Fear doesn't have to stop us from achieving our dreams. Sometimes, it can be the very thing that pushes us forward. My guest, Darlia Clark, knows this from personal experience. Growing up in Tennessee, she faced bullying, vision challenges, and struggles with confidence, yet she went on to build a successful career leading major corporate brand conversions. Darlia shares how she learned to manage fear, build self-confidence, and lead teams through difficult challenges without losing her authentic voice. We also explore the difference between being a boss and a true leader, the impact of family support, and how small steps can lead to personal growth. Darlia's journey inspired her new book, Bravely Leading: Where Fear Meets Flight, which draws on her experiences with leadership, motherhood, and overcoming breast cancer. I believe you'll enjoy her perspective on courage, resilience, and why moving forward matters more than having everything figured out.
Highlights:
01:01 How childhood bullying shaped Darlia's confidence.
11:26 How a bold decision launched her leadership career.
16:59 Why overcoming fear starts with small steps.
28:24 How her father taught her to lead with confidence.
38:47 Why authentic leadership means staying true to yourself.
49:17 How life's challenges inspired her book on courage and resilience.
About the Guest:
Darlia Clark is a senior executive, speaker, and author whose career has been shaped by navigating uncertainty, fear, and moments that required courage before confidence ever arrived. Raised in small-town Tennessee, she made an early leap to Atlanta, learning firsthand what it means to leave comfort behind in pursuit of growth. That willingness to move forward before feeling ready became the foundation of a career defined by resilience and reinvention.
Her professional journey began far from boardrooms, rooted in retail floors and hands-on work that taught her resilience, adaptability, and the importance of human connection. That foundation carried her into executive leadership, where she has overseen national and global initiatives valued in hundreds of millions of dollars. As Senior Vice President at Principle Global, Darlia led one of the largest brand conversions during the height of the global pandemic, guiding teams through labor shortages and supply-chain disruption while still delivering meaningful results.
Life beyond work deeply influenced how Darlia leads. Motherhood, personal loss, surviving breast cancer, and long seasons of fear and anxiety forced her to slow down and reassess how she moved through the world. She learned that fear and anxiety are not signals to stop, but often indicators that something meaningful is unfolding. Growth, she discovered, lives on the other side of staying present and continuing forward, even when uncertainty feels overwhelming.
Darlia is the author of Bravely Leading: Where Fear Meets Flight, a candid exploration of resilience, reinvention, and leading with authenticity when fear refuses to disappear. Through her work, she encourages leaders to keep moving, trusting that discomfort can be a doorway rather than a barrier.
She lives in Atlanta with her husband, two daughters, and two dogs. Darlia believes that true impact is built through resilience, humility, and the courage to move forward—especially when fear is loud and the outcome is still unknown.
Ways to connect with Darlia**:**
www.linkedin.com/in/darlia-clark
About the Host:
Michael Hingson is a New York Times best-selling author, international lecturer, and Chief Vision Officer for accessiBe. Michael, blind since birth, survived the 9/11 attacks with the help of his guide dog Roselle. This story is the subject of his best-selling book, Thunder Dog.
Michael gives over 100 presentations around the world each year speaking to influential groups such as Exxon Mobile, AT\&T, Federal Express, Scripps College, Rutgers University, Children’s Hospital, and the American Red Cross just to name a few. He is Ambassador for the National Braille Literacy Campaign for the National Federation of the Blind and also serves as Ambassador for the American Humane Association’s 2012 Hero Dog Awards.
https://www.facebook.com/michael.hingson.author.speaker/
https://www.youtube.com/user/mhingson
https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelhingson/
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Transcription Notes:
Michael Hingson 00:04
What if the biggest thing holding you back isn't what's in front of you, but rather what you believe? Welcome to Unstoppable Mindset, where inclusion, diversity, and the unexpected meet. I'm your host, Michael Hingson, speaker, author, and advocate for inclusion and possibilities. This podcast explores how the beliefs we carry shape the way we live, lead, and connect with others. Each week, I talk with people who challenge assumptions, face adversity head-on, and show what's possible when we choose curiosity over fear. Together, we focus on mindset, resilience, and the small shifts that lead to meaningful change. Let's get started. Hello, everyone. Wherever you happen to be. I am your host, Michael Hingson, and this is the Unstoppable Mindset podcast. Today we get to chat with Darlia Clark, who is from Tennessee but now lives in Atlanta and has been involved with leadership and and dealing with fear and a variety of things, working with various companies, and we'll get to all that as we go through roughly the next hour or so. So I'm just going to say, Darlia, I'm really glad that you're here. I want to thank you for being here with us and for being on Unstoppable Mindset.
Darlia Clark 01:35
Well, I'm really excited to be here, and thank you for having me on the show.
Michael Hingson 01:40
Well, why don't you start by telling us kind of about maybe the early Darlia growing up?
