Growing Can Be Uncomfortable | EP006

Jo-Anne Kobylka: This episode is talking about growing can be uncomfortable. What if I told you that feeling uncomfortable, might actually be the sign that you are on the right track? That's right contrary to what we've been taught, and believe this comfort can be a signal that you are growing into a person you are meant to be. In fact, there are some surprise signs that indicate that you are on the right path. Even if you do not feel good in the moment. You see, we all have an idea of who we want to be. But often that vision is clouded by societal expectations for our own fears and insecurities. As we navigate through life, we might find ourselves in situations that challenge our beliefs, values, or push us out of the comfort zone. It is in these moments that we have the opportunity to grow and become the person we are truly meant to be. So what are the signs that we are on the right track, even if it feels uncomfortable? First of all, you may have outgrown old dreams. Self awareness is one of the universal markers of inner growth. As we grow up, we often realize that we are supposed to be to pursue might not be the same things that we really want. We actually outgrow some of our dreams, plans and desires more often than we expect. Even if we're not conscious of what's happening. outgrowing our old dreams, my might make it seem like we've lost our potential or missed an opportunity. But in reality, we simply let go of old dreams because they were originally meant for the person we no longer are. When I was a kid, I used to picture myself becoming a scientist or quant or working in a laboratory. But now I'm older, I realized I only had those dreams and aspirations because it's what people around me wanted to be. Secondly, you have done with the surface hack, surface level happiness, wearing those stylish clothes and only expensive gadgets used to give you a lot of confidence. Now you're more concerned about feeling good inside, or just looking. Instead of having a cool weekend or spending your nights partying in the bar. You want to have a quiet, but fulfilling and relaxing weekend at home or reading a good book. Instead of seeking that approval from others, you're more interested in discovering yourself and practicing self loves. This doesn't necessarily mean that you are not concerned with the social media. You might just still like tweeting or posting stories online. But you, you have understand that that's only a small part of you. That's something big enough to pin your entire existence on. You might still want to dress up, but you do it because you like going out and putting in the effort. And not because you're trying to win impossible standards set by others. The superficial happiness is not enough for you anymore, because life is starting to have more depth and substance. Like other people in the process of growing up, you start to realize that existing on the surface wouldn't be fulfilling. So you tried to keep find a deeper meaning in your life. Third, you keep asking, asking reasons why. When we grow up, we'll start questioning why things happen instead of accepting them as they are. We wonder why people react in certain ways, or why they hold on to certain beliefs. We ask why relationships and and how it all unfolded, and what kind of role we played in it. People get triggered by certain things. We want to understand how they think and respond so that they can build better relationships and navigate through some life smoothly. Our desire to understand why things happen the way they do it is one of the important entryways to changing our lives. When we start asking the right questions, we start seeing how many people live their lives on autopilot. We want To be different from them, but finding our purpose and making the most out of our existence. Number four, you feel embarrassment over your past choices. We were all young and immature once. So it's understandable that we did things that were not proud. Nobody has, has to feel embarrassed about their past, but some people do, especially when they went through a more intense growth period than others. Looking back at our past, including what we did or said or wore, could make us cringe, as embarrassing as it it is to remember those things, our feelings are actually in a sign that we are growing, we start to understand that our that all of his choices came from a place of insecurity, unconscious beliefs, or a desire to fit in. Although it might be uncomfortable to look back at your past, self, at first, being able to do so is a huge step towards realisation that you're a different person from before, and that it's a sign of real growth. Number five, he lost contact with lots of people. Aside from going from outgrowing your dreams, losing contact with somebody is one of the major signs that you are changing, your social circle might might no longer fit you. Because of all you already grew apart. This doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you or them, it just simply means that you don't enjoy the same things or have anything in common anymore. You are changing, so the people you get along with change to but as as much as losing close relationship can be upsetting or even devastating. It also can shake you awake and put you on a journey of self discovery. One important thing is to always