Living Your Bucket List: How Midlife Loss Can Inspire Bold Reinvention

We have so many coming of age films out there, and I love that genre, but I'm like, we need a coming of middle age film. There is a second puberty that happens with women specifically, and it's not talked about. I'm like, if men went through anything similar to menopause, they would be all everywhere. But here we are. We go through this whole change in life.

Welcome to the ReLaunch podcast. And oh, my heart is big, but yet, there's also this pull and my guest today, wow. I mean, this is going to be a true story a bold transformation, really looking at life within a different lens, literally a different lens. Who I have today on is Katie Prentice. She's an award winning actor, filmmaker known for her films like winter Island and front porches. Katie began her acting career, not when she was brand spanking young and kind of going out there. And I'm going to do this, she actually started it later in life, and we're going to talk about that. And she's been doing this since 2020, and it really started after a very deep personal loss, and it was something near and dear to my heart as well. And we're going to go into that loss, that relaunch, and it's a journey that left a lasting impact on her life, on her art, where she's going in life. This is going to be one of those inspirational shows that you're going to want to listen to over and over again. So join us as we dive into Katie's inspiring journey of reinvention and creativity. Katie, I've been looking forward to this so much.

Thank you for having me. Hillary, it's so nice to be here with you,

and when we met, it was like we were soul sisters. And sometimes we are brought together because of similar similar life relaunches, and that was one that we had. And I would love to start with having you talk about this massive life altering relaunch that happened to you that changed everything literally and got you into a brand new profession, becoming an actress. We're going to talk all about that because I know there's a lot of people out there that are, you know, we all as little girls. We're like, could it be? So tell us. Tell us your journey.

Wow. Where do we start? Hillary,

the truth, yes, yeah, how do you even start the conversation?

I think for me, I love the perspective that being in midlife gives us, because I can look back and see seasons and chapters of my life and know that those that they move on that's not the complete story, and I feel like that gives me so much hope when we're thinking about whatever season We're in, maybe it's not the most inspiring or exciting time in our life, but things can change, and I feel like my story does showcase that. So I feel like I'm a person who always gravitated towards stories. I was an English major in college, and then had my four little children and stayed home with them for a while, and then moved into a career as a portrait photographer for years. I've had that business for 17 years now, and even with that, I felt like I focused so much on people's stories. Well, then at the young age of 62 my mom was diagnosed with Frontotemporal dementia. FTD is what is easier to say,

and dementia that was progressive

right then? Yeah, yeah. FTD is a type of dementia that less people know about, but it's the most common type of dementia under the age of 65 so I was young, late 30s, when we realized my mom had this. We realized a lot was going on with her, and we weren't sure what it was, and it took a while to get the diagnosis. But that's a devastating journey to be dealing you know you're thinking about your mom being your kid's grandma, and like coming to give you support as a parent. And then, lo and behold, my siblings and I found ourselves being the parent to our mom, that journey of walking my mom to the end of her life.

How long? How long did it take before she passed?

My mom was diagnosed at 62 and we lost her at 68 so six years

I often think, you know sometimes, because my mom was diagnosed with colon cancer, and we lost her 14 months later, you know the it's still and I've lost grandparents and tragic car crashes that they died, you know, right there and then. And so there's this, you know, which is better? Is it the lengthier loss? Is it the shorter loss? It's like nothing is good. It all feels like that, that knife going into your heart, right?

And they're all very different types of crisis or trauma, right? Because you you have the trauma of an unexpected death is just the shock and trying to process the trauma of losing someone to dementia is the grieving while they're still alive. You're grieving. The law sets right in front of your face constantly, because my mom was disappearing very actively, even while

before this, you guys were just she was your rock. You were really super close,

yeah, my mom was just a sweetheart. She was like, a happy go lucky, like, do anything for you type of person. So you know she'd come to the house, and I knew she'd be like cleaning and supporting, however, I would need her too. So I love

that you're saying cleaning. It was amazing. My love language. You come to my house, you start cleaning. That is all good by

me. Who else would do that, besides your mom? Totally,

just like, fighting things up. I remember those days of Judy being doing it too, no doubt,

yeah, just like, walk in and start doing it, and I'm like, go do it. Like, that's amazing.

