It’s Not About Working Harder

Okay, 321, Welcome to the Missing Secret

Podcast. I'm Kelly Hatfield.

Hey, and I'm John Mitchell. So, we got a great

topic today, and here it is. It's not about working harder.

So, Kelly, what do you think? Just an overview. What do you

think about that?

It's not about working harder. I can speak from

personal experience, where I know this to be true. So I'm

very excited to dive into this topic today, because my old

mentality - yes, you have to work hard, you know, my old

grind it out, you know, kind of mentality and everything. I

found, you know, that I was actually working against way,

way, way harder than I needed to. So I'm really excited to

dive into this topic today.

Well, you know, how this came up. This is Fetty

Little Personal Story. So I think I've told you this before,

you know, on Thursday nights, Ginger and I go and do our own

thing, like she does her thing, I do my thing, and oftentimes

doing my own thing comes down to I'll take the Wall Street

Journal and I'll go to a really nice restaurant, one of my

favorite restaurants, and order what I want, and and read the

Wall Street Journal, and I've been doing this for I don't know

15 years, and so this this past Thursday I did a little

slumming, and instead of going to a really nice restaurant, I

went to Whataburger. Do you know what Whataburgers are?

Uh, huh, yeah, I'm familiar with

They're pretty damn good.

Yeah,

It's, it's my favorite hamburger place. So, so

I jump in my Lamborghini and drive to Whataburger, and I pull

through an order, and then I get up to pay for it, and the high

school kid goes, "Wow, that is a beautiful car, and I'm like,

"Thank you, I feel very blessed to have it. And then the manager

sticks his head out and goes, "Wow, so how does a person get a

car like that? And I go hard work, just reactively hard work.

So I get my food and I start to drive off, and I'm like, you

know, I have given this guy exactly the wrong advice,

because I worked harder than all my friends up to the age of 50,

and this car and this wonderful life I'm blessed with did not

come from hard work, it, it came from working smarter, obviously,

and, but you know that that experience was so enlightening

that my natural reaction was to say hard work, when that's

exactly the opposite of of what it was, and I like what you

said, that you know hard work is for a given, but but so you

know, knowing your life like I know it, talk about the

difference between working hard, working smart, and when did that

happen, and just a little more context from your end.

Yeah, I think that when you and I met nearly

10 years ago, I think it's eight years ago, or so, when we met, I

had really, in growing my business, had really, it was

grinding it out, you know, it was long days, it was keeping

everything, like being the go-to person in the business, a huge

bottleneck that I created through, so it was just, it was

working hard, and it was like all I knew to grow the business

was that if I wanted to do that, I just needed to work harder, I

just needed to, you know, so there was this whole mentality I

had around that from my generation, and everything. It's

like, if you want something, you just, you have to work hard for

Yeah

It wasn't until I learned really about leverage,

like I knew about leverage as it related to money, but I hadn't

ever thought of it in terms of like how it related to my time,

the actions that I was taking, you know, being more intentional

about, you know, what I'm doing in my business to move the

levers to, you know, so that I'm focused on the right things in

my business to move the levers instead of everything, you know,

you know, what are the right things, and so it wasn't until

like really under. Standing, you know, leverage the science of

success, and, like, how to use your brain, you know, to brain

to focus on the right things and do the right things

consistently. That the whole idea of working smarter, you

know, came into play, where it was like, oh, this one thing

that I do has all of these impacts, and what if this one

thing I enhanced it by doing this. Oh my gosh, that opens up

these other doors, you know. And so, you know, I don't know

whether I'm really answering your question very well or not,

but for me, no, I think so. It was transitioning from that kind

of like grind it out, just either put more hours in, or if

things aren't going as I'd wanted, it was just work harder,

just work harder. Well, to the at the expense of everything in

my life, you know. So, like, my having the exceptional life

wasn't happening because I was focused and doing everything.

