You Can Create a Better Life | DFS 391

Uh, welcome to depth. Okay, let's start that

over. Sorry, yes, delete that, Aaron. Welcome to Destin for

success. I'm your host, Jennifer Takagi, and today I really want

to encourage you to create a better life, a better life for

yourself, for your loved ones, for your friends, for your

community, like just create a better life. I have really been

hit lately with various things come up talking about identity

and it's always shocking to me when I stop to consider how I

have way more power than I really thought I did, and I have

the power to create the identity and the life that I want. I

attended a speaker's Playhouse event that's every Thursday at

1030 Pacific, till noon Pacific, and it's hosted by my bestie,

Kimberly Crowe and her business partner, Jenny Trask, who's also

an amazing woman. And they offer trainings every week, a free

training that you can register for, but you only get it free if

you are there in real life. And one of the free trainings was

for Kelly Heatherington, and she is just a master at

manifestation, and She now teaches manifestation. She quit

her job in finance, where she was making really good money to

make even more money as an entrepreneur, where she gets to

set her own hours, create her own life and live like way

beyond anything she had ever thought was possible when she

had a nine to Five job. Now, if you're still in a nine to five

job, which I recently heard it called a w2 job, if you're still

there, this is for you also like, don't think you have to

burn down the house in order to create a better life. Sometimes

it's just small, manageable tweaks and changes that can make

all the difference in the world. So Kelly was sharing stories

about manifestation and how it has impacted her life, and at

the end, she offered a self guided manifestation class. And

I thought, well, I don't know. Am I going to get it? Am I not

so this is going to end up being a big plug for Kelly and her

program, and there'll be a link in the show notes so that you

can register and grab it yourself if you want. But it was

a self guided meditation or not meditation manifestation class,

and it was set up to be done in four weeks, and super powerful.

And I thought, well, I'm going to go through the motions. Have

you ever done that? It worked for her, just kind of half

assed. Maybe, I don't know. It'll work for me. I don't know.

So, yeah, that's that was where I was. But I thought I paid the

money for it. I'm going to do it. And I knew you were supposed

to listen to these audios every week. I mean, every single day

of the week. And then when I got into it, it was, listen to the

same one, read the same article, rewrite your goal every day for

a whole week, and then you move to lesson two. Do that for a

whole week. Why repetition matters. I reached out to my

little bestie, Michelle Hammonds, and I was like, Is

this right? Am I supposed to be doing the same thing every

single day? And she said, Yes, it's all about the repetition.

And I talked to a friend, and I was like, Man, I'm doing this

manifestation thing. I don't really know about it, but you

have to do the same thing every day. And her gut reaction was,

I'm not doing that. Like, I'm not going to sign up for that or

do that. And I was like, Okay, well, I'm going to, I'm going to

see what happens when I got into about day three of reading the

same article that I had read the previous two days, all of a

sudden a sentence jumped off the page at me, and I thought, did

I? Did I read that before? The answer was yes, yes. I had read

that before, but oh my gosh, now it hit me differently. It's like

if you read the Bible, I've often heard that every time you

read a scripture because you're in a different place in your

life, it can hit you differently. And when I first

heard that, I thought, yeah, that's probably not true. Oh my

gosh, it's true there too. You read the same powerful message

again, you're in a different place, it hits you differently.

It. And one of the main things in this guided meditation, I'm

going to call it meditation, and it's not it's manifestation.

Meditation is kind of part of life, but manifestation is a

bigger one. I'm going to get the word right from here on out.

That's my declaration. But one of the parts of of manifestation

is to know what your goals are? What what do you really want?

What is your goal? And so I had three, and I'll share with you

now what my goal was, and then how it manifested actually

pretty quickly. And one was I wanted to have better

interactions with my husband, where we enjoyed each other more

and could spend more time on the water. We have a place at the

lake. We love going on the boat, and it was like, I want more of

that now. Granted, I started this the first week of December

is I'm in Oklahoma. Like going on the water in Oklahoma's a

little iffy proposition. It can be too cold, it can be too windy

or or it can be both, right, like we got when they say the

wind comes sleep sweeping down the plane, they they meant it,

but that was my first one. And the second one was I wanted to

attract ideal clients, like I want to work with a lot of

people, because I want to impact a lot of lives, and I want a lot

of money, but I also want them to be the right ones. I want

them to be the people who kind of get my sarcastic humor and

really are ready to step in to their own greatness. So it's

like, Ooh, I have all this stuff going on. So I wanted more

clients, and then the third one was more organization to my

house. I've always kind of held the deal. If you give me 15

minutes notice, I can make it okay, enough that I'm not

embarrassed if you come in. My house is lived in people. I live

in it. I enjoy it. I don't get caught up on everything has to

be perfect or I can't sleep. That's just not me at work one

day, it was actually the the day of the Oklahoma City bombing,

and a friend from high school called a man she went to church

with because she knew we worked together, and said, I'm so happy

you're alive. What about my friend Jennifer? And he goes, I

don't know. I don't think she was there yet. Jennifer walks in

every day, turns on her computer and turns on her light. And I

don't remember seeing her light on. I don't think she was there.

