From Making Just Enough, to An Abundance of Wealth In Business

Hey everyone, welcome to today's show and it's gonna be a great wrap up for those that are listening in the new year you are in for a real treat with this one. Why? Because how many of us don't even realize why we are we have weird things happen when we start talking about finances. We have weird things happen when we hear money, or, or you do have a rich, you know? Or is your is your business in a rich position? Why is that? And today, I have somebody coming on his name is Mel Abraham. He is somebody that I personally have worked with, I have admired for years. And when I first heard him talk, all I thought was, how do I start working with him? I need this we all need to uplevel ourselves. And in the book, the relaunch, spark your heart to ignite your life. What did we talk about in one of the chapters we talked about, like bad lady, but today, I'm going to ask now, why are there bag men? What's up with that? So today I have Mel again, Mel Abraham, my dear friend who helps business owners and entrepreneurs build meaningful businesses so that they can have more profit, fans and freedom, we're gonna go deep into that freedom part, his principles help customers become raving fans. And your life really becomes full with fulfillment from a business that is congruent with your values. It's in alignment with your higher vision. always hear me talk higher self. This is the higher vision. And it's connected to all stakeholders at an emotional level, because you're starting to see why I love this guy. Mel began his entrepreneurial journey at age 11 performing magic shows for parties. And it was this early taste of entrepreneurship that spurred him on to look at how to create a life on his own terms. And he included that by being an entrepreneur. He was fueled by his education and background as a CPA, but he's not like your typical CPAs do not think that this is going to be a boring show. Mel spent most of his early career obsessing about understanding what drives business success, but more importantly, how to create a life that you design, through your entrepreneurship, and your business. And he he's learned how to build a business from virtually nothing after a partnership, which we're going to go into how to massive breakup. And he was left with zero clients, no cash flow, no work backlog, and almost a half a million dollars in debt. It was during this time where Mel rebuilt his business and life that he got what he calls his greatest business lesson. And we're going to talk about where that came from. And it is quite unexpected. That same year was when mal became a single full time dad of his six year old son. And shortly after this, his son gave Mao the vision of how he was going to really change his life and I'm not going to even give you any more on that story. And in this he created this business for business sake that business was not about the business sake it was about life. Life is what we're really creating here. And more importantly, he wants to get that meaning of business out there into your hands so that you can start to have the life that we all are craving and not be not feel like we are under under this umbrella of finances that's so heavy and weighted on our shoulder but literally take it away see this sign. Let's talk about you know the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow here.

You're listening to the ReLaunch podcast and I'm your host Hillary DeCesare, best selling author, speaker and transformational coach widely recognized in the worlds of neuro psychology and business launches, which cultivated the one and only three HQ method helping midlife women. Yep, that's me to rebuild a life of purpose, possibility and inspiring business ventures. Each week, we'll be diving into the stories that brought upon the most inspirational relaunches while sharing the methods and the secrets They learned along the way, so that you too can have not just an ordinary relaunch, but an extraordinary relaunch.

Mel, welcome. That was a really great introduction.

Oh my god, Hillary, it's downhill from here. But it's so good to be on here, finally, and get a chance to chat with you. I'm really excited. So thank you.

I think that there's always this and I am gonna go straight in before we even get to the significant relaunch story. What is it about finance, about financials that literally throws up the walls for so many people? What is it?

You know, and this is something that that I started to explore. Because when I started to, to really speak into the money game, I thought, I thought being a CPA, I was going to come into this and say, I'm just going to teach you to tactics. Here's where you put your money, here's what you do with your money. But I found that really quickly. But there's, there's a whole lot of stuff going on in between the ears, and in the heart and soul. That money is wrapped around, and and that the tactics weren't going to work if we didn't get past that. And so that's where I started to go, Well, where did this come from? Where, where does this happen? And a lot of times it's innocent in the sense that we don't even realize it's happened. You know, we don't know where this stuff comes from. Now, there's some things that are more societal, for instance, you know, money is a taboo topic, you we grow up saying, Don't Don't talk about money. Don't ask about salary. Don't do this, because it's impolite. But I am. First off,

where did that come from that whole impolite thing, because I gotta tell you, I took an Uber last night, massive snowstorm taking an Uber. And this guy starts telling me that he just got a big promotion. And I said, That is terrific. And he said, Well, yeah, I'm going to be making $18,000 more. And now I'm going to be able to go to that steak house that I'm dropping you off at. But I still think that that's an expensive steak. And I'm just like, wow, this guy is not afraid of like sharing his money stories. He's literally telling me everything. And I got, I got down to how much exactly he makes per month without ever asking, but a majority of us. We don't We it has been considered taboo, as you said. And when did that when was the flip of like, let's not talk about finance, and that it's there's something negative there if we bring it up?

