heart and my soul and my

body, I fall in love with people's hearts and souls, and

it's like an energy exchange. And I don't know if it's going

to turn into something or not turn into something, but I get

to bask in this connection and this energy exchange because it

feels like alignment, and that's it. There's no story. If I

actually write down the story of the person who I'm attracted to

and everything that they are, based on our Western societal

standards of what a relationship should be, or a conscious

relationship, or blah blah blah, he wouldn't fit any of them,

right? the The men I'm attracted to in my life now don't fit any

of those standards because it's no longer about a list. It's no

longer me pre deciding who is going to be a fit for that role

because that's all ego. That's your saboteur, and your your

saboteur is just your conditioned self. It's not even

your opinion, right? You think you want a guy that's tall,

dark, and handsome, and funny, and you know holds the door and

buys you dinner like that, or has a lot of money. That is the

program right now. It's the conscious king who's like

present, and he's obsessed with you, and he pedestals. Like it's

the program; it's all programming. Because the reality

is, we don't know what's best for us. You don't. You can think

you know, but you don't. You might feel desires in your body,

and I'm not like I've created these amazing meditations where

I'm helping, and I'm working on one a one right now for future

relationships. My client that I'm sharing with my clients, I'm

building out a library of of tools and practices, including

guided meditations of awakening the heroine. And the

meditation's not at all about the man. The meditation for love

is all about how you want to feel and how you imagine you'd

feel in the most aligned relationship, and what parts of

you you step into, what parts of you you become, what parts of

you get activated inside of this love, and so knowing that and

touching those parts of you and connecting with those parts of

you, now you have something to work with. That's what you

should, and and I and you don't need to manifest it. Start to.

Cultivate those feelings, right? So let's say you imagine having

the most aligned love would have you feel more confident and more

sensual and more radiant and beautiful and powerful and and

just like sparkly and happy and alive. Okay, that's how you want

to feel. Go do things that spark and evoke those feelings,

including meditation, including movement, including taking

risks, including going on adventures, including loving,

learning how to love yourself more deeply, including becoming

your own divine love. It's like you cultivate those feelings

inside of you because they are already inside, right? Just like

Paris activates part of me, and California activates another

part. Kenya activates another part.

Now I bring that energy and I'm like, ooh, I'm so alive and

turned on and lit up from a place, from a fricking city,

from a weekend in a city, right? Cultivate, go on adventures,

start to to notice all of the things that activate those

aspects of you, not just one person. Now you show up in your

dates fully activated, already filled up in everything you want

to experience. So you need nothing. You're going to be a

lot more present on that date, right? You don't need to

manifest it. So when you're trying to manifest love, you're

telling the universe you don't trust life, right? And I'm not

saying hide in your basement and do the same thing over and over

again. Like you have to show up differently in your life to

attract different things in order to experience the life

that's meant for you. You have to learn how to say yes to your

inner guidance system and those nudges and those sparks of

inspiration and how to take risks and do things that feel

scary but exciting. Like if you're not listening to the

call, the calls, the the sparks of your soul, and you're not

following that, you're not going to attract the love that you're

meant for, right? You're not going to attract the life that

you're meant for. You're not going to attract the experiences

and the people. You're going to block it. You're going to miss

it because you're you're too busy trying to control your

life, thinking it has to look like this. I mean, God, that's

like being in California. It's such a dichotomy. It's so

beautiful here, and yet people are so far away from themselves.

It's like trippy to watch. Everyone has plastic surgery

here. Everyone is like real Botox up and real lip

injections. Like I dropped my mouth a couple times. Mariana's

like, close your mouth. You're going to see that a lot, and you

know it's just like everyone's trying to put on the show of

like, look at my husband, he's so good looking, and look at our

car, it's so fancy, and look at my face, it's perfect, it

doesn't move, and I don't age, and look at my body, it's rock

hard, and look at this, and look at that, and how are they

feeling on the inside? That's what I want to know. Maybe I'll

do a documentary about that, I guarantee none of them feel

probably they don't probably don't feel much. Actually, I'm

sure a lot of them are on antidepressants, anti-anxiety

medication, and all like just numb, numb to life because

they're so busy trying to put on the performance that we've been

taught to do. I was even thinking about how fucked up it

is that when we're children we perform like in like recitals.

