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As you will hear, Mary Beth Schrudder, our guest this time, took her first drink of alcohol at the age of 11. As she tells us, she liked it and continued drinking for over 30 years. She was, she says, a pretty happy drunk, but it took time for her to realize that after the drinking the coming down process was not so good. Even so, she continued to drink During her life she has learned about many addictions. In her nearly 50 years she has discovered that additions can be overcome, but the job is not easy. Along the way she heard about life coaching and began to learn about it. However, it was not until six years ago that she decided to make life coaching her business by forming One Life Coaching. She specializes in teaching and coaching about the value of the Law of Attraction. She will describe in detail the law for us. Some four and a half years ago she decided to stop drinking and has not tasted a drop ever since. Her story is fascinating and as you will see, she is quite unstoppable. About the Guest: Mary Beth Schrudder is a Spiritual and Transformational Life Coach. She is founder of Day One Life Coaching, author of Addiction Recovery with the Law of Attraction, and the host of the “Spiritual Transformation Podcast with Mary Beth”. Mary Beth will help you heal addictions and transform relationships, including your relationship with yourself. Her approach is holistic, and her areas of expertise include relationships, marriage, divorce, mindset, happiness, freedom from addictions, optimal fitness, life purpose, and career. As a professional Life Coach with years of experience, Mary Beth’s life-changing coaching will help you step outside of your comfort zone, and together you will create extraordinary results using innovative techniques. You may e-mail Mary Beth to schedule a complimentary discovery call at marybeth@dayonelifecoaching.com Mary Beth’s social media links may be found here: LinkTree: https://linktr.ee/DayOneLifeCoaching Ways to connect with Mary Beth: https://www.dayonelifecoaching.com/ https://www.instagram.com/day_one_life_coaching/ https://youtube.com/channel/UCuM89d8W4S7iTGJNmkV83xQ https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdSLAwb2/ https://www.facebook.com/DayOneIsToday https://www.facebook.com/marybeth.schrudder www.linkedin.com/in/mary-beth-schrudder-999614b YouTube.com/@DayOneLifeCoaching http://YouTube.com/@DayOneLifeCoaching?sub_confirmation=1 LinkTree https://linktr.ee/DayOneLifeCoaching About the Host: Michael Hingson is a New York Times best-selling author, international lecturer, and Chief Vision Officer for accessiBe. Michael, blind since birth, survived the 9/11 attacks with the help of his guide dog Roselle. This story is the subject of his best-selling book, Thunder Dog. Michael gives over 100 presentations around the world each year speaking to influential groups such as Exxon Mobile, AT&T, Federal Express, Scripps College, Rutgers University, Children’s Hospital, and the American Red Cross just to name a few. He is Ambassador for the National Braille Literacy Campaign for the National Federation of the Blind and also serves as Ambassador for the American Humane Association’s 2012 Hero Dog Awards. https://michaelhingson.com https://www.facebook.com/michael.hingson.author.speaker/ https://twitter.com/mhingson https://www.youtube.com/user/mhingson https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelhingson/ accessiBe Links https://accessibe.com/ https://www.youtube.com/c/accessiBe https://www.linkedin.com/company/accessibe/mycompany/ https://www.facebook.com/accessibe/ Thanks for listening! Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below! Subscribe to the podcast If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher. You can subscribe in your favorite podcast app. You can also support our podcast through our tip jar https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/unstoppable-mindset . Leave us an Apple Podcasts review Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts. Transcription Notes: Michael Hingson ** 00:00 Access Cast and accessiBe Initiative presents Unstoppable Mindset. The podcast where inclusion, diversity and the unexpected meet. Hi, I'm Michael Hingson, Chief Vision Officer for accessiBe and the author of the number one New York Times bestselling book, Thunder dog, the story of a blind man, his guide dog and the triumph of trust. Thanks for joining me on my podcast as we explore our own blinding fears of inclusion unacceptance and our resistance to change. We will discover the idea that no matter the situation, or the people we encounter, our own fears, and prejudices often are our strongest barriers to moving forward. The unstoppable mindset podcast is sponsored by accessiBe, that's a c c e s s i capital B e. Visit www.accessibe.com to learn how you can make your website accessible for persons with disabilities. And to help make the internet fully inclusive by the year 2025. Glad you dropped by we're happy to meet you and to have you here with us. Michael Hingson ** 01:21 Well, hi everyone, and welcome to another edition of unstoppable mindset. Today, our guest is Mary Beth Schrudder, who is a life coach. She will talk to us about addiction. I'm interested in that, and she's going to talk to us about how the law of attraction gets involved in what she does, and that I want to talk about, among other things, because we hear a lot about the law of attraction, but I don't know how many people really understand what it is, so we'll get to all that as we go forward. But Mary Beth, I want to welcome you to unstoppable mindset, and thank you for being here. Mary Beth Schrudder, ** 01:55 Thank you so much for sending me the invitation. Nice thing. Michael Hingson ** 02:00 Well, I'm glad you're here, and it's a lot of fun. And as I've told people, especially lately, the only rule on the podcast is we both have to have fun. So you got to have fun, otherwise it's not fun to do Mary Beth Schrudder, ** 02:11 got it? Well, I can do that for sure. There Michael Hingson ** 02:13 you go. Well, tell me a little about the early Mary Beth growing up and all that sort of stuff. Let's start with that. Mary Beth Schrudder, ** 02:19 Oh gosh. Well, early Mary Beth, so it turns out that I have a little bit of something called an addictive personality, which led to me, actually, I had my first drink of alcohol at 11 years old, and I was with some friends. And you know, we all did and kind of snuck it, of course, this wasn't given to us by grown ups or anything, but I just remember thinking, oh my gosh, this is the answer to all my problems, because I had social anxiety, and I didn't really realize how bad it was until I had that relief from my first drink of alcohol. It just felt like this was the answer. I'd never felt such relief before. And that's a that's a sign, you know, that's a sign for anyone who's listening here, when you that that's like a big red flag for this person's probably going to learn the bad way how to self medicate using a toxin, which I don't drink alcohol anymore. I'm completely sober, but I had a, you know, a 30 plus year career of unhealthy relationship. I don't like to say I'm an alcoholic, but I had a very unhealthy relationship with alcohol for decades. And you know, I just about four and a half years ago. Now, a little over four and a half years ago, I just decided, you know, that this was just, I knew too much about, like you mentioned earlier, I knew too much about the law of attraction. I taught people law of attraction. I was already a life coach, and I, you guys, I never had a rock bottom. You don't have to have a rock bottom if you just know something is not good for you. Something is not serving you anymore. I was running two businesses, so this wasn't someone I'm not a person who was dysfunctional, and I always had this sneaking suspicion that when I quit drinking, I was really going to that's, you know, that's when my life was really going to take off even more so than than it was. And sure enough, that's what happened. Like I am so much happier. I feel I'm capable of feeling so much more joy. And you know, when we numb our feelings with this something like a substance like alcohol, or it could be drugs, or it could just be other addictions, like watching, binging Netflix or something, you know, we're still numbing out, you know. Or we could be using relationships as an addiction. CO dependency is real. Most of my clients with addiction, it's actually an addiction to another person, not even a substance. So