I Am Pure Gold - Dorothy Martin

TUCP Intro/Outro: Thank you for tuning in. You're listening to The Ultimate Coach podcast, a companion to the transformative book, The Ultimate coach, written by Amy Hardison, and Alan D. Thompson. Each conversation is designed to be a powerful wake up call, reminding us of what's possible for you and your life. So if you're on a journey to expand your state of being, this podcast is for you.

Welcome, wonderful listeners to another inspiring episode of The Ultimate Coach podcast. I'm your host, Ipek Williamson. And I'm truly thrilled to have an extraordinary guest today. She is not just the psychologist, speaker and coach, but a transformative force on a mission to reshape our understanding of stress and well being. Her unique approach combines insights from neuroscience with introspective learning, offering a fresh perspective on navigating life's challenges. I'm delighted to welcome Dorothy Martin to the show. With over 15 years of experience as a health strategist, organizational well being consultant and behavioral change expert, Dorothy brings a wealth of wisdom to our conversation. There are these sold lovely to have you as my guests. Thank you for being with me.

Oh, my gosh, thank you so much. If I want a beautiful introduction, wow. Thank you. It's such a pleasure for me to be here. I'm so happy to be here.

Thank you, thank you. Of course, I looked at your website, I looked at your social media. And on your website, you mentioned your experience of burnout, which led to a new understanding of stress. Can you take us back to that pivotal moment in your life? And tell us what story is hidden in that statement?

Oh, yes, yes. So the story goes back to the time in my life many many years ago, where I, what I really wanted in my life is to experience happiness, you know, I wanted to experience the well being and I wanted to feel deeply fulfilled. And I was working very hard to achieve all those things. And as I was working very, very hard doing all that seemingly the right things, you know, climbing career ladder and, and trying to look, we'll look at myself to become a better at having relationships. Somehow, I was not getting there. I was also you know, applying lots of different strategies to manage my strengths and anxieties. And as I was doing all those things, I realized that I was not getting there. And at some point in my life, just one I literally have run out of energy. And I realized that I just don't have the energy to carry on and I still haven't achieved what I really wanted. I still was not feeling you know, happy within myself I have not felt fulfilled. And I felt that I was on the journey. And my efforts were stopped. You were by me becoming exhausted and I fell into this burnout, a total exhaustion and it was around 10 years ago. It was very Yes. challenging, difficult and scary experience. Also for me as a psychologist thinking wow, you know, I similarly I know all this I am doing what I need to be doing and I'm still feeling like there isn't I cannot shake it off. Yes, this this is what happened and and then in the midst of my butt burn out. I have found myself holding in my hands. My iPad, with the book somebody should have told us by Jack pranskey, whoever, for some reason that book really spoke to me, and I could talk about it for so long, but it woke me up. It really just opened, it's kind of the window in my mind to see what was really happening for me, and I will forever be grateful to Jack pranskey for that book, because that book was the beginning of my recovery, but not just my recovery, it was the beginning of my life turning around, no transforming

Thee name of that book.

That book is called, somebody should have told us. And by Jack pranskey, it's a it's a book that he wrote 25 years ago. And it's a book that I still give out to all my clients, because I just feel that he captured the spirit of understanding of the mind. And he illustrated it with so many stories with so many beautiful metaphors, that suddenly, it was so clear to me, suddenly, in that moment, I understood something very simple, but something very powerful. I saw my thinking, I saw that I was experiencing my heavy thinking about my life, about myself about others. And, yeah, waking up to that created netshare, I realized that it wasn't me that, you know, I wasn't broken or something, there was nothing wrong with me, as I saw it was, I suddenly saw the direct cause of my suffering, which was, you know, a lot of thoughts, a lot of stories, ways of thinking that I've, I've carried with, with myself for all this life. And that was a beautiful awakening moment. And I'm so delighted. So now I am truly delighted to to have experienced the burnout, because without it, who knows, as I often talk about it, the most difficult, and the best time of my life, the worst and the best at the same time.