remember is that people come in and out of your life. Even if you don't always want them to. It is okay to be sad, angry when they leave. But everything happens for a reason. And you need to learn how to trust the process. After all, you can always meet new people that are friendlier and more like you. Number six, you are concerned about quality over quantity. A fast paced lifestyle with without much substance is not enough for you or anymore. Whether it's about friends work, or life experiences, you find it better to have a few meaningful friends or memories that keep you close to the heart. You might be more interested in in having a tight knit circle of friends. Instead of a dozens of acquaintances you only see now in then you are more drawn to a few projects to focus on instead of filling your days with tons of work that don't have any impact on your life. You prefer taking a trip or two every year to have more memorable experiences instead of always being on the go, but not really present at any moment. Rather than owning lots of things, you realize that all you need to keep is a few good ones. Anything beyond what you actually need, or momentarily want. You can spread spread you too thin, it might not be enjoyable for you. Number seven, you learn to let things go or flow. One of the most important things we learn as we grow is to let go of control. having power over something can make us feel safe and secure. But things don't always go as planned. And people don't always behave the way we want them to. Letting go of control is a daunting at first, but only when we learn to do it. Can we move on and have space for more important things in life? Once you let things flow the way you're supposed to, you can experience progress and feel a lot happier than before.

We can't always control the words and reactions beliefs, and even opinions of people around us. It can hurt to find out some people, someone isn't on our side when they are close to us. But understanding that their behavior is out of our responsibility is a huge gain a huge sign of growth. As we grow, we slowly learn that we are valuable regardless of what other people say or do. Once we realize our worth, we stop running ourselves ragged or vying for the approval. Number age, you understand others points of view, with your desire to find that deeper meaning in life, also comes the compassion to learn new things. Curiosity makes us grow. So we, we all also open up to the viewpoints of other people, we try to understand where they're coming from instead of simply shutting them out for having different different perspectives. Our point of view is always different from other people. Most of us have preconceived judgments of others, which can often lead to misunderstandings. We jump to conclusions quickly because we don't understand the way they think. We never really understand a person until we walk in the world, in their shoes. When we see through the eyes of others, we also start to understand their own unique experience, backgrounds and circumstances. But don't always have to agree with others to know them. Opinions aren't always clear, one way or another. So understanding their beliefs gives us a more diverse view of how people process information and experience life. Number dying, you look for ways to rediscover yourself as we grow up as normal for some of us to find less time for our hobbies. Our time for music, art, sports, or other creative endures, diminished as you find yourself getting more concerned about your life and career. But there also comes a time when you start rediscovering things. You might find the old songs, you listen to make you feel certain emotions again, you also start redesigning small details of life with more care than before. This all means that you're coming home and rediscovering the essence of your true self. When I was in high school, I used to love to play sports. I was either involved in school sports or community sports. Now that I'm older, I'm trying my best to just rediscovered my love for sports, even though I may not be able to participate in them anymore. Number 10. You enjoy doing things alone. With smaller circle of friends and a desire to rediscover yourself more. It's not surprising to find yourself enjoying some things alone. And it's not a bad thing. It simply means that you're comfortable enough in your own skin to keep yourself pumping. You don't need to depend on other people to make you happy because you know yourself well enough to do things you generally genuinely enjoy. Many people read this sine of growth wrong because being alone means they think that they have no support. But it actually means the opposite. It means that you are capable enough to do things on your own and still have fun. Being independent also means to gain more confidence and taking matters into your hands. Whether it's plant, it's playing computer games on your own, taking yourself out for a nice dinner, or seeing a new movie or on your day off. Don't be afraid to enjoy doing those things alone. Savor the moment and be happy with your own company. Because being alone is never a bad thing. Everything I've spoken about has an effect on your energy alignment, and personal power. We're allowing ourselves to clear out all the old energy that we no longer need and achieve what we want in our lives, which makes us healthier.