From Lawyer to Laughter: Bonita Joy Yoder’s Journey to Joy | EP030

Hi. It's great to see everyone here for the share giving secret today, I have a very special guest, Benita joy, who I understand is a recovering attorney, and I'm not going to give any more spoilers. I'll let Bonita introduce herself to you so you see a little bit about where she's coming from. Bonita, welcome.

Bonita Joy Yoder: Well, hello, it's a pleasure to be here. And yes, I am a recovering attorney. And if that is a new term to you, it's like Marcy, you interrupted me. I know. I know

why, because I think everyone needs to know that you're a liar. A liar.

Yeah, not, not a liar. Marcy, a lawyer. What's the difference? People like to make lawyer jokes. They sure do. And anyway, this is Marcy. She's one of my colleagues and CO emcees when I MC

Hello, Marcy. Well, thank you for sharing. What how Bonita gets her idea of joy. It's wonderful to have some puppets on the podcast for a change. Welcome.

Bonita Joy Yoder: Yeah, yeah, I can't eat the tea here. Marcy,

what's your backstory? Where do you come from?

Bonita Joy Yoder: Oh, do I have to tell her, you know? Yeah, I go to these ventriloquist conventions. They're such a thing. Yes, there really is such a thing. And I wander around and I notice different puppets that speak to me, and Marcy was one of them. Yeah, you know, some people design a character and then have a custom built or whatever, but I tend to look at different puppets and see who wants to come home with me. Oh, that's

sweet. It's like finding, finding a rescue pet. You're rescuing the puppet from oblivion there. So now the puppet has a good friend. That's great to hear. So it looks a whole lot

Bonita Joy Yoder: of other puppets too. Yes, we have a menagerie of puppets. Well, that's a good

thing. You know, everyone loves, loves to have company and better jokes, results and so on. So, Marcy, what role do you play in taking care of bonita? I get a feeling that she that you take very good care of her. What do you do?

Bonita Joy Yoder: I make her laugh.

You know, it's it's interesting because sometimes Deborah puppets say things that it's almost like I'm hearing them for the first time myself, really? Yeah, I don't know if you ever heard of Jean Houston. She's an author and speaker,

yeah, yeah. So tell us, tell our audience more. Well,

Bonita Joy Yoder: she told a story once about when I went to hear her speak, and she told a story about her father being a script writer for the world famous ventriloquist Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy. I never met them, though they were before your time, but she went with her father when she's four years old to deliver a script. And when they got to the hotel room where Edgar was staying, the door was ajar and he was just sitting there in front of the dresser that looking at himself in the mirror and having a regular conversation with Charlie. I mean, it was not scripted. They were like just talking, you know, making it up. And that stapler, I don't know why she shared it, but when I had her a conversation afterwards at her book signing, and told her, as a ventriloquist, she said, you know, you can talk to your puppets to access the I don't remember the exact word, but basically your inner psyche, or the inner recesses of your Mind, and it's kind of like that sometimes, yeah, I think

that makes sense. You know? I mean, I have voices in my head too. I'm don't tell anybody, but I listen to that inner voice sometimes, and sometimes it helps me a great deal. But having a puppet to talk to, I know, we often use that in child therapy to help children tell stories they might not be able to tell otherwise. So puppets really are a wonderful Lifesaver sometimes,

Bonita Joy Yoder: and we get by with saying anything, yeah, that's the part that's not fair, is I have to be responsible for what I say, but not us. Somebody's

gotta be the adult right now. Tell Tell me a bit about I know that joy is part of your name, and it's also so much about what you do. So what's your mission? Bonita? What is so important?

Bonita Joy Yoder: Yes, joy is my middle name, and I love my first name and middle name together, bonita, joy, because Bonita translates to. Like beautiful birdie. So it's, I think of it as beautiful joy, and it took me a while to realize that that was my purpose, to help be a super spreader of joy, especially in serious times. I mean, if you talk about caregiving of others, caregiving of yourself is super important. And you know that old saying about using the oxygen mask yourself so you can be there to help others. It's It's like that, if you can maintain a a state of joy or a higher vibration, and when, when you forget, you know to to catch yourself and come back that will help affect the attitude and mood of others around you.

Yeah, so take care of yourself first, right? It doesn't hurt to bounce ideas off someone else, and if you don't have someone a puppet, if don't have a human, a puppet can be a good second best choice, um, or maybe even when you

Bonita Joy Yoder: don't maybe the best choice. Of course, you say,

that's very true, and the voice is coming from you. So it's a great mirror of what you're really thinking, I'm sure.

Bonita Joy Yoder: So it's, it's an interesting thing. It, you know, there's a lot of chaos sometimes in the world, and you can focus on what's going wrong, or, you know, ain't it awful? Or you can focus on what's going right, even if you're left handed, yes, even if you're left handed, and even if things seem to be falling apart around you. I mean, it's a choice on what you focus on and what you focus on can grow bigger. Or, as they say, it expands. It's, it's an important part of self care. I believe, yeah,

I think, I think that's so true. I remember the the movie, I think it was called, it's a beautiful life. Um, it was, it was a movie about a concentration camp, which sounds awful, but the father, there was a father and son in it, and he focused on what was beautiful in the world while they were stuck in this horrible situation. So the little boy had all these experiences whenever his father could sneak in some some childlike play and focus on the joy, and that's what he grew up remembering. So not a happy not a happy thought, except we often hear that that the heroes in a tragic situation are the ones who can find the joyful way to be, the playful way to be, so that at least the children can move forward with a healthier outlook on their lives. Yes,

Bonita Joy Yoder: yes, it's, I mean, there's, it's a choice, and there's so much you can go either way. But I also feel that humor is a gateway to joy, because when you're laughing or smiling, you're less likely to be in fear or anger. And so yeah, do

puppets help with endorphins, those wonderful chemicals?

