March 10, 2022

Ep.8-Triggered to Heal – Breaking the Cycle of Trauma (Part 2)

Ep.8-Triggered to Heal – Breaking the Cycle of Trauma (Part 2)
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Season 1

Have you ever struggled with being open and honest with your parents or partner?  

Can you imagine a life where you are free to share your thoughts and emotions without being judged? 

Interested to know how to supernova your career? 

Then this episode is for you! 

Welcome to Part 2 of the episode with Vanessa Broers. If you haven’t watched part 1 yet, I would highly recommend doing this first! 

  

About our guest

Vanessa is an author and Leadership and performance coach set on innovating leadership. 

Her new book, We Are One details this transformation in motherhood and how embracing challenges in motherhood creates more power and joy for women.

Vanessa embarked on more than a decade-long study of human behavior and performance. She has apprenticed with the highest masters of the craft and spent two years working closely with a shaman to understand, on a surgical level, how the complex emotional experiences of human beings unconsciously influence our behavior.

Vanessa has developed precise knowledge of the complex and nuanced way that human beings operate on a physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental level. She understands what gets in the way of optimal performance and how to keep her clients consistently moving forward with courage and playfulness. 

Social Media links:

https://www.facebook.com/vanessa.alberts.9

https://www.instagram.com/vanessabroerscoaching/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/vanessabroerscoaching/

Thanks for listening!

It means so much to us! If you would like to continue the conversation with us, head on over to Instagram or/and Facebook for more healing, stories, and magic.  

 

Subscribe to the podcast

This journey is impossible to do on your own, so make sure to like and subscribe so we can help more people like you!

 

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If you have someone in your life, who is struggling to overcome their trauma, this is something you can give them that truly can change the course of their life forever.

 

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Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a note in the comment section below!

Transcript
Anna Maydonova:

I know you, you're afraid to speak up.

Anna Maydonova:

You're scared of what other people think of you. And you

Anna Maydonova:

blame yourself for what happened to you. I know how it feels.

Anna Maydonova:

Because I've been there. If you found me, I'm so grateful you're

Anna Maydonova:

here. This podcast will give you hope. And I'm your host in

Anna Maydonova:

America Nova. And I'm going to hold your hand and provide the

Anna Maydonova:

guidance. It's time for you to find your why. And turn your

Anna Maydonova:

experience into your biggest power. This is your time now. So

Anna Maydonova:

lock your door, put your headphones in, and enjoy.

Anna Maydonova:

Welcome to the part two of the world's best Trauma Recovery

Anna Maydonova:

podcast with Vanessa broilers Manasseh welcome back.

Vanessa Broers:

Thank you. Oh, I felt like I don't even know like

Vanessa Broers:

a bubble bath last time or something. So it's nice to be

Vanessa Broers:

back.

Anna Maydonova:

Vanessa, what's happened for your in a week? We

Anna Maydonova:

haven't spoken since our last episode?

Vanessa Broers:

Well, quite a bit. It's really It blows my

Vanessa Broers:

mind that it's been a week. And I think it speaks to the power

Vanessa Broers:

of being in deep healing conversations, which ours

Vanessa Broers:

absolutely was for me last week. It opens a floodgate of healing

Vanessa Broers:

and possibility everywhere else in your life. So since we talked

Vanessa Broers:

last week, two really, really profoundly beautiful things have

Vanessa Broers:

happened. One is I had a really beautiful, deep conversation

Vanessa Broers:

with my husband, about our whole sexual history. Not just like,

Vanessa Broers:

who you slept with, and blah, blah, blah. But also what was it

Vanessa Broers:

like, what was sex like for you your whole life. And it was so

Vanessa Broers:

beautiful, because, you know, it just explained like our

Vanessa Broers:

relationship in so many ways, of course, because you bring your

Vanessa Broers:

past into your relationship. So that was amazing. Really,

Vanessa Broers:

really, we felt so connected after that. And we've been

Vanessa Broers:

married 10 years, we've never had that conversation. And then

Vanessa Broers:

I also had a really unexpected healing conversation with my

Vanessa Broers:

mom.

