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Meet our guest this episode, Aimee Bernstein. Aimee has worked to help people become better persons for 40 years. She grew up in the New York City area. She will tell you of some of her challenges as a youth and how she grew out of them. Aimee spent several years as a dancer and then decided to secure a college degree in Music. Her life has definitely been one of self-exploration and discovery. After obtaining her music degree she sang as part of the front act for several famous people. One day, however, her father told her that she needed to get a career. She did. She chose to adopt a counseling career and has never looked back. Aimee used all her knowledge of psychology and counseling to eventually start her own company and coaching program. During the pandemic she also created a course which is available to anyone today who wants to begin to create within themselves their own art of discovery and self-awareness. She also has written a book which is available as you will see in our notes. About the Guest: Aimee’s passion and purpose is to help individuals, teams and organizations unleash their potential_. She is an executive and life coach, psychotherapist, organizational consultant, trainer, and keynote speaker with over forty years experience. Her work liberates people from limited mindsets, behaviors and energy habits in order to successfully navigate disruptive times. She helps them decrease resistance to change, build their dream team, and generate a resilient culture based on shared ownership which supports high performance and well-being. Aimee is a thought leader in stress reduction and wellness cultures. Her book Stress Less Achieve More: Simple Ways to Turn Pressure into a Positive Force in Your Life (AMACOM) guides leaders and their teams in using pressure- the energy of change, to develop self-mastery , high performance and creativity while raising consciousness. The book is available in English, Arabic and Mandarin. It was voted one of 17 inspiring books to read by Thrive Global. As President of Open Mind Adventures, Aimee's clients have included such companies as Chanel, The Port of Singapore, Colgate Palmolive, The Ritz Carlton, and Microsoft as well as numerous nonprofit organizations, and municipalities. Aimee is the creator of The Roar of the MORE, a virtual interactive mind/body/energy training and coaching series. The program helps you clarify who you are becoming, identify the limited beliefs, behaviors and energetic habits that hold you back, and using energy mastery skills, guides you to _embody the upgraded, more conscious version of who you really are. Her approach is a blend of the energy principles and practices of aikido, which she has trained in for forty years, psychology and meditation, Aimee received her Master’s degree in counseling from Boston University and interned at Mass. General Hospital under the auspices of Harvard Medical School. While there she trained under Dr Matt Dumont, then Commissioner of Mental Health for the State of Massachusetts. Aimee has been listed in Who’s Who in American Women. Ways to connect with Aimee: Facebook: www.facebook.com/aimee.bernstein9 ** www.facebook.com/OpenMindAdventures LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/aimee-bernstein-289597/ Tik tok: aimeebernstein637 Instagram: instagram.com/aimeebernstein/ Twitter: twitter.com/aimeebernstein About the Host: Michael Hingson is a New York Times best-selling author, international lecturer, and Chief Vision Officer for accessiBe. Michael, blind since birth, survived the 9/11 attacks with the help of his guide dog Roselle. This story is the subject of his best-selling book, Thunder Dog. Michael gives over 100 presentations around the world each year speaking to influential groups such as Exxon Mobile, AT&T, Federal Express, Scripps College, Rutgers University, Children’s Hospital, and the American Red Cross just to name a few. He is Ambassador for the National Braille Literacy Campaign for the National Federation of the Blind and also serves as Ambassador for the American Humane Association’s 2012 Hero Dog Awards. https://michaelhingson.com https://www.facebook.com/michael.hingson.author.speaker/ https://twitter.com/mhingson https://www.youtube.com/user/mhingson https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelhingson/ accessiBe Links https://accessibe.com/ https://www.youtube.com/c/accessiBe https://www.linkedin.com/company/accessibe/mycompany/ https://www.facebook.com/accessibe/ Thanks for listening! Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below! Subscribe to the podcast If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher. You can also subscribe in your favorite podcast app. Leave us an Apple Podcasts review Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts. Transcription Notes:**
Michael Hingson ** 00:00 Access Cast and accessiBe Initiative presents Unstoppable Mindset. The podcast where inclusion, diversity and the unexpected meet. Hi, I'm Michael Hingson, Chief Vision Officer for accessiBe and the author of the number one New York Times bestselling book, Thunder dog, the story of a blind man, his guide dog and the triumph of trust. Thanks for joining me on my podcast as we explore our own blinding fears of inclusion unacceptance and our resistance to change. We will discover the idea that no matter the situation, or the people we encounter, our own fears, and prejudices often are our strongest barriers to moving forward. The unstoppable mindset podcast is sponsored by accessiBe, that's a c c e s s i capital B e. Visit www.accessibe.com to learn how you can make your website accessible for persons with disabilities. And to help make the internet fully inclusive by the year 2025. Glad you dropped by we're happy to meet you and to have you here with us. Michael Hingson ** 01:21 Greetings once again and welcome to unstoppable mindset. Today we get to interview Aimme Bernstein, Aimme has a passion to help people, among other things unleash their full potential. And Amy is an organizational consultant trainer and a keynote speaker with over 40 years of experience in all of this and oh my gosh, that sounds almost like me. I won't ask you how old you are. But Aimme, welcome to unstoppable mindset. We're really glad you're here. Aimee Bernstein ** 01:52 Thank you so much. And I'm not telling you how old I am. Michael Hingson ** 01:58 So there you go, well, that's okay. 40 years is a lot of experience. And some people would say, well, that means you're old enough that you're getting more in toward the senior world. And it's interesting, it just popped into my head to ask about this, that, unfortunately, I see so many times that people think that as people getting are getting older, they really don't have as much value in the corporate and the whole structure of things. And they tend to be ignored a lot more than probably they should because people don't recognize the incredible vast amount of experience that C seniors bring that other people haven't figured out yet or gotten to yet, don't you think? Yeah, Aimee Bernstein ** 02:41 I actually agree. I think that what we know as seniors is that what worked yesterday doesn't necessarily work tomorrow. And because we've been through transitions in life, and we've seen how we've grown and change and how the organization's have grown and change