Bonita Joy Yoder: Yes, laughter releases endorphins, and there's studies like with a Mayo Clinic, when you release endorphins, you know you feel better. And in fact, there's something called laughter yoga. Laughter yoga, yeah, where people actually intentionally laugh. Do belly laughs, and it's laughter is the best medicine. You've heard that before? I sure have it tastes better than concert? Well, yes, and it, have you ever heard there's a fellow called Norman Cousins, and he had a serious illness. He was in a hospital this years ago, but he watched a lot of comedies and funny movies and laughed, and he healed faster than was expected. And then he came out and he wrote a book

about it called the laughter is the best medicine. I think was the title. I

Bonita Joy Yoder: think the book is anatomy of an illness, but the there is that. I don't know where it originated, but laughter is the best medicine. It's also one of the best ways to connect with somebody else. I mean, even if you don't speak the same language, laughter can be a universal way of connecting and building rapport. You switched out top thoughts, I sure did, because we were talking about laughter being the best medicine, and you're a wizard. Yeah, it's a pretty wise scene.

So wizard, what kind of magic do you perform?

Bonita Joy Yoder: Oh, you create your own Re. Reality. Yeah, magic.

So what's it that kind of goes with what we were talking about, how you view things, whether you focus on what that's going wrong or what's going right.

So did you help Bonita with her recovery from being a lawyer? What was your special role there.

Oh, yeah, you know, it's a

Bonita Joy Yoder: that law thing. People get adversarial, adversarial, yeah, and they can sometimes seek revenge. The I help them think about what is working in their lives, yeah. And sometimes we'll emcee, and, you know, puppets can just react spontaneous to whatever is happening there, yeah,

yeah. So it gives you a different outlook, which is so important sometimes we have to change our outlook in order to find the joy in living again.

Bonita Joy Yoder: Can you? Can? That's right, what an experience

you had doing that.

Bonita Joy Yoder: Oh, my goodness. I remember some years ago, it was in the last 10 years where I ended up breaking my left ankle and my right wrist, and this is not something I would wish on anyone, but the support I felt from people was incredible, and it helped me shift my Outlook to realizing this was a learning experience for accepting help. And you know, we're talking you often talk about caregivers, but there's also the other side of it, where somebody is receiving help from a caregiver, and that's not always so easy for people who are used to doing everything on their own.

That's right. That is so true. I know, you know, I've been sick at times I really haven't wanted someone else to take care of things. For me, I get very stubborn, and so I can empathize a bit when the other person I'm caring for is going through the same kind of thing. But there comes a point when we all will need one. So it's good to have someone help you with your outlook, absolutely. So you were talking about the adversarial aspect of being a lawyer. What was it about that that you didn't find satisfying

Bonita Joy Yoder: the idea of well, people blame lawyers for being litigious, but a lot of times, the clients come in with an agenda of, I don't want to say revenge, but I was a young lawyer in the courtroom once, and I had just been representing somebody in a divorce, and towards the end, the judge, before pronouncing the judgment, leans forward and says, I feel Like I've made a good decision if I make both parties unhappy, really? Yeah. And I remember thinking, why couldn't he focus on making both of them somewhat happy instead of unhappy? Yeah, it's kind of that thing we were talking earlier, to what you focus on. And I remembered when I was doing magic and ventriloquism shows through a couple of talent agents when I was in law school, that it was more fun to be part of a process where people are laughing than where they may be crying at the outcome of something. And so I decided, after over 25 years in law, to put my focus there and focusing on my life purpose of joy. Yeah,

that sounds like a great thought for caregivers to carry away, because often we get wrapped up both in the grief, if it's an end of life care that we're doing, or a very sick child that we're caring for, and we can't really see that there's life around that, or that something else might come up that would

Bonita Joy Yoder: this is just something that occurred to me. I've seen, I've been involved when after somebody passes with some of the family in fighting that goes on, and if there's anything you can do to make it easier for your loved ones, like I know, one person that I wrote a will for years ago told me that she went around the house and wrote, took masking tape and wrote the name of the child. She wanted to have these different things underneath the on the bottom of the object. You know, I then reference this inner will, and it just makes it easier if people know what your desire is. But anyway, yeah,

it's more likely they'll go along with that than if they have to have that cat fight over you know what to do with things at the other end. But. I'm learning something about you today. You talked about relationships and trying to find the joy and putting that ahead of some of the other concerns that we have. And it makes so much sense that you like to do it through the puppets. Now, something's clicking for me about how and why you do what you do. So,

Bonita Joy Yoder: oh, good.

And I have a free gift for your listeners that's great. Tell us about it. It's a humor journal that has 10 humor prompts, and you can download it now. Find it at Joy dot, fun and funnier.com. That's Joy dot, fun and funnier.com. Cuz if you start it can help you with humor prompts to help noticing the funny things that happen during the day, which helps build your humor muscle and develop a humor mindset and help you lighten up and laugh in serious times. Yeah, that is great.

I'm a writer too. I work on memoir and I teach memoir, in addition to some of the other things I do. So I'm going to get your journal, because often some of the parts of memoir are a little sad. So I want to learn how to think about the joy and the fun stuff in that. And we're going to be sure to put everything in the show notes for you, so that your listeners today can connect with you. And I hope we can continue this conversation again at another time and have some more that wonderful puppet, puppet venture that you have. And I enjoyed myself today. So thank you alrighty, and it was just a great time today. So enjoy your afternoon, everybody. And thanks bonita, for coming in today.

Bonita Joy Yoder: Bye, bye. Thank you.