Jan. 22, 2025

Jennifer Takagi on Balancing Caregiving, Healing, and Intentional Living | EP020

Jennifer Takagi on Balancing Caregiving, Healing, and Intentional Living | EP020

When life hits you hard, it’s not about pushing through at all costs; it’s about finding the balance to thrive. Jennifer Takagi shares hard-earned wisdom from her caregiving journey, emphasizing the power of self-care, intuition, and spiritual healing. She inspires us to listen to that quiet inner voice, trust our instincts, and embrace moments of rest and reflection, even in the most challenging times. Her message isn’t just about caregiving—it’s about living with intention and letting go of what doesn’t serve us.

About Our Guest:

Jennifer Takagi, a 12-Minute Success Coach, empowers individuals—especially women—to discover their purpose and potential. Believing in the power of self-trust and intuition, she helps clients gain clarity, confidence, and meaningful success. As a keynote speaker, she inspires audiences to lead with their values and inner wisdom. Jennifer’s blend of intuitive guidance and practical strategies encourages growth, alignment with personal values, and impactful, soul-led leadership.

https://www.jennifertakagi.com/

https://www.facebook.com/takagiconsulting/

https://www.instagram.com/jenniferjaggerstakagi/

About Me:

I have cared for many family members across the life span, experiencing the joys and challenges of child-rearing, the poignance of caring for parents, friends, and elder partners. I realized that I could not handle the stress of family caregiving 24/7/365. It was time for a new approach to caring. My health and happiness were slipping away. This is how Think to Thrive for Caregivers evolved. Let your mind meet your heart so you don’t lose track of your life.

Connect with Me:

https://www.deborahgreenhut.com/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/deborahgreenhut01/

Find my books here


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Transcript
Deborah Greenhut:

Hi everyone. Welcome to the share giving secret where we explore strategies to help caregivers so they don't have to work solo. So today, I'm really honored to have with me as my guest a good friend, Jennifer Takagi, who has a lot of wonderful programs to make you more efficient and help you get through your life and your day. I'm going to let her tell you all about those. And first, I want to open up by saying, Hello, Jennifer,



Jennifer Takagi:

Hi. Thanks for having me. Deborah. It's great to have you



Deborah Greenhut:

here with me too. So can you tell us a bit about yourself and perhaps your connection to caregiving as we get started?



Jennifer Takagi:

Yeah, I it's, it's kind of funny. I always say I'm the youngest of four, and so I should have been the one the baby taken care of, but just kind of always ended up being the caregiver. And when I was 34 my mother woke up early in the morning to go to the bathroom and hit the floor, and she had suffered a massive stroke. It was the size of the grapefruit and wiped out the whole right side of her brain. And as stroke, the size of a pin prick, can kill you, and a huge one, you can live with. So you never know every every stroke is like a thumbprint, like there are no two exactly the same. They're commonalities, but they're not identical. And so what I considered a very young age of 34 because I wanted to be the baby for way longer than that, I ended up being one of the primary caregivers of my mom. My dad was there. Thank God. He was amazing with her, and she lived 11 years, which is very long for a stroke like that. The last four my dad was battling cancer, so we had both of them, and they died 12 days apart, and so we buried them on their, what would have been their 57th anniversary, the month after, after they died. But it's really it's a lot to maintain a marriage, a career and a life when you're so integrated with your family and helping. I have sisters. They were helpful too. Everybody thinks they did the most, because that's how this works. But yeah, I got to do a bit of it.



Deborah Greenhut:

Yeah, it often seems that way that everyone has that, that tunnel vision about their own contribution. And I think partly because, as you said, it is so big and hard to do. There's so much work, you know, a team of people probably would not be enough. So So I understand that. Now, I bet you could tell us quite a bit about self care for the caregiver, if you actually took the time to do it. So I'm wondering, how did you handle that situation, that part of it?



