Time Freedom: Your best health is hiding in your calendar | DFS 414

And find the button. The hardest part is

finding buttons. Welcome to Destin for Success. I'm your

host Jennifer Takagi, and I'm happy to have a friend of mine

that we met actually in person originally, which is always

shopping that it started out on person. Mo Cooper, and Mo has a

great topic for us today, and that is time freedom. Your best

health is hiding in your calendar. Did I say that right

without looking? Did I get it? It's correct. Very good. Well

done. I know, but you're looking up. I don't know if you want to

look up. No, it's because I'm looking at the camera. So those

of you who are listening to the audio, you're like, "What are

you talking about?

Yeah,

my camera, my kick-ass camera just died for

whatever reason. It'll come back later today.

Yeah,

so I'm having to look at a different place,

and it's killing me to look at it. Yeah,

I know, but I didn't want you to like be like this

through the whole recording because I'm not

in the right spot. Yes, I look. Jennifer

can't make

eye contact.

I know we can't. We can't.

But see, now it's perfect. We're making eye

contact. It's wonderful.

I know. I love it. It's so good. Thanks so much

for pointing that out. It's one of those reminder things.

Thanks.

You're so welcome. I want you to have your best

experience as well. Yeah. Don't we all? That's wonderful. Okay.

So we were talking just before we hit record about a little bit

about what you've been doing of late for a health journey, and

so tell us, like, what is actually hidden in my calendar?

What is hidden in your calendar? Releasing things that don't

serve you, and because how many of us women professionals are

like, but I have to, I have to go to that meeting, I have to

serve that person, I have to show up for that concert, I have

to, have to, have to, have to, and the next thing you know,

your cortisol's through the roof, your face down in a vat of

Haagen Dazs, and because you can't stress, because you

haven't eaten all day, and now you're starving at 3o'clock, and

you completely realize that wait, I'm not on this list

anywhere. And the biggest thing with when you start to really

look at how you're spending your time is you start to kind of

really have a revelation of how it's affecting you-not just your

calendar, but your physical health, and can you relate to

that at all, Jennifer? I can because people get on your

calendar that you may not have wanted on your calendar, and

then you're trying to manage that and deal with that, and

yeah, it becomes really a lot. Yeah, yeah, boundaries are huge,

and we hear about this all the time. Setting boundaries, gotta

have boundaries. I had a business coach say you need to

have boundaries with your clients because they will run

over you. They will be calling to you at 9o'clock at night or

texting you, and and so that was kind of the one of the

realizations because there's always so many of protecting

your time, but really it's protecting your peace. When

you're at peace, you make better decisions. You sleep better.

Your cortisol is lower. Your hormones are on track. You feel

more settled, confident, clear-headed. I mean, and it all

comes from realizing how you spend your time, and not just

time like on your calendar with meetings and things. How much

time are you spending worrying? How much time are you spending

fretting over things beyond your control? So there's so much to

this time element, but really the foundation is how we feel in

here because we're pulled from so many different directions out

here, so when like with my clients, with my group, when I

start to get when they start, they're like, "What do you mean

we're not starting with restricting calories and working

out 17 times a week? And I'm like, "Well, whoa, whoa, we'll

get there. We'll get we'll get to the food and the exercise and

all that. But right now, I want to know how you spend your time,

and it's like fine, and then it's always this. Oh, damn!

Okay, I did not realize I was doing that, or thinking about

that, or spending all this time. And what's beautiful is we don't

want shame. Now, women like us, entrepreneurs, even executive

women, busy moms, but mostly my my my my people are busy exec.

You know, corporate women on the go. There's no shame. There's no

shame in this. Like, there's, but we we are conditioned to

want more and more and more, and so that means do more and more

and more. So we get more and more and more, and then our

we're constantly in that heightened state of cortisol and

stress. And then what? And but if you're building, it's

difficult to build a business, a sound business on a loose, you

know, physical health foundation. I mean, it's doable

for a while, but something's got to give.

Something has got to give. I just recently

went to a Brendon Burchard event for his Ultrambassador. My group

that I've been for several years, and he does two solid

days, and he starts out by running back and forth across a

full theater size stage seven times at the beginning of each

new session after a break.

Yeah,

and he's talked about how much it takes to be

trained physically to be able to do that.

