EP52: The Power of the Pause with Alan Carroll

This is winning with wellness, a podcast about inspiring the wellness warrior in you. If you're feeling lost or alone in your wellness journey, or looking for new ideas and inspiration, you are in the right place, a place you can learn about all things wellness, in business life and living your host, Jenny Ryce, we'll be bringing you inspiring stories and practical tools to improve your overall wellness, personally and professionally. Imagine what living a life of wellness would be like. Thank you for joining us today.

Hi, everyone, welcome back to another show and episode of winning with wellness. This whole purpose of this show is to inspire you, and encourage you to step into new ways of being and I cannot wait for you to meet my guest, Alan Carroll. He is exceptional at articulating ways to think and step outside the box. Alan, welcome to the show.

Thank you very much, Jenny. Thank you very much.

thrilled to have you here. Everybody. I just wanted to share a little bit about Alan's background. So you guys have an idea of who I'm sharing time with and you're sharing space and time with and then we're gonna dig into our conversation. So you guys, Alan Carroll is an edge, basically education psychologist specializing in transpersonal psychology. He created Alan Carroll and Associates 30 years ago, and before that he was a senior sales training consultant for 10 years at Digital Equipment Corporation. Alan authored the brand story, the broadband connection, the art of delivering and winning it presentation. He's super passionate about giving people the experience of mindfulness and presence through public speaking. Alan and I are obviously extremely passionate about mindset. As you know, that's my jam. If you've listened to this show before, he has dedicated his life in search of tools that can be used by everyone to escape the psychological suffering caused by our ego and reconnect to the vast transcendent spiritual dimension of consciousness. That sounds exceptional. I can't wait to take this journey with you. That lies just on the other side of thoughts. We think, Alan, again, welcome to the show. Thank you. Thank you. So before everybody, I mean, it's this is the thing I wish I could record out all portions of our conversation and put it on the show, because we were actually really digging into a beautiful topic around Mother Earth being in nature, we were talking actually sharing about where we both live, and understanding how wellness and you, you have a different term that you'd like to use. And I'd love for you to share it with the audience about connecting to nature and what that can do for us.

Thank you. One of the things that I've that I've discovered on my journey, and I'm sure all of you have heard about them are the five elements. And the five elements vary depending on what culture you're talking about. But from my perspective, I think what the Greeks talked about earth, air, fire, water, and the fifth one, the fifth one is a little vague, because it's outside of our it's outside the physical, it's called space. And what I've discovered is that the more space you can consciously create, like I'm putting spaces between the sounds, and I'm speaking right now, the more I practice creating spaces, the more spacious I become. And when the more spacious you become, it's like hard wall versus a screen. So when you're facing all the challenges that you're facing in your life, either you resist it with creations disease, and the difficulties are you relax, you take a breath, you ground your body, you walk out in nature, and you still the agitation going on inside your head. And when you still the agitation you move from a reactive mode to a more of a ah, I'm able to respond to what's going on and that will create stillness was creates ease in the physical body which is definitely wellness.

I love that I don't know if you guys listening felt that but as you I was kind of walking the pathway with you and walking outside and literally when you said and then you can feel that I physically felt the ease just from imagining being outside. So when we when we talk about wellness, what does that mean to you what just well That's actually mean to you.

Going back to the five elements, are you are you balanced? In the physical? Are you are you are you are you aware of the five elements that that is life, not their mind. But the five elements of, of I have a candle burning for fire, I drink water out of a copper vessel rather than a glass vessel, I ground my body, I walk in nature, I incorporate the fifth element and I cooperate the elements. And the most important element for the transformation of consciousness is the fifth element, space, space and space is beyond the physical. And if you can create space between the thoughts that you speak, by just pausing, it also connects to the thoughts that you think right now, the thoughts that you think is just one continuous stream of consciousness, because it goes right through all day long. And what you want to do is break that stream of consciousness into smaller parts. And when you can create the gap between the thoughts that you think you discovered the transcendent dimension of consciousness, which is like the ripple discovering the ocean, it's like, what, oh, I had no idea that existed, your ego got in the way, because your ego is the stream of thought,

right? So what led you to your work because sales is a far stretch from where you are okay? It's actually it's not a far stretch, but what led you to your work. Because, you know, we're talking corporate, and now we're talking space, and I think there's so many dots that connect there, but many of us are afraid to connect the dots. So I'd love to hear your your journey.

