The #1 Thing Women Are Addicted to That Keeps Them Struggling with Vanessa Petronelli

If we're going to build this new Earth and there's a new trajectory for

humanity, it is certainly going to come from the changing of the tides,

because our society keeps us so locked

in the fear and in the struggle and in the survival.

The key to the evolution for all of us as

individuals and for the collective is going to come from being able

to work with our nervous systems and to be able to

feel safe and to feel the joy and to

feel the pleasure and to feel the fulfillment, the peace, the

love, not only of ourselves, but it will ripple out toward

others. The nervous system. If it's been in so much survival

and struggle and trauma and pain for, you

know, maybe decades, you know, a lifetime, it's not easy

to access that. And so is it an addiction that we are

consciously choosing? Probably not

in most cases. Right. But it's become an identity

that we believe is our authentic self. And it's not.

Hello, beautiful. Welcome to the New

Truth podcast. And welcome back, Vanessa.

Thank you. It's so good to be back here. Can't believe it's been a year.

I know. We're just like before we hit record. Okay.

Vanessa was on the podcast one year ago, and you were

on the podcast with Jeffrey back the beginning

2020 or 2021. 2021. Yeah. I think it was one

year in, because I think it was around Christmas. And so Vanessa and her

partner Jeffrey were on the podcast in 2021 when Katherine and I did the

podcast together. And then I had this hit a year ago.

I. I always. We. We follow each other on social. And it's so wild because

we haven't actually spent any time together outside of these

conversations. And yet I feel like I know you deeply. I feel like

there's like a such a soul resonance. And I follow

your journey on social media and I just, like, I. I

just had this hit reach out to Vanessa. And then last year we had an

episode, the beginning of June, called when, you know, it's time to burn it all

down, or something along those lines. Yes, yes.

And so many women reach out to me after that episode. So if you have

not heard that episode and there is zero to time in your life, which I

think is also so relevant still, this energy. And we'll bring. We'll weave it into

this conversation too. But you know that we

are at a time astrologically where shit's changing, the world is

changing, the old systems are crumbling, everything's changing,

and you cannot deny it. People are

needing more meaning and purpose. And, you

know, following the script isn't working anymore for so many

people, and people are awakening and all the. It's just

a powerful time. And so we had that conversation.

I heard from so many women in my community that were so

moved by that. Know some are working with you now, doing

equine horse transformational magic with you in. In

Nashville. Nashville, right. That's where you live, right? Yes,

yes. I'm coming to visit one day. And.

Yeah. And like. And then I just had the hit again. I was like,

it's been a year, and it's not. I have had many women on the podcast

a few times, but not so close together. Typically. I just had

this hit. Like, I feel like I meant to have Vanessa on again, and I

didn't even know what was happening in your world, but I just had this hit

again. So following the hit. Welcome back. I love it.

I'm so honored to be back. What? That conversation was

so incredibly potent for me too, and

I heard from quite a few people saying it really helped them

to put language to what they were experiencing or what they've

been going through. So I love it. I'm so happy to be here with you.

And I also think, like, you know, giving women permission,

not that we need permission, but, like, you know, part of us does. The part

that's, like, so attached to, like, doing the right thing or not, like,

to just burn it all fucking down, then that. That's okay. And that's. That that's

actually a gift. And one of my favorite things about that conversation,

so obviously, if you haven't heard it, go back. But one of my favorite things

about that conversation was how you shared all the iterations of you

and how you have been so many women, different, beautiful women in

your life doing so many really amazing things. Thank you.

And you keep allowing yourself to evolve.

Yeah. I feel honestly like my soul gives me

no choice. Yeah. Yeah, me too. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah,

yeah. We're not in charge. Hey, here we go again. It's like there's a

constant flow of evolution like this, the

spiral. Right. You know, it's just. It's just. It just keeps

evolving, and I just keep growing, and I can't stay

in one place for too long. And it's not coming from my mind

saying, oh, oh, we need to be, you know, on the

train of evolution all the time. I need to be growing. It's

so much deeper than that. So I appreciate your reflection on that

so much, because when I do look back at my life, I'm like,

wow, I have had so many iterations. It feels like I've lived 10

lives in one lifetime. Really. I, I'm, I'm not even kidding.

I, I, I feel that way a lot too. And, and I don't think a

lot of people know, you know, who I

am in that sense and what I mean by who I am,

the journey I've been on. So being on your, on your show and being

able to share that and talk about this publicly, you know, in

platforms like yours, is so wonderful because,

you know, people only see who you are now, but they don't know

how you got there. Right. And we can fill in the gaps if we don't

actually know the truth. Exactly. And also even a

beautiful reflection for you to be able to remember and be like, oh,

yeah, I was that actress in Hollywood, and then I was that, like,

channeler that was channeling aliens. And then I was that, you know,

medicine woman, healer that was doing business stuff. Were you working with business

owners at some point? Yeah, I wanted to work with you. I remember you were

doing that, and I was like, damn, I gotta work with Vanessa. And now

you're like a horse whisperer. And, oh, my God, it's like,

it's just, it blows my mind too. And I'm like, wow. And there's

just so many interesting changes that

have happened, you know, over the last, especially with my work

in the last 17 years. But I think I may have said this last year.

The heart of all of it is, has always been the same, which is helping

people to really connect to their most authentic,

true self. Like, before the programming, before

the conditioning, before the trauma, before the wounding, before the

world told them what, who they needed to be. And so

no matter the expression of that, right. It's like, that

is the heart and soul of everything that I've

done and continue to do. Oh, and the. How freaking beautiful

is that? I just got goosebumps. And this is why we're so aligned. And both

look at both of us, and our lives are always changing. Like, okay, we're catching

up before. And you're like, wait, you live in Africa now? And I'm like, oh,

yeah, Last time we talked, I didn't live in Africa. Like, how crazy. And I

feel like I spoke to you a month ago. Like, it's so. Time is

such a warp. It's a time warp.