I don't have that answer, in the sense that I think it's been around for a long time, the demonization of wealth, richness and money. I mean, go and just look at some of even the older cartoons that we grew up on. And how do they portray someone who has money in the cartoon, and the subliminal unconscious messaging that comes across that we don't even realize it's happening, we go, oh, I don't want to be like that. I don't. And so all of a sudden, we start repelling money, we don't talk about it. So we don't, we're not putting it in the proper frame, a cartoon. But yet, we're taking it in unconsciously. And if we're not careful, it actually embeds and becomes part of what I call your money, identity. That becomes a challenge. Right? So, so the very first thing is that and then you see the demonization in the media, and social media at some level, or even the other side of it, where people are parading their Lambos and their jets and all that stuff. And you go, I don't want to be seen like that, either. So what happens is we stand in our own way.

Well, and I laugh, because, you know, I've seen a show where it was like, behind the scenes of what people really have, like, you know, on the outside, they're showing the Lambos and they're showing the you know, the big houses and the Malibu lavish lifestyle and then the undercover is like, okay, they're, they're barely able to, you know, put, you know, two pennies together and they don't have that Lambo. In fact, they're, they're, you know, barely even getting around. But I want to talk about this idea of you really, you know, you went down you were a CPA, but then life started to change for you. And you had a massive you've actually had numerous relaunches, and I would like to get into here like the real relaunch, man, you know, it's like the million who was that? Who is the guy the the million you know, he was, he had all the different parts of $6 million, man. Well, you're like the, the million million million man of relaunches. So, what would you say here? As you know, people are listening in what were your Significant relaunches that got you to be able to say, hey, I want to help people figure out their, as you said, Money identity.

The first relaunch was, and you mentioned that at the beginning was at the hands of a six year old child. And it wasn't what got me to sit back and say, I want to help people that had me look at things and say, how do I be a better dad? How do I? How do I do money in business differently, so I can be the best dad possible. And it was really out of that. Because like you said, I had I had a partnership I was doing well, I, you know, I thought and then the partners decide they're gonna push me out of out the door, say, we don't want to be partners with you anymore. And here I am struggling saying I got no cash flow, I got no clients. It's the year that I became a full time data, my boy. And I did what most entrepreneurs do, you put your head down, you dig your heels in, you start running the miles and I got on the treadmill, I started running, and all of a sudden I start getting cast, clients start getting cash and things start looking good. I think we're going to do this, we're going to do this. And then Jeremy, my son comes running in from school and says, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, I drew us a picture of you at school today. And so I kneel down and there's this picture of me and blue felt tip pen stick figure standing in front of two computer screens with a phone in each year, and another phone on the desk bringing. And in that moment, I said, Oh, I am screwing this thing up. Badly. Now. There was this urgent pull to go Jeremy, I need to do this, I was going to justify it, I need to do this. We need the profits so we can do the things we want to do. And it's for you that I do this now. That is one you start to think about what that would have done to him. But the reality is that once I stepped back, because I had so many people in my ear saying well, you just have to get work life balance, like a wave with weight. Balance insinuates you have to counter balancing weights playing tug of war with each other, so they just don't move. That's not life. And so it isn't really about balance. And when I realized it was really about harmony, then I had to look at and say how do I do money? How do I do business differently. So I serve the greatest gift. And that was being a debt. Because instead of looking at him saying, dude, we need the profits so we can do the things we love to do. He didn't care about my profits, he cared about my presence with him. And that's when I started to rethink what it what it was I did and how I did it. It doesn't doesn't mean that it was easy. But full circle, what really happened is that the lessons that I've learned to do money differently, to do business differently to give me the freedom and the flexibility to be with him at his practices to be a dad now he's 32 years old, one grand grandchild, another grandchild on the way and we're best of friends.