Darlia Clark 01:46
Oh, sure, yeah. That's always fun. It's a good way to start. I love starting with that. So, as you mentioned, I'm from a small town in Tennessee, right outside of Chattanooga, and the early me started out with have an extreme lazy eye, so I got to wear the patch to kindergarten, which you know kids love to make fun of that, and I had a little speech impediment where anytime I would say an R, it would come out as a W. So in kindergarten, they they thought that I needed to be in special learning classes just because they they didn't know what they didn't know back then. But luckily, I had a mother who was a school teacher, so she helped wrangle in and get me in some speech therapy and the right eye doctor and patches, so I was able to stay in regular classes.
Michael Hingson 02:49
So the lazy eyes became good working eyes and weren't lazy anymore.
Darlia Clark 02:57
Yeah, it still turns in when I'm when I'm tired, but as far as vision with glasses and everything, I can see pretty well.
Speaker 1 03:06
Okay,
Darlia Clark 03:07
throws off depth perception slightly, but that's about it.
Michael Hingson 03:11
Well, but you're able to to deal with it, and that's kind of the the big issue. And I I'm not hearing you use W's instead of R's where R's belong. So that must be working right.
Darlia Clark 03:26
Yep, that's working right. Lots of speech therapy for that one, and yeah. So I, as a kid, I would always put out my stuffed animals and my dolls, and I would just put them in the driveway, and I would read to them and write songs and just perform for them constantly. So had a lot of fun with that, and that's you know kind of stuff that, as we grow up and get into our careers, when you think back as a kid, what's so fun? What would you do now if you could do it for free? Those were always the kind of things that were a lot of fun for me.
Michael Hingson 04:06
Roughly, how long ago was all this that had happened?
Darlia Clark 04:10
Well, I am 56, almost 57. So this is 50-plus years ago. So
Michael Hingson 04:17
in the 1975, 7476, era.
Darlia Clark 04:23
Yes, yeah, I was born in 69. So, and I got my first pair of glasses when I was two and a half.
Michael Hingson 04:30
Did you get a lot of bullying about wearing glasses?
Darlia Clark 04:36
I I did, but it was the glasses as well as the fact that the eye was turning in, so kids would always say they couldn't tell where I was looking, or you know, so a lot of a lot of bullying for that for sure.
Michael Hingson 04:54
Do you think that was something that affected you in in any way? How did. How did you cope with all that, especially as you were growing up?
Darlia Clark 05:04
Yeah, I think that bullying has always been a part of my life from a young age, and quite honestly, I feel that it's made me tougher along the way. When I when I think back, it's you know, especially as a kid, I can always think about the dreams I had at the moment, and really they kind of ebbed and flowed with the confidence confidence level that I had at the time. So it's not that oh, I used to have small dreams, and then they got larger as I aged and progressed. It was they would be really large at one point, and then some bullying could have taken place, and then they would be like much smaller. Maybe I wanted to be a movie star one day, and then the next day after a round of issues, then you know, hey, if I could just get a job at that makeup counter, I'd be great. So you know, really, that can take a toll on you. But my parents were always there to kind of help, and my brother as well help pick me up, dust me off and kind of set me on my path. So it's just something that I never really let stop me because I I didn't have the luxury.
Michael Hingson 06:31
Your parents taught you to to be a little bit, if you will, more resilient and deal with all that. Then it sounds like,
Darlia Clark 06:39
yeah,
Michael Hingson 06:39
and your brother and my
Darlia Clark 06:41
brother as well.
Michael Hingson 06:42
Was he older than you?
Darlia Clark 06:44
He was three years older.
Michael Hingson 06:46
Ah,
Darlia Clark 06:46
and yeah, so just enough older, and but he always included me on different things. And I remember we would help my dad refinish our basement when I was so little, he had to put me in the wheelbarrow and push me around the yard. But he always included me, and just a really great human being even to this day. But I remember in school, his grades were straight A's and A pluses, and mine were you know B's and C's. It's not quite as good as him, but teachers would kind of say, "Hey, are you sure that's your brother?
Michael Hingson 07:27
Well, as long as he was pushing you around in a wheelbarrow, but they didn't try to mix the men in the wheelbarrow while you were in it.
Darlia Clark 07:33
They did not do that. That's a
Michael Hingson 07:35
good thing.
Darlia Clark 07:36
Yeah.
Michael Hingson 07:38
Well, that's that's pretty cool, though. So, how did it all progress and go as you moved from sort of elementary school into high school? Did any of it kind of lessen, or did things change?
Darlia Clark 07:50
Yeah, things changed, and I, I can't even believe I'm about to to tell this story. But when I was in middle school, I really stood up for myself and basically put a bully in their place in middle school. And then when I moved into high school, the word got out that I had done that with this particular bully, and the bullying pretty much stopped.
Michael Hingson 08:20
What did you do?
Darlia Clark 08:22
Well, there was a a little scuffle that occurred at the YMCA to the point of I was like, hold my glasses before I got into this scuffle because I knew if the glasses got broken, I would be in trouble.
Michael Hingson 08:37
Yeah. Well, I
Darlia Clark 08:41
had just had all I could take.
Michael Hingson 08:44
Well, and and you dealt with it, and that it sounds like that kind of helped to start building a reputation that don't mess around with Darlia.
Darlia Clark 08:54
Exactly.
