Knowing Yourself Isn't Enough | DFS 421

Welcome to Destin for Success. I'm your

host Jennifer Takagi, and I want to consider continuing the

conversation that we had with Dale last week. Dale talked

about assessments and understanding who you are, and I

love assessments. I've taken a bunch of them. I've taught a

bunch of them. The two main ones are disc behavioral profiles and

change style indicator, like what's your response to change.

But here's what I've realized: knowing I'm an awakening

visionary, or my disorder or change. Knowing the scores

doesn't actually change anything unless I do something

differently because I know it. So assessments give us

information. They give us information about how we operate

in the world, and I want to start right here by saying there

is no good or bad. There is no good or bad. It just is what it

is, and it's information. And with that information, we can

choose to do things differently, or not, or not. So, because I

don't know your specific disc profile, we'll talk about mine.

My disc profile, I am 96% I, as in influence others. So one way

of considering influencing others is like you're the

cheerleader. You get everybody on board. You're standing around

the water cooler. If you're old enough to know what a water

cooler is. You're standing around the water cooler, and

you're talking about different things and getting people on

board. There's a new project at work. You are trying to explain

to your colleagues why they should embrace it, why they

should get on board with it. That's an I. Now, sometimes it

can be too much. Sometimes people think you come across as

a used car salesman, which there are some good used car salesmen.

But do you get the analogy? Have you ever heard that analogy?

Like being very very pushy. You got to get it. Got to get it.

Got to get it. So as a super high I, I have learned that not

everybody wants me up in their face on why they should do what

I say they should do, when I say they should do it, how they

should do it. Like I've learned that. I'm also a high C. I is my

highest, and then followed by not C. C is my lowest. I cannot

bring it up. The next is S for steadiness. People that are high

in S have close friendships. They maintain friendships over

the long haul, and close family friends. So they want to do

things with family and close friends. The D's on the other

hand, on the other side, they're super fast paced and they make

decisions quickly. And because they make decisions so quickly,

they like leave everybody else like out in the dust. C is for

compliance. We need those people. We need those high C's.

We need the CPAs of the world. We need the attorneys. These are

the people that are going to keep people like me out of jail,

right? They're going to help keep me in the lines. Someone

asked, "How on earth I ever worked for the federal

government being a high I and a super low C, like I've never

scored higher than eight out of 100 on compliance, and I said,

"But my eyes so high, I want the accolades. I want to be called

to the front of the room and given an award. That's what I

want. So I did the work that had to be done, and I followed all

the rules. So when we have the information, for instance, that

I'm a high I, if I don't address it and decide how it's making my

life better, it doesn't do me any good. It's not very helpful

unless I make decisions about it, now if we start focusing on

all of our weaknesses and how to rise that raise them up, have

them rise up from the ashes, kind of like my compliance

piece. I can't make that score higher. There's no point in me

focusing on it. What served me really well was having a team

around me who was really good at it, and then we could get the

job done because everybody had their own skills and abilities.

So if you spend all your time focusing on what you don't do

well, you can lose some of your edge on the things that you do

really well.

It's like in Strength Finders, that is really talking a lot,

and I know minimal about it. They talk a lot about focus on

your strength, focus on what you're strong in, and let the

other kind of dwindle away a little bit. Now, if you're an

entrepreneur like I am, I've had to learn a lot of things that I

didn't really plan to have to learn, but I'm a solopreneur.

Sometimes you have to learn how to do things until you're in a

position to hire somebody to help you, and so I've had to

kind of learn things and do things. But that doesn't mean I

have to do it all the time. I don't have to do it all the

time. So focus on the things you're really good at and do

them better. By being aware of how you show up in the world and

how people view you, can help you do it even better. Decide

how you want to show up. Decide how you want people to see you.

