EP21: Money Confidence Is For Everyone With Kristin Fortier

This is winning with wellness, a podcast about inspiring the wellness warrior in you. If you're feeling lost or alone in your wellness journey, or looking for new ideas and inspiration, you are in the right place, a place you can learn about all things wellness, in business life and living your host, Jenny rice, we'll be bringing you inspiring stories and practical tools to improve your overall wellness, personally and professionally. Imagine what living a life of wellness would be like. Thank you for joining us today.

Welcome everyone, to another amazing episode of winning with wellness, I am thrilled and so excited, which you guys always know I get excited when I'm interviewing. I have Kristen here with me today. And she is all things finance. So we are going to talk about how wellness and finance, coincide and live together. So thank you so much for being here and listening. Kristen. Welcome. Hey, Jenny, I'm so excited to be here this morning. thrilled to have you and I know I can't wait till we dig into what we're going to share with our conversation around finances. I know for many of us, it is a touchy subject or a fleeting subject in our homes and in our lives. So I can't wait for us to to dig into how we can support people through that. But beforehand, I'd love to let people know a little bit about you. So Kristen, for Shay consulting incorporated was built from a passion for finance in the desire for women to make confident money decisions. Christine is a chartered professional accountant. That's really an important thing you guys when you're talking to someone around finance to make sure they have some credentials behind them kind of a big deal. Okay, with over 15 years of corporate finance and accounting experience as well as three years entrepreneurship. Kristin facilitates female entrepreneurs and working Mama's when they're ready to kick the overwhelm and align their money values and goals. Love it, love it, love it. Whether operating as a consultant or a coach, it's amazing to see the physical transformation that can occur as a client opens up about their worries and dreams. Oh, my gosh, you know, I think that really, it says right there that last sentence you share about in your bio. And, you know, finance, finance has such a hold on so many things in our lives. And, you know, for those that are listening that might not I know, Kristen's focus in her professional world, it leans towards women, but she works with all genders, just so you know. And this knowledge we're going to share and have this conversation around today is non gender specific. Yeah, like money translates it doesn't it does money doesn't care what body parts you have. Let's just put it that way. So. So Kristin, let's dig into this a little bit. I would love to know your thoughts How? How your financial wellness relates to your wellness overall, would you mind giving your insight on that?

Yeah. So I think it's such a huge part of our overall financial or our overall wellness. And we actually do so so little to ever actually address it. And so, through pandemic, I feel like a silver lining has been we've a lot of people understand mental health in a whole new way. Right, everybody has dealt with things that have been a totally new experience. So we understand and empathize different. But a big part of coming through pandemic that we haven't addressed at all, is that financial wellness piece people have never been stressed the way they've been stressed in the last year and a half. And so we're not doing anything to talk about our money. And I talked about financial wellness in terms of having cash in your bank account. But it's it's all those topics in terms of, you know, your debt load, or your investments or your personal insurance. And so, I think I think it's easy to think about, I'll have financial wellness when I make a certain amount of money or when I hit a certain age, and it's very much like your financial wellness will help you sleep at night. And that's something that everybody knows is important for our overall wellness and our stress.

Well and you know, I love that you you bring that to the forefront sleep is where our body naturally heals. We all talk about these superpowers that we have I mean literally our body will heal itself if you give it the space and capacity and part of that asleep. And we also know that high levels of stress in our lives is very detrimental to our overall health. I don't know the statistics on this, and I didn't ask you to research it. So I'm not putting you on the spot. But I do know that financial stress is one of the top stressors in people's lives. And it's Yeah. So when we think about financial stress, and knowing what you know, and how you love helping people move through that, when you think of, for especially those that are listening, they're like, yeah, I feel it. I don't sleep at night, I'm worrying about money all the time. What are some, some starter steps or some things that people can do to get in touch with because you made a good point, many of us don't even want to look at it. You're like, if I close my eyes, and pay no attention to these bills, or the budget, maybe it will fix itself? So what are some, some starter steps for people to kind of take control or step into the strength of Finance? Yeah, so