Michael Hingson 08:57
So you didn't have all that much bullying in in high school, did was was there on the other hand maybe more curiosity, more wanting to learn about you, getting to know you better. Did that happen or help any?
Darlia Clark 09:10
Yeah, I would say that did happen in high school. I had a lot of friends in high school. People were very accepting. Just a really good time there in high school,
Michael Hingson 09:24
and so you went through high school, and then what did you do?
Darlia Clark 09:29
Yeah, after high school, my parents insisted that I go to college. I was very on the fence. Did I want to go to college? Did I not? Did I just want to get a job and be done with school, but they insisted. So finally, one night we were-I remember this like yesterday-we were at our local Shoneys in Cleveland, Tennessee, and my mother was talking to one of her friends, and she was telling her about a school in Atlanta, a Botter Fashion College. And I was a huge fan of designing women at the time, so that's all Is. Hey, I can move to Atlanta. I could live like the women on Designing Women. Designing
Michael Hingson 10:10
Women, yeah, yeah.
Darlia Clark 10:11
So that's exactly what we did after I graduated. I moved. I had an aunt that had moved to Atlanta, so I was able to move in with her and go to Botter Fashion College, and that was, you know, the first step.
Michael Hingson 10:30
Did you ever get to meet any of the women from the show?
Darlia Clark 10:34
I have not. No, I never got to meet them, but I I pulled out an episode not too long ago and watched it because it's still it's still a good show. Oh, it is.
Michael Hingson 10:46
It's a fun show. Well, so you you went to college and graduated presumably.
Darlia Clark 10:57
Yes.
Michael Hingson 10:58
And then what did you do?
Darlia Clark 11:00
So after college, and I have to tell this one story about college before we can graduate, though. So at the end of the at the end of the very first year in college, the teacher asked everybody to stand up and say something that they remembered about someone that they had met that year, and this girl from Cincinnati, Ohio, stood up and said, "Hi, my name's Darlene May, and I'm from Tennessee. So I I knew I'd had an accent and I needed to work on it, but I didn't know it was quite that bad. But anyway, that that is just a funny story from college. But after I graduated, I got right into the retail management business. So I managed a lot of clothing stores and the mall and different things for a while.
Michael Hingson 12:04
So, what got you started down that road, going into clothing stores and just doing retail management? That's a lot different than a fashion college, needless to
Darlia Clark 12:13
say. Yeah, yeah. What I liked about it was the the window merchandising, and so yeah, I had gone in there to really get into the window decorating and the merchandising and where to put the clothes, and then I just started migrating more towards the managerial type roles. And so, yeah, I did that for a number of years until I ended up at at Wolf Camera. I don't know if you've heard of that. It was a photo store. They bought Fox Photo and and David Ritz, but they were a camera store. I ended up there, and and it ended up in customer service for them at the home office. And then, luckily, the vice president of store design said, "Hey, what are you doing over here in customer service? We need someone in store design. So I moved over there. I did every odd job that they needed someone to do from pulling suitcases down the center of the mall and setting up tables and teaching people how to scrapbook and then one day they said, "Hey, we've bought Fox Photo. We've got 400 exterior signs that we need to have converted to Wolf Camera, and I threw my hand up and volunteered, knowing what I know now about signage programs. I can't believe I was that brave at the time, but I threw it up. My hand went up before my brain caught up with it, which is always the the best way to be. But that started me on a path. Gosh, for nearly 30 years now, I have experienced all of these really large brand conversions where we do the physical assets from signage and carpet, paint, architectural elements. So I did that for Wolf Camera, and then when they were sold, I went and did it for large real estate companies. I've done every singular wireless and AT and T merger that's been done in in the past history, and just a lot of retail banking and other ones. So I do the projects that are big and scary, and people say there's no way it can be done, and then that's kind of when I wake up as soon as I hear, "Hey, it can't be done. That's when my brain starts clicking. Of how could it possibly be done and be done better than it's ever been done?
Michael Hingson 14:57
Well, what got you? What got you? To the point where you just bravely took that sort of task on.
Darlia Clark 15:05
That's a great question because when I I did it at Wolf Camera, I was so comfortable in the environment that I worked at at Wolf Camera. It's still one of the best jobs I ever had, and so the team that I worked with really felt like were very supportive, and so I was confident enough to raise my hand and say yes, let me do it, and and then confidence took a little dive when Wolf Camera was sold out, and we were all laid off. I was eight months pregnant, and I remember coming home. And my husband at the time, we were like, "Well, the first one to land a job will be the one to work. And then my old vice president at Wolf Camera said, "Hey, you need to go talk to this company, Jones Lang LaSalle. They're getting ready to do this large merger. And I thought, "Oh my gosh, how can I do this? It was in Buckhead in a high-rise building, and here I am in this navy blue maternity suit, so I waddled into that building and I went up that elevator, and all I was thinking was I had a young daughter at the time. I was pregnant again, and I needed a job because I wasn't sure how much, how many more months that the money would hold out, so I just made a promise to my daughters at the time that I was going to do whatever it takes. And luckily, the person I met there was fantastic, and it was obvious that I was pregnant. There was no hiding that. So we already, before I left that day, we talked about maternity leave and how I could get back to it, and just it was a really good experience. But I'm not sure that I would have done that if I didn't have two mouths that needed to be fed, and I knew I was the one that was going to end up needing to do that.
