Mastering Your Mind for a Successful Relaunch

Hey, everyone, and welcome back to the relaunch podcast. And oh, it's though it's one of those days where I have somebody that's coming on. That gets me to the point where makes me think makes me want to continue to question things, and isn't going to let us off easy because he is a man after my own heart and mind. I am talking right now, to the in, correctable, absolutely, you're going to be like, I got to follow this guy, Liam Naden. And what's really fascinating everyone is that when you start to push yourself to the outer bounds, guess what happens? While Liam is going to give us all of these incredible, incredible nuggets, content, tips and tricks. He is a speaker, he is a teacher, a writer, a researcher, he helps you to understand the process for creating true success in your life. And He does it by using your brain the right way, and we're gonna get to the right way versus the wrong way and overcoming your problems achieving your goals and ending. What many of us are saying is just that frustration. He is the host of let yourself off the hook podcast, and he has a coaching program but by the same name.

You're listening to the ReLaunch podcast and I'm your host, Hilary DeCesare, best selling author, speaker and transformational coach widely recognized in the worlds of neuro psychology and business launches, which cultivated the one and only three HQ method helping midlife women. Yep, that's me to rebuild a life of purpose, possibility and inspiring business ventures. Each week, we'll be diving into the stories that brought upon the most inspirational relaunches while sharing the methods and the secrets that they learned along the way, so that you too, can have not just an ordinary relaunch, but an extraordinary relaunch.

Liam, I have been looking forward to this interview. So welcome to the relaunch show.

Thanks, Hillary. I've been looking forward to it too. And thank you very much for having me on the show. It

is such My pleasure. And I want to geek out with you on all things neuroscience, and what's working and what's not working in the real world these days. So, but let's start, if people don't have this amazing knowledge of your background, and a massive relaunch that you went through to get to where you are today, it did not just happen everybody, can you walk us through your significant relaunch that really changed the trajectory of your life?

Sure, we'll probably like most of your listeners, if not all of them. You know, for most of my life, I've been chasing after success. I've always wanted to know, how can I be the best that I can be? I want more out of life, you know, I want to set big goals and do exciting things and have freedom and all that good stuff, you know, be rich, all of those things. So I tried lots of different things in my life from religion and spirituality, and a lot of self help stuff. You know, I did. I was the guy that went to all the seminars, the workshops, did the fire walks, did the read the books, they're all the anything I could get my hands on, about how to be the best version of yourself how to get more out of life. And at the same time I was,

we might have been sitting next to each other and walking across the fire together. I think you and I are cut from the same cloth. Yes, did those two.

But you know what I mean, it's all about it's another idea on how I can get more out of life be better. And I went chasing after all this for debt for decades, pretty much. And I also at the same time was an entrepreneur and I set up my own businesses I had. I've had 18 Different businesses at last count in my life. And I was really successful. I became a multi millionaire. And things were going really going well. But a couple of things were missing. And the main thing was missing was actually feeling good. You know? My life was full of problems and stress and you know, things would go well for a while, and then more problems with sharp. And I came to believe what I've heard many other people say is that stress and problems, that's just a natural part of success, that's the price you pay for success is you have to learn to deal with stress, learn to deal with problems, overcome challenges, overcome obstacles, now found since then, that none of that's actually true in reality, and we can explain why. But anyway, I was on this treadmill of, of chasing after success, always setting bigger goals, and not really achieving many of them, but trying to make more money, which I always seem to manage to do for tons of stress and problems. But anyway, so this was all going on. And I had multiple businesses, so as a multi millionaire, and then I lost everything. You know, literally overnight, I was in my mid 40s, I ended up losing all that, becoming homeless, and I had to move in and sleep on the sofa in the living room of my elderly mother's small apartment. Oh,

my gosh, what happened there? What was the catalyst that kind of without

getting you and me sued. It was a combination of things. But you know, when you make when you're stressed, and we'll come to why this is, but when you're stressed and frustrated, you don't make good decisions. You know, people often say I can't think straight, I don't know what to do. And it's to do with how your brain works when you're feeling stressed and frustrated. But but when you're in that state, you do make bad decisions. And I made a lot of bad decisions. And really, they all just caught up with me, you know, and they all sort of snowballed until it all just fell apart. Oh,

my gosh. So there you were. And I really, I something resonated when you said it's the price we pay, that's really something that I grew up with, too. It's like, you know what? Surprise, you pay, you want success. You want to have you know, all of the nice things in life, then you got to work hard, you know, work to your eyes bleed, you're like, gotta keep going, keep going. And it's so not true. It's like, Let's blow up that limiting misbelief. And it reached this point. And you're going to share with us like, yeah, we make mistakes. But you, you didn't let that keep you down? How did you get yourself off of the couch at your mom's house and start moving forward?

