EP39: Ignite Your Life with Travis Belanger

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Welcome everyone, to a another episode of winning with wellness. I am so excited to tap into the masculine. We are having a conversation today around all things men and women, you need to listen to this too. It's important information is valuable when we talk about wellness for everybody. We're all connected to a male in some way we didn't get here without them. So really important to tap into this conversation. Travis, welcome.

Hello, how are you?

I'm so good. I'm so thrilled to have you here. I'm going to share with everybody a little bit about what you do. And then we'll get into this amazing conversation. So you guys Travis Bellanger is a dynamic coach, speaker, best selling co author and founder of men on fire. Travis helps men ignite their life and reclaim their passion and purpose to create the success and legacy that they desire. So I have been blessed to listen to you speak Travis, it is so much deeper than what you've just, you know, the bio doesn't even do it justice. It's like what you do is you show men that it's possible that you connect them to an a new way of being. And I really want to dig in with you and and ask you a deep question around wellness. So, you know, many of us live in a gray area of wellness where we're not healthy. And we're not sick, we're kind of in the middle. Why is redefining wellness important to you?

Is Back in the day, when you would ask somebody even nowadays, you can ask that question about who a guy is, and they'll tell you that what they do for their job. Mm hmm. You know, they won't talk about they might say, Well, I'm a coach, and I do this, they won't talk about the really important stuff, like their, their, what their their body is, what state their body is that a lot of guys just kind of roll along and then they don't you know, typical guys don't go see doctors. And then uh, you know, all of a sudden they hit with a crisis in their body, and oh, and then it's emergency and they're so far in the hole that, you know, it's and it's mindset. And so what is going to give them a different mindset, if you're used to going to work every day and going home, going out and drink with your buddies afterwards. Or just sitting to sit around watching TV because I work so hard. You're entitled to sit around and watch TV. But how about some discipline about, you know, listening to something that's good, that's other than your work that is good for your mind that talks about your body that talks about your heart stuff, because a lot of times we get so wrapped up in what we do, and what defines us in our jobs that we forget that, you know, sometimes we have partners, we have kids, we have families we have ourselves to take care of and we don't take care of ourselves. And then we end up with trauma, right? And then there's the part about your mind. It's It's It's hard to describe what happens when you do mindset work for a couple of years or even a year consistently. The tweak that happens to your brain i i went through that and I was just like, Oh my God, I am a totally different person from what I was through four years ago, to where I am now. You know, I went from not being on social media at all to doing videos every day talking about everything. And it was it was really good. And I had people complimenting me on my videos and saying you know, what you said really means a lot. And then I then I've always been I've always been a kind of a chatty person site. When I started personal development. I just was more intentional about sending guys videos and messages and guys were like, Dude, that was exactly what I need to hear today. I got it at work and I had a crappy day. And then I listened to your message and that turned my whole week around. So yeah, super powerful like and I wouldn't probably wouldn't have done that if I didn't start doing personal development and doing more reading and listening.

So what do you think is the roadblock for personal development when we think of men as a whole, you know, because there again, there's the stereotype with like, they don't go to the doctor. I mean, you hit them all. Yeah, you They're not going to share their feelings. They're not going to do this. What do you think? Is is the they tell me share with me?

Well, it's it's patterns it's a call it you can get into some of the stuff some of its generational trauma, some of its generational behaviors where you just don't talk about stuff. You don't read. I mean, when I grew up, I love my parents, we had Reader's Digest, but the things I liked reading, read it, when you go to the bathroom, there was at a Reader's Digest there. And that's what they read, or they read romance novels. There wasn't a personal development book in our house to be had, it just wasn't a thing. And it wasn't any anything negative about them, or about what how we live, we just it wasn't a thing. Nobody really ever talked about that kind of stuff. You know, you had the Bible, because we were your went to church, and you had Reader's Digest, and you had a few magazines, but it's it's patterns, what you grew up with, like what you know, is a lot of times how you grow like and if that's what you're, that's what you're around, then that's what you're going to be used to, and you're not going to know any different than, you know, I was when I moved off the farm when I was 19, I moved into the city and the first influential guy, and that was a guy that was in network marketing. And of all the things he was in the good old Amway business. Oh, my good. He was like, and I'd heard about it before. But what attracted me to it was the mindset stuff they did. And this guy's like I said, Yeah, I heard that my ad was in it. They're really good products. I said, Sign me up, I want to do and he goes, No, you got to come to a meeting. First, you got to meet some people for some, like, no, Sign me up. And so the first book he gave me was how to win friends and influence people. And I that tweaked my brain, and I have read that book and given it away, like a dozen times over my lifetime. And there's just things in there, you just weren't taught like, yeah, I learned growing up on a farm, how to be nice to people what charity was, you know, I was involved in youth group I was in for age, you learned about community service work, but it was a very small little area that you were exposed to. So now with social media and stuff, it really just kind of blew it up. And the exposure I have to all these different people, these influencers and teachers has been crazy. But you have to just put it in your mind, okay, these people have what everybody wants, they have family, they have financial success, they have mental wellness, they have physical, good physical condition. Okay, well, you have to break that barrier of, I can't do that. You know, limited mindset is so crazy. And the stories we tell ourselves are even more crazy, like, some of us are defeating ourselves.

