Feb. 16, 2022

Fall in LOVE with your Money

Fall in LOVE with your Money
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Season 1

February is LOVE month, and falling in love with your money can be just as romantic as finding your ideal partner!...... Or at least I think it can be, so in this episode, I share how you can embrace a loving relationship with your money. A healthy relationship with money is key to building wealth. It starts by giving yourself permission to love your money, and then there are a few key steps to keeping the romance alive (which I share in this episode). Get ready to fall in love!   

About the Host:

I am a financial professional, who specializes in helping people to achieve their financial goals.  My absolute passion is creating new possibilities in people’s lives by showing them the ropes when it comes to money. I’m here to spark healthy and positive conversations around wealth and investment and create a world where nobody is limited by their financial situation. I believe this begins with education and shifting our relationships with money. I love getting to witness people achieving their most ambitious goals and creating new possibilities for themselves and their families! 

 

I love your questions! Reach out to me anytime at:  

Email: kalee.boisvert@raymondjames.ca

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kaleeboisvert/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/wealthandwelln2

https://www.facebook.com/kaleeboisvertwealthandwellness/

 

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Transcript
Kalee Boisvert:

Welcome to the wealth and wellness podcast with

Kalee Boisvert:

me Kaylie Bob air, I specialize in helping people to achieve

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their financial goals. I have a love for all things numbers, and

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I'm passionate about financial literacy. My goal is to spark

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healthy and positive conversations around wealth and

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investment, and create a world where nobody is limited by their

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financial situation. But wealth is just one piece of the

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equation of living our best lives. So join me as we explore

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both wealth and wellness topics. From your net worth to your self

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worth. Get ready to take confident action. Hello, this is

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Kaylee. And thank you so much for listening to this episode of

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the wealth and wellness podcast. Since this episode is going to

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air shortly after Valentine's Day, I thought it would be great

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to stick with the love theme and talk about falling in love with

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your money. So I'm not the relationship expert by any

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means. But relationship with your money. I can talk about

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that all day. Okay, so love, love is wonderful. We love love,

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right? Love is great. And I find, though that people have

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such mixed emotions when it comes to money. A lot of the

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times, it can be more in the realm of negative emotions that

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people have about their money. So feeling things like, you

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know, there's never enough money is a source of stress, maybe

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feeling insecure about where you are where you stand with your

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finances, having more of a lack mentality or a scarcity mindset.

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So there is often you know, a lot of negative emotions that

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come out that people have and hold about money. Well, if money

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is actually just energy, which, you know, from a lot of the the

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personal growth books and personal development books that

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I read they, they remind us about the power of energy and

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how money as many other things, money is just energy. So if

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we're to have negative thoughts and feelings towards money, it's

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not gonna serve you. And it may actually lead to a self

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fulfilling prophecy of attracting more of what you

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don't want. So if we're having this lack this scarcity mindset,

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we're stressed about money. Well, that's what's taking up

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our thoughts. When it comes to money, we can end up attracting

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more of that or stay really in that realm instead of being more

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in the positive. So no one, you know, the negative stuff that

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doesn't sound like fun, that's not exciting. So let's shift

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that energy and move it around being positive instead. So let's

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have a positive energy around money. And in this positive

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energy around money, let's take it even one step further and

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say, why not fall in love with your money even? Okay,

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hopefully, I'm not going on too much of a stretch right now. So

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you might say, okay, sure, let's fall in love with our money. Now

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what? So the first step that you need to take to actually give is

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to actually give yourself permission to fall in love with

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your money. So give yourself permission to love your money,

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that's going to be the key to starting this That's step one.

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Way to often, and especially I you know, I hate to like always

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say things, gender, comments about how it's different for men

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or women. But I see this more so in women, that the thought of

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loving your money, they fear could come off as being seen as

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selfish, greedy, materialistic, as women were really given the

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message that it's not as acceptable to express a desire

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to want money.

