Resilience, ReLaunch and Redefining LeadHERship With Shirley Baez

Hey everyone, welcome back to the ReLaunch podcast. And there is somebody that I'm going to be introducing you to, if you don't already know her that has come into my orbit my world that will absolutely give you that burst that like push that shove, that kind of, there's an approach here that you're gonna find very interesting and something that the takeaways from today will be impactful. They will be you can go and hit the streets right away with some of this empowered knowledge to be able to really get yourself ready to relaunch into exactly where you're supposed to be. And my guest today her name is Shirley Baez I say that right (Bay az)

(Buy az)

Well, I will close by as I've been talking, I've been thinking Shirley the whole time and every time I think about you by as this the founder and CEO of lead her ship you heard that right, not leadership but lead her that that infamous age in their Academy, a company that empowers women, to step into their power and kept in their professional and personal lives as true bosses, surely is an inspirational force, mentoring and coaching hundreds to find their true greatness. She is a speaker and published author of the book, lead your ship, unlock your true self and Captain your ship like a boss surely is. This is what I love a 20 year Army Special Operations retired veteran and the recipient of multiple mil military achievement and Recognition Award. She brings her passion for helping people through her coaching, where she is now providing the tools that you need to lead your own ship and succeed in your personal and professional life.

You're listening to the ReLaunch podcast and I'm your host, Hilary DeCesare, best selling author, speaker and transformational coach widely recognized in the worlds of neuro psychology and business launches, which cultivated the one and only three HQ method hel ping midlife women. Yep, that's me too, rebuild a life of purpose, possibility and inspiring business ventures. Each week, we'll be diving into the stories that brought upon the most inspirational relaunches while sharing the methods and the secrets that they learned along the way. So that you too, can have not just an ordinary relaunch, but an extraordinary relaunch.

This is going to be so good. Because I love the idea of you've had this structure, 20 years, and now you're trying to give what you know, in your heart, your big relaunch. I'm excited to go into that. And Shirley thank you so much for being here.

Oh my god, thank you so much, Hillary. I mean, it really touched me. You know, your introduction. Thank you so much. I'm so happy to be here.

Well, it's so great when there are women like you that have dedicated themselves to our country. So thank you, first and foremost, wow, just so impressive. And then taken that incredible knowledge and put it together. And now you have created this incredible platform that you're bringing out into civilians right into the other ones that needed so desperately. And so let's start with how did you first off, get into the military. I'd love to hear the journey there. But then when you start talking about you're all of a sudden no longer in the military. That must have been that must have been like a big gigantic relaunch

for sure. 1,000% and it's still a journey I tell you, you know, growing up in the city of New York, for me, it wasn't the idea All life that a lot of people would think growing up, it's very easy to go down a very dark path. And so I came to a point when I was growing up once I graduated from, from high school, that I wanted something more and not necessarily go to college, even though I did want to go. But I wanted something more. And it's so it just so happened that one of the days where I was taking the train the subway train in New York, I was thinking to myself, Well, should I go to this college and kind of see, you know, if they're able to give me a grant, and I need to do something with my life, I actually did go to ask. And they said, No, they weren't able to grant me, just because my dad at the time was making a lot of money. And so as I was going back home, all of a sudden, in the subway station, I see this big kiosk that says, We're will pay for your concert. And I don't know what it was serendipity or assigned. And I, I saw it and I knew that that was my one way ticket to something that I wish I had

that now I have to ask for people who are listening, they're thinking, Well wait, if your dad had money, how come he couldn't pay for your college?

Right? So the thing about it is, is that he he's blue collar. But I even though he had such strong values are very hard work a strong work ethic. For some reason, it was never enough. And so when I grew up, I grew up in a scarcity mindset in my home, right, my mom and dad were no longer together. And so, you know, one side really didn't see the value of working hard. And then the other side saw too much of the value, but not enough of anything, right? So I saw myself having to be alone and figuring things out on my own, you know, from a very young age. And so it just so happened that I was getting ready to go to boot camp, and like almost a month before I shipped out 911 happened, right? 911 hit. And so I was like, Oh my God, what's going to happen now, but at the same time, something very special happened in my heart. The first thing I thought was, well, you know, I'm going in with the intention of probably getting an education. But now that I've see how this has impacted this community and this country, I want to serve my country. And so that,

you know, that's an incredibly powerful part right there. I mean, when you're, you're thinking you're going for one thing, you're going, hey, they're gonna pay for college. This is all great, you know, that big Stan that you saw, you know, come join, and we'll pay for your education. But then 911 Right, and you're in New York?