like, that's the number one thing. That I run across anyway, in my in my practice. But you know, we when we numb our feelings, we were actually numbing all of them, even the good ones too. So like I knew that I would be like your podcast is called unstoppable once I finally kicked these addictions, and I also had a food addiction. Food is huge, by the way, I have a lot of clients who come to me for food addiction. I was so much a sugar addict, and I didn't realize how much that was affecting my mental health. And it sounds crazy, but sugar really does create anxiety and even depression. For some people, our diet, our diet is huge. Like, I didn't know all the connections mentally and physically that sugar addiction and food addiction in general could create. Michael Hingson ** 05:53 I guess it's a good thing that I watch my chocolate intake. Then Mary Beth Schrudder, ** 06:00 what do you mean by watching it? You're just watching yourself eat it or No, Michael Hingson ** 06:03 I like chocolate a lot, but I've never just sat in and eaten a lot of chocolate. But it's fun to tease about chocolate, of course. But oh, my Mary Beth Schrudder, ** 06:14 mom called herself a chocoholic. And yeah, I got her I got her sweet tooth, for sure, for sure, I Michael Hingson ** 06:21 like chocolate, but not that much. And you know, for me, and I know this isn't about me, but strangely, I never liked the taste of alcohol, and I didn't even have my first drink of it until, oh, how old was? I had to be 24 or 25 but I, I've seen and I saw people who overindulged. I had a roommate who drank three large glasses and over one night, and with each glass, the first one was half vodka and half orange juice, the second was three quarters vodka and the third was Trey vodka. That was horrible. I mean, my other roommate and I had to be with him all night. But it sort of convinced me I'm not interested in any of that, and I've never experimented with any of that, but, but, but I do have to say that there's nothing wrong with a little bit of chocolate now and then. Mary Beth Schrudder, ** 07:10 Yeah, no, that cringe with that story, because it just gives me some flashbacks, you know. And everything was red wine, you know. And so something I would like to say is that, you know, it's it's hard to tell when you have an addiction, when everyone you're around is drinking the same amount for more in our society, alcohol is so accepted like that. Now I'm the strange one for not drinking like people or look at me, like, like, the oddball for, for choosing not to partake, right? And so, but it was more acceptable when I was drinking every day, you know, and when I say that, that's like, you know, a couple glasses of wine at dinner or whatever. But like, it really starts to affect you. And you know, it wouldn't always, I wouldn't always stop it too. I had a problem with moderation in general, and that's what I mean by my addictive personality, like, so I don't have a stop button. I'm unstoppable. So I would just like, you know, start, start drinking a couple glasses, and it's so easy. And I know this is so relatable to so many people, because of my clients and because of my friends, and just being alive in general, how easy it is to have a bottle of wine with you're just sitting there talking to somebody. Next thing you know, the bottle's gone. Oh, well, let's order another one. You know this, this isn't like, I'm not talking about that type of person who's drinking alcohol out of a paper bag under a bridge. I'm talking about something that happens to you know, to everyone I know, you know, and then the next day really sucks. Your night of sleep really sucks, because alcohol affects your sleep cycle like you do not. You do not get the same level of quality, not the quality of sleep and and actually, Michael, that is my first that was my first way I figured out, like I thought I had insomnia and I knew I was like kind of generalized anxiety, but when I was reading about I was getting certified in addiction recovery, not thinking I had any addictions, of course, and by the way, everyone tells me, well, I don't have any addictions. No one thinks they have addictions. But I don't think they realize what addictions are. To be honest, that's another thing that I help people understand is, you know, our little cell phones, those are addictions. You know, we all like the scrolling. We can be addicted to validating. You know, how many people liked my post? How many people, you know, commented things like that, like I mentioned earlier, just Netflix. And there's so many things. There's gambling, and Michael Hingson ** 09:46 I remember many years ago when we still had blackberries as a device, and one of the things that happened was one night, the whole. BlackBerry system went down. Was, I think, the first time it went down. It was late at night, but it was down for about 12 hours, and I heard the next day that there were even people who were so addicted to their blackberries and they were so panicked that they committed suicide. 10:19 Are you kidding me? Not Michael Hingson ** 10:21 kidding you. I heard I saw it on the news, and it's just amazing. People do get so locked into to things. But I know what you're saying about people just being so locked into texts and and all that. And for me again, Mary Beth Schrudder, ** 10:38 and I had to get through that too, like I have to literally, sometimes put my phone in a different room, because I have the thing where I feel like I need to respond to people right away. And so it's like you don't have to do that, you know, we can relax. And so it's something that we coach ourselves every day. If you have that type of personality, it's not like you get to graduate ever and be like, Okay, I'm done. Be having addictive personality. No, this is daily work, and that's why people, I think, go to AA and things like that, because it keeps renewing the the whole reason why they decided to abstain from something to begin with. Michael Hingson ** 11:13 Why is it that people have become so addicted, let's say to alcohol. Why is it that that is so popular? Is it just the numbing? Or exactly, what is it that that brings people to that? Mary Beth Schrudder, ** 11:27 Now, that's a really good question. Yeah, absolutely, the numbing. I most people that I talk to, the habit forms over time because of, like, the same reason that I, you know, ended up having the habit was social anxiety. Social Anxiety is huge, you know, just being around people and just being a little bit anxious, and it's an interesting thing. But I also think, yeah, the numbing out. I think escaping your reality, maybe you just have, you know, so many things going on that you don't like in your life, and it's just people are usually seeking relief, and then there's also a huge number of people who get into drinking to forget things. So this could be like a trauma. Maybe they had a traumatic, traumatic childhood. Trauma is a huge reason for any type of addiction. It's a distraction from things you don't want to think about. You know, you can kind of escape that and forget, like a lot of people you'll see start drinking a lot after a breakup, things like that. Just it really helps them escape reality and helps them not think about things from their past that they really are trying to stuff down and suppress. And that the problem with that is that we don't actually get rid of those things. When we suppress our feelings, they are still there. And, you know, no amount of denial gets rid of them. The way to really work on yourself and transform and become the person that you want to be the to become the unstoppable person would be to actually get to that, you know, deal with your feelings instead of suppressing them, talk to somebody about them and work through them. And because when we hold our feelings in, it causes all sorts of issues, because they're still always there. And when you see people get triggered, like, you know, people who are easily triggered, and they just, like, go off on you for like, it seems like no apparent reason. It seems like they're like, maybe overreacting. Those knee jerk reactions are basically things that they haven't dealt with. They're indicators of parts of themselves that they have not yet taken the time to heal, right? And so that's when people get triggered. That's their indicators. Michael Hingson ** 13:36 But we don't encourage people to talk about their feelings very much. Oh, that's you got to be tougher than that. You don't want to talk about your feelings. You don't want to share your feelings, especially