It's like okay, it sounds cute, and like oh yeah, everyone, and

they get to do. I mean, maybe the Leos love it, but like you

have to perform in front of a bunch of adults, and then

they're going to tell you if you did good or not, and like

someone's going to do the best job, like dance recitals. And

there's a couple of archetypes in the or what are they called?

Astrology types that might be into that, but ultimately it's

teaching us that our it's to validate ourselves by looking

outside of ourselves, right? Same with this the whole school

system. It teaches us to perform, it teaches us to

compete, it teaches us there's a right and wrong, and there's a

there's a winner and there's a loser, right? So now your life

isn't your own. You're just comparing your life to everyone

else's and putting on a show, your soul life is unique to you,

and it looks nothing like you. Look at my soul life. When I was

in my saboteur, my life was the same as everyone else's, the

same. And now that I'm living for my heroin, my life is so

wildly different. Like I met, I went to a Pilates class the

other day. Been doing Legree too. That's really hard, but I

love it. And I went to a Pilates class, and the teacher was like,

"Oh, I love those yoga pants. I have them too. I wore them

yesterday, and everyone compliments them. And I was

like, "Oh, really? You have these?

I I actually got them sent to me in Kenya from London. And she

was like, "Oh, I said my friend's husband picked them up

for me in London because I live in Kenya and I couldn't get

Lululemon or yoga clothes. And she was like, "Oh wow, your

story is way cooler than mine. She's like, "Mine are just from

down the street, and it's just like, "But but my life is so

unique and different. Nobody has the same life as me. Nobody,

maybe. I mean, actually, that's not true. I met one guy who

swapped lives with me. He was living in Nairobi, and he moved

to Athens at the same time that I moved to Nairobi. So that was

weird, but it's very rare, right? The the the path because

it's unique because it's a soul led life, and I look at my

friends that have soul led lives. The same thing. Nobody's

life looks the same as them. Nobody looks. Same as them. No,

their fashion isn't like anyone else's. Their face isn't like

anyone else's. Their their body isn't like anyone else's. Their

story isn't like anyone else's. That's how it should be. If your

story or your face or your body is like everyone else's, your

your fashion style, then you're you're most likely in your

saboteur, right? Trying to control it. So you don't want to

communicate to life that you don't trust it, and and my love,

you can learn how to trust life. I know so many women are like,

no, life has been hard, and I don't trust it because it life

has hurt me, and you know there's so many stories, but the

reality is you've experienced exactly what you're meant to

experience, and when you learn how to take the gifts from the

experiences, and you learn how to live in harmony with your

soul and your the the internal guidance system that's inside.

That's the only thing. Your only job is to pay attention to your

inner experience and follow your inner truth in your body, not

your mind. That's your only job. The universe takes care of the

rest. Life will lead you where you're meant to go. Life will

send you the person, the people, the opportunity, the love. You

don't have to control that. Like, what a relief! What a

relief that love is going to come. Like, the more you

cultivate the love inside of you, live from love, expand into

the love that you are, build a loving relationship with that

little girl inside start to cultivate a relationship with

your soul, and they let your soul be expressed in all the

ways. Life's gonna bring you the exact thing you're meant to

experience, and it is so much better than your manifested

dream guy. I promise you. I promise you. Call me if you

don't believe me. Let's have a conversation because it is like

I have so much evidence in my own life. Every friend of mine

and all the women I work with, like just get out of your own

way. Take the oars out of the boat. Stop paddling up a stream.

Stop trying to control your life. Put the paddles inside the

boat and let the stream carry you because the stream has a

magical adventure to take you on, and I'm going to tell you

till I'm blue in the face. So the second thing I want to say

is that love. Well, I've said many things, but the second

thing I wrote down before I always like to write a few

things down just to have some banks of the river. Actually,

the paper that I wrote it down on has a quote on it that I that

I wrote down, that I said on a coaching call the other day, and

I think I'll share it with you. This is a Kate Harlow special.