Totally. We're, we're literally working against ourselves. So I'm curious, when you think of the stereotype, and you think of leading, leading a movement, you really are of trying to show men that there is a different way, right, like, you know, you're breaking down the the stereotypes and barriers, like you said for yourself, it was just even reading a book that inspired you to think in a different way. When you when we have listeners right now that are probably either they may have dads, they might have sons, they may have best friends, partners. When we think of those individuals, like what, what would you say would be a great way to approach knowing, you know, approach like, Hey, do you want to try reading this? Because again, if somebody is like, Oh, if I read that book, I'm this says this about me? Like how do you bust that? Nobody bust through that brick wall?

So there's two, I got two stories I can tell about that. So I was you can make an assessment of all the people you've met in your life, right? Some of the most difficult people I've met are engineers, because they're very formulaic thinking, right? That's how they think it's all process oriented. And I worked, I was to contract into the city of Edmonton and I was working with this engineer. And he was very stoic, you know, just always closed off very serious all the time. And then he told me one day, he's like, I met this guy for years, he got married. And after his first year, he's like, we're gonna have my wife's pregnant. I said, Oh, that's no, yeah. I said, Can I give you some personal advice? And he's like, Sure. So I kind of pull up a chair. And I said, every day that your wife's pregnant, talking to your wife's belly and say hello to your baby. He's like, what I said, make her microphone that her belly button, be that microphone and talk to your baby. I said, it's good for mom, and it's good for the baby. I said, Dude, do that. And then when the baby's born, make sure you change as many diapers you can and do as many things as you can. So anyways, I didn't talk to him for like, the rest of his her term would have been the head the baby and he came back like two years later, and he says, Dude, that was like the best advice that you could have anybody's ever given me about that. He says that connection that I have with my My wife and my kid now is so powerful. And I said, he goes like, how did you whatever made you think of that? I said, dude, read some books. You're smart guy, you go to school for seven years to be an engineer, invest in yourself and read some books. And so now I tell guys, I said, all these successful guys that read it, they say, to spend 2% of your income on yourself. I said, What are you spending on yourself? And most guys are like, like clothes, they buy clothes. Yeah. Right. Yeah, yeah. And I'm like, Well, dude, you need to invest in yourself to need to put some something in here to change this so that you know everybody else around you can benefit. I said, if you always do what you've always done that saying, right? And so telling guys, like, you need to have those conversations. And I had a, I had a seven. I've owned a welding business for 20 years. And I had a friend come up from another city to pick up some stuff for me, and he's, we're wrapping it up, and he's getting going to leave, he's get go to get in his truck. And I said, Dude, I said, What are you doing later? Like, what's going on? Going home? I don't know, if I'm staying together with my partner. They've been together 11 years. And I said, Whoa, said, Wait a second. What do you mean, you're not? You don't know. The conversation continued for another half an hour in the backyard. And I said, dude, well, what was the last time you read a book? He's like, Dude, I don't read books. Like picture this big, like six foot 250 pound, heavyset guy bald tattoos. I don't read books, dude. And I'm like, what you mean, you don't read books. And I always tell guys do it's not cool to not read books, like you're a trained tradesmen, and you won't read books. So I went and got two copies of The Five Love Languages. I said, Dude, I'm going to give you these two books. I want you to give one to your wife. You guys need to read these books. And he's like, I said, Do you love your wife? And he's like, yes. I said, You need to read these books, halfway back to Calgary, and said, you know, he's he phones me. He goes, he was all emotionally like, Dude, my wife has read this book before. I think you just saved my marriage. Wow. And power. Yeah. Like he and to this day, they got a great relief. And then he started posting pictures with them together. And it's one of those things, we're just asking those questions, right? Because most guys are not going to get asked those questions. You know, and if you don't share your experience with other people, like a lot of guys don't share those emotional experiences, because it's vulnerable. And it's emotional and sensitive. And I'm like, who the hell cares? You know, you don't care. If you buy a set of mag wheels for your truck, that it's totally unreasonable. And you spend $4,000 on wheels. You don't care what that what people think. But you would care that you shared something emotional, that might help that guy's life. Yeah, so

