Lady Jen Shares Success Beyond the Hustle | DFS 408

[00:00:04] Welcome to the Destined For Success Podcast. I'm your host, Jennifer Takagi, and this podcast used to be called New Manager Media, Manage Right From The Start. Many of the concepts are the same, but there's a little shift. There's a shift because I know we are all destined for success, and I want to help you find the fastest, smoothest way to reach your highest best

[00:00:33] as quickly as possible. Join me in today's episode where you're going to come up with new ways to build your skills and influence others to make the impact you desire to make. I look forward to connecting with you soon. Welcome to Destined For Success. I'm your host, Jennifer Takagi, and we have the honor and the privilege to have Lady Jen DuPlessis with us today.

[00:01:02] And I met Lady Jen several years ago on a business cruise, and she was just like over there. We didn't really interact much. I just, I just like was introduced briefly. The next year we had like a short little conversation. And then this year, it takes a while to build relationships. This year we hung out. There were lots of Jennifers on the ship. She got us all together at the end for a quarter.

[00:01:27] That's right. We did. I forgot about that. All the Jennifers. It was so fun. So I just want to say, sometimes you have to work into relationships. It takes a while to like see somebody multiple times. Same way with clients. We have to be in front of them multiple times before something clicks. So I'm so happy to have you here, Lady Jen.

[00:01:48] And like, okay, I love this. The Sovereign Leadership Mentor. Yeah. So tell us a little bit about you, where you come from, and like, how did you get into this? I'm just always so curious. And we have so many similarities, aside from the fact that we're both Jen's, Jennifers, and both Sagittarians. So there you go.

[00:02:10] And we're both married. And, and, and, and. Yeah. Yeah. We've been married for a while. Yeah. So, okay. So how did I get into business? Yeah. Like, okay. I just want to back up one half. On the cruise, one night, we're like, I'm sitting at the alchemy bar. It's the place you see and be seen on a cruise. That's where I go.

[00:02:33] It's like a walking. People pass. You see everybody. And Lady Jen walks up and she goes, we just had a little mastermind out there on the deck and I completely changed people's businesses. And I was like, that sounds amazing. And a little bit later, one of the gals you had worked with, visited with, walked by and goes, man, Lady Jen just changed my world. And I was like, Oh my gosh. So I just had to share that with you in case you.

[00:03:02] I didn't know. Yeah, no, I didn't know. Yeah. But thank you. Thank you. You know, that's one of the great things about what we do, right. Is sometimes, you know, it's all about impact and significance, you know, and changing the world and changing people. And sometimes we just don't even know who we're, who are affecting and touching. So it's good to hear every once in a while, right. That, you know, I've had someone come up flinging my book saying, Oh my gosh, I heard you want to be here.

[00:03:28] Will you sign my book? You changed my life 10 years ago. And I'm like, wow, I had no idea. Right. So we just keep swimming, right. We just keep swimming, keep swimming. And, and you know, hopefully we do make that impact in the world and make a change. But yeah, so where it started for me, I'll do the short version because I want to get into some really heavy content with you and make sure that we give people as much value as we can, right. For everybody listening, you guys want,

[00:03:53] you want some value here. So, uh, you know, I, I was, I am one of 36 first cousins and I was the only one who was an only child. I did not know that about you. Yeah. And so, uh, and on top of that, my, my mom was one of 10 kids on top of that. My mom and dad were the low, low people on the totem pole,

[00:04:18] right. My dad was an alcoholic. My mother was a verbal abuser and my uncles nicknamed me Jenny, who ain't got a penny. And I thought it was fun for a while. I carried a penny in my shoe and I said, no, um, but then, you know, we had a really bad incident happen. And my, uh, uncle later told me, you know, you're just going to be just, you're going to be just like them. You're going to be an alcoholic. You're going to be poor. You're going to smoke cigarettes. Uh, you're going to be a verbal abuser. You're just going to, you know, that's how the world goes is those generations.

