The Secret to Breaking Free From Your Comfort Zone

I feel like this is actually one of the biggest pieces of leaving your comfort zone is you have to be willing to let everyone else be disappointed and know that their disappointment actually has nothing to do with you. Their disappointment is a reflection of their own fears and their own limitations, of how they live their lives, right, their own restrictions. Someone judges me for changing my name. It's because they would never do something so bold, so sacredly selfish, right? Because they make decisions for other people, or they follow the rules, or they live by the script. Hello, my loves. Welcome to season three of the new truth podcast. Episode Three. I am so happy that you're here with me and excited to dive into this really important topic today, the secret to breaking free from your comfort zone. You know, I don't know who named the comfort zone, the comfort zone. But have you ever noticed that the comfort zone is actually not comfortable? We're like, Oh, I'm going to stay over here in my comfort zone. And then we feel depressed and anxious and miserable and numb and disconnected. And you know, while on some level, it might seem comfortable because it's familiar, it's probably more likely the familiar zone than the comfort zone, but we stay there because it's familiar, right? And really moving towards the things that we desire takes walking into the unknown, the willingness to let go of that which we've outgrown, takes walking into the unknown, and that is the thing that I believe is the scariest for most people, is just not knowing right? Because we've been taught that safety is in us controlling situations, but actually you have no control. There's this amazing life that is meant for you to experience, and we miss it when we're trying to control where our life is going. So I feel like this episode is so relevant, especially a couple weeks into season three of the new truth podcast, and Catherine having the courage to leave, she did exactly this right. We had spent five years building the new truth podcast, five years devoting every single week hours to sharing our wisdom and our truth on this podcast with you, and it became a part of her identity. So to actually come to the conclusion, to let herself, you know, I think so often women don't even let themselves consider that they could leave a job or a successful podcast or a relationship that maybe looks really good on paper. I remember having that challenge of even allowing myself permission to consider leaving a really good relationship, and we often don't even let ourselves consider it right, let alone actually face it and listen to that feeling inside, that nudge that never goes away. So if you're sitting in a relationship that you know is complete, that you know is past this expiry date, or a job you know that you know is so out of alignment for you, and you've done everything you can to bring your fullest self to it. You've done everything you can to own you know, whatever patterns might have been showing up, and it still doesn't feel aligned. This episode is for you, because we get so trapped in this place of familiarity, and it feels safe to us on some level, but actually that place of familiarity is the thing that's harming you. It's actually the thing that's holding you back from meeting parts of yourself that have been repressed since you were a kid? Right? There's so many parts of you, so many beautiful, amazing parts of you that have been repressed. And if you're not willing to walk through a new door, right, if you're not willing to close an old door that no longer fits, then you're going to miss those parts of yourself that are waiting for you. You know that sometimes the initiation is in walking away from the perfect on paper relationship, even when everyone around you is saying, What are you doing? Why are you walking away from that? It's so good. Or Why would you leave a relationship now you're 35 you should be, you know, you're, you're, it's time to settle down like you can't walk away from a relationship right now, to be the one who goes against the grain. Or, why would you move to a foreign country? That's crazy, you know? That's so weird. Are you going to live there? How are you going to take care of yourself, like when, when you change, when you start to go through change in your life, and you start to walk through those courageous doors, close old doors, open new ones. People in your life are going to freak out. That is absolutely inevitable, and part of the process, they will freak out, and your job is just to like notice. Let them have their freak out, let them have their experience, and don't let that dictate your choices. So my intention with the season three is for you to dream bigger. It's for you to expand, not just your your love life, right? Obviously, a lot of the new truth podcast has been about expanding our ability to receive love in a bigger way and to have healthier relationships. And absolutely that we're going to expand, for sure. And my desire for you is that you start to let yourself consider expanding every facet of your life and of yourself and of your heart, and of everything that you're doing in your life, because life is here to be lived. Right? You are not put on planet Earth to build a comfort zone to feel really safe and protected in a small, little corner, and, you know, do the same thing every day and feel miserable and doubt it and be frustrated with it and be questioning everything but stay and creating your own misery like that. That's not why you're here, right? Humans get caught up in that because we have a saboteur. We have patterns, we have stories, we have beliefs. We have all this stuff we're wading through. Animals