You’re Not Smart Enough…To Be Successful Without This One Thing

Welcome to The Missing Secret Podcast. I'm Kelly Hatfield,

Hey and I'm John Mitchell. So today's topic is, you're not smart enough to be successful without personal growth. Kelly, what do you think about that? Do you agree with that?

I agree with that wholeheartedly.

You know, I tell you, I think this is a lesson for for our audience, about personal growth, because your life experience may be sites that, yeah, it's a good idea, but it's not that big a deal. And, you know, I want to challenge your thinking, and I want, I want you to gain from my experience and Kelly's experience on personal growth and and what that really means and how to do it. And so maybe the way I'll explain it is, is to recap briefly my experience with personal growth. And you know, back when I was 50, and I'm looking at why I'm not more successful, one of the things I realized was that I felt like I was too busy for personal growth in my 30s and 40s. I mean, how unenlightened is that? But that's life, you know, we all get we're busy, we're all busy, and we may not put a premium on personal growth. And you know, it's interesting with my class at the University of Texas, again, they're 20 year olds, and they all feel like they're not enough, not good enough. And so I've been explained to them that they are good enough, and how we overcome that. But you know, the nuance to that is, no, you're not good enough unless you have the wisdom of experts flowing into your head on a continual basis. That's the thing I had to wrap my head around when I was 50. Was, you know, I was making 200 grand a year because that was my level of competence. And then once I saw that, that that personal growth was a problem, and I created the system around it, you know, so I could have personal growth where I had the wisdom of experts in marketing and employee empowerment and organization, and, you know, all the things that an entrepreneur needs. And I saw the radical change, the 25x in my income was happening partly from the methodology, but partly from the methodology was making me grow. It was part of my my visualization. You know, so often, I remember my team would come and go, Where are you getting these ideas? It's a new idea a week, and it's always amazed at how few of the ideas actually came from me. You know, they were from other people, but life changing for me, and I know you grew up with the who you are is personal growth? Would you just talk about that and and maybe share your most recent experience?

Yeah, yeah. I've got so many comments on this. I think, you know, my personal experience with personal growth was, you know, I was really lucky that I had, you know, my one of my mentors early on was my dad, who's been a lifelong learner, you know, who introduced me to, you know, Think and Grow Rich, and, you know, to the richest man in Babylon and some of the, you know, and just reading and the love of learning and and this idea of getting a little bit better every day. And so I was super lucky for that to kind of be part of the fabric of who I became growing up. And, you know. And although that people pleasing nature, you know, was can be a detriment in some areas. I think for me too, it was a driver for just wanting to get better. So that thing that maybe can be seen as a weakness also helped me became a strength of mine as well. Because it did, it was about just kind of getting a little bit better every day, you know. And so I think, you know, coming from that mindset for me, one thing that I understood pretty early on, and I don't know whether I read this, if I saw this somewhere, read it somewhere at the time, but you know about the people you surround yourself with, you know, and how important that is. And so if you're not, you know, I didn't have people surrounding me that, not that the people surrounding me weren't great, but they weren't at the level that I wanted to be at, right being. And so I knew, like, just instinctually, that I've got to go pursue learning, because I can only learn to the degree of what my you know, if I'm not going to actively be searching for learning, you know, and for growth and for that, I'm going to get it from the people around me, you know. And that's not enough, based on who I've got surrounding me right now. So I could see early on that that was something I was that I was going to need to go outside of my small world. World to learn and grow to the degree that I wanted to grow, you know. So I'll give a recent example of this, you know, as far as where taking my businesses, and specifically the the one key kind of Cornerstone business that I have, which is a recruiting firm, feeling like, okay, you know, we continue to hit, you know, the different levels. And you know, we've had our struggle years with the pandemic and coming back from the pandemic, and now we're, we've been in that regrowth phase, and I'm like, All right, I need to see to seek out, you know, additional knowledge, additional for the team, for us, because I know that I don't have the knowledge that it takes to take this thing to the next level. I could figure it out, but that's going to take me a lot more time, a lot more resources, a lot more everything to do. So you know, that set me kind of on a path to find a mentor in the space who's where I want to take this business to. And so in working with him, we went out. We recently did a site visit, where we went to his location to see his team in action, the different tools and methods and concepts and everything that he's talked about with me, but to actually see them happening in real time, in the environment, being implemented in the world, real world. It helped connect things on a whole other level. For me, it moved them from a concept, because you never know too sometimes you know whether people are out walking the walk and talking the talk. It was clear then that I've got all the proof I need if I had any concerns or reservations or thoughts that Well, I don't know if, but this is going to work. I'm seeing it work in real time with this group, and had so many light bulb moments, like four in particular, where I was like, Oh, if I just make we're not that far off. If I just make these couple of tweaks, you know, that is going to change the trajectory, or the speed at which we can move. But like, if you're not seeking that out. And I think John, one of the things that that, you know, we've talked about before as it relates to personal development and to learning and to growth is I recognize, and I'm don't have too much, you know, ego to say I there's more I need to know. I don't have all the answers, so I'm going to go out and seek them from somebody who has already been where I'm at at now, and is where I want to go. I don't need to reinvent the wheel, but that takes humility to be able to say I don't know, so I'm going to go find out. And I think that's one of the things too, that's a challenge for a lot of people. You know, is, is that aspect of things being self aware enough to know that I don't know