[00:04:48] And I think back then that's how it was. We've all worked really hard, right. And making sure that we don't have that generational, those generational issues. And, um, yeah, so, I mean, all that happened. So I set out on a life to prove to everybody that I was going to be successful. I wasn't going to be Jenny who ain't got a penny. And so it automatically just, you know, I took that on. And so I, I succeeded in everything in high school and out of high school. I can tell you all the

[00:05:16] things I did, but it's not important, but it's just, I succeeded everywhere. And then I carried that into business. And all I was doing was hustling in business for years and years and years, even as an executive, right. I was an executive management executive VP. I own my mortgage company. Um, even at that, I was still hustling, just feel like I had to prove, prove, prove. And then, you know, we had another incident and I said, you know what, I'm done. I'm done proving

[00:05:43] and I'm going to start living. And I was very successful at that time, but I didn't realize how much more successful I could be. And it came right. And so I set out on these, this strategy that we can talk about, um, to, you know, generate $400 million in revenue with 22 relationships, speaking of relationships, uh, with 22 relationships and, and in that business

[00:06:10] funding over a billion dollars in loans. Um, and so now that's what I'm helping other people do is move from hustle to harm money. Right. I think that a lot of people don't, they're afraid to leave the hustle because they won't make money. And I'm here to say that you can have both and eat it too.

[00:06:35] Right. I love that. So as like, you hear people say things about, uh, money and how bad money is. And I was at an event a few years ago and they were like the most broke ass people ever. And this one woman just kept harping on it and harping on it and harping on it. And I was just a participant, but it was a small group. And so finally I said, you know, you keep talking about how bad money is,

[00:07:04] but back in the olden days, like I would trade you meat for your vegetables. Like it was a very basic trade and then currency came about and we put a value on currency and that's how we trade now. And I don't want to kill animals to have meat to trade. And I surely am not going to grow vegetables. So like I need currency to do that. And so I think it's very interesting how people get

[00:07:31] twisted ideas about money because I really like electricity. I like internet. I like air conditioning. Um, I like, I like, I like the things that money can get. And I love the impact I can make with other people in their lives with being charitable and giving with the money that I have. So I love hustle to harmony. I mean, our money said that wrong. I still was trying to say it right and said it wrong,

[00:07:59] but I love that. It's just so important and impactful. Oh, I lost you. I lost your sound. Is that on my end? Did I hit something? No, all of a sudden I have no sound. Okay. Let me see if it's me.

[00:08:25] No. Okay. Say something now. It died. Here. I'll switch to a different. Okay. I switched to a different microphone, but my microphone didn't die. That's weird. I know. That's so what it was. I know what it was. Okay. I coughed and I put myself on mute and forgot

[00:08:54] to put myself back off of mute. So we'll. Perfect. Yeah. So we'll, you guys can chop that. Sorry. Sorry. Editing. I hate that when you have to have editing, right? No problemo. Yeah. Yeah. So you were, you were talking about currency and money. So yeah. I love that hustle to harmony. And I was saying that instead of harmony. Um, but it's, it's important, right? I mean, yeah, it is. And,

[00:09:23] and you were talking about charitable work, you know, and obviously that's what I do a lot of, you know, as, as a knight, right. As being knighted into a Royal order, we do a lot of charity and that's part of the harmony, right? I mean the, the harmony portion, um, and getting back to really what your original comment was about the sovereign leadership mentor is that, you know, when I was in the hustle, I thought it was all about the mechanics, right? I go to an event, I send a

[00:09:51] thank you note, I get a card, I follow through, I follow up. I, I bugged them. I nagged them. I go to another event. I, you know, call clients back. I do, you know, it was all the hustle that we all have, you know, in, in our daily lives. And, um, once I realized that, and, and I called it mechanics at that time, once I realized that there was a mindset that needed my mindset needed to change,

[00:10:16] um, that's when the momentum happens. So I used to say, and I still do mindset plus mechanics equals momentum. So write that down, right? As you're driving, don't, don't do it while you're driving, but write that down. Mindset plus mechanics equals momentum, because you can't wish and manifest momentum. There's pieces you can manifest. People believe in that, and that's fine. And you can think good thoughts and get good things. But if you don't have the mechanics to support whatever it is,

[00:10:46] your product or service is, then you're not going to create momentum. It'll just be manifesting and not providing results, right? The results are right. And look at, this is the thing. Your brand is your promise delivered. Your brand is your promise delivered. It's not your promise. It's your promise

[00:11:10] delivered. Okay. So you can't just manifest and have results and you can't just do mechanics and have results. There has to be a mindset, a strategy. So sovereign leadership is wielding the sword, the battle every day, right? Going into battle. And even if you win the battle, you're still exhausted, right? And

[00:11:30] you have to do it again tomorrow. Yeah. The scepter is stepping back with strategy. So one is strategic and, you know, the mindset and the other is the doing the mechanics, right? But, but sovereign leadership. And I akin, it's not just sovereign business. It's sovereign leadership because that's how we need to lead ourselves. Then that's how we need to lead others. That's how we make impact in

[00:11:59] the world, right? Is doing it that way. So, so that's where that comes from, but the harmony, and it's the same thing, you know, with hustle harmony mechanics, right? And, and really understanding what the harmony is, but that equals harmony, right? Where you get the best of both worlds. Um, yeah. So, you know, and that allows you to simmer down now and be able to go out and serve others.