One of the things that you and I both talked about is that there is that moment that you do lose your mom, you lose the conversations. I felt like it happened the second she called me and said, I have 13 tumors in my liver. I was like, like, from that point on, we never had the joyful conversations again. Never like. It was so abrupt. It was so like, every conversation was doctor's appointments and what we were going to do and cancer treatments. And it was, it was awful. It was awful. So you're watching your mom, yeah, slowly disappear. What? What is that even like? Yeah,

it's, um, you know, it's funny, because looking back, I think we were losing her before we even were aware of the FTD, because my mom's personality, we saw my mom's personality shift even when I was in college. Saw major shifts happening. So I know the degeneration of her brain was happening like way before. It's just no one was aware of what was going on. She lost her personality like her. She was always real tender, like she would cry at commercials or movies, and that went away. My mom had primary progressive aphasia, which means she lost her ability to speak. So even communicating with her, it's kind of like you said with your mom, like you're all of a sudden, your conversations are shifted toward medical and and this crisis. And I think that's a grief too, because you don't get to share in, like, the regular life anymore with my mom. I just it's like, not even be she wasn't able to, like, say anything. So it's almost like I nanny for an autistic child when I was younger, and it felt like that, like my mom was stuck inside, deep inside, and I wanted to reach in and be able to get to her, but there was just such a barrier with the dementia. So

your mom passes, and you decide to do something completely different. And as you said, you have four kids, yeah. I mean, you are not like, you know, just sitting on the sidelines, having them on bonds. You know, this life is great. You're a busy, busy person. And so tell us about that relaunch, because I'm fascinated how that, yeah,

yeah, thanks. You know, I think, like, there's nothing like being really close to death and like losing someone like that that gives you perspective on life. Like, what do I actually want my life to be about? And I was, I was actually, like, having, I'm thriving in my photography business, and I'm literally at work, and I'm thinking, Oh, I don't have a bucket list. That'd be fun to make a bucket list. And I literally was like, I only know of one thing I want to put on there, and I want, I want to be on a set, because I was seeing like, different productions film around town. And so I was like, I'm going to put, like, be on a set on my bucket list. It wasn't even like, I want to be an actor.

Or even talking about, like a vision board. You're just what I call a believe it board. You're like, literally, just, what's my bucket list? What do I want to

do? And random idea while I'm working,

I just want to be on a set. Did you define it like, hey, I want to be an actress? Or no, just hey, I want to be on a set. Because

it's almost it felt like, because I knew so little about the industry or anything about how things work, it would be the same as like, Oh, I think I want to be like a musician in midlife. I'm just gonna all of a sudden be this like person who does this work that,

you know what I mean, the way is happening more and more everyone listening, understand that just because we're in midlife, it is like people are starting fresh relaunches to do the foods that they really want. It's go time everyone. It is go. Let's go

like you don't want to live I don't want to be at the end of my life wondering, What if I had done something. Okay, so I grew up. I grew up in LA, I know how, you know,

listen, I went to school lot of, like, celebrity, a lot of celebrity kids, you know, Punky Brewster, the big ones. And, I mean, it's tough. It's really tough. So yeah, middle age, you're like, This is what I want. How did you go about it? First off, like, how did you start down this path? Because we talked about some movies you've been in. There's something super exciting that you're working on right now. But for those out there that are like, Okay, how do you do it? Yeah,