Absolutely. It was a time to remember it was unforgettable. It was a ghost town. But, you know, my mentality changed. And I tell you that once I joined everything in my life change, and it really molded me little by little from a young 19 year old to to now, you know, I'm not going to state my age.

But you know, what, hey, Shirley we call it the midzone. We're just in the zone.

Absolutely. But I saw myself going through every stage of my military career in my leadership transformation from a young naive soldier to, you know, getting wisdom and falling and getting back again, because the military in my mind, I see it as a big Leadership School, where it challenges you in different environments, whether you're here or abroad. And you can see really yourself flourishing and really going towards your limits of your potential.

higher percent. I do have to ask, so you, you were army. And here you are joining during one of the most volatile times in our history of being alive. What was it like when you first started? I mean, what were you doing? I know you're training initially, right? How long did it take you training wise? And then when and where did you end up being shipped off to?

Yeah, so I trained for three months. It's it's bootcamp. So everybody that way people learn how to shoot move, communicate, medicate all the essentials that make you a soldier. Then I decided to kind of challenge myself a bit and become airborne, so jumping out of airplanes too.

So I love you. I think you are so great. And I'm sitting here thinking you are are a coach, and we all do launches and we do master classes. You truly can do a boot camp. You Oh, not girl.

Oh my god. But you know, being young, like you see the possibilities, right. And so once I was done with that literally a month after I got to my unit, I was shipped out to Iraq. Like literally, I think he was even less than a month, we were all getting ready to ship out to Iraq. And there we we were there for 15 long months, it was supposed to be 1212 month, they said, No, we're gonna extend you three more months. So you can imagine like the morale right. At that time.

Yeah, that's, that's tough. And it there was no end in sight, there was nothing that was really giving you clarity on like, Okay, what is gonna happen? Now, there was something that happened in terms of leadership. And there was a moment where your your leadership was questioned, and something happened, can you share with us what happened?

Absolutely. So at the beginning, when, when I started getting promoted, I started getting promoted faster than my peers who were there for for longer than I was. And that was a challenge too, in itself, because we were peers, and now they're, they're seeing me as their superior. Right. And that happened when I was when I was a young soldier, I was a young leader, but really, the one that impacted me the most was when the latter part of my, of my career when I joined the Special Operations community. Now this is like the top the cream of the crop, you know, you go through a rigorous selection process. So everybody that's in that community is a type A personality, smart, go getter, whatever, right. And so I was promoted to become the manager of a school house that had the top 10% of instructors there, which, for the most part, were males. And I tell you that there is a challenge to chow to get into was a leadership challenge. That was it. But at the same time, I learned so much about myself, you know, and in how and how leadership is not just a thing that that you kind of just tell somebody what to do, or knife hand like we call it in the in the military, like you do this, because I'm no is so much more than that. And I had to tap into the human aspects of that the human perspective. And so everything started that situation pushed me to look within, right, look at myself first and understand and know how to lead myself first in order to then lead my team. And I tell you that once I did, that self reflection and introspection, everything in my environment changed so much to the point where my guys really gave me feedback. And that usually does not happen like men don't tell you like, Oh, you were doing great, or what they were literally telling me, I don't know what you did what happened. But you're doing this so gracefully. And I tell you that that really stuck in my mind. And I said, I looked at leadership. So so different afterwards.

Did you find that the men after you were going through this internal evaluation process this new evolution of yourself that you were able to get more out of your team? Oh, my

goodness, yes, absolutely. Because at first I was I was intimidated. And I'll share that and I'm not even ashamed to say that because it was part of it was part of my evolution. Right. I was afraid because a lot of them, some of them knew a lot more than I did. Right. It's certain in certain areas. But you know, I got to the point where I had to humble myself and understand that I needed to strengthen my my strengths and mitigate my weaknesses, right? And how did I do that is through empowering my team to take over the things that first they really liked, and that they really weren't good at and I wasn't, you know, and they were so happy and doing that. So I knew that I didn't have to do everything. They were happy enough to say Yes, sergeant or Yes First Sergeant, I'll take that and you know, that also creates buying for the from the team buy in and also really caring and talking to them one to one and not only about work but about their personal lives because they also had a personal life. They had their families and kids And once I humbled myself, and surrendered to being a more empathetic and transformational leader, everything, everything changed and reflected on how they reacted towards me, I always say that, you know, whether you're a bad leader or a good leader, it'll reflect on the people that you lead for sure. So they were my teachers all the way.