But obviously that's why our souls are so aligned. But. And it's

also so beautiful that, like, the through line. Because the through line is your

soul. So of course that part's Going to be the same. And then you have

all these different expressions of your soul. That's. The people are like,

what's my purpose? Well, if you're not living from your soul, like, you're not going

to find your purpose from your head. It is the through line is your soul.

And as long as you're living from it, like you and I, life will lead

you to all the different expressions and iterations of the soul.

Yes, precisely. I love that. And I see that in you so,

so much so. It's. Yeah, I love that. There's so much resonance

around that. You and I are on the exact same page. One day we'll be

together in real life. Oh, I forgot to tell you. I was like, hey, you

guys should come hang out at my cottage and come to Kenya when I'm away.

And then we'll have. I had thought that before, but we can chat more about

that later. But, you know, all the horses here and the magical

other amazing animals here. Yeah,

yeah. So that's to come, but let's get into the topic. So

the number one thing, and it's not separate, of course, from our last

conversation, but maybe a deepening. The number one thing that women are

addicted to, that really, that causes them struggle and strife and chaos

and pain and living this painful

life. Let's talk about that. What do you see happening out there

in your medicine work? Yeah, I mean, I definitely

am seeing the burning it all to the ground, but I

also see the addiction to the story of

being in pain and to who

the woman has been. You know, the story to what's

not working, to the problem, to the

struggle, the survival. There's really.

Identities have just become so

deeply embedded almost on a cellular level. For a

lot of the people who step in to work with me, where it's

a rehatching of so much of the pain, pain,

body, the. The old. And

I'm not seeing a lot of women giving themselves the

permission or the ability, right, to. To be in this

fullness of who they are as a feminine woman, you

know, being in the embodiment of pleasure and joy and

fulfillment and the rebirth, if you will. And I

think the kind of recognition,

right, of what am I addicted to in terms of my

own suffering? We have to become aware of that in

order to change that. And I think a big part of the work that I

do on a very deep level, on a somatic, subconscious

and spiritual level, I mean, those are the three levels I work with and work

within is really being able to identify that

and Admit that, because we can't get out of that until we've actually

come into the integration of why our bodies, our

minds, our energy, our. Our. Our

subconscious is so addicted to that. And a lot of it

lives in the nervous system, of course, too. Right. So, you

know, I think that this is personally

what I believe. If we're going to build this new Earth and there's a new

trajectory for humanity, it is certainly going to come from the

changing of the tides around this, because our society keeps us

so locked in the fear and in the

struggle and in the survival. And I remember years

ago when I was channeling, I don't know if I mentioned this

in our last conversation together, but

it had come through that the key to the evolution

for all of us as individuals and for the collective is going to

come from being able to work with our nervous systems

and to be able to feel safe and to feel the

joy and to feel the pleasure and to feel the

fulfillment, the peace, the love, not only of ourselves,

but it will ripple out toward others and the nervous system.

If it's been in so much survival and struggle and

trauma and pain for, you know, maybe

decades, you know, a lifetime, it's not easy to access

that. And so is it an addiction that we are consciously

choosing? Probably not in most cases.

Right. But it's become an identity that we believe

is our authentic self. And it's not. It's. It is our

false self. It's part of the. The pain body. So

that's kind of my thought on that in, in terms of what we're talking about

as you're describing, the pleasure and the joy and the

peace and all that. I'm just like, that's because that's innately who we are.

Because I just spent the last two and a half days with a two

and a half year old. I meant to say a two and a half year

old, but. But it was two and a half days. And she's like my friend's

daughter. Feels like my little soulmate, like a niece. She

calls me Uncle Sparkles, not auntie. She calls most girls

boys. And like he. She uses he. And I'm Uncle Sparkle,

so she's the best. I hope she calls me that when she's 16. Her name's

S.K. she's such a magical being. And,

you know, she was actually like, quite resistant to me the first couple times we

met because I stayed with them and she wasn't used to that. And she's used

to having all her mama's attention and her mom was talking to me and so

she was like, kind of like mean to me. And I was like, what the

heck? Kids usually love me. Like, why is she so mean? And then she

stayed at my cottage and now there's this like deep bond and love

and it's so sweet. Like she'll miss me and be like, mommy, I miss Uncle

Sparkle's call. Uncle Sparkle. But

you know, being with her and witnessing our natural

state is like. I mean, last night before dinner, she's like, no talking, Uncle

Sparkles. Dance, dance only. No, I'm leading. And then we were having a dance party

and it was just like, she's like, I'm watching her just like, pleasure, pleasure,

pleasure, pleasure. And then tantrum feel fully. And then pleasure,

pleasure, pleasure. Like it's all about and it's present and

it's connected and it's peaceful and it's like. And. But like when the feeling

body arises, she moves through it. And this is our natural

state. And the dysregulated nervous system and the addiction to the pain body, like you

said, is the conditioning. And is that, think about it. You

turn on any source of anything and everything's dramatic. Every movie's dramatic,

every love song's dramatic, every media, every news is dramatic, the

Instagram's dramatic. Everything is dramatic. Women bond

over gossiping and taking an issue and making

it way bigger because they're getting off in that moment on

the drama. And so, yeah, I think, isn't it interesting? I always hear

women say, like, oh, no, I love the light, I'm afraid of the dark. It's

like, no, you're not. Like, most of us are just like, until you really get

to know your own soul and start to lean into learning how to live from

this innate state that we're talking about. Most, most women

are addicted to their pain. And, and, and it's a self

fulfilling prophecy. Yes, it really is

absolutely spot on. And that childlike innocence is,

that is a huge key, I think,

that we miss, we forget, we

disconnect from. So when you see children

and we're an adult, it's, you know, the tendency is to think, oh, it must

be so nice to be in that childlike awe and enchantment of life.

