Money Series with Marla Mattenson Part 3: How To Truly Live A Wealthy Abundant Life

Take yourself on a date, like the version of

you that is already living this incredibly fulfilled,

pleasurable, delightful, truly wealthy and abundant life. Take

yourself on a date. It can be anywhere. It doesn't have to

involve money, even, but you you could go to the Ritz-Carlton

Hotel and have a tea, you can have a picnic in your living

room, whatever you want to do, take yourself on a date, that

version of you, and interview her. Ask her what her life is

like and use journaling, speak it into a an audio message for

yourself, and really be creative. Let your Just ask,

like, what do you do all day? What do you Who you hang out

with? Who are your friends? What's your style like? What are

your bank accounts like? What, you know, really get into it,

and allow yourself to imagine the most fulfilling life you

possibly could. And then that's a map for you.

Hello, beautiful. Welcome back to the New Truth

Podcast. Marla Mattenson, three in a row. This is the first time

in history We are making that we've had three in a row. We're

making history.

We're making it.

And, I was telling some of my clients that last

week, they were raving about the the first episode with you, and

I was like, Oh my god, wait till the second one. That was also

the first time in history that I've taken notes. I think I told

you that at the end. I took notes the whole time. Like I was

just like a good little student. It was I couldn't stop taking

notes, and I reflected on them several times and had many

conversations that were sparked from the episode and just have

been hearing from everyone. And it's it's these are the

juiciest, most important conversations, and I'm so

grateful to be doing this with you.

I'm so happy to be here. Yeah, I'm curious.

What's one of the things from the last episode that you've

been musing on?

Okay, one, I'll tell a funny story. My parents,

they don't quite get it, but I think I plant a lot of seeds for

them. And then, like a year later, I my mom last night was

defending astrology to someone. Like I was reading my brother's

astrology, and his his girlfriend said was like, So

what exactly is this? She didn't I don't think she knows much

about astrology. And my mom was like, Oh, astrology is an

ancient science, you know. She's like, It's actually scientific.

And I'm like, oh my gosh, I I probably told her that a couple

years ago, and now she's believing in it. So they're

always listening. But I was walking with them maybe the day

after our conversation last week, and I said, Oh, Marla said

the coolest thing about AI. And I I paraphrased, I think I said

it my own way, but that AI is here to replace, I said mundane

jobs, but like to to replace the repetitive things so that humans

can be living from the expression of their soul and

actually in creativity and expression. And my and they were

both silent. My dad's often silent. My mom was silent and

and I could tell there was like some resistance. So I was like,

Hello? Does anyone have an opinion? She's like, I don't

know, I think that's a very blanket statement. And I was

like, Well, I don't. And I just shared my perspective, and I'm

sure a couple years from now she'll be like, So, AI. I'm sure

she'll be telling her friends in no time. So that was one of my

favorite moments.

I love it. Yeah, we there were some really

great nuggets. I listened to it again this morning, so that was

that was really fun.

Yeah, and then the second one was the big one that

I messaged you about. So actually I think we should start

here. So today we're going to talk about how to live a truly

wealthy and abundant life, and I think the conversation around

complaining is, and not just complaining about prices and and

money and how expensive things are, but like complaining in all

regards. So maybe we can start unpacking that one further. But

I had a I was explaining that one to a friend, and then I

messaged you after and was like, Wait, what do we do? Like what's

the antidote? Because the brain, and I'm noticing my brain, like,

Oh my gosh, that avocado's $9. Like the audacity! No way, you

know, that's so expensive. I did it today. I was in a store my

next to my coffee shop, waiting for my workout class. I can't

remember what the thing was, but there was something I really

liked, and oh, it was a hair scrunchie, and then it was a

really thin one though, and was super cute. And then I was like,

oh, that's $9. That's so expensive. And like, and then I

went to class, and I was like, Oh, damn it! I did it again. So,

what do we do? How do we counter? Because I think it's

just like in the water we swim in. Also, I want to reference

that song that I told you about. I'm sure lots of people

listening know the Baz Luhrmann song. If you don't, the

sunscreen song from the late 90s, but he talks about it's

just spoken word over music. Everybody's free is the song.

It's beautiful music in the background, and he says prices

will rise, politicians will philander, and you too will get

old. And this is and when you were and when you're there,

you'll look back. And think prices were reasonable,

politicians were noble, and you you looked fabulous or whatever.

You you'll realize it all in in retrospect. You'll appreciate

what was, and or you'll fantasize perhaps about what was

because probably you didn't feel that way at the time. So,

anyways, would love to start there, complaining like, what do

we do? How do we get out of it?

I love it. We're just diving right into the

deep end. Let's go. Juicy complaining. So complaining for

complaining's sake is an amplifier of negativity and

fear. Okay, so to complain just to complain is a not a

productive use of our language, of our energy, of our time.

However, I will say that complaining actually serves a

purpose when you pay attention to it. So, like you became more

aware of even little mini complaints after our

conversation, and you're a really aware person, and so to

have even more awareness around that. Oh, that's also

complaining, right? That level of awareness allows us to use

complaining for a productive purpose, okay, and so this is

why I mentioned it. I think in both of the podcasts we did, but

I'll be a little more explicit about it now. That when we have

the courage, it really takes courage and the desire to live a

truly wealthy and abundant life. That means that everything that

is not in alignment with us living that truly wealthy and

abundant life will show itself. And those are the seeds that, if

we continue to water and nurture the complaining seeds, those

things grow. And when we go, Ah, I see. I found one of those

seeds that will turn into a weed that will turn into something

that's going to take nutrients away from what I actually want

to grow, that's where the courage comes in. So, when we

find ourselves complaining—and by the way, when I first started

doing this, I caught myself hundreds of times a day, okay?—

and complaining, for me, came in the form of judgment, judging

myself and judging others. And so, I started a practice where I

would say, I forgive myself for judgment. Okay, cause judgment

was the thing that came up for me. So, if complaining is your

thing, you can say, I forgive myself for complaining, and then

capture the complaints. So, take a note in your phone, put

complaints, put the date at the top, the time that you notice

the complaining, and then just write down what the complaint

is. A $9 avocado, how outrageous! Okay? And then, just

in your mind, bless it and put your phone away. Okay, and then

the next time, gas prices, the date, the time, Oh, can you

believe how much they're charging for gas these days?

Write it down.

It's Donald Trump's fault. That's what my parents

say. Okay,

great. Date, time, It's Donald Trump's fault.