Well, what I really did, first off, I asked myself two questions over and over, while the phone was going with people wanting money that I didn't have and all those things. First question was, why has this happened to me? I mean, I am an expert on success. I know about goal setting, I know about motivation. I know about changing your beliefs, changing your thoughts. You know, I've studied all of this stuff I know about having goals, and going after them, and being motivated and taking lots of action. So knowing all of that it didn't help me because it wasn't on my goals list to become homeless and lose everything. So I was thinking, why has this happened? This shouldn't have happened. This goes against everything that I've ever been taught everything I've ever read about how you're in control of your life, and how you create your own reality. Why has this happened? And the second question I asked myself was, what do I do now? I have no clue. I had no idea I'd lost all my income. All my friends, my mother lived in a in a town that I, you know, was far away from where I'd from what from where I knew anybody. And I had absolutely no idea how to get myself out of the state I was in. But what I didn't realize at the time, what made the difference, because after that, when I got through it, what I noticed was, and it sounds really a bit weird to say it but But whereas before, I was always chasing after success. What seemed to be happening was success was coming after me. So things were happening to me that weren't really the result of me putting in all of the stress and effort. So I'd meet somebody out of the blue, you know, I met somebody who I hadn't seen for 25 years. And he said to me, Liam, he recognized me and said, Hey, here's an idea for a business you could set up. Now I had nothing. But I took that opportunity and things all just seem to fall into place. So what I realized was I was doing something very different. Because what was happening was, as I say, success, it felt like all all this luck, coincidence. Good things were happening to me, and things were working out in a much better way. And so I was a lot happier. I was doing things that I really loved. I wasn't doing things that I wasn't enjoying. I was putting in a lot of effort and work but it was fun. It was great and it was working and First of all, I didn't have the stress and problems that I'd had before. You know, I used to wake up and think I'm not actually stressed, I don't have problems, yes, the things I need to do, but they're not problems. So what's different. And what I realized was, there's only one difference, too, because I had to find out what I was doing differently. I didn't want to stop doing it. And it took me on a, really a journey of discovery to try and figure out what the missing link was. And it suddenly occurred to me something that that we've all completely overlooked. And that is success, being the best that you can be being happy. And that means without problems, it's actually your biological purpose. In other words, all of nature operates on the principle of natural success. And if you look at plants, trees, anything in the world, the actual thing, they are being the best that they can be, someone did some research, or Rick was reading recently, and they've concluded that nature is 98% successful. So there's a small percentage of living things, you know, a tree might be planted in the wrong place, and it dies or there's a flood and it wipes things away, or there's a drought somewhere. But most of nature, if you look at the natural world, everything is just operating with this perfection, except for us. And the study concluded that whereas nature is 98% successful, with the exception, we're 98% unsuccessful, there's only 2% of people who are really living being the best they can be without stress and problems and living a natural life. And that was the thing I'd overlooked. And I thought, you know, that's crazy. Because here we all are trying to figure out success trying to fight for success. But fighting and struggle isn't natural. You know,

that's a great way a great way to say this. And I like how you said I had two questions, I had to ask myself, why has this happened to me? And I know, listeners, our listeners out there are thinking yeah, you know, why? Why is this happening? Why me? Why me? Why? Why is you know, we always talk about things happening in threes. Why did this happen? And then that happened? And wait, I've already had three, why is the fourth thing happening? So that was really good. And then what do I do now? And my mom before she died, she would always say, Hillary, she called me Hillary, Jane, Hillary Jane. It is what it is. So now what? And I love what do I do now is so now what? And so when you start talking about you weren't pushing? You weren't? You weren't like forcing things to happen. Your friend, as you said, came to you offered up an idea. But you did something that many people don't do. You decided? Why not? Let's try it? What of what would you say to people that are being given opportunities that are coming their way? And opening yourself up to saying yes,

