EP35: A Glimpse Of Hope On Dealing With Trauma with Dawn Taylor

This is winning with wellness, a podcast about inspiring the wellness warrior in you. If you're feeling lost or alone in your wellness journey, or looking for new ideas and inspiration, you are in the right place, a place you can learn about all things wellness, in business life and living your host Jenny rice, we'll be bringing you inspiring stories and practical tools to improve your overall wellness personally and professionally. Imagine what living a life of wellness would be like. Thank you for joining us today.

Welcome back everyone to winning with wellness. I am so thrilled to have Dawn Taylor here with me. Welcome, Dawn.

Thank you. I'm so excited to be here.

So I want to thank all you guys that are listening today. This podcast would not be a podcast without you otherwise, it would just be a really great conversation. We are so excited to have you here listening. And Dawn is going to share some incredible insights and wisdom with us. I do want to share a little bit about her first. So Dawn Taylor is the professional ask kicker, hope giver international trauma specialist, life coach, strategist and all around badass. Das journey into helping others heal began when she took her personal recovery from the trauma she experienced in her life into her own hands. While at times unconventional, which isn't a shock when you get to know Dawn, Dawn's strategic methods have helped hundreds heal from issues related to childhood abuse, PTSD to severe anxiety and depression. So again, Don, welcome to the show. I can't dig wait to dig into these topics with you.

Thank you. I'm just excited to get to hang out with you again. Oh, it's great.

I want to ask you, what does wellness mean to you?

Oh, wellness means so much. I think that a lot of people think of it is just their physical health. And for me I was talking about like when I think about like, one of my big values in my life is like being healthy and strong. And people are like, Oh, what is that? And I'm like, That's mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, financial and relational. That's all of them. And so for me, that means looking at all of those almost like a giant wheel and being like, Okay, what is working? What's not working? What's out of order? And how do I need to fix them, because I can have maybe two or three out of whack at a time. But if anything more than that goes out of whack, I collapse. And it doesn't work. So for me, it's really looking at all of those, and tweaking all of them and working through all of them.

So when we think about you do a lot of work, you know you you do trauma work. And when you deal with trauma work, I'm I know it's hard for people to step in because they got to do the work. So most of us, you know, the you know, I shouldn't say most of us, but when you're in a traumatic situation, a lot of people press it and push it down and hide it and hide it and hide it. And then 10 years later it surfaces in all other areas and other ways, our lives. So when if we've got someone listening right now who is thinking about Ooh, I've got to dig into some of this stuff. And they are not sure what that looks like, can you give them a bit of insight on you know, where to start? Like, where's one tangible place to start?

Well, I think even I always ask clients, like one of the first things I'll ask them is like, can I see your space? And they're like, what? And I'm like, I want to see your house, what does your house look like? And they're gonna laugh at me and some of them just flat out refuse. But your physical space matches your mental space. Always, always. So if you're living in complete and utter chaos, or disaster that is like that's an easy way without even going to talk to anyone that is an easy way to like immediately start to improve your mental health is even just like cleaning up your crap. Right? Just going through. Easiest way to do it, go through with a garbage bag right off the bat and just get rid of everything is garbage. Right, the audio, it's obvious, just get rid of it. Right? And then go back through and one room at a time. Be like Okay, now what actually has a home care I'm going to just put those away. Right so if it's a thing that like you're like, Oh, the laundry this morning on my couch for the last six months, just put it away. Right but set a timer for yourself do like 1015 minutes at a time. It doesn't have to be like I'm going to clean sweep home edit my house in the next five minutes. Right? But little things like that, then look Like, what are you eating? How much is that affecting it? What are you doing that are really, really toxic behaviors. I know for myself, I catch myself, because I'm so aware of it right? And I work this all the time. I'll catch myself and be like, What am I watching? Wow, I'm in a really bad mood every single time. I'm done watching that are like my moods just kind of tanked. What book Am I reading right now? Man, there was a book that came out a few years ago there was like that it book in like self development, growth, everything. It tanked my mood for a solid two weeks after reading it daily for three days. Hank to me, and I was like, what is it and I realized it was the book I was reading. It took me that long to pull myself out of it. Hmm. Because the book affected me that bad. It was interesting, because everyone I knew was reading and I started to ask people like, can we find yourself a little bit more grumpy or a little bit more edgy? And they're like, Yeah, and it was like, stop reading the book for a few days and see if it you recover. They're like, what it was that book? And I was like, Yeah, we don't realize like, we didn't realize how important that is. And then find someone you trust, right? Find someone you trust that you can talk to someone who resonates with you. So I know. For myself, like, Oh, tell me ask her hope give her and it's it people are like, on this offensive. And I was like, You know what, a lot of people with trauma, they're so afraid of hurting other people they're so afraid of with their story, or they're afraid of being able to actually be real and raw and vulnerable. And I sort of I put the word out there even in my title. They laugh, but they're like, Okay, so she's probably not going to be mad if I say a really bad word. Right? Right. She's probably going to be okay. If I actually say what's on my mind. Or if I like, swear like a sailor through our entire coaching session, it's not going to face her. Right? And so for someone that really resonates with you, I know for myself, I work with a lot of guys, I work with a lot of women with super deep trauma. I work with Annabelle and men with deep trauma, teenagers, they're like, I don't want to talk to some of those like a mom, right? Like, they want me to drop an F bomb and coaching because it makes them comfortable. It makes them feel safe. Right? Yeah, find the person that resonates action. Yeah, with you that person that you're like, Oh, I actually feel like I can sit with you like a friend and have coffee and just spill my guts to you and not feel judged. Not feel like it's too much for you not feel like you can handle my story. That's always the comment that I get. And remember one client, she's like, it was about a week later. And she's like, I didn't break you. I was like, what? And she goes, for the first time I told my story and I didn't break someone she's like, like, you're okay. And I was like, oh, sweet girl. Yes, yes. Okay, she's like, I didn't break you like she was so excited. Which then allowed her to like, even go to a deeper level on a deeper level on a deeper level with me, right? Find your person. And it might not be who everybody else uses. It doesn't matter. Find what works for you. But interview them not the other way around. Amen. Right. Interview them.