Michael Hingson 17:20
Well, you've you've talked about fear in your life. What is it that you did, and how did you learn essentially to recognize fear not as a stop sign, but as the possibility that something was sort of unfolding and that you had an opportunity and that you then embraced That opportunity,
Darlia Clark 17:42
yeah, and that's-it's really coming to the realization that fear is always going to be there. So I used to really let fear stop me and completely paralyze me, and sometimes it's just a form of fear, and sometimes it's straight up there with a full blown anxiety attack, where it's the room spinning and you can't breathe, and it it's a little more than just fear, but what I found is if you just keep moving and you don't focus on the fear, you learn to acknowledge it. You learn to realize that you've got to break it apart because sometimes it's there because your body and your mind are getting excited about the future and what could be, and other times it feels that it's there just to stop you from taking a step. So you really got to say, I don't have to take a giant leap at this moment. I don't have to go from point A to point Z, but I better get to moving, and I better take that from A to B step. I've at least got to do something, or it could impact your future, where you're going to go next. And none of us want to get to the point where we're not growing and not learning and not changing every day. So, in order to be our best selves, we've really got to address that fear and don't let it stop us, no matter what we do, and make sure we're taking that next step, even if it's a baby step.
Michael Hingson 19:36
How do you recognize that fear is entering into your thought process.
Darlia Clark 19:44
It starts with simple second guessing, and then it's followed by all the this questioning. It's like an internal voice that. Are you sure you want to do that? Are you capable of doing that? So it's all the negative back talk that we give ourselves, and it's really easy to talk ourselves out of things. But I know when I start to do that, that next is going to come that fear. If I don't get control of it, my hands are gonna shake. I'm gonna lose my voice. I'm gonna have to, you know, get get a hold of myself before I just faint right out in the floor or something. But it, I recognize it, and it starts with just simple questioning that starts to play in your mind. If
Speaker 2 20:43
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Michael Hingson 21:16
So, what do you do to take that fear and refocus it, or or silence it, if you will. And maybe silencing isn't the right word. I I recognize that we we fear things, but I also think there's there is a lot more to fear in that we can learn to control it and use it as a very powerful tool to help
Darlia Clark 21:41
us. First, I start with my Wonder Woman and Superman poses, especially if it is like I've got to get up in front of a crowd or I've got to do something that I'm finding myself where my hands are starting to shake, or my voice is starting to shake. So I really start with my power poses, for lack of a better word, those good old power poses, to try to bring down my anxiety. And sometimes I just straight up acknowledge it, like if I'm in a a large team meeting and I feel it really coming on and I'm afraid that I'm not going to be able to get my voice back and my hands from shaking, I'll say, "Hey guys, I'm really nervous today. And then sometimes I say, "Hey, I'm really nervous, and I think it's because we're about to do something great, you know. So I try to bring people into that because so many people understand. It's just a lot of people try to hide it and don't really acknowledge what's going on with that.
Michael Hingson 22:56
So for you, what do you do?
Darlia Clark 22:59
I number one, I keep moving. I I don't let it stop me, and if I can't get it down from the power poses, I have to go on a little walk. I have a talk with myself. I try to understand it and figure out where it's coming from. So I can decide the best steps for me to move forward.
Michael Hingson 23:28
What did you do that started you down a road where you talk to yourself about what you're feeling about fear and and how to deal with it and so on? Because I think that's a very important tool that most of us don't learn. We don't tend to learn a lot about introspection, but it sounds like you have to a very large degree. How did that happen?
Darlia Clark 23:52
Only thing I can think of is it really happened out of necessity, because when you know I think back over the years, and I have faked a sore throat because I was too nervous to get on a conference call. I have, you know, done things to get out of certain things just because I was literally I couldn't get my body to stop shaking or my voice to stop shaking. So, knowing that the times that it would impact me the most were absolutely necessary for my career and for putting a roof over my head and taking care of my kids. There was no way I could not do these things, so I really had to figure out how can I do them and do them well, and how do I make sure that I'm not letting that fear. Talk me out of doing it, and so it was just a slow progression. And the only thing I think is how or why I did it was simple necessity.
Michael Hingson 25:13
Well, how did you learn to talk yourself into this state of focus as opposed to fear.
Darlia Clark 25:23
I never wanted to be an example for my daughters where I was someone that couldn't control my fear or let fear stop me from what some people might think is a simple thing to to lead a meeting or to get on a conference call or to get up in front of a large group. I just knew I had to figure out how to keep going because I was I was keeping myself going not only for myself but for them, and I wanted to be able to, if they had some of these same tendencies as they were growing up through their life, I wanted to be there to model how to do it.
Michael Hingson 26:14
Well, what was it like when you first moved from Tennessee to Atlanta? That was, in a sense, probably a pretty big move, even though you're going to to go to college and so on. How did that all take place, and what did you learn from making that move?