don't have all that crap, right? They're just in the present moment, living their best lives. But humans, we are so bogged down with all of the limited stories of who we think we are and what we believe is possible, based on our past, based on the people around us, based on the culture around us, based on how we were raised, who we modeled after as little ones, right? So so much. That's why, in my work, you name your saboteur, you name that conditioned version of yourself that you became when you were young. Because that's not you. You know this part of you that's playing life safe, that's afraid to take chances, that's afraid to take risks, that's afraid to do the courageous thing that you've always wanted to do and you've known in your heart, in your soul, but your saboteur won't let you right? That's not you. That's the conditioning, that's the program of who you've been taught to be, and here with at the new truth podcast, every week, you get to be reminded of who you really are and reminded of what's possible. So my intention is that you keep expanding yourself and challenging yourself and experiencing you know, things that you desire or have curiosity about that you never could have imagined would really happen, and you walking through that door so courageously and walking away from things that are no longer in alignment. And so, yeah, that's what we're going to talk about today. But in order to become the woman that you were born to be in order to become the heroine of your own story, the heroine of your own life, the leading lady, the main character, who has a starring amazing role in an amazing movie, in order to become her, you have to be willing to let go of a lot of parts of your old life. And that is just a straight up truth, that might feel scary, and that's okay. It's okay to feel scared. Of course, every time you go somewhere new, a young part of you will feel scared because of the unknown, and that's okay. And all you have to do is put your hands on your heart and say, I've got you. I know you're afraid. I love you. I have got you. And you walk through the door anyways, right? Somebody has to take charge here, and in my work, it's the heroine, right? Your heroine takes charge. The Sovereign woman inside of you starts to take charge, instead of letting that fearful little girl make all your decisions. So you have to be willing to let go of what is no longer serving you in order to make this space for what is to come and people, especially if you are someone who does play it really safe,

my invitation to you is that it's going to take practice to step outside of your comfort zone. So start to practice it every single day, because if you don't make it a daily practice, you're gonna end up being one of those people who only changes when life rips the thing away from you, right your house burns down. Lots of people experience that this year, or your relationship ruptures, and your partner just. Leaves you high and dry and you go through massive heartbreak. That becomes a catalyst. Life will bring us catalysts, for sure, that's inevitable. That's going to happen a job, your company goes out of business and you lose your job, right? That is inevitable, that life is going to bring us unexpected challenges that blind sign us on an idle Tuesday. That's a line from a song. But that's going to happen, right? And often that does redirect us. But my hope for you is that you can actually start to build the practice into your daily life of expanding your comfort zone and growing into getting so comfortable with being uncomfortable. That's the key, right? Every single day, doing something that feels uncomfortable, that feels edgy, right? Let's say you've been meaning to have a conversation with a friend and share the impact of something she said that you never shared. Do it today. Call your friend. Hey. This is from a long time ago, but it's still on my heart, and I want to share when we had this conversation that day you shared this. This was my memory of what you shared, and I imagine this wasn't your intention, but here's how it felt in my heart, and I wanted to clean it up with you, right? Have that brave conversation today, every single day practice doing things. Go to that dance class, that sexy dance class, where women are super confident and they're flipping their hair and they're twerking and they're bending over, and you watch them, and you're like, Oh, I could never do that. But you're like, slightly curious. Go to that dance class and let yourself be silly and let yourself be new, right? Instead of being a classic adult saboteur, that's like, Oh, I'm not good at that, so I'm not going to do it right? That's staying in the comfort zone, aka the familiar zone. You have to practice getting outside of the zone of comfort. Let's say you think you're a terrible singer. Hire an opera coach, hire a singing coach and learn how to sing right rewrite that story. You get to rewrite your narratives. But if you don't practice every single day, it's going to be so much harder when those opportunities come along that are big and juicy and so aligned for you to say yes, or when the no is so big and strong, it's going to be harder to say no if you are not practiced in expanding your comfort zone, right? It's a daily practice. Things don't change, because people are so used to just doing that thing that feels safe, but when you get honest with yourself? Do you actually feel safe when you're staying home, not doing anything, when you're watching Netflix every single day and scrolling on your phone and your life is just the same, and it feels mundane and it feels or it feels empty, or it feels, you know, colorless, right? Is that actually feel safe? Does that actually feel comfortable? I doubt it.

