Relaunch Your Trauma Into Triumph

Hey, everyone, it is that time again, it is the ReLaunch podcast. And today is going to be so incredible. Not only is it the time of Thanksgiving, when we're just so grateful we can sit back, we can talk, we can see, sometimes the family is a good thing. Sometimes it's not such a good thing wherever you are in your process in your journey. I just want to say I am so grateful that you are here today. And we're gonna over deliver, this is going to be one of the greatest episodes of all time. How about that? You don't hear me say that all the time. But why is that? Why is that because I have somebody that I've gotten to know over the last probably six months or so. And her story is of not just we talk about the relaunches, the things that have just knocked us down. But she is somebody that I admire so much on how she has persevered how she has gotten herself back up. Who am I talking about? I am talking about Marci Hopkins. She's an award winning TV host. She's the executive producer, and the creator of "Wake Up with Marci", which is a nationally syndicated talk show. And guess what she talks about? hope, inspiration. She has just recently put out a book. So she's now this author, Amazon Best Seller. And the book we're going to be diving into today is called Chaos, to clarity, seeing the signs and breaking the cycles. Not only is she all this, but she's also a keynote speaker, an NC a media trainer. So we might even get a few little media tips on how to do the best types of interviews. But she's also a multi functional car organization creator, and it's called car essentials. So she is an inventor.

You're listening to the ReLaunch podcast and I'm your host Hilary DeCesare, best selling author, speaker and transformational coach widely recognized in the worlds of neuro psychology and business launches, which cultivated the one and only three HQ method, helping midlife women. Yep, that's me to rebuild a life of purpose, possibility and inspiring business ventures. Each week, we'll be diving into the stories that brought upon the most inspirational relaunches while sharing the methods and the secrets that they learned along the way, so that you too, can have not just an ordinary relaunch, but an extraordinary relaunch.

Today, I am so excited, Marci, welcome to the relaunch show.

Oh my god, thank you what an intro I hope I could deliver.

So this is so it's so fun for me because we first met when I was a guest on "Wake Up with Marci". And I got to share, I got to share my book on that and on the side. And we ended up having so much fun, I came back and we did it again. And now today, I get to have you on my show. And you get to talk all about your book and your relaunch journey, which is I gotta say, I've been reading your book, and you have always just been somebody that I have admired. And you don't share, you know, when we're when we're kind of together. It's fast. We're like, hey, everything's great, you know, big hugs. And I now feel like I have this like, almost like the key into your heart and into your head. And thank you for being so open so vulnerable. I mean, the tears were flowing down my face when I was reading it. But for those that don't know, your actual relaunch journey, or don't know your background, because I don't know, before you wrote the book. Yeah, how much how much of what you're going to share with our audience were you actually talking about?

So it was really hard for me to share my story, but eight years ago when I put down my drink So, what I coped with what I learned to cope with what I masked all of the pain with, when that was no longer working and truly destroying my life, and I put that down, I was able to begin the most beautiful healing journey and get to the root of what was really happening for me. And it was when I was able to do that, that I started to be able to really bring the pain and the trauma to the surface and start facing it. And I was so grateful to be able to do that, because when I did use to share about it, it was it was all about being a victim. So today when I share about it, it's very different. So I'm very grateful for that. Well,

and again, in reading it, and the the alcohol, it it, it stemmed from something that happened that was very traumatic that you would never looking at you first blush, you'd never have any idea of the trauma that you've been through. Can you share with us those early years? And what really kind of was the beginning of your relaunch journey?