[00:12:29] It's, and it, it takes a while to learn that, or at least it did for me. I can only speak for myself. Well, that's me. That's why I'm now teaching. And it took me 35 years. Well, I was doing all the things the coaches and mentors told me to do the best of my ability. And they sometimes lived up to what they promised, but often fell short. Like their promise was bigger

[00:12:53] than their delivery in many cases, not all, but many, but it still wasn't working. Like it still wasn't coming together. And that's when I just, you know, happenstance, divine intervention, serendipity, whatever you want to call it. I ended up on this path of spiritual learning and development and healing and growing. And it was like, Oh, wow. Oh, a friend from high school goes,

[00:13:19] man, Jennifer, of all the people in our whole school, you're the last one I thought would be an energy healer. And I was like, yeah, that's so good at it. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, but that's the truth. And, you know, Sarah, here's the other thing too, that I realized is I was, you know, in the hustle for 35 years in business. So it wasn't, I was 35 years old. I was 35 years in the business and I went, Oh, I should have had a V8.

[00:13:48] Stated a holiday and express last night or whatever. Right. Um, because I finally realized, Oh my God, because you're right. That's what everybody tells you. Everyone tells you that you have to this and you have to that and the, and the stuff, but, um, you know, and I started realizing, wow, you know, I have a very, very high IQ. I won't say what it is, but it's really high. And cause I don't want to intimidate people very high IQ. And I thought I could get away with

[00:14:16] not to get away. I thought that having the IQ would get me everywhere I wanted to go, but it didn't. So I started realizing again, EQ, I need it. I need to develop my emotional intelligence, right? My emotional quotient. And that's a developed skill. That's the mindset. Right. IQ is, I know what I can do. There's the mechanics again, right? Or the, or the sword.

[00:14:46] And so, um, for me, uh, when I started realizing, okay, I have the IQ and we all do, we haven't, we're, we're intelligent. We know our thing, but when we start, when I started, um, incorporating the EQ into it, that's when things really flew, you know, and I let people in and I became authentic and, uh, you know, I wore armor all my life, not even knowing I would ever, who ever thought

[00:15:13] Jenny, who ain't got a penny would ever be knighted. Right. And so, but I was wearing armor and I talked about this armor 20 years before I was knighted. I talked about the armor that I wear armor. I'm very close vested and don't tell people things because what will they think if my, they find out my dad was an alcoholic, what will they think of me? Right. So had all this armor on, but I started

[00:15:41] poking holes in it. I didn't take it off, but I'd started poking holes in it. And I found that my light was shining through and people were attracted to it. And I was like, you mean if I poke more holes, it might be something really great. Yes. And so that's what I started doing. Um, I started just being more open, more authentic. Now I'm still guarded. You know me, you've seen me in a,

[00:16:06] in a business atmosphere. It took three years. I know. And, and I, uh, I'm still very, uh, guarded person. A very private person might be the better way to say it. I don't, I don't like walk in and go, look at me, you know, like some people do in me. So when I get on stage, it's a whole different deal. I'm like, we're talking here, it's a whole different deal, but, um, but yeah, I, I, I'm not like out there like that. Uh, and, and there's still some of that, you know, that shame that still is

[00:16:35] there. And it's not a lot because look at me, I'm talking about everything, right? It's not a lot, but I do protect myself and, you know, and our family does that too. You know, people will say, oh my God, I didn't know you broke your arm. I didn't see it on Facebook. And I go, well, that's because I didn't want to share stuff like that on Facebook. Oh my gosh, your husband was in the hospital for two weeks and ICU. How come I didn't see it on Facebook? How come you didn't tell us

[00:17:00] about it on Instagram? Cause I don't do that. Right. So that's where that coveting comes in. Whereas others might still go, it's me. Look at my face. Look at my arm. Look at my husband. Um, yeah. So anyway, that's where that all comes from. So I don't know, I don't know where I was going with all of it, but that's a little rant on. I hope y'all liked it. I don't know. We'll see. Well, yes. And I, I heard somebody once described as the most open and public private person ever.