I mean, I can tell you, like, advice. So there's, like, all sorts of ways to get your foot in the door. I mean, I would say, like, if you're really interested in acting, join an acting class, because they'll tell you everything about, like, the industry and how to do it. I however, kind of back door the whole thing. I I thought I would just go be a background actor on a set somewhere, just to like, say I saw one, and it was cool. Instead, I saw a casting breakdown on a female entrepreneur Facebook site. So it almost feels like it landed in my lap. I saw this casting breakdown, the role described the character they were looking for. And I was like, that's

not even hold on. I know, yeah, sure, sure. Sure. Casting breakdown, if we don't work in the business, I love

that. It was literally a Facebook post that said we're looking for someone to play this character. Here's the type. And it said, like 30s to 40s, like Caucasian female, blah, blah, blah, and, and so I I, I wasn't looking for it, but I was in this female entrepreneur Facebook page, and I thought that, okay, well, I fit that type. And it said, You're gonna love this. It said, message us if you're interested. And so I was like, it just says if you're interested. It doesn't say if you're talented, so I'm gonna try. And I was kind of embarrassed because I thought if anyone, if they're gonna laugh, I thought they're gonna look at my Facebook profile and laugh and just be like, whatever. She's not an actor. But I messaged them and I said, I'm interested. I literally said that much, because I thought if I said more, it might like help me. They were like, Great, can you send us a self tape tomorrow? And I was like, I don't know what a self tape is, but yeah, so immediately I Google what is I'm like, Googling self tape, and I'm watching YouTube videos of what like, what do you do on the self tape? It's basically setting your camera up and recording your audition. And I, I think because I'd been an entrepreneur for so many years, for me, like, acting just became that like. So basically, I called my husband and I said, Can you come to my office after work, and I want you to help me record this thing on my phone. Do not tell a single soul that I'm doing this, because I'm going to embarrass myself.

How old are you at this point? I need to know I

was. I've lost track. I was like in my early 40s. Okay, so your early

40s and you're now doing this. Don't, don't tell anyone I'm doing this. Okay, you you do this tape. Yes,

I that. I thought that. Again, they're gonna laugh. But this is why we take risk. Like it doesn't matter if people think we're foolish when we're taking a risk and going for what we want. It's worth it. So

I read a quote that you said, people will take you as seriously as you take yourself. Yes. I mean, bam, girl right there. Yes,

I stand by that so much because it's so easy to like, disregard ourselves and take ourselves out of the equation. And I always say, like, never say no for someone else. Yes, and we do that all the time. We say, Oh, I'm not going to do that because they're going to say no. And I kept thinking that they're going to say no. That's a limiting belief, right there. Yes, exactly, nope.

I'm not even going to try because they're it's automatic. Yeah, it's not going to happen. So

I submitted this audition, and I ended up booking this role. And I was like, a deer in headlights going to set. I was like, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm just going to quietly observe and do my best at whatever is about to happen. It wasn't a background role, it was a full scene with a whole conversational dialog and everything. And I was like a kid in a candy shop in there. I was, yes, being a portrait photographer, basically directing shoots for so many years. I love the interaction with with people. I love trying to allow people to relax and let them feel some like good vibes on a shoot. And here I was on the other side of the camera, watching cameras, watching lights, watching directors, other actors, and I'm like, I get to just be a piece of this. And in this community, this is phenomenal. And I thought, even on that set, I thought, Oh, this will be this is way better for my bucket list item, like, this is way better than I thought. And how cool really went.

There you were thinking that. Okay, so I do have to ask you this, and I'm always curious, whenever I run into an actor, and I'll ask this, how the heck do you memorize the lines? How is that possible? Like, what is behind the scenes in the brain? What are you doing? Well, this

is a this is a thing too, because when was the last time you memorized anything, I that was the other thing with me. I was like, Oh, I haven't memorized something in so long. I wonder if I can even do this. And so, I mean, there's, there's a lot of different strategies people use. I think with dialog, there's like, it's so much easier because there's keywords that can kind of trigger what your response might be, especially if the dialog makes sense, if you have a very technical dialog, like medical or legal or like whatever tech jargon, it can be really complicated, what's

the longest? What is the longest, like speech monolog that you ever have done so far, that you had to memorize.

That's a great Well, I mean, I mean, I played a lead. And, you know, leads in a film you're memorizing, like, all the time, like, 100, 100 pages.

I went and saw the guy from the morning show, yeah, he has a one man show, and I can't remember his name, and I thought about this, I'm like, how the how, how the heck is he doing this? Like, it is so impressive. I would have to have, like, you know, somebody would be holding off on the sides, like, say this next, say this next, and you see the flying paper. It's so impressive. I really like that. But now let's keep going, because I really want to hear that. We've talked about the past, we talked about the pain, we talked about how hard it is to kind of move forward, the fact that you, like, woke up in midlife and you're like, what do I really want to do? Bucket list, this is what I'm going to be doing. Yeah, and now you're involved in this. So this is your life, your students.