to I mean, when I came in organizations were just autocratic, you know, then they started talking about, oh, we'll be authentic and transparent and stewardship and stuff like that, you know, well, they haven't achieved it. 100%, you know, we see is, we see the road a little clearer, because we've been down and, and the other thing is, I think that I am in, I am better than I've ever been in my life. I think I'm wiser, I think I am. I have more to offer. I'm more connected to my soul than my ego and my ego like I was when I was very young. So yeah, I do think that organizations sometimes pass us by. And what I've discovered is what comes to me is mine, what doesn't come to me is not mine. So Michael Hingson ** 04:00 well. And the the other thing about it is that what we bring, especially if we work at it is a significant historical perspective to whatever, so that when we work at a company, and if we've worked at other companies throughout our lives and so on, we bring a lot of historical perspective that can help companies and younger leaders, if they would, but listen, but they think well, but your tool, so you really don't have any value anymore, which is so untrue. Aimee Bernstein ** 04:33 Yeah, well, so far. I haven't. I haven't really dealt with a lot of that yet. We'll see what happens over time. Yeah. Michael Hingson ** 04:46 Well, that's of course, something that just remains to be seen well as a consultant and as a coach. People seek you out. So that helps a lot also, of course, Aimee Bernstein ** 04:57 yeah, it's been very much for me, it's spin very much word of mouth. So, you know, I worked with Sports Authority, the Vice President of HR for Sports Authority liked my work and when she went to Dolce and Gabbana, she took me with her. Then she went and Intel to lunch with a girlfriend who was the vice president of HR for Chanel. So all of a sudden, I'm working for Chanel. You know, it's always been like that for me. So we'll see what the future brings. Yeah, Michael Hingson ** 05:26 well, it's, that's a good thing. And it's a good reputation to have that people seek you out and common, will invite you to come and be a part of what they do. Aimee Bernstein ** 05:38 Yes, I think the other thing is that when I was 30, I was very interested in it was the woman's movement I was very interested in or what is power. And in this country, you learn about power in corporations or in politics. So I went into corporations and started working with them. At this point in my life, it's not that I know 100%, but I know pretty well, power. You know, I've, I've studied it experientially, and informationally for years. So I'm pretty comfortable there. Now my real interest is in helping people evolve their consciousness, because I see that the world's consciousness is changing. And consciousness is energy, energy has a frequency, the frequency has has sped up in order to unravel the old for the new to be born. And in the process, it's breaking down the old, right, so you see it all around us, whether it's, you know, systems, cultures, conflicts, wars, you know, whatever. And I want to be there for the leaders of tomorrow, who want to make a better world. Michael Hingson ** 06:56 Well, how overall, do you think it is changing? Aimee Bernstein ** 07:01 I see that I mean, I, I, I sense that as the consciousness increases, that there'll be more of a sense of the greater good, I don't mean, that is 100%. You know, but you know, we're in a system where politicians oftentimes are ego driven, where people are ego driven in the sense of, I have to get mine before you could have yours. I think that I think that it's going to be a little more compassionate, I see women 35 to 55, you know, that age, that group of women as because they have some experience, as they step into more of their power, I believe that they're going to be some of the leaders that lead us into the new world, because they're more willing to be compassionate to, to work with others to, you know, they see things in a in a different way. It's not just my way or the highway. If I'm right or not, who knows, you know? Michael Hingson ** 08:15 Well, we will see, it's, it's interesting right now, it's still very much in a lot of ways, men controlling a lot of things. And there are some challenges there. Do you see men in any way, becoming more compassionate, becoming more open to what we have to look out for the other person? As much as we do ourselves? Yeah, Aimee Bernstein ** 08:35 you know, I have a new friend, a guy named Shaun Harvey, that is actually doing that work with men. He has a company called warrior compassion. And he's helping men become more compassionate, you know, so they, it's, you know, what I see is that we all have male and female in us. So obviously, I'm a woman, you know, I'm more female. But I have a male quality. And me, I think that, you know, as little boys, men, oftentimes were told not to show their feelings don't look weak, don't be vulnerable, that kind of stuff. And I think men are beginning to recognize that it's okay, that in fact, that's part of their strength. And someone like Shawn is helping them do that. So I do think that change is going to happen in both women and men. Michael Hingson ** 09:26 Yeah, we'll, we'll see how it goes. I hope it does lead to more of a trusting environment than we're used to. And I think, I would think probably to some degree, both men and women, but certainly a lot with men that we don't trust. And we're taught not to trust even though we we do mostly like to be in a pack with other other people and so on. It isn't that we like to be an island ourselves, although I think there are any number of us who think that we did it all and we didn't know don't need anyone else. And that just isn't true. But I would hope that we're leading the way to establishing a little bit more of a trusting environment and interesting world. Yeah, Aimee Bernstein ** 10:12 I hope so, too. I hope so, too. It takes a lot of courage to be vulnerable. Yeah. You know, I'm not talking about vulnerability in terms of stupidity, you know, so you don't want to be vulnerable to someone who has harm wants to harm you. But to be vulnerable, particularly like with your employees who work for you, you know, that's a strength, you know, they you you model that, or to be vulnerable with your family? Or your friends? Yeah. Well, so, Michael Hingson ** 10:46 yeah, we will? Well, it certainly sounds like the voice of experience. I'm talking to hear. Back to that. Tell us a little bit about the early AMI growing up and all that stuff that kind of got you started on the road where you are? Yeah. Aimee Bernstein ** 11:05 I would say that the experience that I had as a little young girl was that I couldn't handle pressure. When I would hear my parents yell or be on the tennis court, and I'm dealing with too much physical pressure. I would have an epileptic seizure I had at all. I grew out of Petit mall when I was like 13 or so. But in those years, I just couldn't handle the pressure. My parents recognizing that I had dance talent ended up sending me to Marjorie Marshall School of Dance in the Bronx. Marjorie Marshall was the mother of Penny and Gary Marshall, seers and directors. And Marjorie was a stage Mother, you know, she at least it was the time of the Rockettes, you know, and she wanted these little girls to be mini rock rock