Okay? And then go. Then, you you go back when you're in good

vibes, when you're when you're feeling fine, when you're like,

You know what? I I am meant for a truly wealthy and abundant

life, and I know that in my bones. That's the time where

you're on a high, and you're feeling good, and so you want to

go spelunking into the darkness intentionally. And spelunking is

like cave diving, okay? And so what you do is you anchor to

your good vibes, and you say, I'm going in intentionally into

the darkness to take a look around, to shine the flashlight

around in my dark cave, and I'm going to do it by looking at the

note in my phone that I've been writing my complaints down, and

I'm going to start looking for patterns. I'm going to start

looking for what have I been saying? And what does it feel

like to say those things? And who actually is saying those

things? Are those my thoughts? Are those the thoughts of the

people around me? Are those the thoughts of my family? Are those

the thoughts of my community? Are those the collective

thoughts? Whose thoughts are they, even? And when you do

that, and I've done this many times, you will find, oh, I've

written that more than once. When you really do it, you want

to get at least 10 complaints down, 10 judgments, 10 ways

you're making people wrong. Whatever your fear-based

thoughts are or your stress thoughts, how am I gonna find

love? How am I gonna make my business work? Where are the

clients coming from? How can I stay at this job longer? I'm

dying. There's no good men

left on planet Earth. Right? There's

no good men left, right? Whatever your

special flavor is of complaints and wrong-making and judgment

and fears and stress, you capture at least 10 of those in

your phone, and you'll start to notice patterns. If you do more

than that, you will become a rock star at this, and you'll be

able to teach it to others, also, because you will have your

own personal experience of excavating, we call it

spelunking, within your own internal world. And when you

start to notice these patterns, I'll tell you, one of the

patterns that kept coming up for me over and over and over was

this pattern of feeling like I'm doing it alone, and it's all

falling apart. Okay, so over and over and over, I would write

down, it's all falling apart. I don't know what I'm doing. I

don't know what I'm doing, and it's all falling apart. And

where is everybody who can help me? You know, like I just felt

alone. And those are the times where we feel separated from

Source. We feel in our small self, and we're doing it alone.

We're not living the life of surrender that we want to be

living. And trust that it's all actually unfolding in

perfection. And so, when I started to realize that, when I

was going on a down, I would have those thoughts. And when I

was on my up, when I was a little more like, Oh, all is

well, things are flowing, etc. What were the thoughts I would

have? It's all coming together. On the up, it's all coming

together. It's all working out. On the down, it's all falling

apart. It's all going to hell. Okay? Then I started to realize,

oh, both of those things are happening at the same time. The

only thing that matters is where I place my attention. It's

always, always coming together, and it's always, always falling

away. Things are always falling away, things are always coming

together. It's an ongoing process. We're always calling in

the new, we're always releasing the old. And so when you find

yourself stuck in one pattern of judgment, wrong-making,

complaining, ask yourself, What's the exact opposite of

that thought, and can I hold both with equal value and equal

weight? So if the avocado is $9 and how ridiculous that is, can

I also say, Actually, that's a completely reasonable rate for

an avocado, and believe it?

That's a highly valuable fruit that seems like a

vegetable, but they call it a fruit. Right, because it has a

pit.

Yeah, that is the cutest hair tie I've ever seen.

I'm going to go back and get it tomorrow. Yes. Yeah. Okay, you

know what? This is wild. So at the beginning of our

conversation, well, before we hit record, I was telling you

about my my anniversary present to my parents. I've been helping

them go through their storage unit because they have many

boxes. They love organizing, and they love like getting rid of

stuff, and they have so many boxes in their storage unit full

of my shit, like memorabilia, trophies, like trophies—I never

got a trophy for being really good at anything, by the way,

but I have lots of trophies. Good try. And so I told them I

would get rid of everything, or like go through it. And and I

don't feel attached at all to my journals, and actually, as I was

going through them, I have 10 million journals. I'm like I

don't even remember writing this much, but I have so many

journals from the last 20 years. And I went through them all and

was ripping them up and putting them in the recycling. And I

couldn't believe like I didn't read every page by any means,

but if a page would stand out, I'd stop and read it. And

exactly what you're saying was my journal. I would be like, and

it was I captured a lot of the beginning of this business,

which was 10 years ago. Right as I was transitioning my last

couple years with Callen and Justin, I would write like, Oh

my God, I'm so tired. I can't do this anymore. Like I'm so

grateful for this experience, but like I feel dead inside, and

these events don't excite me anymore. And like I don't want

to do this. Please God, help. Angels, can you please send me

like my purpose? What am I meant to do next? Like help. And then

it would be like, Oh, I'm so appreciative and grateful, and

like oh, I love this, and it was like they were so polarized. And

I was And then when I started my business, I was so anxious, and

I was like, What if What if no one comes to my retreat? Like

what if no one signs up? I feel so alone, and I feel scared, and

I'm a fraud. What am I doing? And then the opposite, like, Oh,

I'm so ready to call in the sisterhood of women and

community and help women be in community, empowering each other

and rising together. And And And so all the things, you know, and

I talked about living abroad, I talked about like everything

that is my life, having a pleasurable life. I just said,

Universe, like just show me the way. I want to feel on purpose.

I want to live a life that feels pleasurable. I don't want to be

in North America. Like everything I wrote is my life

now, but it was both sides. It was always both sides. It was,

and so, exactly what you're saying.

It's so It's so helpful. So what you're talking

about is the power of reflection, and when we have the

courage to go back and look at some of what we've written in

the past, we start to notice, oh, the seeds of what I was

complaining about back then were the doorways for me to open to

what I'm doing now. And so the idea is, okay, can I acknowledge

that even every step along the journey, it's not like you

arrive and that's it. We're always arriving, never arrived,

is what Julian likes to say, okay? Always arriving, never

arrived. That means there's always more to grow, and do, and

experience, etc., right? So, when we have the courage to

reflect and really look deeply, like take your journals on a

date, you know, take this note in your phone on a date

somewhere and really excavate and ask yourself, How are these

complaints guiding me into my next evolution? What is this

telling me? Because, and even like in the very beginning of my

relationship with Julian, and we've been together for 10 and a

half years now, January will be 11 years, it's, and by the way,

it gets better and better and better. Yes. I mean, that We'll

have to do a whole nother podcast on relationship stuff,

but it is it is so magnificent. And in the very beginning, I

kept a note in my phone, a Julian note, and it was it was

all the ways that he disappointed me. It was all the

ways that he missed the mark, okay? Because I was devoted to

making sure I did not have blinders on, to making sure my

eyes were wide open, my heart is wide open, and that I wasn't

going to stash and store some negativity for a later time to

pop out and volcano out at him. I wanted to do my own internal

work while we were getting to know each other, and so that I

could calmly talk about things with him and say, Hey, you know,

I'm noticing this. Is this how you feel, or is this not? You

know, and check in rather than just making up a bunch of

stories and then, you know, moving away. It took me a solid

three years to actually believe that he didn't want to leave. My

abandonment issues were so strong. I felt so unworthy of

love and a relationship that a solid three years it took. And

he never ever felt like that. It was all coming from me. He never

once thought, I want out of here. I don't want to be here

with her. He told me, and he's told me many, many times, like,

That's not me. That's coming from you. This

is so important. I can see as I'm listening to the

reflection, the importance of reflection, how we can see so

often we think it's actually what's happening, but usually

what we're believing internally is not actually happening. Like,

but we But the stories are so loud and so strong and so

convincing, and they get written so fast, like AI. It's like you

literally Someone looks at you funny, or doesn't text back, or

has the dots on the text and then doesn't keep going. It's

like instant storylines. We could be like we could be

writing TV series all day long. Like those stories come up so

fast. And so I can see the the value as I'm listening to you of

like I mean, this is how to have, of course, a wealthy life.