well, it's to understand that the reason you don't take opportunities, the reason you don't naturally take opportunities. And the reason you don't naturally do the right things is because somehow you're out of sync with the natural world with the way things naturally work. And you can think of an example, about how powerful nature is that you can say to yourself, I'm going to walk out a 10 storey building from the top, and I'm going to motivate myself, I'm going to change my beliefs, I'm going to pray. And I'm going to convince myself that I will go up in the year rather than go down. Now, so it doesn't, but it doesn't matter what you do, how hard you try to convince yourself otherwise, you're going to fall down, nature is going to govern your results. That's it period. So what you have to really have to say to yourself is if I if my life isn't working out, if I'm not being the best that I can be, I'm actually going against my biological nature, because any biological scientists will tell you, if you were to ask him, What is the purpose of life? How is life organized all biological life, including us because we live in a biological world in a physical body, and we're governed by these biological laws? Well, every biological science will tell you, there is only one purpose of life, including your life, and that's to survive biologically. And the best chance you have surviving is by being the best that you can be. So your biological purpose is actually to be the best that you can be, which means being happy. It means being excited about life, not just physically but mentally and emotionally being your best. And the thing is that to the other great news, and this was the thing I figured out work as well. Not only is it your biological purpose to be the best that you can be, but nature is wired to try and ensure that you're the best that You can be. And it's given every single living thing, a mechanism, a machine, some apparatus whose sole job is to ensure that that organism not only survives, but thrives being the best that it can be. And what is that? It's the brain of your brain. It's just a machine. It's designed to say, I'm taking you. And my job is to make sure that you're the best that you can be so that you have the greatest chance for survival. That's it. So the real question is, all right,

now, please, we got it. Well, I'm on pins and needles here, the real question is,

why am I not being the best that I can be exactly what

I was going to say? Well, the people listening out there that are like, yeah, Liam, I get it, I get, and I get what you're saying makes total sense. But how do I actually make it happen?

Well, it's, you've got to come down to the reason why you're not being the best you can be. And that comes down to understanding why the reason any machine doesn't do the job it's designed to do. And the reason is, it's not being used the right way. You know, imagine a car, you know, you look at a motorcar, it's a machine, it'll operate in a very predict its, you know, its job is to get you from where you are to where you want to go. And it'll do it predictably, efficiently. Guaranteed, if you use it the right way, if you know how to drive it, if you drive it the wrong way, it's not going to get you there. And it's going to be a really rough journey. You know, imagine if you saw a motorcar, and you didn't know how to drive it and you thought, well, the way to do that is to get out from behind and push it. That's how I get to the destination. And you go, and you put all your efforts in, and you're motivated, and you're convinced and determined that you're going to get to your destination by pushing this car, what happens? You just get exhausted, and nothing, you don't get very far. And you say to yourself, ah, I'm not strong enough, I'm not motivated enough, I need to put in more effort. The problem is, is me. And someone else comes along and says, What are you doing? Why are you making your life so hard? It's not supposed to be hard. Biologically, you're not designed to have a difficult life. You're designed to have a successful, happy life to live as long as you can survive as long as you can. The only things missing, you're using this machine the wrong way. And it turns out, that's exactly how your brain works. When you use your machine the right way. It does what it's supposed to do.

How do we do that? How do we use our brain the right way?