And not only was that my morning routine, my nightly routine was

I finished what I was doing, I set my pen down, turned my

computer and light off and left. I it didn't matter what I was in

the middle of, like when I was at a stopping point, I was just

done, and I literally just put my pen or pencil down and walked

away. It's kind of the same way with my house. Okay, it's fine.

I'm just going to go to bed so, but I wanted a little more

organized now, like, I want to get rid of some stuff that's

like clutter ish, and maybe some areas that look really nice, but

maybe I want to streamline it and have a little less. Less is

more, right? That's the thing. So I start working through this

process, and I'm doing the work, and I'm doing it consistently,

and I'm pretty proud of myself for my consistency here and on

the better relationship with my husband. You know how you get in

that little habit where everything they say irritates

you, or everything you say irritates them? And there's

nothing big there's no big reason. It just kind of, it's

almost like a habit. Well, the next thing I knew, we're

spending time together, and there's no little tension

anywhere. It's just easy. And then it's coming up on

Christmas, and the weather's going to be nice, like, really

crazy nice. And I said, Saturday, after Christmas. I

kind of think I don't know, it was the 27th of December, maybe.

And I said, I want to go out on the water. I want to go on the

boat. It's supposed to be almost 80 degrees in Oklahoma that day.

I want to go on the water. And Bill said, Yes. He didn't argue.

He didn't say, what if? No, he wanted to go. I said, just a

couple hours. Let's plan on going about one so you know the

sun's out and you know it says warm and nice. And we called, I

don't know how many sets of friends and texted and said,

We're going on the water. Do you want to go with this? It's a

beautiful day. Every single response was the stupidest

freaking response ever. Oh no, I'm gonna sweep the garage.

Oh no, I'm gonna do laundry. Oh no, we

got they sounded like absolute Are you freaking kidding me? I

couldn't believe it, so I. Bill and I go out, we get on the

boat. And mind you, these people, all they had to do was

come to our house and, like, walk out on the dock, get on the

boat. They didn't have to launch their boat. They didn't have to

do anything. We were only going to say two hours. This isn't a

whole day affair. We get out on the water. It's a little breezy

at first, but then, you know, after we go that way and go the

other way, then now the breeze is our back, we don't notice it.

And I said, Bill, I don't ever want to get so old that when we

have an opportunity on an 80 degree day in Oklahoma in

December, that I say I'm not going to go out and enjoy a

beautiful day on the water because I want to sweep the

garage like I'm never going to want to sweep the garage anyway,

but I wanted to enjoy the beauty, the warm, the sun on my

face. I'm very fair, so I'm always covered in sunscreen and

hats and visors and get virtually no sun. But on an 80

degree day in December, I'm going for it people I am, and so

it was like that whole piece of my manifestation came true in

less than three weeks. We're interacting better, we're

treating each other more with more compassion, and we're

nicer, and it's not that we were mean before, but, you know, you

can just kind of get in those habits. And it was like, I

didn't really change, and neither did he, but I manifested

how I wanted my relationship to be. And you can too. That's what

I'm saying. You can too. The next one was clients. So my

friend Michelle Hammonds and I have been doing a series of

webinars on Wednesdays at nine Pacific, 11 Central, and we were

doing them the whole month of December. And I wanted people to

show up, and I wanted people to show up that would interact. And

lo and behold, we had a session on Christmas Eve, and we had one

on New Year's Eve, and we were told flat out, nobody's going to

come. You should cancel. And guess what? People were there,

and they interacted, and they loved the idea of having

something positive and optimistic. Going in to holidays

this year, Hanukkah and Christmas ran very similarly. I

don't know the exact dates, but they were similar, like people

were celebrating Hanukkah while, you know, leading up to

Christmas, things were happening. So people had a lot

of feelings about that. There was a lot, and they loved coming

to our workshop and then leading up on New Year's Eve. Yep, we

did it on New Year's Eve, and we had, we had people show up, and

they loved it. So I manifested that I brought that together. I

wanted the people to be there and the people to be there who

could benefit the most from it. So let's talk about organized

house. I have been doing so much better at throwing things away.

We moved a lot as a kid, and my mom was really great at throwing

away all my good, precious little treasures, not

necessarily hers, because they were hers. It was her house, but

mine. And I think something I got into my head that it's my

house, I can keep what I want, mentality, which hasn't really

served me all that well. Let's be let's be clear about that.

But I have been doing more and more of Oh, I'm just going to

throw this away. I don't really need it. Oh, I'm just going to

put that in the donation box. I don't need it anymore. And it's

been easier than it ever has been before. I have what they

call, I learned the proper term, trays, and so I have two lower

cabinet doors, and I open them up, and there's a tray that you

pull out, and it had two, I'm going to call it a shelf, two

trays. And the top one just had, like, Tupperware plastic stuff,

so nothing very heavy. And the bottom one has cake pans. Did

you know I bake a lot? I have lots of cake pans, all different

sizes bread pans, and that bottom one was always a struggle

to pull out. I think probably, like one of the little balls,

plastic balls that it rolls on those rollers, probably broke.

