EP20: Mastering Your Habits With Jessica Derksen

This is winning with wellness, a podcast about inspiring the wellness warrior in you. If you're feeling lost or alone in your wellness journey, or looking for new ideas and inspiration, you are in the right place, a place you can learn about all things wellness, in business life and living. Your host, Jenny rice, we'll be bringing you inspiring stories and practical tools to improve your overall wellness, personally and professionally. Imagine what living a life of wellness would be like. Thank you for joining us today.

Welcome everyone to another episode of winning with wellness, I am blessed to be here with Jessica Dirksen. And we are so excited to dig into our deep conversation around habits. Jessica, welcome. Hi, Jenny. I'm so excited to be here. I'm thrilled to have you. And I'm just going to share with the audience a little bit about you and your background. And then let's get to it. How's that sound? Sounds great. Awesome. So Jessica is the founder of true to you lifestyle where she is a certified health and life coach, Speaker facilitator, mentor to women in business and host of the true to you podcast. So make sure you guys check that out. Jessica focuses on mastering your habits, finding your purpose and living a life that you love. While feeling incredible from the inside out. Her motto is if you want a different ending tell a different story. Amen to that. So tell me Actually, I would love to know what does that mean to you? Because some people are like, Oh, sure. It's that sounds so easy and simple. Do you want to elaborate on that

a little bit more on if you want a different ending to a different story. So if you are I we are our thoughts, we are what we think and if we're always thinking about stuff, we're not having an area of our life, we need to start telling a different story inside of ourselves. Right? So it's a huge mindset piece. If you're not happy with the direction you're headed. When you get to change, then you get to you get to change the narrative, change the story to live a different life and to go into the direction that you that you want to go. You know, it's easier to say it but there are tools to help you do it. Oh my gosh, isn't that I?

I love because I've literally had to go back to the basics with myself after taking over your holistic Earth. Because big shift in lives, you know, we tend to revert back to old habits. And we're going to dig into habit building and those conversations. So it's it's one of these things that we constantly revisit, even though we think oh, I should know this by now I I've done this 1000 times. But again, it's it's just dusting off and keeping the practice in. So Danny, oh my gosh, it's such a journey. as we

evolve. Our mindset has to evolve with it right? As we're changing, we need to change that mindset.

mindset, just a powerful thing. And so when you think of wellness, because I love to always kind of start out the podcasts because really we're here to help people redefine wellness, and see, see wellness from a place of the gray area, many of us were raised to believe that we're there well, or we were sick, we weren't you know, there was not that middle where we live. You know. So when we think about the gray area or that redefining wellness, when you think about what you do in the craft that you you know, being somebody that helps, you know, focus on mindset and habit building and what would you suggest would be some really great tools for people are really stepping into wellness. Yeah,

so for me, wellness is really about a feeling. So how do I feel? How does certain activities make me feel? How does food make me feel things I'm consuming and how does what I'm watching make me feel. So to me, wellness is really about a feeling. For a long time, it was a bit of number on a scale. It was about you know, barely eating to get to that number like everything was so obsessive, almost around a number and a way I looked and going through my own journey and transformation really, really come into this understanding about the health and wellness to me is how I feel inside. So that's really connecting to my body. So really understanding and so I did a lot I still do a lot of journaling and so a big piece of wellness is journal your food and it's not journaling and to count calories. It's how does certain foods make you feel? Because we live in this world where we think it's normal to have heartburn all the time and indigestion and to feel bloated. But that's your body like saying Hey, stop eating this food. I don't like it like why I can just take a pill for that. Well, what are those pills really doing to you internally? How are they really making you feel? So? For me, it's about what am I doing? And how does it make me feel? What am I doing? Is it giving me energy, I love to be energized all day long. So it's really really, to me wellness is about a feeling. So tools and tips that I do this, I do four things every day. I do more than that. But these are the four things I always have people start with number one, practice gratitude really start with that mindset piece of coming from this grateful state. And journaling Your food is the second piece of writing, what are you eating? How does it make you feel? And not just you know, am I bloated? But do you feel energized? How full did it keep you forever? How many hours were you full? re energized? emotionally? How did it affect you because food affects our emotions. The third one is to drink water. So drinking a lot of water. And then the fourth one is movement, the moving your body, you know, 30 minutes a day. And it doesn't have to be like going crazy and pumping iron at the gym. But do what you love. Do you like to dance Okay, go dance, you like to go walk out in nature, go walk, just find what you love and do more of that to get that movement. So those are like the four main things I like to focus on when I first start working with somewhere when I first start just talking to someone about wellness.