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How often when you hear a woman specifically, how often do we

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even hear women specifically talking about wanting a lot of

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money wanting to be a millionaire, you know, women

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negotiating women asking for raises. It doesn't happen as

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much as it does for men. So when men are talking about money, we

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often see that as you know, that they're, they're ambitious. And

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for women, it's then coming across as more negative so

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wanting more money or wanting to have money in abundance for

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women that's often seen as you know, people are almost

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judgmental of that versus in a men man's case. It's usually

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seen as like, that's fabulous. That's ambitious. He's out

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there, you know, me earning for his family and whatnot. And I

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know this is not always the case. And I'm not trying To make

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like sweeping generalizations, but it still happens. I know, as

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a woman, I'm not comfortable just going out, necessarily and

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saying, you know, I love money and just shouting, I love money

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and, and feeling okay with that. And, and again, so it's, it's

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it's different and for everyone's experiences, probably

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very different but I just want to stress that I think from a

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female experience, it just, it's maybe more so that there is some

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insecurities or some fears about expressing that even if we're

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looking like for women looking at money in how they relate to

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relationships, and when women are talking about their ideal

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partner, they're often afraid to even address the money topic

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because they're, they're scared of being judged, there's, you

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know, throwing out words, someone's throwing out words of

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saying like you're a gold digger than if you're looking for a man

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that has money. And there's nothing wrong with wanting to

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find a man that has, you know, abundance and a good money vibe,

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especially if you're wanting to bring that to the table as well,

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that Positive Money, Money energy. But unfortunately, we

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feel the need that we have to like skirt around the topic of

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wanting that to win our partner, because you don't want to come

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off. As you know, I'm just interested in someone's money,

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or I'm a gold digger. And again, it comes to this judgemental

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factor of what we maybe are thinking that, you know, society

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might think and, and you see it in social media and things like

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that, of of that that actually happening to women. So I think

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it's important to declare to all the listeners, you men and

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women, it's okay to love money. And it's okay to want to find a

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partner, if you are single, and you know, wanting to find a

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partner that has similar Positive Money, energy, these

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are all okay, things to want, and to desire. Because if we

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think of money as energy, if we love it, we can only attract

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more of it into our lives. Okay, so money. And it's okay to love

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it like money. Again, if it's just energy, it's just energy.

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And it's, and what money allows us to do is really, you know,

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the power of it. And basically, you know, the joy and whatnot

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that comes of money. So, money affords us the ability to live

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our dreams and experience some of our most memorable moments.

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So there's nothing wrong with loving money. Okay, so nothing

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wrong with it, men and women, it's okay to love money. And

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it's a good energy to have as positive as Positive Money,

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vibe. Money allows freedom and flexibility. You know, it gives

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you opportunity to go where you want to go do what you want to

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do. And if you look down upon wealth as greedy or

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materialistic, well, the how do you expect to build it and

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welcome it into your own life and more of into your own life.

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So take some time to closely monitor to, again, if that

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judging is coming up for you. That's something to just reflect

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on. So what comes up for you around money and abundance?

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When you like when you see others, so maybe you see someone

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driving like a spate of fancy sports car, or someone with a

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designer bag. And you maybe what you have done in the past is you

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go through it straight to judgment. And you know, say

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yourself, Well, why would they spend so much to buy that

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material item? Well, instead, why don't you see this as a

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visual reminder, that abundance is out there, and it's available

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to everyone. So see these as your just visual clue cues of,

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you know, money and love loving money and the energy of money,

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and it's out there. And it's available for us all. So again,

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it's that it's a great reminder. So see it as a moment to just

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reflect and be like, Hmm, this is a good reminder that money is

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available to me, abundance is available to me, I can have a

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loving energy with money. Okay, so that was about giving

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yourself permission. So you have to first obviously give yourself

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permission to fall in love. But part of that giving yourself

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permission. I'm part of what might be holding you back to

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embracing and really, you know, fully diving into that allowing

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yourself too to be in this. This loving energy with money is

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holding on to fears and maybe being stuck in money mistakes

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that you might be carrying with you. So what I've witnessed from

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many people that I've met with and talk to you about money is