When I ask people, like I haven't ever actually said, "So,

what do you think about me? How do you, you know, how do you

view me? But when people are kind enough to say, "You're very

inclusive, I appreciate how you bring people together. That

thrills me. I never want to be left out. I was at a conference

recently, and when I walked in to sit down, I had like staked

out a spot at a table where I wanted to sit, and I got my

food. And when I came back, there was a woman that had been

sitting by herself like for five or seven minutes, nobody had

come up to her table to join her. It was a table of four, and

I knew I had several people coming to my table. And I said,

"Would you like to join us? And she was like, "Yes, please. And

we ended up having a lovely conversation. She met more

people. It was really good, but being inclusive means a lot to

me. I often felt like I was left out, overlooked, ignored. So,

what can I learn about myself? If I don't like feeling that

way, I want to bring other people in. I have been to the

same event several years in a row, and what I noticed, people

came to that event as a large group, and they stayed in their

large group, and they didn't include anybody. So the first

year I went, I was just a fish out of water, literally. The

next year I met a few more people, so I had a few more

interactions that were good. By the third year, I had been there

enough that people in these other groups, and they wanted to

be with their coaches and their colleagues started kind of

letting me in a little bit, and somebody said, "Well, I don't

think I'm going to go again. I'm not really getting enough out of

it. Do you want to go again? And I said, "Absolutely, because I

think this year I know enough people in the various groups

that I'll be able to make even deeper connections with them. I

don't like to be left out, so sometimes I include people that

I may not want to have to hang out with. But since I don't want

to be left out, I don't want to leave anybody else out. So when

you become aware of how you operate, then you can make a

choice to do something differently. What's the next

step? What can you do differently? There, my husband

and I had a gathering at our house, and it was back when my

parents were still alive, and my dad was there, and my dad got

his food and sat down on the back porch and just watched the

whole watch the whole gathering take place around him, and we

rode to work together for many years. And so I'm talking to my

dad, and he says, "Man, I just love it how your husband

literally went to each and every person." And had a at least a

short conversation with them. He included all of them. People

think I'm social. No, my husband is even more so than I am. We

walk into a party and and they call me mrs. Bill. They don't

even know my name. I'm okay with that.

I picked him. It's fine. I'm not offended. But my dad goes, man.

I wish I were more like that. My dad was very much an introvert,

so he wasn't going to walk in to be the life of the party. My

husband just walks in, and he just is right. I mean, that's

just how he shows up. If I want to have better interactions with

people, there are things I can do. I can look at the list of

people who are going to be there. I can identify two or

three that I would really like to get to know. I can choose to

follow up. I can set this up in little short. Oh, wait for it.

Were you ready for it? 12 minute increments, and decide to keep

up. I got home from this amazing event in Scottsdale, and Monday

afternoon I got home Sunday night. Monday afternoon I

started texting several of the women that I met at the event. I

want to keep up with them. I want to get to know them better.

That's what I need to do to move forward. One of the ladies asked

me what I needed to do to move my business forward, and I said

I need to reach out to people who've hired me in the past, and

remind them I'm still here. I'm still here. I would love to

serve you further. And she goes, and when are you gonna do that?

What's the date? I was like, okay, great. So I did. I spent

my 12 minutes. I went into my system. I found the people's

names and email addresses, and my next step will be to reach

out to them. Things aren't seem overwhelming, and it's just

because we haven't done it, we just haven't done it. So you

know a little bit more about yourself on your purpose

archetype. I'm an awakening visionary. One of the things

about awakening visionaries is that we need to focus on

something. We need to focus so that we know what we want to do

next. Like, what do we want to do next? How do we want to show

up? How do we want to show up? Who do we want to be? What do we

want to be known for? We often think, oh, your brand just is

built around you. We just do what we're gonna do, right? No,

we need to decide how we want to be known, what we want to do.

I'm the 12 minute success coach. I have introduced myself like

that for several years now, and at this one event, they were

like, "What do you do? And I'm like, "I'm your 12 minute

success coach. And they're like, "Oh yeah, I've heard you say

that. That's what I want to be known for. I want to be known

for the person who helps you take your big, beautiful goal,

your dreams, whatever you have imagined you want your life to

be, and I want to help you break it down into 12-minute

increments so you actually can get the thing done, and then

when you hit that resistance and you're not doing the thing, as

an energy healer, I can clear what's holding you back so you

can keep moving forward. If you're ready to start moving

forward with whatever your purpose archetype is, with

whatever your disc profile is, with whatever your human design

is, and you want to start breaking your fabulous goals

into smaller increments so you can get them done, and you want

support doing that? Reach out to me at yoursuccesscall.com. Book

your call. Let's talk about it. Let me help you break that down

so you can become the person you want to be, and not what

somebody else expected you to be. I'm Jennifer Takagi, and I

look forward to connecting with you soon.