I literally was like, Okay, I got away with that once. I wonder if I can get away with this again. And I I was like, I have nothing to lose. This is what midlife gives us. I have I have a family, I have a career. Like, all of this is, like, rich and beautiful, so why not try something else too? But I approach it like, Okay, I have, I don't have a lot of time in my mind. I don't really believe that, but I also felt that, like, I, if I'm going to do this, I want to be all in and so I immediately sign up for acting classes. I like, throw myself into it. I study everything I can. I like, expose myself. I auditioned for everything I can get because I'm like, let's go, if we're going to go, I want to. I want yeah and no time, yeah and so one of the things my acting coach talked about was creating your own work as actors. And you see actors all the time as producers and directors of shows. Half the time, the lead actor is a producer on the show because they know they have to produce their own work.

So that that's really interesting, yeah.

And I'm telling you, it's like, okay, let's talk about odds, even though I don't even care about odds. But like midlife white woman trying to act, oh, there's not any of us in this industry. One to book roles, right? And how many roles are there for women over 30, much less even older. So. But. So I was like, oh, yeah, no one is

it's coming up. I have to do it like with all of the streaming, with Amazon Prime, with Netflix, all these different it seems like now there's actually a lot more opportunity to create. Is that? Is that not true? I mean, in the past, it seemed like you were either on the movies, like in the movie, you've got a TV show, and it was kind of like in when I was growing up, people didn't cross over. Now everyone's crossing over. They're doing it, which maybe makes it even more challenging, because then now you've got women like Jennifer Aniston, who are in major feature films, and they're doing TV, and they're doing all these other things, yes,

and with COVID and the pandemic, and then also the strike there, there's like scarcity, so a lot of the bigger named actors are now taking commercials that they would never take and like, etc. So it's, it's interesting that the industry is very saturated. And so on one hand, you're like, Oh, cool. There's so many streaming platforms, maybe we can get some films out there. However, it's so saturated that, how do you get eyes on your film? Like, how do you think about we used to all watch the same things now, like, you can't even keep up. You're like, you could be at a dinner with four people, and everyone's watching completely different shows, and you haven't even heard of the shows people are watching.

That is so true. And I do this. I do this, when I go out to with people, I'll say, so what is the favorite show you're watching? Yes, and I have a little list on my phone, yeah. And, I mean, I just watched Shogun. I'm like, what? Like, yeah, and now I'm on to this next one, and I'm like, everything. You're right. I would never like, there's shows that I don't even know about, I haven't even heard about, so you're right, interesting.

So I think that there's probably going to be another shift where, like, you know, all these streaming platforms have divided and gotten more and more and more. And I think there's gonna have to be something, because the way the industry is, like, money, money, money. And it's like, if people aren't making money on their films, like, are, and the there's a whole, is there a return to the theater? Like, are people supporting theaters in the same way that they used to? So it's interesting. I think all of that is happening, and also, like, I am like, I'm in my own lane, and I'm doing my own thing. And like, I kind of am like, yes, that's super important. And whatever I'm like, gonna be working. It's

a great spot to be middle aged and have that type of, you know what? Love my family, love my kids. Yeah, this works great. You know, having fun doing it. But let's talk about this future relaunch, what you're working on, where you're going, because you're doing something that. When I heard about it, I was just like, I'm right now, getting chills, and people don't even know what we're talking about. But Share, share where you're going now, what it was next big project for you?

Well, it's been a phenomenal journey. I feel like I am, I am living my like calling and passion now because so where, where I put it on a whim in 2018 to like, start acting. And now here in 2024 I am making my first feature film, my first full length movie. I've made a number of short films and projects that I'm really proud of those have been like my education and also like building community. But this film is called wake up Maggie, and it's, it's my mission, honestly, Hillary, it is like, it is a film that is, I wrote the script. It's, it's, the context is fiction, but the story is so true. It's either based exactly on my experience with my mom, like the different sniffing your mom actions, your mom's name was my mom's name was Maggie, yeah, and I'm actually playing Maggie in the film.