[00:17:29] Yeah. And so I think that would probably describe you a little bit. Oh yeah. You're handed a mic and a marker and a whiteboard and you go to town, right? Like that's how you show up to impact the world. But at the same time, you're not going to share all those little nuances. It's kind of funny. My husband and I spend a lot of time apart. Hence we've been married almost 34 years.

[00:17:58] You know what our secret is? Dogs, dogs. They're the buffer. Yeah. It's like having a disc in your back. It's good. We both are whole, uh, when we dated and first married, well, for many years of our marriage, one of us was traveling quite a bit. So we kind of had that cadence where we had a little bit of alone time and it just kind of worked out that way. And he started selling real estate at our

[00:18:23] lake place. So there you go. It works out great for us, but somebody made the comment to him. They, they met me and they were like, Oh, you really are married. And he was like, yeah. And her pictures all over Facebook and we do things together all the time. And yes, it's like the same with me. Yes. I'm married. I talk about bill, but do you seem next to me all the time? No, not really. We kind of have different interests and a whole lot of same answer. So it works out, but you don't,

[00:18:52] you don't have to put everything out there. No, but you do have to put what you want people to know and how you want them to come into your world. I mean, that's like, absolutely. That's like how I want to attract you into my world with what I do. Well, it's funny because people will say, in fact, I just had a workshop here in Virginia where I live with, with, you know, my clients,

[00:19:17] they were here for three days and they were like, you're so fun. I didn't know you were so fun. Right. And I was like, yeah, I am fun. Right. But I don't want to have to tell people on stage, oh, by the way, I'm fun. I'm really fun. It's like, you got to get to know me and then you'll know that I am, but it's taking that, you know, that time to do it. But I, you know, I'm very selective with people. It's, it's always been my, my thing. I've been very selective with people. I work with

[00:19:44] people that compliment and not complicate. I tend not to work with gossipers. I don't like working with, you know, and whenever there's gossiping, I'm just like, Ooh, I'm not swallowing that. I'm going to walk away. It's just, it's just who I am. And I, I don't know, you know, I've got, my mom was social and my dad was like Clint Eastwood. You know, I would say my mom is like Sally field. She's like, they love me. They love me. They love me. Right. She was constantly like

[00:20:11] that. Always doing service as things. So has my father. He has an entire, um, oh gosh, what do they call it? Habitat for humanity neighborhood named after him. Um, but he's Clint Eastwood. He didn't say much, but when he said something, you had to lean in to listen. And so there's that dichotomy of, of who I am. So, you know, one's always struggling with the other saying, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. You

[00:20:35] know, it's not fun being your, your string to your own helium balloon. I've never heard that before, but I got a side of me that wants to go do the helium balloon. And then I have the string going, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. My gosh. I love this. Okay. So down to brass taxes of

[00:20:59] business. Yeah. I want to grow my business. I want to do better. I want to show up more, not necessarily like more, more, but like, yeah, it's me. So give us some pointers. Like what, what can we do? Yeah. Well, the first thing I would say is start with the scepter, have a strategy for everything you do, everything. If you're going to a networking meeting,

[00:21:25] have a strategy, don't just go right. So what's your before during and after, you know, what is your intent? Who are, who's attending? Do you know the, the event organizer? Can you ask the event organizer to, to connect you with people that, you know, might be speaking there. Could you ask to invent organizer to introduce you to other people that are attending? You know, don't go there trying to be everybody's friend and be, I call it a squirrel, right? I have a lot of S's for

[00:21:54] networking. One is a squirrel. All they're doing is gathering nuts and they don't do anything with it. Right. So they're just gathering nuts and they're being a squirrel, but don't be a squirrel, go in there and be, and don't be a skunk. And don't be that. That one is like, work with me. You need to work with me. And let's have a conversation, right? Don't be a sloth. Don't be one who just walks in and stands on the corner and waits for everybody to come to you. And you're only going to work with someone. Oh, this is a waste of time. I hate doing this. Right. You know,

