The Hidden Patterns Keeping You From Fully Living

WSC Intro/Outro: This is when spirit calls, and you on your journey are in the right place. This show is about magic, miracles, and meaning shared through stories, interviews, and channeled messages. We have so much to share about who you are and your divine mission here on the earth. Let's get to it. When Spirit calls is right now.

Rev. Rose Hope: Our guest on the show today is Tara Lee Ayotte. Tara Lee is the founder of Lotus and Light, a speaker, retreat leader, best-selling author, and creator of immersive transformational experiences that blend sound consciousness exploration, nervous system awareness, and meaningful human connection. For over a decade, Terra Lee has guided 1000s of self-aware seekers to retreats, workshops, and transformational experiences designed to help them move beyond the emotional survival and reconnect with a more grounded, authentic, and fully alive way of being. Known for her ability to bridge profound insight with practical transformation, Terri Lee weaves together powerful storytelling, intuitive insight, immersive sound, and nervous system wisdom to inspire lasting shifts in perspective, self-trust, emotional resilience, and possibility. Her work challenges conventional ideas about healing, growth, and transformation, inviting a deeper conversation about what it truly means to be human in a world that rarely slows down. Through lotus and light, she creates experiences that leave people feeling more connected to themselves, more confident in their inner knowing, and inspired to truly love life again.

Hello, everybody. Of course, it's another edition of When Spirit Calls, and I'm always so happy to be with you here because I get to interview some of the most incredible guests, and today is no different. I have Tara Lee in the house. Hello,

Tara Lee Ayotte: Hi, DeeAnne.

Rev. Rose Hope: I'm so happy to be with you. For those that don't know, you and I have been friends for quite a while, and I want to just share a quick little backstory of how we met because I think it's so powerful when we open ourselves up to possibility. Because you were on a plane and you ended up sitting next to somebody, and that sparked a conversation. And that person on the plane then connected you with me. And when you think about this, you guys, and I really want to encourage all of you to think about how incredible it is when you run into people or when you meet new people that are unexpected. How incredible is it that the whole universe had to conspire for you to be there at the right time in the right place in order to make the connections that you've made? Because we have now been friends for isn't it well over a decade? We're over a decade strong. Yeah, and in fact, we become such close friends. I got to officiate your wedding, and so it's been such a gift for me. And it just continues to remind me that we are being taken care of. That God indeed is the best logistics coordinator ever. So I'm so happy that this experience for us, knowing each other from a decade ago, has now brought us full circle to this moment here.

Tara Lee Ayotte: It has been such a gift, and knowing you and being part of this journey and just awakening together is such a special, special time.

Rev. Rose Hope: Ah, thank you. I have loved walking the path with you, and you are one of those people that has been ahead of the curve, and so I've witnessed you, you know, really persevering and and standing out in in front of all these people, leaning into a world of energy and healing and spirituality, and and you've persevered through that, and I and I think that that is so powerful. But I want everyone to understand kind of your process in your journey and how you come to being, you know, the incredible guide and teacher that you are today. So, would you tell us kind of the the upbringing that you went through and how that's shaped you to who you are today?

Tara Lee Ayotte: Well, I think that story could probably take a pretty long time. I've had a pretty interesting upbringing and and childhood, but a lot of it just really went back to this idea that I grew up in a family that renovated homes. Right, we bought and sold these dilapidated homes that nobody loved, that needed extensive work, and everyone just left all of their problems behind for us to deal with, and that just became such a part of my life. And I think it really became part of who I was and an identity of who I was that I didn't even realize how enmeshed in this lifestyle I was until one day when I started. You know, buying and selling my own homes, renovating them and whatnot. That I realized I had sold a house, and we needed somewhere to move fairly quick. And so we didn't really have a lot of time to buy another place and to renovate it and to move in. And so my husband said to me, Terry, I think this house is just going to have to be one that's you know it's already fixed it's already done and I thought this is really strange I've never lived in a house like that my entire life but I'm like well I guess so it's time so we ended up finding this place and I mean you talk about divine timing it was like the universe had like conspired in our favor to create this timing of this home for us to buy. However, we were away on our honeymoon, and so we had to decide whether or not to buy this house sight unseen. And you know, lo and behold, get into a bit of a bidding war, and they call us back and said, "You guys are the lucky owners of this home, and so a little bit nervous and excited at the same time, I still remember the first day that we moved into this house, and I'm sitting on the sofa, and I'm looking out this bay window, and the sun is just shining in, and I have my cup of tea, and I'm just feeling this Overwhelming gratitude for my life, for this home, for everything that was, and I literally felt in that moment that there was nothing