Yeah, me talking to them. Inactive man.

Right. And my biggest recommendation with that is when you talk to them, ask them about the biggest hardest thing they've had to overcome in their own life. And what they did to overcome it, if they're not willing to answer, they're not the right fit for you.

You want to you want to have that connection and that trust you want to build the trust before you step in because that is especially especially as we talk about trauma, it's a very vulnerable state. So when we think about, you know, I love to ask this question from where you stand right now. What would you tell your younger self?

Oh, man, um, one is like continue to not stop fighting for yourself. Even though you keep getting told You're too much. Right? Like I was so hammered into my head that I was too much that I was an inconvenience. And I shut off so much of myself because of that. More of my heart honestly, than anything because I didn't want to get hurt. But I've continued to stay scrappy, and fight for myself. Right? So just to be like, trust me, you're going to be glad you're doing this. Like, as much as as much as suck really bad today, like down the road. You're gonna be so proud of yourself for the fact that you were the scrap and you'll find your people that love that about you,

which I do love that about you.

It's entertaining.

So is there any other advice that you would share other than stay scrappy?

You know, one step I think we think we have I think that so many people believe they have to like have the big, huge goal and they have to have the five months and the 10 year and the 25 year goal. I don't. I know that sounds crazy. My brain is like, three months out, maybe six for lucky. Like, that's what I'm gonna be doing in a year. I have no idea. And with that, though, I think we also feel like an entire day has to be an amazing or an entire week has to be amazing. And sometimes life's really hard. Often life is really hard. And sometimes we can only get through a day, sometimes it's an hour. Sometimes it's 60 seconds. Right? I remember my when my grandpa passed away, my grandma asked me makes me teary, sorry. My grandma asked me, she was like, how do you do it? And I said, What? And she was hugging me. And she was whispering in my ear. She's like, how do you handle this? Because I dealt with death in a sick spouse and stuff. And this is right before he passed away about a month before he passed away. And electronics, the grandma, this is somebody you can't actually do one day at a time because it's too much. And she's like, Yeah, and everyone says it's okay, you get a new day tomorrow. She's like, I'm done with this one, it's 90. And I said, I was like Rama, sometimes I'll literally set a timer on my phone. And my goal is to make it to 10 minutes. And then I know I survive 10 minutes, and I could just make it 10 more. So but there's times I've literally had to count to 60. I congratulate myself for lasting a minute and then count again. And she was like, okay, I can do that. And it was really cute at his funeral, she came up and gave me a hug. And she whispered to three. Here. I was like, I love you. Like it was the cutest thing. But I think we need more of that. We need more of that to actually give ourselves that grace to be like, You know what, today's a really hard day.

And step into it and, and be comfortable with with knowing. Yeah, sit with

it, sit with it and figure out like, what about this is so hard. What about this is hurting so much? Right? I'm dealing with some health stuff right now. And it's been interesting, because I was for me, it's also like, every area, like I said, but it's also like I go natural. I go, you know, medical, like Western, like I do all of it.