I think we're always quick to Google when we're trying to figure out our problems. And so as soon as you look at that, it's like, well make a budget and understand all your expenses and where your cash is going, which for some people, that's absolutely reassuring. And that is what they need for most people, they just need to start talking about it, because they're not even talking about it. So they're not even ready to dive into the numbers, right. And so what I find is, people just really need a safe space. So they need somebody, either their partner or a friend or a family member, or even a third party that they know, they can be really transparent with. Because our money is complex, there's a lot of emotion tied to it. And I find most times people just need to voice some things out. And then as we talk about it, they're like, okay, like, what was really overwhelming and heavy in my head. And on my heart, when I say it out loud, somebody else's, like, Oh, I was there a couple years ago, and you're you have that moment of being like, I'm not alone, I'm not the only one going through this, I don't need to have those feelings of embarrassment and shame. And so really just talking to somebody safe, it gives you that, that space to start coming up with ideas, right, it gets you going from stuck to seeing the possibilities of moving through whatever's really causing you stress. And obviously, finances are such a personal thing. Nobody's experiences exactly identical.

Oh, my gosh, that's so true. And I love that you share, it's important to find a safe space to have that conversation. And truthfully, most times for many, it's that third party, because they they don't carry the shame around the conversation. Right? Yeah. And, you know, I would hope that as as society is changing, as we're all growing, you know, I'm older, you know, I'm, I'm in, you know, I was born in 1971. So I came from a generation where people still weren't talking about money at the kitchen table, or, you know, at the dining room table, or wherever people ate, it was it was seen, not heard. And, you know, of course, in our home, I'm very transparent about where money is and where isn't and why we can do things and when we can't do things, because I want my girls to understand that when you've got somebody that sits down with you that is hesitant to share the truth around their money, what do you find is the biggest roadblock for them. Um,

I think it's really just the fact that they do feel so alone. So they feel, I don't think we do, I think most households Do not talk about money, I'm so excited to hear that you guys do have some of those conversations, because it doesn't take a lot. It doesn't. It never has to be the nitty gritty, you're not sitting down and being like I made this much money last year. That's not really the value in the conversation. And most people aren't comfortable with that. And it isn't even really necessarily beneficial. But it's that feeling of aloneness. So when somebody sits down with me, they're often very closed off. And you can tell they're a little bit embarrassed, and they start telling their story or where they're at. And all of a sudden, it's just like an explosion, like the dam breaks of like the story. We're what they're going through. And they have that moment where you can physically see them change and like they sit up straight, and we come up with a bit of a game plan, and they start smiling and laughing. And so there's actually just a physical transformation within that conversation, because they've just let go of some of that burden. And they're no longer so alone. So that's it's amazing to see that just by having a conversation and me as a third party. I have no judgment. Everybody's story is different. But it's just being able to have that conversation and recognizing like, okay, I talked to Kristen, we talked about it in this regard. I now have a bit of confidence to maybe go home and talk to my partner about it. And maybe you don't go into everything but you're like okay, one thing that we can start with is, you know, how do you want to retire Like, that's, it doesn't have to be a loaded question. And I think that's really what we feel so much pressure with finances and those big end goals that it's like, let's pull it back, let's just start where we are, and just get comfortable having those conversations. Because as you do, they're gonna snowball, they're gonna get bigger, you're gonna get more excited about it, you're gonna start seeing those little gains. And that's what your brain wants to have happen, then your brains like, oh, okay, we can talk about this, we can do it. Well, and

I love that you bring up about your brain function, because in truth, you know, when when we have those wins, it's easier on our brain, it will revert back to what it knows, because it's, it's an amazing machine, but it looks for the easiest pathway. So if you can build those habits in, so let's see it let's just say we've got a listener right now, that's like, I'm not talking to anyone about this. I'm not having a conversation, I'm, I'm going to do it alone. And you know, there will be people out there that are going to be that way. What would you recommend for them? those that want to do it alone, that aren't ready to open up? What are a couple things that they could do? What would what would you suggest they look out first.

So I'd say first, where they don't, if they don't want to talk to somebody write it down. So I find a lot of times we have a hard time speaking, what's really heavy. And so if you write it down, and then force yourself to read it out loud, even if you're completely alone, you have that moment of like, okay, like, this is the truth, this is the world that we're dealing with, or you start reading out what your brain tells you the truth, and you're like, Oh, well, actually, it this part isn't as serious as I feel it is. Right. And so I think it gives you a chance to be really honest about what's truly bothering you. So look at that list, and decide one thing, like what resonates biggest with you or what feels like your easy win to start with. So you can go people like one end of the spectrum or the other, right. And then then it's a place that if you want to start looking for a book to read, or you know, you're comfortable talking to somebody about one specific issue, then at least you're starting with one thing, you don't have to tackle everything at once. That would be it would be overwhelming, and it probably wouldn't be very successful. So I think, at least then you've been honest with yourself about what's truly going on. Because with money, it's easy for us to just look at a bank account and say, oh, there's money in a bank account. Everything is okay. And it might be but it might not be where you want it to be. Or you're not digging into the envelopes on the table with the bills that you can't afford or the lifestyle that you can't really finance. And so I think it just gives you that chance to just slow down and be like, okay, where are we really at?