else that needed to be done. And when I recognized that, it was like, oh, this is the first time in my life that I've ever been able to move into a home that was so well loved. The people that we bought it from were the original owners. They raised their family there. They took so much pride and joy in this home, and they left that behind to us with the beautiful message. The house was so clean, like you could just move right in, and I didn't have to clean up anyone else's mess. I didn't have to take on all of the density or the sadness or the guilt or like anything that people left behind. There was just so much love. And then that's when I realized in my life that I had been treating my life like all of these houses. I was treating myself like a renovation project. Ooh, what an analogy! And I would imagine you also attracted other people that had renovation projects in their own spirit, right? Well, I felt like I had to just help and carry everyone. So it wasn't just the houses that I was renovating and bringing back to life. It was people. It was friends. It was family. And I felt so responsible for everybody else that I felt like I needed to carry that weight of the world on my shoulders, and I needed to

Rev. Rose Hope: Fix everything, and that's a tall order to carry. It is. I can so relate to that fixer, you know, because I thought that was part of my definition of who I was. So you know, I was also looking for renovation projects in humans, right? Of like, oh, I know how I can help them. I know how I can fix that up, right, and make them a new, clean, better version of themselves. And one of the things I've realized too is that we're all on our own journey. And if we treat ourselves as though we always have work to do, then it can get very heavy and exhausting pretty quickly. And of course, we can understand that there's an evolutionary process, and we want to participate in that, but when we're looking at it from the lens of there's something wrong and I need to fix it, and we're in that hyper fixated place, sometimes we actually miss the living. Yeah,

Tara Lee Ayotte: yeah. We create these identities around it. Like I had this identity as this helper and this healer, and what I was doing, and not that there's anything wrong with wanting to help people and heal people. It's such a beautiful gift and calling. But when you start getting so immersed in it that you forget to factor yourself into the equation of it, it becomes so exhausting, and you become burnt out from it. Like we can mistake self awareness for freedom all too easily.

Rev. Rose Hope: Ooh, that really landed for me because I always would brag about my ability to be so self aware, and yet in that self awareness came the criticism and the beating up of, and the oh my God! I'm a continuous renovation project, and then get lost in that. So this is really beautiful that this came to the surface. So Tara Lee, you moved into this house, and by the way, I got to give a little backstory because you didn't mention this, but there was a bidding war on this house, as you said. However. Can you tell people how you ended up actually getting this house? Because it wasn't that you had the highest offer.

Tara Lee Ayotte: You know, the funny thing was we weren't even going to put an offer in on this house because we were out at Mont Tremblant in the Laurentians in Quebec, and you know we're just on our vacation. And I thought, you know what? I don't want another disappointment. We had bid on a bunch of houses and we didn't get them because the housing market was a little crazy at that time. And you know, something just said, you know, Terri Lee, you you got to put an offer in. My mom called me and said, Terry, the house is beautiful. Just offer on it. And I said, you know what? It's probably going to go for way more than what we want to spend. And she's like, you just never know. So we said a prayer and just you know asked spirit and said, you know, if this house is meant to be for us, like move heaven and earth and make it happen. And so when we put the offer in, something felt like I needed to send them a letter telling them about like us being on our honeymoon, that we fell in love with their house, we didn't even see it in person, and that we just really felt like it was home to us. And so we submitted this letter, and of course put our offer in. And then they called us back and said, "Okay, can you up your offer?" And we said, "Okay, well, this is our max." And they said, "Can you go just a little bit higher? They are so thrilled with this letter. They want you to have this house, and I said this is our max. Like this is where we're at, and so it was so amazing how everything just worked out because it was like everyone came together to make this house happen for us. That the real estate agents actually ended up taking a little bit off of their commission to get us up a little bit higher, so that we could.

