May 25, 2023

The Movie ‘Book Club’ – The Perils Of Aging

The Movie ‘Book Club’ – The Perils Of Aging

In this episode John talked about recently watching the movie “The Book Club”. It stars Jane Fonda, Candace Bergen, Diane Keaton and Mary Steembergen. It’s about four women who are in their 60s and 70s. The romantic and sexual side of their life has dried up. But then they read the book 50 shades of gray. It re-energizes the sensual side of each one of them. When John watched this movie, he watched it through the lens of Think It Be It. The reason each of the women have lost the romantic/intimacy side of their life is because they have nothing in their life that pulled their lives forward. Like a daily visualization. They were letting themselves be innately wired for survival and doing nothing about it. The effect was as each got older, their lives were contracting. Getting smaller. They become more fear-based. More focused on the limitations than the possibilities. The net effect is it made both John and Kelly appreciate the profound value of having a daily visualization where you articulate exactly the person you want to be, exactly what you want to accomplish, and precisely how you can achieve your clearly defined goals. That’s how you create the desired life you want in the future. And that daily visualization pulls your thoughts forward. Which then creates the actions which creates the life you want. Powerfully simple.

About the Hosts:

John Mitchell

John’s story is pretty amazing. After spending 20 years as an entrepreneur, John was 50 years old but wasn’t as successful as he thought he should be. To rectify that, he decided to find the “top book in the world” on SUCCESS and apply that book literally Word for Word to his life. That Book is Think & Grow Rich. The book says there’s a SECRET for success, but the author only gives you half the secret. John figured out the full secret and a 12 minute a day technique to apply it.

When John applied his 12 minute a day technique to his life, he saw his yearly income go to over $5 million a year, after 20 years of $200k - 300k per year. The 25 times increase happened because John LEVERAGED himself by applying science to his life.

His daily technique works because it focuses you ONLY on what moves the needle, triples your discipline, and consistently generates new business ideas every week. This happens because of 3 key aspects of the leveraging process.

John’s technique was profiled on the cover of Time Magazine. He teaches it at the University of Texas’ McCombs School of Business, which is one the TOP 5 business schools in the country. He is also the “mental coach” for the head athletic coaches at the University of Texas as well.

Reach out to John at john@thinkitbeit.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/john-mitchell-76483654/

Kelly Hatfield

Kelly Hatfield is an entrepreneur at heart. She believes wholeheartedly in the power of the ripple effect and has built several successful companies aimed at helping others make a greater impact in their businesses and lives.

She has been in the recruiting, HR, and leadership development space for over 25 years and loves serving others. Kelly, along with her amazing business partners and teams, has built four successful businesses aimed at matching exceptional talent with top organizations and developing their leadership. Her work coaching and consulting with companies to develop their leadership teams, design recruiting and retention strategies, AND her work as host of Absolute Advantage podcast (where she talks with successful entrepreneurs, executives, and thought leaders across a variety of industries), give her a unique perspective covering the hiring experience and leadership from all angles.

As a Partner in her most recent venture, Think It Be It, Kelly has made the natural transition into the success and human achievement field, helping entrepreneurs break through to the next level in their businesses. Further expanding the impact she’s making in this world. Truly living into the power of the ripple effect.

Reach out to Kelly at kelly@thinkitbeit.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kelly-hatfield-2a2610a/

Learn more about Think It Be It at https://thinkitbeit.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/think-it-be-it-llc

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thinkitbeitcompany

 


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Transcript
Kelly Hatfield:

We believe life is precious. This is it. We've

Kelly Hatfield:

got one shot at this. It's on us to live life to the fullest to

Kelly Hatfield:

maximize what we've been given and play the game of life at our

Kelly Hatfield:

full potential.

John Mitchell:

Are you living up to your potential? Are you

John Mitchell:

frustrated that despite your best intentions, you just can't

John Mitchell:

seem to make the changes needed to take things to the next

John Mitchell:

level. So you can impact your career relationships and health.