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that money mistakes can actually be debilitating in people's

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lives, and the impact it has on their current relationship with

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money. I've met with people who have you know, for instance,

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just sad On the sidelines with cash and did no investing, or

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put their money to work at all. So really, they're missing out

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on even outpacing inflation, it's almost that, you know, put

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your money on your mattress, and you're actually losing money for

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B from it being eroded away by inflation. But they, they do

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that because of maybe something that happened to them. In the

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past that they see as like a money mistake, maybe they had a

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poor investment, and they lost some money. And now from that

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point on, they're, they're completely just okay, I can't do

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anything. With money, I need to just have it sit in cash. And I

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don't want to do you know, absolutely anything. And, you

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know, there's a lot of options when it comes to investing. And

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there are some low risk options that might be suitable. So you

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are missing out on some opportunity from being sort of

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stuck in that fear from a negative experience. And it

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doesn't even have to be mistakes that are of people's own doing.

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So I've seen it even for, you know, people hearing about

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something that happened to someone they know, that has

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impacted their relationship. For instance, like people invoice

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avoiding investing altogether, because, you know, their parents

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lost money on poor investment. And they remembered hearing

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about that. And so it never actually happened to them, but

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just based on the situation happening to a loved one, then

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they're completely okay, I'm not going to do anything, I'm going

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to, you know, take a step back, and I am not going to address

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this, I'm not going to do any sort of investing and, and

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growing and again, not working your favor, because obviously,

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inflation is going to start to work away at that purchasing

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power. So

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just like if you're single and looking to find a partner.

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Again, I'm not the relationship expert here. But part of giving

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yourself permission to fall in love is allowing room for the

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true possibility of love. So it's not holding on to past

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experiences and letting those holds you back. Because that can

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also be debilitating. If you had a poor relationship experience,

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you and you're sort of stuck in that experience in holding on to

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that you're not going to be as open to putting yourself out

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there and, and the possibilities that you know, there is love for

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you. And there is your perfect partner out there. And to be

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open to that. So again, if you're stuck in those past

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experiences, you could be kind of closing yourself off to that.

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So not holding on to past experiences, just like in your

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dating life relates with your money. Same is true with your

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money. So don't let where you've been in the past with your

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money, keep you from embracing the possibility of loving your

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money. If it's a past mistake that has you stuck, well, then

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it's time to forgive yourself and move forward. And also to

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time to replace the word mistake with lesson. Because the lessons

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is a much better way of looking at it. And lessons are so

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powerful. They can be our greatest gifts from the

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knowledge and the insight we gained from lessons. So let all

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that money baggage that you might have been letting you know

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hold you back, let go of it. Let's let go of the money

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baggage. So say bye bye, goodbye. And thank you for the

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lessons. So be grateful for the lessons that you've learned

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about money. And then move forward and give yourself

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permission to fall in love with money. Yay. So we're falling in

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love feels good. Now that you've given yourself permission to

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love money, you might say okay, what comes next? Well, how do

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you maintain a loving relationship in your personal

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life? Think about that. How have you maintained loving

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relationships? One of the things I'm sure is that you have to

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that you have found I'm sure in your own loving relationships as

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you have to give them time and attention. You know, we don't

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show our love for someone else by completely ignoring them. Do

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we like is that a loving relationship? Just completely

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ignoring someone? And you know them getting none of our

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attention? None of our time? No? Heck no. We spend time with

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loved ones we do nice things we maintain the loving

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communication. So there there's an effort put in there's a

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tension there's time given and the same is true for your money.

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So again, think of loving relationships. Just use the same

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with money, love money.