Rev. Rose Hope: Hey, that I forgot. So I remember the letter, but the fact that the realtors both decided to let go of some of their commission to make sure you got the house, like this, to me is such a beautiful story because it's a reminder that what is meant for you will always find you. And how often do we throw in the towel without realizing that there's all of these allies that we don't even know that are conspiring for us? So I love that that it happened for you in that way because what a beautiful reminder for us to continue speaking our hearts and continue asking for what we want because that which is aligned will definitely line up for us.

Tara Lee Ayotte: I think some of the big parts of that too is around setting your intentions around what do you want, what do you want to create in your life, and then having those intentions set up with where you're going, because awareness restores choice. It doesn't necessarily always mean it's going to turn out the way that you wanted it to, or how you wanted things to happen. But life unfolds in a way that it continuously gives to you and serves up to you what that intention becomes. And for us, like we talked about, even how I ended up meeting you, that whole plane story goes a little bit deeper because I was coming back from a Matt Con retreat. So I'd had this huge awakening and like evolution in my life over this week of being out in Portland, Oregon, and I'm coming to the airport, and I'm tired. Like it's been a long week, and I go and I, you know, I get to the gate, and they tell us that our plane is not coming from Edmonton. That it's that it broke down there, so they're like, we're sending another plane, but it's much smaller. So a bunch of people got bumped off of that flight. Wow! I was one of those people who got bumped off that flight, and I was like, oh well, that really sucks. And I said, well, you know, if there's any way that you can get me on this flight, I'd be really grateful. So I left her with my boarding pass, and I went and sat down. Here they are now loading the new plane, getting new people, getting everybody on, and then they're they're coming to the end. And I thought, well, I better go back and get my boarding pass because I'm going to need it to get on another flight. So I went back to get my boarding pass, and she hands me two tickets, and I'm looking at it, and I'm like, oh, I'm like, why do I have two passes? And she goes, oh, I forgot to tell you, you got on this flight. She says you better get on. They're leaving right away. So I was like, oh my gosh, like this is great. So I get on this flight, and of course

it's full, and there's one seat left for me in this like in this middle seat, and I sit next to this girl, and we start talking, and she's also coming back from this Matt Khan retreat, which is so bizarre. Like that we would have met, but how it all came together for us to meet, like the universe will align and move. And change things to make sure that you get to where you need to go. You meet who you need to meet, and life's experiences like unfold in these really magical ways when you're open to those opportunities. Now, if I would have gone up to that desk like other people had gone, and they were super angry and upset, and you know, getting rageful at the poor stewardess. Do you think that she probably would have went out of her way to try to get them a ticket on the next flight? No, probably not. But because I just accepted that, like, hey, this is it. I wonder what magic, what possibility, and what opportunities can unfold from this. And I mean, it lit the way to us now having an over decade long friendship that has been so amazing.

Rev. Rose Hope: It has been. Thank you for catching everybody up on those stories because I think they're really important, and I think more now than ever we have we have got to anchor into the trusting of the process, especially when so much chaos is happening around us, and that willingness to know that God has a masterful plan that I get to be part of, and I'm going to trust that if I'm not meant to be on that flight, that I won't be on the flight. If I am, I will be. And look at the beauty that happens when we're open to it. So that's a beautiful reminder for all of us that when things seemingly are not going the way we think they should or we want them to, to actually open yourself up to what other magic and possibilities available to me instead, because usually it's better. Usually it's better. You said something really profound there too. You said awareness restores choice, and I thought that was really potent because I think the more aware that we are of our who we are, what's going on, then we can make conscious choice in how we're responding to that experience or that environment around us. So I thought that was really powerful, and I wanted to just bring that to the surface. So, okay, so you've had this life, you've got this beautiful analogy of you know renovating homes and thinking about that in terms of our own selves and our own renovations. And so, what what are the messages that you really want to share with people around that, and what you've learned from that experience and that revelation for yourself.

