EP72: Breaking The Paradigm Of Introversion – How To Come Out Of Your Shell And Soar with Lorraine Ellen

This is winning with wellness, a podcast about inspiring the wellness warrior in you. If you are feeling lost or alone in your wellness journey, or are looking for new ideas and inspiration, you are in the right place, a place you can learn about all things wellness in business life and living your host Jenny rice, we'll be bringing you inspiring stories and practical tools to improve your overall wellness personally and professionally. Imagine what living a life of wellness would be like thank you for joining us today

Hi, everyone, welcome to another episode of winning with wellness. I am so excited to have Lorraine here with me today. Lorraine Welcome to the show.

Hey Jenny, thanks for having me.

I'm so excited to dig in and share about you know your your passion and why you do the work that you do and I just want to share a little bit of background so people have some some understanding of how you got to what you're doing and why you know why you feel so excited to share your story today. So everyone Lorraine is well it's Lorraine do you say when you introduce yourself do you see Lorraine Ellen or is it just Lorraine?

Okay little story before we get started exactly my middle name or it's my middle name but when I got divorced it's my legal name is still last name is Scott but I on social media and that I dropped that and I just leave it as Lorraine Ellen. So

okay, great. So you guys, this is Lorraine Ellen or Lorraine Ellen Scott depends on how you know her. She is a Reiki Master Teacher, intuitive healer and inspirational mentor who helps introverted entrepreneurs, coaches and healers step into their power to thrive in business. With over 20 years of experience with vibrational energy healing Lorraine developed her signature it's calm so capital a capital A story capital c capital a capital L capital M. So calm process that helps people live life on their terms for growth and sustainable success. She enjoys bringing fun into her work by incorporating card readings for clarity and inspiration to help others see things from a fresh, honestly, fresh perspective. The tongue tightness I'm like Lorraine's mission is helping introverts expand their comfort zone. So they are confidently seen as master foals in their field. So Lorraine, let's really dig in because obviously you work a lot with professionals. However, we all know that as a professional art, we take our personal selves back to home and back to you know, cocktail parties or entertaining. So for those of us that are listening, that are introverted, anything that you know, is shared today obviously transcends across, you know, other parts of your of your being so, but today I get, we're going to focus more in on your passion that's helping business owners because I trust me, there are many of us out there that are in some type of employment, whether we are the solopreneur entrepreneur, or maybe the employee that are introverted and struggle on a daily basis. What do you what led you to this work? What brought you to this place?

Well, I am an introvert. So there's that there's a start. I actually work a lot with healers, and coaches, because my background is teaching Reiki. And I know that a lot of Reiki practitioners want to get more well known out there. And yet, they have that flavor of empathic and often introverted energy to them. So I just went back to my journey, and how I know if I knew then you probably get this light. If I knew then what I know. Now, I would have definitely done things a lot differently. I would have honored who I was instead of judging and beating myself up for it. That inspires me to get out there and, and reach introverts and we can't shut it off. We are who we are, whether we're at home, whether we're at work, whether we're socializing, it's part of who we are. And I like to say it's not a personality trait. It's how we manage our energy that identifies that that signifies that we are introverted, so it's not a detriment, and I'm really adamant about sharing that with the world to change the perspective of what it means to to have introversion.

I love that you kind of dial into that because you know, there's gonna be people listening right now that a might have a misconception or might not even know what introverted meets as a person. So somebody that that is introverted, what would be the best way that you could explain to somebody that maybe doesn't understand or hasn't experienced or knows the concept? What does that mean for an individual that's introverted?

Well, the first thing it doesn't mean is it doesn't necessarily mean you were shy, or quiet. And often, friends and family would say to someone who's introverted, that doesn't have those particular qualities is I didn't know you were introverted. Because you're so I'm going and you're, you know, you're so talkative, and you're so helpful, you have so much energy. So really, that's one thing that that society thinks of us as introverts is that we're quiet and shy, and yes, that can be part of it. But anybody can be quiet and shy, that can have to do with how you're brought up. It can do with a lot of things that have happened in your past. But to me, introversion is about, we need to charge our energy differently than extroverts. Extroverts get a lot of energy from just being around other people and being active and talkative. And things like social socializing. We're introverts, we need to recharge, where it's quiet, where we're doing something that doesn't require us to use all of our faculties. So that makes a big difference in how we show up in the world. And we can definitely show up in a big way, when we've had that time to properly manage our energy.