Is like if you're just believing all the shit in your mind and

projecting that onto the world around you, you're not going to

feel good.

That's literally that's literally how

you're creating your own reality.

Yes. And

this is why all of the teachers, the current

teachers these days, are hyper aware that our thoughts are what

create our reality. And so when I had those thoughts, I knew

they weren't true at a very core level, because of who Julian is,

I just knew they weren't. I knew they were my fears. And they

still were there. They still were present, and I'll tell you

this is kind of a fun story that, when Julian, when he would

notice that I was kind of pulling away or fading away in

the moment, because I felt scared, I felt like, Uh-oh, now

he doesn't want to be with me, and he could literally see the

look on my face and my eyes kind of fading back inside of myself,

he would completely change the energy. This is only when we

were at home, by the way. He would just start taking off all

his clothes. You'd take off his shirt and just pull all his pull

his pants down and be like, I am not a threat. I have nothing to

hide. I love you. I'm in this. I'm here with you. Please don't

go away. I can feel you receding, and I would just start

crying. You know, he was just like, I I am I'm a safe place,

you know? And and he did that for probably a solid six months,

and he would just start like, and then when we were in public,

he would just start lifting his shirt so he wouldn't be

inappropriate, but he, you know, he would basically teach me

through repetition that it's safe. It's safe to love me. It's

safe to love and be loved, and to surrender into our union and

grow together, and I just I never had anything like that

before. I I it was just a completely different and new

experience. And so when we talk about true wealth and living an

abundant life, we're not, you know, you say this all the time,

we're it's not just about money. Money is one component. It's an

important component. It's one of the things that I focus on,

teaching people how to earn more than they need consistently,

doing what they love, and wealth is health and well-being, and

friendships, and community, and love, and creativity, and

connection to your ancestry, and nature, and so many things. We

can go on and on.

Safaris. I was thinking safaris as you were

saying as you said nature in the same moment.

Right? Right, and and the question for you as

a listener is what is wealthy to you? You know, what is your

wealthy, abundant life? What does like if you don't take time

to reflect on your desires, your your dreams, your hopes, your,

you know, what is this life for for me, then when is it going to

happen? You've got to carve out time to make sure that you are

excavating your next levels of desires, because as soon as you

reach those levels, there's the next levels that start to unfold

that you didn't even know were there.

Yeah, exactly. And it's just it's, yeah, it's

pretty amazing. I I too think like just going back to the

complaints and the reflecting and having the notepad in your

phone, like so often if I'm reflecting on patterns that I

notice are common thoughts, it's like, Wait, that's not even

mine. Like, most of it isn't. I was telling you how I just was

have been watching David Icke interviews. I've heard his name

for years, but I've actually never watched anything of his.

And he's brilliant in the way he talks about the programming in

the school system and, which I've talked about for a long

time too, but I love how he talks about it and like how you

go to school and you're taught that you can't decide when you

go to the bathroom, that you can't speak without putting your

hand up and it being the time you're allowed to speak. Like,

the militant training we have throughout our entire lives to

listen to other people's voices and other people's opinions and

other people's rules, and that becomes the thoughts in our

mind, and we think our thoughts are our own, and then we go talk

to our neighbors or our friends, and we reinforce the thoughts

that are all rooted in fear, that are keeping us limited and

small. And, you know, I I think too, so often people are like,

Oh, it's, you know, it's well, of course it's possible for you,

Marla, or for you, Kate, like, because you da da da da da. It's

like, we neither of us, like, and it's always, as we say, work

in progress, we're always growing and evolving. Both of us

are, and Mariana is, like, we're witnessing each other always

growing and evolving, we're never staying the same, and it

didn't we didn't wake up like this, like, we have we're always

moving through and excavating this stuff, too. I couldn't buy

a scrunchie today because it was $9, I tied my hair in a knot

instead. I love it. A photo of the scrunchie. I'm going to send

you some

scrunchies. Well, you know, David Icke is a

very controversial character, and he is incredibly articulate.

I also enjoy a lot of what he shares. He also talks about some

really out there stuff, and I don't know what to think about

some of it. However, I will say that the education system, you

know, I was a high school math teacher for seven years in Los

Angeles Unified School District, and I worked with inner-city

kids and some gang kids, some foster kids, you know, it wasn't

private school, I'll just say that. And it is absolutely true.

I mean, I had rules around, you know, you can't just leave to go

to the bathroom because I'm literally responsible for every

student there. It's different when you're in at university.

First of all, is I mean, it's really fascinating. In

university, you pay in advance to be there, and so they

actually don't care whether you show up or not. They have the

money, and then, you know, you're either going to show up

or not. In in secondary school in in the United States, I'll

just speak for the United States, the school gets paid if

the student is in class. And so you get your funding by a butt

in the seat. And so they value attendance. They you have to go.

If you don't, they start, you know, looking after the parents,

Hey, you know, get your kid here. And we're responsible for

those kids. And I remember, I'll tell you, this is-I don't know

if it's an interesting story or not, but I had one student who I

didn't know it at the time, but his girlfriend had broken up

with him earlier that morning, and he came to school with a

flask of alcohol, and he asked to go to the bathroom. He went

to the bathroom and got crazy drunk, and fell and hit his

head, and came back to class bloody and drunk. And so I

changed my rules after that. I basically said nobody's allowed

to leave the classroom unless it's an emergency, and if it is,

you must go to the nurse, and you will come back, and how

whatever time you've taken there, you will also come back

and you will give that time at nutrition or lunch here in this

classroom. So basically, go to the bathroom before you come to

my class. I don't want anybody leaving this classroom. I got

really military boot- This

is like the army. Yes! I was like, Shave your

heads. You know, you get two

bathroom passes for the semester, period. And

and if you, there's nobody that needs more than that, right? And

the girls used to say, Oh, I have my period, and I'd be like,

Change it before you get into this class. You know? Wear a

diaper. so I could say that, you know. As a man teacher, you'd

you know, it's it's a little bit different.

Yeah. Yeah, but it's it's it's like that system.