Tara Lee Ayotte: Well, I think one of the biggest takeaways that was so profound for me that I love to bring forward is this idea: is that you can keep growing without making your life a waiting room for so long.

Rev. Rose Hope: Oh wait, wait! I need to hold. I need to hold on that because let me tell you, I see a lot of this happening, where people are like, "I have so much work to do, so I cannot do anything outside of me," and this happens a lot. We get kind of stuck in that. Okay, now elaborate. Oh,

Tara Lee Ayotte: I think, and that's what I was going to say is that I was stuck in that for so long. I felt I needed to perfect my message. I needed to perfect my body. I needed to be in the right situation or have enough education, and I just never took these steps forward. And I ruminated in all these ideas, and I took on all of this healing as an identity. Like I needed to continuously heal, and I realized finally, like you can understand your wounds, but still be living in the same pattern.

Rev. Rose Hope: Aha! So you can be aware of those blind spots and those wounds, but still continue to cycle. And and it is true. And in fact, sometimes again, if we hyperfixate on those wounds, then we kind of actually stay in the loop, or we get so distracted by the fixing of ourselves that again we miss out on the living.

Tara Lee Ayotte: So I think in order to like overcome this and get to the other side of it, we have to realize is like healing creates the space, but living fills

Rev. Rose Hope: it. Oh, oh gosh, you've got some really good ones, Tara Lee. I like these insights have like I've sat there. I've had many years to ruminate. But how brilliant is that? That healing creates the space for us to fill it with living, and I I think that that's so brilliant because I think a lot of people spend a lot of time cycling in the healing, but forgetting about the living piece, and they go hand in hand. Like I can be on my healing journey still on certain aspects of my life, and I can still be helping people over here, and I can still be writing a book over here, and I can still be you know speaking over here, and I I think we do forget that.

Tara Lee Ayotte: Yeah, and we just never know whose life that we're gonna touch. I mean, it doesn't always have to look like some big grand moment, right? It can be like those moments where you're in the grocery store and you just see someone in line that maybe looks a little sad that day, and you just in. Say hello, and you just maybe brighten their day and give them that inspiration to keep going. Like there's so many pieces that we don't know how far our impact can travel, and sometimes it's just the smallest thing that makes the biggest difference.

Rev. Rose Hope: In fact, it usually is, right? Yeah, beautiful. I love that. Okay, what else you got in that, in all that juicy goodness?

Tara Lee Ayotte: Well, I think like my life, like growing up through this this whole renovation mess, and and recognizing how much people leave behind. You know, I think we all feel like you know, healing is that destination. Like we think, I'm going to get to the other side of it, right? I'm going to get to the other side of of that pain, of that suffering. But you know, like we feel like we're not worthy to live until we are like that fully healed human being. And it's such a strange place to live, but I feel like I see so many people in this space, and so part of the the role that I play is really helping people fall back in love with their lives. I like to wake up with that commitment to factor themselves into their own lives, and we do that by being able to see those hidden patterns that are underneath everything that's really guiding our life, and most of the time we don't know what we don't know.

Rev. Rose Hope: Yeah, this is interesting because I do know that I've got some blind spots. Like we all have blind spots, yeah. And so when we talk about you know those blind spots, Terri Lee. How do we even know how to find them? Like, is there a process that you go through to like dig in and find those blind spots? Like, what does that look like for us to find our blind spots, or is that where we look at other people getting coaching support and teachers like you to help us to see those blind spots, or is there a process that you go through that could help people kind of identify maybe some areas where where they can have more awareness?