Yeah, I mean, listen, my mother had me really young, and there was a lot of men in her life. And it was the men in her life that really brought the trauma to my life and to her life. And when I was about, there's a lot more to this story. It's in the book. But when I was 12, she married, and I thought this guy was going to be the knight in shining armor, he was the one that was going to bring us this most magical life, right, the one that I always dreamt up. And that is when sexual abuse started. And the sexual abuse completely changed. This young girl the dreams that I had the respect and ideas that I had for myself, completely changed. And I lost myself. It was each traumatic experience chipped away at who Marci was. And I had to find that girl again. And I just want to say that I had a lot of really difficult things that happened for me. And we all have a story. So no matter what your trauma is, it may not be as bad as the next person. But it's not about comparing our trauma. It's about us facing the trauma and healing from that trauma. And that's something that we all need to decide to do. And once we decide to do that, there's so much power. And there's so much help out there, right? And you talk about relaunches, these are the relaunches and we don't have to overwhelm ourselves, and it has to be something huge. But once we just start slowly telling our story and chipping away at the pain, that's where the beauty of life starts to be discovered.

So you talk about in the book, this idea around that your youth was taken away that you know, and as you're saying, I the transformation going from victim to Victor, taking back the power is so profound. And you and I know we have very similar in my book I talk about trauma, for one may not be trauma for another. Now it may Yeah, that's not a big deal way to hear, you know, what's at what happened at that. And then the person says, Well, geez, that doesn't seem that bad. To me. It's very independent. It's individualized within us what what trauma really means. But for you, as you were, you know, your your innocence. And as you said, you know, it's just it really even started, I believe even earlier, you know, five or six years old, that you were, you know, in a position that you're a mom, your mom now. And imagine, imagine you being your mother or in that situation. I always think about, oh my gosh, I'm that age now or? Yeah, I can't even imagine there's a point in your book, you actually talk about this. Tell us tell us how you have people talk about you know, that first ability to be able to share something. And when you have something was it the fact that you had children that all of a sudden you're like, wait, I'm willing to start talking about this, or what was the impetus that actually got you saying, I need to open up about this. Now? It's not a hidden Marsi secret anymore. It's not a dirty secret. That yes,

well, again, I did use to discuss it with people close to me. But I did it in a way that was very much as a victim that this was done to me and how I said, everyone should be for me. But once I was a mother, and there were a number of things that were happening, I was, you know, trying to be the best mom, I could to my kids. I was trying to start a new career for myself. I, you know, I was going through perimenopause, which, you know, this is something that actually I've realized, post healing, that that was something else that was going another factor that was going on for me during that time. Because I was crumbling, I was literally crumbling, because of all of these things that were happening. And my husband wasn't around because he was working all at the time. And so it had gotten to a place where that victim, Marci victim had gotten to an all time high, right. So when I put that drink down, and you know, life had almost

slow there's a story. There's a big story there. Can you talk about what happened that day? That was finally you know, your your dark night? Yes.

So the last day of drinking, I started acting, I got in front of the camera in my 40s. And I'd already I've always worked in television, but I was behind the scenes. So when I got in front of the television, or excuse me in front of the camera, it was then that the lack of self esteem, and the lack of love that I had for myself became so apparent, because I was being judged all the time, though. It's such a roller coaster when you are in a in the acting industry, right? You're you're going for auditions, you're having to be available for your agents, but you get the gig. Did I get the gig? Did I not get the gig? Why didn't I get the gig, you know, so you're, you're always feeling like, you're judged. And my self esteem was at an all time high. So my drinking began to elevate because I started using that as liquid courage. So it was Yeah, so my last day of drinking was October so

I have to say, though, you said you said liquid courage. That's so it's such interesting. But yet you were doing this during the day as well. Right? You were drinking during the day? Obviously you were drinking out? No, no. So

my drinking is was what a lot of people may think as normal. I had wine with their I go out on the weekend, I would have a cocktail and two glasses of wine. So it wasn't like I was drinking, too. What's some people may think of an excess like to me drinking a couple glasses of wine was normal. It was when I got in front of the camera that I started drinking during the day.