How unnatural! I remember watching little kids on recess

running outside screaming, and and it's like it's just not

natural for anyone to sit in a desk and sit in a room and just

like the repression that happens year after year. And then we go

into these cubicles and these offices and these crazy neon

lighting, and then someone else is the boss of me and like all

of Well, it's

training to be a cog. Yes. So, it's really

interesting because I'm kind of I'm happy we're talking about

this, because I have a I have a lot of experience to to to share

here. But basically, when I was a high school math teacher, I

had certain systems. Even though I was militant about the

bathroom from that incident, for for the rest of my kids, I would

have In fact, I have it now, too. I would have a clipboard,

I'd have a stack of clipboards in the back of the room, because

I knew kids are not supposed to sit in chairs all day. So, I'd

say, Look, if you're getting antsy, just quietly walk to the

back of the room, go and get a clipboard and a pencil, and take

notes back there. You don't need to sit in your seat the whole

time. So, I'd have kids doing stretching in the back and

different things, and I would also take them outside of the

classroom to measure things and do different things, and I'd

have things on the walls for them to get up and write and

with different colors, and so I always sort of colored outside

of the lines when I was an educator, because I also I was

kind of a problem child. So, I understood, you know, kids

getting into things, and you know, it's it's not surprising

that there's so much fear around AI, because we've literally been

training our children to become cogs in the machine by doing

what we say, rather than like, you know, some of the Montessori

schools or the Waldorf schools that teach whole child

education, they teach about nature, they teach how all the

different subjects are connected to one another, they teach

actual handwriting, they teach drawing, Getting to know your

gifts.

Like who what what is your gift? Like who are you?

Yes. What is your

uniqueness?

Yes. Exactly.

You know, and then as adults, this is so

fascinating, people are always asking, Well, what's my purpose?

I don't know what my purpose is. I can't leave my job until I

know what my purpose is. Well, guess what? Everybody actually

has the same purpose. The purpose is to be and be present

with yourself and others. So when you can bring presence to

any conversation, where you're not looking around, you're not,

you know, bored and trying to, you know, what's the next best

thing, you're actually present with whomever it is that's in

front of you. And you get known for that. All these things start

to unfold because of your presence and being. And I think

that that's one of the, if I can give a gift to anybody right

now, it would be you already have a purpose and you're living

it. It's about being who you are and bringing your presence to

everything that you do. And from there, what you want to do with

that presence starts to unfold and become clear to you through

reflections of others. So if it's always in your head, then

you're not bringing it out into the world. You need to have

conversations with people. Talk to people about what you're

thinking about, and ooh, I heard this podcast the other day and

they mentioned this, this, and this, and what do you think

about that? And just get in interesting conversations with

all different types of people.

You know, it reminded me of a moment with

you. I don't know if you remember this, but this was

back, I think it was when you and Julian came to Vancouver,

and we did that, like I did a business day with you guys and

you guys did a relationship day with Jeff and I. And we you had

said to me, I feel like your Instagram, like you should

create an Instagram that's just around your pleasurable life.

And she you were like, You have such a pleasurable life and

you're and it's really like that's the embodiment of what

you teach, is like to live a pleasurable life that lights you

up. And it's so funny because that I mean, okay, my Instagram,

I don't put any energy into Instagram, I'm not a huge fan of

Instagram, but in my stories, like that's the one thing I'm

cool to do, I have someone on my team do the the posts of the

podcast and stuff, but I put in my stories where I am. Like, oh,

I was just in Paris, and then I was in California, I was at

Ojai, in Laguna, and I was in Malibu, and I was in now I'm in

Vancouver and going to the Okanagan, which is on fire right

now next on Friday. So not sure about that, but then I'll be in

Greece for a few days, then I'll be, you know, back in Kenya. And

so it's like I I am doing that, and that's a that is an example

of exactly what you're talking about, because living with

presence allows you to be in alignment with the the life that

that that is meant for you, and people come along and invite

you, or, you know, nudge, or give you direction, like I feel

like they're Earth Angels, right? That the universe hires

all the Earth Angels to cue that person to say the thing, You

need a podcast, or, You should do, you know, this thing, or

whatever. And it guides us

to the the way our soul is meant to create and

be expressed in this lifetime. I I'm nodding along. Yes, I 100%

agree. You know, two things came up as you were sharing. One is

this, I guess, approach, I'd say, that Julian and I both

have. And Julian is my love, life, and business partner. We

have this approach where we love connecting with interesting

people. And so, sometimes when I'm in a conversation with

someone, I will just ask them. I'll say, Who's the most

interesting person you know? And they'll think about it, and

they'll come up with one or two people, and then I'll say, If

it's fun for you, I would love an introduction to that

interesting person, because I'm kind of a collector of

interesting people. I'm an interesting person. Julian is

definitely an interesting person, and interesting people

like to hang out together. And so, I I love deep, meaningful

conversations, wild, wacky conversations. I love silly

conversations. I love all different types of

conversations, especially if we disagree. I love conversations

where we disagree, where we can disagree and still be curious

and not get into finger pointing or I'm right and you're wrong,

or anything like that. And interesting people tend to have

the ability to go, Oh, huh. Yeah, I don't I don't agree with

that, but that's so interesting you think that way. Tell me why

you think that way. And so it's really kind of fun. So, that's

one way to expand your circle of people. So, let's say you're

still in a job that you don't totally love. You're considering

leaving. You're considering starting your next thing. You've

been listening to Kate for a while. You got inspired, and

you're like, I do want to do something else. It's a really

fun way to expand your own circle by just asking that. So,

talk to any of your friends, and ask them, Who do I not know in

your life that is like the most interesting person? Right? And

get an introduction. And then, with no agenda, we call it

no-agenda conversations. No agenda at all. You're not trying

to sell them anything. You're not trying to become besties.

You're literally just like, What is it that's interesting about

this person? And then guess what starts to happen. You start

meeting people who are interesting, because that's

where your focus is. Your thoughts are thinking, I wonder

what's interesting about this person. I wonder what this

person is experiencing in their life, and and then you start to

ask, I wonder what this person needs. I wonder if this person

needs anything. Maybe I can make a connection for this person or

or a recommendation, and now you're in the flow of

generosity. So every conversation is a valuable tool

to expand your life because we can get so myopic and so

contained within our own small life, and we start to think, how

can I even go beyond my current circumstances? Well, this is one

way, and I had another thought too, but let's let's ride on

this for a minute.

Okay, let's unpack that for a sec. So I, you know,

as you're talking, it's like it kind of, the more present you

are, like this is all interconnected, of course, the

more present you are, the more you naturally become a

connector, and like, oh, you need to meet this person, you

know, you naturally connect interesting people when you're

living in your own interesting self. Like we are I've heard so

many, so many women say like, Oh, I have a fear of being

boring. And it's like, yeah, we are boring if we're in our

patterns. But when we're in our souls, when we're, like, living

from the truth of who we are in our hearts, and are not our

conditioned self, but who we really are, and really being

present with the exploration of moment-to-moment, like what are

those yeses and, like, listening to the body and living from the

truth, we become so interesting, right? And so magnetic. And then

these these connections happen so naturally. I was just

thinking you connected me to Mariana, and it was just because

I said to you, Oh, I'm doing my immersion in Greece now. The

first one was in Italy. I'm going to Greece. And you're

like, You're going to Greece? You've got to meet my friend

Mariana. And I'm living in Kenya because of Mariana. Like she

called me We We got so close, as you know. She called me one day

and was like, We're going to Kenya. I'm like, Where's Kenya?