But it's also available for us too. We just have to learn how to

come back into that, to tune back into that, to work with the

parts and the little girls that live inside of us. I mean, a good portion

of the work that I'm doing is helping the men and women who

come to work with Me to connect to that divinely

innocent, pure part of themselves and to go

back and re parent and have the opportunity to

hear, to acknowledge, to witness, to see

that part of themselves that kind of got stuck in that

moment when they felt like somebody didn't love them or they were

rejected or got abandoned or didn't feel like they were enough and

start to reprogram that part of themselves. Because it's not, not

about getting rid of the dark. Right. It's not about getting

rid of the pain body and bypassing and saying,

oh, well, I'm not going to be, you know, talking about my pain anymore. It's,

it's deeper than that. Right? Like it's, it's not an emotional

and spiritual bypassing. And I'm a firm believer

this is twofold. We can go into the dark, especially on

these, you know, transformational healing journeys. And

we can get very used to always wanting to stay there. Yeah, well,

that's what happens in a lot of therapy. Not to like, it's a

part of the process, stage one. It's so important. And of course, there's therapists that

do many other things too. But, but a lot of people get stuck.

Like I'll work with women who've worked for 20 years with a therapist or a

couple therapists, and they're still like, oh, yeah, that's my attachment style. Oh, that's my

anxiousness. Oh, that's my that. And it's like, wait, you don't learn the things to

stay in them. You learn them to then learn how to reparent yourself through them

so that then you can evolve your soul and live from your soul. But so

many people just get then addicted to the story of the trauma. So at first

it's like, I don't know what I don't know, then I know what I didn't

know. But now I'm addicted to where it's almost like a badge

of honor. Not that we're doing it on purpose. This isn't, none of this is

about blaming anyone. It's like we don't know what we don't know, but often then

get, get hooked into that, like being a victim

of the story. Well, now you're still powerless if you're a victim of the story

now. Exactly. And so I think

that's why we can stay stuck there. And then we think that's who we

are. When I believe the deeper

we go into that darkness or into the pain,

we also have to guide ourselves to the light.

It's like an oscillation or a titration. It's like, okay,

I've gone this deep now. What does it look like

for me to change the story, to change the beliefs, to

create a new version or identity of myself? That. It's

like, I can see that that's been part of my journey, that that

was something I needed to experience on a human

level, on a soul level. Now, when I really tune

into that, am I. Is that really who I am? Or is there actually

more that I have to lean into from that side of the

light where I get to sit in the pleasure, where I get to actually

allow my soul to be more childlike, where I get to

be more, and I get to feel the joy and the

contentment and the beauty of my life. And I have

to tell you, something so profound happened in the last

week with my horse, Gabriel, because I

love hearing about Gabriel. Thank you. I can talk about

him for an hour. Oh, my God. I love the post you did. This is

Jackie Jade with Arrow, the horseshoes.

You'll hear all about Arrow. But this I love.

I love that post you just did where you're like, see me and my husband

do go on dates. Gabriel's not the only man.

I'm like, I do have a life outside of Gabriel and the horses. You know

what. What I love about my. My mustang Gabriel, for

those of you who you know, have not heard about him or don't follow me

at this point on social media, he's my rescue

mustang that I've had for over a year. Horse, Not a car. A horse,

yes. Not a car. He's. He's a mustang horse. He was once wild and now

he's domesticated with me. He's my partner in all the work that I

do, along with some of the other members of the herd that are where

he's boarded. And Gabriel is just

such a pre. I mean, all the horses are. But he's just such

an angelic, precise teacher. And he's very much

about allowing me and the people

that come to work with him to be able to feel the pain body and

to be able to release it. But he is the

archetype of the inner child. So when a lot of

my clients come to work with me, we will see the

different archetypes or representations of people in their lives

through the horses and what they're mirroring. And majority

of the time, overwhelmingly, most people

see Gabriel as the divine, innocent child

that lives within them. And so he's always telling

me, like, last week, he said, you need to step into My world. His

world, meaning my pasture, the forest, the trees.

And he's like, don't touch. No, don't kiss. Which is like, you know,

something that he knows we love to do. We love to cuddle.

He gets tons of kisses from me. He's a very affectionate horse. But

I could feel from his energy that he was like,

this is for you to feel the beauty

and to come back into my environment and to allow yourself to take

everything in that I get to see every single day that I get to live

in. And as I stopped with him and I was breathing and I

was just present, I took in all of the

trees, I took in the sounds of the birds. Started to get

louder as they were singing, you know, watching the

squirrels, you know, dancing. Like, how many times do we do that?

And I felt this. It sounds so simple and so

cliche, but it's like a return to who

I actually am. And that's what he said. He's like, when you're

out there in your world, you're not present. You know, you're. You're.

You're focusing on all the things that you have to do, where you need

to be. Even when you take me out into the other pasture where you

groom me, and we do training and we do activities together, he's like, I

enjoy that, but this is what I really enjoy, is when we're

being together and our hearts are synced up and

you get to take in everything that I live in every day. And

he's like, the more you do this, the more your mind

and body will heal, the more you will feel the joy,

and the more that that life is just. It's just gonna

keep being miraculous in that sense. It's just gonna keep being

joyful. And so because I do animal communicate,

the things he's told me, especially in the last several months,

have been so prophetic and so spot

on. I believe him and I trust his wisdom and

his guidance. And so I went on a forest walk with him a few days

ago, and I felt a very clear energy again. This is not

about kissing. This is about you coming and seeing. He

goes to this one spot, and he stands sentinel there, meaning it's like he's

on the lookout, and he looks out into the forest beyond his pasture.

