EP28: The Story You Tell, The Wellness You Feel with Susan Binnie

This is winning with wellness, a podcast about inspiring the wellness warrior in you. If you're feeling lost or alone in your wellness journey, or looking for new ideas and inspiration, you are in the right place, a place you can learn about all things wellness, in business life and living. Your host Jenny rice, we'll be bringing you inspiring stories and practical tools to improve your overall wellness personally and professionally. Imagine what living a life of wellness would be like. Thank you for joining us today.

Hi, everyone, it is another episode of winning with wellness. I am thrilled, honored excited. Let me see if there's any other crazy words in celebration. But I have Susan Binney here with me to share her wisdom around wellness and her belief system around wellness. Susan, thank you so much for being here.

Thanks for having me. I'm so excited.

I cannot wait to dig into our conversation. And uh, however, I want to let people know a little bit about you and your background. So I'm going to give them that professional side of things and then we'll get into a really great conversation. So everyone Susan Binney is a three time best selling author, motivational speaker and empowerment coach is founder of powerful women unite and CEO of her life, she helps women align with what they do with the story, they tell others telling it confidently and powerfully she empowers women to take the word out of their personal story, turning fear into power. Susan is a guiding light having a unique ability to hold space for others, allowing their stories to flow with her to gain momentum and reflect upon them in what can only be described as a magical magical conduit. So Susan, I'm so excited. And for those men out there that are listening, this translates to don't feel left out, I want you to take this information, and use it where it serves you So Susan, welcome. Welcome. Thank you for being here.

Yeah, thanks so much. And I'm so glad you mentioned with man, because they're a big part of our life. And everything that I'm about to share, you know, really will help men as well. I like to empower women, because it's usually the woman that doesn't have the voice. And you know, it's interesting, when you read my bio, I just won't stop you. And I said, I was going to say, you know, you had mentioned, take the word out of the story. You tell yourself, take the word can't. Now, I don't know if that's there, or if it's not, but ironically, that word can't, isn't the only word that we need to take out of the story we tell ourselves all the time, right? It's about taking the word cat out the word stop the word no good enough the word doubt, self doubt, like all of that stuff. So I really believe that that happened for a reason. And that's so amazing that it did.

You know it's ironic it I literally copied and pasted it into, and the word is not in there. I just checked, because I was like, there you go. I felt like I was missing a word. But it's beautiful. Like talk about talk about a incredible segue segue. I mean, seriously, you know. So this show and the purpose of the show. And my passion behind creating the show was really about creating awareness around what wellness means for everybody. And it came to me because I knew that I was living in an area of gray wellness, I wasn't sick, and I wasn't well, but I was, you know, living, surviving functioning, but I wasn't optimizing. And I'm curious, what does wellness mean for you?

Yeah, that's a big question. And, you know, I think I have a pretty big answer for the you. Wellness has changed so much in the past couple of years. You know, when we get into a time, like the pandemic, where we're in this, this is how you should feel and this is what you should live and everything else. And for me, I'm like, Am I okay? In this way of my life? Am I okay? Not doing presentations, public interviews, public stories, speaking, because that's who I am. And I fell into this, looking at myself, and looking at myself in a mirror or on a computer screen on a zoom call, for example, right? We've all experienced that. And if you're not feeling good about yourself, or you're not seeing yourself in a good way, then you're beating yourself up inside and that just really, really down that well feeling of who you are, and that wellness being. And so I have combined more ever computer, of course, but outside my family, my space, my spirituality. And once I was open to the possibility of new things, and everything that comes with that, the wellness part of me inside came out. And sometimes I don't feel great. I mean, we have good days and bad days. But I've been able to recognize when my body doesn't feel well, and make sure that I'm doing it for my body. So for me, wellness is just a really rounded, short answer long answer of awareness of what I need in every moment to feel better about who I am, and how I'm portraying myself to the world.

