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Like many people we have heard on Unstoppable Mindset, Tessa Lynne Alburn had some challenges growing up. She frankly discusses them especially issues she had with her parents who, as she describes it, did not really understand how to give her the kind of love she wanted and needed. This is no criticism as she points out, but simply the way things were. She also talks about a near-drowning experience and how that affected her and her attitude for years. With all her challenges she did finish high school and then went to college. Tessa loves many sporting activities and, for a time, she was a musician. She learned to play the flute and to sing. She says she still uses singing today sometimes with clients. Today Tessa lives in Steamboat Springs Colorado where she has a successful coaching business helping women to learn and gain confidence. She helps them to learn to discover themselves and to become better in the world. She will tell us some stories of how she has helped women to learn how to be better and more progressive leaders, especially in a world that doesn’t always appreciate what white bright intelligent women can and do bring to the table. About the Guest: Tessa Lynne Alburn is a Feminine Energy Coach and Soul Connection Mentor for Women seeking to having their voice, living a lifestyle of freedom and joy, and reconnecting with the Divine. Tessa’s mission is to help women bring themselves and their ideas and their voice into the world and becoming personally powerful as a co-creator. With a background in SCUBA instruction, energy healing and decades of experience leading live and virtual events, Tessa works with you to create the life you truly want as you maintain your important relationships, while also saying “yes” to your soul. Tessa is intuitive, compassionate and unexpected. Her favorite past-times include hiking, solo SCUBA diving, and star-gazing. Her passions for life and learning, her interest in culture and adventures have taken her both abroad and to 38 US States. Her top 4 values are beauty, variety, spirituality and compassion. Ways to connect with Tessa: Say YES to Your Soul podcast: https://www.sayyestoyoursoulpodcast.com/ https://www.facebook.com/TessaAlburn @tessaalburn
https://www.linkedin.com/in/tessaalburn https://www.instagram.com/realizedsoulwithtessa/ and @realizedsoulwithtessa Tessa’s Free Gift If you want to be happier and more courageous in life, get your free info sheet here and Say Yes to Your Soul! http://www.tessafreegift.com/ About the Host: Michael Hingson is a New York Times best-selling author, international lecturer, and Chief Vision Officer for accessiBe. Michael, blind since birth, survived the 9/11 attacks with the help of his guide dog Roselle. This story is the subject of his best-selling book, Thunder Dog. Michael gives over 100 presentations around the world each year speaking to influential groups such as Exxon Mobile, AT&T, Federal Express, Scripps College, Rutgers University, Children’s Hospital, and the American Red Cross just to name a few. He is Ambassador for the National Braille Literacy Campaign for the National Federation of the Blind and also serves as Ambassador for the American Humane Association’s 2012 Hero Dog Awards. https://michaelhingson.com https://www.facebook.com/michael.hingson.author.speaker/ https://twitter.com/mhingson https://www.youtube.com/user/mhingson https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelhingson/ accessiBe Links https://accessibe.com/ https://www.youtube.com/c/accessiBe https://www.linkedin.com/company/accessibe/mycompany/ https://www.facebook.com/accessibe/ Thanks for listening! Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below! Subscribe to the podcast If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher. You can also subscribe in your favorite podcast app. Leave us an Apple Podcasts review Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts. Transcription Notes
Michael Hingson ** 00:00 Access Cast and accessiBe Initiative presents Unstoppable Mindset. The podcast where inclusion, diversity and the unexpected meet. Hi, I'm Michael Hingson, Chief Vision Officer for accessiBe and the author of the number one New York Times bestselling book, Thunder dog, the story of a blind man, his guide dog and the triumph of trust. Thanks for joining me on my podcast as we explore our own blinding fears of inclusion unacceptance and our resistance to change. We will discover the idea that no matter the situation, or the people we encounter, our own fears, and prejudices often are our strongest barriers to moving forward. The unstoppable mindset podcast is sponsored by accessiBe, that's a c c e s s i capital B e. Visit www.accessibe.com to learn how you can make your website accessible for persons with disabilities. And to help make the internet fully inclusive by the year 2025. Glad you dropped by we're happy to meet you and to have you here with us. Michael Hingson ** 01:21 Well welcome everyone to another episode of unstoppable mindset. I'm your host, Mike Hingson. And today we have Tessa Lynne Alburn. Tessa for short. And we're really glad to hear Tessa is in Steamboat Springs, Colorado, we are a little jealous. Not too because I don't mind being in Victorville, although it's still not on the water or anything like that, like, like other places get to be. But But nevertheless, we cope with what we have. So Tessa really glad that you're here on unstoppable mindset with us today. Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 01:53 I'm really glad to be here, Michael. Thank you. Michael Hingson ** 01:57 Well, thanks for for having us, in your home and with you. And I'm going to have to learn all about this idea that you describe yourself as a feminine energy coach and other things we'll get to that. But why don't you start by telling us a little bit about the earlier Tessa? And where, where you came from what you did, and all your deep, dark secrets that you think we ought to know. And we won't tell Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 02:19 us? Yes, I might have to filter a few. But where's the Michael Hingson ** 02:23 fun in that? Typically, Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 02:24 the early days, I would say, you know, I was most people wouldn't guess this knowing me now. But I was very shy and introverted. And I was in a dysfunctional home, where my dad chose to work night shifts and things like that, or in other states whenever possible. So he was, you know, just unavailable or had escaped us in some way. And my mother had some emotional issues, and she would be what I would call a rageaholic. From time to time, she was she had a number of borderline attributes. And so, growing up, I was very scared. And doing that thing that they call walking on eggshells, right, like, when is the volcano going to explode? That sort of thing will get ready to run, you know, you just didn't quite know what was going to happen. That's okay. Yeah, I did okay, in school, because I was able to focus all my attention there, and, and then keep myself safe by being the smartest I could be and as perfect as I could be and be a good girl. So that's how I coped with it. Michael Hingson ** 03:32 Did you have siblings? Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 03:34 I had one younger sibling, three years younger than I was. And at first, it started out great, you know, I was sort of like helping to take care of her and nurturing her. And then pretty soon it became a competitive thing. And so we had a rough patch from like, you know, one, two, when I was almost 20 years old. And she, she had gone overseas with a rotary exchange program. And when she came back, it was like talking with a different person entirely. It was so great. Yeah. Because she'd been out of the household, number one and live with a really loving family. And she'd been exposed to an entirely different culture. She lived in Sweden for a year. And so she gathered this worldly sense about her. And when she came back, she was like, Oh, I kind of get you now. You know, like, we can be compatible. And so we kissed and made up. Michael Hingson ** 04:38 Wow. So you guys get along? Well, still. Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 04:42 We do. She's a dear person, and we live many miles away from one another. But she has two amazing kids and a wonderful husband and and she's got his whole family over there. And so everybody's very supportive and loving. Where do they live? They're in Maryland. Michael Hingson ** 05:01 That's a little. That's eastern Colorado, Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 05:03 right? Not Colorado. Exactly. East of Colorado. Michael Hingson ** 05:09 Maryland is just eastern Colorado, just like California is western Colorado. Right? Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 05:14 Exactly. He's on a little place called the Magath the river. So she gets to be near water. And it's quite lovely over there. Michael Hingson ** 05:23 So do you have husband children or any of those kinds of things? Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 05:26 I do not. I am. happily single. Michael Hingson ** 05:32 Someone has to keep the trend, right. Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 05:34 Yes. Um, although I do entertain the idea of relationship Michael Hingson ** 05:37 someday. Yeah, we'll see how that goes. That's right. Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 05:41 I just have so many things on my plate. Like in terms of why I'm here, I feel like, you know, my sole purpose. And my sole mission is actually the number one thing in my life. So I'm happy about that. Michael Hingson ** 05:53 My wife and I got married in our early 30s. And we just hadn't found the right persons for each other. And we didn't know each other. We met in January of 1982. And we were married in November of 1982. But we immediately hit it off. And we knew that we found soulmates and the right the right people. And so it clearly was sort of the right choice, because we live together until she passed away last November. So we were married for two years. And, you know, but you're right. It's got to be the right person. And you've got to, you got to know that and you'll know it when it happens if it happens. Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 06:29 Exactly. And I feel like you know, spirit will definitely knock me on the shoulders tapped me on the shoulders. If If and when that person comes in, right. Michael Hingson ** 06:40 Yeah. So, so you Where are you from originally? Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 06:46 Originally? I am from the state of Florida. Okay, fine state. Michael Hingson ** 06:52 Yeah. The humidity state? Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 06:55 Yes, that's a little more accurate, isn't it? Michael Hingson ** 06:59 I'm a fan of the old folk group, the Kingston Trio and they have a song called the Everglades and one of the lines is if the Gators don't get you than the Skeeters will. Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 07:08 Oh, my goodness, that's hysterical. I don't remember that song. But I do remember the Kingston Trio. And yes, it's it is true. The gators or maybe the snakes? Michael Hingson ** 07:19 Well, there's after the snakes as well. Yeah, the Gators snakes and Skeeters. They're all there. That's That's true. So did you go to school and stay in Florida? Or how long were you guys there? Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 07:32 I did not. We, my dad worked for McDonnell Douglas. And so we had this lifestyle of moving around to different missile sites and things and always coming back for a number of years coming back to the Cape Canaveral area. And so my last year of school, I, I went to junior high and Florida and Mississippi, came back to Florida, went to high school for a year then went up to New York state for a year and then to Pennsylvania for a year so that my high school and junior high was just a real journey in adaptability. Michael Hingson ** 08:09 What was that? Like? Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 08:10 It was intense. Yeah. Now, I think one of the fun things that I remember is when I was younger, in Florida, I had a best friend that was from Georgia. So I had a real southern drawl, just kind of like her. And when I moved up to New York State, I was definitely kind of a standout person and people didn't know what to think of me. Maybe they thought I was dumb at first, but they figured out I wasn't and I learned to drop that accent most of the time. You don't hear it from me, but it I do think of that kind of fondly. Because some of my my teachers were like, oh, that's special. Let's hear that y'all. Y'all Michael Hingson ** 08:49 know. All y'all and yes. Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 08:53 So the moving moving was a kind of an intensity in our family. Michael Hingson ** 08:57 That must have been fun. Do you have any analysis of how that affected you? Yes. made you a gypsy? Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 09:12 Yes. Well, now I'm a nomadic Gypsy, digital nomad, a bohemian Gypsy, whatever you want to call it. And at first I was resisting that urge to wander and be in different places. And then I realized I had the skills so along with the heartache of being torn away from friends with no time to have closure or transition constantly, and my youth suddenly coming home and be like, pack up your room. We're moving next week. And you know, coming home from like summer camp, and it's just shocking, right? Especially at that age where we're one is developing the Um, hormones for boys and like relationships with older boys in the high school and that sort of thing. And I was just kind of getting a first year of popularity and then boom are gone again. And then I'm nobody. So it was like popular no one or no one too popular or now I gotta work my way back up. And then I've got to hang out with cool kids and I got to hang out in the girls room and smoke cigarettes to fit in or skip school and play hooky and be bad, you know. So there were a lot of influences that happened as a result of moving. And I think the one thing that it did help with at home was kept me kind of out of my mom's hair. So there was, I was able to feel a little more powerful when I started to rebel. But there was definitely a big rebellion that happened. When it was totally necessary for me to start to feel safe. And like I had any kind of purchase in this life. Michael Hingson ** 10:57 Did you have any real major trauma traumatic kinds of things that happened to you as a child as so many, many kids do? Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 11:04 Yes, yes. And so many do. And I think most of the time, we don't know that about the people all around us. And sometimes it's hard to hear those things. But yes, I had, I had a number of things, but I'll say the the main one, one of the big ones that I didn't realize how it was impacting me too much later in life was a near drowning event. And that was in Florida. And as you might well imagine, you know, it was very swampy, dark water grassy with alligators and and snapping turtles and you know, creepy, creepy, weird fish called Mud puppies, and things you just don't want to come in contact with. And I was sweeping the dock off. We used to go visit friends of ours who had this little cabin out in this underdeveloped area off of little a Kara's, it's probably super developed now, but back then it wasn't. And you took your boat and you went along the canals to go to the little fishing tackle store and get your milk. And that was it, you brought everything else with you. And there were just fields and fields of tall grasses, probably filled with all kinds of critters. And and the dock was just kind of basic, it didn't have a railing or anything. We used to just have the little skiff and we would go out fly fishing and things like that. And I was about nine years old then. And we went there in wintertime. So I had on all these sweaters this big, I'll never forget that I had this one huge hand knitted sweater that was probably a half inch thick. But just because of all the yarn that was used to make it, I was wearing that and sweeping off the dock. And I got vertigo, as I didn't realize at the time that I had a vertigo problem. And so I was there I was sweeping. And then I just my head just spun and spun. And I just tipped over and fell. And I was a good swimmer. So nobody had ever thought of, well, we have to keep the kids and life jackets or anything like that, because we were all really comfortable in the water. But when I hit the water, it was very, very cold. And I just dissociated, I'm pretty sure that would be a psychological term that happened. Where I, I had a consciousness that was like, Oh, I have to get out of here. But I was so cold, I could barely it felt like I could barely move. And then all the weight of the winter clothing on me was just dragging me down. And it was dragging me down to the bottom of the canal. And they're they're built deep. You know, they're like, I don't know, 12 to 15 feet deep, those canals. That's a lot for a little kid. And the only thing that kept me coming up that I felt like was really driving me on was the terror of the icky things down there. Michael Hingson ** 14:16 I don't want to get to the bottom of that canal. Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 14:18 Exactly like the month no. And I would kind of I felt like I was pushing up. I don't know if I really reached the bottom and I was not fully conscious. But I felt like I was just struggling to get to the top get to the top and then I get this little gasp of air and then I'd sink more and then I'd do the same thing over and over. And I could feel the every now and then I could feel the underneath of the top of the dock. There was nothing to hold on to Yeah. And I just kept going under fortunately, oh fortunately an angel a couple of angels were there. And one of them was my little play friend who was couple years younger than me in He saw that I was in the water and he plan to shock. And so it was like, ah you know Harry's My name is Terry at the time Terry's in the water, Terry Phelan Terry fell, and he's like whispering it. But fortunately, his dad was up on a ladder, about 30 feet away. And he finally got mad. And he's like, he was old salt, Donald. And he saw me splashing, I guess, and he just leapt off that ladder, and came down and yanked me out. And yeah, I was safe. Yeah. Although extremely stunned for at least 24 hours. Michael Hingson ** 15:44 Yeah. What do you think you learn from that, um, as you as you developed? If you were to put a positive thing out, I mean, it was certainly traumatic. And there's, we could talk about that a lot, I'm sure. But what what positive? Did you learn from that? Do you think? Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 16:02 Well, couple things. I mean, a couple of practical thing is, we all need love and comfort. And one of the things I didn't get at the time was that and so later in my life, I realized I was having kind of like this dread, that the creepy things were gonna get me and that I was gonna suffocate. And I needed to heal that. So I learned that one can heal that. And I think that's been really powerful for me, because growing up the way that I did, I had felt like a victim most of the time. But when I realized I could do something about it, I can actually heal the psychological scars, and take action and get, even if it was, however many years 3030 plus years later, I could still get the healing that I needed. And resolve that in myself, so that the psychological impact didn't have to keep moving forward with me. From then on. Michael Hingson ** 17:09 How did she figure that out? Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 17:11 Well, the hard way. Because I kind of hit rock bottom, what happened was I I went traveling, and I went to Costa Rica, and I was without enough friends. For too long when I was there. And I remember taking, I was asked to kind of look after this person's hostel while they went on vacation. And when they were gone, I was just so sad. And I felt like I was gonna die. And I was like, What is going on ma'am? And beautiful Costa Rica. You know, there's snorkeling here. It's like everything I wanted for this idea of this trip that I had taken. And then suddenly, I was depressed. And then I had this connection. In my mind, I just kind of saw this connection, that somehow the fear of death when I was underwater, was connected to my thought that I was gonna die or that I needed to die. And I was like, That is no good. Right? Michael Hingson ** 18:19 And you hadn't let go? Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 18:22 I did. Yeah. I hadn't been able to resolve the psychological trauma and the emotional trauma or the physical. And so I went about healing and a variety of ways. And I'll tell you one of the ones that cinched it for me, I did a number of things, and they were all good, and they all helped. But the thing that finally cleared it was something called ar e t, rapid eye therapy. And it's kind of like EMDR. So there's a stimulus to your eyes, as you recall certain parts of the story. And then basically you retell the story to yourself in a way that's empowering, that gives another meaning to the event. And the power for men comes in and kind of clears your cells and clears your memory and gives you a second memory. And it's a really can be a beautiful process. So I'm really, really grateful to all the practitioners who've helped me over the years. And that was a big, big turning point for me. And it also gave me the ability to hold that space for others when they're going through something really deep and dark. Michael Hingson ** 19:40 I gather you didn't get a lot of support from your your parents after you fell in the water. Correct? Yeah, they saw unfortunate. Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 19:51 Yes. It was unfortunate but you know, they really did do the best that they could. It just wasn't when I need it, Michael Hingson ** 20:00 yeah, yeah. Well, and, and it's great that you are able to, to recognize that now. And it sounds like you're not angry at them, because they were who they were. And there's nothing we can do about other people like that. I mean, like that, not people like that, but rather people who have those characteristics and traits or any characteristics and traits, we all make our own choices. Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 20:29 Absolutely. Part of me wants to laugh when you say like you never, you know, I don't get mad at them. Right. Because occasionally I do still, but not. Michael Hingson ** 20:38 But but not for that. But yeah. But you're able to deal with things and move on. I understand Absolutely. Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 20:44 Right, like accepting them that would, given who they were in the lives they had. And of course, I learned more and more about them as I grew up. I came to understand that they literally just didn't have the capacity wasn't that they didn't want to help me. Yeah. Yeah. They just short circuited. They didn't know how to do that. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So they yelled at me get in bed that was never talked about it again. And dry Michael Hingson ** 21:11 off. Exactly. Are dry up. But anyway, either way. Well, so did you. Yeah. Well, anyway. So did you go off to college after high school? 21:24 I did Michael Hingson ** 21:25 want to go do that. Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 21:27 I was able to go to a music university in the state of Pennsylvania, where I studied flute and voice and I was a big fish in a little pond. Michael Hingson ** 21:39 Wow, there you go. I've read. Have you ever read the book. It's called David and Goliath. It's written by the gentleman who wrote the tipping point. Gladstone, Gladstone. And one of the things he talks about in there are people who make the wrong choices of going to college. They think it's important to go to Harvard and all that. And when they get there to discover their or any of the big schools, they discovered their very little fish in a very huge pond. Whereas if they would go to other schools, and then he gave some examples of people who did that, although it wasn't necessarily their intent, they ended up being pretty big fish and much littler ponds and got a much better education, and college experience. As a result. Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 22:29 I have no doubt that that's true for many, many people. Of course, there's going to be the the stars, the people who rise to the surface right away and get the attention and all the support that they need in this big schools. But in a smaller school, you can carve your way through like a little more stylized for yourself, or customize or get the attention that you need in certain areas. And I was able to do that in certain ways. I had the complete attention of my flute teacher who really taught me taught me amazing things about playing the flute. And I had the opportunity to solo a lot in all the ensembles and choirs and all all of that. So that gave me a lot of grounding and actual performance and musicianship, Michael Hingson ** 23:19 do you still play the flute? Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 23:21 Only on occasion, but I do still sing now. Yes, my style has now shifted to kind of a sound healing style. So I do use it sometimes with clients. And what I would call it I don't know if you're familiar with this. Sometimes I receive kind of like a channeling of light language. And so the words don't necessarily make any sense. But the tones and the sounds that come through are very healing for the people that they come through for. Michael Hingson ** 23:55 I occasionally do karaoke. That's as close as I go. There Michael Hingson ** 23:58 you go. That's pretty healing. I do a mean Mack the Knife. What can I say? The show? Yeah. And a few others like that. But Threepenny Opera. Wonderful. Michael Hingson ** 24:13 There you go, but it's fun, you know, and then it's intended to be fun. I've also heard at a few karaoke places, people who really do need to keep their day jobs, but that's okay. Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 24:26 I would tell you, I'm terrible at karaoke. I don't know what happens. I start to freeze up. It's so strange. I guess I'm so used to being a performer. Yeah, it's hard for me to just like, do something spontaneous and have to be relying on the words and the weird sound that's coming through the speakers at a bar, you know, with funny echoes and all of that, but that's cool that you do what's best for Michael Hingson ** 24:51 me for me. I need to know the words in advance. So I press the screen so I did pretty well. With it, it's fun. Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 25:02 So how do you so do you pick your songs ahead of time and then tell the DJ what you want? Michael Hingson ** 25:06 Yeah, they usually give people a choice of, or at least the places I've been to, I can choose what I want to sing. So I'll tell them in advance, which works out well. Otherwise, I what I have never tried is standing up with a song that I don't really know. And having somebody whispering the words to me, and that might work. But we had to work out we'd have to really work out the timing of doing it. So it's an experiment worth trying some time. Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 25:33 Yes, that could be interesting. I could sort of see you with an earpiece, right. And they're like, like, you're like a covert spy. Yeah. And they're whispering in your ear saying, This singing like this? Michael Hingson ** 25:45 Or at least telling me the words, you know? Yes. And I do I do a good version of 16 tons by Tennessee, Ernie Ford. But the problem with me doing 16 tons is I cheat. I've also heard there's a duo Homer and Jethro, who used to really do play offs on Country and Western stuff. And they, they were they, they did parodies of everything. So their course to 16 tons goes, you load 16 tons. How do you feel too tired to work or too scared to steal St. Peter, don't you call on me today? Because I'm a dick in the other way. So I always have to put that in there somewhere. Oh, my goodness. Yeah. You know, there's no sense. Not having fun with it. Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 26:31 Exactly. I find is, is an essential part of life. Like, if we're not going to have fun. What's the point? Michael Hingson ** 26:39 Exactly. So what did you do after college? After Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 26:44 college? Michael Hingson ** 26:45 I must have done something. Oh, yes, Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 26:47 of course. My first wonder place was to go to New York City. Michael Hingson ** 26:53 Ah, and what year was that? That would have been 1980. Okay, so you were well, prior to the World Trade Center not being there. So yeah, the skyline? Did you see King Kong up on the building or any of those things? Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 27:07 Oh, oh, gosh, the days it was, you know, the full throttle, Big Apple just everything booming. And it was pre aids, also. Yeah. Right. Like, I mean, that was starting to happen. But no, the word wasn't out yet. And I was in the city when that hit. Note became a thing. And, of course, there were a lot of people in my circle, a lot of men who were, you know, very affected by that stare and work through it in some way. And then there was kind of a new age awakening in the city. And I was so grateful. I got to go to Lincoln Center when Eric and Olga Butterworth were there. And what a speaker he is, and then she led the guided meditations. Wow. And it was just phenomenal. You would just sit in your chair and be transported, you know, suddenly, all the whole rooms was like, filled with light I fought. And you know, I'm transported to some wonderful loving place, I had a huge impact on me, and my spiritual life. And then there was a singer. His name was Steven something. I'm gonna forget what his last name was. And he was a tenor. And he was amazing. And so he would say, you know, every, every week, he would do some solo that would just knock your socks off. Michael Hingson ** 28:32 Yeah. Yeah. I mean, there's nothing like New York. And I think that is still true. Although there's obviously been a lot of change, but there's nothing like New York. Nothing like it. That's true. We enjoyed going to Broadway, especially musicals. And of course, nothing like seeing a musical on Broadway. One of your favorites. Well, Phantom of the Opera was clearly one of the ones that we love. We my wife and I went to see it three times. Chicago was another one. I saw The Music Man, I think a couple times. That's one of my favorites of all times movie or musical. That's fabulous. Yeah, we actually saw Rebecca lucar as Marian in well, it was before we moved down here. So is it like 2000 or maybe early 2001. And I learned that she died from ALS in 2020. And I had seen her perform the year before just online somewhere. But that was pretty sad. Probably though one of my favorite all times is we got to see Matthew Broderick and Nathan Lane and the producers. Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 29:44 Oh, no kidding. Oh, that would have been fun. Michael Hingson ** 29:47 It was better than the movie even but, but it was a lot of fun. Yeah, as I said, there's nothing like New York. Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 29:55 Nothing at all. And there's also nothing like your mom embarrassing you in the theater either when she asked the star for their signature or when you're stuck on an elevator with them. We got so embarrassed, but Michael Hingson ** 30:12 I can't give her credit for her though she had the courage to do it. That's okay. Exactly. And did she get the signature? She did. There you go see? So what are you complaining about? Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 30:21 Exactly? I just remember like, oh, no, you're not supposed to do that. Because New Yorkers were all uptight, you know? Yeah, cool. Michael Hingson ** 30:29 We went to see the Lion King and my niece. Well, our Karen's brother and his wife. And our niece, who was three at the time went with us to see the Lion King. And we got in because there was a friend of Gary's Karen's brother, who knew some of the actors and got us tickets. And so we're in there, as it as it started, of course, the music and everything is wonderful. And then the hyenas came in and what they do to make their entrances, they come in from the top of the theater, walking down the aisles, growling as they go by. And one of them got right up to Karen course, Karen sitting there in a wheelchair accessible seat or space in her wheelchair. This hyena comes right up to her and goes, you never saw a woman who is a paraplegic suddenly jump and almost hit the ceiling was amazing. But afterward, we got to go behind the scenes. And Alana, our three year old niece, just had, as Karen describes the eyes as big as saucers, with all the animals and everything during the play. And then we went behind the scenes, and we got to beat Mustapha, and some of the other other people. And Karen even said, they did such a good job on the design that you forget that those are people who are working those puppets, Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 31:48 which is magical, then when that happens? Yeah, it Michael Hingson ** 31:52 was. So you went to New York, and you had fun there. And you've you've wandered a bunch, you said, you have a wanderlust spirit. And I have Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 32:00 I left I left New York in the late 80s. And came out west to California and spent 15 years in LA and Santa Monica went up to northern California. And somewhere in between all of that I was also on tour in a band. And yeah, so I went to a bunch of different states and sang in Louisiana, at the no name saloon. And in Hobbs, New Mexico, all kinds of fun places, Missouri, and we had a an Elvis impersonator. And it was, you know, the time of my life, enjoying that, and just really getting to see a lot of different towns meet a lot of different people. And eventually Michael Hingson ** 32:48 doing Oh, go ahead. Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 32:49 Yeah, no, just eventually winding up following more of a soul path than a talent path. Michael Hingson ** 32:56 Okay? Because I was gonna say you're not doing the band, essentially. Right. So what do you do now? Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 33:04 Well, I am a feminine energy mastery coach for women. So I help them learn how to express their voices and their true selves in a feminine way, so that they're heard and understood. So they don't have to over masculine eyes, you know, to be heard or right or be the loudest voice in the room, or the smartest voice in the room, they can just be themselves. So I help them with that. And I do what I would call soul coaching, which is helping helping people to understand more the messages of their soul, and what their gifts are their innate gifts, not necessarily their talents, although a talent could be connected to it. But it's like something that comes from deep within, you know, like, behind their heart. It's like the spark that creates all of them. And so I help might help somebody say, find their purpose, or create greater abundance, but it's always going to be through that lens of the soul and the values, the high values that come with your soul. Michael Hingson ** 34:17 Tell me if you would some examples of what that means. Some people may be who, whose gifts you help them discover and what kind of gifts you found and so on. I'm fascinated by it, and I absolutely respect what you do. Although, if if I have to say so not trying to be too bigoted women, I find her oftentimes a whole heck of a lot smarter than men. Anyway, my wife was always smarter than me. So you'll you'll always find me Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 34:48 that you are a very smart man for thinking that and saying that especially she Michael Hingson ** 34:51 was always ahead of me on so many things. And I mean, there were times I was ahead, but it just was the way it was. and I respected that and loved it right from the outset. So it's one of the things that I miss and valued so much when when she was here, there's so many examples of that. But anyway, so what are some examples of gifts and so on that you've helped people discover? Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 35:17 Well, people sometimes find themselves like in jobs, where they're like, Oh, I'm good at this thing. But then they start pushing at the edges of the job box. And they find themselves maybe in an uncomfortable position, because they have bigger ideas. They're like, Oh, this could happen with us. And this could happen with that. And usually, those are the kinds of people I work with, because they do have a brilliance beyond what is recognize, typically. And sometimes it causes ruffles. Like, say, for example, I had a client, who was a consultant and was ruffling feathers, because she was brilliant. And there was jealousy, and there's this and there's that. And then there's some people that just they don't know how to handle it. And they're like, We don't, we don't know what to do with all your ideas. So we're just gonna shut you down, right. So that person eventually like, either wears out or gets sick, or just starts to think there's something really wrong with them. And maybe they start, you know, escaping going on a lot of vacations, or drinking too much, or eating bad foods, or whatever it is. And if they come to me, and we work together, what what happens is they discover that they've got a bigger vision for humanity, than what that particular role was allowing them to express. Right, so they might learn that they're a visionary, they might suddenly realize that they're going to start a project, you know, for some fiber, one, three, C, that's going to change the world, you know, create water for villages in Africa, or whatever the idea is. But the problem was that they're just told that you don't fit in and you have to quiet down and etc. But when they really understand that it's coming from a much deeper, truer place, this this propensity, that they have to push against those boundaries. And instead of making themselves wrong, they realize and learn how to connect to the universe's calling to the greater cosmic forces that are actually there to support them, then they become freed up, to be themselves to express themselves to ask for what they need to get to the sport to get the financial support, whatever it is, and they they become empowered. Michael Hingson ** 37:53 Sometimes, do you help them recognize that maybe rather than just trying to continue to say ideas, because they're very enthusiastic about what they do that strategically, being a little bit more patient may be helpful, or does that enter into it? Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 38:09 Well, sometimes Absolutely, yeah. So they usually go through phases, they'll go through a phase first, where they've been super patient, not saying anything, they might not even believe their ideas are that great. And then they're like, wait a second, I see the solutions here. And then they try to speak up, but they don't know who to go to. And they don't understand how the corporation works. So that's where often where patients can pay off. But they also need to know that they're not just like in a waiting room somewhere. Right? Right. Right. Yeah, they need a plan. They need to know Yes, Patience is important. But there are also moves they could be making that would fit that would be acceptable. And to not give up when they're in the waiting room, but to keep going and taking steps toward their dream, Michael Hingson ** 39:00 maybe being a little bit more strategic about part of the process. Absolutely. Yeah. And I think men and women, I think women probably tend to express emotions more and men think that they shouldn't, which is unfortunate, but I think people in general, so often never learned how to be strategic and what they do. Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 39:25 That's true. I think so many of us women in particular, do seem to have a bent towards perfectionism, because that's what got them accepted, right in the family system and then in schools or wherever. And we still see it today. Like if you watch some of these reality shows, you'll see that like a man will do a certain behaviors say a certain thing. A women woman will do the exact same thing and get just like you're a bench or a witch. Yeah. Big bright judgments. And so there's a way that we can present that and communicate, you know, to connect with other people first, rather than just like showing up with all these big ideas, because we have to know are these people ready to hear it? Michael Hingson ** 40:19 Yeah. And unfortunately, our society still says we're going to be much more ready to hear it from a man than a woman, even though oftentimes, women are going to give the smarter and more in depth idea. And it happens all too often. And it is unfortunate that women are so often shut down. Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 40:43 Yes, and they can do something about it. And it's not beating a drum. And it's not making other people wrong. It's finding a better way to communicate, and a better way to connect first, to have your one's ideas heard. And may it may even involve presentational skills or leadership skills, right, that we don't necessarily learn. Nobody taught us. Right. Right, we have been in that position before. And they're doing pretty well, because they're figuring it out as they go. But sometimes we actually need those skills to take us to the next level. So the idea can be heard. Yeah. Michael Hingson ** 41:20 And it's a matter of learning how to, to make that process work. And you know, I know that, that there are any number of people with disabilities blind and otherwise who are in the same boat, that we may have very good idea, though, but you're blind, how could you possibly know? And we see it way too often. Because we've got too many people who are just locked into stereotypes, which is so unfortunate. Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 41:47 For a flip, then going to the other extreme, oh, they're blind, maybe they can help with this hearing project. Making assumptions, right. I know, I'm sure I've been guilty of something like that in my past, but I think more and more people are making an effort to do something and be more equitable. But yes, I mean, you've you've really been through it. Michael Hingson ** 42:10 Yeah, it's it's a matter of really keeping it in perspective. And, you know, when something doesn't work out, right, it's important to step back and look at it. What's the problem? What can I do to make it better next time. And so often, we don't take time to analyze what we do right and wrong in the course of any given day. Oh, we don't have time for that. Well, it's always time. It's a matter of priority. Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 42:37 I love that. Yes, absolutely. Just taking a few minutes at the end of every day, a few minutes in the morning, right? Yes, yeah, digest, reflect and be responsible for what we did. Michael Hingson ** 42:53 You know, it gets back to meditation and slowing down and listening to what there is to be offered. We just don't do that nearly as much as we ought to. Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 43:03 What kind of meditation Do you like to do, Michael? Michael Hingson ** 43:07 Well, I've learned Transcendental Meditation. And I do that some, and sometimes I just slow down and stop at the end of the day. And I look inward. And don't try to make any decisions. Don't try to think about anything specific. But as thoughts come up, I'll look at them, especially if it's about what went on during the day. And what can I learn from it? I've learned over the years that one of the worst things that I used to say until literally fairly recently, as I'm my own worst critic, I always listen to speeches when I travel and speak and talk about September 11, or trust and teamwork, or the human animal bond or whatever. And I've been traveling and doing this for almost 22 years now since September 11. I always record my speeches, and I go back and listen to them. And I've said to people, I do it because I'm my own worst critic. And if I can decide something from that, then that's great. What I've learned is wrong thing to say, I'm my own best teacher, because the reality is, I'm the only one that can really teach me. Teachers can offer information, but I need to be the one to teach me and learn it. And so I've learned that the poor positive approach is the right one. I'm my own best teacher. And so I like to look at what goes on in the course of the day. And look at it from the standpoint of a teaching experience. I do agree there's no such thing as failure. It's all about being learning experiences. Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 44:38 It absolutely is. And I love that you ask that question. So you're not saying Well, what did I do wrong today? Or what was bad about that? You're saying, Oh, can I learn from this? Yeah, right. That's that's what I would call a quality question. Michael Hingson ** 44:52 What didn't work right, from my perspective, and did it really not work right or is it me? And if it didn't work, right, what do I do? Next time, I could end up in that same situation, and I think those are fair questions, and we can only really confront it for ourselves. Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 45:08 Yes, I think that's great that so you're making me think of sort of like this. Sometimes I have clients do kind of this biofeedback program. No tests away. So it's not scientific at all. It's but it is that personal reflection method, where you're really, you need to know what you're listening for what you're looking for, right, in order to actually give yourself a valuable critique. Yeah, and not being picky, uni perfectionistic, that sort of thing. But actually, like looking at, well, what's really important here? And how might I do this better? Oh, okay, gee, I just got like, three ideas there. That's kind of cool. I'm going to try one out. Michael Hingson ** 45:55 And it may be that you might not know upfront what you're looking for, but at least you ask the question, What am I looking for? What should I learn from this? And that will come? Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 46:04 Yes, it does, doesn't it? Michael Hingson ** 46:08 It always will come if we take the time to listen. Well, as you've learned and grown, what have you learned about faith? Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 46:17 Faith? There's a big question, right? Michael Hingson ** 46:20 Yes, yes. So, Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 46:22 you know, I'm kind of thinking back to that time where I almost drowned. And I think the thing that was so hard about it was this idea that I was just going to die. And it would, that would just be it. And there would be nothing else except terror, somehow there was going to be this terror, terror involved. And I have come to, to learn that there's so much more to life. And there's so much more to us that that was just a child's way to process what was happening. Because my brain wasn't developed enough. And so now, thankfully, my brain is much more developed. And I have the ability to receive information and to know things without necessarily scientific facts. And I know that I know them because I know it. And you're gonna me, right. And I'm an also, I think there was a turning point for me and my consciousness around the idea that the universe is actually my friend. Yeah. And it's a loving kind universe. Right? And if anybody tells you anything different, like, you don't have to choose to believe that just because they do. Yeah. So when we create, right, we just create the world we want to live in. And then we connect in with that energy, because the energy is free, and it's everywhere. It's available. Yes. Michael Hingson ** 48:02 And if they choose not to believe that the universe is a kind universe, we can't force them to change. All we can do is say things like, and how's your world really going for you? And think about that, and maybe they will, and maybe they won't, but at least you plant the seed and you see where it goes from there. Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 48:24 Yes, plant the seed and be a role model. Michael Hingson ** 48:27 Yes, always be a role model. And I there's nothing wrong with being a role model, as far as I'm concerned. Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 48:35 No, and I think the more conscious we are about the role model, the roles that we play, the greater impact we can have. And just, you know, a moment with somebody in an elevator moment, just passing somebody on the sidewalk can change someone's life. Michael Hingson ** 48:57 What's one thing you'd like people to know who are listening to us? There's a deep quest I, Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 49:03 yes. I'd like them to know that even if you feel alone, at times. You're actually not. And so it's okay to feel that way. But it's just a feeling. It's not the absolute truth. And so allow yourself to just explore oh, what would it be like if I had if I wasn't alone in this? Like, what if the universe is my friend? What if, like, the trees are my friend? Well, you can just choose whatever you want to you know, the air is my friend. What if I'm not really alone? I just feeling alone. Okay. Oh, that's interesting. And what might I need next? You know, maybe I need I do want to call a friend or maybe I do want to call somebody I haven't thought of in a long time or just go out and talk to another soul. Michael Hingson ** 49:54 Yeah. It makes perfect sense to do that. Have you written any books or anything 50:01 I have not written in, Michael Hingson ** 50:02 oh my goodness, there's a job for you. I have written Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 50:05 course material, I have so much course material. It's not even funny. But that's where most of my writing has gone into, like instructional trainings and things of that nature. Michael Hingson ** 50:15 Do you have online courses available? Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 50:17 I will have some I, I am in a transition right now. I'm shifting my brand to say yes to your soul. And so I'm creating materials for that right now. And those will be available soon. And in the meantime, I do have free gifts. So if somebody wants to go if if there's an entrepreneur out there, who wants a little support on a few topics, I've got some videos, I've got an audio right now available to anybody who wants it called to help you connect with your soul truth. Sounds like a guided experience. Yeah. Michael Hingson ** 50:56 And so how can people Yeah, how can people reach out to you? How can they get those and learn more about you and maybe contact you to? To get some help? Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 51:04 Yes, they can go to Tessa. T E S S A freegift.com. Tessa free gift.com And there's a signup page. And they can sign up and they'll get a modest amount of emails from me. And I don't share information. I definitely want to respect that. And as soon as you receive an email from me, that's my email if you want to reach out from there you can Michael Hingson ** 51:33 Well, there you go test a free gift. Calm. Yeah. And yeah, sorry. Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 51:39 Go on. You know, I am on social Of course. Yeah. Facebook, my name. 51:46 Tessa Alburn. A L B U R N, right? Yeah. Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 51:50 And I'm on Insta, it's realized soul with Tessa. And I'm on LinkedIn. Like, I'm the only Tessa Alburn, which is kind of cool. So you're gonna find me? Michael Hingson ** 52:02 I have discovered there is more than one Michael hingson in the world, but I don't. We've never I've never run into them. But I know they're out there. So well. Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 52:12 That's great. It's one of the things, Michael Hingson ** 52:14 I want to thank you for being with us. I really greatly appreciate your time. And I know you've got things to go do. I would love it when you get course material or you get links to all that if you would pass it on, because we'll make sure it gets in the show notes. It's gonna be a couple of months or three months before this goes up. Something for you. Oh, get it to us, by all means when this comes up pastic. And the other thing is if you need this to go up sooner, because you want to promote the course stuff when they come out, let me know. But we'll help. Oh, that's so thoughtful. Thank Michael Hingson ** 52:48 you I plan to help any Michael Hingson ** 52:49 way that we can. And I hope that people will reach out to you, Tessa, free gifts, free gifts s or just gift singular for singular, says a free gift.com and that they will reach out to you. And I hope that you all will reach out to me. I'd love to hear what you think about the episode that we're just finishing. And also of course, we would appreciate it if you give us a five star rating and we value that very highly let us know with reviews. But those five star ratings we love. If you'd like to reach out to me I'm easy to find it's Michaelhi at accessibe A C C E S S I B E.com Or go to our podcast page www dot Michael hingson.com/podcast. And Michael hingson is m i c h a e l h i n g s o n.com/podcasts. So please reach out. Tessa for you. And for anyone listening. If you know anyone who you think we ought to have as a guest on this unstoppable mindset podcast series, please let us know we're always looking for more people to meet and to get to know. Because I love to learn and I love to share. So please, if you know anyone let us know. But Tessa, delighted to please. And I want to thank you one last time for being here with us and for giving us your time. So thank you very much for all that you've been able to bring to us today. And we look forward to you being on again and hearing about more your adventures. Tessa Lynne Alburn ** 54:17 Thank you Michael. It's really been a pleasure. **Michael Hingson ** 54:25 You have been listening to the Unstoppable Mindset podcast. Thanks for dropping by. I hope that you'll join us again next week, and in future weeks for upcoming episodes. To subscribe to our podcast and to learn about upcoming episodes, please visit www dot Michael hingson.com slash podcast. Michael Hingson is spelled m i c h a e l h i n g s o n. While you're on the site., please use the form there to recommend people who we ought to interview in upcoming editions of the show. And also, we ask you and urge you to invite your friends to join us in the future. If you know of any one or any organization needing a speaker for an event, please email me at speaker at Michael hingson.com. I appreciate it very much. To learn more about the concept of blinded by fear, please visit www dot Michael hingson.com forward slash blinded by fear and while you're there, feel free to pick up a copy of my free eBook entitled blinded by fear. The unstoppable mindset podcast is provided by access cast an initiative of accessiBe and is sponsored by accessiBe. Please visit www.accessibe.com. accessiBe is spelled a c c e s s i b e. There you can learn all about how you can make your website inclusive for all persons with disabilities and how you can help make the internet fully inclusive by 2025. Thanks again for listening. Please come back and visit us again next week.