He's like, I just want you to stand here with me and have our hearts

connected. And I just want you to breathe. And there

is an absolute shift in how I feel about

myself and clarity when I leave. And I've received

his medicine and his wisdom so that's why I also

feel like this work with the horses and nature

in a container like that is so powerful because it is returning us to

the remembrance of the most true part of ourselves, which

is not being in pain. And the horses are present.

So it's like, right, They're a healthy, regulated horse. It's like,

I'm content, I'm not in pain. I'm

enjoying the ability to graze and be with my friends

and to be able to move my body and to be here with you.

And as simple as that sounds, I think we're missing that. And I think

that. And they're so sensitive to people's energy too, right? Like

they're mirroring. So it's like the equine part is like they are

mirroring exactly what's happening. And I just want to

speak to something. I think that, you know,

if for anyone listening, that is like, what do you mean you talk to him?

Like, we all have the ability to

connect and download messages from nature, from the divine, from

animals, and in some way they might be clairaudient,

clairsentient, clairvoyant, Claire, whatever, when you're home

and present. I remember when I studied coaching 20 years

ago, one of my teachers, I think, I think the book

was connected. He made us. Made us. One of the books he wanted us to

read was called Let yout Life Speak by Parker Palmer. It's this

really small book, but it was about letting life speak to you. And

we had to go sit leaning against trees and then just sit there

in meditation. And I wasn't a meditator at the time. And we had

to just like write whatever came through and channel what the tree had to

share with you. And you had to get a message from a tree. And I

remember at the time, my saboteur, ego, mind

conditioned mind was like, this is stupid. This is. What do you mean? It's not

the tree talking, it's. I'm making it up, blah, blah, blah. And yet

the more spaciousness we create, like, I've accessed my own channel in

so many ways. I even talked to spirits now. And like, there's so many ways.

The deeper I. The deeper you go, the deeper you go, more access you have.

So I just wanted to speak to that part for anyone who's new. Like, what

do you mean you talk to aliens and horses?

Oh, my gosh. It's true. I appreciate you bringing that back up because

it is animistic communication. So it is the most

primal language that we have that's pre verbal

and animals, plants, the natural world all

resonate in that frequency and that energy. And so we all have the

ability to go back there. Um, I mean, I've been alert.

Nature. Yeah, yeah, exactly,

totally. We just, We've been conditioned out of it. Um,

I've also, you know, been very tapped into my intuition since I was

a little girl. So I was hearing and feeling and seeing and knowing things

from a young age. So it's a very developed muscle

for me. That doesn't mean I don't have my days where I feel

more blocked or, you know, I'm in my head. I have a very

strong mind. So for me, the development has been in the

spaciousness and creating that and deepening my connection to

that and trusting what I'm receiving and, and, and,

and, and owning it, really being in the ownership of that. And I think that's

also the, the piece. It's like owning who we are comes from

creating this new story and identity outside of the pain. Because

my pain body would have said the same thing. Like, this is

crazy. How do you know that he's talking to you?

You're a fraud. You don't know what you're. You don't know what you're hearing.

You're just making this up in your head. And I'm like, like now, because

I know who I am. It's like, absolutely not. I'm trusting

the wisdom I'm receiving, and I'm owning that I have the ability

to connect with that, you know, and there's joy in that for me, because

every animal and part of nature is alive and it's

communicating with us. We just have to be willing to hear that and

listen to that, just like we have to be willing to hear and listen

to the little girl that lives inside of us, to the

parts that need to feel integrated, to be

understood, to maybe even retire from some of the roles they've taken

on to protect us and manage us throughout the times, you know,

in courses of our lives. Just like we need to listen to the soul.

And it. Whether it's with a horse or your own soul,

it comes from space, presence and really

having conscientious effort into. I'm ready to connect

with that part of myself. I'm ready to connect with something beyond

my story of pain and struggle and survival. Yes. And that

this is so important. And I'm going to tie back Jackie Jade. She's. She gets

shout out on the podcast a lot. Jackie Jade again, because she was just on.

She was just on in the beginning of June Sharing her story. If you haven't

heard that episode, it's so good about her transformation of being on the journey of

starting to awaken to her soul and how, like,

our second time working together, she was just like, I don't know why, Kate, but

I keep having this, like, curiosity about horses. And I'm like, follow that.

So that's what it. The soul calls are like. They often don't make

sense to your mind. She'd never done anything with horses before. It was

not on her radar. All of a sudden, she's messaging me. She's like, I've never

felt more love in my life. And she's just, like, short circuiting, like, so

expanded, like, and she's like, this is so aligned with everything you teach. And, like,

she was just, like, totally losing her mind in the best way possible.

Losing her mind in the best way possible. Right? And, like,

awakening another layer of her soul that she didn't know was there. And it's, like,

so connected. Her future. I know it. Like, who knows what

that looks like? But it's so connected. And. And it's

like, that is so coming back to. Okay, so the women are addicted to the

pain. And so in order to live from our pleasure body, it is to follow

those whispers or those sparks of the soul, those curiosities, and

know your mind is going to tell you, oh, that's stupid. Oh, no, you could

never do that. Oh, that's ridiculous. Like, and it's like, do it anyways,

because that. That's how you. That's literally the antidote.

It absolutely is. I mean, I never would have had so many iterations,

even just the one with bringing horses in to work with me as my

partners and nature, had I not listened

to that, you know, So I can relate to what Jackie Jade is also saying,

you know, in terms of, you know, I have this. This feeling that I need

to be around horses. It's like that was coming over me for

years, this feeling of being with animals and having these

visions of this beautiful piece of land at some point on my

journey where I can have people retreating there and, like, a

sanctuary for animals, but also for humans to heal. And

it seemed crazy because I wasn't doing any of that. I was

in. In California and I was working with people in

Hollywood and working with entrepreneurs and leaders, and I was like,

I've never picked up horse poop. I've gone on trail rides.