Well, it's about understanding, I've actually created a model for the brain that are actually four separate parts to your brain. And they all have different functions. And 99% of people are using their brain the wrong way. And that's why they're not getting results. And what it really comes down to, I could just briefly tell you about the what the four parts are, on my website, I've got a whole lot of description about all of this. But But essentially, these four and these are all for different physical parts of your brain. This isn't just a sort of a theoretical idea, you know, we're not talking about the mind here, we're talking about your physical brain, the bits that are inside your head, how you're wired biologically. And the first part is what I call your thinking brain, your rational thinking brain, that's also called the neocortex. It's all the cerebrum at the top of your head. Now, the purpose of this part of your brain is simply to take all of the information that you gather through your five senses and your thoughts in store it for later use. So it labels everything, it makes sense of everything. But it's just a collection, a library, a database, of all of the knowledge that you've picked up in your life, that's all it is. The second part of your brain is your emotional feeling brain. And this is located in a place called your amygdala and your hippocampus and a few regions like that which are just below your neocortex. And the purpose of this part of your brain is to make it as the emotional feeling brain suggests it's where you get your emotions from us where you get what makes you feel good, it creates chemicals to decide how you're going to feel. The third part of your brain is what I call your survival brain. And this is at the back of your head. And what this does is this manages everything to do with your survival that you don't have to think about. So physically, it manages your breathing, your heart rate repair of your organs, if you get all your pets, you cut yourself, and it manages all the repair of that. Now the interesting thing is you don't worry about when you cut your finger whether it's going to heal or not. And you don't meditate on it and you know, do estimations you just know it's the way it's going to heal itself. It's the way it works. And this is the way your brain is designed to make sure you work in your life. But anyway, survival brain it manages all this stuff. But it also has one other function about Your survival. And that's what's commonly known as your fight or flight mechanism. And the purpose of your fight or flight mechanism. Remember, you're supposed to live your life being the best that you can be being resourceful, happy, excited, not having stress and problems, making the right decisions, avoiding doing the wrong things, your brain navigating you through your life, that all the good stuff happens. But there's only one time when your brain doesn't do that. And that is when something happens in your environment, that could be an immediate threat to your survival, something that could kill you. And in that instance, your brain switches up a part of it's the survival part of the brain switches on and activates this fight flight response, which has you reacting to the danger. So, you know, this was obviously created millions of years ago when the Reliance wandering around. So when you hurt a lion, or when a lion jumped out from behind a rock, you activated this part of your brain, and it reacted to the danger. But here's the thing, it's great for reacting to danger. But it's no good for managing your life. Because what it actually does in that instance, is it shuts down the fourth part of your brain. And the fourth part of your brain, which is located deep within the middle of your head, is what I call your creative brain, your creative brain, this is where you get your inspiration, your imagination, your creativity, your motivation. That's where you get those aha ideas from, it's where you have your higher awareness. And you go, Oh, I never thought about that idea before, you know, artists and musicians. And creative people talk about how they get these ideas, or they hear the music and they just wrote it down. Or they're, they're an athlete, and they find that it's almost effortless that they're performing at their peak, right. That's why they're in their zone, it's totally smoke coming from the thinking brain. And this part of your brain, your creative brain, it knows what your goals should be. It knows what you should do. It knows what you shouldn't do. And it's going to make sure that all of the circumstances in your life are such that you do the right things. That's what it's designed to do. Except when is shut down by your survival fight or flight. So the point being, what activates your survival fight or flight and shuts down your creative brain. It's fear. It's when you feel stressed, afraid, worried, anxious, frustrated, angry, all of those things are based on underlying fears. When you feel that you instantly switch on what's called your sympathetic nervous system, which activates your survival fight or flight. And it shuts down your creative brain. Because your creative brain can only operate when you're feeling good. Because when you're feeling good, you're being the best that you can be. That's part of it.

This is this was so well done as you went through the four areas of the brain. And as you're saying, also, when you're in that fear, it literally shuts down the thinking as well. Right. So you got creative shutdown, thinking shutdown, you're basically you're literally operating as you say, the wrong way to use your brain the wrong way to even get out of the state you're in. So how can people? How can people when fear comes up? What can they do when all of these emotions that cause you to have the creative part of the brain freeze up? What can you do? Well,