I think, let that land for a second. You'll spend money on things, but you won't put yourself in a vulnerable state. Wow. Yeah, that's powerful.

How we spend money on the tools we need, right? Like I have had welding trucks, I have a skid steer, you know, I need to buy good equipment. And I said, if I if it doesn't have a good intention, I generally don't buy it. But you have to spend money on training, you have to spend money on quality on tools, because what you put in is what you get out.

So when you think about books, let's let's just say you're leading people to water, right? You're leading people to the water. What is the one book that you always recommend?

How to Win Friends and Influence People is a huge one, especially if you're in any kind of business setting. That's the first one. There's like a there's a key group of books that I always recommend for guys, if it's more on the coaching side of things, Lewis Howes his book of masks is incredible. Like it's too to hear a story like that is just so powerful. And most guys don't think about the masks that you wear, like we all when men and women both wear masks. And so that book explains in depth 100% You know, the masks that we wear and that you don't have to wear them. So hey,

you guys, did you hear those two books? Yeah, um, those

book is masks of masculinity, by the way, masks of masculinity. Yeah. Okay. All right.

So when we think about oh, my gosh, you and I could talk for 1000 hours. Honestly, I could just so when you think let's tap into wellness again for a little bit. So what modality Do you like to use or would you recommend in overall like wellness, what's one of the practices that you like to bring into play?

So for me, because I'm a very physical guy, deep tissue massage has always been my thing. Mm hmm. I love that just breaking down. And because it just like pushes all the stress out of your muscles, it just gets it all out there. Right. And I always tie that in with chiropractic. That's been my huge thing. And I've recommended that to so many people, like even my own father took me years to get him to go to a chiropractor, and he's like, No, he now he goes, I know I can't go. I can't not go I have to You know, and I said, Well, yeah, cuz we're always out of alignment. And how many times have we out of alignment physically, spiritually, emotionally, you know, verbally, we can be out of alignment. It's, it's, it's everything. And so I recently experienced cranial sacral therapy, which was his was it by most people stands to be very woowoo. And very, you know, it's very misunderstood. But my friend that does it. I was just like, oh my god, I felt the change immediately, as soon as I left there. And years ago, when I was in right in the thick of my welding, trade, my welding business. Yoga, I had a friend I grew up with that change, turned her life around, moved to Kelowna started a yoga practice started, she was also a public speaker. And I went away for a weekend, and that changed everything. And then I ended up going three or four more times, to different weekend retreats. And the change is just incredible. Like to just get out of that mindset. It was like being in a different world when I was there. And the energy was different. You know, you're more, you're focused on something completely different than what you normally aren't. You're focused on yourself. Mm hmm. And it really changed everything. Yoga is huge. And I've been I've been fit into fitness my whole life, like lifting weights and such and running and yoga is like a workout. Oh, yeah. No, there's, there's, you know, there's things that you do in yoga that will push you harder than lifting weights, sometimes.

It's so profound. And I, I really hope that anybody that's listening doesn't matter, your gender, the importance of stepping in, and trying, what do you have to lose? Yeah, you have so much to gain. You know, I was saying this quote, the other day at a workshop I was hosting, it's been Oh, Gretzky, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take? Yeah, you know, what do you have to lose? Think of everything you have to gain. It's like, read a book, it will change your life, it will change your life. So Travis, when you think about your younger self, and you think about where you are now in your life, is there something knowing, knowing the wisdom you've developed? And knowing? Is there something you wish you could have shared with that younger person sooner?

Absolutely. I think about this all the time, you know, I, at the, with the age of the internet, and, you know, cell phones and that sort of thing. I mean, that was a generation that you and I the advent of the cell phone came the advent of the Internet right now. But I wish I would have read more books. You know, I remember being introduced to Tony Robbins, the power of a camera that whatever his series tape series was he had when I was 20 years old. And I listened to that. And I'm like, I should have focused on that more, because that information nowadays is so powerful. So reading and listening and better Association, like I was, so you get so distracted in your younger years. When really? Yeah, right. I think that's what I would have. I would have read more and I would have journaled more 100%.