But when you can be in relationship with everything that you feel right? Uncomfortability is just a feeling. I feel uncomfortable right. Now, interesting. Okay, I'm going to take a breath. I'm going to wiggle my shoulders. Sit a little taller. Breathe into the discomfort, breathe into the awkwardness. Breathe into the weird feeling. Breathe into the embarrassment, right? No matter what you're doing, breathe into it. Breathe so I'll come back to that dance class example. I sucked. I went to this dance class. I'm sure I've talked about this many times before, but it was called army of SAS. I had to wear high heels and like fishnet stockings. And all the women were young. I was in my late 30s. All the women were in their early 20s. They were all dancers. It was a beginner class, but they were all dancers. They danced their whole lives. I danced a tiny bit when I was a kid, when I was really young, ballet, but it had been years, and so I show up so awkward, feels so weird in my body, and I'm looking around at these girls, and of course, Regina, my saboteurs, got stories. She's like, Oh, you don't belong here. Look at you. You're way older than everyone. They're really good dancers. You suck. You should just walk out the door right now, right? But I no longer subscribe to Regina, aka my saboteur. You should name yours if you haven't already. There is a master class coming up that's not going to be till the summer, but you can do my mini course if you want to learn more about your saboteur. It is in my Instagram on the unscripted woman website. Little sidebar caveat, but naming your saboteur is so helpful, right? Because you see that that critical voice in my head that is so fearful, it's not me that's the conditioned woman that lives in the penthouse suite of my apartment building. It's. She's very she used to be very loud. Now she's really quiet. But when she arises, I see her, I hear her, but she's not in charge of making decisions. So when she made those comments in dance class, I didn't walk out the door. I stayed and I felt those feelings, and I embraced them, and internally, I was like, All right, girl, let's be awkward. Let's own it. Let's go big with it. Let's be shitty, let's be embarrassed, let's fucking rock sucking at dancing today, and that's what I did. And guess what? It was so fun. The first class was so fun. I was tripping all over myself. I couldn't remember, barely anything. I was like, flustered and whatever, but I was laughing and I was playing and I was letting myself be bad and be goofy and be silly, right? The saboteur, right? When you are living your life from your saboteur, it's a performance. Your life is a performance, and dance class is a great example of that, right? Everyone's concerned what everyone else thinks. Meanwhile, nobody's even looking at you. They're looking at themselves in the mirror. They're videotaping themselves in the modern world. They're not looking at you. So your practice is to remember that, oh, my life is not a performance. That's the saboteur life. My life is about my own inner experience, and I'm here doing this brave thing, trying dancing in high heels, in fishnet stockings, because a little tiny part of me is curious, like, could I ever do that? And my saboteur thinks I couldn't, so I'm kind of up for proving her wrong, right? That's how to get outside of your comfort zone prove your saboteur wrong over and over and over and over again. And so I owned it and felt those feelings and hammed it up even. And then it became a fun, joyful thing. And sure enough, week after week, I showed up my saboteur every single week was like, Kate, it's winter, it's raining, it's dark out. You had a long day. Don't go every week. She had a story every week Vancouver. It rains a lot in the winter. This was back when I was in Vancouver. And I said, Thank you, Regina, for your contribution. I'm gonna go anyways, and we'll see how we feel after and then we can talk. Of course, every single week I'd go, I'd have the time of my life, I was making all these 21 year old best friends, having so much fun. We got to show day. It was like one of the best days ever, and it was such a heart opening, expansive experience, where I grew so much, and now I ended up doing three seasons of that, until I moved to Greece, and now I'm so much more comfortable in my body than ever before, and I was already pretty comfortable in my day to day life, but it took it to a whole new level, and I got good at the dancing for me, right? Not in comparison to anyone else, because the race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself. They're quoting the Baz Luhrmann song, again, the sunscreen song, if you want to look it up, the race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself. I am at dance class and I am dancing on stage, and it's for me. You know, it's not about anyone else. It's for me. Your life is for you. It's not a performance. Even if you're performing on stage, it's still for you. So that's an example of how to walk through that door of uncomfortability. Ham it up, expect yourself to feel uncomfortable. Every woman that's ever come to the immersion, maybe not everyone. I think there have been a few who've been relaxed before, but usually, like, right before we go, everyone's saboteurs kick up, and they're like, oh my god, like, I'm so afraid, and it's as if they're going to jail. And then they get to the end of the immersion. This is my live experience in Greece that's coming up next