Yeah,

and then like kind of on the side, some

conversations happen, and it was like, well, on go days he

consumes a minimum of 5000 calories a day because you have

to have that much energy to stay up like that. And so, as women,

I'll just speak for myself, and I won't throw everybody under

the bus. But for me, the few times in my life that I have

thought about losing weight and eating healthier, it's always

been a huge calorie deficit. But I think it takes almost 1500

calories a day just for your heart to beat, your lungs to

work for you to be able to breathe and have brain function.

Oh yeah!

So how are you going to do that on 800 or 900

calories a day if then you have to spend so much brain power

doing the amazing work that you do?

Yes, I think of all the women that went to school to

do what they're doing, you know, business school, whatever. You

invested that time to really get clear on how to be good at what

you do, so that you can be successful in business. This is

your number one business. So spending five minutes a day

focusing on what you're going to eat and how you're going to move

doesn't really seem like that big of deal if you've done four

years of college or like it's shifting a mindset out of what

that that diet culture of you have to do all these things and

restrict and everything to really it's more like dating

yourself. So we going like you go to college to get the degree.

When you comes to your health, I don't have time for that. Now,

if you want to have a killer relationship, maybe you're

already in a great relationship. You're gonna do you're gonna do

sweet things for your partner. You're gonna you're gonna lift

them up. You're gonna love them. You're gonna you're gonna make

sure they're healthy and loved, and or like a child, you know,

you're gonna do things, and that's what health is. So it's

the time that you invest, like going to school, but then it's

also nurturing a relationship with yourself, because what kind

of a friend are you if you're all it to yourself? If you're

always putting yourself last, if you had a friend that you

treated the way you treat yourself, always putting them

last, always pushing them off, saying, "I don't have time for

you, but I really want you to be there for me, but I really don't

have time for you, that's that's not going to work. I mean,

you're not going to have a good relationship. So, when it comes

to food and losing weight, it's not about restriction. It's

about having a healthy relationship with food, girl. I

love to eat, and so even on Whole 30, doing we're talking

about Whole 30, I'm like I eat all the eggs and the avocado and

the like all the yummy healthy things that I can eat because I

love food and I make sure they taste really good, and that's

one of the reasons I do what I do because this isn't about

having a what was I going to say? I was thinking it's like

when you have conjugal visits with food, we want to have no,

we want to have a we want to have a sexy relationship with

ourselves. We want to be able to feel good about ourselves and

the choices we're making and the things how we're showing up for

ourselves, and you can do that as a professional. It doesn't

have to be one more thing, but when because when you start

making the subtle shifts, not the extreme that deficit, like

the calorie deficit, like you said, and you start to like

really taste your food and really ask questions like, do I

want this or is this a habit? Like my one of my clients, she's

going to, she's got a family reunion this weekend, and she

goes, everybody's making stuff, and she comes from a good

Southern family, right? She goes, I know what, I want that

tater tot casserole. It's

gonna be good.

I'm like, have the tater tot casserole. Don't tell

yourself you can't eat it because you're gonna feel guilt

and shame, and that's gonna be pouring over it. Enjoy the tater

tot casserole and eat your protein. Make sure you get good

protein in some form, even if it's fried chicken. You know,

like what some form of protein and little greens in there maybe

somewhere. But just but enjoy that, like so. It's not an all

or nothing. And I think tell me with the women you work with,

the busy executives, the busy entrepreneurial women, that all

or nothing thinking. How much does that come into play? It is

incredible how much people live with that

mentality. I was. I don't want to give away too many much

detail because some people will know like who it was, what

happened. But I was having a lovely lunch at a lovely

location, the most spectacular thing, and we had chicken

breasts that had been skewered and grilled like on a you know

little bite-sized pieces. Yeah, yeah. The side that came with it

was French fries. Okay, not the best choice, but you've got this

beautiful chicken, right?

Yeah.

We're eating the chicken. I eat very slowly.

I talk too much, so I eat. You know, when they talk about eat

slowly, I don't know that I could eat any slower, and I'm

not even halfway finished. And the plate was shoved towards the

center of the table, and it was I just eat too much. And I said,

is it not possible to have one meal that's just pleasurable,

yeah.

Without throwing shit on it, yeah. I

don't do that, and I was like, okay, okay, you know, subject

drop. So we talked about it later, like once the the heat

settled, because I obviously did not handle that very well, um,

and it was like, oh gosh, I do live in that mentality. Like I

eat it, I enjoy it, and I push it away. Like she had had 10

French fries. It wasn't like she ate all the chicken and the

fries. She ate all the chicken and a few fries, which is not a

bad thing. Like it's balance. But it was that mentality. Yeah,

I didn't do something perfectly, therefore I'm wrong and

horrible. I've got a wedding coming up, so I have been eating

nothing but salad every day for the last four months, trying to

lose weight. And I'm like, I'll just be fat in the pictures

because that I'm not doing. I am not doing that.