You know, what is so interesting that what you're saying, is relevant in high tech, right? I mean, I grew up and my career was in that entire boys club. And I, you know, I came in, and my big story is that I had to become, basically I tried to turn myself into a man, I'm going to be like, and what you're saying is that, you know, you're going down this path, but it's the EQ, I now call it the three h q, right, that's the head, heart higher self. And it's the EQ of that heart to realize that a strong leader is not one that just comes in, and you're having a meeting, you're like, Alright, let's get down to it. And let's not even talk about anything, and let's just get, you know, revenue and deals and this. And it's like, there's something more there's, there's a human connection. And it's more important now than ever, when we're not connecting in real life as much as we used to, right the going into the offices, were doing so much behind the camera behind, you know, on a zoom on a, you know, some of these other other sites. But it's still now, you're as you're saying, You're bringing out your understanding that during these, you know, when you're a senior position in the army, it was so important for you, how did that moment of reckoning calm where you're like, wait a second, I can't be a victim in this place. I can't be like, they're better than I am. I can't say anything. I you know, it's them versus me. How did you change that mindset and go from the victim, the Hawaii, you know, I can't I'm not like I can't act the way that I should in front of them to being that Victor,

literally, owning my powers, owning own share

how you do that people are like, the edge of the seat right now, or they're on treadmill, or they're out riding and they're like, alright, what does that mean?

Absolutely. So, you know, I went and did a lot of self reflection. And what I did was, as soon as I got to work, I started showing up for myself, I started engaging my team, I started telling, telling my mind, because it's a mindset shift. You know, in order for return on this, you have to tell yourself and keep telling yourself, no, they gave you this diamond, right, that's the rank that they gave you when when you become that that senior position, they gave me this time in and it's on my chest for a reason. Right? They saw that I had the potential to lead, they saw that I was technically proficient, right, they saw that I had the leadership skills to do organizational change when it needed to, right. And so I came in, and I started engaging my team and just being a human, you know, just being a human, but then also having that, you know, that aura of, you know, at the end of the day, I make the decisions, but I'm going to empower you to also be the leader that you are within this organization, because you matter, right, you matter. And so, you know, I empowered them to be the best versions of themselves. And I did it very unselfishly, you know, there was nothing for me to gain at all at that point, because not only was I at the latter end of my career, but I also knew that they were hungry, right, and I can feed that hunger by providing them opportunities to grow, whether that was educational, promotional, whatever it was, you know, I opened myself up to receive and to give.

How do you now which is such you just said it so eloquently. And it is so important for people to hear that message that you don't need to be the bad ass. In fact, the badass boss is not going to get you, the people that are going, you know, there's leaders that say, Follow me. And then there's leaders that people want to follow. Big difference in what you're doing is teaching that when you meet with an entrepreneur now, and you are teaching this principle? How do you what is the best way to get that across because it is against our, you know, the belief system that, you know, strength, power, you know, I gotta be in there and you know, just, you know, I can't show any weakness, no emotion. And yet you're saying I want No, opera opposite opposite is true and opposite will get you very far. So how do you how do you engage that and help an entrepreneur with a entrepreneurial venture a business that is, you know, starting out or trying to scale right now?