month. They get to the end of the immersion, and they're like, Oh my god. That was the most beautiful, magical week of my life. How was I so afraid? The reason you're so afraid to step outside your comfort zone, my loves is because when you were little, you were always stepping outside your comfort zone, and you were getting in trouble for it, and you were getting shut down from it, and you were getting told no, and you were getting sent to your room, and you're getting forced to go against your truth instead of with it, right? So your saboteur, your survival patterns, your protective mechanisms, believe that it is actually life threatening danger on the other side of your comfort zone, right? If you walk outside that door and you go camping with those lions in Africa, you're gonna die. That's what my saboteur was telling me. And I was like, You know what? I know a lot of people who go camping in Africa on reserves, on the national reserves, and and they make it through, and nobody, nobody's tent got clawed by a lion. And I. I'm going to take that evidence, and I'm going to follow my heart. I'm going to go anyways. And I know you're afraid. I put my hands on my heart. I know you're afraid, but I'm going to go anyways. I went camping on a national reserve two weeks ago, and it was one of the greatest times of my life. It was so much fun. It was so profound. We were staying on a river, watching elephants cross the river while we sat having coffee in the morning. It was absolutely extraordinary experience, and I'm so happy that I didn't let my fear stop me, right? So how many times a day, a week, a month, a year, do you let your fear stop you? Do you believe the fear? You know the saying false evidence appearing real, fear is not real, but we give it so much power, and in the world we live in, we're fed fear based messages every day. If you turn on social media, if you turn on the media, you will be brainwashed with fear based messages so that you keep a dysregulated nervous system and you stay afraid and you do not make bold, brave choices. That is the system that you are swimming in, that is the water you were swimming in. So it takes so much courage and connection and tuning out the external world to listen to those nudges inside when it's time to leave the relationship or it's time to leave that job that's sucking the life out of you, that's so unnatural, where you're going every day and working insane hours and hurting yourself and like when your body knows when it's time to let go. And we did this the episode on letting go with Catherine at the end of February. So definitely go back and listen to that if you haven't already, but your body will indicate when it's time to close a door. And your practice is to get comfortable just feeling right. If you're going to walk away from a job or a relationship or something that's been significant in your life, you're going to feel all sorts of things most likely, and the more that you can be in relationship with your feelings, and you can just let yourself feel and let the feelings wash over you. They will cleanse you, and then they will become something else. Now you have the courage to open the new door, right? And you'll feel some fear, and you'll feel some nervousness, and you'll walk through that door anyways, knowing, Oh, these are just feelings. They're not dictating what's coming. They're just feelings. I'm gonna open this door and I'm gonna walk through it because I know that there's so much more of me and this life I'm meant to experience that's on the other side of that door. I think of I sit here, I'm recording this episode from Kenya. I've been here for five weeks again and and I'm going to be here for another almost month,

and I'm thinking about how different my life is right now. I live two thirds of the year in Greece this year, 1/3 of the year in Kenya, not intentionally, but just kind of happened. I'm working on my book, a book like I never thought I was going to write a book. I'm talking to my podcast, and never thought I'd have a podcast. I have a different name than I was born with. Andrea. Kathleen Irwin is my name. Kate Harlow is my name. Now I have a life that's unscripted. Every time I meet people in Kenya at olopkey farm or where or when we're out on adventures, they're like, Wow, your life is so cool. You're so lucky. And every time I hear that we're lucky, I'm like, you know, I don't actually think that's true. I'm not lucky. I believe that we all have a divine path that's meant for us, and we all have a controlled, scripted life, and most people don't know what they don't know, and they just go for the controlled, scripted life till something ruptures, smacks them in the face, and then they have an awakening and start to get more honest with themselves, right? That's how most people live their lives. And the other path is the divinely led path, the life that is divinely aligned with your soul. It's like the perfect puzzle piece, your puzzle of your life only fits together when you're following your heart. You miss that path if you're not following your heart, right? And and I say this because I think of like how many initiations every time we walk through our the zone of discomfort, right every time we're willing to open that door and be like I feel so fucking awkward right now. I feel uncomfortable, I feel nervous, I feel scared, taking a breath, feeling my feet, feeling it all, moving the energy, dancing it, singing it, writing it, moving the