Embracing Hope and Healing: Overcoming Adversity and Building Resilience

Welcome everyone to the ReLaunch podcast and I am so looking forward to this conversation. One, because when you get out of where you are what you think are the shackles that is that are holding you back and you break free. It's like freedom will come to you financial freedom, relationship freedom freedom within yourself to just be Hof. So good. Today I have Dr. Anna Katona Linn. She is a passionate, how much do we love that passionate educational coach. She's a speaker and an author. Learning from her own personal experiences with childhood adversity and trauma. She is an outspoken advocate for holistic wellness, and has dedicated her career to helping entrepreneurs leadership's in schools, communities to develop safe, supportive, positive environments for all her unique set of skills in systems change, special education, school mental health, trauma informed and healing centered practices reflect her experiences with over 26 years in the field, you are going to have so many great takeaways today. Her unique endeavors include a think tank, with men serving life in prison. She wrote this great book shedding lies living beyond childhood trauma. So it's time it's time right now to build resilience, and she's going to help us with that because she has found there is so much hope in healing.

You're listening to the ReLaunch Podcast and I'm your host Hilary DeCesare best selling author, speaker and transformational coach widely recognized in the worlds of neuro psychology and business launches, which cultivated the one and only three HQ method helping midlife women. Yep, that's me to rebuild a life of purpose, possibility and inspiring business ventures. Each week, we'll be diving into the stories that brought upon the most inspirational relaunches while sharing the methods and the secrets that they learned along the way, so that you too can have not just an ordinary relaunch, but an extraordinary relaunch.

So Dr. Anne, welcome. I am so excited to be talking to you today. And there's so much to break down here. There's so much your career is just, it's incredible. So thank you for being here.

Thanks, Hillary. Thanks so much for having me. I'm excited to be here too.

Well, so when we think about you know, where you have come think tanks for people that are in prison for life, you think about the educational system, you think about your own experiences. And I always like to talk about the wise woman within us, right three HQ head, heart, higher self and that higher self, being able to tap into that you've got so much wisdom. But we also know that wisdom grows, as we get more and more experiences. Let's start with your significant relaunch that actually brought you to the point where we are today.

Yeah, I've had many of them but the

relaunch roller coaster.

Yeah, it's a marathon. I think one of the biggest ones. I started my business, really in 2018. And I was a state Project Director for Safe Schools, healthy students, and after coming off of that, working at the state, working with federal government, and just really, you know, having all of that structure and and then deciding making this the decision to start my own business was a little scary. And I've been through so many things in my past, which you know, my book I talk about all the childhood trauma and all of those things that that alone gave me that hope that I knew that I was going to be able to get through, whatever, whatever was going to come Come at me was was going to be all great. And so specifically, four years ago, almost four years ago now, my husband and I both self employed and this was 2019 So it was right before COVID And in November of two 2019 My husband who does chimney restoration he's kind of like a. He's like an engineer for chimneys and fireplaces, and he's like the guy. And so he's really good at what he does. And he felt 30 feet off of a roof. And it was just unbelievable. You know, he broke seven vertebrae, two of them were burst 16 ribs, just like chunks out of his ribs. clavicle, he had a sliced artery, his lungs collapsed. And amazingly, he did not have scratch on him on the outside. He kind of we kind of joke, we can joke now. He was like a shaken snowglobe because everything on the inside, you know, looked all pretty on the outside, literally not a scratch. So that was kind of a crazy, crazy thing.

You know, it's interesting that you're bringing this up, because I'm sure so many of us feel like the outside is not a direct reflection of what's going on. On the inside. Right. Yeah. So at this time, had you so that I can get my timeline? Right. Had you already decided to take that step from state to entrepreneurship? Or did this come after your husband's fall?

I had already I had already taken that step. So I was I was also still working with the state, because I was a state Project Director for this one year grant. And that was I was contracting with them. So even that was my business, I had a pretty good size, you know, contract that I was doing with them. So that helped. And then and literally, this happened just after that contract ended. So this big contract, good consistent income coming in this transition? And I'm like, Oh, okay.

Like, okay, really, I'm now on my own. So were you the primary caregiver of your husband?