And I love that because oh my gosh, I keep saying that today. I love that because I do I love it. It's amazing. When I think about what really resonated what you were sharing was, so we know money is all about numbers, right? Like, literally the numbers don't lie there either. Right? And they're accurate, or they're, you know, they don't checks and balances. Yeah, but many of us don't remember that money for us as a being is emotional. So how do we feel about the money? what it what are we feeling when we purchase something? Are we living beyond our means most of us are? You know, it's what? How do we live in the lifestyle? And so when you work with somebody, and again, I didn't prepare you with this question, so I hope I'm not putting you on the spot when you work with somebody that is living beyond their means. And they are not sure how to adjust it for fear of feeling like they're giving, they're losing out. Or they're not. They're in a place of, of lack, let's say you know, it's like, I want to live here, but I can only afford here. How do you how do you manage that with somebody? What kind of conversation? What does that look like?

Yeah, so when it's easy in this, when we've got Instagram and all the social media, we see people doing things and having all the toys, it's really easy to get sucked into that lifestyle or to want to be part of it. It really comes down to your values. So I really suggest people slow down and look at it and be like really specific. So top three, what what resonates with you what gets you out of bed every single morning? Because that that's what will motivate you to make changes. So if you don't if you're not clear on those or you're like, Oh, it's my family, and then you keep going, you're probably not digging into it quite enough. So it's like no get really specific about what is your value. So with your family, what do you really value with your family? When you get focused on that, it makes it a bit easier to say like, okay, these other things that I'm going after, don't actually align with what I say my values are. So which of those things are correct? Um, right. So then as soon as you have that out of alignment that you you know, it makes it a little bit easier to go through that credit card. To be like, okay, or the bank statement and say like, what are the expenses that I can't live without? Right? versus what are these expenses that I like, but I still could survive, my values will still be met. And so it makes it a little bit easier again, because money does have so much emotion and feeling behind it. You still have to find those tangibles. And when you have your list of values, and your bank statement, you go, Well, that's not moving me closer to family experiences or travel with my friends, then it's like, Okay, so then let's cut this. And then I think people always forget that if you really truly missed something, you can add it back. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. So get rid of that expense, you know, for three months and see how much you truly miss it? does it impact your life on a daily basis? Or on a social basis? Or is it something that you truly do want back, you can add it back, but you at least have saved three months of that expense, while you test it out and saw where you were right? I think we always forget that, as we make more money, we think we're going to have more, so we're going to have more savings as low as well as a bigger house and a bigger lifestyle. And, and it's not true, like your expenses will always creep up at the same rate as your income, because that's the way our brains work. And so if you start thinking about like, okay, so maybe a few years ago, what was I doing? Was I happy? Okay, then start thinking more in terms of what did I What did I do, then? How did I spend my money and just kind of use it as a chance to rein yourself back in, you don't know what's going on behind that Instagram life. And that's always the big thing that I try to remind people is, you don't know maybe maybe they got an inheritance because somebody passed away, like, what is like a sad reason to now have this extra money, or maybe they're a month away from their business in bankruptcy, right? We have no idea what their story is. And so to want to be like them, or to want to have that facade, it's it's not going to be in alignment with your values. Truly,

honestly, Christian, the Holy smokes. It's so true. And I appreciate and I know those listening, appreciate the reminder of that, because, you know, it's so easy to get caught up in the want. Because of all the exposure. I mean, legit, I was talking about, oh, we were buying a new mattress. And every single, every single device I'm on every single everything is showing me what the best mattresses and I got to have now the best sheets and the best pillows in the best of the best. Come like, I just want a mattress. And I bought it to leave me alone. So I love sharing that concept about really digging into your why and and there is a theme through these i think i think you're going to be Episode 21. So don't quote me guys, if you're listening. There's been a theme over the last 20 episodes about getting really deeply connected to your why behind what you spend your money on. And how often would you recommend that people review where their money goes so that they can really take a temperature of that.