Cool. Like, I'd never been to Africa. Was not on my radar. And

we just like did a retreat together in Kenya, and I fell in

love with it, and now I live there. You know? And just like

all the things in my life that have come from that connection,

because you you were like, Hey, you're going to Greece? You need

to meet this person. And I think the more present we are, the

more we make space for these kinds of moments, because if

you're just in the, like, grind, checking the list, getting

through the day, got to do do do do, living my little nuclear

family life where I'm like so insular, whether it's by

yourself in an apartment or with a husband and some kids or, you

know, however your life looks, when we're in that insular, you

know, can just in the program, in the tape of get through the

day, get through the day, get through it, we miss the magic,

and that is the magic. Like, when you're really present, you

then, of course that will naturally happen. Like, I love

the I was thinking having host an interesting person party and

get everyone to bring two interesting people or something.

But, but also it happens so organically, too.

Absolutely. Absolutely. And Yeah. I I love

connecting people. I love being connected with people, and you

start to find out there is something interesting about

every person, and everybody also has a need, at least one need.

And so the the question is, am I able to be present enough with

this person without an agenda, that they will reveal one of the

needs that they have or one of the challenges that they have?

And so, you know, one of one thing that I'm writing about

currently is how I've earned millions one conversation at a

time, and this really is the key, is when you bring presence

to every conversation, one thing that starts to happen is people

reveal the truth of their challenges. And then, if I don't

have the agenda that, Oh, well, you have to work with me, that's

not ever my agenda. My agenda is an ethical agenda, which is how

can I help this person in some way? How may I be of service?

And sometimes it's just being present. Sometimes it is without

any words, and sometimes it's asking some questions about this

person's life, sometimes it's making a recommendation, and

sometimes that recommendation is, You know, I don't know if

this is this is interesting to you, and I can help you. Like

this what you're talking about is what I do. Do you want to

have a conversation about working together? Because

whether you work together with me or not, the conversation

itself will help you with your very next steps. So, it's up to

you, but if you do want to go down that road of considering

it, then let me know, and I'm I'm happy to, you know, set

something up where we can have a deeper conversation. So, people

are always wondering, Well, how do you do that? And how do you

have conversations with people that lead to a sales

conversation? Well, that's one way. The other thing I wanted to

circle back on that when you were sharing earlier was this

idea of comparison, and honestly, I can't remember

exactly what sparked my awareness of that. However, I

want to share just, there's only one, in my opinion, and I'm

happy to receive, That's not true, Marla, you know, from

somebody. But there's only one reason to use comparison, in my

opinion, and that is for inspiration. And so we tend to

use comparison as a way to put ourselves higher than others or

lower than others. Oh, I'm not as far along, or, you know, I

can't do that, or, you know, we do this hierarchy thing. And in

my world, comparison has one purpose, and that is when you

notice something in somebody else that you're like, God, how

are they even doing that? I want that, or some some version of

that, use it as inspiration. Use it as a way to go, You know

what? If Kate has that experience of going to Paris and

then going to Malibu and going to Ojai, and now she's in

Vancouver, now she's doing this, and you want to travel, never

ever damn or diminish Kate or anybody else like, Oh, well,

she's doing that because whatever. Send good vibes. May

she continue to travel even more! And may I be inspired to

like, ooh, where would I want to go if I could go anywhere,

right? And so we use our energy inappropriately, a misuse of our

power of intention to unintentionally use comparison

to make that other person wrong. And then what are we doing?

That's the vibrational accord, that energetic frequency we're

now in is a lower frequency because we're judging this other

person for having a fabulous life. And instead, what we could

do is say, You know what? Amazing! Look at Kate. Look at

her go! Look at Marla! Look at her go! Amazing! May you be even

more successful. And you know what? May I also be successful.

And now we start uplifting together. And I think that

that's a really, really helpful use of thoughts.

Yeah, I feel like it's it's like if it's

activating for you. You taught me that word. Oh my god, I use

that word so much for years and years and years. There's so many

things that this is wild. There's so many things in my

life that are come from you and I didn't even realize it. I love

it. So activation, I my clients love it too, instead of trigger.

Like when something activates you, there's something in there

for you. And I I I used to be riddled with jealousy and

comparison because everyone else was walking around modeling like

all those shut-down parts of me. You know, I was really jealous

of women who were sensual and really sexual and really

powerful or really funny or really wealthy or who traveled,

who had adventurous lives, and you know, the part It's

interesting, too, cause the part of me I remember a meeting with

Callan and Justin back in the day, and I was like We We were

in the Vancouver office a lot. We were The company was still

really small. We weren't traveling very much. This is

when I was a business coach for those of you who've heard the

stories, and I wrote down on the flip chart. I I He Justin was

like, What do you want? We were all asking ourselves what we

want, and I wrote I drew an airplane, and I was like, I

would like my office to be on an airplane. And he was like, Okay,

cool.

And next thing you know, in the next like two

years, like we started traveling insane amounts. And I was We did

events in Australia. We did events in England. We did events

all over. I was like New York, LA, like all over the States,

all over Canada, till I burnt out and had to quit my job. But

and then now I travel even more, you know. And it's all for me.

It's not for business events. It's all for my own retreats and

my own pleasure and my own joy, and and that was not my life

growing up. We didn't even go on an airplane. We drove to

Disneyland when I was 13. Like that was not at all my life

growing up, and so we didn't have the money for that. And so

I just, as you're as you're speaking, it's like be if we

only have the complaint, and we don't have we don't then anchor

into the desire, as you said earlier, like the flip side of

the complaint, which is your desire. You're only complaining

because there's a desire underneath it. It's like if we,

you know, the complaint pops up, and then we claim the desire,

the universe is freaking listening. Like literally

everything in my journal, I just like am having so many so many

downloads, and so of everything that I said I wanted, I'm now

living. You know, and it now what? Cool. Where what's next?

It's so exciting. And it's it's because I keep showing up, and I

keep moving through. We'll talk about I I think we definitely

should have a conversation about self-worth, and about, cause

wealth and abundance and women holding that energy, like we

need to be able to access that part of us that is unbelievably

worthy, and most women are living from the part that

doesn't believe she is.

So, so true. I I I love this. What you're

speaking to is love the life you're living, right? Love the

life you're living now, and the duality of and I want more, and

I want to, you know, I look around. What inspires you? What

inspires you? And when you talk about worthiness, I literally

just had a huge opening two nights ago. I was laying in bed

with Julian, and he was making me laugh, and I just I had this

moment, and I was like, you know, you taught me how to fall

asleep laughing. And this this I don't know how this is going to

sound to different people, but I'll just say, in my world

growing up, laughing, joy, playfulness, silliness, comedy,

like none of that stuff was like allowed in serious moments, like

when you're trying to go to sleep, you're not supposed to

get wild and crazy and laughing and whatever. You're supposed to

be quiet and still and all of that.

Which all children do. All children laugh and get

silly before bed, literally every single one of them.