Play in all the pools. I played all the pools,

right. And I think it's the best combo for me personally. And so while I'm doing all these treatments for these thyroid diseases, and all these other things going on, I'm also doing some, you know, energy work and some psychology work in terms of like, what is causing it? What are some of the roots behind it? Not just that, right? Because there's a reason why this thyroid stuffs been going on for 23 years, there's a reason why no one's been able to figure it out. So what is it I need to heal and cure it behind the scenes, right? So while I'm doing these treatments that are amazing, and doing all that, and IVs and all that stuff. It's also been really interesting to open up other aspects of it. And I know last night, my husband called me because I'm, you know, out of town right now, I'm 10 hours away from home doing treatments. Two weeks on two weeks off, so it's just weird. I'm living this very, like gypsy wonder lifestyle right now. But we were talking and he goes, You just sound sad. And I was like, My heart hurts. And he's like, Oh, baby, I'm like, no, no, it's okay. I said, it's just sort of uncovered some big stuff this weekend. And I said, it physically hurts right now. And he's like, is there anything I can do to heal it or help you? And I was like, No, I just have to let it hurt. Right now. That's actually just what it needs. And I just have to sit with it. If he's like, you're so funny. And he's like, but you're right, like, that's what you need. Right? So I just allowed it and I woke up in a completely different headspace this morning. was amazing, right? But we were so scared to sit in our hurt. We're so scared to sit in our pain, because of where our brains like go or how they might process it or what's going to come out of it and a challenge to a client recently. She's like, Donna can't be alone with my thoughts. And I was like, What's the worst thing that would happen? She's like, they go dark. And I was like, Yeah, but if you were to actually allow them, where would they go after that? And she's like, I don't know. I've never let them I always just like put on music or TV or drink or do something. Like really start drinking. And I said, I want to challenge you. I said I'm on standby all day. I said I want to challenge you first thing in the morning no music, no TV, no alcohol. No nothing. I said sit with your thoughts and whatever you're doing and just let them go. She's like, what if they tried to kill me and I was like, well physically your thoughts can't actually kill you like it's not like they like hold a gun to you or something I said, but just play them out and see what happens. So then you can call me if you need the distraction. She was like, Okay. And she laughed. She's like It was wild on it was like a roller coaster like, I was like happy. And then I was sad. And then I was raging. And she goes, and also I was like, I came off the ride. And I was like, Well, I feel so much better. And I said, because our brains need to process. They need that. Like, they need to just sit and think and be in silence with our with us. Right? Let them write, we're too fast to just distract and shut down the negative because the negative is bad. And that's the messaging we're getting out there so much of and it's like, no, no, let my brain actually figure out how to process its way through it.

That's where learning comes from, as well. And growth is standing in it good or bad, whatever, whatever the presence is. So yeah, that's some powerful, powerful messaging, I hope those of us that are listening are really, you know, taking to heart the importance of viewing the situation, living in the situation, because it will come back.

Oh, girl, it'll come back and haunt you for the rest of your life.

It comes back and it comes back and it comes back. And sometimes, you know, had we dealt with it in the moment, it would be so much easier because when it comes back, it's got all kinds of other stuff stuff not to offer. So it just polarizes all the other experiences. So

Oh, it does.

I love what you share about that. I would be very curious. When when you think about like modalities and you talked about I love that you shared that that you I'm the same way I play in all, you know supportive tools I do the westernized allopathic medicine. I'm all about naturopathic I'm about mind, body, soul, all the things, right. So when people don't get stuck in was, like, really like reactive medicine I tend to go to for the allopathic and westernized like, something's happened. It's got to be dealt with immediately. What do you got? That's really their showcase there?

That's like, no, no, there's a problem. But that's also where you get the ultrasounds to do the natural medicine with that's where you get the testing that you need to do some of the other stuff with, right, absolutely.

So I love I love my ally, like my wife, you know, my holistic pieces in that for really stepping into that proactive and long term. So I am fascinated, and I'm blessed to be a host of this show and have your holistic earth I am learning on the daily these modalities that I didn't even know existed in ways of supporting our healing and our health. Is there a modality out there that you haven't done yet that you're looking forward to trying or experimenting? Is there one that's kind of like sitting in the wings that you haven't tapped into?