Yes. So interesting that books have so much to do in our lives and shaping and changing our lives. And, you know, they what they say is when the student is ready, the teacher appears. So for you, it was obviously that book, but then another book came into your life. Right, the ultimate coach book. Tell me about that part of your journey. How did that happen?

Yeah, absolutely. So that that is that is the second book that I will always cherish. It's the book that always sits on my desk. It's the book that I share with my clients all the time as well. And that second book, of course, is the ultimate coach and I came across this book, I think it was two or three years ago, when there was the beginning of the year. And I just started to notice that book appearing on on Facebook, on social media, people were talking about, I was like, wow, I need to check it out. And I also had that time connected with an coach because I think he posted something about that book and about the event that was being organized at the time the ultimate experience in London. And I just reached out to him. And we started to have a conversation. So he he invited me to have a look at that book. And and I did. And again that book has really said that book has woken me up to come commitment. So and it really made me understand that we are creators. And again, it created a huge impact on my life. So the first book that Jack brands skis book created a huge shift for me about understanding how I'm experiencing my thoughts Thinking and who I am, it created a huge impact in my personal life, my well being, and my relationships improved. I'm now married, I'd before I literally was struggling with relationships so much. Now, the book, The Ultimate coach created, have like an additional shift over really enabled me to see how I can use thoughts in that powerful way to create powerfully in my life, to create with commitment. So there was so new to me. And that created such a huge impact, it created a huge impact in my business. So since then, my business has grown and grown and grow, I, I have deepened and deepened my understanding about how we create how I create, through thought, through the way I speak, through my speech through the actions, my business now one of my coaching, my practice is in a completely different place. And it created also impact in my personal life as well. Because what I'm learning to be powerful creator, in my relationships with my husband, with my family, with my friends. It's it's a new world again, that book has opened a completely new world for me, and I feel those books just work beautifully together, they complement each other. And I just, I just loved I feel blessed that I have, that those books bound me in some ways, yes, Thor's,

That's what happens. That's what happens. Your intention to create ripples of peace, love and joy in the world is inspiring. That's what I got from everything I saw about you. How do you envision your personal journey contributing to a larger positive impact on the world you think? Now,

This this question a by the first thought that I have is, is division actually that encore she has been sharing with us about impacting on the world impacting on the planet, raising the consciousness of the planet? And, you know, I have been reflecting on this recently. Because when he first shared this, this vision, I have to I have to share with you, you know, my the cynic in my mind started to charge and then yes, but this vision is so huge. I mean, how can you even attempt to this task that it's enormous? And, yes, it is on the on the promise. But at the very same time, what I've discovered that everything starts with us. And that ripples. And thank you so much for seeing me for noticing that. I really appreciate it event that that ripples, it really starts with us, I really see that it starts with us starts with understanding of ourselves. It starts with creating ourselves a new. And for me, that was a process that I went with Ankush to really create my documents. So I had a clarity and this deepest alignment within myself about oh, I want to be how I want to create myself to constantly create in my life in this way. So yes, the ripples showing up in my personal life, and my family and I feel that this is really where the whole journey starts. The larger impact starts with us. I feel our personal journey. It starts with our families. It starts with looking at how we can create better and better relationships all at home. And that is how the Liberals that so the way I see it now is that that huge task. It's actually very practical. Because it starts with us. We have to come forward. We have to look at ourselves with compassionate understanding and To create new ways of being to, to create with more, in a more conscious way, in a more powerful way to create more love more ease.

Yes. Yes. Beautiful. Yes, I love it. So you mentioned your document. And in the ultimate coach community, you shared a few inspiring posts. And actually, they were main triggers for me to connect with you and invite you to be my guest here. And actually, Meredith bow, pointed them out to me. And she suggested, you should talk to Dorothy, and I'm so grateful for her. So on one of those posts, you turned, I am unworthy into I am pure gold. And on another one you turned, I am weak into I am a powerful force of light. Wow, what powerful shifts? So I am curious, of course, like, I want to hear about that, about that process you went through in bringing yourself from one end of the spectrum, to all the way. Other end?