It's that, but this is something that in my group I

love because women come to me and I'm like, we're not dieting,

and they're like, I don't understand, and it's a real

trust exercise. Let me tell you, I'm like, they're like, no, and

so because teaching someone to yeah trust their body and it's

like oh listen to your body yeah that make you make that sound so

easy now it's a process for sure so catching yourself saying like

why do I feel why am I feeling guilty about this like pushing

the thing am I like why am I getting frustrated myself was I

not there when I was eating it so like like I love that you're

eating slowly that's amazing you're absolutely right I mean,

weight is just one indicator of what's going on in your body.

But like, how's your blood pressure? How's your blood

sugar? How's your you know again? How's your stress level?

How's your stress management? Do you even know your stress? Like,

there's so many other components. And so when women

are responding that way, saying like, "Oh, I eat too much,

that's a it's it's this is good. It's good feedback. I like okay.

So so what's happening right now? Tell me what's happening

right now. Like what's what's the feeling behind this? And so

and because we've had these conversations in group, which is

amazing because I love group coaching because because one

person will say that I didn't remind the time. One person will

say that and another person will be like, oh my god, yeah, I

totally get that. I feel that, and I never knew that group

coaching could be so effective that way, and which is amazing

because I'm like, oh my god, this is actually working. And so

you think one on one is the way to go, but

that whole group is phenomenal for sure.

It really is because we're all in the trenches

together, looking up to the light, you know. So it's, it's,

and the light, literally and figuratively, like feeling

lighter, just as physically and mentally. Like I have a client;

she's got shingles right now, so she's kind of stalled out a

little bit. But girl, we are working on healing. We're

working on making purposeful rest time, saying no to things

that are stressing her out, and she's so frustrated. And I said,

"I want you to have some grace with yourself. You give grace to

everyone else. I want you to have grace with yourself. And so

she messaged me this morning. You're right. I'm gonna have

grace for myself. I'm gonna enjoy the. I'm gonna enjoy the

weekend. I'm gonna rest when I need to. I'm not gonna feel

guilty, girl. I don't know where this was? Is it was it the sugar

and spice everything that I say that we felt like we needed to

take everything on and not say anything about it, like that's

just like so untethering ourselves from that mentality is

huge. But when we do, when you can just eat and like ah that

was good, okay, I'm good, I'm good. Like so, push it away and

say, "I am done. I feel good. That was yummy, and you move on.

You know, and it's awesome. And it's it's it's a beautiful thing

to see. So you, so what did you learn from that? You said you

didn't handle it well. What what is what would you do? I don't

know how you handled it, but what would you do different?

Well, I was a little snappy. I'll just say

because I was like, "Do you have to ruin every meal? Like, I'm

not finished, and you're already, you know,

yeah.

So I would have not, I would have not said it

that way. I would have, you know, been gentler, kinder about

it. But it was just like, it it triggered me because it just hit

me like out of the clear. But I was like, "Oh my god,

yeah!

But like, let's just enjoy this and move on. But

one thing I want to point out that you said a few minutes ago

was about the time involved. And as you know, I deem myself the

12 minute success coach.

Yes.

And when somebody asked me about eating,

it was like okay, so you make your grocery list. How many

minutes can that possibly take?

Yeah, you have to

drive to the grocery store. I'm not going to

count that because I don't know where you live, how long it

takes to get there. But most grocery stores are made where

all the healthy things are on the perimeter.

Yes,

you've got all the the dairy, you've got the

fruits and vegetables. You've got the meat. So if you stay on

the outside and that's the only place you shop,

yeah,

you can do a week's worth of grocery shopping

in 12 minutes. I don't know about the lines. It might take

you longer to check out, but we put in our head that

everything's going to take a long time, and it doesn't have

to.

Yes, yes. I have these little timers that I was

just at a women's event that everybody got these little

timers. Oh, I love

them.