It says, "My attention is not on your experience of me anymore.

My attention is on my experience. So we spend so much

time, right, trying to manifest love, trying to figure out: Do

they like me? Is it? Am I good enough? Am I lovable? Am I

beautiful enough? And trying to figure out other people's

experience of us. Are they mad at me? Are they gossiping about

me? Do they love me? Do they hate me?

That's where our attention is when we're in our saboteur and

little girl. But when you're in your heroin, your only attention

is on your inner experience. Doesn't mean you can't listen to

other people. Of course, you listen. You have connections.

You have intimacy. But ultimately, at the end of the

day, you're devoted to your own inner experience, no matter

what. So, and and when you when you cultivate that focus, when

you become diligent at focusing on your inner experience, and

that you're not willing to contort yourself in any way for

anyone, but your devotion is to your own feeling aligned. What

does alignment feel like? You say feels like grounded, feels

peaceful, calm, feels pleasurable, but like in a

really rooted way. Okay, that's what alignment feels like, and

that is your only attention. Am I out of alignment? Oh, there's

something to look at. There's something I'm believing that's

not true. Someone I'm focusing on that's not true. Someone I'm

blaming that's not true. Someone I'm, or something I'm saying or

doing, that's not in alignment with my true desires. So,

getting into alignment's your only job. And when you do, you

will get to learn that love is so much bigger than one person.

And as long as you're still believing the fan, the the age

old fantasy hasn't been here for that long though. I'm like, who

invented the fantasy love? Was it Hollywood? Was it fairy

tales? I don't know. But the age old fantasy of being rescued by

one prince, one prince is coming, and he's gonna save you,

and he's gonna make you feel so amazing all the time, and you're

gonna live happily ever after. If you're still waiting for that

one love, you are setting yourself up for never

experiencing real love because love is everywhere. Love is

everywhere. Another favorite quote from that David J. White.

I feel like I said this a couple weeks ago. Maybe I said it last

week, but he says one of the most beautiful things in the

world is the love of strangers. Like when you are in trouble and

strangers help you, or like want to, like let's say you get into

a fender bender and strangers come help you, or you're sick

somewhere. Like I think of when I was sick in Kenya, and how

many people like even I was at the, I was at the at a hospital

getting CT scan and getting ultrasounds when I had the

kidney infection when they were trying to figure it out, and I

was in so much pain. And there was this Kenyan girl sitting

next to me, and she's like, "What are you here for? And we

just started talking, and she was so loving, and she's like,

"I know you're gonna get better soon, and you know I'm just

gonna be thinking about you. And like she was in pain too, and it

was the sweetest moment. And like the love of strangers is

profound. If we're not home, we miss it, right? It's everywhere.

Like the French guy, he was so like Parisian snobby when we met

him, and he softened and opened and was the sweetest guy. So,

love is who we are, right? Little kids are love, and then

we all of a sudden like are sat in front of the TV as children,

programmed with all these messages about love being

outside of us, and then we're all confused, and then all of a

sudden we're no longer love. We're anxiety. We're depression.

We're we're rebellion. We're we're we're you know whatever.

All these we wear all these masks and these identities.

We're perfection. We're control. We're we're self sacrifice.

We're pleasers. We become all these adapted versions of

ourselves, and then we try and get love to feel better because

we're so far from who we truly are. The only reason you're

seeking love is because you're not home. When you're home, like

I've said before, like you don't need to look for it because you

feel good. I'm never like, am I gonna have a relationship ever

again? It's not even a thought ever. It's not like, am I gonna

be single forever? I'm like I'm not even single. I'm just me.

I'm not in a relationship. I'm just me. You are you.