Mary Beth Schrudder, ** 13:47 men like, society has done such a disservice to men, you know, like, you know, just suck it up and, yeah, almost making it like it's embarrassing if you share your feelings. And to me, I have opposite belief, and this is what I would teach everyone. And I have a lot of male clients, too, who I'm so glad that they're able to feel like they can be vulnerable with me, because vulnerability is strength, pretending that you don't have feelings. That's to me, that's the weak way to be, you know, to me, if I was going to talk about a real man, a real man is, you know, honest, and shares his feelings and doesn't feel ashamed to be vulnerable, because we need to share this. And it's really not healthy in any way, shape or form, to pretend like everything's okay when it's not and it's good to reach out for help. Michael Hingson ** 14:36 You talked about being addictive to another person. Tell me more about what that is. Mary Beth Schrudder, ** 14:41 So everything that I coach in my practice is stuff that I've been through personally. You know, I have all the education, all these certifications, but I gotta be honest, my life experience has been the best teacher, and I have had surprise. Eyes, right, right, right, right. I couldn't imagine being like in my 20s. I turned 50. I turned 50 this year in September, and I just could not imagine being in my 20s, or even my 30s, and being any good at being a life coach. You know, to be a good life coach, you really have to have experience and and if you're seeking somebody out, you guys, whoever you decide, to look for, for help make sure they have experience, personal experience, and exactly whatever you're trying to level up on. So to answer your question, co dependency, a lot of us, we end up in toxic relationships and CO dependent relationships, because a lot of it's just programming, like from our childhood. It might be like a parent, things that we experienced as childhood. You know, some of us might turn into people pleasers, because possibly, you know, this isn't everybody, but I was definitely used to be a people pleaser, where I was afraid that, you know, that I wasn't going to be wanted, so I made sure that I was needed, if that makes sense. So like, when you I was a middle child, you know, I didn't get a lot of attention. I had an older sister or younger brother, so I went for the negative attention, but also to when, when with other people, with my parents, I would go for negative attention. More than anything, I was in trouble a lot. Okay, we'll put it, but with other people, I wanted them to like me, so I I would just kind of go overboard and overcompensate and make sure that they needed me. And I would people pleasing. Seems like it's really nice, but the reality is, is, when you're a people pleaser, you're not being your true, authentic self, because what you're doing is you're just telling people whatever they want to hear. Okay, you're not, you know, like and let's say that they ask you for a favor, and you're like, sure, and you do it, but you secretly resent doing it, but you do it anyway, because you want to please them. You want them to like you, you're abandoning yourself, but you're also not really being because too nice, because you're you're you're resenting that person for for even asking you to do them a favor, and it's just not being authentic. It's better just to have healthy boundaries, and I've learned how to do this over time. But when you are a people pleaser, you do end up, you easily can end up in a toxic relationship with a co dependent type, relationship with someone who's going to take advantage of the people pleasing. And you know, you get a lot of that, the toxic cycle. It's very typical to if you're someone who's like, very empathetic, like you feel other people's feelings. You care about what people think. It's very easy to end up with someone who might be more like of a narcissist and self serving, they make a very great co dependent, toxic relationship together, and the narcissist can can find that Empath, you know, people pleaser quote, unquote, nice person. They can they can find smell you from miles away, basically, because you're very easy to take advantage of for them. Michael Hingson ** 18:10 Now, you have a family today, right? Mary Beth Schrudder, ** 18:14 So I'm divorced for a long time now, but I and I have a son, and he's turned 21 next month, so I'm, oh my gosh, blows my mind. Yeah, he's about to and a year he graduates from college, Michael Hingson ** 18:27 wow. What's his major? Mary Beth Schrudder, ** 18:29 It's business. It's called. It's like, gosh, I always forget what it is. It's a new name for Human Resources type thing. But it's, it's business, it's, it's something to do with. It. It's like human resources, but they have a new name for it. I'm sorry, like, I can't believe you forgot again. Mom forgot again. Michael Hingson ** 18:50 If you listen to this, you're going to hear about Mary Beth Schrudder, ** 18:52 it. It'll come to me. It'll come to me. It might come to me at 3am but I'll remember. So Michael Hingson ** 18:56 how did working with him and interacting with him and growing up with addictions and so on. How did all that go and how did you deal with all that? You Mary Beth Schrudder, ** 19:07 know, that's a excellent question, and I'm glad you asked, because I have a lot to say around that with so my son watched me drinking, you know, he saw my personality change, and something about me is I'm I am very authentic, and I keep things real, even with my son. And when you know, I would tell him, like, let's say that I had, I would get anxiety when I drank. So a lot of people don't realize that if you already have a tendency to be an anxious type, General, generalized anxiety person, like, I like, it's kind of like my nervous system is just built that way, and drinking alcohol is like pouring gasoline on anxiety. It is awful. So when I would drink even two glasses of wine, I would wake up in the middle of the night, um, feeling extra like anxious. And the their scientific reason for that is because your. Um, your body, this is on purpose. It's doing its job by creating stimulants to counteract the depressants. Alcohol is a depressant. So then you you create all these stimulants, and then that alcohol wears off, and all you're left with is feeling all the stimulants that your body created. And that causes anxiety. And we call it the next day. We call it hang anxiety, when you still feel that, all that anxiety the next day through a hangover. And my son, I was very honest with him. I would tell him, you know, Spencer, I know that. You know, you saw me, it looks like we're having fun. I'm with my friends. We're having fun. You know, you're here. He's, you know, with me, witnessing us drinking together. And I would be honest. I was like, it is not worth it like so I always say you could teach your kids in a couple of ways, either by being a good example or by being a horrible warning. And I feel like I did the latter, and it works like he has not drank anything. He doesn't want to drink alcohol, because I've always was honest with him, and that of you know, yes, it looks like I'm having fun. That fun is so temporary, and it's not worth the trade off. It. It's not worth lowering your vibration, you know, like the law of attraction stuff. It, it takes you, it actually destroys your, your whole not only your next day, but you're not really back to normal. Alcohol can stay in your system for three days. And why was it I was in the vicious cycle of, well, I don't want to feel this horrible feeling, so I'm just going to have another drink. And once you realize the hair of the dog, that bit you actually works, it's a horrible cycle, because then you can just go, Okay, well, I'm going to have a drink in the morning. And you could see how that could be really, really bad if you don't have a stop button, like me, then you're then your day drinking, you know, and it's just just a nightmare. It was just a total nightmare. And my son was very aware of my addiction, and he was just, honestly, just would never, well, I'm not gonna say he would never drink. He turns 21 next month, but I think that he would catch himself if he ever saw any you know, because all of his friends drink, he's the only one who doesn't. So I don't, I just don't think it's going to be an issue with him. Michael Hingson ** 22:10 Did he ever say things to you, though, like, well, but if it's really not fun, how come you continue to do it or anything like that? Did you ever have