But it's always been a little bit of a struggle. But the top

one like a huge struggle to pull that sucker out. I mean, the top

one was super easy. And I pulled it out. I got what I wanted, and

I went to slide it back. And I was not being super harsh. I

wasn't like, yanking it out. I pulled it out, put whatever up,

went to slide it back in. It collapsed, like the whole thing

collapsed, one on top of the. Top shelf on the bottom shelf.

And I was like, Holy crap, early, like, I can't fix this.

And my husband goes, oh gosh, what happened? And I told him,

and he goes, Oh yeah, I'll need to fix that. That being broken

is not a big problem for him. But guess what? It kind of is

for me. It kind of is for me. He is out of town a lot, and so I

got on the phone and called and found somebody who could fix it,

and he came out. I called on a I think it was a Friday. He came

out Monday. He got it fixed. One Piece he needed to take back to

his shop and glue up, and he's going to be back the next day to

get that installed, and it's going to be done. And that's

going to help so much with organization, because I can put

things where they belong. I can put things in there. Jack

Canfield in the success principles, I'm a success

principal certified trainer, and one of the things he talks about

in there are things that are incomplete or undone or broken,

and when we have all these little things going on in our

environment that aren't right, that they're not working

properly, it kind of hangs on you, and it holds you back from

doing other things. So when that top cabinet collapsed on the

lower cabinet tray, the gliding tray, I was like, I have to get

this fixed right away. So I'm already making headway on my

house. So the three main goals better interactions with my

husband, more clients and a more organized house start to come

together quickly. And that idea of an organized house where

everything works, my first thought when that collapsed was,

I need to find somebody to fix this. And I did so you can

manifest the life you want, and then miraculously, you seem to

have the energy to do it. So when you're looking, you know

the second point, when you're looking at building out your

life, the life that you want. Brenda Richard has great

training on your preferences, and he talks about how people

will get stuck, or they're fearful, or they don't know

their next step, all the things, all the things. And he said, in

actuality, it's a preference. Friends, I had a period of time

where I really preferred to watch Netflix than work with

clients. I'm just being completely transparent here.

People, it was easier. Now, did I have the money that I wanted

coming in? Nope, without the money, did that impact my

freedom? Absolutely, without the money coming in, did that reduce

the number of people I was able to impact and help? Yes, but I

had a preference to stay lazy. I had a preference not to do the

work. So it becomes a preference. Do I like being

frustrated? Not really, but sometimes I get so used to being

frustrated that it becomes my preference. Do I really want

more clients? There was one time when I did this guided

meditation, and I'm using that properly, and we were actually

journaling, and the journal prompt was, how many clients do

you want? What would your life be like if you had 10 one on one

clients? And I was like, Oh my gosh, I want 10 one on one

clients, that would be perfect. But I had a program where people

could book on my calendar whenever they wanted, and

somebody could have as many as three slots a week. Well, oh my

gosh, if all 10 each took three slots, that's 30 hours a week of

one on one with clients, and I had other things I needed to get

done in 10 hours was not going to be enough time. And then

someone pointed out, obviously, much further down this

entrepreneurial coaching path than I am. They pointed out

that, guess what? You can block your calendar. You can tell them

they can only have one call a week. You can set them up on

your calendar so it's recurring on the same day at the same

time, so it's easier to keep track of

I had a preference of not having my 10 clients, because my

preference was to have more control over my calendar. I. And

then I learned I could have more control over my calendar and

meet my preference of having 10 one on one clients. It all came

together. It all came together, and it all worked. So my third

part is like, let's map this out. Let's map this out a little

bit. I am going to drop a link on the show notes to sign up for

Kelly heatherington's Four weeks manifestation program. It is

great. You will not be sorry. The first question, the very

first question that you really need to be clear on is, what do

you really want? What do you want? Don't worry, like I did.

Don't do this, do that. Don't worry about how you're going to

manage the 10 clients. Worry about whether you want to work

with 10 clients. What would your life look like if you did what

are all the positive benefits that could come from having your

10 clients? What do you really want? Are you just hanging back

in all the the clutter and the hoarding, whether it's emotional

or physical hoarding, or are you ready to change your preference

and step into what you're truly meant to do, meant to be, you

can begin to create the life of your dreams. You just have to

decide what the life of your dreams will look like. What are

your goals? You might even consider why you want that

particular goal. What are your preferences? Do you prefer to

work in the morning? Do you prefer to work in the afternoon.

Do you prefer to work only in person or only remotely? These

are things that matter and will really help you get clear,

because clarity is Queen people. What do you really want? How do

you want to show up in the world? What kind of life do you

want to lead? Again, I'm going to leave the link in the show

notes for Kelly's program. It's just been like a mental game

changer for me, and I think you're really going to like it

too. So get it. I'm Jennifer Takagi with destin for success,

and I look forward to connecting with you soon. You.