Yes. So he was in the hospital for 34 days. And he gets out right before literally two days before Christmas. Amazing. We were able to actually bring him home. And yeah, so I was managing all of his stuff, all of his care, you know, handling people coming in our house. And also, you know, trying to run my business at the same time. And it just was, it was like, Oh, my gosh, you know, and luckily I was we had a good cushion. So I was able to really focus on him getting better than no, it's really

fascinating. Because I, you know, a lot of times when I'm working with people, I find that they have something like, like what, you know, a relaunch a significant relaunch, where you've now had a couple of significant re launches, where you went from having, you know, your full time jobs to all of a sudden you're going to be an entrepreneur, to having your husband fall off, and really, you know, 34 days in the hospital. And you're trying to figure it all out, you had a cushion, which is, you know, great, you had a little bit of a nest egg. But at the same time, you're you're trying to say like, Okay, I need to focus, but my attention is not necessarily on my intention of growth, prosperity for my business, because I still have a caretaker duty. And it's interesting, because I had a business that I was, you know, really launching at the same time, my mom moved in with us and had her cancer and she was living with us for 14 months. And I was juggling, I was juggling that. It gave me an out right get my business was like a light at the end of the tunnel at this dark, dark, dark tunnel that I knew I was going down. Did you feel a little bit of that as well? Like, how did you compartmentalize your husband and his recovery and your business and getting it off the ground? Yeah, you know,

I really my brain, my, my upstairs part of my thinking brain wasn't on track, it was only focused on healing and, and also just taking care of myself. Because, you know, again, it's, there's so many things going on, and it's stressful and, you know, trying to communicate with everybody. So there were so many things. And I knew this was at a point in my life where I actually was able to ask for help whereas I spent too many years not doing that because it's so much shame. And so just asking for help from and accepting help from people was was a huge thing. That was a How are

you able to do that? How did you change from going from? I never asked for help to Okay, I have to ask for help right now.

Well, I had done a lot of work, you know, I in my early fella that

this is like the third The third conversation around I've done a lot of work. What does that mean to you? I done a lot of work.

Well, I really focused on my own healing. I did counseling, I was doing marathons, I was vegetarian at the time. And this was all before I met my husband. I was single for like, seven years, I was like, I need to just focus on healing myself. You know, not everyone asked to do that. But it it was powerful. Like I really got a lot done in that time.

Now, did you have you said you were single for seven years? Did you have was this a second marriage?

No, the I did not. I did not get married until I was 41.

Ah, okay. Now this is starting to make sense. So you were really what caused you to take this seven year journey to really look within? What was it? Like what happened that you're like, wait a second, I need to focus on me.

Yeah, I just, I actually had a business, I had a previous business. It was a home health agency in Florida, and providing services to children and adults in the community. So I had that. And things were going well, and I still felt really empty. So I went to like the singles retreat and just, you know, had some major breakthroughs and really decided I was going to do you know, I was going to make some changes in my life. And I was kind of curious to see if I could stop drinking. I'm like, yeah, let me see. I did, and then started having panic attacks. And I was like, What the heck is

this? Where are you finding that? You were? Now that you look back on it? Were you drinking too much? Or were you kind of like, were you using it as a crutch? Why did you feel like, hey, this might be something I should look into?

Yeah, I looking back, it was more of it was calming my symptoms of, you know, later, I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, ADHD, anxiety, you know. And so looking back, I realized that that's what it was, I was using it to self medicate. And I wasn't addressing the root cause. And so that had so much shame on me, because I didn't deal with that. It really, it affected everything. You know, it prevented me from being able to see the hopeful things in my life. And to look for the positives. You know, and I did. Like, when I say this to people, people were like, I would have no idea that that's what was going on, because I was really good at covering it up.

Yeah. Are we are we aren't we both? Oh, my gosh,

you know, it's like, yeah, let's make everything look good. And so, you know, just kind of digging in, I call it the breeding, I had to go in and really pick out so good crap. And that took away that shame, you know, and that just that time period, really was a huge

doctor, and you talked about PTSD, what were you what did you feel like was the root of the PTSD.

So when I was four, had a car accident, and went through the windshield, face first. So I had full bed to do plastic surgery. And then I was in the hospital for a week by myself at four years old. Because back in the day, I mean, I'm a little older, they didn't allow families to be with you in the hospital. That's what this hospital policy was. And so, you know, further re traumatize me. And then when I got home, because society was like, oh, let's not talk about it, and it'll go away. It didn't. And so I spent my whole my entire life thinking something was wrong with me. Rather than looking at what happened to me, you know, it's that kind of like fixed mindset.

Yeah, something was wrong with you. Is that because were you going through surgeries, were you what was what was happening? Was it that you were Did you did you get cut up? Did you what was the real issue?

Yeah, I mean, I had 77 stitches on my face. So major, but that actually, they only did one surgery. And they did an amazing job. And plastic surgery, right? You couldn't tell?