That's a beautiful explanation. And for many, I can guarantee the oh, that person's introverted because they're quiet and shy is is a common phrase or calm, you know, a common theme or miss misrepresentation. So thank you for shedding your experience in and your light on bringing some new clarity and understanding. And I will, I really am fascinated on there's times in my life and that I feel that I'm introverted, even though I'm an extrovert, if that makes sense. Oh, yeah,

actually, I've been talking with a friend of mine recently. And she used to identify as being extroverted. And then, with all of the shutdown this last couple of years, she realizes that there's some introverted energy within her, I really believe that we're neither one nor the other, I think it's a cycle of energy. It can do to the moon phases, it could have to do with seasonal, it often has to do with our experience throughout our lifetime, where something might have happened when we were young, that causes you know, at a specific time of the year that causes us to really go inward at that specific time of the year, years and decades later. So it's, it's quite interesting, really, I mean, and that's just the energy side of things, I didn't even really delve into how we think we process by thinking a lot more. So that's where that can, that perception of being quiet comes into things because we're processing, we're not continually talking, were silently processing until we come up with the words we want to use, or the concept we want to get across. And then we speak. So often we get talked over, like, if at work, you know, back when I used to work in corporate and that, you know, people would be throwing ideas out there in the boardroom kind of thing. And, you know, me just trying to get my concept around. What was the question? How am I? Any, you know, you almost get overlooked because you may be may appear quiet. So there's just so much that can be involved in how we show up as ourselves and feel okay with it, too. I mean, I used to get frustrated with myself thinking there was something wrong with me, because I couldn't keep up with everyone else. Right, but it wasn't that I needed to keep up with them. I just need to honor how I processed things. So it makes a big difference in how we see ourselves and how we honor who we are. And, and that's a big part of why I like to talk with people about that and share that. Don't change yourself. Just change your perception of who You are,

you know, and I just I love that you highlight that point about, it's perceived that you don't have something to contribute, or you, you know, you get glazed over. Because when you're in a room, especially in a work environment, people want to be seen. So if they're firing really fast, and you're taking that moment to process, but we, you know, as we evolve as people, I'm in a place where I'm very aware now that silence creates answers for me, and some, some that are listening maybe in that place, or might be finding that place. And there's something powerful. So for any of you leaders out there, or team leads, or you know, even in your own home with family, friends, if you've got somebody in the room that isn't being heard, give them space to be heard, I think that's such an important point to bring up. They have something valuable to say, they're just sharing it at a different pace or at a different time, because they want to be very clear on their delivery. So thank you for highlighting that I think it's so important that we remember to bring everybody into the conversation no matter what the conversation is, or where it's at, you know,

yeah, and you make you make a good point because it introverts, we know who we are, it's the that the non introverts, you know, the extroverts and stuff that don't realize that we do think differently, and we're quieter. So the more that people are aware of that, that there's so many different ways that people learn and process that we honor all of that. And we give those people who are more introverted, a little bit of time and space to speak up at that meeting. Table, for example. Yeah,

I love that. And don't forget the dinner table, right people you know, the kid that's saying nothing might have said

yes, exactly.

So let's, let's stop tapping into a little bit because obviously, you're passionate about energy work your Reiki your you know, that's, that's telling me, you tell me you've created this calm process? Would you mind sharing what that looks like for people that if they're curious and want to step in?

Yes, it I love acronyms you got to know about, I just love them. That and when when things make so much sense, and you turn them into an acronym, you just never forget them. So calm, really, I mean, the word itself kind of speaks for itself, it needs no introduction. But the process of calm creates that clear or a loving mind. And when you do that, you're creating that you're clearing the pathway, you're acknowledging the steps that you take, you're learning new habits, and you're managing your energy. And then from there, you can strive for more. So, again, just incorporating all of that into everything you do, everything is energy is you know, and to find a way to honor where you are, to clear what needs to go and then to focus on where you can put your energy makes a big difference for everyone. You don't even need to be introverted. You know, it's, it's just a great way to be aware of who you are, where you are, and where you want to go. And it's a great process.