I know I can't find a place to put my branding on

there, but it's like take five minutes for yourself, and people

are like, I don't have five minutes. If you don't have five

minutes, then take 20 because if you don't have five minutes for

yourself, and you really need time. And I love what you're

saying here, is because yeah, that 12 minutes. We yeah, we

think we build up in our head that things take much longer

than they do, and sometimes things do take time. But when

you break it down into pun intended bite-sized pieces, we

can get so much more done. So I use the Tabata method of, or

sorry, Pomodoro method of working when on like normal work

days. So I work for 25 minutes, get up and move around for five

minutes. It's amazing what I can do in five minutes. You know, go

you know, do some dishes or straighten up the living room or

you know yell at my kid to do something or something. And so

and when I am on during those days, oh my God, I get so much

done. I feel so much calmer. I'm getting up and moving around.

I'm not just locked into my desk for. But so we underestimate the

power of five minutes. That's why I love Mel Robbins, the five

minute rule, because it's or and how she says you know when

you're talking yourself out of something, five second rule:

54321, go! Like, don't think about it; just do it. And it's

so powerful. So getting it, getting women out of their way,

and starting with time, and and and using that to calm your

nervous system, so that you can perform better in not just in

your life, but in your business, it's really powerful. So I love

what you do because it's time-based. Well, back

at you, so amazing. So as we're coming to

the end of our little time together, how can people get a

hold of you?

So I have. I'm. You can get a hold of me, Mo Cooper

Coaching, or well, if I really want Mo, I had to change my

website, MoMindBodySoul.com. So moindbody soul.com. That's my

that's my website, and I also in the I have my five minute

morning reset. So you start your day. The first five minutes of

your day often impacts how the rest of your day goes. So I

created this for busy women, so you know how to start your day,

and you can access that through my website, or if you have the

link, you can put it in the show notes, which I included in my

in your info. Oh my God, that'll be so great!

And so people are like, "Well, I'm on a phone. Blah blah blah.

Yeah, pick up your phone out of your pocket, out of your purse,

and click the show notes. It's super easy. It's like nothing's

worse.

Yes, I know. Yeah, you got to make it easy. I'm the

biggest culprit. If it's not easy, like you know, Kim always

says, "If it's not fun, I don't want to do it. That's my motto.

Like this is just it. Like people think, "Oh, you just live

the strict life. Like, no, I like I like Netflix and

chilling, but not how the kids mean it. I mean, like actually,

yeah, like

we would mean

it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, and hanging with my

girlfriends and all that fun stuff. Like, but it's just

finding that balance and finding that finding that carving out

that time for you, pouring into you because you are a most

precious child of God and worthy of that time and attention, and

because we want to live healthy. So it's it's not just about

weight. So how's your health, Jennifer?

It's good.

Good.

People are jealous over my blood pressure.

Like it's ridiculous.

That's awesome. I never judge someone's health by

the way they they you look fabulous, you know. But weight

is not an indicator, you know. Like you look healthy. You do.

You look healthy. I mean, you see these. Oh my God! These

people on the GLP ones, all the slow. Reason they're just like

walking skeletons, and they're losing weight so fast their skin

is hanging off of them. I'm like, this this is not healthy,

guys. This is this is not good. So, yeah,

you know who

I think the most powerful woman for women's

health is right now for body image in the world, Alona Mayor,

the gal that plays rugby, Alona, Alana, Elona, Mayor. She plays

rugby. She is fit. She is big.

Yeah,

embraces it. She was just in a swimsuit

addition thing and walks out in a string bikini with everything

out, and she's like, "I am fit, I am healthy. I lift weights. I

play rugby. In the first eight seconds of a match, she like

took a girl out. Like she ran down that field and just bam,

and that gal went down. I was like, holy moly! Like there's no

way I would do that. But yeah, it's it. I mean, there's just so

much more to health. Like you say, there

really is. There really is. Like look at your

numbers, not the number on the scale, just the number on your

scale. But like you know, like how are you carrying it? What's

your blood pressure? What's your blood? All those things, and

that's what's beautiful is because and I something I really

lean into. Last thing is non-scale wins. Like how how do

you feel? You know, it's really about just feeling confident and

happy and in your body, and just light physically, mentally, and

emotionally. You know, so because we all carry our weight

differently. So

this has been a great conversation, Mo. So go to

mo mind body soul.com. Mo, this has been awesome. I can't wait

to talk to you again soon.

I know, Jennifer. We got to hang out soon. It'll be

amazing. I love it. All right, it went great. Thanks so much.

Appreciate you.

I'm Jennifer Takagi with Destin for Success,

and I look forward to connecting with you soon.