And if you're looking for love, or you're in a relationship

wondering if it's a wrong one because you don't feel love, or

if you're married and you're thinking you need to have an

affair with your next door neighbor because you don't feel

love, you're looking for love in all the wrong places. Love is

who you are. It is the core. When we're home in that that

beautiful, exquisite place, and this is like Michael Jackson was

love. Watch that video. Watch that movie. That movie is who

that who that man boy. I said man boy, boy man. He became a

man, but also you know, still with a lot of innocence. But he

was pure love, you know, and the world around him was so tainted

and trying to taint him. But he was pure love. That's who we all

are as children. So even Donald Trump was once upon a time pure

love. We all are that at the core, and we forget who we are

because we're in fear-based adaptive strategies, being

separated from each other, from ourselves, from our brothers and

sisters, we're constantly being separated from the truth of who

we are. But the truth of who you are is love. So if you're

looking for love, my love, it's time to come home and realize

it's already there. Everything you need is inside of you.

Doesn't mean you're not going to get to experience co-creating

intimacy with other people and sharing love with other people.

It's relationships are one of the most beautiful. Me and me

and Leah and her partner Brock were husband. We were talking

about this yesterday about how relationships are the most

amazing mirrors, the most amazing opportunities to become

more of who we are if we're self-aware. But if you're not

self-aware and you don't know your patterns and you don't know

how to take responsibility and be the love and not let your

patterns lead the relationship, but learn from them when they

show up because they will, no matter how long you've been on

the journey, they will show up because love is scary. Love is

confronting when it's coming from the external to the little

girl, right? There'll be moments where the little girl gets

activated in your saboteur. But if you don't have self-awareness

and self-responsibility, you're not going to be able to receive

that love, right? So it's like such a self-filling prophecy.

Your saboteur tells you it's outside of you, but then you

won't won't even let it in. You can't even really let it in. So

love is so much bigger than you think. It's everywhere, and it's

all of who you are. And so, come home. It's time to come home. I

know I say that every week, but listen to the episodes, watch

the masterclass, join me or another mentor who can guide you

lovingly back home to the truth of who you are, and then your

life becomes like an overflow of love. There's so much love

available for you, my loves. And the last thing that I wrote down

is that if you are still holding onto the mindset, kind of said

this earlier, but I'm gonna I'm gonna say it in the way I wrote

it down. If you're still holding onto the mindset of. Of being

some destination, you will rob yourself of ever experiencing

true intimacy because it's not a destination. There's nowhere to

get to. There's no like, oh, I just got to get my partner and

then check that box and then ooh I can relax. Only a kid relaxes

for five minutes because she's like, yay! I I I've solved that

problem. I've I've I've checked that box off. Now I'm worthy

because I have a partner and he wants to marry me, and we're

good. We're good forever. Most marriages are hanging by a

thread internally because there's no devotion to self, and

there's no devotion to the relationship, and to growing it,

and understanding it, and letting it breathe, and letting

it grow, and letting it evolve. Most people's relationships are

dead. They're not evolving. They're not alive. They're not

growing. They're just the same, same, same, same, same, same.

And then, of course, the intimacy dies. The connection

dies. The projections happen.

That's another thing we were talking about: how much people

project their past self or their partner's past self onto the

present moment, and nobody gets to grow and nobody gets to be

new. This was a conversation we had at lunch yesterday with my

one of the heroines' parents. Was the fact that most people

are just seeing who people have been and holding them to that,

and seeing who we've been and holding us to that. How many

times a day do you say things like, "Oh, I'm not a person that

does that. Oh, I'm like this. Oh, I do that. I don't do that.