energy. And then I'm gonna open the door anyways and be brave and walk through that door, because I can do hard things, that's Glenn and Doyle. I can do hard things, and I can walk through that door and experience whatever's on the other side of it with no expectations. If you walk through the door with expectations, you're hooped, right? So you gotta have no expectations. Walk through the door and see what's on. The Other Side. See what the unknown is all about. Get to know that part of your soul over there, that is the life that you're meant to express. And then you get to keep becoming and becoming and becoming more and more and more and more and more of who you're meant to be. So I think of all of and every time we do, it's an initiation, right into more of ourselves every time. So even tiny little things, even if, like getting up and meditating is uncomfortable for you do it, even if you're like, Well, I'm not good at it, great. Then just own that. Ham it up and do it. We're so used to just taking ourselves out, right? We take ourselves out so easily and constantly, and then we wonder why we're sad, and we go to the doctor and we're like, I don't feel good. Can I have a pill? I feel depressed? It's like you're depressed because you're repressing your feelings, you're repressing your truths, you're repressing your desires, you're repressing the life that's meant for you. So of course, you feel depressed or anxious or numb, right? Of course, when women work with me, I've had so many women work with me who are on medication when they start, and two months later they're off it because they're actually just honest with themselves and now living a life that's aligned, and then all of a sudden they're like, Oh my gosh. Actually, my set point is happy, wow. I feel really peaceful and grounded most of the time. Oh my gosh. I feel my heart feels so full. I feel so good. And they're not feeling good because they're taking something to feel good. They're feeling good because they got honest with themselves, and they got out of their comfort zone, and they made brave decisions over and over and over and over again. Now they feel good, right? So my whole life in order to create the life that I have now, and it's gonna only keep expanding, right? But the life that I have now that I sit inside of or outside, mostly in Kenya, I sit here and I'm like, I'm not lucky, you guys, I created this. Every time someone tells me, I'm lucky. I'm like, actually, that's not true. I created this life, and I didn't create it myself. I co created it with the universe, right? With the divine, with my guides, with the life that was meant for me to experience. And there's a life that's meant for you to experience, and it's going to be the most satiating thing in the world to your soul, right? It's not going to look like mine, but it's going to be the most satiating thing in the world to your soul. And then you get to sit back and every day feel like content and peaceful and grounded and grateful and appreciative of this beautiful life that you co created, and the CO is in you are the one who has to make those choices. The universe can't do it for you, right? It's going to send you all the I could have had the universe sent me 10 million people, not 10,000,000k I'm going to be honest with the with the number like maybe 1010, people that told me you need to start a podcast, I could have ignored that. I could have been like, no, no, no, like I ignored tick tock. My my former boyfriend told me 4 million times way before tick tock was big, that I needed to get on tick tock. But I don't believe it was for me, because I ignore I'm still ignoring it like, No, thanks. I don't want another app. I don't care. No, that's a no. But the podcast that was a 10 different people told me, over the span of a few months, five women in one night. And I was like, Okay, I hear you. Thank you for the message. Gonna do a podcast. Don't want to do it alone. Who should I do it with? And then Catherine's name popped in and we took one step at a time, and look where we are now, right? That was divinely guided. So your life is a co creation. The universe is going to send you all the messages, right? All the opportunities when you're in alignment, when you're caring for yourself and loving yourself and grounded and present, you will hear the messages. You will get the nudges internally, and your job is to listen to them, and if you don't, then you're going to miss those opportunities, right? So I had to be initiated over and over and over again. And it does get easier, because you have so much evidence that you can trust life, and you can trust those nudges internally, because your life just gets better and better and better and better. So the more you do it, the easier it is. Right? It people say, like, oh, you know this, this, do the work, and it's a path for life. It is your path for life. But it gets way easier. It's not work. Actually. It's the opposite. Working is your saboteur. Working is going against what you really want and lying to yourself working is all the women have walked down the aisle and got married when their gut was screaming no and that they didn't listen to their bodies, and then they're inside of this marriage feeling so small and so trapped and not even liking the person they're married to. But they did it because of all the scripted reasons. Right? That's an option. Depression, that's work, that's exhausting, that's depressing, that's in a life full of