journey starts with suffering. Yeah, it starts with the pain, the pain, I feel today, I still feel the the suffering of the longing for something that and the analogy that I use is my favorite movie, Matrix One, two, and three. Number one, number one, that was a that was that's what it's about folks. But it has to do with the trance, the cont, you know, there's something more than then the suffering that I'm experiencing now. And, and, and so it creates a longing, it creates a longing to for something, to heal the pain, something to heal the pain. And so I'm a transpersonal psychologist, what I've learned to heal the pain of public speaking, is to take the fifth element of space, which is to pause because it creates a space between the sounds. And all of a sudden, in that space of emptiness, you create a connection to the transcendent dimension, in which you can get control of what I call is none of you can see this is a command override switch, that I can stop when I want to stop. And I can start and go when I want to go. And most people aren't able to control that. There. Yes, React, React, React, React, React, are not able to stop, because the ego gets in the way. So you got to get beyond the ego. Why don't you get to be on the ego journey. You got to be on the ego by practicing putting gaps between the thoughts that you speak between the thoughts that you think by consciously controlling the thoughts that you speak. In order to do that. You got to be present, I got to be here with you in order to pause between this sound. And this sound that's called the space of stillness. That's called the space of love. That's called the space of universal consciousness. It's a portal into the ocean of emptiness. And but the gotta give up the ego, the ego or the sounds, you got to give up the sounds. I want to give up the sound. That's who I am. Well, that's my opinion. You got to get beyond that one. Otherwise, you're you're solidified in this point of view and you're stuck.

When I think through your demonstration, just in conversation, the power of the pause is exceptional. It. It allows information to land, it allows process time it allows connection and like you say, and for those listening, I'm sure as you're moving through this, many of us couldn't see you couldn't see. But Alan was holding up a paddle that showed stopping go. And what's powerful is when you're in the STOP mode, you are deciding to move into the Go mode, which I think is again, so incredibly powerful.

That ability to stop gives you a choice about what's the next action you're going to take. And then you say well if I have control of the action, is the action going to make the flowers grow in the greenhouse or am I actually going to make the flowers die in my greenhouse? Right? Oh, I want to I want to take an action, which is one of love, rather than one of attacking something that's attacking my opinion about about something that that only leads to unwellness. But love leads to wellness. So you want to practice,

practice nurturing. So when you think Alan, when you think about, I, obviously you work with people through this process, what do you find are some of the biggest barriers that people run into when it comes to taking on this practice? Because obviously, it's a habit we need to change and develop into and evolve. What do you find are the biggest barriers for people but I know we've mentioned the ego is do you have any other ones that you find? are I mean egos huge? Do you have any other ones that pop up?

I find that the nothing pops up for me to to describe what I would recommend doing. Other than other than other than to practice. It's like, I can use props. Alright, I use my train Jenny, I always use props,

which I love visual visual tools are amazing.

They have a greater impact on learning if you can see it in a three dimensional form. Yeah. And we'll move on and be able to do is to describe the the ability to be in space. And you can be in space by by dismounting from the train of thought that you're thinking right now. But you got to catch yourself thinking so anytime during the day, you catch yourself thinking, and people think 24/7. So it's easy to catch yourself thinking. Anytime you catch yourself thinking say to yourself, Okay, I'm going to take three breaths. I take my three breaths. And as I breathe out, I asked for S for stop T for Take three breaths, oh four, observe and allow the attention to your body to relax and flow out of your feet. And then the T for stop is proceed with kindness. If you do that just once a day. It takes what 30 seconds. That would create a beachhead, that allows you to have stillness, grow in your life. If you can, if you can do that, well, that's what I do. But you got to wake up to do it. So great. You have to be

asleep. Yeah. So that's what we're really hoping I think this episode will do for people is wake people up. Understand one small action can create a monumental shift in your way in your being nevermind around, you know, the people that you're with. So when you think about the work that you're doing now, Alan, and you think about a younger version of yourself, what would what wisdom would you share with that younger version of yourself.