Darlia Clark 26:32
Yeah, it was it was the first move where I would say fear was there. Luckily, I had made the decision to do it before I fully thought it through, so I was already in motion. So I just had to muster up the courage to go through with it. I do think that having my aunt here in Atlanta and my cousins at her house was the the great help because it was just the traffic, right? Just driving through the streets and the large buildings was very different from what I was used to, but luckily, I had visited them quite often growing up, so it wasn't like I'd never seen the big city. But having them there really helped build that confidence that I that I can do it here in Atlanta.
Michael Hingson 27:44
Well, what did you learn from making that move and and this analysis of fear and strength that you went through? What did you learn about trusting yourself and learning to have confidence even before you really had thought it through?
Darlia Clark 28:02
Yes, I really felt what I learned is that you really, when you take those big steps, it naturally starts to build confidence, even if you don't do it perfectly, even if you parked at the wrong spot and got your windows broken out, or all the things that you didn't know about a city that you could have known, or you could have been a little smarter. It's just like when you take those steps and you do them right or wrong, but you're still moving forward. It really builds a reassurance that boosts your confidence,
Michael Hingson 28:45
and so you you use the actions that you take to to help you build confidence. I gather is what you're saying.
Darlia Clark 28:57
Yes.
Michael Hingson 28:58
What about your your parents? What did they teach you about leadership? You certainly learned leadership fairly early because you had to take the lead to deal with a bully and and things like that. But what did you learn about leadership, and and how did your parents help you in in shaping and and providing some of that knowledge? Because I would say that your parents had something to do with
Darlia Clark 29:23
it, absolutely. And one of the earliest lessons of leadership, thinking back, and my my dad is he's a retired fire chief, but he always was a builder and a contractor as well. And so he took me with him from the time. I mean, I was little. From the time I knew how to take notes, I was doing that. So I would travel with my dad in his truck. I would have my pen, my paper. We would go into these lumber yards. He would introduce me as the boss. I would help pick out the material. Help place the orders, and it's so funny because until I started writing that down, it never once crossed my mind that my dad could have done what we were doing together so much quicker, so without me, so much faster and probably more accurate, but he always took the time to show me that he was helping me build confidence. He was a leader, and he showed me how to do it with care.
Michael Hingson 30:36
Did you? Did the two of you ever talk about all of that. I mean, because at some point, did you figure out? Well, he could probably do this more effectively, more quickly without me. But he's he's really trying to teach me something. Did did that ever come up in a discussion? Did you ever talk about it?
Darlia Clark 30:54
We talked about it recently when I was putting all of it down in the book, and it really crossed my mind how much, and we've always had a great relationship. So I knew he poured in a lot of time and energy, but it was just all these things started coming to me that hey, I wasn't really the boss. I was five. Hey, he didn't really need me to take all those notes, but it just so when I came to that realization mid 50s, then yes, I certainly have had that conversation with him.
Michael Hingson 31:32
What what do you think the people around him thought when he was doing this and involving you so much,
Darlia Clark 31:42
they-that's a great question. They probably thought either this is a just a doting father, or if they were really paying attention, they would have seen what was going on. That hey, here he is building this little kid's confidence and teaching her how to to be a leader someday, but for the most part, they probably were just like, "Oh, here comes a a father and his daughter, and you know he's such a proud father. I don't know that people were watching closely enough to say what he was really doing.
Michael Hingson 32:28
Did did anyone? Do you think if thinking back on it, do you think there was anyone who really figured it out? And and if so, how did that help?
Darlia Clark 32:38
Well, you know, I do remember the there was some ladies at the lumberyard that really played quite into the story very well as far as showing me different pricing for different wood, and maybe they had figured it out at the time, and I just thought, oh, they really have to ask me all these important questions. So, looking back on it now, from from what I remember, now I'm starting to think maybe they had it a little bit figured out, and I just thought that they needed me, or that they were playing along, but maybe it, yeah, maybe they had it figured out.
Michael Hingson 33:30
Yeah. Well, I would think that probably at least some people did. People who tended to be very observant and could and did analyze things well, would figure it out, and that that probably was good for you. And I've got to believe that this this whole kind of activity would be a confidence builder by any standard, especially if if you bought into it and did the things that your father wanted you to do.
Darlia Clark 34:02
Yes. Yep.
Michael Hingson 34:04
How does any of that affect how you raise your daughters today, or you raised your daughters?
Darlia Clark 34:09
I going to think I played right into how my my dad did that with me. I have taken them on a number of business trips and quality-I'll call them quality control visits-when you have to go to the site and check out, you know, everything's in the right spot. I used to travel with them quite a bit, and my oldest would hold my BlackBerry at the time in the front seat, and she would help me answer emails. She'd read them to me, and I'd tell her what to respond back. And my youngest would be in the back seat, and she would get the the brand books ready for our next location, and we would pull in. And so I always tried to include them in my work as. Well, so they would understand not only what I was doing, but why I was doing it, and when I would travel, where when they couldn't come with me, and I would travel, they would understand what I was doing when sites were close enough to bring them with me.
Michael Hingson 35:16
Now, how old are your daughters today?