You know, the song cats in the cradle? Cats in the cradle. Yeah. You know, I mean, I'm listening. It's in my head right now I got the tune, you know, rolling, you know, when you come and Dad, and all that. And I think that you at that point, saw something and realize that the almighty dollar, working yourself to the bone is not going to get you connected to have, as you said, the harmony of life, right? There's balance. And there isn't this pendulum that's just you know, can keep you right there. There's always going to be relaunches, and you were relaunching relaunching through, you know, this, this terrible thing that happened at your work. We've discussed the terrible thing that happened, you know, with my one of my companies, where, you know, you often sit there and say what the heck happened. But it changed that relaunch significantly brought you to a point where you were able to see your son's picture and say, You know what, I'm not going to do this, but you're a single dad, and you still have to, and I get this a lot with my clients. Hey, Hilary, hey, Mel, I have to make money if I don't make money, I can't pay the bills. I can't and it's that point, I'd love for you to talk about where people are saying, you know, 100 Yeah, it's great. I want to have that balance. But how do you do it? How do you make that a reality?

So here's the first thing that I think that we all need to understand. Why do we need to make the money because it isn't for them. Money. We think we want Financial Freedom Friday, financial freedom is the most rudimentary freedom you can ask for. It's not the money we need. It's the richness it provides in experiencing life that we need. It's that peace. And when we start to understand that we, then we look at money through experiences, I still believe that the best measure of wealth isn't dollars or pounds or euros, it's time. It's minutes, and it's moments. And when we are willing to measure the wealth of our life, the richness of our life, in the moments that we control, now we have something to create richness. And I knew that I had to control the moments with Jeremy. And to create special moments with him, even though I had to work. And one of the ways we did that, is I created a calendar. And on that calendar were red zones, those red zones were hits, never moved, never, never adjusted, and never came up with excuse if a client didn't understand they weren't a client for very long. And so I came back at it and saying, my values are this. And if I'm going to be valuable to you, I have to serve this way. And so Jeremy always knew the red zones were his, he always knew when I was traveling, but he also always knew that he was the priority. And if he needed something, everything would get cleared. And it was how we experienced the moments that we did share. Because how often are we in a restaurant with a spouse or significant other or something, and you see people on their phones, they're not present. So the moment doesn't matter. So make each moment matter, which then allows that to carry through because yes, you have to pay the bills, I totally get that. But that doesn't mean that you take away the moments or the presence of the moments to those that you love. And those that means something to you,

your your chest hitting that spark in my heart, so So my chair because I often really look at it, like what is an abundant life. Abundance is first you start with like having that abundant mindset. And then as you said, it goes into the business, right? Because we often say your business is a direct reflection of you. And if you're not showing up for your kids, your family, yourself, then the impact will hit the business. And people don't realize that you will be you know, far wealthier, far more in abundance, if you can really look at it from the perspective of, hey, I need to be in a joyful state. And that means spending more time doing the things that you love. So taking that time, these people that you know, work 6070 hours a week, and you know, it just, they're never they're never at that peaceful state. So I think that what you've said is just so incredible. We have to take a short break. But when we get back, we're going to go into a little bit more around. How do you get that abundant mindset around your financials. If you're just starting out as an entrepreneur, we'll be right back. This episode is brought to you by my very own labor of love my most recent book relaunch. This book is a collection of my stories, other stories and is a motivational guide to living a new three h q lifestyle, sparking your heart to ignite your life. It's available for purchase via Amazon, get ready to try on the three HQ method that I've been using for years throughout my entire life reaching the next level in all areas, both professionally and personally. Get your copy today at www dot the relaunch book.com Hey there I am here with Mel Abraham and we are talking all things money. What does money actually mean? How do we get an abundant mindset which will absolutely impact your life, your business how happy you are within? But for some, you know, it sounds like it's a pipe dream. It sounds like you know how do I really get there Mel and I before the break we were talking about you know, what can you do? How do you handle this and we talked about his specific relaunch where his son his six year old son drew a picture that basically showed him working, working working in front of his two monitors the phones all these things, and he realized that he had to not get balanced life he had to get harmony of life. So we are back with Mel Hi Mel so happy to be back. And we're gonna go into a a part of this that I know you you were able to start to you with this experience with your son, you were building your business up. And you were still having this opportunity to have that the financial freedom that we were talking about the can you share more about, you know, again relaunches happen, and yet another one came at you.