Remember when we first talked? This is great. Yes, I'm doing this. And I said, Why are you saying my you're like that day. You said, You know what? I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna play the part. And even now I got chills head. Yeah, so good. You wrote it, and you're going to direct it, yes, and you are going to be the executive producer on it, yes. I mean, we're talking like, Trifecta here. Girl,

I know I am working so hard, but it's the kind of work that, even though it's like, wow, I've been working for two years on this project, and it's like, so fulfilling and so rewarding and and I keep saying, like, the energy in the impact that this film has had already, and we haven't even filmed it yet, and it's like, it blows my mind. I keep saying to my producer, I'm like, we are in. Impacting people. People are coming to me and telling me their stories, and they don't need like, the film hasn't been filmed yet, and I'm like, just think about what's going to happen when people get to watch this story unfold on the screen and see

tell us the a little bit of the premise. Because sure, you said, when we were talking last you made such a great comment. You said, midlife is, you know, it's here for so many of us. And I think that there's a stat that says 1.3 million women enter into midlife every single year. So hey, we are we're here. This is our The vibe is in the tribe we're vibrating right now. I love that. And you said, it's so incredible how you're finding women that are coming together to support you and each other keep going with this and the context of what you have created. And why is this happening? Why is there this huge groundswell around this movie

for for a few different reasons? So I'm calling this film a coming of middle age film. We have so many coming of age films out there, and I love that genre, but I'm like, we need a coming of middle age film. There is a second puberty that happens with women specifically, and it's not talked about. And I think primarily because men have always been in charge of all of our medical fields and whatnot. And so I'm like, if men went through anything similar to menopause, they would be all everywhere. But here we are. We go through this whole change in life, and I think that women, the women I see in my life, come into their own in such a beautiful way. In midlife, it's like we start to own who we are, and it's less pretense, it's less distrusting your own intuition. It's all of the things that we've done to survive through our years, and then then we get so grounded in the life so wake up Maggie is a journey of Maggie in midlife, moving from believing and controlling a lot of her life until she can't she gets a wake up call that forces her to move into a place of acceptance and Maggie's journey. So just a little bit about the film is Maggie tightly controls her life until she gets a call from her estranged sister that she's in trouble and she has to decide whether to enter into Jane's life and help her. But she's a consummate caregiver, so she says yes, and when she goes to help her sister, she realizes more is going on. So it's a journey of Maggie coming into acceptance, and it's through caregiving. I call it my love letter to caregivers. Anyone who has sat bedside help their loved one eat all the things that we do where we can barely get our own showers or our own meals. It's that journey of desperation, of what am I going to do next? How do I figure this out? Like, what? What doctor do I need? Who do I call? It's all of that that you know so well, and so personally, Hillary and so many of us know, but it's an invisible it's such an invisible role. And I want caregivers to feel visible in this. I want women in midlife to feel visible in this, and men, too. I think that this is a film that is going to make us feel seen. And I think this industry believes that midlife women like don't matter as much, but I want to prove that we're a vibrant audience, that we're a vibrant life force, and like bring everyone out to the theaters to see this film and celebrate the journeys we've been on, to know that there is hope and healing at the end and relaunches, right?

And relaunches, and I think we're all sitting here smiling, because you're right. There's been a lot of coming of age movies, but to there's, there's a swell, there's this like momentum building for midlife and talking about it, and discussing the wellness, the the mindset, the physical aspects of it, the the need. I mean, right now, if you think about it, we have such wisdom. And as you continue to grow, there's so much and yet there's this feeling of being irrelevant and like, you know, wait what? There's like so much. But you know, people think, Oh, you're not tech savvy, you're not this, you're not that, and oh, you're getting older, and the the workplace is getting younger. Let me tell you. I mean. I work with 1000s of women, yes, and I bring women together in these, you know, incredible events when they start to share what they want to do in this, this next act, right? The next chapter, it's incredible. What we need is the confidence. As you said, people will take you as seriously as you take yourself confidence. It's like, This is it? Yes, I do it now, and you creating this movie, perfect timing. So when are you starting to film? When do you expect it to come out? And how can we help you get it on.