And I, I really want to just anchor that in for those that are listening, I think it's such a powerful thing to realize that, and I've noticed this in my own work, working with people on their self awareness and self worth has been a spike. And I do I do equate it to constantly looking at ourselves. You know, it's like standing with a mirror in front of us all day being on Zoom. And if we had a toxic internal dialogue before the Zoom era, right, I mean, I always I was blessed. I was working on Zune long before this came forward, so I worked through these things myself already. But it just creates almost like this polarized, you know, beam of light that, you know, amplifies that toxic internal dialogue. So when you're when you're working with people, or you're talking about I love, I love the the error in your bio, I think that was fantastic. When you talk about taking the can't or the should or I'm not worthy, all of those things, what would you say are some of the top three things that you share with with the people that you support and help to work through those.

So it's really one of the biggest things is reframing. Because if you say I can't do this, because I'm not strong enough, you need to turn that around and say, I'm able to do this, I've got this, I am doing this because I am strong. I am me. And so it's not even about taking cat out and putting cannon, it's about changing your vocabulary for you. So that it's going to make you feel the best you can feel, you know, you mentioned about wellness. And that and that grounding of, you know where we are, and we're looking at ourselves all the time. Before this podcast, I was like, oh, is my hair. Okay? And? And do I feel okay, and what's going on on the inside? Oh, I've got butterflies and is this imposter syndrome, everything that's going on? And to tie that to your question. Imposter syndrome is something we just have to stop, you are good enough to be you. And you are above equal to a little below, everyone that you're around, they haven't experienced everything you have. So it's about helping others as well. Getting out of the stories that they're telling themselves, we always hear people beating themselves up, and we're right there to jump in and help them but we really have to do is help yourself as well. So the reframing the you know, telling yourself these positive affirmations of who you are and not putting yourself in this imposter syndrome, dialogue. And also just recognizing, um, you know, if I'm not feeling well, why, and drilling down the why? Because that's really, really important of just drilling down and understanding what triggered this. Why am I feeling this? How can I not feel this? How can I change this? It's something happened yesterday that I've dragged into today, did something happened 10 years ago, that I dragged into today, you know, what is that story that I'm telling myself constantly?

And I value the the insight about revisiting and reframing because as as a creature as a species, by nature, we are drawn to negative thoughts. We are drawn to the negative it's very interesting. I mean, this is why fear sells on TV. This is why you know there's a lot of marketing strategy around fear because we we tend to our primal mind and mind tends to gravitate to that. So when you work with people or yourself I mean, I I'm an open book, I'll tell you nobody, I shouldn't say nobody but I imposter syndrome was like my backpack that I wore for years and I'm not gonna lie it surfaces everything Once in a while still, but you know, it took me time to unpack that backpack and and determine that. So when you're working with someone that's working through the imposter syndrome or unsure, what would you say, are some of the biggest barriers, the themes that you've seen for people?

One of the biggest ones is self judgment. They're beating themselves up based on a story that they believe that someone else has told them. And, you know, I've gotten over this thing about judgment and and other people judging me, because people are going to judge you regardless, right? They're going to look at you the way they want. And it's what's going on for them. It's not what's going on for you. But it's that self judgment. And it's about working through knowing that you are good enough, just who you are. So it's really a dialogue of working through, you know, the stories that they're telling others in their business, a lot of people are like, Oh, I'm not good enough to get up on that stage, or I'm not pretty enough, or I'm not this or I'm not that. And it's really about reworking that building up, because, and also, I really regret the outcome. And it's not focusing so much on the outcome, because the outcome can change. But what do you want to happen from the actions that you're doing today? Mm hmm. You know, we all want this wonderful life, or a life that we say is wonderful, a successful life. And we need to work towards what that looks like for us. And define those terms. For us, again, going back to the words, right, and the stories, the word successful to me, I'm sure it's different than it is for you. I know I'm successful, because I've raised four kids, two of my own two stepchildren, four grandchildren, who they survived, despite me, right. And therefore, I'm a successful mother. I'm a successful person, right? And it's how we equate that. So it's really about looking at that, that outcome. And if I'm, you know, on this podcast today, what is the outcome I want from this? I mean, to me, that's obvious. I want people to live a better life, and I want them to feel well in the process, right? But some people haven't really thought about, where do we want to be tomorrow? Where we want to be at the end of the day? And what do I want to feel like? So it's really about helping them work through those stories. And and almost reframing the stories and the limited beliefs that were built into their system, when they were 234 years old. You know, not to go back and dwell, but to go back and say, What was that story that you were telling? Oh, okay. That's why you're still telling yourself that. Do you know what was going on from your mom, when she yelled at you? Do you know what was going on for your breath when he told you bad things like, you don't, you know, how you felt and what your inner dialogue you're telling yourself. And if you're still telling yourself that story, when they're all long gone, it's going to continue to make you unwell, make you not have the outcome you want not live the life that you deserve?