Yeah, they say that if you don't get the message the first time, it's going to keep coming louder until you finally get the message. And I think this was the loudest message I could have gotten, I'll just kind of set the stage because it was 2019. So it was pre pandemic, things were going well, I am effectively we were financially free doing what we want to do, I was traveling the world and I was speaking and, you know, great relationship with my beautiful bride and, and all that and, and I literally got off of a G five of a private jet that I had flown home on, not mine. So, so someone else paid for it, which is a good way to do it. But the fact of the matter, and I only tell you this not to impress you but to tell you where my life was, it felt like it was hitting on all cylinders. And literally two weeks after I stepped off that jet. I found myself in a hospital bed, hearing three words, you have cancer. And in what what happened was, they found what they thought was a five centimeter tumor in my bladder. And it turned out to be seven and a half centimeters. And now I'm not Not that anyone is but I didn't have the risk factors of cancer in factors of cancer. I, my my no one in my family has ever had cancer. They said bladder cancer, the average age is 73. I looked at I said unless mom lied on the birth certificate. I'm not close to 73. I'm not a smoker. I'm not really a drinker. How did this happen? But what I knew in that moldy of

symptoms did you have stem cells coming? I

did i i the only symptom. I had no pain. But I had blood being blunt, they had blood in the ear. Yeah, that I was ignoring. And, and I was ignoring but but for my beautiful wife, who I've said something to him and she said, We need to get you in. And she wouldn't tell me what she thought it was now she has been in the medical field. So she had an idea what it was, she wouldn't tell me what it was. So I did the worst thing you could ever do. I went to Dr. Google, and I started searching and culture is an evil doctor. Oh my god. So but the bottom line is that as I'm getting ready to go in for surgery, the surgeon comes in says, You know what we're doing here and said, Yeah, you're gonna get rid of this thing. And he said, Yeah, but and he like, What do you mean, but I'm ready to go in surgery, I don't wanna hear but and he says, it's on top of the prostate. So I don't know. Right? Now, if we're going to have to remove the prostate, I can't see the ureter on the right side. So we might have to put a tube and a bag in for the kidney. And he says that if it's really bad, you stand the chance to lose your bladder. So now I realize the seriousness of it. Now I realized that my whole life could be changed, my whole life could be different. Everything was thrown up in the air. And so I sat back and I said, you know, I said to my wife and my son, were there and I said, We'll fight this, we'll beat it. But I knew that I had to be 100% focused on my health and my healing and my fight, and not on the business, not on on the finances. And the gift that came from Jeremy when he was six was the structuring of the finances and the money and the business in a way that I had to fight the cancer psychologically, physically, medically, spiritually, energetically. They didn't have to fight it financially. And that gift, have the flexibility to sit back and say, we're okay financially. Let's now focus on healing was huge, but it didn't really hit home for me about the, the need for this or the value of this until almost a year later when the pandemic hit. And I watched people struggle, financially. And I said, if they just did what I did, based on what Jeremy taught me, they wouldn't have struggled in the pandemic. And that's when it hit me. Because up to that point, a spiraled about trying to find something to blame the cancer on what did I do? Who did I do wrong to what did I eat? What did I let what happened? And I couldn't find it. And it was a dark spiraling down resentful place for a period of time. And it was this whole idea of finding the why finding the why and I kept looking behind me to find the why. And it was there in that moment where I looked at and said, What if The Y is actually in front of me, and not by me. And now, I have the opportunity to give the cancer, the meaning, I want to give it and I took it and said, the reason this cancer was given to me is because it was trying to get my attention to take this message to the world. And to help people see a pathway to financial freedom, which I happen to believe is your birthright. And to make sure that the taboos is done with and that we give them the tools, we equip them, we educate them, we empower them to take control of a new financial destiny. And for me, that's the gift that's coming down the cancer.