hats. So she put a lot of pressure on us. But instead of having a seizure, I would just open and align and merge with this energy of pressure. And I was free, it was like I was a ball of motion, a ball of energy in motion it I was so happy, joyous, I didn't understand why in one situation, pressure was an enemy. And while another situation pressure was my ally, until I was in my 20s. And I met a teacher named Robert Nadeau, who's in eighth done Aikido master. Aikido is a martial art, and they call it the martial art of love or peace. It's about the resolution of the harmonious resolution of conflict. Well, I didn't give a squat about Aikido martial art. But I had experiences with this guy, I had met him through friends of mine, and I had experiences with him that I couldn't, I couldn't understand why I was having these experiences. You know, I've always to my imagination, but I kept having them with him. So I ended up going to study with him. And what I learned in the process was that pressure was the energy of change. And then there was a universal law, which says, Whenever there's a job or task to do energy comes into your system in the amount needed to do the job. Now, I understood that because, you know, I had been a dancer, I was a singer I used to perform for like 1000s of people, you know, and you feel that rush of energy before you went on stage. Similarly, when I give a speech in a corporation, you feel that energy, right, your legs get shaky. Okay, you run away, same thing. Well, what he taught was instead of resisting it, or forcing your will, instead of collapsing, Oh, I'm such a victim, Why is life treating me so bad? Instead of staying in your head and making bleep nothing was happening, you know, oh, you're cool. You're going with the flow. You know, he taught you how to open and align and merge with this energy. And when you did, what happened, what it would enhance your performance, your creativity, and raise your states of consciousness, your level of consciousness. So, learning how to deal with pressure has been life changing for me? Because it taught me how to open up to finer versions of myself. In other words, we all have different versions of ourselves, even in the course of the day. You know, there's the usual Michael Right, you know, let me say it this way, as usual, Amy Michael Hingson ** 14:53 Michaels fine, too. It's okay. There's the usual Michael. Okay, Aimee Bernstein ** 14:57 so usual Amy. Let's go Okay, and she gets along pretty well. And she gets her work done and all of that stuff, you know. And then there's every once in a while, Amy shifts, she reacts or something happens. And she shifts to a smaller version of herself where she can react and say things or do things that she wishes she could take back, then there is this version of AB that is just amazing. She's open, she's big things come out of my mouth, that I don't even know that I know. You know, it's like I'm channeling it by performance is extraordinary. You know, I'm intuitive, like you can't imagine I'm creative. Like you can't imagine, you know? Yeah, well, the same is true with all of us, all of us. We all have those places of being extraordinary. You know, my friend Felice, when she gives us a presentation, she owns the room, my friend, Jeff, when you sit in the car, doesn't matter who is trying to, you know, get in front of him or cut him off, or whatever, he just is king of the road, you so calm, my mother used to pick up a crying baby, and the kid would immediately stop crying. We all have those places in us. The thing is, we don't know how we got there. So they remain extraordinary moments. What nado taught was how to shift to a upgraded version of yourself so that the extraordinary became more ordinary, you know how to call it in? That was life changing? You know? Michael Hingson ** 16:27 Do you think that speaking of pressure, a lot of the pressure that we feel, is really self imposed, and that there are reasons for that Aimee Bernstein ** 16:41 there is the pressure of the situation. So if it's a small little situation, you know, there's a little bit of pressure, if it's a huge situation, big situation, there's a whole bunch of pressure. So there's that. And then we can either, then there is our reaction to that pressure. So some people, what they do is they go in their heads, and they start analyzing and telling stories, that's, that adds more pressure to it, you know, it doesn't help the situation harms it. So we end up if you close down to it, or you start telling stories, or stay in your head with it, you're going to feel discomfort, distress, and overtime, if you keep doing that disease, Michael Hingson ** 17:25 I am in the process of finishing a book, actually, it's written and it's in the hands of the publishers, and they're doing what publishers do. But it's a lot about controlling fear and learning to control fear. And one of the things that I read a lot as I prepared and began writing this book is that oftentimes fear exists in our lives, because we really don't know how to control it. And we, in fact, become just afraid of so many things, or because it's uncertain, we're afraid of it, or for any number of reasons. And we fear so many things that really are irrelevant. There's nothing and no reason to be afraid. But we become afraid until we really can stop and analyze what is going on in our lives. And recognize a Why am I afraid of that? Because it has nothing to do with me. I Aimee Bernstein ** 18:24 will I agree with you that we certainly make it worse by all the stories that we tell, let's see, my trading was different. My training was, instead of just being aware or trying to be rational, you know, I learned that insights don't necessitate change. If they did, everybody would get their their New Year's Eve resolution Smit, you know, what I learned is to get out of my head and into my mind body learns that control begins when you give it up. Because control is the ego trying to protect itself. And as soon as you shift into your mind body, you can open to that flow. And when you open to the flow, that becomes an easy journey. You know, it moves you in the right directions. Yeah, Michael Hingson ** 19:24 and I'm not at all saying that. Controlling fear is about just being rational. I don't expect people to become Mr. Spock. But rather, that you learn to use as you would call it your mind body, that you learn to look at yourself and spend time interest. Well, practicing introspection, practicing, understanding yourself and raising that awareness that helps you recognize that you don't need To be so afraid, what you can do is use what we call fear as a very powerful tool to help you function better and it can help steer you. Aimee Bernstein ** 20:09 Yes, yes. I mean, I agree with you my formula is self awareness plus presence or mind, body and body, you know, embodiment stuff, creates the skillful action or the transformation. So, um, yeah, I agree with you, I see fear as energy coming into the system. And what we do is we close down to it, then I experienced so on my solar plexus gets tight, right, that's the place of fear most you know, and I lose my grounding, I lose my center, I lose. So I just go in my head, and I get, you know, more stories more. I make it worse. So yeah, I agree with a view that self awareness is important to aspect to understand, you know, the patterns and