Anna Maydonova:

Wow. That's really, really amazing. I'm so

Anna Maydonova:

glad to hear that. What was the conversation? Yeah, about?

Vanessa Broers:

Well, you know, what surprised me so much about

Vanessa Broers:

our conversation last week, is that I was nervous to come on to

Vanessa Broers:

the podcast. Because there, there's like, you know, parts of

Vanessa Broers:

your story that you feel weird about telling. And I thought

Vanessa Broers:

that the story I was most afraid to tell was the story about my

Vanessa Broers:

mom. And that she was drinking and the wounding that came from

Vanessa Broers:

that because I have such a fierce desire to protect her. So

Vanessa Broers:

it really surprised me that the story I told was very much not

Vanessa Broers:

about that. It was it was about me and my life. And of course,

Vanessa Broers:

you know, a lot of the low self worth stemmed from that. But the

Vanessa Broers:

conversation with my mom was really healing because I shared

Vanessa Broers:

with her that I was still protecting her. And that it was

Vanessa Broers:

limiting my growth. It was limiting my healing. It was

Vanessa Broers:

limiting my career. And it was very, very, very much in the way

Vanessa Broers:

of my relationship to my mom. And she said to me, I had

Vanessa Broers:

started to think that maybe we weren't as close as I had always

Vanessa Broers:

thought we were. And I said, No, Mom, we are that close. And

Vanessa Broers:

there's this thing in the way. And she said, What do you do

Vanessa Broers:

whatever you need to do to forgive me. And your words

Vanessa Broers:

popped into my head. I didn't say this to her. But you said to

Vanessa Broers:

me, Mom, I need your help to forgive you. And I must have

Vanessa Broers:

just been like, those words are rooted, you know. And so I just

Vanessa Broers:

started to share with her that I just felt like I still couldn't

Vanessa Broers:

talk to her, I still couldn't bring stuff to her. I still

Vanessa Broers:

couldn't tell any parts of my story. I still couldn't share

Vanessa Broers:

any of those things. Because I was still protecting her from

Vanessa Broers:

the hurt, it would cause her for her to hear that. And she said,

Vanessa Broers:

You can't protect me. You can't protect me, you can't protect

Vanessa Broers:

me. She just was so she was there had been this fear that if

Vanessa Broers:

I go to my mom and going to be disappointed. I'm going to be

Vanessa Broers:

let down. I'm going to be disappointed. She's going to be

Vanessa Broers:

hurt and I'm going to end up taking care of her because that

Vanessa Broers:

was always what happened when I was a kid. I wasn't allowed to

Vanessa Broers:

say Mom, I'm really upset with you for drinking. I'm really

Vanessa Broers:

upset with the horrible things you said to me. I'm really like

Vanessa Broers:

devastated and full of rage and shame and sadness and anger and

Vanessa Broers:

I don't know what to do with it. Because I would have been let

Vanessa Broers:

down. She would have gotten into this like shame spiral and then

Vanessa Broers:

maybe she would have been drinking and you know This whole

Vanessa Broers:

fucked up dynamic. And so I've always been hesitant to go to

Vanessa Broers:

her. And instead, I was met with exactly the mom, I had always

Vanessa Broers:

been craving. She said, everything I wanted to hear, she

Vanessa Broers:

explained how I was feeling better than I could have

Vanessa Broers:

explained it. So it was clear to me that I knew she'd been doing

Vanessa Broers:

healing work. But she said everything I wanted to hear, and

Vanessa Broers:

I could not stop crying, I was just like, the floodgates open

Vanessa Broers:

because it was so healing to have this moment where I needed

Vanessa Broers:

my mom and she was there. And maybe I've cheated myself that

Vanessa Broers:

moment, 100,000 times in my life. I know, I couldn't have

Vanessa Broers:

had that moment as a kid. So my fear was valid. But my not

Vanessa Broers:

leaning into that conversation, how long my 36 I don't know, for

Vanessa Broers:

at least 10 years. And I don't know, maybe maybe I would have

Vanessa Broers:

been disappointed or if I caught her at a different time. But

Vanessa Broers:

whatever the point is, it was beautiful. I felt like it healed

Vanessa Broers:

something in me really deeply.