Absolutely. So first, believe in yourself, believe that you can do it. Right. Always be self reflecting because leaders reflect a lot. And they meditate, right? I say that there's three things to forging a team, right and as a leader, right in the leadership world, and that is through influence, through trust, and through relationships. Okay, having those conversations with the people you lead, or the people that that are, you're bringing in your team. And again, I go back to the empowering thing. A hone in on your strengths, while mitigating your weaknesses through the empowerment of your team, know what their skills and capabilities are, and tap into the ones that you know, you're not strong at, and be okay with that, right? Because at the end of the day, when you're a strong leader, and you have bind from your team, because you're empower them, they don't think about, oh, she's weak in this area, or she doesn't know this, no, they are there and wanting to help you, you know, but you have to have that humility. And that goes back to the EQ, you know, that emotional intelligence, you just have to be very aware, self aware of it, and also learn how to take constructive criticisms, okay, from your team, or whoever is mentoring you or a superior or what not be open to that, because a lot of times, we have a lot of leaders that have let their egos and pride stand in the way. And I was one of them at the earlier part of my career. And that really, that really blocked me from a lot of other opportunities and things that I could have, that could have helped me more. And so it's, it's all about the human aspect, the technical part is going to come. That's that's the easy part. Because we can either go on the internet, we can get a book, right? Because Leaders are readers too. And we can find the information. I mean, the web and information. It's vast nowadays,

a I again, this is all that head part, where are those steps and procedures and processes galore. But I love that you said that three things to really forge leadership are this influence, trust and relationship. And I do have to, you know, kind of do a humble brag for you. And that is that you have written three books to number one, best selling on Amazon. Can you share with us your writing journey and the books that you've written? Why did you feel it was necessary to write those?

Oh, my goodness, the first one is this lovely little one, leave your ship. That's my first book. Last year when I first left the military, that's one of the things when when you leave the military, sometimes you get so fearful of what's coming next, that you kind of just take whatever comes. And I got into a startup great. I mean, it was a great experience. But I knew that it wasn't for me, right? And so I pivoted right, I

did a relaunch, you dare to really

go I love it. I've done several relaunch. And when I did that, when I did my first relaunch in the time that I had for myself, I challenge myself to write a book about my experiences growing up as a leader. And this one came to mind leadership and that is exactly what I've been, you know, talking about today is the is the trigger that happened in my mind of saying they trusted me with this how do I go about overcoming my own self so that I can care for a lead the skin and so I do speak about it in my book, how how I started in how I grew and fell and got up and then learned from my experiences. And then my second book is the powerful female immigrant. Right and so the nerd a compilation. These are all the authors, a compilations of stories of women that came to the United States to make a better life for themselves and now they are now Not our bosses, making six and seven figures. And they came here without knowing the language. Right? Knowing anything that had towards them. Really we all did that. And we overcame challenges. And then the third one is the one that I just launched, by the way powerful female immigrant went number one on Amazon. This is

gratulations. Shout out to fellow author. Yes, yes.

Yes, oh, you'll have yours coming to submit to you, too. And the third one is real women in real estate, because this industry is also a heavy male dominated and insurance like the military. So that's why and I love doing triple non traditional investments. And so this one is also a compilation and strategies from women that are that are doing it big in the multifamily single family space. And that's full launch.

When you think about the biggest message The biggest takeaway from your your book that you wrote on your own right, the one that was right, when you got out, what would you say is the biggest message,

the biggest message from me is that everybody has a special gift within to provide to the masses, right. And sometimes we stand in the shadows, because we are afraid to shine. And when you own your powers, and you own your capabilities, you can go ahead and take that crown out of that shell and put it back in your head and just render that to the world. Because in my mind, we're here to serve. We're not here for us, right? It's never about us. It's it's always about the other people that our stories can impact. And so it was it opened my mind when I did the launch in Barnes and Noble because there was a young, young girl grade. And she she came up to me and she's like, Oh, my God, your message touched me. I need to read your book. And I never even thought that that would be a thing, right? But she came up to me and her dad told me Oh, my gosh, she lost her mom. And your message that you're talking about tonight really touched her. And I know that your book is going to help her out. So I'm like, oh my god, like, Isn't it incredible?