My younger version was terrified of public speaking. Hmm. And but I ended up with Warner Earhart, and the S training back in the 70s. And I went through a public speaking program with them. And I had to face the fear to face the fear and face the fear again and again and again and again and again. But the mine said nines and they got to be a little uncomfortable. I don't want to make a fool out of myself, you know, it holds you back. Mm hmm. But the more times you you step on the gas, the Father, you're going to go and love yourself, whatever you lazy, the lazy man's guide to enlightenment. It's a small book, that yes, gold is got it when I was that age, you know what a young he talked about, you're not going to get to a higher level of consciousness until you can love where you're at right now. And that means you have to have loving thoughts about yourself. And most people don't have loving thoughts about themselves at times. They have unloving thoughts about themselves. So that keeps you in hell. Yeah, if you want to get out of hell, you got to think about a way of controlling the thoughts that you're thinking in order to make the flowers grow rather than the flowers die. And you do that by pausing between the sounds that you speak, and also stopping it's like getting off the train, exercising, going back on the train of thought, and that disrupts that disrupts that train of thought that train that pattern speaking it disrupts it. And that's what you want to be able to do. You want to dissolve it. You want to dissolve that stream called your ego. You wanted to dissolve it, still there, but it's it's spacious now. It's no longer under spacious. You're now spacious you are now relax as stuff comes at you rather than resist.

Right blast. The power of the pause. I think I'm going to keep dropping that all day. Because when we think about you know is it our net natural natures to be negative our amygdala mind His job is to protect us. And I'm air quoting people. So, you know, when you when you work with somebody and you start seeing them, do you find the greatest shift comes from the pause? Is their ability to shift from a positive from a negative thought pattern to a positive? Like, what do you find is the first couple of things that people realize through the that, that action of pausing and creating space,

it wouldn't be the positive thought pattern or the negative thought that is that that involves something inside your head. It's more difficult to get at the stuff inside your head, but it's easy to get the stuff inside the headsets. So I said you may not be able to control the thoughts of the ego things. But you can certainly control the thoughts that the ego speaks. You can control the thoughts that the ego speaks, you create the reality in which you live with your speaking, what you what you think and what you see is the same thing. So what you speak into the world, I like that I don't like that this is good, this is bad creates that reality. And by controlling the timing of your speaking, you don't have a choice. And 99% of the people don't have a choice about what they want to say, because it's automatic speaking, it's an automatic, the event reaction occurred the same time, versus if you can pause the event. Breathe, relax your body, notice all this stuff churning up inside your head, all the judgments about that there's notice it notice it grabbed your body, get your body still still take a breath, grab your body, then go back to the event and see what your decisions are going to be. But you come to the event from stillness, and you don't engage in the event until you've gotten control of your physical body. You haven't gotten to totally political body, then who are you to be speaking you can even get your body gun control, right, I get your body under control.

It tells us so many provides us so many signals. And we like to stay because we're moving at 1000 miles per hour, we're not noticing or paying attention to those really powerful cues. If it doesn't feel good in your body, chances are there's an impact. You know, that pause is so powerful. So when you think about your own journey, what have been some of the biggest highlights as you've moved to this awareness and what have been some of the biggest struggles,

highlights were getting up on the stage and surviving,

right? Yes, amen.

When I did my beginning of my work with Werner, they started out with small groups and small groups got bigger. And so more people are gonna be judging me. So I remember driving to the seminars, thinking I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. They're gonna discover who I really am.

Oh, that conversation internally before?

Why would I put myself in front of an audience to be discovered to be and who I thought I was, was was weak, was insignificant. Was Was unloved. unloved is another word. And, and what I so by doing it facing the fear when I went home that night, I'm high and feeling great because i i Look, I look the devil in the face, I look death in the face. And I said I'm going to and I went towards the towards the pain and I got to squeeze an experience of wisdom and joy out of it survival, which gave me strength to do it again. And to do it again and again and again. So that's my that's sort of the way it starts for me. And the second part of your question I think that was a struggle with second part yeah

like what what did you find where you either see your struggle or your biggest barriers creating the shift?