Darlia Clark 35:19
Today they are 27 and 24,
Michael Hingson 35:22
so they're probably not doing the same thing that they used to do with you.
Darlia Clark 35:26
No, my my oldest is working at the company that I work for now, and my youngest is in her last semester of law school.
Michael Hingson 35:39
Oh, be nice to her; she'll sue you.
Darlia Clark 35:42
I'm be I am. I will always be nice to her. I do not want to get sued.
Michael Hingson 35:47
On the other hand, she'll probably make a bunch of money. So you got to start early in teaching her that she's got to learn to support you in the manner you want to become accustomed to, right?
Darlia Clark 35:58
Absolutely,
Michael Hingson 35:59
absolutely. Well, still, that that really is pretty cool, and the fact that you're passing on that legacy. How did your confidence at different stages in your life affect the size of your dreams?
Darlia Clark 36:18
So, I talked. I talked a little bit about kind of the ebbs and flows, and that it didn't from just small to big, and it it was just when you when you have a high confidence, say you you did just do that that step, or you did just move to Atlanta, then you think, oh, I could take on the world, or oh, I could, I could act in a movie one day. I could do this. I could do that. But then, on at times when the the world has its ways, and you hear negative things about yourself, and people set the they kind of set the roadmap for you. They set the limits for you, and they're not your limits. But it's the world telling you you can only do this, this, and this, but you can't do that. That's that's too big of a dream, then your mind starts to believe it, and it takes your confidence down. Where when you're when you're feeling low in your confidence, it's you want to do the easiest job, the the simplest thing, to the point of you really may not even want to get out of bed that day because you're listening to other people put either their limitations on you or they're putting limitations on you that don't necessarily belong there.
Michael Hingson 38:00
Have you progressed though beyond any of that? In that people always want to put, or they do put limitations on you, and so on. But you recognize that that's them, not you. And and if so, how do you deal with
Darlia Clark 38:14
it? I have progressed past that. I'm progressing past that every day, right? I don't think anybody's got it all figured out. Well, I'm sure someone has, but I haven't got it all figured out. But I, I am moving past that, and I've really tried to separate what people say either about me or about themselves or about my dreams. Well, they wouldn't understand what I'm going to do or what I've done because it's it's my dream, not theirs, and it's it's my desire, not theirs, and you just can't listen to that, and you can't let them stop you from doing the next thing that's true for you. The
Michael Hingson 39:06
other side of all this is that at times, maybe everything's going really well. You've done everything well. Everything has really worked well. Everything that you wanted to have happen happen, but that perhaps that's pulling you kind of more away from your authentic self. Has that ever happened? And how did you figure it out? And what did you do about it?
Darlia Clark 39:29
This has happened. It. I'm gonna say it doesn't happen overnight. And so I was at a company, and I had been there over a decade, so probably close to 13 years. And as I was growing up through the corporate ladder, right, so I was really trying to figure out who I am and what I believe, and then I started. Listening, I was like a sponge, right? So I'm I'm picking up and I'm learning from other people, and and I'm still growing and trying to figure things out. Well, I was doing such a good job at that, learning from other people. I forgot who I was, and it didn't. It wasn't an instant thing. I mean, it it took over years, and then finally, I I was in a pitch. We were pitching this business, and I had been told how to hold my head, how to answer the questions, how to set up almost these fake banters back and forth that were really more of a form of theater instead of an authentic pitch, and it just didn't feel right. And I knew at that time we were not going to win the business because I was letting other people tell me what to say and what not to say, and these other people had no idea on how to execute a program of this size, and I did, but I let them silence my voice, and it was almost like I was, I was doing great as far as their standards, right? As far as you could pick me up and sit me in the room, and I could answer the questions, but I was just simply answering questions. I wasn't really ahead of the clients trying to understand what they need, trying to fix problems, and so what I did about it was I I left the company for that very reason because I needed to go to a company that celebrated people the way they are, either with their southern accents, they're not southern accents. Whatever you bring to the table, you can bring it to the table in a professional manner, of course. But we're not going to overcoach you to the point where you're just a a shell of a human that you used to be.
Michael Hingson 42:19
Did you ever have a situation that went like you're describing it, where people were telling you what to do when you were doing it, and you knew you were losing the business, but you decided to to break from that and go back to doing things the way you felt that it needed to be done, and that turned it around, and you be, and you were successful at getting the business.
Darlia Clark 42:44
Yes, that's. I mean, that's exactly what happened with this this pitch where I I knew we were going to lose it. When I did leave my job at the time, I went to another company and ended up running that exact program in the way that I wanted to run it, and it was not easy. It was one of the largest conversions, a bank conversion, and it was right at the time of COVID and supply chain shortages and labor shortages. So every day brought this whole slew of issues to be resolved that we had never seen anything like it, and it was one of the hardest programs that I've ever ran. But it's one of, and it did not go perfectly by any stretch of the imagination with all of the restrictions at the time, but I still have people from different sign companies or different manufacturers calling and saying, "Hey, thank you for not letting us quit because we all thought it was impossible. Everybody wanted to quit, but we just kept plugging forward, and some days we were moving forward ugly because it was like you could see the ships of the materials out in the ocean, and we were you know 14 countermeasures back and other materials trying to take the place of them, but we were able to get it done, and so it's just I know I knew if I stayed where I was, I would not have been able to deliver that kind of program where it's really blood, sweat, and tears. It's not just
Michael Hingson 44:39
yeah, and and the whole issue is that that there are reasons why there can be successes, and and maybe reasons why there can't be, and that makes a lot of sense. You've got to understand that and and make it work. What's the difference between being a boss and being a leader?