no, I don't need to do that, and all that kind of stuff. And then you get to make the true shift, you need to go back into your mind body. So, I mean, I, I've seen it both ways. I used to live with the Grammy Award winning pianist, and you put the man in front of the piano, and he was just extraordinary. You take him away from the piano, and he was needy, and had a lot of issues in life, kind of very tough time. On the other hand, I've seen people who were so brilliant in awareness, self awareness, but it's all ideas. It's all information. They don't know how to actually live in that. So, you know, Facebook pages, you see all this wisdom, the spiritual wisdom, but you know, I don't believe that everybody is actually there's nothing and you know, so you need both. You do. Michael Hingson ** 21:54 Talk is cheap. And I remember hearing once I'm a fan of old radio shows, and one of the best comedians, that ventriloquist was Edgar Bergen and his, his sidekick, Charlie McCarthy. And oftentimes, I heard people say, Edgar Bergen really just didn't know how to, to talk to people. And so he did it through Charlie. And when in a workout, I guess I'll write for him. But I hear exactly what you're saying he had to do it through Charlie, as opposed to just doing it himself. Yeah. On the other hand, he made a good career out of it. So quite a quite abiding sense of humor and, and a really great sense of humor. So So where did you go to college? Aimee Bernstein ** 22:47 I went to Hunter College in New York, part of the New York City chain of college in New York. And I went I was I was 16 when I went to college, and my manager found me. He used to sing with his son. And he was he was a clarinetist for the Tommy Dorsey band. So he found me singing, he liked me. So he had my parents sign a contract where he would pay my manager. So when I went off to college, he insisted that I was going to go in for politics. He insisted that I get my degree in music, which I did. You know, and then I went, and I got my masters later, but not in music, in counseling psychology. So, Michael Hingson ** 23:40 what do you think about having gotten a bachelor's in music? Was that okay? Do you? Are you happy with that? Yeah, Aimee Bernstein ** 23:47 uh, you know, my first job was working as a music teacher in the Bronx in a ghetto. And what I discovered was that I cared more about the kids and what they were going through, and when they knew who Beethoven was. So that ended up moving me to, you know, going into psychology. Michael Hingson ** 24:13 So well, and that's, that's fine. Um, you, you sent that and you sensed that you obviously had something to contribute to, to helping other kids, which is, of course, part of your goal that we talked about at the beginning that you'd like to help others. Aimee Bernstein ** 24:31 Yeah. Yeah, I believe that everything that happens in life is for your higher good. So all of that music stuff was great. You know, I had wonderful when I went off to when I left that job, I went off to college. I, I I ended up going to California and I ended up being in a rock gospel band with 20 singers and five backup singers, backup players and two tap dancers. And we did Ron, Jack, Crosby, Stills and Nash and the Grateful Dead and ROM das and Krishna Das. It was a great time of life. Just fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, you know, until my father sat me down with his big cigar and said to me, you're either gonna get married or get a career. I said, Okay. So I went, and I got my masters. You know, it all worked out fine. Michael Hingson ** 25:22 So how long ago was that? Oh, Aimee Bernstein ** 25:25 too long ago. Michael Hingson ** 25:30 Did you move back to New York? Um, Aimee Bernstein ** 25:32 no, I didn't. I stayed in California for 18 years. And then I moved back to there. When I moved to Florida. My parents were getting older. And I felt like I needed to be there, which was a good thing a year and a half later, my father feel so it was all worked out. Michael Hingson ** 25:49 Well, it did. And has he passed now or? Aimee Bernstein ** 25:53 Yeah, my father passed a long time ago. And my mother did too. So your Michael Hingson ** 25:57 mom did too. Yeah, both of my parents did in the 1980s. And I miss them a lot. And my wife of 40 years just passed last November. But I as I tell people, you know, I gotta be a good kid and behave, because I'm sure that she's monitoring. And if I misbehave, I'm going to hear about it. No doubt in my mind. Yeah, Aimee Bernstein ** 26:20 I believe that too. Michael Hingson ** 26:24 I always thought that Karen was was smarter than I was. So sometimes things would pop out. That just little nuggets of wisdom that that I never thought of, and I'm not surprised at that. So I'm sure she's monitoring. And you know, I'll just do my best to be a good kid. Yeah, keep the cat happy, which is the biggest goal in life just as well. So you. So you got a degree in counseling. And what did you do with that? Exactly. Aimee Bernstein ** 26:54 I was actually, you know, again, things worked out great. I wanted to go into, they had different groups in master's degree, were, like, interned in different groups. So one group was the existential group, which was very big at that time. Existential counseling, I knew they were climbing mountains and doing all kinds of things. And I wanted to get into that group, and they were all filled. So I got into the behavioral group. And it was a blessing. I got my training from Ed MassGeneral hospital, under the auspices of Harvard Medical School, studied under Matt Dumont, Dr. Mike Dumont, who was the commissioner of Mental Health for the state of Massachusetts at that time. So I had a fabulous education. When I was done, and I was you know, as, as the intern, I what I was doing was addictions counseling. So I learned a lot about how to deal with people with addictions. And one of my first clients was manic depressive. You know, I learned a lot on the job that way, came back once I was done there, I ended up going out to California. And again, and I worked as an addiction counselor for a number of years, until I got done with that. And then went into employee assistance, programming. And then started my own school, which was the living art school, teaching people about this energy work that dealing with stress and pressure and all that. And then changed once again in when I became interested in empowerment, and I started the Women's Development Company, which was the first mentoring company for women out in California. It's all it's been all arrived, you know, one thing led to another. Now, where Michael Hingson ** 28:50 are you now? Aimee Bernstein ** 28:52 Now? I am. Michael Hingson ** 28:55 Where do you where do you live now? Aimee Bernstein ** 28:58 Where do I live now? I live in South Florida. Okay, so you're in Florida. Yeah. You know, until I get a clue about where I need to move. Next unit. I've been here a long time. I'm ready to go. But yeah, I'm not sure where that would be. Somebody Michael Hingson ** 29:13 sent me a video last week commercial for Antarctica, but Aimee Bernstein ** 29:18 no, no. Michael Hingson ** 29:19 I pointed out that I'm not gonna go there. There's no Costco. There's no target. It's a little bit colder than I like, so I'm sticking where I am. I'm fine in Victorville. California gets cold enough here. Yeah, too, too