I love that. So being somebody that actually has introverts in my family. And this is maybe a selfish question, because I'm really curious if I can learn some new nuggets as somebody that doesn't personally experience it all the time. Like I said, I dabble in there everyone smile. I didn't move by myself in the introvert phase, depending on what's happening in work and personal life. Is there any tools or ideas you would share with people to support someone that's introverted in their family?

Well, my favorite point of view is that we can take our comfort zone with us. Everyone's always telling us to get out of our comfort zone, but they don't realize that the moment introverts step out of their door, lock the door and walk down the street. We're already 90% out of our comfort zone. So to be able to take that with us, and what does that look like? It could be being around people you're really comfortable with. You know, this is why a lot of people who have friends that are introverts never realize they're introverts because they're feel comfortable being around them. It could be a little more whoo like, carrying some crystals with you. I love crystals all types don't ask me my favorite depends on the day. Having something like that something it's like a touchstone right? You can you can rub it at the Crystal shops, they call them worry stones. But I'm an inspirational mentor, I like to flip the script. So I call them pieced stones, because that's what we want to get from them. Having something like a necklace, you know, you see people fiddle with things that's there, they don't realize it. But they're tuning into that comfort zone that allows them to feel like they're, they have that. That wrapping of familiarity around them that that allows them to be more present in their body and therefore more confident in who they are and where they are. So that's something I hope that answered your question.

Actually, not only did it and it's that's a great resource of information for not only somebody who's supporting an introvert, but for an introvert themselves, you know, you can create your own container and carry it with you. I love that. And actually, I'm, I'm looking here at my little, my, I've got a rose quartz heart. And when I'm feeling like I need to, like anchor in I love this, because of course Rose Quartz is all about love and connections. So

I love this quartz is perfect. Right? And of

course, this is from my stepmom. And it's the shape of our hearts. So

Okay, nice.

So when we think about the work that you do, and this is what I find fascinating, would you mind sharing with people because when people think of energy work, you know, we've transitioned people are becoming more comfortable working remotely, I'm going to hazard to guess and if I'm wrong, please correct me that you work with people that you don't physically sit in space with in the same room, you probably work remotely. What does that look like? And how does that benefit just so that people have an understanding that they can still receive benefits of working with energy with a master outside of being in the same room?

Well, Energy is everywhere. And just thinking about, you know, when you think of a loved one, who's you know, what the other side of the country? And how do you feel when you thinking about them? Right? You know, you either you're in worry, oh, my hope they're okay. Or you feel this, you know, warmth of love, that's vibration, you don't need to be in the same space as them. And the beautiful thing with Reiki is often it's above the body anyways, it's not a hands on often, I mean, sometimes you can place hands. But working remotely, you really have to be anybody can do it. It's like prayer, you know. But to do it remotely, you have to really be able to focus inward, you have to be in that space of non ego, which is to say, I don't know if this is gonna work. I don't know if I can, you know, that's definitely ego based thinking. I used to think ego was about bragging, I would have friends in high school, or they are so good at this and that and they would tell you, Oh, I'm this, I'm that. And I'm like, I never want to be that way, I would be the total opposite. I feel I'm not very good at this. I'm not very good at that. And then years later, I found out huh, that's ego to oh, this time, I was trying not to be ego. So it's interesting how things have a way of showing you the flip side. But to do things at a distance, it's just the same as in person. When you close your eyes, you don't know the difference, right? And you can just use your imagination.

I love that. So connection. And I think that's such a beautiful way for us to remind ourselves that we can still send healing energy of love or, you know, intention to others in a positive way, regardless if we're in the same space. So thank you for sharing that. When we think about when you think about who you are today and where you are today. And you think about a younger version of yourself. Is there any wisdom that you would share with her?