I've had lessons, but this. I'm not a farmer. I'm not. I don't know how

to work the land. And I could have easily,

completely talked myself out of that over and over

and over again. But I've learned that listening to the

little breadcrumbs that, you know, I refer to the divine as God.

It's interchangeable, right? Like God giving me all these little

breadcrumbs. I've learned to trust that, and I've learned to listen to the

pings inside my body and my soul. And that's

what's allowed me to have these reinventions,

if you will. Because I think we have to also be

willing to reinvent and have the rebirth. Like, when we talk

about, I want my rebirth, I want to feel like a different person. Well,

the rebirth comes after you've gone through the

burning it all down. But you also have to allow that,

because you can stop your rebirth from really

happening, from that blossoming if you continue

to refer back to who you've been.

Because that's what you're used to. That's what you have evidence of.

So you have to create new evidence of. Okay, what does it

look like in my. This new season of my life to trust

the divine, to listen to my soul, to follow

some of those pings, Even if my mind, the false self, the ego,

is saying, no, you're stupid for doing this. This is. It's

like part of the work. A lot of the times is also between our

ears. And I think a lot of people, when they're healing, tend to

think, oh, I'm gonna. I'm gonna do all this clearing and healing and

remove these beliefs, and then they're just gonna be gone. And it's like, no,

you know, you have to work on this every day

and observe the thoughts and feel the emotions

that come up and be able to get into your body and

connect somatically and, you know, be in your

nervous system learning to regulate that. And it's. It's an

ongoing practice. But the biggest thing I find, for most people, it's the

unsexiest part of transformational work, in my opinion. I don't know if you

feel the same way. Kate, is disciplining ourselves and how we are

talking to ourselves and what we're believing about ourselves and

the stories we're telling every single day.

When we get that ping, when. And we either follow it, even

if our mind is seeing otherwise or we don't, and we believe

that story in our head, you know, so it's a

real refinement. I find that piece in the work. Absolutely. And it's,

like, always refining and noticing what part of you is leading? And

that part, yeah, like you said, it's always going to be there. It certainly gets

quieter in my experience. My saboteur was an asshole. I

named okay my work. I think you know this from last time. My client's name.

They're both their saboteur and their heroine who they're becoming. Their soul self and

their. Which superhuman self and their saboteurs so they can start to

externalize it. And mine's named Regina because she used to be such

an asshole to me. I just taught a three day masterclass and I was talking

about like describing who I used to be, which is like wild.

I thought I was stupid. I thought I wasn't good in anything. I compared myself

to every woman. Every woman was so beautiful. I was ugly. I was bad. I

was like. It was non stop. She was so abusive

and mean. And now she's like, like she'll show up and be like,

I'll be like, you know, starting to write my book. You're not a writer. It's

like subtle. You know, it's not. But. But I'm so. I have such a relationship

with her now. I'm like sweet, cute. I know I'm about to expand and you're.

And, and you're here to protect me. It's not actual protection when you're an adult

because you're a sovereign being now. You have choice. As a child, you don't have

choice. So it is protection. So it's like that

practice of, of being able to see so clearly. And because

it is not you. So whether you give it a name or not, it's not

who you are. It's someone else's voice and it's many people's voice, but it's

not your voice. Like we believe the narrator of our story is,

is, is us. But that is not your soul.

Is the, the feeling in your body. It's like the yeses and no's are so

clear. And also this is something really cool that I've noticed from the

immersion is that when women are talk humans but I

obviously I work with women. When women are talking about a

truth like oh, and then it was just like it was such a note. They

point to their bodies and when they're talking about a resistant

pattern, they're like, oh, that's a no for me. That's just like really not for

me. They point outwards, they put their hands outside. So

when it's a saboteur resistance, a fear of moving into

the next iteration of self or Crossing through the threshold of something that's

scary, the hands go outside. But when it's a

truth, it's the body. And so like, and it's so clear, the yeses and no's.

So to be able to start to, to separate and

mentoring is essential. Like, that's why, you know, we exist and

we have, like, you can't. I mean, you can listen to podcasts all day

long and read books, but if you have not walked with a mentor, and there's

many, but if you've not walked with a mentor that your heart and soul

feels called to, to walk with, like, we

cannot move through these blind spots and learn how to regulate ourselves. It's just

not possible to do it on your own. I

1000% agree on that. I mean, I know you and

I have been so devoted to our own personal journeys, and

there's no way that I would be where I am today if it wasn't for

all the incredible people who have professionally

supported me. I'm not just talking in my business. I'm talking on a personal and

spiritual level. The therapists, the coaches, the

mentors, the guides, the healers, you know, it's.

It is because of the support and being able to receive that and allow that.

And also, like, I find for a lot of people,

especially strong women, because I work with, you know, just like you, so

many strong, independent women. You know, there's a self

reliance program that runs and operates of

feeling like, I need to do this all on my own. I need to be

able to figure this out. You know, I don't deserve to be able to invest

in that. Like, oh, I should just be able to read a book and I

should be a changed person. It's like part of the

embodying of a new version of ourselves is knowing that we're not meant to

do this life alone, right? We're meant to be able to

expand our ability to receive love and support,

especially women, because women are such givers,

just naturally nurturers. And we're there for everyone

else before we're there often for ourselves.

And so the type of level of work that you and I do,

because I also, I'm really clear too, because it can. Sometimes I'll

have people reaching out and they'll be like, oh, you know, I want to come

and, you know, work with the horses. And it's like, well, it's

not just about working with the horses. You're actually working with me. My

horses are the partners, but without me

and the methodologies and the experience and

what I bring to the table in this, the integration of like

20 years of embodied. Thank you. Yeah. It's like you

can just go out and hang with a horse and have a beautiful experience,

but you're not actually going to have the specificity of what exactly it

is. Is going on inside of you. The guidance, the support around that.