Well, you look at you right now you're beautiful. And it's like, nobody would ever have an idea about that, you know, age four. But it's interesting when you said about the one week where you know, at that time, family members couldn't stay. Very similar situation that you know, when you're young like that, you don't sometimes remember all the details. And age two, I got very sick for about six months, and I was in and out of the hospital and they wouldn't let my mom stay but it was the social worker who thought my mom was causing my sickness because I would be fine in the hospital because they were given me all this. You know, I had a rare tropical disease that my mom had picked up in swimming when A lot of people were coming in and out, we lived in Hawaii. And a lot of the veterans and a lot of the, you know, military were coming in swimming, and then she would swim in it lay dormant. And then it ended up manifesting. And so they thought my mom was the root cause. So I have, you know, I had that almost like you did that abandonment, like, wait, I'm there, but nobody's around, and I don't even remember. And I had the near death experience where, you know, they potentially, you know, crossed over and state potentially because I still don't remember it specifically may never. But when you talk about your experience, can you remember when you were four? Do you remember the accident? Do you remember what happened? Can you remember any of that?

I remember details, which is how I wrote the book. Ah, literally, it's like a movie that has been, you know, in any time after that when I was triggered. So I was triggered by being in a car that I wasn't with somebody I felt safe with. And thunderstorms. Those were the two triggers. i Those are pretty big

triggers given you know, you get storms all the time. And given that you're in cars all the time.

Yeah, yeah, I am, I kind of would you know what, my older sister who's eight years older than me, she was getting her driver's license. And she had her permit. And my mom pulled over on the side of the road and was gonna let her drive, I got out of the car and was walking down the road, there is no way she is a brand new driver. That was kind of the big thing. So you know, most everybody else in my family, I felt, I felt okay with at least. But ya know, I remember all the details of that. So and every time I had a panic attack, specifically related, like I literally, you know, and I again, I talked about that in my book. And so, it is the main, what was the

main reason that you wrote the book,

I really wanted to, I wanted the book to be hopeful, you know, there are so many things, you know, COVID. And, you know, again, after my husband's accident, we, you know, there were so many things that happened, and so many miracles, and so many incredible hopeful things that, you know, people were telling us, so you guys need to write a book. And, and, and I had already had people telling me that I should write a book about my story. And so I was like, Alright, I guess this is kind of the time. And so this jumped in, and, you know, connected with lots of people when I did self publishing school and got coaching, and just, you know, biggest

takeaway, I know, you talk about building resilience, and hope is in healing. What would you say? Are your biggest takeaways, biggest lessons, that you really feel people listening today? Could they need to hear?

Yeah, I think the biggest thing is that there really is hope and healing. And that, you know, when we think about ourselves, how do we look at ourselves? Do we look at ourselves, like, I'm just choosing not to do something, you know, I can't do that, because I'm choosing not to do it, or do we look at it as well, I don't really have the skills, and I don't maybe have the support, if I look at that first piece that puts a lot on me. And that really kind of creates a lot of shame. Whereas if I look at it as, alright, I don't have the skills to cope, and I don't have the support, then I can do something about that. And so that's kind of where the hope comes in. And that's really that growth mindset, where if we really, you know, think about people differently, it's, it's, we always want to look for the positive even, I'm not saying we ignore the negative things that happen, we have to deal with that. It's just, we have to deal with that and say, What are we going to do about it? You know, we can't just act like things are happening to us. And I know you talk about this so much. So you know, it's interesting

with the three h q, you know, the head the heart, the higher self and a lot of times your head wants it, you got your steps you got your processes, but your heart doesn't believe it. Yeah. And then what happens success doesn't happen and what what do we find is the root like you can't get into a three HQ alignment, head hard, hire yourself, if your head is not in the game, or if your heart isn't, and it's saying ah, like, you know, that's all great. Those Those really lofty goals are really super bad. No way can you do it, and we do and then how do you how do you then tap into your Higher Self, the best version of you and have the faith at that level to be able to do it. It's, I'm giving everyone like, you know, a rite of passage here that it's okay. Because it happens to so many of us that we wonder, why can't we reach the success that we're going for? Why do we you keep getting pulled back. And I love when you talk about hope, in in the healing of going back and saying, You know what, it's this, there's roots, and you're a doctor, and you have such wisdom around trauma, and how it manifests later in your life. As you said, I had to finally do you know, deal with this for seven years? Was there a reason that you became a doctor? Was that to help yourself? Or? Yeah,

absolutely. I actually got into special education and became a behavior analyst, because I was trying to figure myself out. I didn't necessarily know it at the time, though, you know, and I think those of us who have been through stuff, want to help others not go through it. You know, that's another reason why I wrote the book is, you know, there are too many people out there suffering, and I've seen so many of them. And so it's like, Alright, let me get this out there to give some people hope. And then we can kind of go to the next level, you know, and so, yeah, it's having that hope is such a key key piece.