Jennifer Takagi:

Yeah, my mom. I mean, like, that was, like, out of the clear blue. And just to throw out there, this is not my normal speaking tone. I had oral surgery last week, but I wanted to do this interview. So if you all catch me on my podcast or another time, I don't sound quite like this, not quite so much of a speech impediment, but I wanted to do it because I left ever so I wanted to be here today. So my mom was in like ICU for the first five or seven days, and I got up very early in the morning and went and met my dad at the hospital so that we could talk to the doctor, because he made very early rounds. And my dad set an amazing example. He did not spend the night at the hospital when she was in ICU. He couldn't stay in the room anyway, they would kick him out like eight o'clock at night, and he went home, he showered, he took care of the dog, he got a good night's sleep, and started over the next day. Many people think they have to be there and they can't leave, or they're somehow dishonoring the person. Well, we knew we had a long haul ahead, so you can't run yourself down in the first weeks after that, she was in rehab for three weeks before we were able to bring her home. And dad was there all day, and I got off work and drove straight to the hospital. No, I did not spend a minute. I went straight home, had dinner with my husband, because I had a husband, you gotta, like, maintain relationships. And then I went to the hospital. And I would stay from seven to 10 or 1030 every night, my dad would go home, he would take a shower, he would put on some more comfortable sweats, check on the dog, and then he would come back and spend the night just night during the night, because she did need somebody there during the night, but he left every day for a while. And so that really was a clear, beautiful picture for me to witness that you have to leave and. When my mother died, we were at a hospice Center, which, to me, that's the only way to go. I didn't want them hauling them out after their death. So at the hospice center was beautiful. They took great care of my parents and us, and we got there, and we're there till like four in the morning. And I went up to my husband and I said, I'm going home and going to bed. And he goes, you're leaving. And I said, my mom taught me got to go to bed and get a good night's sleep. And it's already four, it's too late. I got to go to bed. So I left, and my sister stayed. My husband stayed, my brothers in law, everybody stayed. And I was like, No, I'm going home. I'll bring home. I'll bring breakfast. So I went to bed. So the next night, it was about 11 in the evening, and my mom was still alive, kind of surprisingly, but she was and I met up with my husband in the hallway and was like, Hey, babe, just wanted to tell you I'm going home, going to bed. And he goes, what I said, I'm going home, going to bed. And he goes, Okay, so one of my sisters came up and said, my husband's going to go home and let the dogs out. I said, Great, I'll see you tomorrow. And she goes, what I said, Vicky, mom raised us to sleep. Your earliest childhood memory is of the vacuum cleaner hitting the foot of the bed because she wanted a spotless house. We're sleepers. We're all really good sleepers. I'm going to bed. So everyone went home and got a really good night's sleep, and the next day, like, I don't know, 630 in the evening or so, the day after Thanksgiving, she passed away, and what I learned from that is, sometimes they want you in the room when they go, and other times they will wait till you leave the room because they don't want you there. And that one of the nurses was sharing this with me, and I said, I think Mom would want us there. And my oldest sister, she goes, Oh my god yes, she's not going to go without us all here. Well, I ended up being in the family room, and my middle sister, Melissa, was like, Jennifer, get down here. Get to come, come. And I went running down the hall. And literally, as soon as my mom had her three girls in the room with her. She took her last breath because she wanted us all with her. But that was that was a hard like we took her to the hospice at noon on Wednesday, and she passed on Friday, 630 in the evening, and it was a long time. And I'm sure somebody out there is listening, thinking I would never have left. I would have stayed. I would have held her hand till the bitter end. What I said was, Mom, I love you dearly. You know I need to sleep. And if you think you have to run off and leave me while I'm home sleeping, I will forgive you. It will be alright. And I left, and I was fine with that. I would have been a little sad, maybe, if she had gone without me there. But at the same time, now you got a funeral. Now you got a house to sell. Now you have all the things. Now you've got a year worth of stuff to do, and if you burn that candle at both ends for three days, you're not going to be able to do it.