Anna Maydonova:

Thank you so much for for sharing. I'm so

Anna Maydonova:

proud of you. And I know not many people would be ready to

Anna Maydonova:

talk to their parents. And I had to do a lot of self development

Anna Maydonova:

and deep, deep healing, to even come to this point to even think

Anna Maydonova:

of telling my mom, what was happening. When Listen, why is

Anna Maydonova:

it so important to forgive our parents?

Vanessa Broers:

I think just like you and I both just shared

Vanessa Broers:

that we had to do so much healing, to be able to have

Vanessa Broers:

those conversations. Because until you forgive your parents,

Vanessa Broers:

you're still operating from the mindset of a child in your whole

Vanessa Broers:

world. I have been carrying around a belief that no one can

Vanessa Broers:

help me. No one can support me, no one can relate to me. If I'm

Vanessa Broers:

in my worst, most like devastated feeling or emotion,

Vanessa Broers:

I'm always in it by myself. Because I'm still believing this

Vanessa Broers:

dynamic of a young kid with alcoholic parents who has no one

Vanessa Broers:

to save them, you're still operating in the world that way.

Vanessa Broers:

And so when you have these conversations, even if you're

Vanessa Broers:

even if you're proven right, even if I'd gone to my mom, and

Vanessa Broers:

she had been, you know, angry and upset, or you know, even if

Vanessa Broers:

the trauma, in other words is still happening, you at least

Vanessa Broers:

developed a new relationship to yourself a new way of being in

Vanessa Broers:

the world. And I'm really, really starting to understand,

Vanessa Broers:

and that trauma is a thing that happened to you. But your lack

Vanessa Broers:

of forgiveness is what keeps re traumatizing you. And that's an

Vanessa Broers:

edgy thing to say, because I know how pissed off I would have

Vanessa Broers:

been to hear that at one point. But that's why until we forgive

Vanessa Broers:

our parents, because here's the one side is I forgive my

Vanessa Broers:

parents. The other side is an acknowledgment that it was your

Vanessa Broers:

parents or your caregivers. It wasn't you, it wasn't the world.

Vanessa Broers:

And until you can forgive, they're still a part of you that

Vanessa Broers:

is believing that you were to blame somehow, or that the world

Vanessa Broers:

is to blame somehow. So forgiving your parents who were

Vanessa Broers:

the ones who kind of dropped the ball for all the innocent

Vanessa Broers:

reasons that they did. So the forgiveness is so powerful and

Vanessa Broers:

so important, because you're basically finally seeing and

Vanessa Broers:

realizing it was never your fault. And that is what sets you

Vanessa Broers:

free for the rest of your life.

Anna Maydonova:

I love with Vanessa and it's not about being

Anna Maydonova:

okay, what was happening to you in the past. It just it's about

Anna Maydonova:

setting yourself free from this pain from this feeling of guilt

Anna Maydonova:

and shame. And I'm so so glad for you. You've done this

Vanessa Broers:

thing. I'm happy for me to

Anna Maydonova:

how good it feels, isn't it? Yeah,

Vanessa Broers:

it's really beautiful. And it is it is

Vanessa Broers:

something that you do layer by layer by layer by layer by

Vanessa Broers:

layer. It's probably not the last one. And that's okay. We're

Vanessa Broers:

infinite beings. We have infinite layers. But every time

Vanessa Broers:

you sort of release something, it just gets easier. Even the

Vanessa Broers:

healing gets easier.

Anna Maydonova:

Oh, yes. Yes. It's just it just the scariest

Anna Maydonova:

part is to start.

Vanessa Broers:

That's right with you. Yeah.