It's different, you know, so, yeah, I'm. I'm with you in the

mentorship has been a game changer for me and still is to

this day with what I call my, you know, team of support, my

spiritual success team, you know, and it's

fundamental in order to, I believe, rebirth into something

new, especially because the work that we have to do right now as

human beings is not a simple mindset shift. No. And

women need community. Yes, community.

We need to have reflection. We need to be offered the ability to walk with

somebody who has done the deeper work, you know, and

be able to feel safe in that space with somebody

who's guiding you to the most vulnerable,

intricate, nuanced parts of protection and

control and pain and

survival, you know, to be able to see those parts because

it's very hard to see them in yourselves even. I don't know if you feel

the same way, but I will take myself sometimes through the processes that I do

with my somatic therapist, and it's

very hard sometimes to get the crystal clear

guidance and even the connection to those parts, because

the deeper we go, we start to have. Things are not

as obvious. It's very nuanced, it's very clever

in terms of the way those parts, especially the exiled parts

show up, you know, so you need the care, you need the

reflection, you need the space to be able to.

To rebirth, to be able to shift into this new version

of you, which is really about coming back to your most authentic self.

Yeah. And the loving mirror. I actually have someone who's been supporting me since the

beginning of my business, and she just reflected something to me last week, and I

was like, oh, my God, that was such a blind spot. Like, it.

So it's like the me we need. We need people who are,

who are. And not just the mentor, but I think of my community of

women. Like, when women come into the community, they hold the mirror for each other

and, like, to be able to honestly, honestly reflect. And I also, like,

when you were talking, I was thinking the resistance a lot of women have is.

And even I think of, like, because in Kenya, they're quite behind on, like,

personal development and therapy and coaching. It's still Taboo here. Even in

Greece, it was still like, just up and coming, but still kind of taboo.

And the reason it's taboo is because people don't want to admit

they're broken. But you're not broken. It's a part of you that's wounded.

There's also this soul part that we're talking about, the. That like, you

learn to love those wounded parts so that you can actually let

the soul lead. But so many people think,

like, once I enter into actually going into my inner

world, then I'm gonna, like, it's gonna reinforce the feeling that there's something

wrong with me. Because most women are sitting inside of themselves, listening to

all these ridiculous critical voices inside, thinking it's

them and thinking it's only them. And then looking around, this used to be me.

Like, I was an asshole to myself. And I'm looking around thinking every other woman

had it together. They're. They were smart, they were successful, they were beautiful, they loved

themselves. And I hated myself. And I thought I was alone in that. I never

told anyone how I felt. Everyone. I was just happy, fake

happy to everyone. People pleaser. And I didn't ever

share that because I thought that I was actually alone. And I think

that's the power of group work. And I've been seeing you do a lot of

group stuff with the horses lately. And women gathering. We've been

gathering for centuries. Women thrive in community. We're all. That's the matriarchs

and that's. It's all about community. Collect, collective. And

just like the gift of being able to sit in a room full of women.

And even the women who you project are perfect and don't

have all the bullshit going on inside do. Because we've

all, once upon a time, been these pure little beings who were put into a

system that told them who to be and filled them with fear. And we're still

being riddled with fear every day. We talked about that before we hit record. Like

all of these systems that keep reinforcing the addiction to the

pain body, keeping us in fear. Everyone's got that

running on the INS side. Yeah. Yeah, everybody. I've never met

one person in the 17 years of doing this work that doesn't

have that. And it doesn't matter how you look, how much money is in a

bank account, what your job title is, or how great your

business is, it's fundamentally a core part of

the human condition. And we're being asked to evolve beyond

that and to integrate that, to become whole from that.

And I love this piece around community because, yes, I've been doing a lot of

women's circles with horses events, and I have a women's retreat coming up in

October and. Tell us about that. I will. Yeah, I

would love to. It's just so beautiful to

see when these women arrive as strangers. You know,

we're together for three hours, three and a half hours, and

they leave, and there's like a sisterhood that's created in just such a short

amount of time. Right. Like, they see

themselves and other women. And I've done big retreats, long week long

retreats, four day retreats, you know, weekend retreats.

And yes, when you're with people a little bit longer in terms of time and

space, you know, that naturally that connection starts to form.

But I didn't think that I would see that in a few hours. And it's

been incredible. I know that there's been friendships that have been formed, and women

are also able to see. Like, I'm not on my own island

suffering with these things. There's other women who

are walking this too. And there's a possibility, an

opportunity for me to shift this. Now, whether a woman

goes and takes that and that opportunity to shift that, to

work on herself on a deeper level or not, I mean, that's

their choice. But it's beautiful to see what happens when we do

gather. So I feel the same way as you. These circles have

completely lit up my heart and my soul, and that's why I continue

to do them, because I'm bringing people together who

normally would never be together, and having them experience not

only the work with me and the horses, but also to be connected to

each other. Yes. And this. So our souls as women

are starving for soul connection with women.

Because most women, as we said in the beginning, are bonding through drama,

gossip, victim mentality, blame,

judgment, complaining, and like, oh, tell me about

your. Yeah, he's an asshole. Like, that's how most women bond.

And yet our souls are starving for something else. So that's why

you can create. I mean, I saw it in my masterclass, two hours each morning

on Zoom. And these women were so connected to each other at the end. And

it was mostly just me talking and them sitting there on Zoom. And then on

the last day, everyone opened up and they're all like, oh, I want to connect.

I want to connect. It's like on Zoom with. And it was me teaching most

of the time. It wasn't even, like, interactive. Like, we're starving for it. Our

souls are, like, so Hungry for deeper, more meaningful connection.