I remember you said you filled up a thermos in the book you save your thermos with wine, and but you were able to drink the thermos and then still deliver your lines and you were you were fine with that because it wasn't it was one or two glasses in the thermos

it so I would maybe have one glass of wine before I would go into an audition. But the last day I drank I had a thermos of wine because I always like would bring it in the event that I needed it or felt that I needed it. And I would try to wait till I got to my destination so I wasn't drinking and driving. Right? Sure. So I got to the it was going to be a modeling gig for clothing line at Short Hills Mall. So I go I remember going up the escalator saying okay, Marcy, don't need it. You can do this on your own. And I was so proud of myself because I got up there and I was going to do it. But then I found out that I was at the wrong Mall. But the reason that I wasn't like at the right mall is because I was living in a cloud of fog right because I'm not really checking my emails. I'm not keeping a good calendar of what I was missing. I just knew that I had to be at the mall and I thought it was shorthair Hillsman because I've done it there before. So I found out that I needed to be at Riverside Mall. Now you have a call time I'm so now I am freaking out and driving to the other Mall. And I'm literally drinking the wine while I'm driving to the other Mall. Okay, because I am so frantic. And that was my answer. So I get to the mall. I you know, then I walked the walk the runway, I think it was so great, right? I have so much fun. Then my girlfriend and I go out afterwards. And we drink more, and we drink more. And I wasn't eating a lot at that time, because I was trying to stay thin. And anyway, I ended up getting behind the wheel the car in a blackout. And I went to bed that night. And I was actually angry that I got caught, right angry. I got caught by the police angry it got caught by my husband. And then

you got and so you got pulled, you got pulled over. You don't even remember being pulled over. But you you kind of we end up getting a DUI.

Yes. So the thing is, is that somebody called me in for ratted driving, I was actually pulled on the side of the road in my community. And the police came up and then they ended up I ended up getting a DUI. So they found you know, when my husband got me I was in so much anger, right? Because, again, if you're in the victim mode, you think it's everyone else's fault, right? So what happened was, is I went to bed that night and anger and I woke up the next morning, of course one with complete shame of what I had done. Like I mean, the idea of getting behind the wheel of a car, it took me a long time to get over the shame of doing that. And the gratitude to God that I didn't harm anyone and I didn't harm myself. Yeah, but the point the point to that is, is I got up and I had basically a point of surrender, I realized that I needed help. And God stepped in. And I admitted to myself, I was an alcoholic. And I went downstairs and I told my husband that I needed help. And another big part of my story is never feeling love, and self love and feeling like somebody else's love me. And that was something else that I always was trying to find. And I didn't think my husband really was giving it to me. But yet in that moment, when he embraced me, it was the first time I felt love. Ah, so it was really a most beautiful, magical moment. And even though was one of the worst days of my life, it was one of the best days of my life. And so I know there's I ended up going to 12 STEP program that day, and I never looked back.

And so you end up having this, you know, moment where you're just like, I'm done. I'm done. And you

mean, I completely surrendered. I couldn't fight anymore. And it was like a word. That's

a word. You know, at some point, you just have to be like, I can't find it anymore. But you had actually, you know, in the book, you mentioned that you when anyone ever brought it up that maybe you had an issue without the law now, like you didn't want to deal and then all of a sudden this happens. And you're like, yeah, so you checked yourself into the 12 step.