Anna Maydonova:

Vanessa and how much do you think your daughter

Anna Maydonova:

will benefit from all the healing you're going through?

Vanessa Broers:

Ah, I mean, it's just it's unbelievable. There's

Vanessa Broers:

a A Native American teaching that says seven generations

Vanessa Broers:

before and seven generations after. That's the life, the

Vanessa Broers:

lifespan of trauma, 14 generations. Whoa, I don't know

Vanessa Broers:

how many years that is. So maybe a listener could let us know, I

Vanessa Broers:

don't know how you quantify that. But basically, what

Vanessa Broers:

they're saying is, an act of trauma takes 14 generations to

Vanessa Broers:

heal, because of the unconscious ways that we pass them down to

Vanessa Broers:

our children. And every parent just does a little better than

Vanessa Broers:

their parents did, right. So let's imagine I didn't know

Vanessa Broers:

healing work in my life, I still wouldn't have been an alcoholic,

Vanessa Broers:

but I would have been a workaholic. And I would have

Vanessa Broers:

been filled with anxiety. And I would have been a resentful

Vanessa Broers:

mother because I'd be over giving. And I'd be carrying all

Vanessa Broers:

of these ways of being and projecting them onto my

Vanessa Broers:

daughter. And so she would have grown up with a successful mom,

Vanessa Broers:

who is really strong, it's I perceive my mom as like, weak in

Vanessa Broers:

the past. So she would have a strong mom who was still pretty

Vanessa Broers:

terrible to her, she would have grown up with self

Vanessa Broers:

consciousness, but she might not have been a workaholic. So you

Vanessa Broers:

know what I mean, we pass it along in that way. And on

Vanessa Broers:

without the without the injection of healing. It just

Vanessa Broers:

gets a little percentage better every generation until seven

Vanessa Broers:

generations after and seven generations before. And so I am

Vanessa Broers:

committed to completely ending, completely ending, like the

Vanessa Broers:

cycle, the cycle of trauma, and my family. And when you're

Vanessa Broers:

willing to go to these depths, when you're willing to be

Vanessa Broers:

relentless in your own healing. You, you set your daughter free,

Vanessa Broers:

you set your kids free, I can give you a little example of

Vanessa Broers:

what shifted in our life, says, Please, and um, it's not easy,

Vanessa Broers:

right? It's not like, oh, wow, that is so beautiful. And it's

Vanessa Broers:

really hard. So let me give you an example. One of the other

Vanessa Broers:

things that happened, since we last spoke is I had a session

Vanessa Broers:

with my Shaman. And we did a healing as well, which cleared

Vanessa Broers:

up a lot of stuff with my mom. But the other thing that it

Vanessa Broers:

cleared up is this idea that I didn't have an understanding of

Vanessa Broers:

limit on how much was appropriate to give. So I was

Vanessa Broers:

over giving everywhere in my life to the point I joked about

Vanessa Broers:

this, I think in the last one that I'm running around, trying

Vanessa Broers:

to save everybody, right? And so I give, give, give to depletion

Vanessa Broers:

everywhere. And you wouldn't necessarily think that if you

Vanessa Broers:

looked at my life, because I make great money, I don't work a

Vanessa Broers:

ton of hours, but I always find somewhere to over give. And so

Vanessa Broers:

one of the things that the healing things that we did with

Vanessa Broers:

Patrick was he, he helped me he cleared this block in my

Vanessa Broers:

identity that was giving should have no limits. And so instead,

Vanessa Broers:

we created this new belief in my in my heart that it's healthy to

Vanessa Broers:

have limits. And so we did this really deep healing. I had this

Vanessa Broers:

big emotional release, I cried like the whole way to pick my

Vanessa Broers:

daughter up from school one day, just like letting all this

Vanessa Broers:

emotion out. You think I'm crazy? If you follow me around

Vanessa Broers:

in my life, I'm really happy. I'm really productive. But I cry

Vanessa Broers:

a lot.

Anna Maydonova:

Cries our second love was right. Nope. Was it?