cold and too many other things that don't exist in Antarctica. So we're not going there. Yep. Yeah. Well, so today, it seems to me. We have a lot of stuff going on. We have a spike in mental illness divisiveness, of lack of trust, and we talked about even the weather What the heck is going on? Aimee Bernstein ** 29:59 Well, I kind of mentioned at the beginning, I believe that the consciousness of the world is changing. And I think people can't handle that kind of frequency that increased frequency. They don't recognize that it's an increased frequency. They just feel pressure. So, you know, there's more fentanyl deaths and, and shootings, mass shootings. I mean, you know, I don't have to tell you, you watch the news, you know, but yeah, we are. But the good part is, this is an opportunity for each one of us to evolve our consciousness, you know, so it's I am, I've been going through this myself over the last few years. And I had a dream, where I'm looking at my computer, and there's a red curtain opens. And there are people inboxes, and they're singing. And I call my mother over who is deceased, you know, in this life, I call her over in the dream. And I said, Mom, I can't believe that I created this is it amazing. And in the morning, I heard part of the song. When the message from your core tells you, you owe more, don't shrink, don't think, believe it, when the message from your soul tells you who you are home, don't shrink, don't think the LI they did. And that's when I created the roar of the more mind body energy training and coaching series. It was all the work that I've been showing executives over all these years. And I put it together in a package and wanted to give it to the public. So that was a huge shift for me. And it was my way of helping those who are ready to evolve who go yeah, this is an opportunity for me, I'm done with the old, it's not that the old was bad. I'm just done with it. I want more those who sent the more than worth, the more Michael Hingson ** 32:09 well, it is an evolutionary process. And it gets back to introspection and, and everything else. And the more we think about what we do each day, what worked, what didn't work. And I don't like to use the word failure, because it's got a negative connotation that it doesn't need to have. But what worked, what didn't work, the stuff that worked? Could we make it work better? The stuff that didn't work? What's the deal with it? And what do we do about it? It's all about what we choose to do about learning about how to move forward. And we seem to not like to teach that I know that we just don't seem to do too much teaching of introspection and self analysis at all, which is extremely unfortunate, because we're our own best teachers, and we just don't tend to want to do that. Aimee Bernstein ** 33:04 Yeah, I agree. I mean, we you know, it's, it's certainly not something people learn in school, counseling for it or whatever. But, yeah, there's a lot of life skills that we just don't teach. You know, I mean, being introspective is one of them that certainly, well, being in general, you know, what I eat and how I move and all of that, how I talk, how to deal with conflict, you know, how do we do? How to what is self care? You know, all that stuff. We don't talk about no school? Michael Hingson ** 33:41 Well, or anywhere, really. We are we Aimee Bernstein ** 33:44 I'm teaching that nonprofit organizations why? And I'm teaching at a couple of corporations. But it's all new. Nobody talks about self care 10 years ago, this is all new stuff that self care is on everybody's lips. Yeah. But it's not institutionalized. That's the thing. It's, you know, like, during the pandemic, a good boss will call you up and say, How you doing, you know, oh, and you tell him a little bit, but you're not going to tell them the whole deal. Because if you tell a man I'm really stressed out, he's gonna think, Oh, she can't handle the pressure. So she's not promotable, right? Yeah. And it's like, I had one vice president of HR got a new job for a big company that was you know, real into productivity, performance, all this kind of stuff, major corporation. And he said to me, and I liked this guy, he's smart, he's good with people. He's great at his job. Six months in or so nine months, and he said to me, Amy, I'm really stressed. I said, Look, why don't you create a self care plan? And, you know, do it for a few months till you see some results and you're feeling better, and then announce it to your staff and I You know, maybe make a video or have a call with them or whatever, tell them about your plan and ask everyone to make a plan for themselves. You know, then you're modeling it. He said no. And I understood because he didn't want people to think that he couldn't handle it tough enough that he wasn't. So until we can, leaders can institutionalize it by modeling. You know, yeah, we do a little bit of it, certainly not enough. We Michael Hingson ** 35:30 just can't seem to be able to get past this idea that we have to be tough and macho. And I think it's more men than women. But it happens all the way around. And we just seem to not want to be able to recognize that there are a whole lot more aspects to our lives than we'd like to admit. Aimee Bernstein ** 35:53 Yeah, I agree. I mean, there I saw some research a few months ago, where they said that women who have the same success Records as the men in corporations, and maybe even a little better, will not get promoted as fast because they don't have that top kind of edge to them, that that the man has, and that's considered leadership. Michael Hingson ** 36:18 And it's not, but it is considered leadership. Yes, that's right. That's right. And the reality is, it's different characteristics and different abilities and different capabilities. Yeah, and that's just as much leadership and we don't tend to, to to deal with it. People have asked me actually, somebody asked me last week, what do I get out of doing all these podcasts? And I thought it was a fair question nobody's ever asked me before. But I had made up my mind a long time ago, that, for me, if I'm learning at least as much as anybody else who listens to the podcast, that I'm getting something out of it. And one of the biggest things that I have learned, and I've mentioned it a few times, although not quite in this context, is that for many years, I would talk about listening to speeches, as as I, as a public speaker would travel and speak. And I always record and listen to speeches later. And as I said, I'm my own worst critic, because no one's going to be tougher on me than I am. But I learned along the way that actually, I'm the only one who can teach me anything. And teachers can provide information, but I'm the only one who can teach me and I have to want to learn it and teach it to myself. And what I have started saying literally this year, which is I think, probably the biggest thing that I've learned, doing two and a half years of podcast is I my own best teacher, forget my own worst critic. That's negative I my own best teacher. And that's really what I think, is a major paradigm shift that a lot of people ought to do is not worrying about being tough on themselves. How do I learn? And how do I connect respect and respect and in respects, introspection, but how do I learn and grow? And that's what we just tend not to do. But we all