Yes. So the thing is about alcoholism. Most times you you know that your drinking is getting out of hand. Right. So I felt that my drinking was getting a bit out of hand. I didn't want to turn out like my mother because she was a raging alcoholic. And, and so I always was comparing myself my entire life. I've been checking how much I've been, I've been drinking, because of the fear of turning into my mother. So I thought a year prior to me getting the DUI, I did go to the 12 step program. And I went to the 12 step program. But what happened was, is I started comparing myself to other people in the room. I didn't have that story. I didn't have that knockdown story. I was just drinking wine at night and you know, having a little trouble with my husband and feeling like I needed to change my life and I wanted to get myself in a better trajectory in life. And that's why I went to the 12 step program. I'm in the beginning. But yet, when everybody's talking about their drinking all day, waking up with these hangover, it was that wasn't who I was. So I'm like, I still got a good life. I still got a career. I'm taking care of my kids. I'm doing this I'm like, I'm part of the PTO. I'm part of the community like, that isn't my story. So because that wasn't my story, I and I went on vacation and I didn't drink. I'm like I got this. So it was it took that 12 months for me to prove that I really needed it. out. But to go back to, you know, telling the story. So once I started healing, I started being guided by God as to what my mission in life was. And so it was utilizing all of my experience from being in the television industry and being in front of the camera. And going back to a dream of being in front of the camera that I ended up being this seed was planted to do a talk show. And I ended up just launching a talk show called Coffee with Marci, at that time, I wasn't even sure of the name. But I knew that I wanted to do something to give back in the community. So, you know, at first, I wasn't being outward, outward ly open with my story, except for in the rooms. But once I started Coffee with Marci, I was in that world for about a year, things were going great. That is when I was pushed towards doing Wake Up with Marci. And that is where I wanted to tell these transformational stories, read hope. And that's when I sharing my story became something different. Because I, you sharing our story was there was so much power and hope, because people out there are being touched by all of these things that are going on everything that goes on in our lives. Other people are touched, but it may be a different magnitude, or different stories. But how can one person get through that? And how can I not feel alone? How can I learn how to get past

whatever say that it says rapids going on in my you know, you're speaking to the choir here because this, everything you're saying is that when I opened up and started to share the relaunches and the journey, and became, you know, invulnerable, is an interesting word, because I believe a lot of women that are our age, we do try to come across, as you know, this is the I'm a more polished version, right? And we didn't want to destroy that version in any way. Because on the outside, you talk about this in your book, On the outside, hey, everything's great. It's all good. But on the inside, you're cratering, you're just your your self combusting, right? And what what you have done with wake up with mercy. And what I believe I'm doing right now with the RE launch, podcast show, is that you're able to highlight people's journeys, you're able to let them have a platform, to say, and I've had people come on this, this show who've never like, halfway through here, like crying, and they're like, I've never talked about this before. And one of the things that I asked you there on air after is I'll say, you know, if you could go back and not have it happen, would you? And not one to date has said, Yeah, I would. At this point. They're like, No, because that's who I am. That's my journey. That's what makes me me. That's that all those women, all those girls that came before me within me, it's become who I am. You take away any of that, and I'm not who I am. And so I just admire so much what you've created. And you've been doing Wake Up with Marci, for how long?

About six years now? Six years.

And just I'm just guessing, like, how many just do an estimation here? How many people have you had on your show at this point?

Oh, God, I mean, you talk about six years, you could talk about I mean, you got a let's just say seven 800 people I don't know exactly. Like think about and

every and as you said, each one of their stories, each one of their what they're what they're doing in their life and what they're bringing to the world and has impacted so many I know you have your show is on in New York on Saturday mornings on a network and Wi Fi Yep. That you got it syndicated everywhere, and people are hungry for this type of content. Yes. Literally hungry. So I admire everything you've done. And as I sit here, and I'm Mike, you've done, you know, close to almost 1000 Now of these incredible interviews and I probably have had on the show, at at a minimum now you know, 200 250 plus with summits and everything like that. it and sharing and when you can open up a platform to allow people to say, You know what, this is my story and I made it through it. I was able to change the victim to Victor. But I know people would love to hear from you. You decided to create this show, you decided to get out there and make this impact. At this point, where are you going with everything? What do you ultimately want? You just wrote a very successful, just heart wrenching story of inspiration, though, right? And so we're what what ultimately would you love? If we could look back and 10 years from now? What would what would you say this is what I want to what I want to do what I want to impact where I want to be?