Yeah, reflect? You know, and it's so important that we, you know, and science is proving this with neuroplasticity all the time, right now, we can reprogram ourselves, you know, we've got, we've adapted this generational story, we, you know, we inherited it from our parents, or grandparents or ancestors, and our environment, but we get to change our minds, we get to decide if we want to live the life we're living, we get to decide if we want to change our habits, and we can do that. And you know, your work that you do is incredible and exceptional. And it really is a generational ripple effect the things that you do and share with people because when people change their way of being to be more fulfilled, and more honest, living in their truth, it impacts all of those people around them. Is there anything, Travis that you wish I have had asked you that I haven't?

I think that was the what disciplines I could have developed in my younger years. Yeah, talk, you know, because it was because it affects your legacy. Right? And you don't think about our legacy. I talk about legacy all the time. What those disciplines would have been, and I was pretty good on the physical discipline. I've always been a person that exercise from even a young age, but it's keeping up those disciplines and what what are they like, where do you go? I mean, reading and writing is one thing, but then there's the daily habits and consistent sleep and all that kind of stuff and people that have done that generally are in a different place in their life. You know, the rewards are there, right? So then what does legacy really mean? And having that focus to defining your purpose at a younger age, and I know what 19 to 20, you're probably not going to have that figured out. But constantly working on that, and figuring that out would be really important because honestly, I, I kind of had my purpose defined for a long time, but it didn't align with what I was doing. Hmm. So the disciplines around that figuring out okay, what is this going to get me to my goal? And I just never really had the guidance on that. And so, yeah, that that would be the thing is what can you do to stay on? On Course, with your purpose?

On personal brands, right, like, how do I? Who do I want to be? How do I want to show up? What story do I want to leave? What imprint do I want to embark? Yeah, powerful, powerful. Messaging. So curious, Travis, how do people find you?

I have my my facebook page man on fire with Travis Balaji. And then on fire.co was on the the website. And yeah, that's social media is my Facebook is my main the one that I use. I'm not really on any other ones right now. So

awesome. And I understand that you're we're going to be posting a link for you for people to share as well. And in reference to some resources in that. Did you want to elaborate on that at all? Or?

You're talking about for the men's group, I believe. Yeah. to ignite your life mens rea. Ignite your life brotherhood. I can't that's that's obviously just for men.

But that's okay. Yes, the thing. That's okay. Yeah. You know, I mean, you guys need to have your own place, too.

Yeah. Well, and interestingly enough, like my fiance, coaches, women, yes. So it's, it's they fits well together. Because a lot of times I'm attending women's events when I first met Michelle, it was kind of crazy, because I'd go to her events, and there'd be one guy. Yeah, maybe two. So I got to hear all the other sides of what was going on. And what I saw, I'm like, There's 60 women here and no men. These events are emotional and important. And guys, aren't there. Why are where I'm like, where's your husband's? That's not his thing. Like the events not his thing, or you're not his thing? Like, how is your personal development? Not his thing? Right. So, yeah, it's, it's interesting. But yeah, ignite your life Brotherhood is is a good place for support. It's a safe container for guys to have a conversation if they really want to have a conversation about anything. So

and that's, uh, I thank you for creating that space. Because anybody that's listening, that is whether you're drawn as a male to this event, or you have a male in your life that can use a space to have a conversation, or just observe and see what it looks like. Because I guarantee they're gonna see a reflection of themselves in that space, we are blessed as women, right to have, like, you say, we go to these events, and there's tons of women and we're all feeling the things together. So we have, we have that opportunity to to feel supported, even if we don't speak where there's not a lot of spaces for men. So I thank you so much for creating that on behalf of the human race. It's very important, you know, it impacts all of us. It impacts us, everybody, and it's about time, it's time. You know, there is no shame in feeling like goodness, that's one of our greatest attributes as human beings. Yeah, so we need to, we need to dust that off for men specifically, and, and allow them the space to, to work that muscle and get, you know, get into it. Travis, thank you so much for being on the show. I so appreciate you being here. And I can't thank you enough for sharing your wisdom.

Thank you. I really appreciate it. And is there anything that I can do to support you in what you're doing?