YOU… Have to Figure Out Your Life

Welcome to The Missing Secret Podcast. I'm Kelly Hatfield,

Hey, and I'm John Mitchell. So we got a good topic today, and here it is. It's on you to figure out your life now, Kelly, I'm betting that you agree with this basic concept, don't you wholeheartedly?

You know me. I'm all about radical accountability. So, right, absolutely well,

And I'll tell you how I came about this. Basically, this is a life lesson that I didn't get through my thick head until I was 50. I see at 50 that you have to man up or woman up and figure out your life, because nobody's going to do it for you, and there's not going to be some divine intervention that makes it like you want it, but it's on you to figure out your life, because you're the only one that has all the information you can talk to people about, oh, You should do this, or you should do that, but they're not understanding all the details of your life like you do. And they don't understand granularly what maybe needs to happen like like you can and and so you have to, not only, I think, figure out your life, then you have to take the actions required to make that happen. And so it's sort of that two part process. You got to figure it out, what do I have to do, and what's my path? And then I got to take the actions. And, you know, I see with the think it be it, we're really giving you a system that makes three things happen. You know, the template itself is is actually a a system for figuring out your life and establishing clarity. And the template is also a system for for evolving your life, because whatever you figure out for your life, and you have it on that template, you can be sure that it's not 100% right, and it's going to evolve. So you need a way to to evolve it. And then the methodology is a system for making the right actions happen automatically, since 95% of them are unconscious. But I think that's the power of of the methodology. But back, back to the original thing I was I was talking about, is, is the sooner you as a person recognize that, oh, it is on me to figure out my life, the better off you are. And again, I didn't figure this out until I was in my 50s, and I think that at some level, like I know, in fact, when I was in my 30s, I thought, yeah, I'm so sharp, it's just a matter of time for I'm successful.

How? How delusional was that?

I mean, it's ridiculous, but, but you know, finally, when you hit 50 and you're not as successful as you think you should be, and and divine intervention hasn't come in and transformed your life, then you get it through your thick head that you need to take the responsibility. And so I, I am, passionately share this with our audience, that the sooner you get that less, and hopefully you get it before 50, the better off you are. What's your thoughts on that?

No, I 100% on board with this whole, you know, thought process, and I think like like, nobody's coming to save you. And I think that the sooner you, like, accept the fact that, you know, I talk about radical accountability, and I talk about, and some people don't like the way I talk about this, which is, like, wherever you are at, whatever is you know, like happening, you know, like, in terms of, like, where you are in in relation to your goals, or where you're at in your life right now, or like, it's your fault. Yeah, you know what I mean, and, you know, and I get it, awful things happen. You know what I mean? Like, that's life, you know, we all have awful things happen, whether it's health related or grief or divorces or, you know, like, there's all kinds of things that come up in life, and I acknowledge that, you know, but it also goes back to how you look at those things, you know. How is it that you're going to, you know, look at that failure or that thing that happened that wasn't the way you wanted it to go. How are you going to frame that and use that to, you know? And it goes back to kind of what we talk about all the time, which is, and I don't mean this in a negative way at all, but a victim, you know, kind of mentality where looking through that lens that like life is out to get me, you know what I mean, the start, the cards are stacked against me. I don't have as many benefits as that. Person over there that's succeeding, like that mentality that is, you know, sets you back in terms of achieving anything you want to achieve, because you are diminishing yourself by comparing yourself to other people and where they're at. And so I think with just understanding that, like, Hey, I'm exactly where I'm at right now because of the choices I've made, how I've decided to look at things, how the actions I've decided to take the yes, you know, and so many things can be true at once, but Yeah, as soon as you understand that, like, No, you know,

I'm not where I'm at because somebody did me wrong. You know what I mean, I'm, you know, are not achieving my goal because I've been done dirty or whatever. Like, no, you know, yes, that happened. But like, what is, you know? How are you going to make lemon out of, let you know, lemonade out of lemons, you know. How are you going to turn this into something that's a catalyst for something positive in your life? Or, you know, I firmly believe in, you know, radical accountability, and that whole idea of like nobody's coming to save you. You know, you've got to rely on you. You are. You are the one that needs to take the actions. You're the one that needs to form the clarity around your life so that you know what actions to take, right? And so, no, I, you know, for me, this is a I'm passionate about this because I've known so many people. I've had so many employees throughout the years who you know are, you know, they're complaining. They spend a lot of their time complaining, or you know about what's not going well, instead of, you know. So anyway, no, I'm 100% on board with you on getting this idea of you know you being wholly responsible for you know yourself