that deep of a discussion? Um, Mary Beth Schrudder, ** 22:21 you know, towards the end, but I'm going to be honest. He, I was a very happy drunk. I he, he was young, you know? And he, I'm not. He took advantage sometimes, like I was one of the the people who drink. I get more and more generous. I'm having fun. I'm not an angry drunk, you know, they say your true personality kind of comes out, like I just actually got nicer, and I think he kind of liked it, you know. And I think I was more playful, and I had to, you know, kind of learn, like, I'm still playful. I can be playful when I'm sober, you know, like I don't have to drink, you know. I can just do other things to bring that playful sight out, and it's a journey, because I felt like I needed, I needed the alcohol to have fun, and that it wasn't true. That was a story that I was telling myself, but it's not true. So, yeah, my son, you know, towards the end, he did try to kind of point those things out. But I think when he was younger, he liked the the mom who had the nice buzz, and would be like, yeah, sure, let's go do that. Sure. I'll buy you that. You know Michael Hingson ** 23:30 one. I wonder though if deep down, it'd be an interesting discussion. But I wonder if deep down, he still sensed something's not right here, and absolutely, yeah, Mary Beth Schrudder, ** 23:40 he had to have, there's no way he didn't. And you know, I was always half assing it through my next day. I couldn't think of a better way of saying it. So he noticed that, he noticed I was dragging, not in as good of a mood as normal, because I was feeling the shame and the guilt that comes along with that whole cycle. So he definitely noticed all that. We didn't have a lot of deep discussions, till the towards the end, when I was like, Okay, I'm gonna quit. And then I realized how hard it is. It's like, extremely, you know, you know, addiction is nothing to do with intelligence, and I think that that's what I needed, is that experience. Because I was like, this is it's like, really wild, you know all and i Everyone I know who, who's struggling with addiction. They are, they're some of the most intelligent people. And it's just, it's just so interesting how much a substance can take control or a person you know, or food, how much it can take control over your life when you realize it. And you know, I didn't, I didn't give it up my first try. For sure, it took quite a quite a few tries and now, and you know, that's why I got into doing, you know, addiction recovery is Well, honestly, when I first started doing it, I didn't. Realize I had an addiction when I'm reading all this stuff and educating myself, I was like, Oh my gosh, educating myself on alcohol. I was like, oh, you know, like, that's when I that's what woke me up to, you know, that my sleep problems could be associated with alcohol, my anxiety could be associated with alcohol. And I'm just over here thinking I had insomnia. I didn't have insomnia. It went away as soon as I quit drinking. Who knew? So, Michael Hingson ** 25:28 how long ago did you actually quit drinking? A little Mary Beth Schrudder, ** 25:31 over four and a half years ago. And I do not count days like, I know what day it was because it was my friend's birthday. And it was, I was like, is the last time I'm gonna drink. But it was September 8, whatever, four. And then, like, four and a half years ago, whatever that was so, Michael Hingson ** 25:50 but 20, 2019, Mary Beth Schrudder, ** 25:53 okay, thank you. Yeah. I just thought the math. Thank you so much. Because I'm like, I'm like, you really need I what your question was. I'm sorry. No, Michael Hingson ** 26:05 you you answered it. It was just, it's it's interesting. Well, all I asked was, How long ago did you stop? But that must have also affected what you were coaching and teaching. Well, let's go back to that a little bit. So what did you do? You went to college, I assume, yeah, Mary Beth Schrudder, ** 26:23 long time ago. Michael Hingson ** 26:24 And what did you do after college? Well, Mary Beth Schrudder, ** 26:27 you know, I actually went back to college and finished a couple degrees when I was 37 so, and what I got was organizational leadership, because I was a person who didn't know what I wanted to do. I was all over the place. I mean, honestly, the amount of degree hours, like, I mean, credit hours that I have is ridiculous. You know, I could definitely have PhD, but I just kept changing my degree plan because I didn't know what I wanted. But I loved psychology. I loved so I thought I was gonna be a dietitian for a while. I thought I just could not find my purpose. And the first time I heard about being a life coach, though, I was like, That's it. That's what I'm gonna do. And I immediately, even though I had all this education and you don't, you actually don't need a certification or anything to become a life coach. It's crazy, like, you don't legally need that. But I got, I got eight. I decided that I was like, I just love learning and I didn't want to. A lot of people have a very specific niche. It turns out, like at the root of almost every issue of somebody has is some form of addiction, even if it's an addiction to their negative thoughts or overthinking, or any type of patterns that someone might have is it's at the root of it all. It's some for the form of addiction, and some of those addictions are just mental a lot of people get addicted to drama, and it's so weird, but it's the same type of dopamine hit, and that comes up a lot with the relationship addictions. People get, people get addicted to dating there's, I mean, well, you know, there's, there's sex addiction out there, there with these dating apps, there's people addicted to dating apps. I have clients like that, yeah. I mean, it's endless. The things you can so basically help people break those old patterns and and just so they could live their optimal life. Because once you're free of that, you know you could actually find the love. And what we're really looking for is abundance and and happiness. That's what we're all. We all just want to feel better. That's all we want. Yeah, Michael Hingson ** 28:32 and, and you can, you can do it in a willful way, or you can do it in an addictive way, a willful way, being you. You can bring that about yourself with your own mental faculties, as opposed to relying on so many other things, which is, of course, what you're really saying. So many people just rely on whether it's drugs or alcohol or whatever it it. It is unfortunate that we don't learn and we don't get taught how maybe to address some of these issues a whole lot earlier. Mary Beth Schrudder, ** 29:07 Yeah, and I think we see it a lot in in men, for that reason, because, because, because, then we talked about earlier with societies, you're not allowed to show your feelings. So then, who wants to numb out more than a man who's told he's not allowed to feel what he's feeling, but he knows he's feeling it. It's awful. But, yeah, that's exactly right. So Michael Hingson ** 29:30 when, so you he went off to to college, got out of college, and did stuff, but you essentially ended up really going into life coaching. Yeah, Mary Beth Schrudder, ** 29:39 and, you know, I got married and divorced, and that time I was a stay at home mom for a while, and, but, yeah, when I got into coaching, that was like, like, I said, as soon as I heard it was a thing, and there's still people, I'm in Cincinnati, there's still people in Cincinnati are like, What is life coaching? So it's, it's not really, not everybody knows about it. And also. What is law of attraction? Nobody knows about that either, so I talk Michael Hingson ** 30:03 about that, you know, yeah. So what is the law of attraction? Let's, let's delve into that a bit, because that's clearly a lot of the foundation of what you do and what you are today, Mary Beth Schrudder, ** 30:13 yeah. So I would start by saying, my whole life, I kind of innately knew about it. I didn't know there was a label for it, but I definitely noticed it. I was always talking to people like, you know, when I think this and when I feel this, this happens, and when I think this and I feel this, this happens. I definitely saw this connection of how my thoughts and my feelings and the energy I'm putting out into the world caused certain results, like, I could see it from the time I was a child, and I would talk to people about it, and they'd be like, Well, I don't know what you're talking about. And some days I'd be like, Man, I feel like I'm repelling people. And other days I would feel like, man, everybody and their grandmother wants to talk to me today. And it was just like, I didn't know. It was like, an energetic thing, essentially. Well, when I was in 2006 my friends invited me over to watch we had a watch party for the movie The Secret. It was a documentary, The Secret. And I was like, Oh my gosh, this is what, this is what I've been trying to explain to everybody. Yes, this is it. And so the secret isn't really a secret, it's, it's always been a thing. They just kind of were marketing it as a secret, right? But the law of attraction is simply, it's science, you know, it's nothing to do with religion. I mean, except for the fact that I believe God created the universal laws, of course. So this is another universal law, like, you know, like the law of gravity. We don't get a choice to say that I'm going to apply the law of attraction today, because it's just like any other law. It just is. So it's happening. We're always manifesting. And what I mean by that is the energy, where everything's energy. This is science based. Everything is energy, and the energy we put out will be the energy that we bring out, bring back like attracts like what we focus on gets bigger. These are the law of attraction. 