Well I'm blessed I'm blessed by doors opening up. Warner Earhart appeared in my reality because of when Salisbury for sociology professor at San Jose State. So he took us to Warner's a worker is that then then you go to other opportunities that come your way, a business opportunities that come your way? I have no idea. I don't. We never did advertising. It's word of mouth. And thank God for that because it's grows and grows. Until I just been blessed. I don't look at the struggles and struggles I look at them as as mind and the more older I get, the more I'm able to convert it from being a struggle to an opportunity and to come still and realizing that Eckhart Tolle talks about he says 85 90% Of all the suffering people experiences are the thoughts you have about the situation rather than the situation itself. Most people think it's a situation needs to be fixed in order for me to be important for me to be happy, is it? No, no, no, no, it's not. It's not the situation. It's the thoughts about the situation that need to be examined. But no one does that. Because the ego doesn't look this way. The ego looks outside. Right. Oh, my responsibility. You did it to me, Jen.

Yeah, exactly. It's, you know, and I think one of those powerful things that you're sharing is the reality is, our thoughts become our truth. Yep. So when we pause, we allow the, we allow ourselves to actually define our truth. And I think that is such a beautiful thing.

And the way I add to that, is the, the way you paint it, and I'll bring up a paintbrush that they can not see. But this event occurs at this moment or not, and how do I how do I interpret it? How do I paint it? Good, bad, right? Wrong. But my mother said what the church said that I thought, then I know what it is because I because I painted it. Well, what's the paint that you use? Well, the paint came from the past. It's not present time paint is past painting. So you're looking at this moment of now, through a veil of the past, you can't see what's there. But you can dissolve the veil by putting pauses between the sounds that you speak, it disrupts the programming, like the red pill in the matrix. This is the red pill, the space is the red pill that allows you to disrupt the automaticity of the program. And so then you becoming Well, I'm able to stop and get my body grounded. And most people can't do that. Because it takes practice. It's not your because the ego is not interested in that he goes interested in whatever the Eagles wants,

right? It's it can be the power house, and you know, the dominator in the in the relationship. So that power of pause is a subtle way to really disrupt that process. So Alan, we're getting close to our time together. There's something that I haven't asked you yet that you would love to make sure you share with the people that are listening.

I love the opportunity to share about a journey that I've been on all my life, a journey of transformation, a journey of getting out of the ego, what and understanding what the ego is, all the ego is just a stream of thinking that goes inside my head. That's all the ego is just a stream of thinking those thoughts. You are not the thoughts, you're watching the thoughts. You're the observer of the thoughts. But right now you are the thoughts. But as you practice, mindful, spacious speaking, you become more relaxed. And pretty soon you can watch the thoughts, then choose which thoughts you want to follow. can't choose where it comes from. But but you can certainly choose if I'm going to follow that train of thought or not, I'm going to follow another train of thought. That's a that's an important concept. And I just like to share that again.

I'm really glad you did. Because honestly, that is like a game changing concept. Like it literally can redefine your life in in different areas. So Alan, I know that we're going to have listeners that are looking to connect with you. I personally will be putting your contact information in all our show notes. But do you have any specific way you would like people to reach you?

Best way would be the website, ACA mindful you.com Wonderful. That's the best way that to reach the IHS and connect with us and to see what trainings that we offering and what activities that we involved and what activities you can get involved into on your journey for mindfulness.

I love it. So Alan, any final thoughts,

thank you for the opportunity to to share with you and allow the love and the kindness of the blessings to pass through me to bless bless you. And I just think I feel chills in my body just have the opportunity to share what I had to share

with you. Well, and I can thank you on behalf of myself and our listeners for sharing your wisdom and your passion. There is nothing more powerful then sharing from somebody who's not only walked through it, but also now empowering others to to see the new the new way of being the possibility. So thank you so much for sharing your story and being on the show. listeners. Thank you for being here. Again, our show is the sum of the people that listen and participate and share this whole event. This whole process is strictly about being there for you and we thank you so much for being there for us. Do not forget to hesitate to ignite the wellness warrior in you. You can always join us at your holistic earth if you wish to dig deeper. And again, Alison Allen, thank you so much for being on the show.

Thank you Jenny.