Yes. Thank you so much for asking this question. I think it's such a important question. But I also love this question, because it helps me go back to my journey. And it was such a profound journey. I was, I was so lucky to have Uncas Jane, who is my coach now to guide me through this process of creating my document. I have to be honest, when he suggested it. And I was I said to him Ankush, I said, this is really great idea. And I have so many practical things that I would like to address about, about growing the practice about so many, so many practical things. And he says, he says no, he says, No, we'll do the document. And I was like, I surrender it. He was very close to a zoo. And he says, No believe trust me, he says, Trust me, like, okay, so I went on this on this journey with him. And as you know, it starts really, with looking at all the judgments that we have about ourselves. So when unchoose asked me to write down my judgments, the first judgment that I wrote was, I am unworthy. And as I looked at the page, I couldn't believe that I wrote it. Again, looking at my life, and I even shared it with an coach, I said to him, I said, I said, I've been on this journey for such a long time, studying psychology, I, we've always been encouraged to explore ourselves. And I have and I have tried in counseling and different therapies. And I, I feel that I've been actually making some progress and, and then, you know, coming into the understanding of the mind, and here I am. And when you asked me about my judgments, this is what I write. And I felt like wow, and anguish, he just smiled. And he says, yeah, he says, I know, I know. And that's okay. And then and Perry, you know, early on and keep listing and I kept going and listing my my judgments that I've had, and I've had another one I have weak, and then another one, I'm a disappointment. Then another one, you know, I'm not I'm not beautiful, I'm not attractive, all sorts of different judgments. But that one I am unworthy was the first one. And, and then Ankush invited me to the process of forgiveness. Because as you know, the foundation for creating the document is forgiveness. It's not really for us to go into those stories and, and analyze those stories. For me, it was more of the process of really just even acknowledging or honoring some of those stories from the past, but really focusing on that piece of forgiveness. and forgiving ourselves for carrying with us those judgments forgiving ourselves myself for, for carrying that judgment. So this is what I've done. And in that beautiful what I call prayer or a mantra of forgiveness that Uncle shared with me, as I started to repeat it in his office, I remember sitting on the sofa in his office. As I was saying, though, those beautiful words, this statement showed up the declaration, I am pure gold. And I have to say, as it landed, for me, my first instinct was to push it away. And I kind of needed to even like find within myself some kind of parish to speak out those words. In aloud, and I did, and as I did, I remember that sense of just good feeling, it was just something that fitted, there was something that lit within me. And it felt good. And I felt really emotional. And at that time, and, and also really happy is, you know, when you have this, the moment in your life, when you feel really emotional. And then just there's this burst of happiness, that suddenly it kind of is created within your your body. This is really what what happened. And I really felt how beautifully it really aligns me with my deeper truth about who I am. And an Ankush. Notice that so he, he said it few times, and we were just, you know, exchanging that statement just to kind of helping it to be born in a way and helping me to really embrace it. And that was a really beautiful process. And yes, this is my verify statement verifies declaration of my document, I am pure gold.

You are that you are that for sure. You are pure gold. Dorothy. On the other hand, yeah, I totally understand where Ankush was coming from, to insist to work on your document. Because when you don't go through this process, whatever you do, on top of that, about your materialistic goals related with your work and your business, and this and that, it is it doesn't land in a way that is authentic. It is kind of like a made up thing. It's not genuine. But when you go deeper and work on your document, work on yourself on your being, then everything you do not only your business, you're, as you say your business is booming. And not only that, but all your relationships become impacted in a much amazingly positive way. So it's so beautiful. Thank you for sharing this and thank you for being vulnerable. It is really inspiring. So if there is one guiding principle or mantra that you hold close to your heart, what would it be and how does it influence your choices in life? I know you mentioned the mantra that you heard from Ankush most probably is it's I forgive myself for judging myself. But is there something else that is close to your heart that you would like to share with us?