Well, thank God that you have taken that approach. And I do like that, you know, in one regard, you said that, you know, you either have to learn from the lesson or they keep repeating and you're like, Okay, wait, I've now absorbed this. I understand this. I've learned but I'm moving forward. I'm looking forward to that why? of where I'm going. So with that said, and that is just you know, incredible because we always think you know, just want to get getting through one relaunch something else happens. And you know, as we've said before, the together that this life, right life is about relaunches and what's going to happen? But you mentioned if you could only let people know what they should be doing during COVID, during times where you get sick during times where you have relaunches. Can you share with us? What do you recommend to people? Like is there a process? And you know, is there some takeaways that people can be right now? Yes, this is what this is what I need to be doing, or I need, I am not doing it now. I better figure out how to get in touch with Mel.

Yeah, so I think there's a couple of things. And the first place to start is actually the stories in our head. Because we have to, we have to separate it, here's what happens just give you the kind of what happens is most of our financial education is through observation. It's caught not taught because we don't teach it in school. There's only 14 states, I believe that require money to teaching in high school. But so we're observing our parents, we're observing our neighbors, we're observing the media, and we take that in. But the problem is our brain interprets it, it gives it the meaning we choose to give it they're greedy, it's bad to have money, whatever that interpretation is. But that interpretation is what leads to our identity. And when you lead to that identity, it impacts our behaviors. And our behaviors are actually what set our money setpoint our behaviors are what set our well. No one has money problems, we have behavior problems, where you are financially is a result of behaviors, choices, decisions and habits of the past.

Let's talk about some of those behavior problems. What are the most common ones that you see with entrepreneurs?

Part of it is probably FOMO is one, you know where you are comparing yourself to someone else, someone down the street just bought a Denali, and you go, Oh, I gotta go get one. Okay, I have a dear friend of ours, I happen to happen to drive a Tesla. He didn't. He wrote in my Tesla, him and his wife, we went to dinner. And literally two weeks later, he went and to the showroom. And he says, I'm going to test drive. And I and I knew what happened to me when I test drove it. I said do not do it. It's a fine, it's so true. And, and it's like, the challenge is we get caught into allowing those things around us to define how our life should look. And so we start buying things or buying into things that maybe don't represent our true identity. And so what I look at people's that I want you to live your life, whether it's a tent in Montana, or a yacht in Monaco, doesn't matter to me, as long as the chores. But if we're trying to build the yacht in Monaco, when you really want the tent in Montana, you're going to get there and you're going to be miserable. And you wonder why. And it's because you allow outside effects to determine how we're going to spend our money, how we're going to use our money, what we're going to do, and so I think that's probably one of the the biggest things that goes with the entrepreneurs. And then the second biggest thing is too often entrepreneurs see their business as their wealth. But their business isn't their wealth. Their business is the creator of their wealth. The business is meant to give you cash flow, and it's how we use the cash flow to build the wealth. It's going gives you the freedom, the freedom isn't inside the business, the freedom is outside the business. And too often entrepreneurs put everything into the business. Without regards to sitting back and saying what I do this is the lesson from Jeremy, is I realized that if I wasn't on the treadmill, making the money, the only way I was going to make more money has to run longer, faster, harder on the treadmill. And unless I build something outside that treadmill, I wouldn't have the freedom to spend with Jeremy. So we have to look at creating two machines. And that first machine is your business machine. That's for cashflow, that's for impact, that's four, four, for doing the things that you want to do. The second machine is the money machine. That's where you're going to find your freedom, that's where your legacy is, that's where all the things that will allow you the freedom to get your time back is going to resign. And when you do those together simultaneously, now, you come at it from a different perspective. Now, when things happen, you're okay.

That is such a incredible way that you just told that, in the sense of caught not taught from when we were young. And that it does it is about you know, the FOMO. And sometimes we don't even know why we're, we're buying things. And it's just, you know, we're moving forward, like, and then you realize a little later like, oh, yeah, you know, might have bought that, I guess so and so had that, and then I have it and and then you get it and you don't even want it. So even it overextend you, if you don't, you're not even appreciative, or you're like, it's somebody else's dream, not yours. But now, when you're talking about and this is so good about the business machine and the money machine. What do you suggest people do to? Or do you work on one first? Or do you simultaneously like you're on a highway? You're kind of in the fast lane, and you're in the middle lane?