I love that question. Um, so we're filming in February 2025, and post, are you filming? Where are you filming? We're filming in Portland, Oregon, okay, we have been fundraising. But I also, I feel like fundraising is like energy raising, right? It's like, it's like money, time, energy, it's like, all from the same bucket. And so when I look at people who have jumped into this project with us, I'm like, this is our community. Like, this is our audience. This we get to celebrate this work together. And I cannot wait. So my hope is, as we grow our community around this project and this film that we'll get to all celebrate in theaters across the country together for screenings, my hope is to finish the film within a year of shooting it

post production. How long will it take to shoot it.

We're gonna film for we're gonna film in February. We're planning a shoot for about 16 to 18 days. That is crazy fast,

yeah, very fast shoot,

yeah. If we had millions of dollars, we would take a little longer. Okay,

Katie, that's your next movie. Let me tell you. I work with people that have like, Okay, this we're starting small, and they go big, and it doesn't have to take years. So

I don't think it should. I mean, it's all about connecting with the right people, and it's about, I think again, like you said, it's like women in midlife, I cannot count how many of us that I've sat down for coffee with or something. And they're like, Let's get your movie made. What do we need to do? And I'm like, I think women just could do anything, especially at this stage in life. My

God, I totally I am loving where you're going with this. Yes. So at this point, as we are wrapping up the show when you think about February, I mean, that is just coming down the pike here. Girl, yeah, what? What are you experiencing right now?

I honestly am. It's funny, because I'll have days where I'll feel anxious and like I can tell my system is just buzzy and amped, but if there's any overall feeling, it's just like I feel joy and ease. And there is so much work that has to be done leading into this production, and it is going to be a lot, especially for this one right here, yeah, but I the team that is gathering around me makes me feel so supported, and the energy gathering around this movie, wake up. Maggie is so strong that I just

have I'm going to come see you, please, in February, I'm going to come to Oregon. I'm going to be a part of the people behind the scenes, watching you just in your element. I often relaunch. We're in the business of butterflies. Like giving people those butterfly moments, I'm gonna capture you in your essence, right there. Girl, how can people find out more about this? Support you. What can they do? Thank

you. Thank you. Where I'm everywhere under. Katie Prentice, so Katie prentice.com, all my social media is. Katie Prentice, wake up Maggie is social media. Wake up Maggie movie on Facebook and Instagram, and then we also have wake up Maggie movie.com so I hope it's pretty easy to find. If anyone wants to come on and support with energy, words, financial backing, we will take it

and what's the best way to reach out? In regards to that,

you can find me through the website. You I don't mind a DM, or if you want to just email me through my website. All my contact info, INFO is out there. So and ways to support our on Wake up, Maggie movie.com, we have, we have a fiscal sponsor. So all of our our donations can be tax deductible if anyone needs a tax break. And how

are you able to do that? How are you able to give people a tax break? We,

we are under a fiscal sponsorship here in Oregon, so it's a nonprofit community theater called Hollywood theater, and they we had to go through a pretty intensive application process to be sponsored by them, and it's something I'm really proud of. We've also received another grant locally and things like that. So the Fiscal Sponsorship just feels like such a lovely community effort, and I think it works so well for a movie like this that's going to raise awareness and impact so many lives, to be under the umbrella of a nonprofit is just a really beautiful opportunity for us. Katie

Prentice, thank you for being here today, and I am so excited to see where you go and to see you know, at one of these, one of these years to have you get up there and accept the Academy Award, whether it's Best Actress, whether it is best director or executive producer girl, this is going

to happen. So thank you, Hillary, you're an inspiration to me.

Well, everyone, thank you for tuning in today and again. Live, now, Love, Now, relaunch. Now. What are you going to do? Where are you going? What's next for you? Don't stop now. It is go time. We'll be back next week. Thanks. Again.