Right well, and to drill down on it, maybe even a little more. As an example, say you're in a marriage that that doesn't really work. It's on you to figure out how to make it work, or to get out? Yeah, I'd strongly advise doing everything you can to make it work. But when you really look at it, you can figure out how to make it work and and and again, this is once you embrace this idea of of owning your results. I think that it's almost liberating, because you go, Oh, I see that the solution is in my head. It's not elsewhere. I don't need to find somebody to to advise me or coach me or, you know, it's in in my head. And in the example of Marissa dead, work well the first place to look is to fix you, make sure you are great at the marriage. Inevitably, if you, if you improve, you your partner will improve as well. I mean, that's just the ying and the yang of the relationship. But again, it takes really thinking through your life in that particular issue, and that's why setting aside time to think is so critical. And like we've talked talked about 100 times, how people are just gliding through life. They're not really stepping back from their life and thinking about their life. But once you you sort of embrace this idea of owning your life. Boy, then you immediately, I think, embrace this idea the power of stepping back from your life and thinking and figure out, figuring out the problem in a way that only you can, because, again, you you have all the information. Anytime you're trying to get it, vice of somebody else. They don't have all the information. So it's just powerful. And I see like in in career, people go, Well, I want to be more successful my my career. And I saw, as I think I told you, I did a revision on my book earlier this year because I didn't like what I was seeing on some of the templates in terms of like the three things that moved the needle and the strategy for success. And I created this quality control checklist

to make sure that people are looking at that deeply enough, in fact, now when it when the template comes out of the AI algorithm, the Quality Control Checklist is comes out with it and but you'll find this interesting. I find it interesting. So I was on a podcast not too long ago, and the guy really embraced my methodology, and it really transformed his life and and he had me back again. He had, he bought, like, 30 or 40 of my books for his people. And so we did it. Did another podcast, and. Yeah, then a couple of them send me an email and say, Would you look at my template and and I look at it. I'm like, did you just ignore the Quality Control Checklist? I mean, you're asking me to dig into your template, but you're missing the key points that I'm making, but that's people, you know, I mean it to me, and it seems like, Oh, my God, but yeah, that's, that's people you'd be mad about it or not be mad about it. Again, just think a little bit deeper about those things, and again, you can figure it out. You know, when you're figuring out what your strategy for success is, what's making your company different than the others in the industry, that's what that's the essence what we're trying to get at and and when you're talking about, what are the three things that move the needle? I mean, one of the things I found funny is they didn't even list three things. Not only were they not things that were moved, but they didn't even list three things. And then they were listing things like, were not activities that they personally were doing, just the things conceptually that move the needle. And I'm addressing that in the Quality Control Checklist. And so it's just, it's just funny how it works, but it all comes back to this idea that that you ultimately have to figure out your life. So, you know one final thing, and I think we'll save this maybe to next time, but I think we ought to talk about how to use AI and the various systems like chat, GPT or or perplexity, how

to use that on an ongoing basis. And this is coming up because, as I do, this program, this personal growth program for the 18 head coaches here at the University of Texas. And this, this lady that is really sharp, Molly Fletcher. She's, she's like the Jerry Maguire, the female Jerry Maguire. She's a sports agent, really good, and she has a podcast, and so I and she's interviewing a lot of sports people and head coaches in the NFL and that type of thing. And anyway, she did a presentation a couple weeks ago on on on how to use AI, and she brought an expert in. And it is really interesting, the ways that you can use AI that you and I are not even thinking about at the moment, there's various levels, and most people are operating at a very shallow level. But again, this is a topic for another day, but I bet you'll find this interesting.

Don't you think? Oh, absolutely. I mean, it's been a game changer, and I know I have literally just scratched the surface with how I'm utilizing it right now, and I know that there are a lot more ways that I can be leveraging it, but in the ways I'm using it now, I mean, it has seen it saves me hours, you know, even just this weekend, I used it to help put together a proposal, and it was just like that would have taken me hours to put together, and I was able to just have it done In 10 minutes, right? And so anyway, I'm excited to have that conversation and to hear about what you learned from her, okay,

Okay, well, until next time, we'll see you.