101, basic premises. So that's what I was noticing growing up. Is like, Man, I could tell the way I thought and the way I felt directly affected my day. And so then I started to really delve into it and just, you know, honestly, I got to a point where I just knew too much about the law of attraction and how we create our own reality, and how, if you don't deliberately like, pay attention and focus on your thoughts and your your feelings, your emotions, basically, if you don't, if you don't pay attention, and you're just kind of on autopilot, then what you're doing is you're it's just you're drawing things into your day just by default. So I'd much rather be a deliberate creator of my life, a deliberate creator of how my day goes and start taking that personal responsibility and there's basically, it's about controlling your thoughts and you're not controlling is a bad word, but at least redirecting things, because we can kind of go on a downward spiral with our thoughts, right? We can get in a bad momentum so we could wake momentum is actually another good word for law of attraction. So you can start your day and, you know, stub your toe right when you get out of bed, then you're going to spill coffee on yourself, you know what I mean? Then you're going to yell at your kid, and, you know, could just kind of go downward spiral. So that momentum is is just exactly a perfect example, but it also works the other way. So Law of Attraction is just manifesting. We're attracting things via the energy we're putting out, but via our thoughts and our feelings, and our feelings are huge. So we could say so many positive affirmations. I'm sure everybody who's listening has heard of positive affirmations. You could say them all day, every day, but if you don't feel it's true, then you know it's it's really gonna it's good to say positive affirmations. I'm not saying it's bad, but you also want to feel the truth in them. We can only create things within our personal belief systems. Our beliefs are important. Our beliefs are everything. All we see is our beliefs, right? Michael Hingson ** 34:20 Well, words are not in of themselves powerful. It's really the thought that we put behind or don't put behind the words. So you're right. It's all about what we really think and what we really feel, and we can use words to express that, but that's going back to as as you talked about before directing your thoughts and and controlling may not be the right word, necessarily, but but still, you can learn to control and to focus your thoughts or direct your thoughts, and that is. But so many of us don't learn to do and we just Mary Beth Schrudder, ** 35:05 sloppy thinking. And like you said, yeah, it's more the meaning that we attach to things that's that's put creates the importance of them, right? Because two people can have the same exact trauma, and one of them attaches this horrible meaning and it destroys the rest of their life. Well, the other one doesn't attach its horrible meaning, and they just have a completely different experience with it. So it's really all about the meaning that we attach to things that happen to us. And, you know, I have clients, and also not not only clients, but just people in life that I just know who had something, you know, and I'm not taking away from the trauma, but something traumatic happened to them in their childhood, and they carry it with them all day, every day, and it's like, oh my gosh, you know, at some point we we have to, because what we're doing when we just focus on something that happened, like when we're five or six years old, or, you know, even 12 or whatever age it was, When we still, when we make that our identity, you know, we're kind of revi we're becoming the victim every single day, over and over again, like revictimizing ourselves. I don't think that's a way, but, Michael Hingson ** 36:11 but, but that's something that collectively or individually, we do have some control over, if we, if we choose to really decide to redirect and change what we feel, then we can make some progress. But we do have to make that decision. It's Mary Beth Schrudder, ** 36:30 definitely it's a personal accountability. It's changing from the victim mentality to the victor mentality, becoming the victor of your life, and you got to be your own hero, because, like, no one's gonna come save us, like I've had a lot of dark stuff happen to me. I could sit there and blame other people for everything, and honestly, I was in the victim mentality, especially going through my divorce, like I was I blamed him for everything. But the truth is, is I know that I attracted that relationship, and it turned out to be the best teaching, like my ex husband was the inadvertently a master teacher for me. You know what I mean? Like, we can, we can look at it like we were a victim of something, or we could look at it like, wow, I learned so much, and it's the difference between having a growth mindset and a fixed mindset, right? Yeah. So, so I take everything in life that way. I've had a lot of dark stuff, but I just turn everything negative into how can I use this to help other people? And that is my intention with my practice. Michael Hingson ** 37:32 So you decided that you were going to be a life coach and so on. And as you said, you don't legally have to get certified for it, but you've got what, 18 years of experience now at doing it. Mary Beth Schrudder, ** 37:44 And I have, yeah, no, no, no. I only have only been like practicing, like, for my career, only six years as a life coach, right? Okay, six years, yeah, but, um, yeah, no, I went to school. I didn't know I was going to be a life coach when I got my organizational leadership degree, which was basically, and I have applied sociology and communications, and it's all of those things fit beautifully into it. But I didn't know I was going to be a life coach. It just happened to be the all the classes that I was very interested in, and I was just so close to all of these degrees, and that's so I just got all of them, you know what I mean? But um, because I had taken so many classes prior, and I was like, Okay, I got my divorce. I'm like, time to finish. I gotta finish what I started. I gotta finish my degree. So yeah, but they all fit perfectly. So you know how things kind of unfold that way, like, I didn't know I was going to be a life coach. But I think, God, did you know so I have the perfect education, and then, yeah, I did end up getting like eight certifications too on top of that, just because, like I said, I love learning anyway, and I'm gonna be studying this stuff, so I might as well just have a certification with it. Michael Hingson ** 38:58 So how did you decide, or why did you finally then decide to become a life coach? What? What was the threshold you crossed over to do that? Mary Beth Schrudder, ** 39:06 It just felt like a calling. As soon as I heard what a life coach was, I was like, This is it. I can't explain it like it was just a no brainer. I immediately took action. I immediately took the steps to do this and start my business. It was, it was not even a question. It's just one of those things that I know that I know that I know that I know this is my calling. And finally, because that remember all the decades of taking all those classes, not not having that direction, so it's, I