Okay, so I'm going to be the, the troubled client, let's say, I don't have time. You know, so when when you when you work with somebody, or in your own personal experience, wh at did you find were the biggest roadblocks to step into those four beautiful habits that you've created.

your mindset, right? I don't have time. The state Yeah, they're like, this just takes up too much of my time. It's too much work. I don't want to do it. I'll never succeed. All mindset, you know, paradigms that we've created for so long. So I think a really important way to get over that is to first figure out why so what are your actual health goals? Right? What is the ultimate goal you want? What are they working with me

or any other coach or if it's fitness, weight, loss, energy, whatever it is, what's your end goal? And why? And real? Why? I've used this example, often when I first started working with clients, oftentimes women would come to me and be like, I want to lose, you know, 50 pounds. Okay, well, why? Well, I want to look into my bikini, I want to fit into my old skinny jeans. Okay, well, why is that important to you? And I ask the question, why in so many different ways, for probably like 20 minutes until I get to their true why and so many times, it's, you know, I want to feel I want to improve my sex life, I want to feel like my husband or my partner is attracted to me like they used to be, right, I want that confidence to go after the the job promotion. So it's much deeper, why then, oh, I want to look good in a bikini. And I think when we have this idea of Oh, I want to look good in a bikini or fit into this clothing, that why isn't strong enough to keep us connected to the goal. And that's why the time gets in our way, right? It's too hard. The paradigms can really affect us, but when you can understand or why and find an anchor for it. So like anchor that into your life. Okay, maybe it's a picture, maybe it's a piece of jewelry that every time you see it, it's like that, that accountability that connects you to your why and you're like, Oh, yeah, this is why I'm doing it. Okay, I'll take the two minutes, I just journal my food, right? So I think we need to know why we really want these goals. And sometimes we when you do that, we realize this isn't what I want. This is maybe what I've been told I've wanted for so long. So getting that clarity, what's important and why?

Well, and I love that you share that. Because of course, you and I have similar work paths. And when I work with my clients, and we dig into the why we end up it's their goal isn't really what their goal is. Yeah, yeah, you find that all of a sudden, you're striving for something that you actually doesn't serve you in the least. And it's not important to thank you for bringing that up. Because I really feel that's going to resonate with a lot of people is surface goals or surface wise don't keep you in the heat. Keep you when it'll motivate you long enough. Oh, no. And we were talking about this actually, I was talking about this with with my last podcast guests and I did an episode Episode 17 talking about habits and I and I'm sure you're going to champion this concept as well. We do know that when it becomes a habit we don't need to be motivated anymore. Takes it gives us that freedom of energy. So knowing that we want to talk about habits and knowing that you love habits Tell me why habits are important to wellness.

I have a lot I think habits are important for everything. First of all what you said right when something becomes a habit, we no longer have to think about it. So it doesn't take our energy we just do it and and I'm someone who loves to feel energized. So the more hacks I can create in my own life to have more energy, the better I feel the more I want in on that So I think habits are important for wellness to keep us feeling good to keep us feeling healthy to live a life where we aren't just struggling through the days, but we actually feel really good from the inside out, going back to that feeling of wellness is how you feel. But we want to if we want to feel good, we need to create positive habits that align with that feeling. And so habits help us in every area of our life, whether it's wellness, finances, you know, anything, I think habits are just such a powerful,