Absolutely, absolutely. I mean, that's brilliant. That well and fully what I would expect of you, but it is brilliant to realize I don't know what I don't know. And I need to go to somebody that's already at that higher level, that's always, you know, it's always that idea of, of go visit with people who are where you want to be. And so you got to, first of all, know that you don't know what you need to know. And then, who is it that is where I want to be? And, and that's one of the great things about people, they'll help you. Like, like, how old is this guy?

He's, like, four years older than me. So, wow, mid 50s, yep. So, four years older than me. So, yeah.

Well, I just think it's, it's brilliant. And I think for our audience, just think about whatever you're doing. You know, whether, let's say you're a teacher. Okay, go see a great teacher. Identify who's a truly a great teacher. Go talk to them. Get mentored by them. Maybe you want to be a great parent. Well, what? Go and find somebody that's an expert on parenting. You know, I mean, this thing of life is is not that tough, just, but you got to be growing and learning. And you know, the reason this is a particular topic for me today is something I've I've come to realize, because personal growth has such a profound effect on my life. And let me be sure I mentioned this, you got to do personal growth, I think, with a system. Because if you don't have a system, it becomes just an intention. And that's the power, also, of our methodology. When you have a personal growth, that you're creating a system, and it's it's consistent every week, and it's strategic relative to what you want to accomplish, which is absolutely critical. You got to have the awareness to know what area you need to grow in and then make sure it's strategic relative to that. But when you're feeding that system to yourself every day in your 12 minute. A technique. By God, you do it, you, I mean, it gets so locked in that you truly do become a condiment learning. Anyway, the back to the point I was trying to make, is that so I am providing for my three grandkids, who are one years old, two years old and three years old personal growth when they turn the age of 23 and for each one of them for the next 50 years, I'm going to provide $10,000 in today's dollars, for them to go to something that pertains to personal growth. They'll have an input, obviously, on what it is, and the trustee of the trust is going to approve it, and I see that that is about the best thing, best gift I could ever get those grandkids. And you know, I hope I'm around in 20 years to see it, but it doesn't matter if I am or not. I think the gift is, is powerful. But here's the the parents don't see the value of it, you know, they're in their mid 30s. They have not had the experience with personal growth that I have. And so at first, you know, I'm like, What's wrong with them? You know, what's wrong with them? And then I realized, well, wait a minute, you know, I was as unenlightened when I was 36 as they are today. They're not intentionally being unenlightened. They're just, you know, they just don't relate to it. They haven't had the same life experience I have had, and that's why I can be so totally into it, and they can be so totally not into it. And so I think there's a lesson there too in the art of living. We all get frustrated that that people can't see what's so obvious to us, but they haven't had the same life experiences that we've had. They they don't have the same genetics, they haven't had the same things come into their consciousness. And so you got to give them some grace. But one of the things I think that, that I'm going to do and see, see if this works, is really sit them down with without the grandkids around, and just tell them for five minutes. You know my experience. And I don't know if they really know it or not, but I really want to really make them understand it, and then they can accept it or reject it. But I'm just trying to make their journey easier than mine has been. And you know, if you're going to be successful in life. Boy, do you have to learn everything the hard way, right?