Oh, that's not me. Right? You're constantly putting yourself in a

cage, in a box, and not letting yourself grow and be free, and

and and be new, right? And if you're not letting yourself be

new every day, you're certainly not letting your partner. I

think like how much I've changed. If you go back and

listen to the podcast at the beginning to now, you will hear

that I'm a totally different woman with a totally different

life. Even my teaching's different. How I teach is

different. the The overall structure are the same, but it's

different. It's coming from a deeper place within me, and I'm

sure that will only continue to happen. And the way I express it

changes, right? I'm now doing retreats all over the world, and

I'm doing this, and I'm doing that. Like everything evolves

because I am actively in relationship with all parts of

myself. The little girl's not leading. My soul is always

growing and expanding and evolving, and when the little

girl's there, I tend to her. Your soul should be too. So if

your life looks exactly the same as it did five years ago,

exactly the same, chances are you're not letting your soul

lead. You're in the script. You're in the story. You're in

the narrative of who you've been, and then you're probably

in a whole lot of relationships where you're keeping everyone

else to the same narrative too, but the cool thing is when you

go on the journey of letting your heroine lead and letting

the universe lead and letting the the the soul lead and

letting your life magically and divinely unfold and you know

letting life surprise you. Oh my God, your life will look so

different than you could ever fathom, and it's more like I

just think of like the type of love that you're going to end up

attracting, and you're you're going to look back and be like,

"Oh my God, Kate was right. It looks nothing like I thought it

would, and it's so much better than I could ever imagine

because it's not going to look how your saboteur thinks it's

going to look. So stop trying to manifest it, stop trying to

control it. And lately, I've really been thinking. You know,

when I have those, I think I started to say this earlier, but

I got sidetracked. And I have those feelings, like premonition

feelings, or I have the I have the feeling like, oh, I I desire

this, and then it happens, you know, a day later, a week later,

whatever. And it's like, oh my god, the veil is so thin, and

everyone's saying people are manifesting really quickly right

now, but I actually don't believe it's manifesting. I

think when we're in our soul, I don't think we need to manifest.

We don't need to control anything. I think what's

actually happening when we're living from the soul is that

we're feeling the premonition of what's coming and what's meant

for us. So I think I created that thing, but actually I just

felt that thing coming. That's what I think. So I don't know.

It's up for a debate. You can totally disagree. Take it or

leave it. As always, this is the take it or leave it channel. I

support you to to follow your truth and do what feels right.

But you don't need to control your life, my loves. Your

purpose is not out there. Your man is not out there. Yourself

finding who you are is not out there. None of it's out there.

It's all inside. So take your attention off of everyone else

and bring your attention fully on your own inner experience and

cultivate a relationship to what lights you up.

And notice when you feel scared and say yes anyways and follow

those expansive nudges of what lights you up, and you will see

that life is taking you on a magical treasure hunt to

experience the life that was designed perfectly for your

soul. No one else's soul. It shouldn't look like anyone

else's. If you're like life looks like everyone else's,

you're in the script. I'm sorry to say. If your face looks like

everyone else, your clothes. Look like everyone else. Your

life looks like everyone else. There's a conditioned part of

you leading your your life shouldn't look like anyone

else's, and it should feed your soul. People look at my life and

they're like, "Ew, I don't want to live in Africa. I don't want

to live all over the world. I don't want to, you know, have

live from a suitcase and have a laptop life and whatever. Like

some people would look at my life. I have a friend from high

school who told me that she was like, "Your life looks like hell

to me, and I'm like, "Yeah, and yours looks like hell to me,

because we're not supposed to desire the same thing. We're

unique souls, and your life is so unique, and you can only

experience it when life surprises you, and you follow

those nudges, and you listen to your body knows, and your noes

and your yeses are often not going to make sense to your

logical mind. So stop listening to the logical mind, even if you

just tried this for a month. Stop listening to the logical

mind. Like if something's a no and it makes no sense, follow

it. If something says yes and it's terrifying, follow it. Keep

following it, and then let me know what happens a month from

now or six months from now. Because you don't have to know.

That's the beauty of life: is the mystery and the magic in the

unseen world. And we can't see like the divine matrix that is

leading us. Our angels are guides. We can't see them.

That's the beauty. And then yet we have these moments constantly

where we're like, "Oh my God, that's so crazy! I can't believe

I had that thought, and I saw that person, and I thought that

thing, and then that thing came true. And like, because the more

we tune in to our soul, the more we're gonna feel what we're

gonna feel the resonance of what's coming. So that's it.

Stop trying to manifest. Stop trying to control your life. You

don't have to control anything, my love. Just get into the front

seat of your car and start letting your soul lead. I love

you. You're amazing as always. Spread this episode with every

or share this. Spread this message. Share this episode with

every woman you know who needs to hear it. And man, I had a

call with an amazing man the other day. That was fun. So I

know there's men listening too, and so spread it with every

person, human soul that you know would resonate with this episode

or could use this message. And I love you lots, and I'll see you

soon.