Darlia Clark 44:58
When you're a leader. People want to follow you, and one of my most humbling times as a leader, when I knew I was a leader, not just a boss, is when I I left a job, and I had a lot of really top industry talent that wanted to come with me, and and to me, being a leader is you. You never ask anybody to do something that you haven't done or you wouldn't do. You get in there and you work shoulder to shoulder with them. You learn how to bring different skill sets together to really create innovation, and you you lead by an example and you lead by servicing. When I think of a boss, that's usually someone who comes in and and dictates how things are done, and exactly how to do them, and clocks in and out, and I I don't know that I've ever been a boss, except for maybe extremely early in my career, you know, just getting started, but being a leader is something that I take extremely seriously, and I love nothing more than watching the intern of yesterday, who's now a vice president today, and you hope that something you said or something that you did or part of your communication has helped that person's career, even if just a little bit.
Michael Hingson 46:56
I would add, though, and and maybe modify what you said a little bit. This is my opinion, but I think that there can be good bosses. Good bosses are also leaders, and the the reality is that there's there's a place for a good boss because a good boss is is someone who recognizes and appreciates the talents of the people who work for them, but they also exhibit the skills of being a leader in terms of working with the team, creating a team, and making sure that the team functions well and learns to work together. And and that can be done. It can
Darlia Clark 47:40
be done, and I'll give you that one. And there are certain levels of careers as well where you really do need, especially with newer employees, they really do need a boss, right? Because they, especially if you're new to the industry or you're new at what you're doing. So I would say yes, that bosses can be good leaders that they can go hand in hand.
Michael Hingson 48:04
Yeah, and and that's really the issue, right? That that is the better bosses truly are also good leaders, and they they know how to lead. They know how to set the tone, and and especially for new people, it doesn't mean that they they won't say look, this is you know this is what you got to do, but I think that the good bosses would also be the people who would say this is why, and again, lead by example.
Darlia Clark 48:33
Yes,
Michael Hingson 48:35
and that of course is is part of the issue. So so I think there's room for all of that, but good bosses are probably I think pretty much also leaders, and that's the way it ought to be, which is pretty cool. So today in in what you do, well, so exactly, what are you doing today?
Darlia Clark 49:03
Today, I am besides
Michael Hingson 49:06
talking to us on the podcast.
Darlia Clark 49:07
Yeah, well, that's the most important thing I'm doing today. So I'm also a senior executive for a branding company. So I have a team of around 50 people, so I'm still doing the the same brand conversions, and I'm also at the same time I am launching a book that's coming out at the end of this month. It's in pre-launch now. It's called "Bravely Leading: Where fear meets flight.
Michael Hingson 49:43
That's your first book.
Darlia Clark 49:44
It's my first book, yes. And it started. I don't. I just started this book, and it really started. I wanted a little memoir, a little love letter for my daughters, and so I started putting. Down stories of you know things that had happened and lessons learned, and it's a chapter and it's lessons learned, and then it just kind it really grew the through the different stories, and I was like, oh, more people could benefit from that than just my daughters, and then I had breast cancer, so I put the book on hold for a year or so. And then I'm cancer free now, so I had to get the book back out because I'm like, "Hey, I'm I'm still here. God didn't take me. I've got more to do. And so I was like, "Let's get this book out, and if it could just help even a few people, right, find their courage, keep moving forward, and not letting fear stop them, then I would be super happy with that.
Michael Hingson 50:53
Did you self-publish the book, or is there a publisher involved?
Darlia Clark 50:57
I self-published.
Michael Hingson 50:58
Okay, and I know you sent us a picture of the book cover, and that is one of the things that is in our show notes, which I greatly appreciate. So it's coming out this month.
Darlia Clark 51:09
Yes, yep. It's you can go now to bravelyleadingbook.com, and you can read the introduction for free, and. And yep, it'll be released on the 19th this month.
Michael Hingson 51:31
Okay, so it's going to be a week from Thursday.
Darlia Clark 51:33
Yep,
Michael Hingson 51:34
cool. That's that's really exciting. What do you think about that?
Darlia Clark 51:39
I Can't believe it's finally here. I never knew how hard self-publishing would be. I've learned a lot over the process, but I'm really excited to to get it Out and see where it goes. Yeah, but I'm. It's taken me a few years to to get it completed and to get it published. And but yeah, I'm very excited.
Michael Hingson 52:17
Given all that you've said about it, what do your daughters think?