are our own best teachers. Aimee Bernstein ** 38:13 Yeah, I, I agree that the only one that can ultimately teach me is me, you know, it's me that's going through the experience. It's me that's allowing things. And yet I see that I am blinded. At times, I am blinded. I, I just all I don't know it also, I respective you know, and when I meet people who can show me things, point out things that I hadn't seen or hadn't recognized or hadn't experienced, that's even better experience. Wow, that's just like that just, that just opens the door for me that, you know, takes me to a whole other place. So I think it's both, you know, it's me, I have to, I have to go through it myself. I have to want it. And yeah, and I need people to show me the way sometimes. Michael Hingson ** 39:09 At the same time, the reason you're able to do that, though, is that you've taught yourself to be open to looking for new experiences and looking for new ideas and concepts and attitudes. And yeah, there can be some times that you can be close to that, but I would bet more often than not, you've chosen to learn to be open. Yes. Aimee Bernstein ** 39:32 That's my company is called to open minded ventures. Michael Hingson ** 39:35 There you go see exactly. Aimee Bernstein ** 39:39 Yeah, yeah. Because, you know, I recognize that I mean, you get the spiritual leaders who give you these absolute truths. We are all one. We are all love. You know, I am God and you are God. Now, I mean, I agree. The man you live in there 24/7 I don't think so. You know, we're still human beings and human bodies and, you know, so you have these experiences, and then you shift back to a more material, physical plane, you know, I, I, I'm curious, my teacher said something to me, that shifted my shifted me in a way that was huge. I've always believed that my main purpose in life was to help others, you know, to, in whatever way help people them evolve, help them get off drugs, help them whatever it was, you know. And what he said to me was your main purpose in life is for yourself to return to self. You know, and for those who might not understand it's we all have different versions of ourselves that operate at different dimensions. And then there is the true self or soul, right? And over the course of your lifetimes, you're learning things, you're just you know, you're getting rid of certain karma, you're having certain experiences, right? You're growing, evolving, okay? And the next life, hopefully, you do a little bit better or whatever. And overtime, you know, that's the, that's the game. He said, That's the journey. He said, When he said that, to me, it was like, it was so clarifying to me, you know, to be able to align my perceptions, my energy to that, that self, that true self. So then when I'm making a decision, you know, that's my that's, that's how I make it you know, I asked myself, is that is that for my is that Will that get me to my true self more? Does that align me to my true self? Or is that my ego? Because I got an ego. We all got egos. Right. So yeah, anyhow, that was, I'm not sure why I'm sharing this with you. But it was very life changing for me. Michael Hingson ** 42:06 We've been talking about this shift in consciousness that's going on, what do we need to know, in our lives, for this shift in consciousness to help us, Aimee Bernstein ** 42:16 you need to know how to how to open align and merge with pressure, the energy of change, because the pressure is only gonna get greater. And if you open and align to it, what happens is your human energy system, okay, so we all have an energy system, right? guy goes to war, he cut his arm off, it gets amputated, right? He still feels pain in the arm. Initially, we all have an energy body. Okay, what we need to do is align the energy body, your energy, human system, to the universal system. Einstein said, That's where all creative ideas. So we know that for example, when you you know, where did the best idea when do you have the best ideas? Oh, when you're when you're in the shower? Oh, when you're when you just wake up? Oh, after sex? Oh, you know, when you're very relaxed, that's when the great ideas come? Well, what we need to learn is how to open and welcome this energy of change this pressure so that we can align our human systems with the universal so that we begin to pick up these creative ideas, this energy flow that will lead us into a better world. Michael Hingson ** 43:40 It all still gets back to us being open to doing that. But that's exactly what we need to do. Yes. Aimee Bernstein ** 43:49 We're finding more people or I mean, it is no, it's no big surprise to me that, you know, I don't know how many years ago, 10 years, 20 years ago, mindfulness comes in. When I was 20 years old, nobody talked about my nobody talked about mindfulness, the only people I mean, I was in a group of people studying Aikido. Yeah, we were meditating. We were doing all that we were studying energy work. You know, we call it energy training at that time. But we were a very small group of people doing that, you know, mindfulness is just like getting, it's every day kind of stuff. Michael Hingson ** 44:26 We call it it is, but I think a lot of people don't really understand that they use the word they throw it around. But I do agree that more and more people are learning about what mindfulness really means and how to become more mindful in their own lives. Yeah, it's it's a process. Aimee Bernstein ** 44:45 It is a process, the product The problem is that you know, I was talking to a guy who is a mindfulness teacher, and he's, he's a big hoo ha in in South Florida. He's very good at what he does. Now And he was saying that what he finds is people will take a mindfulness class. And maybe they'll even you know, but then then they're done. It's like I've done it. Yeah, that's what I learned is you don't get to Carnegie Hall without practice, practice, practice, right? You need to keep doing I have, I have 10 years on the mat. In Aikido, I have 40 years studying with the same energy teacher, you know, practice, practice, practice. So yeah, these people who they do it, and then they're, they're ready to do another something else. It's It's Lady Gaga, shallow, shallow. Michael Hingson ** 45:36 Well, again, it's all about I'm my own best teacher, and just taking the class is only the door that opens to give you access to the information. It's a question of what you do with it. Yes, yes. You wrote a book called Stress Less achieve more, which is great. And you distinguish between stress and pressure? Tell me about that, if you would, Aimee Bernstein ** 45:59 yeah, pressure, as I said, was the energy of change coming into your system to help you deal with the situation? Stress is the resistance to that energy. Now, there have been, there's one woman who speaks about how you deal with it, and she has you strike a pose to be able to handle it. And yes, that works. But that's something that is imposed. You know, rather than me tapping into me becoming so expert, at sense feeling that I can move with the flow easily. Am Am I being Am I making sense? You are? Yeah, it's like I had this, I had this experience when I was younger, I was at the eye, every year, they'd have an aikido retreat. And they have a talent show at the end of the aikido retreat. So you know, you're practicing Aikido for seven days, day and