And this is leadership? Yes. When you write that book, and you realize, you know, you're initially writing it for one audience, and then all of a sudden you tap into, wow, this is something that young girls, right young girls lost her mom, she is standing there in Barnes and Noble, and she hears you talking. And she's just like, hit. Wow. I mean, that I just got chills on that one. That is so good. That's exactly. You know, you think about the why you think about you know, serving Wow, that is so empowered, like everybody out there. And I love your message, that there is something that we are here, right yet. If you think about the why the purpose, your passion, and you start to open yourself up. And you know, as you said, meditate, great leaders meditate, they have quiet time, I call it the pause principle in my book, there is a moment where you just have to be able to just be right, this forcing, there's all this like, you know, here's that 10 step process to find out, you know, your biggest purpose and why you're here is like, oh, that stresses me out. But when you think about this journey that you've been on, and the last one is that you said that you're also now investing, right? You're investing in properties at property and family, multifamily homes. And, you know, is there anything now that you are super excited to be thinking about in your future, we always talk about where you are today with your identity, this, you know, subconscious identity of today and where you want to go, and where does Where does surely want to be her identity one year from now, what would that look like?

Definitely. So first and foremost, I see as I see real estate and investing in multifamily as building your generational wealth, you know, building it for not only for me, but for my family. It's for my family coming up after I leave this earth, right? That's first and foremost. And second of all, if I don't have my wealth, I won't be able to give more of my gifts to others, right and my most endear goal is to first become well I am already on that journey, a motivational speaker for a lot of the young women that don't have, they don't see the light at the end of the tunnel, and also going through my philanthropy project, which is creating a center where young women can come in and really express their creativity the way that they're meant to do in this world. And so what is the name of that? So right now I'm working through different ideas. But the idea is to put a central together where they can come and really express their skills and their creativity and just learn that, that they are the leaders of their own destiny, and to have the confidence to just get out there and be whoever they want to be.

Well, you know, what I love about what you're doing. And this idea of, you know, these family types of you know, housing apartments and things like that your that you're getting into, we have an incredible woman that has been through our fired up entrepreneur program actually multiple times. And she started you know, kind of in the low lower sixes grew, continued to grow seven now she's like, crushing it, she's going into next. And she's doing these incredible what I love about it is when you go in and you buy these buildings, and then you gender, is it gender furcation? Or what's that called, again, where you go in, gentrify all of the, all of the neighborhoods that have been just beat not just like they're just, and, and create homes and spaces and places for people. And I love that that also can end up being passive income, and such new ways of thinking about revenue sources for your family, and, you know, multifamily apartments and different places like that. Where else do you think that as you continue, I know you're an author now three books in? What else? Could you potentially see at this point that you're like, Hmm, maybe I could, I could continue that journey of writing in certain areas. What else would you want? If you had a message to get out there? That's not in your book so far? What would you say?

Definitely take the leap of faith. Believe in yourself. A lot of times, we we are afraid of our own. Like I said, star that we have inside, just take the leap of faith and try different things. You know, we, a lot of times, we were like sheeps following the herd. And I don't want to be that, you know, I want to be the different one that actually is not afraid to go get it, it's not afraid to challenge myself. But I'm also doing that so that I can help others get out of their own way. Right. And so I'm gonna keep my journey in authorship. Like I love writing, I love expressing myself. And I tell you that this book is a compilation of a lot of journaling, a lot of introspection, and that's going to go forward. And that goes hand in hand with with my coaching, you know, it's it's about leadership, but it's also about leading yourself first.

Shirley Baez I think you are an incredible, incredible woman that is making a difference, not just in leadership, as you're saying, because you're doing so much more. Where can people find you?

Yes, absolutely. So you can find me on my website at www.shirelybaez.com. And I have a free gift there for you all. You can also find me on social media on I am Shirley Baez on Instagram, and Facebook.

And we will make sure to put this all in the show notes. Shirley. Thank you. Thanks for being here. Thanks for sharing this incredible relaunch story. And again, serving serving our country for over 20 years. And now even serving more as you continue to go out and help people step into what it really means to be a solid empowered leader. So I am so excited to continue to work with you because there's so many I mic my, my head is spinning on different ways that we could collaborate. So, so excited to have spent this time with you. Thank you again, and everyone out there. You know what you got to live now love now. It's your time to relaunch now. And with the incredible interviews on our show that we're bringing you take the nuggets, take these opportunities that you get to hear from us and Amazing people, and make sure that you're in the micro action do something today that will lead you to the place where you truly are at that moment in time where you're like you know what this is living. So we will catch you next week with yet another amazing guest and look forward to all of our journeys and hearing from you. So if you found this really compelling, come on over to the relaunch CO on Instagram and DM me, put in a comment, let us know how awesome is Shirley. All right, everyone, take care. And we will see you next time.

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