anxiety. The other side is play. It's pleasure, it's truth, it's heart, it's expansion, right? It's divine, it's easeful. Doesn't mean it's always easy because of those moments where ruptures happen and unexpected things occur. And then, of course, those moments are really challenging, but when you know how to be in relationship with everything that you feel and with yourself, those challenges aren't that big a deal. I mean, even if they're a huge deal, they change you, they grow you, they evolve you, and that's what's possible for you. So I think of maybe the biggest initiation, no, I don't know if it's the biggest in my whole life, but the first biggest initiation that I had was when it it was presented to me the the possibility of changing my name when I was 25 years old, and at the time, I remember being like that is crazy. I can't change my name. Everyone will judge me. That was my first thought. Other people will judge me, right? So of all the things that you desire in your life, notice if the first resisted resistant thought is about how other people will perceive you. Well, that means the performative life is in charge and not your soul, right? So that was my first thought. Thank God I had an amazing boyfriend at the time. We were brand new relationship. I don't even know if we were together yet. We might have even just been friends. This is Charlie, my five year partner, in my 20s, but he said to me, like, we because I was like, No, I can't change my name. People judge me. I don't want, like, my whole mo in life was to be liked by everyone. So, like, I couldn't do something weird like that, because I wouldn't be liked by everyone. And Charlie was like, Are you serious? Right now? He's like, What if you live to be 100 years old? You're gonna go by a name you hate for another 75 years, just because you don't want to be judged by other people. And I was like, Damn Mic drop. That was a really good point,

and that opened me, right? But he was a messenger, So Charlie, in that moment, was a messenger, and we have many messengers, and your practice is to notice how your body reacts to the messengers. So he was the messenger from the universe. Because I was meant to change my name. I was meant to become Kate Harlow and become the heroine of my own story, rename myself as the heroine of leading lady of my story, so then I could birth my work about helping women become the heroine of their story. I didn't know that at the time. I knew none of it right, but it was so relevant to where it was going. The saboteur wants to be like, but where am I going? What's the point? It's like, you don't know and you're never going to know, and that's the best thing. The unknown is so beautiful, and if you know in advance what it looks like, it's not going to be as beautiful. So you get to rest and not knowing, right? So that that message from Charlie allowed me to sit with myself and be like, oh, oh my gosh, yeah, that's so true. And I my whole body relaxed, and I was like, he said, Do you want to play with it? Do you want me to call you like, how? What's your middle name? Kathleen. Okay. What about Kathleen? Nope, that didn't feel right, even though my grandfather, my whole life, called me Kathleen. No one knew why, but he saw my soul. But he started with he was like, Okay, what about Kate? Nope. Too serious. I was 25 I was still very girly, and he's like, What about Katie? And I'm like, Oh, I love the name Katie. So he just started calling me Katie, and we were just doing it in our in our little connection. We saw each other a lot. I think it was, yeah, early days of dating. So he's like, Katie, Katie. And it just opened my heart, like the name opened my heart. And I was like, Oh, this feels really good. I think this is true. So I gave myself two weeks, and then I sent an email to everyone I know. I called my parents first was like, I'm changing my name, here's why. And my mom and dad were so supportive, and because I was certain, and then I sent an email to everyone I knew and told all my friends. I lost a ton of friends, right? Your new self is going to cost you your old life, but those friends were not aligned. And it's not like we had big blowouts or anything. It was just like people who I was so close to at that time didn't get it. They thought it was weird. They judged me, and they were so used to me doing what everyone else was doing and pleasing everyone. So when I when I was like, No, I'm doing this no matter even if you're judging me, I'm still doing it because I hate my name, and this is my life, and I'm going to make this decision for myself. And so many friends fell away and I it was uncomfortable. Yes, it was uncomfortable, and I felt embarrassed and I felt judged. Changed, and I felt shame, and I felt all this stuff, but my truth outweighed all of it. I was like, but I don't care, I'm gonna feel all of this stuff, because me going by a name that feels right for me is so much more important than me pleasing everyone else. Right? So I feel like this is actually one of the biggest pieces of leaving your comfort zone, is you have to be willing to let everyone else be disappointed and know that their disappointment actually has nothing to do with you. Their disappointment is a reflection of their own fears and their own limitations of how they live their lives, right? Their own restrictions. Someone judges me for changing my name. It's because they would never do something so bold, so so so sacredly selfish, right? Because they