You know, Ipek, I think the mantra for me right now is really my document. My document is my guiding principle. It is my North Star. It is my uncorrect anchor to my my truth and you know, as I speak it every day and I speak it every day, in the morning and I speak it every day when I walk my dog I love speaking out when I'm walking and when I walk through the fields, and I speak it out loud and I speak it sometimes it's really loud and the sun is shining and the and the rain It is raining. And I just love the weather and the elements. Just playing as I speak it. This is my, this is my mantra. This is my prayer. And what I'm learning now even even more with with unconscious is really creating a document is a one part of the journey, just a beautiful part of the journey. And I would absolutely invite everyone to, to consider it even if you are a little skeptical like I was, I would love people to consider it because it's such a helpful process. It's such a simple, beautiful, but it's not easy. For me, it was challenging, but it's a beautiful process of really arriving at the truth of who you are. And for me, this is this is it. So I am realizing that that's, that's one part of the journey. And now what I'm doing is I'm every day leaving my document in a way that I'm speaking it but recently in my conversations, I've been exploring how else what else I can I can do. And I've been doing many different things, it's my husband picks my document absolutely love it the way he received my document when I first created it, I'll never forget it as well because he was so deeply impacted, which was amazing. But I've created for myself like a like a pendant on a on a gold golden chain that I got given by my mom and dad on my 18th birthday last day, even with this beautiful little chain, and I didn't want to wear it. And I only found it now I found it in the old chest of jewelry, I found it so I started wearing it. And now I've created the pendant on myself made of pure gold, which is going to be ready for collection very soon. And I'm all I'm doing also right now is I am choosing a statement from my document. And I am creating opportunities every day to create this. So that gives me a little bit more focus, to find that possibility and opportunities in them in the moment. So I really want to become a master of creating in every moment of life in those in those little moments. Because it's easy to it's easy to forget, isn't it we work we do we do breakfast, we could cook dinner, we do all these different things. And hey, we forget. So for me, this is a way of really bringing this into my awareness again and again and using it as a little notch to create. And that has had such a really tremendous, really tremendous impact. Again, it's the impact is in my personal life. But the impact is in my professional life. I have the sense that I am really growing that this work is really helping me to expand my being. And it's a never ending, never ending journey. And still, right now when I look back, I really feel that I leave with a sense of the deeper fulfillment, which is not always present, it's sometimes gets overshadowed. Yes, by stresses, frustrations, every human emotion and feeling that is out there I feel. But at the very same time I know that at the deeper level, this is what I connect with. So it's it's really high. I feel like I have been on the journey and I am and and I love it and I am experiencing myself expanding in that way which which is which which I'm very happy with.

Thank you. Wow. You Well, since you started to speak I have been smiling and never stopped smiling. My cheekbones are work everything now, but there is one question that I asked to everyone coming to my as my guest. So this question is which one of the questions in the before you begin section of the book or on the back of the book you see is the one you need to focus on at this moment in time in your life. So do you have one that you can think of

Yes, that's a amazing question. In a deep dive, I love it. I have. I have that question. And actually that question like now, is the question that gives me a little nervousness. Okay. Yes. And here's the question, Who do you need to be? To live the most extra ordinary life? I can live? Who would I need to be to live the most extra ordinary life? I can leave this question as I reflected on your question. When I, when I read it, it really kind of, you know, gave me this little sense of little nervousness, a little nervousness, little shift of energy. And I felt that that's, that's the question. That's the question.

What do you think that is creating the nervousness I,

You know, extra ordinary life. I think in some way, for some reason, that extra ordinary life, and for some reason i Dad word that creates that little nervousness or excitement. So you know, you never know, isn't it? Is that a little bit of nervousness and a little bit of excitement? That yes, I am. I am, I'm going to be reflecting on on that question. And what is that energy that is showing up for me. And I really have a such a huge appreciation to the life that I'm living right now. And in many ways, looking back at my journey, I really see that it is an extra ordinary life in already in some way the life that I wanted to leave being, you know, living healthy, live, being in the happy relationship, committed relationship, and also being deeply fulfilled. And I feel now with my work, I, I feel it. And I guess the nervousness and excitement comes from the fact that I feel that there is more to create. There is more to create. So, yes, I'm excited. Yes. Yeah.