Kelly Hatfield:

If this is hitting home, you're in the

Kelly Hatfield:

right place. Our mission is to open the door to the exceptional

Kelly Hatfield:

life by showing you how to play the game of life at a higher

Kelly Hatfield:

level. So you're playing at your full potential rather than at a

Kelly Hatfield:

fraction as most people do. We'll share the one thing that

Kelly Hatfield:

once we learned it, our lives were transformed. And once you

Kelly Hatfield:

learn it, watch what happens. Welcome to think Be it the

Kelly Hatfield:

podcast. I'm Kelly Hatfield.

John Mitchell:

Hey. And I'm John Michell. So today we're going to

John Mitchell:

talk about the movie, The Book Club. Now, they have a new

John Mitchell:

version of it out that's in Venice, but but I'm talking

John Mitchell:

about the original one that was done. I don't know three years

John Mitchell:

ago had Jane Fonda. Diane Keaton, Candice Bergen and

Kelly Hatfield:

Mary Mary students. steenberge.

John Mitchell:

Yeah, yes, that's right. And so is interesting. So

John Mitchell:

a week or so ago, I don't know where ginger was, but But I

John Mitchell:

decided I wanted to watch a movie. And so I'm like, I bet

John Mitchell:

that'll be pretty interesting. And you know, to set the stage

John Mitchell:

here, the story is that you've got these four different women,

John Mitchell:

one's a federal judge, one. Jane Fonda owns a big hotel. One's a

John Mitchell:

chef, and one, her husband just died and semi successful. And so

John Mitchell:

but in all of their cases, their the intimate side of their life

John Mitchell:

has ended. There's no sex, there's no intimacy, and, but

John Mitchell:

they're all sort of functional, and they're having their life.

John Mitchell:

And one of them, they had this book club, and they read a new

John Mitchell:

book every month. And so one of them suggests they read the book

John Mitchell:

50 Shades of Grey. Have you seen that book or

Kelly Hatfield:

not? I've not read the book. I saw the movie,

Kelly Hatfield:

though book club, when it came out, like three years ago,

John Mitchell:

as a free hot movie. Anyway, so they're,

John Mitchell:

they're reading the book, and it, you know, let's say

John Mitchell:

stimulates them to open up that side of their life. And they all

John Mitchell:

go and have an affair of some sort. And I'm watching it. And

John Mitchell:

of course, I'm why looking at it from the lens of think it, be

John Mitchell:

it? And I'm like, Well, why is that happened that that whole

John Mitchell:

side of their life has, has gone dead. Sort of probably, over

John Mitchell:

time, you know, it's happening, slowly, but surely, and maybe

John Mitchell:

not even consciously. And again, all the women are in their late

John Mitchell:

60s, early 70s. And I'm like, boy, I see this. So clearly.

John Mitchell:

They have nothing that is pulling their life forward in

John Mitchell:

the direction, they want it to go. They're just getting up

John Mitchell:

doing what they always do. And, and because they have no mindset

John Mitchell:

practice, each morning and their morning routine. They're wired

John Mitchell:

for survival. And, and 90% of their thoughts are fear based.

John Mitchell:

And, and they're reactive. And so that's what is driving their

John Mitchell:

life. And as as they're getting older, they're their life is

John Mitchell:

contracting. You know, because that's what happens as you get

John Mitchell:

older, when you get, you know, I don't know, to a lot of people

John Mitchell:

in their 60s 70s and 80s. Boy, their life starts to really

John Mitchell:

contract and it is all happening, basically,

John Mitchell:

subconsciously. And it made me think of how powerful think it

John Mitchell:

be it is and that when you have this a synced articulation of

John Mitchell:

your life, and where you want to go and how you're going to get

John Mitchell:

there. Boy, that's that's like this locomotive pulling your

John Mitchell:

life forward, and you're the creator of this life that you're

John Mitchell:

pulling forward. And it was so impactful for me to, to see

John Mitchell:

that, that that that's why they that part of their life died and

John Mitchell:

how easy it is to fix that. But what's your take on all that?