Vanessa Broers:

Anyway, the last couple days, I have been so

Vanessa Broers:

resentful, angry and annoyed at everybody in my life. Everybody.

Vanessa Broers:

I would like the if I could just voice the anger, it would be

Vanessa Broers:

like nobody need me. Don't think about me. Don't look at me.

Vanessa Broers:

Don't ask me for anything. Get away. Like that's how I was

Vanessa Broers:

feeling. Especially with my daughter. which really surprised

Vanessa Broers:

me because pepper is always the one that no matter how crappy I

Vanessa Broers:

feel, she always kind of sneaks under the radar. But in

Vanessa Broers:

particular, I've been so annoyed with her. And I've really had to

Vanessa Broers:

catch myself from snapping at her. And, you know, she's super,

Vanessa Broers:

super sensitive to energy shifts. So for example, this

Vanessa Broers:

morning, she threw a bunch of her toys on the floor and then

Vanessa Broers:

asked me for a lollipop. And I said, I was really annoyed. I

Vanessa Broers:

wanted to yell at her. I was like, wow, that's really

Vanessa Broers:

fascinating what is going on? And then last night, we got home

Vanessa Broers:

from a whole day and she was losing her mind. I don't know

Vanessa Broers:

what was going on. But she wanted to sleep with me and I

Vanessa Broers:

was like, Oh my gosh, she sleeps in the I'm gonna have to kill

Vanessa Broers:

her like I need a break. Anyway, she slept with us. She came out

Vanessa Broers:

to sit on my lap and snuggle on my chest in the morning, which

Vanessa Broers:

she always does. And instead of like melting into her I was

Vanessa Broers:

literally like laying there like stiff as a board. Like can

Vanessa Broers:

someone peel this baby off me? You know, I just was like, get

Vanessa Broers:

her away from me. And I felt really bad about this. But what

Vanessa Broers:

occurred to me is that she's operating from my old paradigm

Vanessa Broers:

no limits. I get as much mom as I can Once I get as much candy

Vanessa Broers:

as I want, I can throw my stuff on the floor, Mom's gonna pick

Vanessa Broers:

it up and still give me what I want. And when I started to get

Vanessa Broers:

annoyed and push back on that she got pissed. Because she is

Vanessa Broers:

operating from the paradigm I created an overnight. So

Vanessa Broers:

sometimes deep healing can be messy, basically, overnight that

Vanessa Broers:

shifted for me. And I was like, No, I need limits. You can't

Vanessa Broers:

have everything for me, I need stuff to who's giving to me.

Vanessa Broers:

Where is somebody walking in and making me coffee, where's

Vanessa Broers:

somebody walking in and putting me on their lap. And I was it

Vanessa Broers:

just was an overnight switch. And so all of a sudden, my world

Vanessa Broers:

right now feels really annoying. But I created that world from

Vanessa Broers:

not having limits. So now I'm in this process where I've got to

Vanessa Broers:

hang with that tension, and re educate everybody in my life.

Vanessa Broers:

And that takes time. And that's really hard. And I cannot

Vanessa Broers:

remember what question you asked that had me tell that story.

Anna Maydonova:

The question was about benefits of your daughter,

Anna Maydonova:

oh, you're doing this healing process.

Vanessa Broers:

Let me anchor that story down for you then. So

Vanessa Broers:

one of the things that not having limits on pepper has

Vanessa Broers:

created is that anxiety. She's not an anxious kid by any means.