[00:22:23] it's all those pieces, but go in, go in as a spider, right? You're creating a web of an, a network of web that is attracting people. And you only need a few people, right? At each event, some really deep, good conversations and the rest will all come out later, right? It's just some really good conversations. So I would say that's before the during is having the conversations,

[00:22:47] knowing what questions to ask, learning about them because they, we all love to talk about ourselves. So let them have that opportunity. Don't try to pitch them. Don't try to sell, them when you're networking, it is simply to identify potential partners, partners, not clients. Because as a, if you come to me in a networking, there's a 50, 50 shot, I'm going to tell you no,

[00:23:11] and then off you go. Right. But if you talk to me about what you're doing, who you're serving, what kind of results you get, how I can help you, if I'm asking those questions, how I can help you that I might be able to give you 50 clients who have a high percentage of conversion because I've edified you. So that's what you want to be doing there. And then after, you know, what is the follow through? Do you have white space or are you going to another networking

[00:23:39] event where you're being a squirrel? And then another networking event where you're being a squirrel, or now you turn into a skunk because you're not getting results. You're not making money from being at a, an event. And that's not why you're there. You're there to identify potential partners. So that's just one example, but it's everything. If you're on a podcast, what's the before, what's the during, what's the after. And that's what I'm now coaching on, as you know, the golden mic and, you know, what to do before having the strategy before the strategy during,

[00:24:07] and the strategy after to dare I say manifest and create, manifest and create opportunities for you, you know, endless, endless, endless opportunities, right. Which is a whole other subject because I'm working on something that is so incredible. I cannot wait to share it, but yeah. So I would say, you know, strategy for everything. If you're being asked to go to a conference,

[00:24:35] why, why do you need to be there? Let me write this down. Don't go for FOMO, only go for promo. And that promo is that you're on stage. That promo is that you're a sponsor and a speaker. That promo is because everybody in that audience is your ideal client, right. And you might be going

[00:25:03] to an event because you need something in that EQ world, right. Some personal development. Maybe I'll go to a retreat because I need to get my head back on straight. Right. So I'm going for personal promotion of my, my person. So no more FOMO, only promo. So if you assess those three things and one of those legs doesn't work, then don't go. It's not worth your time, energy, and effort.

[00:25:29] So that's insane. I said before people were, have been a little bit astonished, but there was, there was something going on. And I said, I am better off watching Netflix than I am doing that. Right. And they're like, what? Like you're an entrepreneur, you're a solopreneur, you're doing, and I'm like, yeah. Yeah. And I think I'd just rather watch that Netflix show than that thing.

[00:25:58] So it is, it's, and I, uh, through my entrepreneurial journey, I'm starting to be more discerning of what I do and where I put my time. Yeah. And, but that's kind of a hard thing, right? When you, when you don't have a network at all and you, sometimes it's hard to find that lane. If you're a little bit newer, it's like, you kind of have to throw a net in the water and see what's caught to

[00:26:25] figure out that. So there is a little bit of that learning curve, but as you learn more of how you want to show up, how you want to be in the world, then you find the people that you want to go hang out with. Yeah. I always, always say this is a, I mean, there's so much packed into that comment that you said, Jennifer, it's, you know, the, the, um, I don't know. There's, there's like

[00:26:50] so many, there's so many pieces in this. Yes. You have to cast a big net, but casting a big net is not, um, being a skunk to people that's not casting a big net. Right. And I know you are referring to that, but I'm just making sure we understand that it's not go to all the networking because you don't have any people, et cetera. Right. It's, it's go there with purpose and intention instead of

[00:27:18] this. And this is what I find that a lot of clients do, uh, is that when they come to me, they're eating soup with a fork. Yep. And that's all they do all day long is they're just rushing, rushing, rushing, rushing, eating soup with a fork. They're not fulfilled. Their bank accounts, not fulfilled. Their calendar is not fulfilled. Nothing, nothing's filling up because they're just doing what someone told them they should be doing instead of having that intention to do it. And that's where the scepter comes in. The scepter said, you know, in that the says, I don't know,

[00:27:46] but in the scepter, you know, when you're strategizing, it's what is the action I'm going to take? You would never walk onto a battlefield and go, well, we're here. We don't know how many of them there are. We don't know how many of us there are. We don't know who's in charge. We do. Do we have horses? Does anybody have horses? Do you even have, right? And that's what people are doing. And if we just stand back and say, okay, what is that strategy? I think that that's going to,