John Mitchell:

Yeah, no,

Kelly Hatfield:

I see that completely. And I can't help.

Kelly Hatfield:

It's so funny when we talk about that think it'd be a method, you

Kelly Hatfield:

know, and one of the components of method of the method is the

Kelly Hatfield:

growth. It's a focus on growing. Right. And would it be fair to

Kelly Hatfield:

say, I mean, do you think that this is true, or that there

Kelly Hatfield:

could be some validity to this, that oftentimes, when people get

Kelly Hatfield:

into their 60s 70s, that there isn't a focus on continuing to

Kelly Hatfield:

grow? To excel? You know, you talked about contracting? Well,

Kelly Hatfield:

that's the very opposite of growth. Yeah, the opposite of a

Kelly Hatfield:

growth mindset of, you know, learning new things, new

Kelly Hatfield:

challenges, things along those lines. And so, you know, I think

Kelly Hatfield:

that that's one of the things that might happen, you know, as

Kelly Hatfield:

you age is that, you know, you get into, maybe you're not in

Kelly Hatfield:

your career, and so that part of your life isn't, you're not

Kelly Hatfield:

developing a skill anymore, or that's related to your career,

Kelly Hatfield:

you know, or, you know, there just isn't that focus on

Kelly Hatfield:

growing. So do you think that that is true, too? And that's

Kelly Hatfield:

such a critical part of the method. But do you feel like

Kelly Hatfield:

that could be part of the equation as well?

John Mitchell:

Absolutely. Kelly, you know, I think, well,

John Mitchell:

first of all, I think that very few people actually grow,

John Mitchell:

whether they're in their 20s 30s 40s, or 50s, they think

John Mitchell:

they're growing more often than not, they're entertaining

John Mitchell:

themselves, they're not growing in something that is strategic

John Mitchell:

relative to what they want to accomplish. But I think it's

John Mitchell:

particularly true when people get in their 60s and 70s, and

John Mitchell:

80s. And, you know, I, I'm glad you asked this, because one of

John Mitchell:

the things I've seen in my myself, is my approach to growth

John Mitchell:

has changed really, over the last year or so I used to try

John Mitchell:

and read a book a month. And then I'm like, you know, it

John Mitchell:

takes so long to read a book if you're a slow reader like I am.

John Mitchell:

And, and, and, you know, I used to be very concerned about

John Mitchell:

reading about marketing, you know, I mean, we think it be it,

John Mitchell:

we don't market it. Well, I mean, you know, if people want

John Mitchell:

to do it, they come to us, and, and, you know, I got a whole

John Mitchell:

world of teaching it to athletes at the University of Texas. But

John Mitchell:

besides entrepreneurs, so you know, marketing is just not

John Mitchell:

something that I am concerned about today, whereas I was big

John Mitchell:

time concerned about it a year or two ago. And I started to see

John Mitchell:

how powerful YouTube is, it's basically getting you to

John Mitchell:

premium, because then you can download videos, and like, just

John Mitchell:

last week, I'm like, What do I want to grow on? And I decided I

John Mitchell:

wanted to be more more grateful, have more gratitude, and maybe,

John Mitchell:

maybe not, I mean, I'm, I'm very grateful and have a lot of

John Mitchell:

gratitude, but I want to understand it deeper in terms

John Mitchell:

of, instead of intellectually, thinking I'm grateful for this

John Mitchell:

grateful for that, I want to feel that gratefulness and just

John Mitchell:

take it at a deeper level. And so I started watching videos on

John Mitchell:

YouTube around, you know, learning gratitude at a deeper

John Mitchell:

level. And, you know, that has been really powerful, but, but

John Mitchell:

you always got to have something that intellectually you want to

John Mitchell:

grow in, and because the more you grow, the more it opens up

John Mitchell:

the rest of your life and other ways to grow. Right.