Deborah Greenhut:

Those are such important lessons. I When my parents passed away within two two months of each other, I had a similar situation on my hands, although we didn't have quite hospice at the time, and my mother was was just unexpectedly happened, and I tried to stay and stay and stay. So I wish I had had you as my teacher at the time, but I hope everyone who's listening carries that lesson where you do have to go home and sleep. And there is plenty to do afterwards, unfortunately or otherwise, but there's plenty of work to do after someone dies. It's not over.



Jennifer Takagi:

No, well, it's over.



Deborah Greenhut:

So those are great takeaways from from talking with you, Jennifer, and I'm wondering, because you're, you are a bit of a healer now, you do take care of people in your business. Is that something that you draw from that early caregiving experience, or does that go even further back,



Jennifer Takagi:

you know, I was always kind of the caregiver, just in general. I never wanted to be a doctor or a nurse or a medical person. That was like, you know, a little too much. And in January of 2020, I met a spiritual healer, and I didn't know what that was. So, of course, I was immediately drawn to her. And I'm a Christian. I was born on a Monday. My first time in church was the next Sunday. I'm a I'm a die hard believer. You'll never impact my belief system into God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. But I think there's more out there, and I think God gives us gifts. And so I worked with this energy healer for about seven months, and then was introduced into other modalities. And so with those other modalities, I really am honored to say, I have healed people and helped people, physically, emotionally and spiritually, and it gives me a whole lot of of, oh, what's that word? Give me a word, Deborah, fulfillment. Like, I'm very fulfilled. I love it. It just it lights me up. And I hear other energy healers say, oh, I can only have a few clients a day. It's like, Oh, it's too much. They take all my energy, and I'm like, not me. I got a bubble around me, and I give what I want and they don't take and so that's a mindset, that's a choice. It's a decision. I was working with a trainer recently on a new modality called energetic magic, and it's literally shifting that story so that you just heal like quickly and easily, because once the story is gone, you can heal, right? And I said, I spoke to a woman and and she was saying how people impact her so greatly, and then, if she physically touches them, all of their energy fills her space. And I thought, well, that's a bunch of crap. I mean, it's true for her, but for me, that's a bunch of crap, like, I'm not doing it. So it's very easy for me. It's very easy for me to have multiple clients in a day when I can talk better. It's a little easier, but it that does not impact me. Like I give my gift, I help people and and then, you know, literally brush it off and I'm ready to move on to the next one. Every session stays with me in a a positive way, like I I really get lit up doing the work. So it kind of all just goes together for me in a nice little package.



Deborah Greenhut:

Do you think it replenishes you to have healed someone?



Jennifer Takagi:

Oh my gosh, it does. I'll just tell you about this one, biggest one I have numerous but a friend of mine probably got older than me from water aerobics, had broken her hip, and then she couldn't walk and she couldn't lift her leg. And the doctor said she was fine. There was no reason, and she was like, but I can't without a walker or a cane. She couldn't walk because she couldn't lift that leg. So I did a lot of emotional healing on her for I don't know how many sessions we did, a lot, and we just kept getting deeper and deeper and deeper. And then I learned Body Code, which is creating balance in the physical, emotional and spiritual body. And we did literally one session, and identify a specific and I'm not a medical person people. I have a degree in French like this. I'm not a medical person at all. And she had an imbalance in her hip, and I had to google like, where's that muscle? What does it do? And the next day, I called her and I said, I have this deep knowing, that intuition piece that you're going to be able to walk. I don't know when, I don't know how long it's going to take, but I just know you will. And she goes, I was able to lift my foot off the floor one inch today, and I haven't been able to do that in two years, and when we looked back, it was two years to the day that she had had her hip replaced. So did the doctors do anything wrong? Probably not. I'm a big proponent of modern medicine. You're never going to Don't take my prescriptions away from me. Like, no. Like, no. I had surgery, right? I had my knee replaced. I'm going to do all the things, but now she can walk, and we did some more work. She had the other hip replaced. She breathed through that different surgeon, but she breathed through that. But she wanted to heal. She was open to the modalities. And she was like, please, Jennifer, you know, fix me on this I was in an event, and somebody was just crying, and said, Is there a cat in this house? And there was in the basement, and just poof, I cleared her cat allergies. And three months later, she sent me a picture with a kitten right in her face, and she goes, Look what you did, like, I can hold a kitten, so I get a lot out of it. It just it lights me up. It thrills me. We all have our journeys. We all have our paths. Not every outcome is what I want it to be, but death is part of our journey on life. So. So as hard as that is and how tragic the grief is, nobody told me how bad grief was and it is, but yeah, it all, it all, has just come together quite beautifully for me.