[00:28:11] you know, pan out much better. One of the things I do is that all of my partners are categorized. They're not just partners, right? They're not just referral partners. Um, so I have 12 apostles. So I look for the 12 people that I would bend over backwards in the middle of the night for, and they would do the same for me. Right. And that's where I said that excitement I have with

[00:28:37] like the endless opportunities. I've identified 48 ways that people can, can collaborate together as, as business partners, um, or, or as collaborative partners, have you want to referral partners, affiliate partners, 48 different ways. And that provides something called eight and decilion, not trillions, not billions, not gazillions, undecillion, undecillion. It is larger

[00:29:03] than the sands of grain, the sands on the earth, all the grains of sands on the earth to could go to the moon and back. And then some of opportunities. That's what it does is it creates this combination that is indescribable. It's 8.07 times 10 to the 67th degree. It's, it's just undescribable. Right. Um, and that's what we need to be doing. So with those 12, so find, find and focus on 12 people

[00:29:33] that if, if 12 people gave you one quality referral a month, that was a higher percentage of conversion because you're edified, right? So one, each one of them gave you one that would give you 12 qualified referrals per month. How would that change your business? Now, what if they gave you two, how would

[00:29:58] that change your business? If you had two, 12 people giving you two qualified referrals per month and your product service, whatever is five grand, you have a million dollar business. You got to know your numbers. And that's what being working in the scepter spectrum of this is, is understanding, Oh, it's not that hard. I don't need millions of people following me. I need to find the right

[00:30:25] people. That's just the 12, but then I had 22, right? I now suggest my clients have 56, but it starts with the 12 apostles or whatever you want to call them champions, eight pluses, super duper referral partners, whatever you want to call them dolphins, whales, guppies, whatever people call them all different things, whatever you call them. But, but that's where your focus goes. That's

[00:30:48] where you're, you shine your light. So when you go to networking, your, your focus is, can they fit my criteria for my 12? Do they raise to the standard of what I need from those 12? Because if someone says, well, I, you know, I don't refer, they can't be an apostle. And that means I can't give them me

[00:31:13] because that's currency. Yeah. That's a currency you talked about, right? So I'll do all these things for you. I'll promote your thing. I'll share your book. I'll do this. I'll write the review. I'll have you be a speaker. I'll have you do this, that, and the other, these 48 things. I'll do all of that for you. But the currency is what are you going to do for me? It's not about gimme, gimme, gimme. It's expand, expand, expose, share, expose, right? So that I have the opportunities,

[00:31:43] but then add all the rest of them in and imagine what your practice could do. Powerful stuff. Powerful stuff. Thank you. People just make it so hard in business. It's like so easy. You'll find 12 people. Go find 12 people that love you, right? And love back on them.

[00:32:06] Oh, I love that. That's so, it's so good. And it's so true. And you never know who those people are going to be, right? Like I, I have season tickets to the Oklahoma City Thunder. I go to the same restaurant bar before every game with all my friends. I had a birthday party there and we took up the whole entire, you know, horseshoe bar thing. And, and the bartenders are like, you can't sit

[00:32:32] there. There's a party coming in. You can't sit there. So super, I feel like it's cheers situation. Yeah. But one day somebody goes, what do you do? And I said, oh, my camera just died. I said, oh, well, I have a podcast. And they said, a podcast? Well, what is it? And two years passed, easily two

[00:32:54] years passed. Is this going to reconnect? Boom. Nope. Um, it'll come back in a sec. Um, and she gets, she stopped me and she didn't even work there anymore. She was there for another event. And she goes, oh my gosh, I love your podcast. And I was like, wait, what? Like, I didn't even know you do. I had a podcast much less like you watched it or I mean, listen to it. So you never know,

[00:33:23] um, where those 12 could possibly come from. It's super cool. I'm going to pause that. And you know, yeah. Okay. So it's super cool there. Oh, I was going to say, if you want to stop. I know you go ahead. This is real life. This is what we do. Yeah. Yeah. I know. I want to write a book about if the microphone could talk. Um, if the microphone could speak, all kinds of stories

[00:33:49] of everything that we do. Um, you don't know, like I was shocked to find out that one of the bartenders, which they're all amazing. Right. Right. Um, I listen to your podcast every week and it was like, like who knew, like, you don't know who you're going to impact that kind of circles back to our earlier piece of the conversation. You want to make an impact in the world. And so you don't