night, blah, blah, okay, now they have the talent show. So I sang the rose. And I practiced and practiced and practiced, I had it down, and I had a woman who was the pianist, and, okay, I go to sing the song, I start singing it. And I remember the words, I remember the tune, but it's coming out differently than how I practiced it. Like, the phrasing is different, and I get really scared, I can't call a do over, you know, I gotta keep going. So I just kind of go with it. At the end of the song, my teacher runs over to me, picks me up, and like, hugs me. And I realized what that was about was, the pressure was so big, the energy was so big in that performance, that I couldn't control it in the way that I had practiced it, I just had to let it go. And in letting it go, it went with there was a flow that was even better than what I had practiced. And my teacher saw that he's he, he saw and experienced that flow in me. And that's why he came over to, you know, hug me congratulate me. I think that we need to learn how to opening to I mean, I keep repeating myself, I don't I don't mean to, but opening to that flow is enormous, enormous it is to learn how to do that to let go to to let go of the control to soften and surrender with it, to move with it, to analyze to see, you know, the idle, the analysis of it, is to recognize when you make a decision, and you're doing action, what is the ripple effects of that action? We don't usually consider it. So for example, I used to live on a lake, bunch of houses on a lake, and one of the homeowners complained that there was weeds growing. So with the Association and all its wisdom came and chopped down the weeds. Problem solved, right? No, until the snakes that were so used to being in the weeds came on the land. So then the homeowners association had to go get someone to catch the snakes problem solved, right? No, because now the rats had nothing to eat. So they came they came back on the land. You know, what I learned and what I teach and stress less achieved more, is an inner map for aligning with that energy of change, so that when you making a decision, right, you are moving with the flow, you're not just going off on your great ideas about things. It Michael Hingson ** 50:13 all comes from dealing or from a standpoint of dealing with change, and doing your best to recognize or not, which is what happened it with what you're describing, people didn't anticipate very far ahead at all. No, Aimee Bernstein ** 50:28 no, they know. And most people don't they do it action. Oh, that's a great decision, but they don't see how it affects people. Yeah, yeah. Michael Hingson ** 50:38 You know, you talk a lot about the whole issue of the way to relieve stress is to eat sleep, ate at least eight hours a day, have a good support network and so on. But in your book, you say that often, that's not really enough. Can you kind of explain a little bit more about that? Yeah, Aimee Bernstein ** 50:59 the way that we have it down is we have to do something more in order to relieve stress. Now, I'm all for meditation, yoga, all that kind of stuff, you know. So yes, keep doing it. However, what I've learned is, you need to let go of that, which is creating the stress. So you need to learn to settle your energy down. You know, when three guys are coming to attack you, all right. You can't go meditate, you can't go to yoga, you can't do anything, you got to be there, immediately. You're gonna get a huge rush three guys that come in to attack you. Yeah. You know, if you everything in the universe is to beat, the waves come in, the waves go out the sunrises, sunsets, if you're on the highway, someone cuts you off you go. Right, the energy comes out. What we don't teach people is how to settle it down. Once you settle it out, see people want to be happy, they want to be high. You know, oh, I want awareness. I want to be happy joy. But that's all great. Except that's only half of it. You need a foundation of grounding. The tree with the biggest, deepest roots is the tree that's going to still stand with the hurricane force winds. We need it's the same thing for us. We need to settle that energy down and grounded lead ground so that we can under stand another person under stand we sent under them. Right not it's not an MMA, it's not a mental process, understanding. It's sensing under them so that we sense what they're feeling what what's going on with them. Right. As you learn to ground and settle your energy down, which comes through practice, there is a new confidence that begins to happen just like you throw a stone into the into the water and it spreads out ripples out. When you ground your energy. It's going to it's going to, you gotta get a spread that happens, it spreads out. So what you'll start feeling is more spacious, you know, you'll feel more empowered, you'll feel more confidence, which is what people want. It's not a mind game. It's a experience of grounding and opening and spreading, radiating like the sun. Michael Hingson ** 53:40 And you have to feel it and you have to let it in. Yes. That's why I know when I started speaking, and occasionally people still ask, but when I started speaking, people said, Aren't you afraid to get up and speak in public? You know, we, you don't know what the audience is doing? You got to be afraid, aren't you? And I never have been afraid of speaking in public. But when people started to ask me that, I remember a few times thinking, gee, am I supposed to really be nervous when I got to get up and speak? And when I got up and spoke after some of those things started to to to enter my mind. I went Wait a minute, this this is not what you do. You have been enjoying it the audience's have been enjoying you don't get nervous about something. There's not some need to be nervous about. What I did learn, though, was more techniques about how to analyze how the audience was reacting to what I said. So I thank people for asking me the question, but not for the reason that they thought but I have never, and it was a volitional decision. I've never felt fear of public speaking because I I also realized early on, I don't talk to an audience, I talk with an audience. And that's what I should be doing. Aimee Bernstein ** 55:06 Yes, yeah. So just and Michael Hingson ** 55:10 and, you know, that's, that's really kind of the way it ought to be. 55:13 Hmm. Michael Hingson ** 55:15 Well, what's your formula for personal transformation? How do we get people to move toward what you're describing? Aimee Bernstein ** 55:27 You have first you have to, you know, the formula is the self awareness plus the embodiment creates the transformation, all that, but in order to do that, you have to meet them where they are, you know, you need to make a blend with them and see the world from their perspective, which means that you need to take off your own shoes in order to stand in theirs. And when you can see the seat of truth, then you can begin to lead them in another direction, because now you're, you're in harmony with them, you know, now, they have the choice and the right to say no, right? I had, I was working with this, the senior vice president of a world class business, a cosmetic company. The first day I worked with him, I, I did some energy, work with him. And he was a guy that was a very good man had a couple of daughters. So when he worked with the women of his team, he