Yeah, totally. And I think that's what you know, is the the lesson here. And I think just the wisdom of having more time behind you than maybe you do in front of you, you know too, is that I recognize that I probably spent, when I look back on my 30s and 40s, you know, or half of my 40s, the 30s and, you know, half of 40, the majority of the 40s, right? I think about, oh my gosh, you know, even in a growth kind of mode, I been focused on what I was learning and all of that, and also this methodology, having this methodology, I could have gotten, I could have made so much more progress, you know what I mean, had I been more focused? To your point, had I had a system? Had I been really focused in one particular area and getting that, you know, going deeper in my knowledge versus, you know, so broad, you know, and having that thinking time to to really understand, okay, where do I want to go, what do I want to do? And then, you know, we talk about, Well, who am I going to need to become, and what am I going to need to learn to right be, you know, what I mean to get where I want to go. And I think, you know this, this the story I shared with you earlier came as a result of the thinking session, which was just like, Okay, there's still so much harder than it needs to why, right? And going through that process, and it's like, okay, I we've hit all of these levels now it's time for the next one, and I need that. I need to know it's possible. And then I need to go sit, you know, and be in an environment where I can see it, you know, so that it's I'm inspired by it. It's aspirational, you know. And then I'm getting also some of the key concepts that maybe I'm missing and I'm just not privy to because I'm so close to the so close to it. You know what I mean, right, right, right. But no, I love, you know, John, where you're you're talking about kind of that pushback. And you know, one of the things, too, I would say, is it's that idea like that, if you're not growing, you know? So if you're not expanding, you're contracting. And. For me, the idea of playing it small or becoming smaller just makes me want to throw up. You know what else? And I the most time, like last week we spent those three days and or to one day in the office with them. But like now I'm like, on fire, and my brain is, is that I feel more alive, like when I'm when you're growing, and when you're like stretching yourself, and when you're bringing in new ideas, and you're like it, that's what life's about. So when we talk about the exceptional life, when we talk about that's why personal development and personal growth is such a big part of that. Because if you're not growing, really, in essence, what's happening is you're dying, like if you're not growing, you're staying exactly the same, the exact same version of yourself, the exact same. And it's rinse and repeat, you know? And so to me, you know that idea of that, and I know that's not it for everybody and to each their own, but that's how I look at it too, where and I need reminders sometimes, like this visit last week and going, I'm like, Oh my gosh, I feel like I'm back in my skin again, you know, because I'm I'm bringing new things into my world that now I can apply and put to work in my business. So anyway, right?