Well, listen, I want to continue to grow the show. I think, no matter where you are in this world, we are very fortunate that we get to tell our stories, that we are able to create these platforms that people, women, and men all over the world are being touched by pain and trauma, and, and feeling alone and not being given the resources or the ability to heal from them. So how wonderful to be able to open up the platform on such a broad scope. So somebody else on the other side of the world, we're sitting there talking to going, Yeah, I've experienced that, too. Or something close to that. Right. And I also would be, I would be so honored. And this was a huge dream that my story could become a movie. And this is only because I have been told that it should. When is it going to be a movie, right? Ah, but I

wish you on that mercy. Because in your book you talk about you don't listen to your own inner you hadn't listened to your own intuition. It's not other people at this point. That's intuitively you know that this could be a very successful show. They could I agree. There's a lot of depth here that we didn't even go through a lot of like, yeah, craziness, a lot of like, Oh, my God, I can't believe that happened. Yeah, there's

a lot there. But there's a lot there. And I had a gentleman come on my show. And I will tell you that everything that happens in my life today is from connecting to someone on my show. And that is what I'm so grateful for. So I had a gentleman that came on my show. And he created a Christian based movie house Movie Studio. And it was very successful. And because of what he was doing, now, every studio has a branch of Christian Christian programming. So one of my biggest stories in my book, and the reason why my life changed is because I went to my higher power to Jesus and I asked for his Savior and to to help me through what I was going through and life changing. And that's and that is the signs from the other side that I talked about. Like when I opened up my heart and allowed for the guidance and somebody else to guide me a shepherd for me, Jesus shepherding me right on, some

people have, you know, universals appear in other forms. Zakah odd, whatever it is, but there's that, that guidance, there's something drawing you to a bigger purpose. Yeah, and

there's, there's a movie I just saw cut after death. And it's, it's about near death experiences. And it is exactly what I believe today. I mean, I was raised in a Lutheran church I converted to Catholicism. I had this idea of what God is today being so spiritual to me and what I truly 100% believe and this is what is shared in this movie is that God is love it's an energetic ball of love that we're all connected through this right through this energy through that I

love I love that way the I just described that because it's so perfect because you know I don't want I know we have a lot of people listening right now that you know again yeah, there's there's something the people that really are drawn to relaunch know that there's something bigger than themselves. Right that's right and and love My God, if we can just all just dive into that, that that's ultimately what we're going for. Ha yeah, it's so great.

I just really believe it's all about love and it starts with self love. And that's what I found. through my healing, and that's when life change for me. Well, and

you know, it's great to have you say this, because sometimes you hear people out there and they're, you know, on the stages, and they're like, love, love this and love that. Yeah. But you've been through the trenches girl like, you know, you've got your way. And I talk in the book about, you know, I didn't even like myself, how am I going to go? How am I going to cross the Grand Canyon and get to love? So I always say, you know, first you got the self sabotage, you got to be willing to say I actually gate then like, then love. So there is, there is hope for all of us. Right? Yeah. But as we're, as we're, you know, thankful and grateful. And I know, we've talked about just so many exciting things that are happening with us, I have to ask you, there is a big announcement that you and I are making, and actually we're going to do. But when you thought about expanding, and you even said, hey, I want to take wake up with mercy to the next level, what are you? What are you really thinking?

Listen, it's just expanding as far as maybe bringing on a partner that can help me to have surgery.

I love your smile right now. Wow, if I had a drum in the office here, I would do a call and say, I am so excited to announce that I am going to be coming in as your co host. Wake up with Marcy. And Hillary is officially launching, we're not even waiting. Until next year. We're doing this. It was a I mean, for me, it was just that connection when I met you the first time and then I came back. And there were sparks. But let me ask you, what do you think will be the difference between being a host you've had, you know, wake up with Marcy, you said, you know, all these years, and now you're willing to take on a co host? Like, what was the what was the reason you're like, it's now time?

You know, what, a lot of times we think that we have to do things alone. And, yes, this journey, I have been alone. But

for Greg done an amazing job

of the haze out. Thank you. Thank you. But growth and expansion and and like you said, I mean, and I was talking about before, I didn't even get to finish my story about the the movie. But the thing is, is that finding you and I had had the seed planted about having a co host for quite some time. So again, it's something over time, that was growing, growing, I was thinking about thinking about, but nobody was fitting that role for me. And when you came on the first time, we really hit it off, then you came on as a co host. And it was at that time that I was really ready to bring on someone and we just connected in a way that I hadn't connected with anyone else. So it's that energy, that energetic level that we've connected, I think our messaging is so on point, what we've, we've our beliefs are so aligned, and just the mission of helping others and allowing others to shine, how wonderful that we could help one another shine even more so and then expanding to allow others to shine more. And that is almost going back to that love. So we found a love and a connection. And we are embracing that and growing from that and will just continue to grow and help others to grow from hopefully the light that we will be sharing when I have the show. And you know we are seeing Hillary