I think the first thing to do, and this is what I teach is, firstly, just what we've been talking about and understanding of this is what's going on in your brain. You know, it's a bit like a car, you it's not difficult to drive a car once you know how to do it, and you wouldn't dream of doing it any other way. Because I think the important thing to realize, from an understanding perspective, and this is really 90% of it, is to understand it because you go Why did I do this any other way because I didn't realize the effect it was having on me. But when you realize that when you're in a state of stress, and that's not just you know, complete panic, it's when you're not feeling good. The part of your brain that you have access to in that moment, will never give you the answers. And what are most people doing? They're in a stress state and they're trying to work out their goals. They're trying to figure out what to do. They say I don't have enough. Why needs what do I want, I need to be a millionaire. Or you know, they're using a part of the brain that simply doesn't have the answers to any of those questions and it doesn't so it doesn't know what you want, doesn't know what you need. It doesn't know what you should have in your life to be the best that you can be and it doesn't know how to get it for you either. That doesn't have the answers to your problems. So if you're dealing with and it's going to make you know doesn't show you the right things to do. I

love this because this is a Now I realize I've done research on what you put out there. And you were talking about that goals, people are confusing, the right way to do goals even. And you say that goals are self sabotage errs. And this is now really making a lot of sense. Can you explain that a little bit more for the people listening to really understand the right way that you can leverage your brain and setting goals that you're actually going to be able to hit?

When you really are when you realize that fear is the enemy, that becomes your mission, to manage your state, and to minimize fear in your life. And you can we all have the choice as to what we allow into our awareness are we going to focus on something that makes us feel bad, or you're going to choose to focus on something that feels good? Now, there are other things involved, which is about getting rid of your subconscious fears. But a place to start is to realize, if you're going to do something that makes you feel bad, you're finished. I mean, it's a little bit like if someone came up to you and said, Drink this, and you said, what is it and they said, it's hydrochloric acid, and said, Well, I'm not gonna drink gonna get what, are you mad? I'm not going to drink that. I say, No, no, it's good for you. And if you have faith, and you believe and, and you really can motivate, it won't do you any harm. And you say to them, I understand. You obviously don't. But I understand that it doesn't matter what the justification is, you could tell me my grandmother's going to die unless I drink that poison, and hydrochloric acid. But it doesn't matter what the justification is, I know that if I do that, if I put that into my system, it's going to damage me. And it's the same with fear. It doesn't matter what your justification is about why you feel fear, or frustration, and whatever it is, if you know that it's game over, once you if you don't find a way to eliminate that from your life, and getting rid of fear and getting rid of frustration is not only possible, it's what I it's what I realized that I did all those years ago, or a few years ago, when I changed. Because the answer to that question, what do I do? I don't know how to get out of this out of this. When I had nothing? The answer to that question is, I don't know. And when you say I don't know, I give up, I'm not going to try anymore. It's not worth it. You give up your fear. And I gave up my fear. I thought, you know, I give up trying. And I just know whatever happens is whatever happens, okay? Let it be. And well, you didn't realize was the my creative brain took over. And your creative brain is like this wise old man, who knows everything that you don't know about yourself? And he's looking at you and going, why are you struggling and frustrating, worried and frustrated? just handed over to me, I'll show you what to do. It's my job.

So that's the key thing you say, just to make sure everyone, you know, kind of has this summarized is that when you're feeling that state of fear, instead of like fighting the fear, literally lean into it and say, kind of ask the question of like, okay, what, what can I do? What can I do now, as you say, what do I do now? I say, so now what? And give it up? It's like this surrendering, not forcing, but just being?

Here's the question to ask yourself when you feel fear, because fear on a biological level, has only one purpose. Fear is a chemical signal from your emotional brain, telling you that you are faced with an immediate threat to your survival. And so you've got to ask yourself, is there when you feel bad? Is there a threat to my survival right now, then 99.99% of the time there isn't. But what's happening your brain through all of your conditioning and watching the news and looking about all this negative stuff, and people telling you life's hard and problems and natural and you know, all of the all of the information that you've gathered in your mind and your rational thinking brain, you've built up a picture about a lot of things, your brain is making a connection between the threat to your survival and something in your environment, and it's all imaginary. It's not there. So when you ask yourself, is there a threat to my survival? Right here right now? Your question, you're getting your brain to question this belief that it has there this connection between danger and something going on? I mean, it might be someone comes to you and says something unpleasant to you. Now your brain links that I and you feel bad. And why do you feel bad because your brain is somehow linking what they've said to you as being a sign of a threat to your survival or you're going to the means rejection that means people won't love you. It means you'll be alone for the rest of your life. All this is deeply subconscious, but it's What is making you feel bad. So that's what you need to get to the root cause of us to realize there's something in your brain telling you that there's a threat to your survival when there isn't. And then you can start to let go of fears. And you get to a point where you do want your creative brain is trying to get you to do, which is to operate without fear. What does it say in the Bible more than 360 times, be not afraid? It's not a nice idea. It's an instruction on how to use your brain. Because when you're afraid, you're using the wrong part. And the God given a few like, Infinite Intelligence part that's designed to make you the best that you can be the wise old man who knows what you want, or or give it to you. He's shut down. He's not there. He can't operate. You can't hear us. You can't use it.