You know, it really is and I agree with you, there's, you know, I my book relaunch spark your heart to ignite your life. And I often joke about it, but you know, being the queen of relaunches, I finally, the this last month has been brutal. For our family, just it's been an onslaught with my own, you know, tumor that ended up being benign, thank goodness, but just a lot of other things. And I keep, I keep looking up at you know, and I, and I'm a God loving woman, but I keep looking up and saying God, and not with the real launches. I've covered a gauntlet of them, really, I'm good, I'm good, I got enough content to help people to, you know, allow them to, you know, exactly. So we can start now, if you're listening out there, you know, universe helped me out here. But for you, your book came out when?

Earlier in March of this year, so just

recently, and, you know, help us understand, are you putting together a course around it? Are you, you know, what's the next step for you in your entrepreneurial journey?

Yeah, so I, you know, I help a lot of schools and the communities, you know, and so that includes families, and youth. So a big piece of my program is engaging them. And I'm also in the process of, because of the book, I've had so many people reaching out to me saying, you know, oh, my gosh, we like they want more. And so I'm going to be doing a book study. And using that kind of as a platform to even to develop a program, and to really walk any adult who's had kind of trauma through their life, and it's not a therapy, it's just looking at, you know, how can you shift your mindset and using kind of more of those positive psychology aspects to be able to look at? What can I do? And how can I overcome without it being so scary? And you know, talk

about that the positive psychology? What are the what would be an exercise that people could that are listening right now that they could actually go through it?

You know, one of the first things I think of is just even looking at your strengths. What are your strengths and weaknesses? We don't often look at that. And how can we use our strengths to build on our not necessarily, I don't even like to use the word weaknesses. It's what are my areas for growth? Because, you know, it's, again, I think we can get pulled down by a weakness. And so, you know, that's one example. You know, coming up with

a good, that's a good one, because we have a retreat that's happening next week. And it's so fabulous, because we already have a waitlist for next year. Which is, which is just so great. But one of the things that I am pulling back in and I do it every year is the idea that, you know, we have to get ourselves into a habit of positive thinking. For so many of us. It's around the negative it's around the negative relaunches can. There's so many positive relaunches too. Yeah. So shifting your mind set to be able to go there to recognize those right? That I love this about myself and people who are like, I don't know, I got, you know, a few, but I got sure got a laundry list of things I don't like about myself,

right? And pay so much attention to those, you know, the ones

that stand out, right? Yeah. That is that's so good. Can you give us? Can you give us one more?

Yeah, it's, you know, again, kind of that reframing. So rather than thinking about that, I'm just choosing not to do something or somebody else is choosing not to do something. It's like, let's look, do they actually even have the skills? Do they have the support? You know, I'm not even looking at their motivation, I'm just looking at that piece. And when we look at that, that's where we can provide help, or just help them to set goals that are going to be more attainable, you know, whereas if they're looking at, they're just, you know, it's willpower? Why aren't you just, you know, why don't you just have willpower, and it's like, okay, let's look at these other factors, because those are some things that we can change. And there's, we all have the outward behaviors. And these are kind of some of those inward behaviors that we don't always pay attention to. So it's helping to take those internal behaviors that we have our self talk, you know, anything that's going on in our bodies, and making them more having an awareness of them so that then we can do something about them rather than

absolutely, once you once you can label it, once you have the awareness that, hey, it's there, then you can help yourself that is so great. So how can people? How can people get in touch with you and find out more and get your book? Yeah,

so my website is www.katonalinnconsulting.com. And I'm really even in the process of adding things to it. And so you can sign up to be on my email list. And really, we're going to be launching early June, for this for the book study and, and also kind of a resilience coaching program. So keep an eye out and sign up for my email list. And I'm also on Facebook, and Twitter and Instagram. You can follow me on those as well.

Well, Dr. Anne, it's been a pleasure having you on I am so excited for your future. And there is this spreading your wings and kind of jumping off the cliff when you launch that book. So kudos to you for making it happen. And so really great for everyone that's listening. If this is something that's really resonated with you, these types of conversations around relaunches around impact around inspiration, make sure that you click on the link that says subscribe so that you are informed when our next episode is coming out. And again, go check out Dr. Anne's website there in the show notes all of the different places and a link to get her book. So we look forward to seeing you next week. And for now, live now. Love now relaunch now and get inspired by three HQ and how it can impact your life and your business. Take care everyone we'll be back next week.