[00:34:16] know who you're impacting. Well, and yeah. And it's like, be, you know, be nice to everybody or is, you know, Dr. Greg Reed, uh, founder of secret knock says TTE, talk to everyone, talk to everyone, you know, cause you don't know what you're, you know, I sat next to, um, Lee Steinberg for two days at an event with Greg. Now, if you don't know who Lee Steinberg is the movie, um, uh, I don't even

[00:34:42] know. Jerry Maguire was made after him. He wrote that manifesto. And this is why all athletes do charity work and he won't work with someone who doesn't period end of story. So I'm sitting next to Lee. He's an older gentleman. You know, he's very, he's in his late seventies now, maybe. Oh gosh, Lee, if you're listening, I'm sorry, but he's, you know, in his seventies and I just would smile at

[00:35:06] him and that and Greg doesn't allow any name tags ever, um, because he wants everybody to talk to each other. And, uh, and I was sitting next to him and I went to lunch and I came back and I sat next to him the next day I sit next to him. I think, but it really talked to him. Cause I'm like, oh, it's an old man. I was judging, right. I was doing all this judging. And then Greg starts going, anybody here, Jerry Maguire, yada, yada, yada. Well, the real Jerry Maguire, please stand up. And there he goes. Right. And I was like,

[00:35:31] oh, I had two days to sit next to him. What is my problem? And so we, we can judge people, you know, we get to the point where we, we start judging people and thinking they can't be somebody, but I'll tell you of those 12 that I was talking about, you know, and I was in the mortgage business at the time. I still have 12. They're different now, but those 12 for that $400 million in revenue,

[00:35:55] four were realtors. That's it. Two were my clients who came to me over and over and sent everybody. In fact, one of them was the head of TSA. And every time a new TSA guy, a employee came in, woman or man came in, he'd say, are you buying a house? Are you buying a house? Let me get you to Jen because Jen will take care of you. She'll get you on the path. If you're not ready yet.

[00:36:19] He was my, really my number one referral partner, right? He was a client. So we have to tell our clients what we do. We have to tell everybody what we're doing, but we don't have to beg people to work with us. I love that. I love that because people they're naturally drawn to you when they know what you do and how you can help. And that, oh, wait, what did you say earlier? Like your brand is

[00:36:44] delivering on your promise. Yeah. When you deliver on the promise. Oh my gosh, this is such a fun conversation. We could probably get all day. I know. I know. Next cruise, next cruise. We'll have to carve out some time. Yeah. Yeah. Except, you know, I'm not going on any of them. So this year, next year. Maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, you know, FOMO versus promo. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:37:13] So I think I'm at that point, you know, for that particular cruise, just, you know, that it would be FOMO if anything. Yeah. Well, you know, it's very interesting. We were talking about whether or not to go. Yeah. And someone said, you've already been three times. Why would you go? Why would you go back? And okay. I'm very new to that whole circle of people. Like I said, the first cruise I went on,

[00:37:38] I knew four people and three of them didn't speak to me at all. Once we got on the ship. So it's like, like, thanks. I'm the new girl. And you're not walking me through. Yeah. I've moved a lot as a kid. And so I kind of know how to be the new girl, but I usually find somebody who's going to help me out. And they were people I would have thought and nope, I was wrong. Next year, I meet a few more people. Some I had met the first year and they're like, I kind of recognize you, but who are you again?

[00:38:07] Because it's a big group, but it's 400 people. Yeah. People travel with their people, right? Like in their group of eight or 10 or 50 or whatever. And so then this third year, now that I've been there kind of as an independent, it's kind of like being the only girl, not in the sorority. And you keep showing up that. I'm like that too, though. I'm kept showing up. And so then this year,

[00:38:35] probably when there were so many super fun, like odd moments that happened, but I was walking from one end of the ship to the other. This woman stopped me. I recognized her, but I didn't remember her name. She didn't remember mine. And she goes, we met before we never reconnected. And I said, you are exactly right. So we, she goes, let me find your phone number, but wait, what's your name? And I was

[00:39:00] like, Oh my God, I love this so much. And what is your name? So we are going to connect. We do have a plan, but it took several times. Yeah. Yeah. And so I am going to go back one more time. I don't know if I'll go back after that, but it was like, I'm just now feel like I'm getting the lay of the room a little bit. Yeah. I know it takes some time, right? Yeah. And, and so, you know, it, it does,