Every, my world revolved around my businesses and work, you

know, so it wasn't until I understood that concept of

leverage, both from a science standpoint and your brain, and

how to leverage my brain for my success, but then also to once I

learned that, then my brain started to make all the

connections, for like, okay, well, wait a minute. If I'm

taking this one interaction with somebody that's related to

business, where, like, going into that call shouldn't just be

about that one thing. What if you opened up the aperture on

the lens a little bit and understood, like, okay, well,

how can it. this person isn't, you know, somebody that can help

with this, what else? How can I help them, and how else then can

you know can I utilize this in a positive way to help with the

success of the business? You know, so anyway, very long

answer, but that's for me, really, that was kind of that

tipping point for me, and being able to kind of continue to grow

and excel and move past my, you know, kind of self-imposed

limitations, is when I understood that next kind of

realm about leverage and working smarter,

Right. Well, you know, you were, you were so much

like the female version of myself, you know, working really

hard, and, and, and that, that gets you to a certain point, but

it doesn't really take you to to where you want to go, and I'm

starting to teach my methodology to MBAs, as opposed to

undergraduates, as I've mentioned before, and I think

one of the things I am super proud of is, and I'm going to

say this to the MBAs, first day of the class, which is coming up

here in a couple months, I'm going to talk about how, when I

was 50, it hit me that I had to start netting a million dollars

a year. I mean, as materialistic as that sounds, for me to have

the exceptional life, that's what it took, and, and the

statistics are that about one half to 1/3 of 1% are able to do

that, and you know, I watched teaching you this, and seeing

your income, personal income, to go over a million dollars a

year, and I was so friggin proud of that, as you should be proud

of that, and, and I know I was proud of it when, when that

happened to me, and, and boy, when I look back on all that

today, I'm like, it is so not about working harder, and you'll

find this this interesting. So, I've been working with Claude a

lot. I'm creating the, as I mentioned before we went on the

air, I'm creating this new website called Advanced

Leadership of Self, and so I'm using Claude and ChatGPT to do

it, and Claude came up with two very interesting things. One

thing, and this is completely Claude, it says working harder

is like stepping on the accelerator when the parking

brake is on, if you are, if you're not leading yourself

deliberately and intentionally with a system. Wow, that is

powerful. So, working harder is like, let me say it again,

working harder is like stepping on the accelerator with the

parking brake on, if you're not leading yourself deliberately

and intelligently. With the system, I'm like, that is so

freaking profound. Then, does that resonate with you?

Oh, 100% And I like that, you know, me, I love

analogies, and anything that can help my brain, you know, make a

connection that's simple, like dumb it down, you know, from a

where my brain can wrap it, you know, around the idea of the

concept, and that does it beautifully with, with imagining

stepping on an accelerator with your parking brake on, that's

what it, yeah, that's what it feels like. It's like, so, no, I

love that,

You know,

Claude, Claude, so smart.

I tell you, I see so many people are switching

from, from Chat GBT, which I loved, to Claude. It's just, it

just better now that could change in the future, but

yeah.

And here's something else that blew me away

with, with Claude. This shows you the sophistication of it. So

I was talking about writing this new website, and so I write it,

and and there were probably seven or eight things that after

I got it all written, I'm like, oh, I forgot to put that in, or

could forgot to put this in, like, an as an example, I forgot

to put in the bubble up effect, well, that was super important,

because, because that gives you a practical example of how how

this methodology works and so I could all I had to do was say

okay here's the concept that I've got to put in here's my

explanation of it would you figure out where to put it in

and with the press of a button it would put it in, and it would

probably improve my, my own words, and so one of the things

after that, What a burger experience the next day, I go,

okay, so what success I've been blessed with came from working

smarter not harder, and so I say to Clyde, put that in the

website wherever you think appropriate, and it comes back

and it goes, are you sure you want to put that in, and I'm

like, yeah, yeah, I'm sure, and it says, well, here's the

problem. If you put it in just like that, it sounds like it's

a, it's a marketing promotion.

Yeah,

And this is an academic website, essentially,

and it says it's way better to say it's not about working

harder and say nothing else, and I'm like, wow, because if you

say it's not about working harder, then automatically

people's mind goes it's working smarter, but by not saying it,

it doesn't, you get the same message across without it

sounding like marketing. I'm like, wow, talk about the

nuances and the sophistication of these AI models, it's just phenomenal.