I love this and I haven't really shared and I don't even think you know, but one of the new talk seeds right, that you had been thinking of somebody coming in? Well, I had been thinking all right. I have that okay, my my big crazy like dream since I was you know, young was hey, let's do something like this. Let's do a co host. Let's be out there. Let's talk to people and tell their stories and thanks. For so many years. I have had this like vision of me sitting next to Hoda. Like it's just so funny like I have This like that. And I kept saying, Well, I think I could be best friends with her like, I mean, I really think, and then I met you. And I'm like, God, she's so cool. I really like her. I like as you said, the energy. I like what you stand for. And so my goal for us is that we're gonna get Hoda, we're gonna get hold on as a guest. Okay, I'm throwing it out there into the universe. And I think that you know, what everything is in alignment for us to grow this incredible brand that you started, and You've nurtured and you've built, and I am so blessed and grateful that you have enough confidence in me. I'm going to need a lot of your media training in Oh, girl make it happen.

Yeah, well, thank you. And you know, what's so funny? I love Hoda. And I've always I'm like Hoda, I can be like, I'm gonna be holding it together. So you bring on Hoda, but I want to be on Hoda show. So let's go let's envision we're on how to show love it. And she is announcing the beautiful work that we are doing how

Marci right there. That's what it's all about. So what I am going to commit to my audience right now is that Marci, I want you to come back I want to be able to talk about, we didn't even touch the service about like the steps about what you're out there teaching and spreading and how to actually go from being a victim to this Vic door and how to actually embrace the things that you are now teaching so many. So will will continue this journey. So many different platforms we've already talked about. And unfortunately it is time to wrap this up. And I always love at the end, I say so you know, where can people find you? And so share with us where they can find you. And I'm again I'm like I I'm buzzing

I'm buzzing right now. Well, one thing I want to say is that our shows will be launching in December. So the first show will be what is the first weekend in December? Is that December? The fourth for December 4 Oh yes, December 4. So every Saturday starting in December, Hilary and I will be there Saturday mornings at 10 8am. Bringing you just magic, really magic that's what I want, right? And we talk about the relaunches and, and my book chaos to clarity and offering this so we can talk more about it. But people can learn so much through our books, they can they can see what's happened with us. And look where we are today. We built this. And and there was a time that we didn't think we could, though people are out there, questioning who they are, where they are in life, I'm never going to pull myself out of this. But know that it is possible. And you and I are true examples of that. And that's why you always wouldn't want to find somebody that you can thrive and strive to be like and learn from them. And realize that all of these things that anyone else is living is a possibility for you. And whatever your dreams are. So thank you so much for having me on the show. And I can't wait for our show launching in December. And everyone tune in and look for you know, wake up with Marcia and Hillary and where can you find us? I mean, you can find us at my website, wake up with mercy.com and I'm sure everything's gonna be on your way. Yeah, right. And we're gonna have social media so actually, there's a lot of things we're gonna have to figure out going down there.

Exactly. And if you're in the New York area or some of these other cities you can watch it live. I mean it I'm excited I get to be there once a month. I'm going to be coming in for a couple days filming the shows it's an I put out there if you've got a great relaunch story if you've got something that you're like you know what, get in contact with us you know, you know how to reach me right here you've got you know, the ReLaunchCo, DM, both of us, and let's make it happen. Let people hear your story. Let people hear your relaunch because it will impact somebody else. And so, Marci, thank you again, so excited. Again, everyone. The happiest Thanksgiving holiday season. Be safe. live now. Love now relax. lunch now, and we'll see you again soon. Take care.

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