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So if you want to show love to your money, you cannot let it go

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completely ignored. It deserves your time and attention too. And

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too often people avoid money and money topics altogether. And

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that's not an a positive approach to money. So if we're

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thinking, let's take a positive approach, let's be in a positive

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energy around money while avoiding it and not even just

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discussing it or thinking about it. That's not a positive

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approach at all. So you devote hours of your time to making

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money. We spent hours and hours and hours, I'm assuming in your

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career, in whatever it is you do if you're an entrepreneur and

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your business, but how much time? Do you spend all that time

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earning money? You spend lots of time, the majority of our time,

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I would say, for most people in your working years is spent at

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your job making money. But how much time do you actually give

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back to your money? By paying attention to it by giving it an

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opportunity to thrive? As you would someone you love? So how

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can we show? How can we give our money time and attention and

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show it some more love? Well, some ideas are, spend some time

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getting to know your money. So how do we spend time gauging

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your money while understanding how much money you have. So a

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great tool for that is your net worth statement. And I talk

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about that a lot on this podcast. So I'm sure there's a

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past episode where I go into a little bit more detail on how to

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create your net worth statement. Knowing how much money you

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spent, and how much you earn, so that tracking kind of having an

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idea of your budget, that's a great exercise for getting to

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know your money. Another way of giving money, time and attention

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is communicating about it with your partner. So if you are in a

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scenario, where you're, you know, married common law, you're

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with a partner, having conversations about money is so

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important. So you know, you know where the other person stands,

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that you're on the same page with your goals and things like

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that. That's so important. So communicating about money, if

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you're in a situation where there is a partner, and money's,

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obviously, then a topic of conversation for you both to

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communicate about. How else can we give our money, time and

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attention, we can go plan, we can get really specific on what

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our dreams or desires are for our money. You can support your

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money to grow and work for you by investing. And there's a lot

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of different options when it comes to investing that cater to

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your unique needs, and your comfort level for risk and all

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that you can spend time learning more about money. So how can we

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do that we can listen to podcasts like this one, you can

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read articles about money, you can read personal finance books,

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you can take a course, basically,

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anything that relates to spending time working on your

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money is showing it love. So giving it time giving an

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attention that you know checks the box for this recommendation

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of showing it some love. So now what else is essential for a

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healthy and loving relationship with your money. So we've given

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ourselves permission to fall in love or giving it time and

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attention, what else needs to happen? Well, you have to still

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prioritize it and take some action to write it. It also

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takes action. Again, you cannot just ignore it. But you have to

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be on top of paying attention and do things that are going to

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help it thrive and grow. So how do we help money grow? Well,

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first, you can't give it all away. So you have to keep some

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of your money for you. And so what am I alluding to, of

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course, saving money, so you have to save some saving just

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means more money for you. It shouldn't feel restrictive. It's

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about actually empowering you and freeing you. Because when

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you save money, again, it's for you. It's not for anyone else,

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you save money, it's your money. So saving is vital to building

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wealth. And so that's why saving is such an important step in

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this that if you want to build wealth, you're going to have to

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save money, I can tell you one of the biggest differentiators

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to having a healthy relationship with money. And being in a good

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place. Like where I see people that are very comfortable with

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where they're at in their finances. They do save money.

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That's a big piece of it. And they have been diligent about

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saving it for some time. So it's things like getting started very

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early with savings if possible, if at all possible, but of

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course, better you know now than never. So if it feels like it's

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too late, no, I'm not saying that at all. Start where you are

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start now. That's key. So if savings, if saving money has

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been a challenge for you in the past, I would ask you to dig

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deeper into why or what might be causing that. So get a little

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bit you know, start asking yourself questions if it's been

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hard. You know what is hard about it? What do you think has

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been the major block that's maybe limiting you or

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prohibiting you from saving as much as you'd like to be saving?

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Maybe that You know, what you find is you need to spend some

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more time reviewing your expenses. And you can see if

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there's anything that you can easily eliminate to allow for a

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little bit more saving. Maybe what you find is you need to

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automate it, because you just simply keep forgetting, it just

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slips your mind. And then, you know, a month couple months go

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by and you're like, Oh, I haven't put any money towards my

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retirement savings or towards my tax free account. Completely

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forgot, I need to do that. So if that's the case, maybe it's

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about automating it to make it easier to it's not just an extra

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list of things to do that could be forgotten.