Yeah, so you actually try, I want people to do both. And here's here's why. The first things first is that as part of your business, I want you to create a line item for wealth creation. That means that when you do promotions, or when you do campaigns, or you're working the profit, there needs to be a line on just like there's a line item for advertising, marketing, office expense, and all that there's a line item for your wealth. Making it a necessity, making it a priority in your world is the first step. Too often what we do is we make money, we spend money, we see what's left, and we're using what's left the scraps by the way to build our wealth. But what we really need to do is move the wealth creation into a priority position and make it a necessity. Someone asked me recently, they said, What's the difference between those that do and those that don't, I said, the difference is that too many people are focused on their wants, and not on their wills. We can want all day long, but wants our soft, fuzzy, easy to let go. But if you go out there and say I will do this and make a declaration, it's a scary place to be because you just declared it your your identity is now part of it. And people are going to hold you to it and you should hold yourself to it. And what I look at and say I'd rather you instead of especially this time of year, instead of setting a bunch of goals for the next year, I'd rather you spend spend the time setting three specific wills, I will do this, commit to it, and stay with it.

So what Hold on, hold on, hold on, what would you say are three specific wills that would be great for an entrepreneur who is trying to go from six to seven to eight figures? What would those wills be?

So for? From my perspective, the first will if they don't have it already, is I will make investing a priority. So what that means is you're going to put things on the backburner like, well, what are the people going to think if I don't have drive that expensive car or, or where I live those kinds of things. So that's the first that's the first will. The second one is I will examine critically examined my values and make sure that all decisions are driven by my values. So I am congruent and in alignment with what I'm doing. Let it there's plenty of people that have a lot of money. And because they're inconsistent with our values, they can't figure out why they're miserable. But it's because there's an inconsistency there's a conflict with their values. So we should be so so i i would do those those things first, then the third thing as an entrepreneur I will focus on the core things that will generate and optimize my profits. Because too often we get distracted. I think, technology all that

too often, we are so scattered. And we deplete our energy resources by doing too many things that aren't going to contribute to that profit margin that bottom line. So important, I think that these these wills, I like that you're, you're saying, you know, we just, you have to come at it from a different perspective. It's like the I am, I am statement and own it, and live it so that you're not just changing your identity, but you're changing your wealth identity. So good. So let me ask you a quick question. I'm often asked that if you are starting a business, or you're scaling your business, is it better to approach things that you've got to spend money to make money? Or is it better, to Hey, get the money first, earn the money, and then spend the money and borrow to grow?

There's statistics that show that when we start to borrow at the outset of the company, that the the probability of success goes down. Okay, so strategic borrowing can make sense. But, but just because you have access to money doesn't mean you should use the money. And so that the important thing is to look at and say, I'm going to make a business case for the borrowing, how am I going to recover the cost of the borrowing, and the profitability? And what is that going to give it give to me in the future. So it is it is not? Well, I'm just gonna borrow it without a plan behind it, there is a plan behind it. And when we build plans, we build multiple plans, because we know that one thing's for certain when you create a plan, it's not going to go as planned. So create the options and the alternatives before you hit the rapids. Now, when you hit the rapids, you have options already in place. And you have a specific way that you intended to pay the loan to loan back, plus the plus the interest and have profits in it. Now all of a sudden, it starts to make sense. But every dollar we spend in our business should be a strategic dollar with a return on investment coming back in either efficiency, time, or profitability.

So as we go into this break, I want to throw out there what we're going to talk about when we get back is there a lot of people that you think have successful businesses that have zero profit margins, they're not bringing any money home. And I am going to come back with Mel and we're going to discuss what you can do to change that future. And problem into progress for your own business. We'll be right back. This episode is brought to you by my very own labor of love my most recent book relaunch. This book is a collection of my stories, other stories and is a motivational guide to living a new three HQ lifestyle, sparking your heart to ignite your life. It's available for purchase via Amazon, get ready to try on the three HQ method that I've been using for years, throughout my entire life. Reaching the next level in all areas, both professionally. And personally. Get your copy today at www dot the relaunch book.com Welcome back, I'm here with Mel Abraham, and this is the segment that you're not gonna want to miss because for some of us, we get the train starts to roll and we're like, I gotta you know, spend more money, I gotta make this happen. This is my time. And then all of a sudden, you realize that you're spending more than you have in your profit margins. There's nothing to take home. And so Mel, what do you do? If you have gotten yourself into a position? Like I just said, is there something that you can offer some sound advice for the listeners?