Well, and it's all about finding new ways to thrive. I think what's so interesting, and I love that you talk about looking at the past, you know, I'm a firm believer, and I share this with my clients all the time, I'm going to ask you to look in the rearview mirror once in a while. But if you drive with your, you know, if you're driving forward and you're in the rearview mirror the whole time, you're definitely going to crash. We want to we want to find what's serving us there. And we want to find what's not serving us there. And what's so beautiful as you bring this forward in the thought that sometimes these imprints are done when we're too young to have the skill set to understand the compounding situation. Like you say you don't know what was happening with your mom at the time when she maybe said something that made you feel inferior or small. You don't know what happened or what was going on, you know, maybe your brother potentially and I'm just making things up, obviously, you guys I don't know all the stories and backgrounds. But maybe your brother was bullied. I'm not even saying this as a real story of yours either. But maybe your brother was bullied before he had an interaction with you. Now we don't know the we can only choose to react and can take on. And now as we get older again, it's like, you know, I invite my clients and this is something that I did in my own healing journey. Go back, stand there for a minute. What strength did you develop in there? Where was the what resilience Did you capture in that moment? And what do you need to let go? What you know, is it true? Is it true? And I had no idea when I was drowning my own loathing of you know not feeling worthy imposter syndrome seriously was Like I might have been in, it should have been a neon sign all over my whole, you know, those suits, you see people that are all hit up. The gentleman and buzzer buzzer buzzer I had it so bad. And I realized, oh my gosh, it's so not true. But the strength that I learned to move past that belief system, especially as a young person, it's powerful. So thank you for sharing that. And Susan is beautiful. So curious, knowing who you are now. And where you've been? What would you tell yourself? Your younger self? What would you share? And I mean, only go where you're comfortable? Because that's a deep question.

That is a deep question. And I'm actually going to go into a deep answer based on what we've just been talking about. You know, I go into the, you know, what did your mom say? Or do? My mom was tired, she had five kids, I was the youngest. And my brother. Well, I look back at it now. And he propelled my love life to hold me in the role of victim. He told me I wasn't good enough. I wasn't smart enough. I wasn't pretty, I didn't have friends have to be loved. I would never be successful. All the things. Now I was six, he was eight. I don't know if that's exactly what he told me. But I carry that my entire life. Right up until the past five years where I've been able to reframe that and and know that he made me who I am. And so there's two things. When I was when I was six, I would tell myself, only believe what is true for you. And not what others are telling you.

I mean, can we just hold that for a sec? Yeah. I want everybody to hear that. Can you repeat that you would tell your six year old self? Only hold what's true for you? Yeah, what you think other people believe?

Yes. Powerful,

powerful. No, and

yeah. And number two is when I was helping others. And actually, I'm getting goose these right now because one of the stories I tell in the work that I do is I helped so many people from the time I was very little, my neighbors, my friends, my school, teachers and everyone. But there was never anybody to help me. And I look back and I go, that's not true. I didn't know how to say yes. Yes, I need help. Yes, I will listen, yes, I can receive. So I would go back and tell my younger school hood girl, love yourself. And if you need help reach out and ask for it. Because it's right beside you. You've helped them they'll help you. It's just that simple. And that stays true today. I mean, I don't help people to get help back. But I serve theirs. And I help them with what they need. I listened to what they need. And I supply that to them. And if it comes back to me, fantastic. And if it doesn't, it's going to go on to somebody else and create a ripple effect to somebody else. So,