Darlia Clark 52:21
Oh, they love it! They love it. I did let them. They were reading. They were actually helping me edit. So they would. One was a little more enthusiastic with the edits, and so she would, as she's reading each paragraph, she would put emojis or questions, and you know. So she went from the edit to, I'm going to do a live interaction with every paragraph. So I didn't get past that one, but the other one just went straight to edits. But they they're just proud that I put it down, and also they love the fact that they're in it. Some so oh
Michael Hingson 53:08
cool. Are you going to create an audio version of the book as well? Do you have plans to do that?
Darlia Clark 53:13
I do have plans to do that. I um when I I first when it first comes out, I've got the ebook and paperback, and then I'm probably I'm leaning towards somewhere in June. I would love to have an audio and a hardback, but I I really want the audio version. I just got to figure out. I'll have to do a little more research, but that's always been top of my list because it has a lot of a little bit of Southern slang in there. So I want to make sure that it's the audio is done where it it reads appropriately. So, and that was a hard part with editing too-that keeping that little bit of slang the way you wanted. Yeah, yeah, it's was fun. But yeah, definitely want an audiobook.
Michael Hingson 54:13
That's kind of important to do. Well, I think that'll be really exciting when it does come out. And again, there'll be there is in the show notes. There'll be some information about that. Well, so for someone who's listening right now, who's facing fear, they're feeling anxious, they feel stuck, or are just not sure what to do. What do you want them to know, and what do you want to tell them about feeling fear and what's possible on the other side.
Darlia Clark 54:46
First thing I would want to say is, it's normal to fear, to feel fear, and it's okay. It doesn't mean anything is wrong. Necessarily, so I would want them to spend a little time to understand what's bringing up that fear for
Michael Hingson 55:12
them,
Darlia Clark 55:13
and then the main thing is don't let it stop you from your next step. What whatever you're thinking about doing, because the more you keep going and you use that fear for a little drive forward, that it can help propel them to the next place, Because sometimes that fear is really where we're at the breaking point of something new and exciting that is meant for us, and we just have to make sure that we don't let it stop us, and we get there by one small step at a time.
Michael Hingson 56:06
Do you, when especially you feel that you've been facing fear or anything like that, or facing a challenging situation, do you take time at the end of the day, kind of to think about it and think about what worked, what didn't work? What's wrong? How do I move forward? Do you do you do that kind of self-analysis?
Darlia Clark 56:26
I I do that. I I usually do it right before I fall asleep, and so sometimes it can tell you what you did wrong, either by not moving or by taking that fear out in the wrong way, or saying something to someone that was really just your own fear, and I play it back at night so I can wake up the next morning and take different action.
Michael Hingson 57:10
Cool. Well, I'm a big dreamer
Darlia Clark 57:12
too. Well, I think I dream my problems out a lot of times. Well, I think that's
Michael Hingson 57:18
so important that that people don't do enough of that, and I think that's part of what develops, as I refer to it, your mind muscle. And and really, when you start to listen to that inner voice that is really prepared to give you the answers that you need, that's an important step to take.
Darlia Clark 57:36
Yeah, absolutely.
Michael Hingson 57:38
Well, if people want to reach out to you, how can they do that?
Darlia Clark 57:42
Yeah, they can reach out on bravelyleadingbook.com, or they can. I'm on LinkedIn, Darlia Clark. You can you spell that there? Darlia. Darlia is D-A-R-L-I-A, and last name is Clark C L A R K.
Michael Hingson 58:02
So your LinkedIn name is Darlia Clark.
Darlia Clark 58:06
Yes.
Michael Hingson 58:07
Okay. Any other ways?
Darlia Clark 58:10
Those are the top, the easiest ways to get me.
Michael Hingson 58:14
Okay. Well, cool. Well, I want to thank you for being here and being a part of this, and I want to thank all of you for listening and watching us today. We really appreciated it, and we appreciate it wherever you are. I'd love to hear from you. Feel free to reach out to me at speaker@michaelhinkson.com. Michaelhingson is M I C H A E L H I N G S O N, but we really value your time and your involvement wherever you're watching or listening to this podcast. We'd appreciate it if you give us a five star rating and especially give us a great review. And for you, Darlia, and anyone listening, if you know anyone else who ought to be a guest on the podcast, we'd love to hear from you. We'd love you to introduce us to any guests. We're always looking for people who want to come on and tell their stories. So thanks very much. Really appreciate it, Darlia. And hopefully you'll come back again and tell us more about the book. But thank you for being here.
Darlia Clark 59:14
Absolutely. Thank you so much. It was a pleasure.
Michael Hingson 59:21
Thank you for being here with me on Unstoppable Mindset. I hope today's conversation left you with a fresh perspective, a new insight, or at least something worth thinking about. If you're ready to go deeper into the ideas that shape how we see ourselves and others, I have a free gift for you. Head over to michaelhinkson.com and download my free ebook, Blinded by Fear. It explores the invisible beliefs that hold us back and shows you how to reframe them so you can move forward with clarity and confidence. Be sure to subscribe. Subscribe to our podcast, leave a review, and share this show with someone who can use a reminder that growth starts with mindset. When people think differently, we all move forward together. Thanks again for listening. Keep learning, keep questioning, and keep choosing to live with an unstoppable mindset.