You know what, it's, I'm kind of doing it right now. Okay, it's so Western medicine is where I managed to get I couldn't. So we were living on Vancouver Island, I opened my healing home, everything was going amazing, got really sick. And so I ended up working with a nature path to get the blood work because in BC they can actually ordered all your bloodwork for you. And requisition that which is different from Alberta, which is where I've lived less 20 years. And so that's where I got my bloodwork my results, but then I couldn't get a doctor and it was just like so guys fight for your health. This is the moral of the story is don't stop fighting and don't take no as an answer. So I went to the naturopath who ordered me all the bloodwork I wasn't happy with it ordered more blood work, wasn't happy with it, couldn't find a doctor there drove all the way to Edmonton to get my doctor here if I paid him cash to see me. So he saw me, he's the one who got me in for the ultrasound, which is where I found out that I have a very rare severe thyroid disease. But then with that the treatment is steroids, Masto steroids for six to eight to 12 months, and then another you know, 12 to 18 months of trying to balance it out and figure it out. Well my body doesn't react well to stories, stories I noticed from having a brain aneurysm and being an investor. It's right. So with that, then I went to many two paths here that I'd worked with, because he also does stuff with like the cross cancer and like he's so much he has a bit more medicine, like Western medicine about him than anyone else. And so I've been doing a lot of research and my husband had been and I was like, I want to not just heal the thyroid. Like the 23 years of health since the brain aneurysm where all these problems have been. I was like, how do you actually regenerate yourself? How do you actually regrow stuff? How do you like there's got to be treatments out there for that. There are they're just these like weird elite treatments that like athletes do and celebrities do and all these people to stay young. I'm doing them all now because like So I'm like doing any ad treatments and ozone therapy and like all of these other treatments. And it's been really, really cool. Like, I'm like, no, no, I'm actually like regenerating the cells that have been destroyed in my body, I'm regenerating my body to be able to heal itself in a different way. So I'm really excited about that. And I have massive needle and IV trauma. Like, really severe, like, they usually meet down in a dark room on a table and strapped me down and right, and let me like, lay there and then use an infant needle on me and like, Couette me soothing the whole time just to get a vial of blood in me like, and then I like sit in my car and saw for half an hour after I'm talking like mass needle trauma. So for me to sign up to get like 10 IVs a week is kind of insane. And everyone around me is like, are you doing right here, but but here I am. And I'm doing it. And it's working. And I'm getting results. And I'm starting to feel better. And yeah, so I'm really excited about this. And like all the regeneration stuff of cells, I think, doing the research on it, it's so huge with people that have had trauma, because often there's a lot of drug addiction and alcohol addiction and that regrow so much of that. And then in doing the research, I found out that the one treatment, the weird elite when I'm doing they use it in these high end drug facilities. Like that's what they're using on people to regrow those cells sear even thinking different and processing different. So yeah, I'm really excited about that. And then I've been doing some energy work, click on the side of it. Yeah, it's been pretty intense. I think I've I'm here for two weeks, and I've 24 treatments in two weeks of being here.

Oh, well, I can't wait to check in and see how things are progressing for you. So when we think about the audience, and you think about your you know, your passion is healing people through trauma and helping people find a new way of being. Is there anything before we finished other time that you wish I'd asked you or that you want to make sure it's shared with people that are listening? I

think there's a there's not a proper understanding for people of a trauma is people think of trauma as just the big ones, right? Like I was raped or I was abused, or someone held a gun in my hand or you know, it's like big, big, big stuff. Right? And really a promise anytime your nervous system has been jarred, right? So it could be a conversation you had as a kid, it could be your parents getting divorced, it could be all of these things. And what we typically do, and I hear this all the time is like, Yeah, but my trauma is not that bad. Or my childhood wasn't that bad? And it's like, yes, but is it still affecting you on a day to day basis? Is it still coming up and causing you to react to something in an irrational way? Is it coming up and still causing you problems in relationships or work or whatever, then it was bad enough that you need to work through it. Right? So for people to never look at it as like, but my traumas not big enough? No. Your trauma was huge.

So Let's heal. Now. Your your journey, your story.

Totally. And it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if it's not the same as someone else's, or there's this bigger, grander or whatever. I always tell people I'm like, praise the Lord, You have not had my life. Like I could not be more grateful you've not had to live my trauma does not mean that the impact of what happened to you is not just as severe as what happened to me,

when I think we lose sight of that. And I'm glad you brought that up. It's all relative, it's all relative, our way of being our life. So oh my goodness,

this sexual it's like I've been through it all right. Everything from drug addiction to a brain aneurysm eating disorders, suicide attempts brain in your like, sexual abuse, like I've been through all of it. I can honestly tell you, the big ones have probably affected me less long term than some of the tiny ones. Then a statement that someone made to me or a relationship or different things where it's like, no, no, that's what still bothers me on a day to day basis. That's what I'm having to

work through. It's interesting, isn't it? Right, so interesting. Yep. Oh my gosh, Don, thank you so much for being on the show and sharing your wisdom. I'm going to make sure that how to contact you and find you is all in the show notes. And is there any other way you want people to be able to connect with you? Yeah,

I am on Instagram Facebook, you can email me hello at the tillery.ca Good grief. If you Google me you can even find my personal cell phone number call me. Love it. Right so healing calm is going to be opening up again. In spring, hopefully right so there's a waiting list starting for that which is going to be amazing. It's an immersion style think like rehab for your mental health. So yeah, I'm really excited about that and just gonna take this winter to heal me. So yeah, give me a call someone needs and if I'm not the right fit, I know lots of people out there that do other cool work and I'm more than willing to refer so