Deborah Greenhut:

So that intuition, which serves you so well in your current line of work, did you find that you had that when you were caring for your mom as well?



Jennifer Takagi:

I had it long before that. I just didn't have a name to it. I would say a prayer, and it would be like, God, I want this. You know, you're a little kid, and it wouldn't happen. I'd be like, Well, okay, that didn't work. And so then it would be, oh God, like my first one was, I wanted to be hit by a bus so I didn't have to go to kindergarten. I don't even know that they had busses in Tulsa, Oklahoma, where I lived at the time, but I wanted a bus to hit me so I would miss kindergarten.



Deborah Greenhut:

Oh my. I know,



Jennifer Takagi:

random and ridiculous. And then later it was like, oh, I want to be a cheerleader. God, let me be a cheerleader. But if I don't make it, show me why I'm glad, and then it would be cold and I'll be like, yeah, that's why I'm not down there, freezing my butt off. I got on a coat and mittens, like, okay, so little things that happen. I shared a story with a friend just last week, and I I had a girlfriend in high school making a very terrible decision, and my parents were out of town, and we were at my house, and I didn't know what to do. And finally, I just called her mom bawling, and I was like, you have to do something. I can't control the situation. And her mom showed up and said, Get your butt in the car. And she's had a great life, but it was one of those boyfriend, you know, it's always about a boy or a girl, right? But he was talking her into making a really bad decision, like drop out of school crap, I mean, like, really bad. And my friend said, Oh, you had intuition back then, like you knew what to do to, you know, interrupt what was happening. And I was like, Ooh, so probably the biggest life altering situation. I woke up sick one day, and I was coughing up a lung. Had bronchitis. I was just terrible, but I was in my 30s, I needed to go to work. You know, build a build a name for yourself, build your career. And a soft, gentle voice said, Stay home, take care of yourself. Or where did, where did that come from? So that voice just kept repeating, slowly and quietly and gently, and then a very harsh voice said, You need to go to work. You have this to do this, like, named off my name to do list. And I was like crap. So finally I decided I'll call in and I'll go at noon, like, I'll stay home, I'll take a hot shower, maybe I'll feel better. I'll go in at noon, and two hours later, the whole house shook. And that was April 19, 1995 the day that has become known as the day of the Oklahoma City bombing. And I worked in the Murrow federal building. The building sheared off about three feet south of my desk. Everybody I sat with was killed. My boss, his secretary, 35 from my office alone, much less, I had worked there almost seven years. I knew a lot of people in the building, right because you're riding on elevators, seeing them at lunch, whatever. And I knew as soon as I found out what happened, it was devastating. I mean, I cried for days. I don't know how many funerals I went to. It was just it was horrible. But I knew, I knew that was God telling me to stay home. And I feel very confident he was screaming at everybody else in the building, you know, go someplace else. Scatter. Go somewhere there were meetings off site. People were in and they were saved. There was a meeting all up in one room on the night floor. Everybody there was safe. So people were in very peculiar places, because it could have been substantially worse. But you would think, Oh, she's going to listen to her intuition now. But no, it took a while, right? Like, on the really huge things I've recognized it, yeah, now I pay attention a little more closely, and I I pick it up more quickly than I did. It's a practice you have to practice.



Deborah Greenhut:

Yeah, I'm sure there's that was a gripping story, so I don't want to just run right over it, but I'm thinking there's probably a light side and a dark side to intuition as well. You can be maybe too focused on fearing that something's going to happen if you listen too hard, and that's not the right vocabulary for it, but if you're focusing too much on what you think might happen, you might not pay attention to what's right in front of your face.




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