I think one of the mistakes we do is we try and get that from

men. And so then we try and turn men into women in our romantic

relationships and want to get it all in one place, but actually we need it

for. We get other things from men which are so beautiful. But, like, when we

can be filled first by our sisterhood, there's

nothing like it, Nothing so beautiful. And it's

so fulfilling when we're able to show up with our sisters in

that way. I am absolutely with you. It's very healing,

and it heals the feminine wounding around the

mother and around early sisterhood,

betrayal and hurt and pain. And

so when you step into a space where you're able to put

some of that down and look at it and actually experience something

new, that sisterhood doesn't have to be like the

way your mother treated you or the way other women in your life

treated you. You know, it's so beautiful. I mean,

I've gone through that myself because I've done a lot of women's work over

the years. Whether it's been me being part of a

sisterhood and receiving that in circle and in women's

spaces, or me offering that,

it's really quite potent. And you can't

get that just scrolling through social media,

watching someone's posts. You have to experience it

and live it and be in it. And so these are

the keys to.

Okay, so the antidote, the keys to breaking free from the

addiction, to the pain and letting pleasure in is like, this is such an important

one, I think. Sisterhood, I feel like. And how

cool that, like, when you're in your soul, your souls talk. Like,

how you and I are so connected and we're so similar and we don't

know each other on a human level. Like, we're not, like, in each other's lives

day to day, but we. From the first time I met you, I

felt such a soul resonance with you. And then it was just years of just,

like, witnessing you from afar. And then that call to have you on

and that call to have you on again. And I have no doubt will be

in Kenya one day together. Nashville maybe, too, but it's just.

It's soul resonance. So when you live, the more you feed your soul, like we

talked about, the sparks to the soul and feed our soul, the more we

magnetize women who were resonant with. So even, like, if.

If a woman's, you know, in Nashville wants to do one of your women's circles

or wants to come There for your retreat because she feels sparked by you

in this conversation. That's soul resonance. And then you. That will

lead you to this place where there will be other women you resonate with because

you followed that soul resonance. And that's how. That's how

that path you cannot see. One of my favorite quotes I say at every

episode is, how do you know you're on your soul's path? Well, the path disappears

and it reveals itself one moment at a time. And life

is like bringing you what your soul is meant to experience from

that place of resonance. We then magnetize who and what

and where we're meant to experience these

deeper parts of ourselves. Yeah. Yes.

I mean, I couldn't have said it better myself. Girl, that was

spot on. Yes. So tell us about your retreat. Tell us about your

retreat. Yeah, thanks. Thanks. So I work. I have private

retreats that I offer. So those are two day retreats here in

Nashville with the horses and me. And we're almost full for this year,

so only have some spots in November, December now we're booking into 2027.

But we have this amazing retreat. Yeah. Thank you. I. I love,

I love the retreats. I love everything I offer with the H.

And you know, and I do work virtually and have a hybrid option. But

Held is the retreat that we're talking about. It's for four women only.

It's October 24th and 25th. And who it's really

for, it's for the woman who's crossing this threshold. She's in

midlife. She gives so, so much

to everything and everyone in her life. And, you know, it's her

time to be seen, it's her time to be held, it's her time to

be nurtured. It's the woman, you know, who has such a. A

full schedule that imagining taking two days off, she's like,

I don't know if I can do that. You know, maybe it's somebody's birthday or

it's, you know, a family outing. And it's like she knows

that she needs something beyond what she's been giving and what she's

been doing. And it's time for her to have two days. It's

not a 10 day retreat. It's not two weeks. It's not a week

like mine. Right. It's like a weekend of

being immersed in this deep work to help you to become your more

alive, you know, fulfilled self where you can

start to step into the joy. Because I see it in

the private retreats and I see it in the Circles, and they're like

12, you know, 13, 14 women in those circles. So I wanted

to create something very intimate for four women to come together

where they have more attention on them, more time with the horses, more time

together, more time to slow down. So. So it's incredible what

happens in just two days. And, you know, it includes a

little pre call and an integration call with the group afterwards

so that everybody who steps in and says yes to giving

themselves this gift of being there and being a part of this

retreat feels held when they leave the space, too.

So I'm just so, so excited about this. It was a

complete, divine download for me several months ago, and.

And I'm really excited to see the women who step

in, who know that their soul's resonance is meant to be

there. So as you were talking, I'm like, all four

of them are coming from the New Truth. I felt that so deeply, and I

see the power in. Because, yeah, I. I

do really long ones with women. And I actually have a woman I'm working with

right now who's like, her daughter's too young. She can't leave, go to Greece for

a week. It's not possible. And I'm just like, oh, the power

of that. It's in North America. So, you know, obviously there's lots of women

on the podcast that are in North America. Not all, of course. You're all over

the world. But, like, for those who are in North America, it's easy.

A weekend is. Even if you have little ones. Like, for

you, the gift of that. I mean, God, I work with so

many mamas. And the gift for your kids and your family and your

spouse, if you have one, or your partner or your. Yourself,

of course, is the biggest gift. But literally, it feeds your job, everything.

The saboteur will be like, oh, I can't take time away from this, from that,

from that. Literally, the investment in that is investing

in every facet of your life because

you're healing and you're learning how to be with yourself. And I just think, like,

what a gift to be able to spend two days with you and with

horses and in nature and with such an intimate group and go so deep.

Because with that small of a group, I know from facilitating that you can go

really deep with that small of a group. And you bring

so many layers. Like you. I mean, you are a

medicine woman. And you. I just think of

all the people out there coaching and teaching who've been doing it for five minutes

or for five years. Like, you have been so Embodied

in living from your soul and not riding the waves of all the.