Vanessa Broers:

But she's got a hard time being by herself. She doesn't, you

Vanessa Broers:

know, if she, let's say she wants help with something, she

Vanessa Broers:

instantly goes like, yeah, hope, you know, and so she's not as

Vanessa Broers:

secure as I want her to be. She's not as self reliant as I

Vanessa Broers:

want her to be. And that's from my over giving. And so now that

Vanessa Broers:

that's shifting, we're creating just even as of this morning, a

Vanessa Broers:

slightly new dynamic. Where Mom, can I have a lollipop? Yeah,

Vanessa Broers:

after you pick up those toys, you pick them up. Whoa, two year

Vanessa Broers:

old says, and I said, no pepper, you'll pick them up. Whenever

Vanessa Broers:

you're ready. I don't need them to be right now. But whenever

Vanessa Broers:

you're whenever you really want your lollipop, you pick up your

Vanessa Broers:

toys, and I'll get it for you. And then she'll do it. She'll

Vanessa Broers:

Wait a minute, but she'll do it. And then I say thank you so

Vanessa Broers:

much, I really appreciate that. And all of a sudden, we're

Vanessa Broers:

slightly shifting this dynamic where she's a little bit more

Vanessa Broers:

secure she has because her not having limits as a kid that's

Vanessa Broers:

going to translate later to not having discipline or having too

Vanessa Broers:

much anxiety or not feeling safe, the same shit that I felt

Vanessa Broers:

as a kid coming from overcompensating as an adult.

Anna Maydonova:

And you know, what, it's gonna help you to

Anna Maydonova:

learn how to set the boundaries for yourself, in your adult

Anna Maydonova:

adulthood. 100%. And it comes, it comes from, from the parents,

Anna Maydonova:

you know, there is a saying, I stop educating your kids start

Anna Maydonova:

educating yourself, your kids will be exactly like you anyway.

Anna Maydonova:

You can't you can't tell them what to do. If you are not doing

Anna Maydonova:

this, that's

Vanessa Broers:

absolutely right. She's very likely to over

Vanessa Broers:

give by being over given to or under work, right. That's the

Vanessa Broers:

other flip side of that, too. We're always accidentally

Vanessa Broers:

creating the same thing in the opposite form of our trauma.

Vanessa Broers:

When we don't heal, so her benefit will likely be based on

Vanessa Broers:

my trajectory. She'll have limits, she'll set boundaries,

Vanessa Broers:

she'll be more self reliant, more self sufficient, and she's

Vanessa Broers:

about to watch mom dive headfirst into a shitload of

Vanessa Broers:

self care. So hopefully, she'll also know how to take care of

Vanessa Broers:

yourself.

Anna Maydonova:

Love it, love it. When I said, you had a lot

Anna Maydonova:

of things happened in this week. What? What's one unexpected

Anna Maydonova:

benefit happened from all this conversations for you?

Vanessa Broers:

I raised my coaching fee by 500%. Oh,

Anna Maydonova:

I'm so proud of you.

Vanessa Broers:

Everything in our life is a function of self

Vanessa Broers:

worth. You know, everything. And so shifting that it just all

Vanessa Broers:

those changes, again, all those changes that are so hard to

Vanessa Broers:

make, you just make them. And I've really got to see a really

Vanessa Broers:

beautiful dynamic playing out in my life. So one of the patterns

Vanessa Broers:

that I had noticed in myself, especially in work and in

Vanessa Broers:

relationship would be that I would be all in creating a bunch

Vanessa Broers:

of stuff engaged with a lot of people and then I would just

Vanessa Broers:

disappear. I can't deal with it. Don't talk to me, leave me

Vanessa Broers:

alone, sometimes to the detriment of personal and

Vanessa Broers:

professional relationships, because you can't just flake out

Vanessa Broers:

all the time. And so what I saw were the unexpected benefits

Vanessa Broers:

from this week is that I saw really kind of exactly how that

Vanessa Broers:

all came together. One of it was I didn't have an impact Share

Vanessa Broers:

this with me, my shaman, I actually was only using about

Vanessa Broers:

half of my heart capacity, because half of it was

Vanessa Broers:

monopolized by still trying to take responsibility and protect

Vanessa Broers:

everybody in my life. So when he cleared that it opened up all

Vanessa Broers:

this space for me. And then I saw that there was one of this

Vanessa Broers:

in my year of friendship, and we moved to Colorado about a year

Vanessa Broers:

ago, and I've made zero friends, I have one. I've one girlfriend

Vanessa Broers:

who actually I really do love, but we never see each other

Vanessa Broers:

because I don't have the time or the space or the energy or the

Vanessa Broers:

capacity. So I saw this dynamic playing out. And I haven't said

Vanessa Broers:

this out loud yet. So forgive me if it's a little bit messy, but

Vanessa Broers:

I think it will be useful. Where there's it seemed like I had all

Vanessa Broers:

these disconnected pieces. A I was exhausted. Be, I have this

Vanessa Broers:

new project at work that was feeling really overwhelming. And

Vanessa Broers:

I was feeling like I can't take this on, it's going to be too

Vanessa Broers:

big. I'm filming Season Two of my podcast, which was, it's

Vanessa Broers:

amazing. But it's like draining me because it's so intense. I

Vanessa Broers:

have this feeling of like, dissatisfaction with my

Vanessa Broers:

friendships. And so I had all these pieces that look

Vanessa Broers:

disconnected. But then from this healing this week, I saw they're

Vanessa Broers:

actually all connected, they all come from having too little

Vanessa Broers:

weight, let's say well back up, it was coming from low self

Vanessa Broers:

worth, which was having me not take enough care of myself,

Vanessa Broers:

which was having me over give everywhere to depletion, which

Vanessa Broers:

was having me not be able to have the capacity to show up

Vanessa Broers:

fully and work to be overwhelmed by my daughter, because I'm

Vanessa Broers:

still over giving there. And then where do friends go?

Vanessa Broers:

There's no room, there's no capacity. And so I started to

Vanessa Broers:

feel really frustrated. Okay, well, I guess I need to go, I'll

Vanessa Broers:

go get a massage. And I thought, well, I don't want to go by

Vanessa Broers:

myself, I do everything by myself. And then I'm I need

Vanessa Broers:

friends, I don't have the energy to make friends. You know. So I

Vanessa Broers:

went into this kind of head spiral. And then I finally

Vanessa Broers:

thought okay, it may I get it. And I'll make sense. When I stop

Vanessa Broers:

over giving, I'll have more energy. When I start taking care

Vanessa Broers:

of myself by getting a massage, I'll have more capacity. In that

Vanessa Broers:

capacity, I'll have space for friends, when I have space for

Vanessa Broers:

friends, my life will feel more full and I can show up to my

Vanessa Broers:

business in a really powerful way. And if I just don't break

Vanessa Broers:

that cycle anywhere, the cup just keeps filling in the world

Vanessa Broers:

keeps expanding. So it was a really beautiful benefit to see

Vanessa Broers:

how what seemed like all these disconnected pieces in my life

Vanessa Broers:

actually all came down to having boundaries for myself, having

Vanessa Broers:

healing conversations I was avoiding with my mom and

Vanessa Broers:

actually allowing myself to take care of myself.

Anna Maydonova:

Which is really simple. Even though it doesn't

Anna Maydonova:

look like super

Vanessa Broers:

simple doesn't mean easy.

Anna Maydonova:

Wow, man. That's a lot of things happening for

Anna Maydonova:

you. And I'm so excited for the future. Because you've done all

Anna Maydonova:

this work. And now you can help people to do exactly the same.

Anna Maydonova:

And if you change if you say one thing to your client, that will

Anna Maydonova:

change all your or his life. Imagine being able to set set

Anna Maydonova:

the boundaries, healthy boundaries, being able to make

Anna Maydonova:

friends being able to care for herself or himself. What what

Anna Maydonova:

dollar value would you put in this? It's like the whole life

Anna Maydonova:

shifting.

Vanessa Broers:

Yeah. I think that's why I love your show. I

Vanessa Broers:

love the work you're doing You've inspired me so much in

Vanessa Broers:

sharing my stories and really I adore you. It's really profound

Vanessa Broers:

to see how quickly your outside life can change. And I hope that

Vanessa Broers:

the people who are listening to part one and part two can see

Vanessa Broers:

like all that happened in a week. And now granted I will

Vanessa Broers:

offer I'm 10 years deep in this healing journey so the deeper

Vanessa Broers:

you are in the journey the faster the outside stuff

Vanessa Broers:

changes. But beginning this work the depth of healing always

Vanessa Broers:

results in external changes happening really quickly. When

Vanessa Broers:

we stopped working so hard against all this trauma energy

Vanessa Broers:

inside. Life can happen very quickly and magically on the

Vanessa Broers:

outside.