Yep, no, it's fascinating, and I think you

know the point that we're trying to make right now about working

smarter. You've just shared an example of that by utilizing

tools you know that are helping your ideas and concepts come to

life, that come to life quicker, come to life. You know, you know

again, it's the, that's just another, you know, example of

working smarter this in the fraction of the time, and, and

you know, with you don't have that level of expertise, you

know, so as far as designing a website and the psychology

behind how the, how the, you know, audience is going to

respond to different language, and you know, so to be able to

do that through a tool like this, you know, it's just, it's

smart, it's working smarter,

Right? Right. Absolutely. And you know, I love

this, this saying that I got turned on to a few months ago,

that you don't rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the

level of your systems, and, and I see how critically important

it is to have a system for leading yourself. I mean, you

got to have a system, and the reality is, I know very few

people that have a system for leading themselves, like, like

we said 100 times, they're just winging life, and the other

thing I saw that was interesting with, with, with Claude was I

would say that, and it would say winging life in a way more

sophisticated. Gated way than I was saying it, but which was was

interesting, and the other thing that was was interesting in this

process, I guess this really started a few months ago. I

asked, I asked Chat GPT, now they think about it, to do a

research project on on the field of leadership of self in in

higher education today in colleges and universities around

the world, so it does it, and it's very thorough, and it says

here's the amazing thing. Well, two sort of amazing things. One

is that the field of advanced leadership of self does not

exist today, because people refer to it in a variety of

different ways, like self mastery, self awareness, all

sorts of things, and it says whoever grabs that moniker and

defines it better than anybody will own the space. Well, I can

do that, I've already done it, and so, but the, the other thing

that was interesting, it says after looking at like 48 top

universities, including Harvard and Stanford and MIT, and it

says they're all missing the thing that you're getting, that

the majority of your daily actions are unconscious, and the

significance of that is your daily actions determine your

success in each area of your life. And it says, How can you

develop a leadership of self model that's effective if you

ignore that? And it says academia is ignoring it, that's

why you can own the space, and so I'm like, I spent a little

time saying, why, you know, I'm that's great to hear, but I'm

like, why is that, that I mean, it makes me, it made me think,

am I missing something? If, if I'm the only one that's getting

this, and everybody else is missing it, maybe, maybe it's

the other way around. Maybe I'm missing something, and everybody

else is getting, and it says no, that's not the case. And it

says, don't worry about why they, they're not getting it,

you've got it, and you're the only one that's promoting this,

and you're connecting the dots, and you're the only one that

actually has created a way of doing life. It's, it's the how

of leadership of self, and so don't spend much time worrying

about it, just go share it with the world, and so, but I

thought, I thought that was so interesting,

So interesting, and you know, again, it just

speaks to the opportunity, you know, because I know how

important making an impact is to you, and, and so the fact that

this has been completely overlooked, you know, and

because everybody's talking about habits, and you know,

Right,

But like they are missing a fund of

foundational and fundamental part of habit of habit building,

you know, and establishing new habits, and so anyway, it's

interesting. I'm very excited about this, from on the academic

side of things, in the direction that think of be it is going. I

love it.

Right, well, and you know, the thing I realized,

and you and I've talked about this before, when, when it was

just you and me, and we're two people that found something that

that was amazing and works, and we start sharing it with the

world. There is so much clutter out there that you can't, you

can't overcome the clutter, and again, you know, as we learned,

this is for the 2% not the 98% so, so you know, that's that's

another factor, but I finally, you know, this, this think a bit

has been a now a 13 year journey, and it finally hit me,

oh, probably three or four years ago, you can't overcome the

clutter, just cannot do it in the success and human

achievement field, can't do it, and because by God we try, but

what I see now is when you come at it. From a different

perspective, when you were, you, when you're coming out at this

from the perspective of of academia at one of the top

business schools in the country and one of the top research

universities in the world, and you're you're promoting advanced

leadership self, which, which is sort of way different from a

perception standpoint than think it be it, you know, people here

think it be it, and they don't, it's sort of catchy, but they

don't know what the heck that

Yeah,

Well, when you say to advanced leadership self,

and you're saying it from the platform of a world-renowned

institution. Now people pay attention.

Yep, absolutely.

Now I haven't proved this, yeah, but I'm

pretty damn sure this is true, and I intend to prove it. So I

don't know, it's, it's, it's gonna be interesting, and, and

tonight I'm going to host like five MBAs, because I want to get

my head into where MBAs are. Think back when you were like 28

years old, you know? I see that it's sort of that perfect time,

because they've been out in the real world and they've, they,

they are now pivoting, so the, and they have the maturity, I

mean, you know that age is is right for something like, like

this, don't you think?

Yeah, I think so. I think you've got enough

experience behind you, and then enough out in front of you, and

enough experience behind you, where, because I think

sometimes, too, when we're dealing with people that are

further along in their life and careers, they may have been, you

know, that that subconscious, it can be sometimes even more a

challenge for people, you know, in their life without having a

system like this, because maybe they've been kicked in the teeth

by life a little, you know what I mean, they're created toward

the idea of something like this being able to work for them,

because maybe they've read a book, read 20 books on personal

development, you know, and nothing ever sticks, and like,

so they've got kind of this, you know, jaded way of thinking

about it, so like you're the spot that you're in right now

with the 2628 year olds is like the sweet spot, you know, in

terms of where they're at in their life, what they've got

behind them and what they've got in front of them. So that's

exciting,

You know. Every everybody wants to be more

successful, and I know you've learned this, as I have. You

know, it's it's not chasing success, it's attracting success

by, by taking yourself and, and literally recreating yourself,

you know, defining here's exactly the person I want to be,

exactly what I want to accomplish, and precisely how

I'm going to achieve my clearly defined goals, you know, that

nobody's done that before, really, you know, but in this

methodology you do it, and then once you, you do that hard work

of defining all that, then you just feed it to yourself every

day, you feed that succinct articulation of your desired

life, and that influences those, those unconscious daily actions,

and they start happening automatically without thinking.

You know, I look at all of this, think, wow, it is so simple, so

friggin simple. So, I don't know, it's going to be a, it's

going to be an interesting journey. I think

I'm excited to see what the future holds, and

I'm very excited about this program, and to see how you know

to see some of the case studies that come out of it, too. This

is going to be really exciting,

Right? So, as we, as we leave you today, so again,

the name of this, this episode is, it's not about working

harder. As you put your head on the pillow tonight, just think

about that. It's not about working harder. We'll see you

next week.