The stuff that arises and doing. The deeper layers of healing, like

the integrated embodied teachers are the most profound

transformations of all. So if anyone listening, I mean,

whoever feels compelled, like, and. And I love that there's the option to do

it private too. If women just want to go really deep and have it be

all about them, how amazing. This

is so cool that you're doing this. I'm like, I want to do this. I

would love for you to do. I receive

every part of that reflection. I receive everything you shared

and just. I take that in very deeply. And you can

acknowledge and see that because that is also who you are as a

facilitator, as a medicine woman as well. So

you are such an embodied, beautiful woman, and I

feel you and see you also living and leading

from your soul. And that's what we need in this world. We

need more people living from soul versus their head

in order to cross the threshold of what we've been going through

collectively for thousands of years. There's a real

opportunity here, and it starts with us as

individuals and it starts with us as teachers, living in the

integrity of that and being able to have that ripple effect

on others around us, giving them permission. So it's

so interwoven and so interconnected, and it's all about this

resonance. Resonance piece that you have mentioned several times.

And so I can. It's like in my head, I was like, what you see

in me is in you, right? And vice versa. It's just

so beautiful to be in this shared space with

you too. Kate. You are a remarkable human, and

I'm so in awe of just how you have just led your

life. You know, being so willing to trust and live

globally and do the things you do and bring all these amazing

women into your community to support them and guide

them into living from their soul's highest expression and deepest

expression. So, ah, it's just so good. I love this.

This is like. I feel like what's happening right now in this moment is we're

modeling the. The. The new paradigm of sisterhood and how. How

healing it is. Because most women are competing and comparing and judging and

feeling small when someone's bright and. And, you know,

and how we both get to shine and like, I'm sensing my clients to women

who've worked with me. I'm like, now go with Vanessa. Like, how. Like that.

It's like to be able. I don't know if you can hear the African bird.

I couldn't I can hear her. He's agreeing, she's

agreeing. She's probably a woman. But it's like, this is the new paradigm.

It feels like she went, yes. The new

paradigm is like, together we rise, Together we thrive like we

need all of us when we're in our souls, living from the truth of who

we are and no longer our small selves. We remind each other through

our frequency. We guide each other, we celebrate the crap out of each other. We

share, like Catherine and I. That was one of my favorite things about this podcast

together. Never once was it, like, competition. We. She had a ton

of women go to her work. I had a ton of women come to mind.

And it was never like, oh, no, she's getting more than me. Or like, oh,

I feel threatened because they're choosing her over me. No, those

who are resonant with Katherine's soul were drawn to her. Some have done both.

Those resonant with mine come to me. Like, it's like, that's

all you need to know is like your body is your instrument. Whatever

resonance resonates in your body. That's how you know what direction to go. Whether

it's a. A teacher or a book or a,

A, A place in the world you want to visit, or like, if you feel

the spark and the resonance, your soul. Dance class, choir, what?

Doesn't matter what it is. It's like horses follow

those soul resonances. So

this has been such a powerful conversation. We, We. We gotta wrap

up now, but tell me, like, final words. So we're moving women away

from pain body into, like, really being able to live and

receive pleasure and receive a life that feels

good. What. What is your final, like,

final wish, final statement, final inspiration for them?

Yeah. What's coming through as you have asked, that is.

Is because I'm imagining that there might be some women who

are like, oh, that sounds great, and I like that. And then maybe it's

possible for someone else. I feel emotional even just

saying this, so I must be saying this to somebody who's listening

as a final word. It's possible for you too,

and it's not some far off

fantasy. It's not for the woman to your

left or the right or your neighbor or your mother. It's.

It's available for you too, and I want you to know that and remember

that. Especially when your mind is saying, it's not possible.

That just made me cry. And. Yeah, I feel it too. Yeah,

I felt that so deep. And it's like, stop believing your mind because it's not

yours. It's conditioning. And everyone's minds are so boring and they all say the

same thing. That's the irony is you come to the immersion or retreat like ours,

and everyone speaks and you're like, oh, wait, all of our conditioning minds

are the same. Saying the same shit, the same limitations, the same

bullshit stories. You're not enough. Everyone else is. You suck. You're the way. They're all

the same. So stop believing your mind and just follow those sparks of your

soul. So if you feel resonant with Vanessa, definitely follow

her on Instagram. We'll link everything below. Vanessa

Petronelli on Instagram. Yeah. Yes, it's pretty much Vanessa Petronelli on

every platform except for TikTok, but I can give that to you. Yeah,

we'll put it all below. We'll put links to the retreats, we'll put your website,

we'll put everything that you need to know. But

definitely follow her. Connect with her. Reach out to her. You love to hear from

people, like, even if they don't work with you. But they don't even work with

me. I love hearing from people how this episode landed for you. So please

reach out, say hello, and thank you, Kate, for

giving us the opportunity again to have such a potent,

beautiful conversation and for celebrating

me as I'm celebrating you and all the incredible

success you've had with the work that you're doing in the world. You are a

good, great human. Great human, great

soul. And I appreciate all the support for all

the work that I do, too. And I hope you know I feel the same

way about you. Love you, my darling. And

you, too. And I'm so grateful for these soul alliances

where it's like, when you're in your soul, you don't even have to know someone

because what does that even mean? Like, soul

alignment. And you're amazing, and I'm so

happy to share you with the community. And maybe

it's going to be an annual thing every, you know, spring, summer

transition. Like, we get on and we fricking go,

and we have lots to say and lots to share. So thank you for sharing

your magic and medicine today and so much more to come. Follow

Vanessa. You'll get lots more magic. And I also want to

reiterate the somatic, subconscious and spiritual. I wrote that down. Those are the three

keys. You said, the somatic, subconscious and spiritual. Those are

the three realms that you help women transform. Oh, the birds are going crazy.

Can you. It's dark, too. I guess they get

louder usually my windows are closed. So, anyways.

All right, my loves. So, as always, share this episode with every woman you know

who needs to hear this message and needs a little spark from her soul. Or

a big spark. Thank you again, Vanessa, and

we'll see you soon. Bye.