[00:39:28] you said this in the very beginning, you know, relationships take time. I mean, unless you're on blind at first sight or whatever, married at first sight or whatever it is, whatever that is that we, whatever that stuff is, you know, I mean, it truly in life, it takes time and it requires work and it requires dedication to determining whether or not a relationship is good. And if when people walk in and I can, you know, you're an empath, I'm an empath. We both can walk into a situation

[00:39:56] and I know the only thing they want to do is they're biting their tongue to say to me, do you want to buy my product? Do you want to buy my product? And, and I don't do any of that anymore. I don't allow it. Um, I don't allow it to be said to me because you know, my, my mentors, I don't even have coaches anymore. They're mentors to me where we are at a different height together, um, where I can call them and they can call me and I don't really have to pay for anything anymore.

[00:40:25] And I might go to a retreat. I might want an AI thing. I might, but you know, let me come to you. And I think that's the best thing is, you know, and I was talking about poking holes in that armor is let your light shine and let people come to you, uh, with what their needs are based on what you've told them, how you serve your, your clients, but go first in the relationship. Always ask them first, tell me about yourself. Not what do you do? Cause people, I had a really

[00:40:55] big, hard time with that on the cruise to share is that I would say, well, tell me, tell me about yourself. And they go, well, what don't I do? And I didn't even ask them, tell me what you do. And they're just natural response. Well, what don't I do? And they started raining on me with all the things they do. And I just wanted to know, what is the one thing that you do? How do you, who do you serve? What do you do for them? And what are the results you get? Right? That's what I

[00:41:23] want to know and how you do it underneath all of that. I don't care about, you know, because you shouldn't care about it. You should be asking me those questions and saying, this is what I do and how I serve people. What are your needs? Is there one thing in there that I maybe could help you with instead of info dumping on me? I call it show up, throw up and hope up.

[00:41:49] You have so many cute little phrases. Right? But that's exactly what it is, is show, they show up, they throw up and then they hope up that you're going to work with them. And you don't even know. In fact, the same way with podcasting, like you were talking about, I was just an event last week in LA and I got on the, the elevator and I was chatting with one of my clients who I had with me. And somehow the fact that I had a podcast came up and this woman who was standing in there, not even part

[00:42:15] of our group standing in there said, you have a podcast? And I said, yeah. And she goes, I want to be on your podcast. And I was like, you don't even know my name. You don't even know who I am. You don't know what I, what I do. And I have three podcasts. So maybe you've missed out on a really good opportunity to be on a podcast because you just threw up, you know, showed up, throwed up and helped up. And I said, Oh yeah, we do. Yeah. Well, all of the bells ringing, you can go by

[00:42:45] and it happened to be their floor. And I'm like, Oh, okay. Bye. You know, but that's not going to be. Yeah. Yeah. Right. And that's not how relationships are made and built. That's just not how they are. You know, they're not gosh. Well, this has been an awesome conversation, lady, Jen. I always love spending time with you and hope that we will be at some event in the near

[00:43:08] future and get to see. We will, we will. As we're wrapping this up final words for the audience. Yeah. So I always end my, my everything with this quote, we flatter those. We scarcely know, we please the fleeting guests, but we deal many a thoughtless blow to those. We love the best. Now I like adding be as good to yourself as you are to your business. And I'll do it with that.

[00:43:38] I love that. Thanks so much for being here. Yeah, absolutely. Thank you for having me. Great work that you're doing. And you've been on my podcast as well. I, I have. Yes, you have. You've been on my podcast as well. And I want to thank you for being such a great guest. And, and I'm going to be as bold to say, as you're listening today, take the time to go and create a great review, give, give Jennifer a five-star rating and do a

[00:44:04] great review so that she knows that the work that she's doing is great in this world. Well, thank you for that. And thank you for that reminder. I'm really bad about throwing that reminder. So yes, like share, give a review, say that you love it, say what you want. Thank you so much for that reminder. I appreciate it. Of course. I'm Jennifer Takagi, your 12 minute success coach with Destined for Success. I look forward to connecting with you soon.

[00:44:33] Thank you for taking your time to spend with me on this latest podcast of Destined for Success. Please take a moment to leave a review, share it with a friend and subscribe and get the newest episodes every Monday morning. I'm Jennifer Takagi and I look forward to connecting with you soon.