make decisions for other people, or they follow the rules, or they live by the script, but as an unscripted woman, which I am now initiating all of you into being, because this is Kate Harlow, season three of the new truth podcast. This is the unscripted woman you are learning here how to untether from who you've been taught to be because that's not you and that's hurting you. Being that limited, small, safe version of yourself is sucking the life out of you and hurting you. You are here to be so much more than you could ever fathom. There is so much here for you to experience my love, and it takes a lot of courage to say yes to ourselves and our truth, and to walk in the opposite direction of everyone else, and people are going to freak out and they're going to judge you, and your practice is to let them freak out and let them judge you, and to keep walking and to keep staying, feeling your own feet, feeling your own path, feeling your own life, and remembering that every single one of them, whether it's your mother or your sister or your best friend or anyone else, your partner or husband, every single one of them has their own life. They got their own they can choose to do with it what they want. They can get tattoos all over their whole body and face if they want. They can change their name 14 times they can. They can move to another planet. They can do whatever they want. That's theirs. That's their life, to live or to not live, to be scripted or to not be scripted, but your life is yours, and you are the only one who can make those decisions in that co creative process with life, right? You're the only one who can listen to those nudges and not lie to yourself anymore, but have the courage to open that door that feels so scary, and to just feel the discomfort and to feel the awkwardness and to feel the weirdness and to walk through the door anyways, and to see how magical it is on the other side, and all of the new parts of you you get to grow into when we take risks, that's when we get To meet who we really are. So it's a practice like everything every single day, practice breaking free from your comfort zone. Get uncomfortable every day. Do something that you're embarrassed of or that feels weird, go to improv class, join band, join a band, or like, take a music take up a musical instrument, learn a language, move to a new country. Do you know how many countries Kenya even just got a digital nomad visa, which feels like kind of an invitation from the universe, because Greece got a digital nomad visa right before I moved there. It happened like, I think, two months before I moved there. I didn't even know when I moved there, so now Kenya has one. So I might, I don't know. I feel, I'm feeling a bit of a bit of the call, but it's like so many countries have a digital nomad visa. So if you have an online business, or you work for a company online, and like you're you're curious, go experience living in another country, grow, try something new. Be bold. Join a woman's group. If you're longing for sisterhood. Come to the immersion. This one's sold out. It's happening in a month, but there'll be another one coming up soon. So come to the immersion. Work with me, work with a mentor. Learn how to get outside of your comfort zone so that you can expand your life in all the ways it's meant to expand for you. So that's my invitations to you, my love dream big. We only create an amazing life when we have the courage to say, to close those old doors that are no longer fitting and to open the new ones that feel completely unknown and scary. I promise you, the fear is actually just in the decision making process and in your mind, once you open the door and walk through it, you'll be like, wait, what? What was I afraid of? We were laughing at breakfast this morning about my fear of staying in the artist in residence tent at OLAP pangi farm, which is luxury. It's like on a platform with a roof over top of it, I have a king size bed and a lamp and electricity and a living room. Like, I was scared of that. What a joke, you know. And Elizabeth and I were just talking about, like, Oh, how sweet. Like, my past self that was, like, that was only four months ago. Didn't know, and she was scared, because it was new. We're gonna always be afraid of what's new. And your job is just like when you feel fear. Know it's a younger part of you. Put your hands on your heart, say, I love you. Of course you feel afraid. You're new, and you get to be new. And you can be new at dance class for the first three semesters, you can still be new. Even five years in, you can still be new, right? You get to be new and you get to be awkward and you get to be weird, and you get to be a goofy and you get to be uncomfortable, and it's just a feeling, and it's no big deal. So don't take the bait. Don't believe the fear, no big deal. Be in relationships with your feelings, they will wash through you and your life is just going to get juicier and juicier and better and better. So that's my invitation to you. If you enjoyed this episode, please, of course, share it with every woman you know who needs to hear this message, and would love five star reviews would be so so great on Spotify or iTunes or Apple or wherever you're listening to this podcast from and I always love to hear from you, so let me know how it landed. Let me know if you have any future episodes you'd like me to do, or people you'd like me to interview. And I love you, and I'll see you next week.