ended up being a benevolent patriarch. So instead of them solving problems among themselves, Daddy would come in and help them solve the problem. Alright, so I did this energy stuff with him. And he saw his pattern. And I said to him, in order to create your dream, Team change has to happen. Change begins with you. You have to you have to change first. He left, and he told me later, he was pissed off. How dare I say that to him? You know, because most consultants will tell you what you want to hear. They want the job. But I don't do that. So, you know, but then he went home. And he thought about it. And he said, you know, she's right. And I worked with this guy for six years. Until he retired. I, I think that by making the blend and telling them the truth, and then they make the decision, just like you said, you know, do I open to it? Do I want to change? Is there more for me? Do I have the strength? The the willingness to go through it? You know, if they say yep, okay, now you're on a roll. Michael Hingson ** 57:50 So, you you've been coaching people for quite a while. And during the pandemic, you created a new series, right? Aimee Bernstein ** 57:59 Yeah, I did during that. Yeah. Because I, I saw, you know, people weren't getting together and people going through this transformation. And you know, at that time, when I created there wasn't too much going on in terms of transformation. Now more people are talking about it and offering classes and stuff. But yeah, I, I am interested in you know, I did it with I did a, I did a speech for visa pieces mindfulness group. And one of the executives from visa, heard me speak, and she ended up going into the world of the more training. And she told me was life changing. Now when I hear that, I go, that's it. You know, I mean, I did my, that was worth everything that's happened. You know, just to just to get that kind of feedback. Yeah. Yeah. That means a lot to me. Michael Hingson ** 59:05 I know exactly what you're saying. And when somebody comes along with one of those unexpected compliments or spectacular things, it makes everything worthwhile, doesn't it? Aimee Bernstein ** 59:20 Yeah, it really does. It really does. Well, Michael Hingson ** 59:24 tell me if people want to reach out to you learn more about roar of the more or your company and maybe see coaching and so on. How do they do that? Aimee Bernstein ** 59:35 Yeah, they can go to www dot open mind adventures with an s.com Open mind adventures.com And on the menu bar, you'll see the word the more and there's a video and information and testimonials and you know, it's for people who are not just interested. It's for people who are have committed to themselves who have that self love that say that says, there's another chapter for me, you know, I can sense there's more in me more potential more, whatever it is confidence, love, whatever, you know, and they want it, they are ready for it. Those are the people that I'm looking for that are. And in terms of the coaching and the, I do something called shared ownership for success with corporations where we get people together, and we have conversations that matter. And I did this was one organization that was the Tax Division of a world wide, international accounting firm. And two years later, I just got an email a letter from them, rather, saying that their revenue went up 35%. And people are getting together more and working as an engaged team. So you know, that's on my website to the shared ownership for success crosses. And you know, all you got to do is just, you know, can't fill out the contact form. And therefore you or email me at Aimee at open minded adventures, I spell my name A i m e e its, French A I, M E. E, at open minded adventures, and I'm very accessible. Michael Hingson ** 1:01:22 There you go, Well, I hope people will reach out, you've offered, I think, a lot of good insights that I hope people will take advantage of, we need to bring more sanity into our world anyway. So I hope that people listen to what you have to say, and that they will take advantage of the many opportunities that you bring, I assume you coach people all over the world. Aimee Bernstein ** 1:01:45 Yeah, I do. You know, I, I was I did a speech for edge walkers International. I don't know if you know them. But they're an international organization of people who walk the edge between the spiritual and material world, and they tend to be very intelligent people who are doing good things in the world. Someone heard me speak and all of a sudden, I had a coaching client from Dubai. So you know, and I've worked at the Port of Singapore. And so yes, I'm available to whoever you know, is ready for me. Michael Hingson ** 1:02:17 Well, I hope people will reach out. And I want to thank you for being here with us today. And I want to thank you for listening out there. We really appreciate you taking the time to hear what Amy has to say and hearing all of the various parts of our conversation. So thanks very much. We would appreciate you giving us a five star rating wherever you're listening to unstoppable mindset. We value your ratings. And of course, needless to say, Love the five star ratings whenever you can. So please do it. If you want to reach out to me to learn more about some of the what we're doing with the podcasts and also, as I've mentioned, I am a public speaker. So you're welcome to reach out to me at Michaelhi at accessibe.com. That's Michaelhi at accessibe A c c e s s i b e .com. If you want to learn more about our podcast, you can certainly go to www dot Michael hingson.com/podcast Michael Hingson is m i c h a e l h i n g s o n. So Michael hingson.com/podcast and love again to hear from you. Appreciate your ratings. Appreciate all that you have to say. And most important of all, Aimee, we really appreciate you being here with us today and taking the time to give us so many great insights and thoughts. Aimee Bernstein ** 1:03:34 Thank you, Michael, thank you for inviting me. I appreciate it. **Michael Hingson ** 1:03:43 You have been listening to the Unstoppable Mindset podcast. Thanks for dropping by. I hope that you'll join us again next week, and in future weeks for upcoming episodes. To subscribe to our podcast and to learn about upcoming episodes, please visit www dot Michael hingson.com slash podcast. Michael Hingson is spelled m i c h a e l h i n g s o n. While you're on the site., please use the form there to recommend people who we ought to interview in upcoming editions of the show. And also, we ask you and urge you to invite your friends to join us in the future. If you know of any one or any organization needing a speaker for an event, please email me at speaker at Michael hingson.com. I appreciate it very much. To learn more about the concept of blinded by fear, please visit www dot Michael hingson.com forward slash blinded by fear and while you're there, feel free to pick up a copy of my free eBook entitled blinded by fear. The unstoppable mindset podcast is provided by access cast an initiative of accessiBe and is sponsored by accessiBe. Please visit www.accessibe.com . AccessiBe is spelled a c c e s s i b e. There you can learn all about how you can make your website inclusive for all persons with disabilities and how you can help make the internet fully inclusive by 2025. Thanks again for Listening. Please come back and visit us again next week.