You know, it's interesting how, how it works. I've been really fascinated with this concept of the art of living, and what does that really entail? And I don't know why this is, but over the last few months, I'm way, way, way more accepting of people having a different level of enlightenment than than I have. And because, you know, I can tell them about, you know, this methodology, and you used to be, I'd be irritated with them if they couldn't what is so obvious. And now I'm like, you know, if you don't get it, you don't get it. Yeah, it happens to be at your detriment that you're not getting it, but for you're not intentionally not getting it, and I've just, you know now I'm way more either get yours into as you're enlightened, you know, wherever you are today, you're as enlightened as you're enlightened, and you're either going to get it or you're not going to get it, or you're going to sort of get it, and you're going to need a little more time to process it, but generally, you're either gonna get it or you're not gonna get it. And I'm perfectly fine either way. And I see oftentimes that, yeah, like I see people. I have a friend of mine that's about my age, and he doesn't exercise, doesn't see the value of exercise. Well, you know, okay, okay, I think it's an unenlightened view, but he's certainly entitled to that, and it will be to his detriment, right? So? And I think that as we talk about, you talked about growing and also thinking time, boy, there is a symbiotic relationship between growing with a system and thinking, because inevitably, what happens is, when you're feeding your head with the wisdom of experts from pure growing, you know, listening to a podcast or going like you did on your trip to Denver, then the other side of that is setting aside time to think and let your test whatever you've learned, and it's in those thinking sessions that you really figure out. Oh, so here's exactly what we need to do, and here's, here's what the priority is, and, and, but there's this constant relationship between thinking and growing. So it's powerful.

It is very powerful. And it's funny, too. John, one of the things that just popped into my head, you know, when we talk about anybody who's resistant to maybe change or it's just not where their life is at, right? Now, right? I've recognized too, and I think we saw this with some of our clients. I see this with team members. You know that work for me is it's that oftentimes pain is a driver for learning, like, unhappy or they're being pain at some point in their life for something like, they're not where they want to be. They're not where there's so there's a recognition that takes place where now maybe they're ready to start looking at growth and all of that. But one thing I've noticed, just this, you know, culturally, you know, is I think that so much of that feeling that people would have a pain associated with maybe not being where they want to add or whatever, is being like anesthesized By being distracted with all of the things that are happening, that shallow thinking that we talk about, you know, and all of that. And so I I'm seeing even just more. I'm noticing it where, I think a lot of the time, people aren't recognizing that there is a need to grow because they are not aware enough. They're so distracted and disconnected from themselves because they're just a way that. Their life is designed that they don't see the necessity sometimes, too for growth, because they just are so disconnected from themselves, right? They're here. I definitely feel like I wonder too whether, to some degree, there is that shift, you know, that has happened with technology and kind of some of those things that we've already talked about that distract people from really taking a close look. And, you know, because, again, I think oftentimes pain, or, you know, dissatisfaction with one's situation is oftentimes a catalyst for growth and personal development.

Yeah, that's, that's a very good point, you know, I, I'm sure some of our audience appreciates this oftentimes, you know, you you love your kids, but your kids don't really listen to you again. And you know, you're trying to help them, but they don't listen to you. And, you know, think about this, I've come to realize this because of this flip through culture we live in, like you were alluding to. You know, we're all thinking very shallowly, and so they're on this treadmill, you know, if they're in their 30s, as an example, boy, they're

With three kids, you know, yeah, right, right.

They are really on the treadmill. They're just doing everything they can to hold on, forget growing. Yeah, I know, but it is to their detriment. And you know, I see one of the challenges for us is, how does ginger and I ever sit them down and have a real conversation with them? Because the kids are always around. They're not they're not really tuned in. And we're trying to orchestrate this thing that we did last year again, where we as a family go somewhere for personal growth, and the real benefit is in the evenings, to be able to have an actual conversation with our grown kids and see what's going on. What can we help them with? Just deepen the relationship. But yeah, they don't really see the value of it. So it's really frustrating.

I think in my bit of advice, if you're going to sit down and have a conversation with them, you know how we we always talk about influence, influence like asking questions and asking the question about, do you have a success formula. It is asking questions that come from the emotion of where somebody is at. So if one thing you could change you know about your current situation, your career, your whatever it is, what would it be? You know, it's asking those quite because those all are going to relate to change. You know, are you satisfied? You know, on a scale of of one to 10, how satisfied are you with your professional life, with your personal life, like it is asking and because then you got a jumping off point to have a deeper conversation around, because that's where then the growth is going to come from if you are, if you are, you know, if you ask the question about the one thing that they would change to enhance their life, right, likely there's going to be something that they're going to have to learn or grow somehow, to have that thing that they want to experience, or that they want to do or that they want to you know. So I think by asking the right questions a lot of the time, you can lead people to the understanding, you know, that the growth is going to need to happen for that to change in their life, and you have to go out and seek that

Well, right? And I think the key thing you said is the question has to be emotional, yeah, you know, because, like, I could ask the logical question, so do you have a success formula? Well, that's all logic. You'll forget that, you know, but like you say, what would be one thing that would change, that you could change, that would improve your life? Well, that's obviously emotional.