Oh, that's a question isn't it? It would be Believe, believe in yourself. Believe in yourself and trust anyways. And I know, you know later in life just a few years ago, I had to fully lean into believing the unbelievable, you know, when my marriage was falling apart and I wasn't sure how things were gonna go, we, we sold our house, but I still hadn't found a new place to live. I didn't know what to expect, I had to really lean into that trust. And I would keep popping out of it, it back into worry. And I'd remind myself, you know why the universe has always supported me, always, even through the unpleasant things, I'm still here, I'm still this side of the dirt. Just trust and you'd be amazed how it works out, I found a place that I could move into within four weeks where usually when you have possession of a house, it can sometimes take two or three months, it depends. So it works out perfectly. And I got to move out of the house the day before the other people were moving in, and I got to move into the place I'm in now. And it's like, I look back, and I'm like, holy moly. Like everything just clicked into place. The universe always has a plan. We don't need to know the how we just need to trust and belief.

And I hope everybody just anchors that in life is happening for us just remember to be in action and along the ride.

Yes, absolutely.

Right. So you know, I'm wanting to get you're offering this really incredible gift to those that are listening tonight. And it's the or today or this morning or wherever they meet, you know, whoever, wherever you are for where you're tuning in. And it's called the introvert roadmap, and five ways to tap into your introvert superpower without feeling exhausted or out of alignment with your True Nature. And we're gonna put that in the show notes so they can tap into that. Can you explain what that is? So if people are curious.

Yeah, I actually, it relates a lot to introverted entrepreneurs. That's because I do work with a lot of introvert, introverted entrepreneurs. And it just helps it gives you these five ways to look at things a little differently that take you along the path towards your success. But really, they you can use them in your life as well. Because like I said, at the beginning of our chat, we can't turn introversion on and off, depending if we're at work or at home, it is who we are. And when we can use it to our advantage, we realize it's actually a superpower. And when we turn it into that, instead of seeing it as a detriment, it just raises our vibration, which, as you know, is the key to everything. higher vibration brings us better experiences brings us people that were meant to connect with and it just makes the world go around.

And you point out something really cool about that. When when I think about it, we're gonna possibly have somebody listening right now that's like, Am I an introvert? I don't know. What would be some of the signs for people to consider they might be on the introverted side of the situation?

That's a great question. I think one of the obvious ones is when you feel really drained after being around people, and I do work with a lot with empaths, as well. So sometimes, you know, Empath and introversion often go hand in hand. But it sometimes takes you a long time to bounce back from being around social situations. Another one could be feeling socially awkward around other people feeling really consciously aware of yourself and how awkward and all the negative stuff we think of ourselves comes out in those times. And just a quick suggestion, if that's how you feel, turn it outward, to the circumstances around you, where where can you shine your light to help someone else and you take the spotlight off of you, and you put it on something better, some not better than yourself, but something outside of yourself, it can really kind of shift that awkwardness and creates that centered calmness within you. Yeah, those are the two main things if someone I think you often know there's some portion of introversion within you. And my biggest suggestion is don't beat yourself up for needing to take time away for yourself. That's just the key is to managing your energy so you can show up and shine and help those that you're meant to help. That's the key to everything when it comes to being an introvert in this heart space world.

That is the most powerful nugget of all things It's you know, ultimately if you take care of you and fill your bucket first, you can pour into others. Absolutely right. And that's not as not selfishness that's not avoidance that you know, all the things that I might be labeled that is just downright good care, personal self care and and leading from a good place. So Lorraine, we're getting close now to ending our time together. And I want to ensure that nothing is left unsaid Is there anything that you want to make sure that you share with the listeners right now or a final thought that you'd love to leave everybody with?

Well, we did cover a lot of ground. I think truly, to realize that being introverted doesn't mean that we can't live in reaching fulfilling lives. Just honoring where you are, and trusting that there's a reason for it, and always look for that light. And that reason, in whatever circumstances, it definitely takes the the spotlight off the awkwardness for sure.

Thank you so much, Lorraine, for sharing your wisdom and your personal story around, you know, being introverted, and how you support people in in navigating what that looks like and what that means for them. Thank you so much for being on the show.

Thank you for having me, Jenny, appreciate you.