think I had to wait until life coaching was really a thing, a career. Michael Hingson ** 39:41 Wow. Yeah, so you, you made that change. And it's probably in in one sense, not a magical surprise, that if you started being a life coach six years ago, something happened along the way that four. And a half years ago, you also decided to deal with that addiction. Mary Beth Schrudder, ** 40:03 That's a great question, and you're right 100% I could not. I have a lot of integrity. There is no way that I could help people with addictions. Well, I'm struggling with an addiction, no way. So I just had to, I, you know, and I didn't even think I did remember. I did. Remember, I didn't even think I had a problem, because I'm comparing myself to the world, and everyone's doing exactly the same thing I am. The majority of people, everyone I knew, put it that way. So I didn't think I had a problem. But then as soon as I realized I did, I was like, wow, especially when you try to stop and realize how little control you actually had that you thought you had. I was like, I can quit anytime I want. Well, it was not that easy. And I think just, I'm helping people with all kinds of addictions, you know, like the relationship and the food and and I'm helping people just with their limiting beliefs. That's another huge thing that I do, and breaking old patterns of all just patterns of all kind, anything that's stopping them. I'm helping people with their careers so they can level up in some way, there's always some sort of block that, you know, I'm trying to help people through. And I just needed to be my best version of myself in order to have the integrity that I needed in order to continue. You know, I had to be sober. I had to be a sober coach. No one, no other option. Michael Hingson ** 41:23 And that makes sense, and it also gives you then the extra strength of I went through it and I learned how to deal with it Mary Beth Schrudder, ** 41:32 exactly. And I that was, that was the integrity. Part is there's no way that, like everything that I teach, in my practice and with my groups, or one on one, or anything that I'm doing on social media is something I've been through myself, and I could not I could not teach something that I haven't conquered Michael Hingson ** 41:54 well. And that's important, because if you've really done that, then I'm only saying it that way to to get to this if you really done that, then you can talk about it with a lot of conviction that you can't if you haven't really done it Mary Beth Schrudder, ** 42:10 exactly. And that's why there was, it was a no brainer for me to just, you know, release alcohol from my life. That's what I feel like I did. I didn't go to AA. I used all of the Law of Attraction techniques that I had learned, and that's where the idea of my deck of cards came from, actually, is because I was like, Oh my gosh, I didn't do AA. I didn't like aa that I am not against anyone who, who, if AA is helping you, it's a fabulous tool. Stick with it. But I know there's other people out me, like out there, like me, who don't like it, and who actually, for me, I found it anti law of attraction, okay? And here's why. Because anytime you say I am and then there's a blank, and you fill in the blank, I am an alcoholic? Well, you're in creation mode. I am is very powerful, powerful words I am. So you got to be careful what that word is. I That's why I don't say I am an alcoholic. I would never say that I'm a person who used to have a who used to have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. That's, that's, that's, that's true. Used to, I used to, I don't anymore. So I would, I think, to continue and saying I am an alcoholic, you're continuing, you know, to really quit an addiction or even just a bad habit, you got to change your energy, you know, you got to change at an energetic level. You got to, you know, I just change my identity completely by changing my energy first. And that's why I say. That's why my deck of cards is created to shift the person's energy. Who has them, so then they no longer are the same person. You know, they're awake if they use them, if they apply the card, you can't just buy them and put them on your nightstand and not use them, right? But they teach all of the Law of Attraction techniques. They will shift your energy if you apply them, and you pick one every day, and you just make that your daily focus. And, you know, instead of going to a meeting every day and staying in that older vibration of, you know, I'm like, I'm not going to go to a meeting every day, it just and keep reinforcing that I I'm an alcoholic, you know, like, I'm going to change my identity, and I'm no longer that person who orders wine when I go to a restaurant or especially at lunchtime, which I did often. I'm no longer that person that's not my identity anymore. That's not even in my energy field. I It's, it's, that's a different person who did that. Michael Hingson ** 44:34 Do you ever take a drink anymore? Absolutely not. Mary Beth Schrudder, ** 44:38 There are two different types of people, you can be a moderator, and some people can do that, and if they are good at moderating, I'm not against, like, Oh, nobody should ever drink alcohol. If you have control, if you are someone who can moderate, and you stick to what you say, like, I must have one or two drinks. And you can actually do that. More power to you, but you're either. A moderator or an abstainer, and I'm really good at abstaining, but I I, like I said earlier, I don't have that stop button. I'm unstoppable. That's how I'm gonna start saying it. That sounds more empowering. I'm unstoppable. There you are. See, yeah, yeah. So I didn't have that. And I also heard it described as, like, a dial, like, like, some people can, like, you're turn tuning a dial, like, on a radio station, they can, they can tune it up and down. And I'm more of I'm not a dial person. I'm a switch person. I'm either all in or all out, like a light switch. That's how my personality rolls. Like I can, I'm really good at abstaining. I can turn it, turn it off, but when I'm on, I'm on, and that's how I am in every aspect of my life. I'm an extremist. I really am like, I'm someone who, when I go all in, I'm gonna go all in. And so for me, abstinence works really, really well. I'm actually very good at it. I Michael Hingson ** 45:57 know that I'm perfectly capable of going to a restaurant with people, and if they order a drink, I can order one and like, I like bourbon and seven. But if I were really honest with myself, it's because I like the seven up more than bourbon. But I I have never been drunk and don't want to be just really have no desire even to have any anything like that. But I know I'm capable of going and having a drink if it's a matter of being sociable, and sometimes I've even decided, nope, not going to have anything tonight. But I hear exactly what you're saying, and it is important that we need to really understand and create boundaries, know our boundaries and that kind of a thing. But for me, I don't even think about it in terms of numbing feelings or anything like that. And I guess that's I'll, I'll feel blessed because of that, but it's not an addict. No, in no way. Man, I don't even want to ever think about it. I couldn't like it enough. I have a friend who now? How long ago? Gosh, it's maybe 1718, years. He had a heart attack, and his doctors told him to stop smoking, because he was a pretty heavy smoker, and he amazed us all, because he stopped he never had another cigarette, which was pretty impressive. He now has cancer, which may, in part, be because of the smoking years ago, and he's got to deal with that, but he stopped. But it's such a rare thing to see Mary Beth Schrudder, ** 47:34 that is, you know, I did have a friend who, um, he had quit drinking alcohol, and, like, I think, five years prior, and then ends up getting, like, a cancer related to alcohol, and ended up dying, you know? So it's, like, it's one of those things you guys, like, if you, if you're listening to this, and I'm it, I'm related, I'm relatable to you, you know, it's, I gotta be honest. Like, it is so much better. Like, the sooner you do it, the better my I, that's my only regret. Is, like, I'm glad that I got all the lessons that I got, but had I known how amazing my life was going to be without it, I would have stopped a lot sooner. Yeah, now I'm living my optimal life. I do feel like I have leverage over over a lot of people who who drink every day. You know, when you're a non drinker, you know, we're certain we're kind