Tara Lee Ayotte: Well, first, I think everyone should have a mentor. Everyone needs someone that can see outside of them. Like often, when we're steeped in our own life, we can't see the forest for the trees. You know, like we we need someone that has an outside perspective. That's really helpful. Part of the work that I do is creating awareness for people so that they can start seeing those old patterns in their life, and I do that through a lot of like intuitive guidance and connection in that way. But then also opening up what's called the akashic records, and that's your soul level remembrance of consciousness from all the lifetimes that you've had. That is either impacting you now or creating memories of inhibiting you from really stepping into who you fully are. So through that awareness, we create choice, and then choice becomes these activation pieces where we realign your soul and who you are back to really that original blueprint. So I use different things like sound therapy, coaching, and intuition, and the akashic records to achieve that.

Rev. Rose Hope: Beautiful. Yeah, I'm with you. I think we all need mentors and allies in our back corner to show us the things that we, you know, maybe have not seen yet. One of the things that I know for myself that helps me identify my blind spots is when I feel constricted or what someone might call triggered when someone does something or when I have an experience, is that part of the awareness process to identify kind of maybe some of those triggers, which would then lead to the blind spot? Well, we look at like those patterns of where you're feeling stuck in your life, and so sometimes those can look like triggers. Sometimes it can look like bigger patterns that you know you've done the work, but you still don't understand why you're not feeling at home in your life. Yeah, yeah, and I think for a lot of us, you know, we might feel some of that where we're feeling like, hey, I'm aware of, I'm actually aware of all these patterns, but now I'm just cycling through, or I feel like I've done the work, but I'm in the same spot, you know. And do you have any advice for someone who's been feeling like they're they've done the work, they're in the same spot, and they're just kind of sitting in that holding pattern? Is there anything that you do that helps you kind of like shift out of that?

Tara Lee Ayotte: Well, I think one of the biggest things is like I realized like the freedom I was searching for began the moment that I stopped treating myself like a renovation project, and I think it starts with making that choice and being dedicated to making that shift in your life. And you don't always have to know what it's going to look like and how it's all going to turn out. But you have to be committed and willing to say, "I'm not going to do this anymore," or "I'm not choosing to create these same patterns." You know, we've all heard the idea of like insanity is continuing the same patterns over and over again. If you want something different in your life, you're going to have to do something different in your life. And as simple as that sounds, it's a very profound state of consciousness when we choose to cross

Rev. Rose Hope: through that doorway into something else. Now, really, what you're saying is you're asking people to make a conscious choice to make some changes. And I know for a lot of people, change is like, oh, change, oh, that feels scary and da da da da da. But I don't think it needs to be as big as people think it is. So when you are leaning into like making some changes, are you a big step person, a little step person? Like, what's your suggestion for those people that maybe even have that resistance to change? They know they want to change. They're they're aware of what's going on, and they they're making a choice to change, but yet they're having some resistance there.

Tara Lee Ayotte: Yeah, and I think we all go through that, right? We get comfortable in these positions, and I think that's often what happens in life is we try to hold on to things for so long to say, okay, I still want this in my life, and then eventually, you know, the universe gives us the boot, and you know we have to get out there. So one of the the ideas that came to me in my own process, because I'm a stubborn Taurus, so change for me is very slow, and I like to take things incrementally. Is that you know peace feels boring when you've spent a lifetime surviving, and I think often we've all been in that place of survival. And so when we look at things incrementally, it's what is one small change you can bring in that is going to make your nervous system feel safe today. Ooh, I like that.

Rev. Rose Hope: I really like that, and I really like that you said peace feels boring when you are used to being unsafe or in a state of that fight or flight, right? So I'm gonna sit with that one too because I do get bored sometimes, and I am a very busy person, believe it or not. But the minute that I'm sitting still for more than a few minutes, it's like this energy of boredom. And so, what you did there, what you said, just landed in my spirit of like, oh, it's because I don't really know how to be in that peaceful state state for a prolonged period of time because I I never had