It's really, again, it's dependent on the person but I think at least quarterly you should be doing a check in because it's a good chance as we go through different seasons, we're doing different things, right. So maybe your summers are a lot more expensive, because you're you're out all the time, right? Especially coming out of pandemic we're trying to do some things, but then you recognize that, you know, maybe through the spring you always you quiet down, you get ready you don't spend the same money. So I think it's a really good opportunity to see how your cash flow actually flows throughout the year because it does change with the seasons. Some people want to do it every month. That's like their their monthly, like money meeting. It's like Okay, let's go in, let's review and have that awareness and they they really do need to see the tangibles. Right, some people just have that feeling of like, Okay, last month was a little bit too much fun. I want to kind of rein it in before Christmas, so that I have that, that savings ready to go. And so it really depends on the person but I think at least quarterly you should be looking at it because then you're aware, you have that awareness of what's going on in your in your banking. And I mean, when it comes to your credit cards and things like that, you should be looking at that every statement in terms of if there's any errors on there. You want to point those errors. Can we just capitalize on that for a moment? Yeah, guys,

those that you are listening, check your statements. There are errors all the time. Yeah, it happens. It happens my twin actually. She got charged twice for a she got charge my dinner and her dinner and I got charged my dinner. Right. So it happens just because Well, firstly, we were at the safe table wasn't intentional, but it happens and if we don't know. So, you know, I'm curious what led you to this passion? What brought you here?

Yeah, so it's it's been such an interesting journey. So when my business started three years ago, it was really from a point of, I was recognizing how much my values were to be spending more time with my family. And so that was what kind of shifted me into an entrepreneur mindset. And as it's evolved, it's just been the fact that I've talked to all these amazing people. And as we said earlier, I do focus on women, because that's really who I have gravitated towards. But I do work with all clients. But I'm talking to these amazing people who are doing such cool things. And you know, their parents, they're entrepreneurs, they have full time jobs, part time jobs, they're homeschooling, and they are so shut down about their money. And they're like, Well, I'm not good at math, or I'm not good with money. And those are the first two statements, most people tell me, and they're so shut down, and I'm looking at them going, you are doing so much like, you have to recognize all the value that you bring, and like you're a rock star every single day, so to see people, so shut down, it really, it really broke my heart for people. And so as this business continues to evolve, I just keep coming back to the fact that we don't talk about money, and finances in our homes, we don't talk about it with our friends, we don't do a good job of teaching it in school. And so then we push these kids out into the real world, and they go to school, they might take on a ton of post secondary debt, they might take on general credit card debt, and then we scold them for having debt that didn't actually provide value. Right. And potentially, it sets them up for decades of issues. And so it just keeps coming back to the fact that I want people to have that confidence is like as much as I keep trying to step into like the tangibles as a an accountant, my, like, my deliverables have always been tangible, I could show you exactly what path you're taking and what you're doing. And when it comes to money and coaching, it's there's a lot of intangible in there. And so it's a blend of, of the two things, but it's really, I want people to be financially confident. And that means having, knowing that they can ask questions. And that's been the biggest thing. And even just like talking about it, like, I can feel it, I'm like so jazzed up. But I just everybody deserves to feel that way. Everybody should be allowed to ask about their money. And I think we often work with service providers that are professionals. And people will ask them questions, and they'll say, Oh, don't worry about it. Like, you don't need to know that or ads above, you're not an you're not an accountant or like a tax professional or an insurance agent or whatever. And they'll say, Oh, you don't need to know. And to me, you do need to know because you you're genuinely interested, if you didn't think you needed to know you wouldn't have asked at all. And I think part of that confidence is really recognizing that you're the client in all those relationships. If somebody doesn't want to answer your question and help you learn, that's not the right person for you. Right? If you've gotten shut down for a question, you're not going back to them and say, Hey, you know what, I'm not sleeping at night, I'm really worried about this. You're not going to share that right. And so I think that's, that's the biggest thing in terms of like finding those supports, because I want you to go into your tax accountant, whether it's personally or professionally and be like, Hey, this is what's going on in our life, like, Is there something that we can do? Or how do we manage this? Because even if they don't know, they probably can refer you to someone. Or they can say, Oh, I have other clients that have this kind of issue as well. And so I think it just, every time we are brave enough to ask those questions, our financial confidence, muscles get a little stronger.