of ahead of the game each morning, you know, I wake up feeling amazing, and I used to wake up feeling like crap, you know. So it's a it's a beautiful thing. Michael Hingson ** 48:34 So you're not buying into Dean Martin's comment about he feels sad for people who don't drink, because when they get up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel for the rest. Feel for the rest of the Mary Beth Schrudder, ** 48:44 day. Oh, I used to love that. I used to love that because I would say that stuff, you know, and I would make all the jokes because it, yeah, it makes us feel better for our addiction when we joke about it, like, when I look at social media, and even even people that I know, personally, my friends and I see it looks like they're having so much fun and they're out, and all you see is the good stuff, but no one's taking pictures of the middle of the night, when, when they're up at 3am with their heart racing. No one's taking pictures of the next day when they're yelling at their kids because they feel like crap. You know, you know, no one's taking pictures of that. They're only taking pictures of the fun times, which is so temporary that time that you're feeling good from alcohol is like, maybe a couple hours before you start going downhill, honestly and then. And I'm talking about, you know, drinking, drinking like, not your level of drinking, Michael, you're there's nothing wrong with that. But I'm talking about people who go out and party like weekend, we call them weekend warriors, like they might not drink all week, but on the weekend, they're gonna they're gonna go out and they're gonna have fun. Well, there's a very small window of of that fun time, and then the whole next day. I think that, like, if you on on a Friday night, you're not gonna feel that great Saturday, Sunday. Day, or even Monday, if you really party, if you're a weekend warrior, yeah, like, you know, like, it's, it's affects you, and it's, it's, you got to ask yourself, is this really worth the trade off? Is it worth? Some people might, Michael Hingson ** 50:13 but you've got to really be able to stop and think about that. And you know, one of the things that I talk a lot about when the opportunity arises on this podcast is the fact that we really need to, if we possibly can. Well, we all can do it if we would do it. Stop at the end of the day and take a look at what happened today, what worked, what didn't work, really go back and think about what we've done. Be introspective, and unfortunately, we don't teach that. I think a lot more people would recognize what you're saying. If we really were capable of stopping at the end of the day, I shouldn't say if we were capable, because we are. If we would really take the time to stop at the end of the day and look at what happened and even the good stuff. Why was that good? What do I do to make it better? What do I do to have more of that? We don't teach ourselves, we don't stop and and take that step back. And if we would do it, we would learn a lot more about ourselves, and we would be a lot better for it. But we we've not. We don't get taught how to do that sort of thing. Yeah, Mary Beth Schrudder, ** 51:22 I'm really big on journaling and, like, having some sort of mindfulness journal where you reflect, you know, I do it. I do it myself in the morning, and in the evening, you know, where I'm, you know, okay, in the morning, you're preparing okay for the day, and then at night, you're reflecting, like you said, and and I you keep saying this, and it's so true, like, how we weren't taught. Like, it seems like we're taught a bunch of stuff that we're never going to use, but things that are super important in school. Like, I think our whole system needs to change. Like, I would love to see meditation in school. You know, just learn because it because it gets it's really difficult to try to learn things like that as an adult. When we're kids, we're little sponges. So that's the time to teach things like, you know. And also, can you imagine, like, how much more peaceful the world would be if kids learn to meditate and then, you know, like I do, I do see such a huge difference in myself and other people when they do either some type of breath work, meditation, just taking that time to reflect, like you're saying with a meta, you know, a journal, some type of reflection. And I think there's a lot of magic in writing things down, especially when it comes to the law of attraction. When you write things down like, it's way more likely to come to fruition. And I'm saying write it down in a pen, not just your iPhone. Notes like it's really important to, you know, just, just take that time to create your intentions and come up with that clarity. Because we all have goals that we want to reach, but like, we don't spend a lot of time getting clarity on what do you actually want you so you have to really take that time to set your intentions. Well, Michael Hingson ** 52:59 what I do, because journaling, I could journal in Braille, but what I like to do is to put reminders in various things and notes on my lovely little echo device. And magically, magically, at times during the day, when I have forgotten all about it, suddenly it says, this is a reminder that and, and that's cool. I we, we really, however we do it. Need to take the time to vision and to really remind ourselves of what we truly want, and when we do it, and it's and it's real and it isn't, oh, I need to have another drink now. But, but rather, you know, whatever it is, but to truly establish visioning for our lives, it's extremely powerful however we do it. Mary Beth Schrudder, ** 53:50 I'm so glad you said that too about that daily. Because, yeah, this is all daily work for me. And that's probably like, how the AA, like, one day at a time. Stuff like this is stuff that it's kind of like we have to work on our mind, like, holistically. Like, I'm a transformational, but a holistic life coach, so I help people, mind, body, spirit, right? We because if one of them's out of balance, we're all out of balance. Yeah? So, like, it's kind of like expecting, okay, well, I'm gonna go to the gym every day. I'm gonna hit my goal weight. I'm gonna be like, I got, okay, now I got the perfect body, so now I can just stop. No, that's not how it works. You got to keep, you got to keep doing stuff to maintain it. So that's where, that's where we have to be, is every single day I work on, on raising my vibration, is what I call it in law of attraction terms. I keep my vibe high, you know, like, there are things that I know that I personally need to do to set myself up for success the following day. There's I go to bed at a certain time. You know, I have a routine, and I sound really boring, but this is, like, I love to start my day out with a routine. Like, I used to hate it, but it's because I felt. Awful. You know, I was, I was not setting myself up for success. And now I love it. I look forward to it. There's definitely life on the other side of alcohol. And every single day I do things that I know are going to make me feel good. And now I like, I have a Facebook group called addicted to feeling good. That's my new addiction. So, you know, we got to replace old addictions with better, healthy addictions, right? Because once you get rid of something like, that's why a lot of people like, will go to AA, it's that's what it's great for, then you have something to do where you used to go to happy hour. So I didn't choose AA, but I chose going to the gym, you know? So I replaced it with something healthy. Yeah, Michael Hingson ** 55:35 you've talked about spiritual awakening and spiritual transformation. Tell me more about that and like, in your world. Mary Beth Schrudder, ** 55:44 So, um, I had, like, I had a spiritual awakening when I was, like, 18 years old, and it's interesting, because I didn't know what was happening, because I, I am, I've always had, like, interesting spiritual, spiritual things happen in my life, kind of almost, almost like a paranormal life, to be honest with you. But so I've never questioned if any of the stuff is real or true. I've always known that we are spiritual beings having a human experience. I've always known and felt that, and, um, basically I was reading. I was always interested in spirituality and books. And when I was 18, I was reading a book on near death experiences, and it triggered this awakening. It was like my soul remembered, oh yeah, this is how it really is. But, I mean, I it was just, I, it's hard to explain, it's hard to put into words, but basically, it