powerful tools to use to our advantage. And they really only work one of two ways our habits are either working for us, or they're working against us. So really getting crystal clear on what it is you want. And how do I create patterns that align with that? You know, I'm a firm believer, and I say this all the time habits actually equal freedom. And when you say that to somebody that hasn't gone through this conversation, maybe or haven't heard this concept, they hope to you like you're crazy. But in truth, they create so much freedom, it's a really powerful thing. So I love digging in with people that really step in their wellness, and we have gone through the journey, right? So you know, you shared wasn't always this way. So when you think about the pre transition or stepping into your wellness and being strong and an advocate for for wellness for others as well within your career path. What do you wish? What's one thing you would have told yourself and knowing who you are now knowing what you know, now, what would you have shared with your past self?

Oh, there's I think there's so many. Okay, what was the first one that popped up? The first one would probably be and would be gratitude. For me. Gratitude was a huge game changer in my mental health, my emotional health. And that played a big role in me really understanding parts of me before but also really being thankful for what what I'm aware of that I have, and how to grow on that. So I know, I don't know, if when people hear gratitude, they might not always, you know, relate that to wellness. But for me, it was a really, really big part of my journey, for sure. What else? Yeah, what I tell myself, you know, starting to do that earlier, Oh, my gosh, what else would I tell myself, your life goes like this. So, you know, you might think you're doing really, really good and your health journey and your wellness, and then all of a sudden you go back like 10 steps behind. And and that it's okay, you get to make that choice to keep moving forward. I think that people always expect life and growth rate to just go in one direction, everything goes up, which isn't real. It's not. It doesn't happen. And so yeah, you might have these habits that you've created. And then an unexpected life event happens. And you find yourself going back into old patterns and old habits, which I happen for myself at some point as well. But having that awareness of like, Hey, this is okay, I have the choice to go back to what I want. I get to make that decision. It would be really powerful. Definitely, I would tell myself that you have you get to make your own choices. Hmm.

I love that. And I think that's one of the things that we really want to champion here. And we do on this podcast is reminding ourselves, we have choice. And we live in a day and age where it whatever suits you. It's just creating that understanding and awareness. So when you think of all the modalities out there, what when it comes to wellness and supporting yourself? What are some of your favorite practices? What do you what do you like these or I have to do these these, these are the things so we talked about your your fours in reference to habit, but you know, when we think of other tools and options out there, what are some of your this is like a non negotiable.

Yeah, so, um, I want to say yoga, I don't really go to a yoga studio anymore. But I've been doing a lot of it at home, there's tons of, you know, online kind of stuff that you can use. So I've been really big into not even just yoga but really stretching. So I do a lot of weight training, heavy cardio. And so really taking that time for mindful yoga practice. mindful stretching is really, really huge. For me. Another important piece is a visualization practice. So I do like 10 minutes, every single day of dedicated visualization. I don't really, I guess this is my form of meditation. But I you know, I close my eyes, I set my timer, and I'm visualizing some of my big goals. And so if one of your big goals relates to your wellness and your health, this is a really powerful tool because you're visualizing as if you're living that life, you're visualizing that it's already yours. And the more you do it, the more you take action aligned with that wellness journey and aligned with your health journey. And so visualization is huge. More mindfulness, meditate one, yoga, stretching type things are really, really important for me. And then again, just paying attention to what I'm consuming, and how it's making me feel is really powerful.

