Ep.1-Turning My Childhood Trauma Into My Superpower

I know you, you're afraid to speak up. You're scared of what other people think of you. And you blame yourself for what happened to you. I know how it feels. Because I've been there. If you found me, I'm so grateful you're here. This podcast will give you hope. And I'm your host in America Nova. And I'm going to hold your hand and provide the guidance. It's time for you to find your why. And turn your experience into your biggest power. This is your time now. So lock your door, put your headphones in, and enjoy.

How many people do you know whose life has been badly affected by trauma of any kind? Did verbal, emotional, spiritual or worse abuse negatively affect someone you care about? The you know people who struggled with shame, pain and fear. I though it was me. It took my power away. It limited my potential and nearly destroyed my life. The fantastic news is it doesn't have to be this way. Our traumas can now be used for good, a lot of good. In fact, it's a powerful source of inspiration for self development, self love, self care, and healing. How the world's best the trauma recovery podcast provides clear explanations, effective strategies and practical tools to help you to confront your darkest moments to neutralize the past traumas and discharge their negative impact on your life. So, do you want to leave authentically? Do you want to connect deeply in your relationships? Do you want to succeed with fulfillment? Find your voice, unlock your unlimited financial potential and create miracles in your life that you've come to the right place. Hi, this is Anna Marie Nava. And now I'm the world's best life optimization coach. And I'm so excited to launch my first world's best Trauma Recovery podcast. When I was four years of age, my biological father left and never returned. My brother was nine months old. And my mom was now a 24 years old, single mother of two during a Russian economic depression. I had to be strong and support my mom. So for six years I remind tough for her. It made me think I could handle anything, and I felt good about it. But I was wrong. After six years, a new man arrived in our family. My stepfather, a knight in shining armor that provided for his family and seemed to be exactly the kind of person our broken family needed. First time I realized that he wasn't meant to protect us. When my six years old brother, it's something wrong. In my stepfather's opinion. My stepfather took his army leather belt, dragged my brother to another bedroom and locked the door behind him. I could hear my little brother yelling, screaming and begging for help. Mommy, Mommy, please help. My mom couldn't stop him. She was too afraid of him at this point. I remember I was in complete shock, trying to encourage my mom to stop my stepfather trying to help my brother. But she grabbed me so strong, and she covered my ears with your hands so I can't hear it until my stepfather was done. Since then, we will beat him for everything for being five minutes late for low marks in the school for not cleaning the house perfectly enough or laughing too loud. Our cry would make him even more wild. So we learned not to make any sounds while we were punished. And when I turned 15 That's when the sexual stuff started. He threatened to destroy my mom, my brother and our family if I want to be

knowing how violent and manipulative he was combined with his previous behaviors that show that he can do a lot of harm to us. I believe him. He really instilled a fear in me that my mom will believe him and not me, and that she will hate me And I will be expelled from the family. I couldn't even imagine to be a part of my mom in those time. The only person I told about the abuse was my school friend. When it first happened. She was as scared as I was. And no one else ever knew our terrible secrets. my stepfather's abuse resulted in two pregnancies in 15 and 16 years of age. I was underage and I was terrified to watch the abortions damaged my reproductive system, resulting in 15 consecutive miscarriages, including two ectopic pregnancies, and one year look like my life in 2019. For 18 years, the shame, guilt, fear and pain stay trapped deep within my being crippling any ability to move forward with my life. From the outside, I looked like I had it all together. But inside, I was a mess. If I make a mistake, I felt terrifying. I would rather die. I was a control freak. I was trying to control everything in my world. Often, I would have morning anxiety if I forget to reply to an email or miss something urgent. I was seeking validation from people. I was working nine or 10 hours a day trying to prove myself or I was so afraid of letting people down. If I won't complete the task in time, I was taking too much on my plate, sacrificing my personal life to finish all the tasks. It was hard to say no for me. I was procrastinating I had lack of motivation. I had loads of energy to do the things that were really important for me. I had a fear of asking for help to appear weak. spending lots of time trying to figure things out on my own, or doing everything myself. I had really high expectations toward myself and others. I was relying on others to tell me what to do instead of trusting myself. I loved my job. I really did. But I wasn't feeling fulfilled. I also wasn't allowing myself to have fun. I had a fear of speaking up. I couldn't share my ideas and meetings. I had a fear of asking for promotion. I was a people pleaser. I was also ignoring the feelings and the body signs of tiredness and sickness. And I pushed through. I was martyring myself. I was obsessed with self development. But I didn't have a courage to take massive actions. I was doing things that people expect from me to do rather than do things that that ally doing. That was exhausting. I was burned out. As an adult woman, I developed relationships with men that mirrored many of attributes of my stepfather further prolonging my pain long after his abuse has stopped. At some point, I got sick of running. And I decided to face my fear. And then something wonderful happened. Something you might not expect. Like an American writer on ice noon said, and that they came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. And in 2021, I told my mom about what happened. She responded beautifully. And then I forgive a man that did this to me. I forgive my mom for not being able to protect me. I forgive my birth father for not being there when I needed him most. But most importantly, I forgive myself. I took my power back, I decided to use this experience is my new superpower. To share this story with people that needed to hear it and to be okay with their own experiences. And you can do too.

It took me many years to tell my story. It was not easy for me to open up after so many years of silence. So you're probably asking why telling it now. After eight years of trying to have a baby, all my blood test examinations revealed that my body was perfectly fine. I wanted to understand if the healing of my childhood trauma would help me to make my most cherished dreams become true. I also saw the impact of sharing my story on others. I realized that this story was no longer about me, but others and it can help by providing hope. Now what people think of me is none of my business. If you want to live the life you've never had before, you need to do the things you haven't done before. You can find more about me and my journey on animator nava.com on Facebook or Instagram, or reach out to me directly. Remember, if I could do it, you can do it too.