Who Am I? with Christina (Tina) Spoletini | EP001

Jo-Anne Kobylka: today's podcast is about who am I? Reminds me of the TV series of CBS, Los Angeles and the opening melody of who are you? Ooh, hoo, hoo, hoo. My guest today is Tina, and I'm gonna ask you to tell us a bit about herself and her business. Nina?

Hi, yeah, my name is Tina Fortini. I am living here in Edmonton, with my three kids and my husband. I was a stay at home mom for many, many years. And once my older kids became they were twins. And once they turned 16, they began driving and I kind of lost my stay at home, will I guess I could say, I kind of lost myself. So I needed to go find myself. And while I was looking for that, I discovered I wanted to be a stylist for plus size women. And that's how I started. And that eventually turned into self love coaching. And now it's self love and confidence coaching. They're almost the same, just a little bit. There's a few little things in confidence coaching that is different.

Jo-Anne Kobylka: Well, it's not to, to really dive into you know, our authentic self and who am I? We're going to look at different masks that we wear every day. And in the past. When do you use your masks? Do you have an a different personality authenticity when you're coaching than when you're at home?

Wow, that's a good question. So I I'm not one I don't like to use a mask. I like to be who I am. You know, most of the time, no matter who I'm with, and I like to think that that's what I do. I don't put on put on a mask. I don't like to pretend. I'm not really sure if I'm different at home than I am outside of home. I know that with my kids. I you know when I have to discipline or punish or you know, I call it give it give them shit. I use a different tone in my voice 100%. But I wouldn't say that's a different mask. I don't like yeah, I don't like to pretend. So I prefer to be myself.

Jo-Anne Kobylka: So if you were if you were working with a client, and you had to, would you give them that same tone if they weren't following through on what their, let's say their homework or what they were doing to be more authentic for them and in their self love? Would that be the same kind of energy and tone that you would give them? Know what you would give your children?

Yeah, no, no, yeah. I have to be honest there and say no. I mean, I do look at my clients as my family. But I mean, the reality is they're not right. And so I would use a more professional tone, I might say the same thing or the same point. But I wouldn't use the same tone for sure.

Jo-Anne Kobylka: So what would what have you found with the clients that you have specially in women that need self love, or that dressing for themselves to have the authentic self? Have you come across any types of masks that they wear?

Oh, 100% Yeah, you know, there are many masks out there many, many masks. And most of the time, women don't even realize that they're wearing them, you know, so that I always use the example of a dressing room, you know, you go to the store, buy clothes on, and I'll choose an outfit or two or three, and they'll put them on and they won't come out of the dressing room, and they're terrified. They're like, I would never wear this. Right? And I never pick it up it for someone who it doesn't look good on them. Right? So when I look at her, I'm like, okay, but you look amazing. And why you wear this and while it shows this and it shows that and oh my god, what was my husband say? And I'm thinking, Well, what does it matter? Like if you're comfortable? It looks great on you in the eyes of someone who doesn't know you that well. Right? Or someone who knows enough about you that can say this is an outfit that suits your personality. Right? What what does it matter what someone else thinks it's all about how you feel inside?

Jo-Anne Kobylka: I see so some of them may be feeling very vulnerable or are scared and and that has a different tone of energy. We carry within our bodies, you know, especially if they're saying, Well, what am I? What will my husband think of this or my partner? And yet to have someone like yourself, or someone on the that they don't know very well, there's, there seems to be apprehension to feel that trust. Someone that says, you know, that really looks good on you. And so what do you think that, you know, using your intuition, because us women use our intuition all the time? But do you think they're trying to hide or, you know, cover up?

Well, I think that they're trying to hide themselves, you know, like, sort of, minimize who they truly are. Because many times I find, they might have like, really vibrant personalities, but they've been told, you know, to tame it down, right, you're too much, you're too much of this, you're too loud, you're too, you know, you're, you're just too obnoxious, you need to calm down and just be like everyone else. And unfortunately, I mean, many of us are told that while we're growing, and so, we believe that that's how we are that were too much. You know, we're, that's not that's not who we truly are. Right? And I'm like, Okay, you need to be you, you need to be you and only you, right, because we're living your true self.

Jo-Anne Kobylka: Right. And sometimes when we're with others, hearing that we have to tone down is also telling us that we're not to be focused upon, that we're to be seen, but really not heard too much, you know, because the other person is the one that needs that focus. And it's really that exact opposite of that, that that insecurity to the person that thinks that they have to be focused on us.

Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

Jo-Anne Kobylka: Would you say that? That, if they dropped, what would happen if they dropped their masks?

I think, yeah, I think at first, it's terrifying for them, because other people know them as who they been pretending to be for so long. That now if the real person comes out, everyone is gonna be like, I don't like this person. Right? But I, I know in myself, like, I can be very quiet. I consider myself an extrovert. But if I'm in a new community or a new a roomful of people, I don't know, I tend to be a little bit more on the quiet side. But I'm also very witty. So I let out these little comments that people are, you know, they look at me and they go, Wow, like, she's like, not hiding. But you know, she's trying to come out and. Right. And I think we all have that, to some degree, right. And I think that if the real person comes out, people will accept them for who they are. Because in the end, I want to believe anyway, that the way we show our love, it's natural. Face, fake it, right. And so I think, if you're meant to be loved, you will be loved.

Jo-Anne Kobylka: I believe that so too, and it shows it you're you being as authentic as you can be with your clientele, as in your business and with business, women or just women, that that gives them an opportunity to see what their authenticity could be like, and who they can be and who they truly are. And taking off the mask, like you said is a it's a big risk, especially if they had come to knowing everything. So I'd like to thank you, Tina, for coming on and sharing your insights and everything with your being and your business. And we'll see everyone next time. Take care. Awesome.

Thank you, Joanne.