You know, and I've shared this on other episodes. We hear the term we are what we eat, but we forget, we are everything that we consume. Everything that we consume, whether it's, you know, what we're watching on TV, what we're listening to what we're putting in our mouths, what we're closing ourselves, and we are literally everything that we are, you know, consuming. So thank you for sharing that forward. We're, I can't believe how fast his time is going our time together is like on on like, super hyperspeed. I swear. Let's dig into really quickly. I you know, we keep talking about habits, when when somebody has a habit, let's say or they want to create a new one, what are some steps that you recommend to help set them up to when to start implementing a new? So we talked about the why digging into the deepness of the why and understanding? Is there some

time well, stuff that they should be I mean, knowing First of all, knowing what it is you want, right? Because then you're you want to create habits that align with that goal. If you have have doing an inventory of your current habits, so what's not working for you? Okay, well, you can't Oh, you can't really stop a habit, right? You need to replace it. So what do you want to fill that in? With? What would you love instead and start working on that habit? Um, I've read a ton of different books on habit. And I think it was the Power of Habit, Charles duhigg. And he talks about a habit is, you know, the cue, the action and the reward. So really understanding what is your What are your cues? So what is it that's causing you to take this habit or this action that you no longer want to take? Right? So getting really crystal clear? Is there any way you can kind of change that? If it's your environment? Can you leave that environment? If it's a time of day, like some some of them are harder to change? So then looking at those action and writing a list, well, what could you be doing instead of the one that you're doing is a really powerful way to say, Okay, so next time I'm queued for this, you need that awareness, right? To really be able to stop yourself and say, Okay, I have this cue, maybe I want to go binge eat. So instead of, I'm going to check my list of going for a walk or calling a friend, or taking a bath, or whatever it is, you wrote on your list and picking that action instead. And every time you do it, it becomes a new habit, you're creating that new habit. So it takes work, it takes a lot of awareness and practice, but really getting clear on what are your current habits and what's not serving you What would you like to revamp? And how can you do that? What action would you like to take instead, and writing it out, there's so much power when you have a written note. So you can refer to your notes, right, you can go back and you see it. But really, and then following through and celebrate the win every time you take that, that action that's aligned with the new goal you want. Celebrate yourself and I don't mean celebrate, you know, you have to bake a cake and eat, you know, I just mean like, give yourself a high five and you know, go in the mirror High Five herself or pat yourself on the back. I really like take it honor yourself and be like, Oh, I did this, I'm on this journey of creating this new habit. And I know I can create this change. So I think that celebration pieces really powerful to

Oh, I'm really thrilled that you brought that up because celebration is the whole point. Right, we need to acknowledge the wins. And I I share that with full transparency, I am tunnel vision Queen sometimes. It's like, take off the list keep going. So I am chronic for not celebrating the wins along the way. And then you missing part of the ride. You know, so the whole point is, yeah,

I think it's a power like important to not just to focus on that end result. It's all about the journey of it. So having fun, and let like loving your life if you don't love the journey or not loving your life. And that's why you can say what you want. But the habits that you pick to get there are things that you must that you want to be doing.

Yeah, and what's so interesting is we we lose sight of that the journey is preparing us to be who we need to be when we get to the end result or the tick in the box or those kinds of things. So, you know, we've heard this before but the truth is, it's about the journey it legit

100% because what happens when you get to that destination you're growing you're not you don't just stop growing. Now there's something new and you're gonna grow into and work towards so it's always about the journey. Yeah, always. Yeah, it's,

it's so interesting sometimes that we forget to take that pause, you know, and really step into that. So as we well on down our time, is there any question, you know, Jessica, that you wish maybe I had asked that I haven't asked yet. That's a heavy one. I know if I'm like, No, it's fine.

Oh, I guess you know, just about an important question. I think two people I get asked often about habits as well, what if you fall off track and so and I think if you read the book, atomic habits, he dives deeper into this, but really having that mindset of, okay, you know, I missed one workout or I miss one day of taking my vitamins or whatever it is. That's, that's just one day, that's one Miss. It's all good. You get to make that choice to get back on the next day. But if you do, too, that's a creation of a new habit of not doing that and not following through. So keeping that in mind of you know, Miss A, once it's all good, but to have that awareness and make that decision to keep to do it the next time to not miss twice.

And be kind to yourself, be gracious, when you fall off. It's okay.

The more you judge yourself, the harder it is to get back on track, right. So just this happened, it's cool, no big deal. I have to decide what happens next.