was beautiful, you know, like a feeling of oneness. And it just, it's lasted two weeks where I was just in this, like, almost like being in another dimension and everybody else here, because I was in this, I, like, I was kind of given downloads, like I had all this information I understood things like quantum physics and things that that did not stick in my mind, you know, like, there, I like to believe they're in there somewhere, but, um, yeah, I just kind of understood all these things. Any question that I had, it was kind it was answered for me. And I could look at the homeless person and be like, Oh my gosh. Like, they this. I remembered this happening. Like, this guy chose he he's actually like, this is what he chose to do for his life. And he was like the smiling, smiley homeless guy that I saw every morning, and I just looked at him so differently, because I realized this was his life purpose, and he's actually out there making people happy, like it was just this higher perspective, right? That I've as, especially for an 18 year old. Well, it lasted about two weeks, and I could slowly feel the vibration going down. And now I look back on it and I think, Wow, this was all part of the beautiful unfolding for what I teach and what I do, because having that personal experience was absolutely a gift to me, so then I can be more confident in what I teach. A lot of people are gonna think I sound crazy. I get it. Those aren't my people. Those are that's okay, like, I don't need to convince everybody of my personal belief system, but the people that I do resonate with, I mean, they're they. I have people all the time. Oh my gosh, I heard you talk about that spiritual awakening on a podcast. The same exact thing happened to me, you know. So I'm helping other people with, you know, with my podcast, I have a podcast called spiritual transformation podcast with Mary Beth, and we that's what you're going to be on it. I'm looking forward to you being on my show and looking forward to it, yeah, we tell stories of transformation, could be spiritual or just any type of inspiring story of transformation. And I do have psychics on there, people who are spiritually gifted, any type of leading edge spiritual teachers and healers, you know, because it's just really a community for us to all learn together. So we know we're not alone and we're not crazy. We just have been like enlightened in some way that and that others choose maybe a different path. And that's okay. Everyone's entitled to have their own journey, right? We can all have our own path. And I gave up trying to convince people of stuff the right. People will find me, and it's okay for the people who don't like what I teach, Michael Hingson ** 59:08 and they'll find themselves and they'll find what they need to find that's exactly Mary Beth Schrudder, ** 59:12 they are allowed to have their own journey Michael Hingson ** 59:17 well. So what's a typical life coaching session like, Mary Beth Schrudder, ** 59:21 you know, that's a really good question. And I thought there was one when I first started this. I thought, okay, so I'm gonna do this in session one, and this in session two, and this. And it was not oh gosh, just nothing like that. It turns out. So my sessions are actually longer because I do 90 minutes instead of an hour. And since my coaching is accountability, I actually my packages include being having contact with me in between sessions. You know, because, you know, my people are usually trying to stay accountable for something, right? Even if it's just something to do with their career, they need some sort of accountability. So I do make myself available. Um, in between sessions. So basically, what I've learned is every, every client is actually a self healer, and I'm only guiding them. And they, they actually will tell me, like, like, at the beginning of a session, I'm like, Okay, what do you want to make sure that we hit today? Like, what are your goals for this session? And then I do keep them on track, but sometimes, you know, it's just the sessions go where they go, and it's always for a reason, and for me to try to structure someone's someone else's session was not working out like it's so much more beautiful to be in the present moment with them, and you can see, you know, everyone has their own inner guidance. Everyone has their own connection with God and and I can't put that on someone when I can actually witness them coming to their as they're talking, like, Oh my gosh. You know, like coming to their own healing, basically, like just but you know, by guiding them asking the right questions, and it's really amazing. Of course, I give people tools. Tools. Tools are really big. That's a big difference with I'm not saying you don't get any tools in therapy, but with we give, I give homework, I give tools that people can start applying right away. And there is no typical session. It is literally different for everyone, because everybody I got to meet people where they are. I've hired coaches, and they actually will sit there and, like, read a course to me, and I'm like, Okay, I'm not going to do that, because that's awful, you know, because they don't know where you are. Like, I've hired, I've hired a business coach sat there and read to me, like, their core stuff. I've already, like, I knew all of that, you know, like, and anyway, it's happened several times that way, where I did not learn anything. So every single session is individualized with me, you know, like, so I'm, I'm, I meet the person where they are, like, I'm not going to waste any time going over stuff that somebody already knows. And we, we get right to the I do. I do. Let people talk about their past. I need to hear about your history. We need to get to the root cause. Some coaches are more about we're just going to stay present in future. But I think it's really important if I'm helping people break addictions and patterns, I need to know their history. I need to know some of that stuff. What I don't do, like a therapist would do, is dwell on it for a long time. And you know, because I actually don't believe, I believe, if you think, Okay, this healing, healing, this stuff, is going to take 20 years. It's going to take 20 years. I believe I can heal. We I can heal quickly, and everyone can heal quickly. I don't think we have to stay so attached to these old patterns and beliefs. As soon as we recognize the pattern, we begin healing immediately. You know what I mean? It's the recognition and interrupting those patterns that that makes all the difference. It's all about choice, yeah, and the energetic shift. And, you know, that's, like I said, that's what my cards do. And I do everyone who will do a session with me, but like, afterwards, they're they feel like an energetic shift. It's because, you know, it's a it's the energetic exchange that we're having, you know what I mean? And, and, and when you're talking to someone who's who's positive and rooting for you, when you're in your cheerleader and who's showing you your own strength, of course you're going to feel good at the end of a session, right? I would leave therapy crying. You know that I didn't, I didn't therapy. I never really had a good therapy session, to be honest with you. And I really thought I wanted to be a therapist for a long time, and I have friends who have their own practices, and they're asking me, How do I become a life coach? Because apparently, there's a lot of bureaucracy going on in that world, Michael Hingson ** 1:03:48 and there are differences. You know, therapists are supposed to be very much involved in providing answers, and you're supposed to be a guide, as you put it, which is what makes sense. Well, if people would like to reach out to you, and I hope they will, how do they do that? Mary Beth Schrudder, ** 1:04:01 So probably the best way to reach out to me. I'm on all platforms like you know, but my website is day one, life coaching.com D, A, y, O, N, E, life coaching.com and actually, for your audience, Michael, I have a coupon code if anybody wanted to buy any of the products, and that coupon code is the word transform for it. So, so it'll be $10 off either deck of cards. Or I also sell some essential oils that are like law of attraction, raise your vibration, essential oils. So I have those products and yeah, the coupon code transform, and that's on my website, day one, life coaching.com. **Michael Hingson ** 1:04:41 You have been listening to the Unstoppable Mindset podcast. Thanks for dropping by. 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