Anna Maydonova:

I mean, I mean Vanessa Vanessa, where people

Anna Maydonova:

can find you.

Vanessa Broers:

A couple places you can find me on my my book is

Vanessa Broers:

called We Are One how one woman reclaimed her identity through

Vanessa Broers:

motherhood which really, very, very detailed follows my first

Vanessa Broers:

year of motherhood in the deep healing that it catalyzed for me

Vanessa Broers:

so you can really get a sense for what this work looks like.

Vanessa Broers:

You can find me on my website, Vanessa brewers coaching.com.

Vanessa Broers:

And on there, you can access season one of my podcast, the

Vanessa Broers:

Practical Magic Show, Season Two will be launched sometime in

Vanessa Broers:

probably late spring. And you can also reach out to me just

Vanessa Broers:

through my website, you can contact me and you can join my

Vanessa Broers:

group thrive, which is where high performance meets spiritual

Vanessa Broers:

evolution, deep healing and high productivity. So it's a it's a

Vanessa Broers:

beautiful and that you can join at any point at any time.

Anna Maydonova:

I would highly, highly recommend people to check

Anna Maydonova:

Vanessa's website and her book. It's something amazing. It's

Anna Maydonova:

wonderful to read. And you're such a pioneer. In, in, in this

Anna Maydonova:

field, like, hey, Mother motherhood is not something I

Anna Maydonova:

was looking for. And so many people, so many women would

Anna Maydonova:

struggle with that. But they just wouldn't admit it. So thank

Anna Maydonova:

you so much for starting this. Thank you. That is one

Vanessa Broers:

of the best compliments I've ever received

Vanessa Broers:

in my life to be called a pioneer. So thank you. I would

Vanessa Broers:

like just soaking that up.

Anna Maydonova:

Vanessa, before we go, do you have any

Anna Maydonova:

concluding thoughts?

Vanessa Broers:

Yeah, especially for the people that I know will

Vanessa Broers:

be listening to your show. There's an idea that I came up

Vanessa Broers:

with, which is the idea of chasing the wrong edge. It's

Vanessa Broers:

really addicting and easy to chase the edge of success in

Vanessa Broers:

money, and being driven and ambitious, as a way of avoiding

Vanessa Broers:

the edge of healing and joy, an intimacy and connection and

Vanessa Broers:

friendship. And I'm not saying one is right and one is wrong.

Vanessa Broers:

I'm just saying that one won't give you the other. So I would I

Vanessa Broers:

would offer to just notice what edge am I chasing? And what edge

Vanessa Broers:

Am I avoiding? Because when you start to do both, that's where

Vanessa Broers:

life gets pretty spectacular.

Anna Maydonova:

Amazing. Thank you, Vanessa, ladies and

Anna Maydonova:

gentlemen, and others. Thank you for being here. I know it's not

Anna Maydonova:

easy. But there is a part of you who is ready to take this

Anna Maydonova:

journey all the way. And I can help. Reach out to me directly

Anna Maydonova:

at ena at nma the nava.com to get to work. You can also

Anna Maydonova:

connect with me on Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, for more

Anna Maydonova:

healing stories and magic. This journey is impossible to do on

Anna Maydonova:

your own. So make sure to like, subscribe, and review the

Anna Maydonova:

podcast so we can help more people like you. If you have

Anna Maydonova:

someone in your life who is struggling to overcome their

Anna Maydonova:

trauma, this is something you can give them that truly can

Anna Maydonova:

change the course of their life forever. We'll see you next time

Anna Maydonova:

for another episode of the world's best Trauma Recovery

Anna Maydonova:

podcast. And just remember, you are able to help yourself and