Tara Lee Ayotte: it right, and I lived in that exact same thing, like I never really had a home. Nothing ever felt like home to me. We would be unpacking and then repacking, or you know, right after. So I became in this constant state of like vigilance with my nervous system, and it was that same thing. I never felt like I could just sit or just be, and for so long, and I think you can resonate with this, and I'm sure probably a ton of the listeners will resonate with this. Is like you always feel like you're having to take on something more. What is the next thing you can do to be productive? What is the next course? What is the next healing modality? And all those things are beautiful, and they can be so helpful and so healing. However, sometimes the biggest shifts that we experience are these very mundane, slow process ideas and concepts of just sitting with what we really are, and that is for me the underlying part of what I bring forward for people is to allow them to see these underlying patterns that maybe they weren't able to sit with or or look at on their own. And when we move through that process, it becomes a very quick unraveling of what's been holding you back, and all of a sudden you start to feel so much lighter. You start to feel like you have more energy, you have more connection, more clarity. The brain fog is gone. Like you're now in alignment with your highest destiny.

Rev. Rose Hope: It's beautiful. I love this conversation so much. There's so much of this that resonated so deeply for me, but we are coming to a close now. So, is there anything else that you needed to express or say before we kind of move into our kind of final piece here?

Tara Lee Ayotte: I just think like people just need to come back home to themselves, and it's a journey that we're all walking each other home, and we're all finding this path back to who we truly were. And so I feel honored to to walk that path with you and with you know all the clients and people that come into my life to be part of this beautiful unfolding.

Rev. Rose Hope: I love this mission. Of bringing one another home, and I like to think that I've created a fairly well lit home for myself and my body and my temple here. But I I know as well that there is so much more opportunity not to come, you know, continue renovating my home, but to actually love and appreciate all that my home already is, and I feel like that's a core of your message: is to recognize, like, you are home, you are divine perfection as you are. There's nothing you need to renovate, but rather for you to become aware of things about you and allow yourself to make conscious choice about how you want to create a life that feels like home all the time.

Tara Lee Ayotte: Yes, and that's such a piece of my own journey. Is like is that realization that I had been renovating myself for so long that I forgot to move into my life, and now I've moved into my life, and I'm starting to share that that joy, that connection, and that wisdom with others, so that they can find that joy in their life as well.

Rev. Rose Hope: Start living, man. Start living. We only got this life. I love that. So if someone is ready for taking that next step and for making some more conscious choice about their own home and what they are creating for their lives. What do you have in store for them?

Tara Lee Ayotte: Well, I'd love to share with people and connect with them and just see where their life journey has taken them. So I'd love to offer an intuitive strategy session. It's completely complimentary. It's just a 30-minute connection where we can jump in together and look at what some of those deeper patterns are. Where has life not been flowing for you? If you've done the work, you feel like you know you you have so much figured out. You know yourself so well, but yet you still haven't landed in that place in your life. That's what these sessions are all about. So just bring me a place, I guess, where you're stuck or at a crossroads, and in this 30 minutes, we're gonna look at those deeper patterns and what's actually shaping them.

Rev. Rose Hope: Oh, what a treat for all of our listeners! I hope that you guys lean into that complimentary experience with Tara Lee. She is absolutely amazing, and I say that not just because she's my friend, but because I know the power of the work that she does. Thank you so much, Tara Lee, for enlightening us. And you have some really great one-liners. I gotta say, like some of the things you said were just like, oh, they just landed so brilliantly. I'm like imagining you writing a book of all these amazing download one-liners, and by the way, so just so you know, there might be a book in your future with all these nuggets of wisdom. So, thank you so much for taking time, and for all of you listening, thank you for coming back again and again. I love doing this podcast; it fills me up. I hope it fills you up just as much, if not more. And until next time, everybody, be well. Bye for now.

WSC Intro/Outro: So happy you could join us today, and we hope that you found comfort and inspiration with wherever you are at right now. If you feel you received a gift in today's message, please pass that gift along to a loved one by sharing this episode with them. To continue this conversation, please join me @rosehope.ca, and when you do, be sure to access your free gift by signing up for the When Spirit Calls newsletter. I'm looking forward to connecting with you again soon.