Yeah, and so I was essentially, not to make my

parents wrong in any way, they were just doing what they

learned, you know, but they trained me out of that. And so,

when Julian and I first started dating, like I couldn't listen

to any music or anything before going to bed. He, when he was a

kid, he used to fall asleep to comedy. He would listen to, you

know, George Carlin and different people, listening to

comedy, literally laughing going to bed. So, so the other night,

I I said to him, I'm like, Oh, I'm so grateful that you taught

me how to fall asleep laughing, that we can have some fun, like

fun before we sleep. And then he said, Yeah, you've really come a

long way, and, and that inner little girl, the one who- and he

knows, the one who used to live inside of the wall. Okay, so

when I was in my, early 20s, I went through therapy, and my

therapist at the time helped me access my inner child. And the

first place that I accessed her was-she was in my imagination.

She was like inside of a wall that I had to take a

sledgehammer and like break through to the wall. She was

like a feral child with, plus, all this white stuff all over

her face from me breaking through the wall. And she was

angry. She was enraged. She was like, What? You don't get access

to me? Took me years to really connect deeply with her and love

her and take her on dates and all that. And he said, Yeah, you

really healed that girl in the wall.

Hmm. And then I just

started sobbing. And then I said, You

know, I I feel worthy. Hmm. I feel worthy now. I didn't feel

worthy in the past. And it's a It's It's hard to describe what

worthiness feels like, and it's not that I feel it all the time

24/7. It's just that most of the time now, I feel worthy of the

life I'm living and less and less sabotage and less and less,

you know, wondering if this is going to work, or things like

that. It doesn't mean those thoughts are gone. When I go on

a down, when my nervous system is activated by something, I

also have those thoughts. I still keep a note in my phone.

I'm human. This is what distinguishes us between humans

and robots, right? Is we have this wide range of thoughts and

feelings. And so when we make our thoughts productive

thoughts, even when they're negative, and we don't make them

wrong, and instead we say, Oh, look at all these negative

thoughts. I'm going to capture as many as I can. and then

later, not at this time, but later, when I'm on a high, in a

in a more elevated state, then I'm going to go spelunking and

look at the patterns of my negative, stressful thoughts.

And then I'm going to find some gold. I'm going to find some

wisdom, some gems in there, and I'm going to do something

productive with those gems. Because the negative thoughts I

have today are inside. If I'm if I'm patient, and I'm loving with

myself, and I sit with these negative thoughts, they open up.

The seed of that negativity opens up, and it reveals the

gift that that negativity, that shit, was holding. And that's

what I'm looking for. And every negative thought has a seed of

goodness in it. It's some sort of a desire. It's some sort of

a, I'm making that person wrong. There's three fingers pointing

back at me. I'm going to look and see how is this related to

my life, where I can make a higher choice.

Yes. Yeah, so beautiful. And as you're, I love

I love hearing about you and Julian and the holding down the

new paradigm of love and that it gets better over time. It's like

most people, it's just like fast and furious and amazing in the

beginning, and then all of a sudden, it gets really fucking

painful and hard and dark and da da da. And it actually, with

consciousness and slowness and presence and attention and

self-awareness, so much more is possible in a relationship. And

I love how much you model that, and even just seeing how, of

course, you're going to attract a man who laughs before bed, you

know, after that not being an option. Like, it's like how we

we the he when we're willing to do the healing ourselves with

and for ourselves, then we attract people who are also

willing to help us go deeper. And it's so beautiful. And and

as you're talking about all the the negative thoughts and the

tracking and the becoming the observer, I'm just feeling like

the the sadness of how many people just live in that prison

inside of themselves, only knowing the negativity and

believing it to be so true, and not, like, the the gift of even

this conversation that that there is something underneath

that if you're willing to become the observer of it, and and then

take, you know, I love that when you're in an elevated state,

actually go back and do the digging and do the the the the

excavating so that you can find the gift in it for you, because,

yeah, it's not who you are. It's who you've been taught to be,

though. The negative thinking is just like everywhere. It's

rampant.

I forget who said this, but, like, Don't

believe every thought you think. They're just thoughts. They're

literally, right? They're just floating around, and they're not

even necessarily yours. So, conscious thoughts are one

thing. Most of mine are, I'd say.

Most, yes. Yeah. There was a meme I saw once that

I loved. I think it was Ryan Yamaki. He has a podcast I used

to listen to. But it was, if you believe everything you think,

you're fucked. And that's so true. You're fucked. Right? Just

like, and then we just

Well, you can't It's not even possible. It's not

even possible to believe every thought you think. That would

mean that you have awareness of all of those thoughts. We don't

even have awareness of all of our thoughts. Yeah. So that

anyway, the thoughts are the through line. Like, what you're

thinking is determining your life trajectory. And so I love

that, you know, the like you can't even become aware of all

of your thoughts. But the idea is to become aware of the

thoughts that are driving your actions. And so this is part of

the nervous system regulation trainings that I do, is to

become nervous system informed means that you're aware that

typically the negative thoughts come in when your nervous system

is activated in a threat. So the safety or threat. Am I under

threat? You can be under threat by opening your email. You can

be under threat by looking at your bank account. You can be

under threat by thinking about your bank account, right? It

doesn't take a whole lot for us to be activated in our nervous

system. And when we are, what happens is the thoughts align

with the frequency of our nervous system. And this is why

I say when you're on a down, don't go analyzing your

stressful thoughts. Do it when you're in what I call the green

zone, when you're, oh, all is well, because it's also the last

thing you would think to do, by the way. When you're in good

vibes, the last thing you want to do is go digging around in

the darkness. Go digging for the poop to find

the treasures.

Right. Find the treasure. Like in a

relationship, when all is well, you don't want to go digging

around in the dirt. You don't want to say, Well, let's talk

about those financial issues we've got. You want to just

enjoy the good times you've got. However, if you want to be in a

conscious relationship where you're growing together, you

want to spend time writing out all the ways you're out of

integrity together and sharing those lists. That's what Julian

and I did when we first started dating. You want to look around

and go, Oh, you know what? We have some things we need to

clear. Let's let's actually carve out time so we can do

this. And we don't have to do it ongoing. Let's set a 30-minute

timer and only do it for a period of time, and then we can

close that and reopen it next week when we have a little more

time. We don't have to go through and do a 5-hour marathon

session. Nobody's going to come back to look at the negativity

if you spend so many hours in it, right? Nobody wants to do

that. So, but you can tell what's going on with you by the

quality of your thoughts.

Yes, I love it. I love all the intentionality,

like the the this is building. I feel like this is building

self-worth. Is the intentionality behind

everything, right? Like, bringing the unconscious

material conscious and being aware of it and tracking it and

noting it. And no matter how far along you've you are on the

journey or how deep you've gone into yourself, there's always

more to track and more to note. And and new new edges, new parts

of ourselves that feel more vulnerable that didn't, you

know, that didn't before. And yeah. So, I'll say

this: if like some people think, Oh, there's

this arrival state, and we already talked about, you know,

always arriving, never arrived in past tense. Like, if I had an

issue with the coaching industry, it would be that

people make it seem like they've arrived at some place and never

have any issues anymore, and it's that's not accurate. And

and, by the way, if you find yourself comparing to somebody

else's life, I'll say this: for 30-plus years, okay, I'm 55 now,

but for 30-plus years that I've been working with people and

helping people, I've seen and been invited to the

behind-the-scenes of all different types of people.