Liam, I prefer to call that wise old man, the wise woman. I do want I do want to ask you about the goals and how you say they're self sabotage. A lot of people right now are going through year end goal setting, we'll be doing it once a quarter. Why do you say that the goals can be a lot of times self sabotaging?

Well, because you're sitting at using the wrong part of your brain. And here's the proof. Ask anybody what percentage of your goals that you sit? Do you ever achieve? Is it 90% 80% 70%? You know, when I ask people that question, and I've asked around a lot, and they've even been books written about this, it's about 2%. So the reality is, everyone's rushing around doing something that has a 2% success rate. Why are we doing that? Well, because everyone else is doing it, but it doesn't work. And the reason it doesn't work, is because you're using the wrong part of your brain, that is only limiting you to thinking about what it can try and figure out. But your creative brain, which is not your thinking brain, it knows what you want, it's biologically wired, to make sure everything that's right happens in your life. So very occasionally, you might set a goal, that's what I call a knowing goal. And you just go, Ah, you meet someone, you go, I'm going to marry you. Or you walk into a house and you go, I'm going to buy this house. Now, this doesn't come from your goal, setting your logical thoughts, it's something that's come out of the blue, and it happens, and it just happens, and everything comes together. And that's what happens. That's a goal from your creative brain. But most of the time, your creative brain doesn't work like that. Your creative brain works in the most biologically efficient way possible. And remember, all of nature is designed to be the most efficient it can be, use the least amount of energy for the most results. And what's the most efficient way your creative brain can get you to where you should be, it shows you one step at a time. Because that's the most biologically efficient way to live is to know what to do next, and do it, then know what to do and do it. If your brain if your creative brain showed you the next 20 steps, and see what you really want and need to be happy with something you've never thought of. And like for me, you're going to end up sailing around Europe and your own yacht for eight years. If my creative brain had said that to me, I would have said you made that's not what I want. I never thought of that. And how am I going to do it? What are all the 20 steps I need to do to to make sure and you'd be stuck

and overwhelmed and in fear, like what how is this going to work out totally.

And you wouldn't take any action. But if you just take the next step, that's the most efficient way, that's the fastest way for you to get to where you need to be. And it's also the least stressful way, which is part of being your best. There's no,

you are just I mean tuning in to everything that I love the most about the power behind the brain. And so, unfortunately, got it, we got to wrap it up right now. But I do want to ask you, where can people find you learn more about your processes, and dive deeper into these four areas of the brain?

Well, everything's on my website, which is just my name, Liam naydon.com. And I've actually got a free mini course there how to unlock your success brain. And it shows you three simple steps. And people often mistake simplicity with our can't be that simple. This is all simple stuff. Once you understand that, because it's natural. We're designed to be this way. You know, we've just forgotten or never been taught even though in the Bible and everywhere else. They've been trying to tell us that we haven't understood it. So it is simple. But so if they go to my website, Liam naydon.com. There's that free course there and I've also got description on how these four parts of the brain and how they work and lots of other stuff.

Well, Liam, it has been a pleasure. And for everyone out there definitely go take his free mini course. have, you know, the more you can understand about the power that you have within you that as you said, we were not, we're not taught this. It's like we're taught steps, procedures, processes, but use what is innately yours to get to, like you said that that natural state the nature is within you. So, again, everyone live now love now relaunch now into finding more about your green so that you can reach those levels of success and not have to be pushing. And as you said, the price we pay no more. This is free to you. So anyway, thank you again, everyone. We will see you again next week. Take care.

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