So I would just love to recap for everybody that's listening. If you're not gonna talk to someone, talk to yourself out loud, write it down. The other thing is, don't be afraid to ask questions. And super important and exceptionally vital, if you are blown off by the people that you are enlisting to support you in your financial wellness. When you ask a question. They are not the right people. Yeah, you need to be empowered. I love that. You say that? Because the bottom line is if you're asking there's a reason. Yeah, there's a there's a reason you want to know. Oh my goodness. So we're, I can't believe how fast this call goes. So when we think about I would love to know Kristen, if before we go Is there anything Anything you wish I'd asked you about that we should share today? Is there anything you're like, Oh, we should touch on this before we finish up?

Yeah. So I think again, kind of pulling in my, my tangible intangible sides, there was some statistics that came out pre pandemic, and it was saying that it costs a corporation $1,000 per employee every year in terms of lost productivity, because they were worried about their finances. So that means for every employee that you hire, they're sitting at their desk, and they could be like, they could be costing you $1,000 or more in in law lost productivity. And for some people, they're like, okay, that doesn't really affect me. For some people, that's lots of money. For some people, that's no money. But let's think outside of that. So if it's $1,000 a year in lost productivity in your business, think about all those times that you're not an employee. So you're only an employee for eight to 10 hours a day, five days a week. So now what's that impact on your on your overall well being, and on your family and on your relationships, and your community? So I think we have to really look at it in terms of the larger ripple effect that it has. Because we're not taking control of our finances and making sure that we financially feel well. And that just continues to leak into everything else that

we do. So when someone's looking for somebody like you, what are a couple of the things that they should, obviously you guys, I'm going to put Kristen's contact information in the show notes, do not worry. If you are loving what she's sharing, you will be able to find her having said that, if Kristin, if people are drawn to work with someone else, what would be the couple of things that they should look for when they're obviously someone that's going to answer questions, but is there a couple other things you'd recommend?

Yeah, so anytime that you're talking to any kind of financial professional, so whether it be accountants, tax accountants, insurance coaches, you're, wanting to get a call with them. So to me, if you can do it in person, or at least virtually face to face, I think it's really important because a phone call is fine. But when you can actually look at somebody and you see, are they paying attention to me? Are we truly having this conversation? Are they multitasking, that's that's a huge first red flag. And I think it gives you an opportunity to really follow your gut. So if you have a call with somebody, it doesn't need to be long, it can be 1015 minutes, introduce yourself, tell them why you're looking for this type of professional, and then ask them a bit about themselves and how they operate. And so in those few minutes, you'll start to get that sense of whether whether you really enjoy how they act and how they respond. And then you can ask them easy questions. And when I say easy questions, think about things that are specific to your own financial needs. But they're not so specific in terms of yes or no. So just something in terms of Have you worked with other clients? How do you how do you approach clients that are in their mid 20s, but wanting to start thinking about retirement? So ask about something that can be specific to your scenario, but isn't so specific that you feel like you didn't get financial advice? Leaving it? Right, right, they may not give you advice in that moment, they may, but they may not. And so it's really just a chance to go through and have that conversation. And I really do suggest talk to two or three people, right? Then it gives you a chance to kind of go through and say, Oh, this person provided a ton of value to me without me even having to dive really into it. Versus maybe this person gave me specific answers, but they didn't elaborate. And just depending how you operate, you'll know which of those people resonates better with you. And that I think is going to be the most important thing. You need to feel safe in the relationship, especially when you're talking about such a vulnerable topic. And I'm going to invite anybody that's listening that isn't dealing with their finances to realize and and consider it a vulnerable topic, right? denial is usually because it's vulnerable. I've been there, I'm living in a glass house.

So you know, this is a beautiful leaving you guys. You know, Kristen is giving you guys a 30 minute money coaching call. If you really want to dream big and face your limiting beliefs. So you can contact her through her social social media platforms, which will be posted in the show notes as well as her website. So just know that you'll be able to find her and take her up on that. Because if this resonated with you, she might be the person that can help you through that. And if not, at least get you started on the right foot, which would be great. Kristen, thank you so much for being here and sharing your love and wisdom of finance, and champion people through financial wellness.

Yeah, thank you so much, Jenny.