Whether I was a doula helping through labor, delivery, and

postpartum with people who had these huge lives, very wealthy,

etc., or people who have very little means, it doesn't matter.

Everybody has issues behind the scenes. Nobody has some perfect

version of a life. So just live your life. That's the first

thing I wanted to just get across a little bit, if you are

using that, yeah.

And none of them are supposed to be the same, so

I think of comparison as so futile because and, you know,

fashion industry teaches us we're all supposed to look the

same, cosmetic surgery industry is teaching women they're all

supposed to be the same, weight loss industry we're all supposed

to be the same. All of these industries, Instagram filters,

and what like we're all, which is AI, right? AI, it's like

we're not meant to be the same. We're meant to be the most

unique flowers, and trees, and bumblebees, and like we're not.

No tree is the same. We're not supposed to be the same. We're

all supposed to be so unique, and I I I think, you know,

comparison only exists when we're in our conditioned self

looking at someone going, Oh, I I should be like them, or I

should have what they have, but actually you shouldn't. You can

be inspired by them, there's some might might be some

information in why you're activated and there's something

deeper in you that shut down, but it's not supposed to look

the same.

Right. Right. And so so first you work through

your own personal unconscious and subconscious material, and

you create a relationship to bridge your subconscious

unconscious to come up to the surface, and you do it through

your negative thoughts and your negative stressful thoughts. You

capture those. That's the bridge, okay? And then you

excavate and you bring it up to the surface. So that's the first

thing. Once you start clearing more and more of your personal

unconscious, it doesn't end there because you don't live in

a vacuum. You also have issues with other people, people in

your family, your relationship, your community. Then there's

also the collective unconscious of humanity. So if you think

that there's some end, there's no end. It's all There's always

more to uncover and unfold and to bless. So if you if you're

not blessing everyone that you come in contact with, that means

that your thoughts are doing something else. What are they

doing? As soon as you get online, what are your thoughts

doing? As soon as you walk out your house, soon as you walk

into the coffee shop or the store, what are your thoughts

doing? You're looking around, and what are you thinking?

Because you could be walking around thinking, Bless this

store. May the owners of this store be more and more vibrant

in their health, in their wealth, in their everything. May

everyone in this store feel uplifted in this moment, and

everyone who walks through these doors feel a little more

uplifted. May everyone in their entire family lineage feel

uplifted from all the way back in the dominoes and all the way

forward, right? And you could literally be blessing everyone

all day long. And we're not doing that. So if we're not

doing that, what are we doing? We're doing something with our

thoughts. And so the more that you clear of your own personal

material, the more available you are to be a force for good and

to bring the light to every situation because we need it. We

need your light on this earth. We need people who know they

carry the light to share it more and more and more. And that

means blessing people in your mind, in in your heart. You

don't have to even say the words out loud, right? But if you're

standing in line, can you bless yourself? Can you bless the

other people in line, right? And can you go all the way back to,

you know, all of humanity. So these are some of the things I

like to play around with in my own personal life. And and this

is part of my work in the world is to help us move beyond

violence and war. And one way to do that is to bring blessings

all the way back to the first rock thrown. I love

that. And how, you know, whatever you're thinking

determines how you feel. So thinking, you know, judging the

shit out of yourself and everyone else, complaining,

blaming, feeling like, you know, reinforcing that we're fucked

and the world is fucked and people are crazy, whatever the

thing is, it's like if that's the only place you hang out, you

are definitely not feeling good inside your body. And I love

that practice of the blessings, the blessings to like imagine

like how that would feel. I just got tingles all over when you

were doing the blessing. Like, Oh, my gosh, I love that.

Yeah, and by the way, if you are in a

negative state at the moment, then the blessings are for you.

May I feel more blessed in this moment. May I access more grace

for myself. May I have some more compassion for myself right now.

So, you can't bless anyone else if you don't feel blessed

inside. But the more work you do to excavate your own material

and you fall in love with yourself more and more, then you

have more capacity for blessings, not only for

yourself, because you're more at peace inside, but you also have

more blessings for others. And we need that on Earth right now.

Yes, big time. Oh my gosh, we need way more of

that and way less of like I just think like all the systems that

teach us just to point the finger and blame our neighbors

and to fight each other and to be separated from each other,

and when we're separated from each other, we're separated from

our divinity and the truth of who we are and the the that we

are all connected on a soul level. And I I think of the, the

immersion as such a great little microcosm of a macrocosm. When

when we're doing the immersion, which is my deep dive program in

Greece, it's like everyone at the beginning, their saboteurs

are like, Okay, that person's not really for me, or, That

person's really triggering, she reminds me of my mom, or, That

per- you know, oh, that one's my favorite, you know. And

everyone's got their judgmental, like deciding who's who. And

then once everyone cracks open, we're all deeply in love with

each other because on a soul level, we're all fucking

compatible. All of us, everyone on planet Earth. There's no

guards. There's no there's no need to fight and make each

other wrong when we're connected to our hearts and souls and like

who we truly are.

Right, and at at a level of truth, we are

always connected in energy and frequency, and there is never a

disconnect. And so when we feel alone, like I was talking about

how I used to feel so alone, it's because we are not

connected to our own source. We we are disconnected. And so when

you get to gather in a place like that, it's so Oh my, so

nourishing to to be able to explore like that and to come in

with all the judgments and all the things and do that deeper

work and then emerge going like, Oh my god, I love these people.

Why? Because you love yourself. Exactly. You can't love anyone

else unless you also love yourself.

And the willingness, like the the deeper

you go, I find like even I I have a practice in Kenya, well,

I've been practicing it here too, but I take a lot of Ubers

there because I don't want to drive in Nairobi. But I every

time I'm in an Uber, I connect with the drivers, and there's

some that don't want to at first, and they seem very

guarded, and they seem like, you know, they're not interested in

a conversation. And I just like soften and get curious and ask

some questions, but I keep going and keep I instead of being

like, Oh, he's a dick. You know, it'd be so easy to just judge

the guard. But I'm like, I know it's just a guard, and he's

whatever, he's got assumptions, I've got assumptions, and and so

we just sit and deepen, and they're always the funnest

conversations. Is the ones who were the most guarded when I

first get in. And then we have these beautiful connections. And

the next time I see them, they remember my Kenyan names because

I tell them I have three Kenyan names, and they remember, they

call me Muthoni or Naishipai or whatever one of my Kenyan names.

That's like the sweetest thing, and it it's it's such a

beautiful thing to remember, you know, that if you just soften in

the moment of being in someone's guard, they'll soften, too. Even

your partner.

Right, that's the presence.

Yes.