yeah, wow. I love that. Because, you know, and I just want to just capitalize on that a little bit too, especially those of you listening. When we are in service to ourselves, we are in service to others. And it's okay to ask for help. You know, we we are a creature that was designed to be in community and have support and help each other. Honestly, 90%, and I'm making a number up. But that's what I feel in my heart that 90% of the human population. If you ask a stranger for help, they're going to help you. We only see what we are shown. And people are always showing things that aren't the greatest because again, we tend to fear ourselves. There are good people out there, Mr. Rogers says it's so beautifully when you are in a situation. That is tragic. Look for those that are helping. They're there. Those are the good people. And you never have to do it alone. Right. Susan asked for help.

Absolutely. And I just want to add to that, things that happen to you. tragedies, obstacles, bad stories, bad things. They're not happening to you. They're happening for you. And it's about turning that around and looking at what did I learn from this? You know, everything we do in life, if we do it in the first time or the second time, if we continue to make the same mistakes over and over and over. We're not learning but if we have to go through something because God higher power universe said, You need to go through this to learn not, you're being punished. So I'm putting you through this. So that's something that's really important to remember. It's happening for you. Everything that's happened in my life has gotten to me to where I am right now. and grateful to be here.

Well, and it's so interesting, because in all of this, many of us forget, and myself included, and I champion this message, we forget, we have choice, we have choice to all that choice of thought, choice of action, choice of inaction. And we give away our power of choice very easily. And we forget that in all stages, no matter whether we're being oppressed, nobody can take away your choice of thought. Nobody that is yours and yours alone, they might be able to manipulate your physical body, they might be able to manipulate your your surroundings, but nobody can stop what you are thinking. And it's a powerful tool. It's a powerful wellness tool. Our mind is such an amazing gift. It can work against us, as we've talked about earlier. But when we crack the code, when we crack the code, it can be so freeing, so freeing. We're getting near to the end. Susan, I want to ask you a question. Is there anything you feel that I've missed that you would love to share with the audience while you have this opportunity?

Oh, wow, you know, I could talk forever about the mindset and the wellness behind it. But I think the only thing that I just want to like reinstate to make it really, really quick. And this is everything that we've talked about. Yes, you can. Yes, you will. Because yes, you are, and what do you want? And really what that means, and that's a mantra and something that I live by, and I teach, what do you want out of your life? Right? Who do you need to become to get that? So who are you? What can you do focus on the things that you can do get help where you can't? And what will you do to get there? Because it is a choice. Um, and other than that, I think, Jenny, you are just so insightful. And so in tune with me and where I'm at that. I think you've asked all those questions, and I'm just grateful to be able to answer them and, you know, instill this wisdom on everyone who's listening.

Thank you. Now, Susan, I mean, to make sure that people know how to find you in the shownotes. But I understand that you have a free offer for the people that are listening, did you want to share about that?

I do. And you know, there's two things because I help people with the story, they tell others, and I help people with the story they tell themselves, and how that propels them forward. So I actually have two gifts. The first one is, if there's anybody out there that wants to jump on a free 30 minute call with me. And anyone that knows me, it's not going to be 30 minutes, it's probably going to be 45.

I was like, I've had the call, it's a lead into it,

I'm not going to shut you down. Right. Um, but you will, you will get a calendar link for that. Or you can certainly reach out to me at Susan at Susan bidding calm, which is my email address. We're on Facebook, easiest ways of getting in touch with me. I also have a story journey. So if you're wanting to dig into sort of what is the story in my life that's aligned with my business, that I should be sharing with the world, and helping at least one person out there because there's always one person you can help. You just want to go to my website, which is Susan binney.com. Forward slash, story secrets. And it's basically seven story secrets to help you get clients. But it will help you work through that process of what's the story you're telling yourself and and how do you want to tell that to others. That's amazing.

So everybody, I'll make sure it's in the show notes as well. Thank you, Susan, so much for your time. It's honor to have you here and sharing your story and empowering others to do the same. Thank you so much for being here.

Thanks so much for having me. It's been an honor. And all of