And so what do you lay in bed at night? Like, what's keeping you up at night right now? Right? What is the one you know, that kind of challenge that you're having right now? You know, personally, professionally, in your relationship, or whatever, where's it, what's the challenge that you're having right now? And, like, you know, so it's those things where you get people talking about the thing that is, you know, the and that's where I think you can start to make change and really help drive home the point about how important bringing new information is in to either solve a problem, to enhance your life, to grow in some way, shape or form. And so that's where I always go when I'm talking to people and trying to have a meaningful conversation or a conversation of influence is to just ask those questions that really get people thinking and oftentimes will set people back on their heels a little bit like, oh, like, I thought about that. And so anyway, that was just my, my two cents for whatever that's worth, right?

Well, I think it's worth a lot. You know? I think that if you really look at it, anytime you got a problem, the solution is either you need more information, or you actually need to think deeply about it to figure it out. You know, it's one of the other you know, and I've I came to realize this, oh, I don't know, maybe, maybe 1520, years ago, but how freeing. It's just like what you went through. You're doing a thinking session, and you're you're self aware. You've trained yourself to be self aware enough to where you go, Oh, I don't have the answer, and it's okay. Who does have the answer? You know? I mean, when you embrace being a conduit of learning. You don't have to be the smartest person in the world, you know. You just got to be a conduit of learning and be self aware. I don't know, you know, the process of success, the older I get, the more simple it seems. So

No, and I love that too. And I love, you know, one more layer on top of what you just mentioned, you know, is then, and this is where the methodology comes in. Is taking the action, yeah, so it's going out, it's getting that knowledge. And then what are you going to do with that? You know, what are the things that you're going to how are you going to move that? Because it's one thing, like, I know so many people who listen to so many different podcasts, and, oh, that's a great idea. That's why the thinking time, I think, is so powerful. But, oh, that's a great idea, you know, or, Oh, that would be great. But then do nothing with nation that comes into their awareness. And so I think, you know, having that clarity in your life around what it is you want to learn, you know, all of the things that we always talk about, but then you're taking the action aligned with, you know, whatever's necessary based on what you've learned. And I think that's where the rubber, really, you know, meets the road.

You know that that's really the essence of the think it, be it methodology, is that it makes you take the actions. Because when you learn stuff, all it's affecting is your intentions, you know, you go, oh, oh, oh, I see what I need to do. But it may say an intention, unless you're feeding the succinct articulation of your life to yourself each day. That's what moves it from being an intention to something you actually do. Yeah, I I see every day the power of You, know, having this immense control over, over yourself from feeding the succinct articulation of your life. It just changes the dynamics of of you know, your intentions, which maybe you would, you would actually turn into actions 20% of the time. Now you're turning them into it 100% of time. So you've, you've 5x your, your, your the amount of intentions that turn into action. So exactly. So as we wrap up today, one thing I wanted to call it everybody's attention to. So once a quarter, we're going to have a zoom meetup with everybody and help everybody tweak their visualization. And now that my book has been out for a few months, we have a lot more people that are embracing this. And so we're going to do one of these meetups on Friday, March 28 at 11 o'clock AM, central time. And so if you want to be a part of that, just send me an email at John@thinkitbeit.com and again. So it's March 28 which is a Friday, 11am Central. So it's, it's a week from this coming Friday. And so our this episode will will drop on Thursday, so it's a week from Friday, and so we'd love you to join us, and we'll field questions and answers and so join us. So until next time, we'll see.