Yeah, I think the first thing that you want to look at is first, what are your core revenue drivers? What products services or anything are the highest profit margins that you're doing? And look at that 8020 rule, Pareto Principle, because there's a lot of times we have products and services that we provide are not highly profitable, but they're taking a lot of time, and they're taking a lot of effort, and they take a lot of expense. So you can look at the top line revenues. The second thing is you're going to scrutinize every dollar that goes out. You're going to take it and you're going to look at every dollar and saying how is this making me more money? It's that whole Australian rowing analogy, you know, we only keep it if it makes the boat go faster. So you're going to scrutinize every dollar and every penny that goes out the door and say, am I getting a multiple back of it? Is it getting the return on investment? And if it isn't, it's going to it's going to get cut. And then the third thing is, is to look at and say, Alright, where are the opportunities, the easiest opportunities to scale cash flow, new offering, bundling something you already have, or something that we can go to an existing customer base or existing geography that maybe doesn't allow us because in that if we do that, we've now narrowed our focus on the core elements. We've optimized our expense structure, and we're looking for places to scale.

Okay, so when you're looking at all this, so many people are in fear of looking at their numbers. And there's often times where, you know, people, especially women, I've found, have real, you know, the money stories that we were talking about, that it's almost avoidance, like, I don't want to look at it, I'm not good at math, I've never understood it really. So then we hire somebody, and we just allow them to take over. And that's never a good idea. Why do you think that there is such an we talked bag lady, versus, you know, there's no such thing as a bag, man. But we all know, women, the number one fear of when I did my book, and I did all the research, number one, number one fear for women is that they're going to not have money when they're older. And even Oprah said that she put, you know, $50 million of cash, you know, stashed away in the house, because of this fear. Can you help us understand is there a difference between men and women and how we view how we view money and resources?

You know, this is going to be my interpretation. But I think that we were raised differently. Women truly run the home, at least in traditional roles, they ran the home, they ran the family, they ran all of the caretaking all of the the right brain carrying emotional stuff. And the men were out there was supposed to go out in the field and farm, you know, hunt, and bring home, the sustenance for us. And that was traditional roles kind of stay there, including in my, my parents, where dad works, Dad had the money, Mom, you know, took care of us, she had her hands full with identical twins and all. But the problem is, is the roles have shifted, but we haven't shifted. And, and money isn't just a left brain game. It's a right brain. That's why we start with the why there's an emotional element to money that women are actually far better at, than men, because men allow their egos get in the way. And they make decisions out of pride or ego out of showing off and in their bad decisions when you do that. Whereas women when they understand a couple of principles, and they tie it to caring, impact, compassion, empathy, the value of their money, the impact of their money is far, far greater.

Well, can we talk more about those two principles?

Well, a few principles. So But first things first, I think the first principle is to understand that wherever you are with your money is a behavior, okay? The habits, then the decisions and the choices are behaviors, the choice to spend the choice to say the choice to invest, and you got to look at and say, Am I making the right choices that are going to move me forward financially. So when we understand that it's a behavior, it's confronting on one hand, but it's controlling on the other because then that means all I got to do is make different decisions, changed my behaviors. And now I have the ability doesn't mean you will, but I have the ability to change my financial destiny. So the first thing is to acknowledge that it is a behavior, it's not a lack of knowledge. It's not a lack of skill. It's not by you know, I genetically can't do this is simply a behavior and a habit. And, and it's a skill, and all skills are learning.

Well, and I think that what I've always taken away from you is it's also the thought process around it. It's a thought process that you know, and the emotion that comes again with your money beliefs. And one of the things that I do in the Fired Up program with entrepreneurs, and women specifically, is I always say you know what we're going to if I were to say Excel, if I were to say financial statements, what comes up for you, and most of the voters will like, and so I'll say okay, we're going to change it right now. We actually call Call them sexy spreadsheets, because there's something very sexy that comes out of a woman, when she understands the finances when she takes power back over it, and it's not in fear that she's looking at it or like, Oh, God, what's it going to look like now, but she is empowered by that. And you know, the shoulders go back, and it's the, you know, yeah, I got this, I know my numbers. So I think that, you know, that that was something that came out of your teachings was, you know, hey, we're gonna, we're gonna change the way we look at these financial documents. And we have, and I gotta tell you, it's you've impacted, you know, 1000s of women because of just the nomenclature change. So very good, but it is the thoughts around it. And so I, you know, it was there was another one,