That's the presence. So, you're not doing

anything. You're just being with the person. By the way, that's

the same in a sales conversation. A sales

conversation, if you don't get somebody's skeptic in the sales

conversation, their inner skeptic, which is the guarded

part, then you haven't actually touched what you need to in the

sales conversation yet, because you need to talk to their

skeptic. Their skeptic must be present. Otherwise, you're

probably going to get somebody who's going to ghost or not sign

a contract because they actually haven't been able to walk in the

I'm not sure if this is for me. Mm. You need to talk to the

skeptic. So, being present with the skeptic starts with being

present with your own skeptic. What are you skeptical about?

You know, I'm super skeptical. I'm a I have a huge skeptic. I

mean, I have three degrees in mathematics and neuroscience.

Like, of course I'm a skeptic. And I'm super woo. They're not

exclusionary.

No, they're not. And and they're just parts.

They're And we That's the beauty of being human. We have so many

parts. I was I I was I've thought a few times on this

episode, do you like Robert Edward Grant? I feel like you

guys are similar, like like mathematicians, but like

spiritual, woo-woo mathematicians.

Yeah, he's super fun. We used to hang out

with a woman that worked for him. And so I I knew I knew some

more behind the scenes about him. He's fun. He's super, super

smart. And I really appreciate people who are that brilliant.

Yeah.

Yeah. He also looks like Robert Downey Jr. He sounds

He Robert Edward Grant looks like Robert Downey Jr. It's

funny that they're both Robert with like three names. So okay.

So let's I feel like we obviously we can talk forever

and ever and ever and ever. But let's bring it home. So, so I am

a woman who is like really, you know, in discord in my life,

longing for more, longing to feel abundant financially,

longing to feel abundant. Maybe I have abundance financially,

but I can't feel any of it. Longing to feel abundant in

love, in life, in community, in connection. Let's bring it home.

What is the the last like the most important thing or the the

the next step, would you say, for a woman to really live from

this place?

You know, what comes what's coming to me as

you're as you're saying this is cause I don't always have the

same guidance for everybody, but the way you're saying this, I

would say allow yourself to dream bigger than you would ever

allow yourself. Like, use your imagination. Take yourself on a

date with your biggest, most bold, pleasurable life, like the

version of you that is already living this incredibly

fulfilled, pleasurable, delightful, truly wealthy and

abundant life. Take yourself on a date. It can be anywhere. It

doesn't have to involve money, even. But you you could go to

the Ritz-Carlton Hotel and have a tea. You could go on a hike at

the top of a mountain. You could do anything. You could have a

picnic in your living room, whatever you want to do. Take

yourself on a date, that version of you, and interview her. Ask

her what her life is like. And use journaling, speak it into a

an audio message for yourself, and really be creative. Let your

Just ask like, what do you do all day? What do you Who you

hang out with? Who are your friends? What's your style like?

What are your bank accounts like? What, you know, really get

into it and allow yourself to imagine the most fulfilling life

you possibly could. And then, that's a map for you. Nobody's

two experiences will be the same. You have a unique map of

possibility. And so, it doesn't mean you're going to live that

life. It means you now have a trajectory from where you are to

where you could be. And as soon as you take one more step,

that's the first step, is doing that exercise. Step two is out

of all of those things that I said or wrote, what are one to

three that I could take action on and move forward now? Maybe

it's to reach out and book a call with Kate. Maybe it's to

take a yoga class. Maybe it's to plan a vacation, you know, a

solo vacation. I used to I traveled for 10 years by myself

on an astrological birthday trip every year, like the best place

for me to be on Earth for my birthday. I hired an astrologer

to, you know, find my best spot. You can have fun with your life.

You've got this one precious life in this human body. Enjoy

it because it is finite. It will end, and we never know when. So

imagine what your life could be, where it could be, maybe it's

not in the current location you are, and then what's what are a

few things that you could take a few steps forward with? Very

gently, just super gently. And then if you're really ready for

a big shift, then reach out to me. Let's have a conversation,

cause that's what I help people with: making that really big

quantum leap filled with grace, ease, joy, and flow, and

shedding the old and bringing in the new very quickly.

Touche. Yes, my love, thank you so much. That is

it, and I'm so glad you said that piece at the end because I

feel like you, I mean, from the moment I met you, I was like,

Who the fuck is this woman? I remember we did one exploration

call, and I was like, That was the best coaching session of my

life. And it it because you you live big, and you you you have

since I've known you, and I've known you, I don't know, 12

years, 13 years, something along those lines, and I was so

expanded, and I know so many women are so expanded from

hearing these conversations that we've had the last three weeks.

I I have been so my life has expanded astronomically because

of you, not just from you modeling, but also from who

you've connected me to, and the little wisdom you shared along

the way, like I think that that is it's unbelievable how much of

my life I can look back, I would not live in Africa if it weren't

for you, probably wouldn't have moved to Greece.

Wow, I think that's amazing. It's amazing,

and it's funny because you say I live a big life. I don't see

myself that way.

I think it's the embodiment. It's internal.

Yes, I feel very spacious inside. I don't

feel tight or constricted. I feel that anything is possible.

Yes.

I I live a pretty simple life, actually. I

mean, it's a luxurious simple life, but it's it feels like

it's actually getting bigger.

It's

getting bigger, and I have the capacity for it,

so that's that's yeah, thank you for that reflection, I

appreciate it. Manifesting

generator, but also the big life, like over the

years, I just think like I I I mean, you've been on so many

like talk shows and TV shows and like just all I mean, you live

in Santa Barbara in this gorgeous house and you have this

amazing relationship that you're always evolving and growing, and

and and and you've just from the beginning just this anchored

queen energy, you know, this badass like badass boss, but

like loving and deep and soft and spiritual and but like

badass, you know? It's like women, I think have become in a

lot of ways hard and lost their softness, intuition, and and you

know, feeling like the feminine, who who the innate part of who

we are, because we've had to, in feminism and you know,

shattering glass ceilings and and having a say and having a

voice and having a place at the boardroom table, like we've had

to ditch parts of ourselves in order to get there, and I

believe that's true. And I feel like you're the embodiment of

what's next, so, ah, which is coming back to the whole

picture, all of it. So thank you for all your brilliance and

wisdom. How to we'll, of course, link everything below, but if

someone wants to have a call with you, how does that happen?

Probably the best way would be either through

beaconsglobal.com, which is our website, or you can find me on

LinkedIn or Instagram @marlamattenson. That Those are

probably the best ways. Yeah.

Perfect, amazing. Thank you, love. You're

brilliant. Thank you so much for for this magical carpet ride,

three-part series, so much value and and wisdom, and I love you

lots. I love you so much. Thank you. And as always, share this

episode with every woman you know who needs to hear this

message. Every woman on planet Earth, let's empower each other

to keep rising, keep growing, keep evolving, and keep

expanding as much as possible. And I I love the the dream big.

Like dream big, I just thought of like shoot for the moon, if

even if you miss it, you land among the stars. Like it it's

like you might think, Oh, this is my big dream, but it's about

how you want to feel underneath that. Then you end up living

something so much more than you could ever imagine. So, yeah, I

love it. And we'll speak to you soon. Reach out to Marla, reach

out to me. We've got your back. Love you.