You have every right to be excited. Yes. So now I'm getting to three rapid fire questions for you. Okay, the first one, what is your favorite podcast? Desai decides, obviously, the ultimate coach podcast? What, what is one podcast that you like?

So there's so many podcasts. So the ultimate coach podcast in my recently the favorite podcast, which I use, very often to, to inspire myself to learn to hear from all this amazing voices in the community that we have. For some reason, with everything that I'm doing right now. This is my first go to right now. Beautiful. Yes. And, and I have been listening to other podcasts. For example, I have listened extensively to the podcast of Amy Johnson. I've listened to the podcast of Rohini Ross, which is called rewilding love, mono eautiful podcast focused on relationships. Amy's Johnson's podcast is focused on anxiety and hobby, and I loved it as well. And I also love listening to the podcast, which is called on being rarer. And yeah, it's called on being and it's explorations of poetry, prose, research studies, and really getting the pair not just focusing on doing and the strategies but really going going deeper into it and I, I loved it because I love poetry. I love poetry. So there is there are poets that are usually into reviewed and they talk about the creative process and, and they sometimes read out the poetry as well. And I absolutely love it. It's I feel that the poetry is I personal I love poetry because it just, I feel that it invites you to the deeper sense within you. Yeah. And sometimes it's just that invites you to kind of hold, hold that space of even opening up to really see where what the word did call it, what the author wants to say. And sometimes even having those moments of not understanding it, but still allowing it to percolate in you to arrive at the insight. So I really, I really love it. Great. That's beautiful.

So the second question, best piece of advice, what's the most valuable advice you ever received?

Okay, so what comes to me is this. I sometimes listen also to a teacher, Rupert Spira rule talks about non duality. And he talks about spiritual practices, meditation, you know, breathing exercises, all sorts of different ritual practices that people practice and it's very helpful. And he said that if he was to recommend advise people to practice something, he would invite people to practicing loving people so much. And even like imagining that, how would you love this person? If you knew that this was the last time you saw them? The end? And he said, if we practice that, I wonder what would be what would we create? And I absolutely loved it.

Oh, beautiful. Like, it's love. Yes. Seeing? Seeing anyone we see as if we are seeing them for the last time. How would we treat them? How would we love them? Not so profound? Really? They'll be okay. Let me get to the third question. If you could have any superpower, anything, what would it be? And why?

If I could have any superpower, I would out create peace in the world. Yeah, absolutely out. I would. I would love to create peace in the world. I would love to create understanding before the between the sides that argue this is part of my work that I do I work with, I work in the inner space of relationships on a personal level. But if I had a superpower, I would love to create a space between countries. Okay, so we can see seizing of wars and creating peace and allow between people now 100 years

or two, what an enlightening conversation. This has been. Thank you so much for our listeners who are eager to learn more from you and perhaps embark on their transformative journey with you where they can connect with you.

They can connect with me on on their Facebook page, the ultimate coach Facebook base page on there. I also have my own profile that Dorothy Martin on Facebook. I also have a website, Dorothy martin.com. And so it's easy to find me. So I really invite anyone who has any questions or maybe something that has been shared today resonated 100% Invite them to reach out and have a conversation.

Yes, well, some of this information will also be in the Episode Notes. So yes, thank you, Dorothy. Your insights have illuminated our podcast today and we are immensely thankful for the wisdom and authenticity vulnerability. You shared your dedication to helping others navigate stress. Embrace well being is truly commendable. Thank you for being an inspiration addition to all the listeners of the ultimate coach podcast.

Thank you so much. Thank you that it's been a pleasure

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