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And having a discipline strategy focused on savings rate is also

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a really good approach that I find a lot of people like so

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saying, Okay, can you save about 10 to 15% of your income towards

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your longer term savings, because if you read personal

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finance books, a lot of them, you know, target that if you can

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save about 10 15% of your income towards those like financial

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freedom goals, retirement goals, that is ideal. So some people

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like to see that number and then have that all set up and kind of

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work backwards, so they make saving the priority. And then

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they construct kind of how everything else is going to

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unfold after that. What also might help if saving has been a

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challenge is using making sure you have a rainy day fund to

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allow for a bit of a buffer because sometimes if things

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happen in life, and extra expenses come up, you know, you

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might not want to be digging into that longer term savings,

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it might feel, you know, disempowering. Or it feels like

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you're taking a few steps backward, if you're starting to,

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you know, go into those savings to use to cover the expenses

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that come up, instead of having a little bit of a cushion some

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buffer outside of it, where you don't have to tap into some of

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those longer term savings. So how else can you support your

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money grow and thrive? So one is obviously through savings,

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that's one of the very important steps that you can control. And

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then another way to support your money to grow and thrive is

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through investing. And investing is one of the best ways to get

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your money working for you. And to have it grow. It's flexible

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investing, there's so many different investment products

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and tools out there available. Probably too many, but it just

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means that there's something out there for anyone in whatever

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you're looking for, there's probably something specifically

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that is going to work to fill that need. It's accessible to

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everyone, you can open an account with $0 and get started

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investing. So there's really no excuse as to why you're not or

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why you might have to wait or put it off. And the power of

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compounding is really what works once you're investing to help

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your money grow because your money is building upon itself

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with compounding and a key to compounding is giving it time.

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So the sooner you get started on saving and investment. And this

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this step of saving and investing, the better. So always

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sooner sooner, the better. If you're listening to this, take

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some action right after you're hearing this, to take you know,

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to do something to work towards one of those building that

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loving relationship. So what do I have for you? Lastly, to fall

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in love with your money, make sure you're spending time

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planning and dreaming for the future. So when you think about

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being in love, a big piece of that, that love is about

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planning your future together with your partner, you get to

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share your dreams and desires. And and you get to talk about

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you know, what is that? What does that look like? What

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adventures are you guys going to pursue in your future together,

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it could be buying a home, it could be about getting married,

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having kids going on certain trips, all sorts of things that

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it's exciting in that planning is it's fun to do and it feels

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good. So the same needs to be included in your loving

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relationship with your money. You have to make goals, and you

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have to really plan out what is that you want? What is your

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future with your money look like? You know, so you can you

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can break that down too. So you can say, okay, what are my short

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term goals for my money? My 123 year goals? What are my medium

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term, the five to 10 year timeframe on 10 years plus so my

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longer term goals for my money, what are those? And then getting

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as specific as you can of course we all know with goal planning

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and goal setting, the more specific you can get the better.

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And really remembering that when it comes to money, it's your

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money and you get to decide. It's not about you know, what

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can I do or what will I be able to achieve with my money? We

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need to switch that around so it's not happening to you again.

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That's more than that fear mindset that men, that scarcity

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mentality when we're in the positive energy with money, it's

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about what are your biggest dreams and desires because

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that's what's going to make your relationship with money so much

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more fun and exciting, is really dreaming big and going into

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those and and planning them out. And and I truly I am the

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believer that it is about energy and the more we put it out there

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of what you want and get specific is going to happen.

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You're going to reach those goals.

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So that's it. That's all I have for you today. And I hope you're

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ready to fall in love with your money after listening to this

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episode. So you know, maybe Valentine's maybe you're single

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person and it was a bit lonely. But now you found some something

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to love and it's your money. Okay. So thank you so much for

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listening to this episode, and I will catch you on the next

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episode. All right, bye for now

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I hope you found value in this episode. And because I'm such a

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proponent of taking confident action, I want to pose a

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question to you the listener. What is one action that you feel

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inspired to take after listening to today's episode? If you enjoy

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listening, please subscribe and share with your friends and

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family. Thank you so much and I will catch you next time