then it's a matter of, of the biggest obstacle I see, for a lot of folks, what women and men is that, well, when I get enough money, I can start putting away because now we think now we're equating it to the amount. But if it's a behavior, just like going to the gym, we don't go to the gym and slap on big 45 pound plates on a 45 pound bar, if we've never been in the gym and think we're going to benchpress or we're going to crush our chests, we're going to start with a chrome weights. So if I need to change my behavior, then I'm going to change my behavior with whatever I can. And if that happens to be $5 that I'm putting away, then it's $5. And we have to look at it not as the $5. But as the fact that I am creating new behaviors. And over time, I'm actually building a new identity. And, and because that $5 is going to turn into 10 to 20 to 30, because you're going to see it differently now. And why this is important is this. I got my hair cut with it by a 23 year old kid. Okay, not much here to cut. He does it. But he tells me one day that his buddy just bought a $5,000 watch. And I said, How's your buddy says 23 says you make a lot of money says no. He says, I said why do you buy the watch? It goes back to some of what we already said. I said, he said because his friends thought it was cool. I said, Cool. I said, Can I do math for you? He said, Yeah, I said, every dollar you put away in your 20s is going to be somewhere between 75 and $85. By the time you're in your 60s. So that tells me that what he did is he spent 5000 $1,000 on a watch to impress people that are probably not gonna be his friend in a couple of years. And if he looked at it, he had a choice to spend the $5,000 on a watch or see it as he's taking $400,000 At times the five away from his retirement. And everyone everybody's saying people's

great way to say it.

You know, I don't want to tell anyone ever to buy or not buy. I very rarely do that. I do it every once awhile. But what I want everyone to do is to be informed, conscious, aware and intentional and say, I get it. I spend this 5000 A could make me 400,000 By the time I'm ready to retire. But I'm okay with making this decision today. Okay, then you're done. You made the decision. But too often we think, Oh, it's just 5000 hours, I got time. But if I had a couple of those $5,000, early on, that could be the difference between millions and nothing.

Okay, now I got asked this question, if you're starting a business based on this principle that you just talked about, how much should you be willing to invest in the company, because you do realize that you're investing in the company before or you know, until you say, Hey, I've done enough, I really, I really need to stop this isn't working.

So it depends on the kind of company if it's a product based high higher overhead company versus a service based company and a service based company, we work off of something called the 50% rule. I want to to create my life of a 50% of the profits, and no much no more and the other 50 percents going back into the business. So I'm creating my life and my wealth off of 50%. Now that's conservative and people freak out. But it's what I did to create the wealth that I did to put me in the position that I had using a service business that will adjust depending on the other business. But I would start literally start with with sitting back and saying, Can I put 5% of my profits away for my future, and the rest invested into the company?

So good. Unfortunately, we're running out of time there were about 100 More questions I was gonna ask you, but at this point, everyone wants to get in touch with you. How can they find you?

They can, they can find me on on social media, Instagram eleva I have nine on my website. Mel Abraham l told them

that was Mel Abraham nine. Yes. What's the nine?

I don't I there was eight people before me I couldn't get Mel Abraham. I have no idea who the other eight are. Okay, good.

Well, that is so classic. I thought you're gonna be like numerology there's this good thing going Oh, okay. Okay, so that's one way what? What else are you offering right now?

There's a couple of things that one is if you have questions, I have a site where you can leave me questions that I'll bring on my show or answer live called go to AskMelNow.com financial questions, business questions, that kind of thing. And then the other thing is I have a financial quiz that kind of sets you where you're at. If you go to YourFinancialFreedomQuiz.com You can take the quiz, it's free, it'll rate you in a certain place. This is not about a judgment. This is about awareness. It'll get you a special report. It'll give you the next sequence of things to do depending on where you are.

Everyone we will have all of this in the show notes. Mel Abraham, you are an incredible financial advisor coach, you're I admire you so much. Thank you for being here. And for everyone else. We are so excited where we are going with relaunch in this next year, the next season. Make sure you're tuning in every single week. Next, the next one is going to be outlining where we're going and where we're going to take you everyone live now. Love now relaunch now we'll see you next week.