Kelly Hatfield:

Yeah, absolutely. You know, and I

Kelly Hatfield:

think it's critical, I think, just when you stop growing, you

Kelly Hatfield:

know, what's the opposite of growth? You know, what I mean?

Kelly Hatfield:

Right down eventually, you know,

John Mitchell:

I don't know that that I don't necessarily think

John Mitchell:

it's death as much as it's maybe it's intellectual death. Yeah.

John Mitchell:

You know, and you know, intellectual death also means

John Mitchell:

being very fear based and I don't know if you see this with

John Mitchell:

your, your mom and dad. But as they get older, there's they're

John Mitchell:

very much wired to fear and, and things that didn't used to

John Mitchell:

scare. Scare them. Now, right under percent.

Kelly Hatfield:

Yep. And I think whether it's my parents, whether

Kelly Hatfield:

it's the parents of friends You know, I see that a lot where

Kelly Hatfield:

they're in that fear base, you know, their watch or whatever

Kelly Hatfield:

they're watching on TV is feedings, you know, and then

Kelly Hatfield:

also, too, it's so interesting. Like, I think, too, we talked

Kelly Hatfield:

about stories in our prior episode. And, you know, I see so

Kelly Hatfield:

much, what's the word that I'm looking for lack of fulfillment?

Kelly Hatfield:

I think some regret. Bitterness? Yeah, you know, and I see in

Kelly Hatfield:

people who stop who have, quote, unquote, retired, yeah, and then

Kelly Hatfield:

just kind of what happens, you know, if you're not moving

Kelly Hatfield:

towards something, if you don't have a plan for, you know,

Kelly Hatfield:

whether that's growing, whether it's a pot, like, I don't know,

Kelly Hatfield:

I just feel like, I see it as like the kiss of death from a,

Kelly Hatfield:

you know, not necessarily like, I want to work until the day I

Kelly Hatfield:

go, but I want to make an impact and contribute. And, you know,

Kelly Hatfield:

and I think when that's one of the things when I think about,

Kelly Hatfield:

like, the book club, you know, that you were talking about are

Kelly Hatfield:

people that are in that phase of their life who aren't doing

Kelly Hatfield:

something meaningful to them. Right? How it impacts their

Kelly Hatfield:

mindset, it impacts the story, they're telling about their

Kelly Hatfield:

story and their life. You know, what I mean? And again, that

Kelly Hatfield:

contraction that you're talking about, where everything, you

Kelly Hatfield:

know, gets small, and you're in that fear based space? And so,

Kelly Hatfield:

yeah,

John Mitchell:

you know, I know exactly what you mean, you know,

John Mitchell:

I think I told you a while back, I went to my high school

John Mitchell:

reunion, and I'm like, I have nothing in common with these

John Mitchell:

guys. Nothing. And, and I'm like, that is really

John Mitchell:

interesting. They're all, you know, on the path to, to landing

John Mitchell:

the plane and calling it a day. And that's exactly the opposite

John Mitchell:

of me. And, you know, I now I know, that sounds like, I'm

John Mitchell:

better than them. And I don't mean it that way. And I've as

John Mitchell:

I've thought about this, I'm like, What a gift, think it be,

John Mitchell:

it has been for me, because in the second half of my life, I'll

John Mitchell:

do this forever. And it's always going to be iterating and

John Mitchell:

evolving. And, you know, there's this, this group of people that

John Mitchell:

we teach this to that, that, you know, we take them along that,

John Mitchell:

that journey as they're, they're doing it and I've now come to

John Mitchell:

appreciate what a true gift thing can be. It has been to my

John Mitchell:

life and and as a source to help people and, and I know that you

John Mitchell:

feel the same way. But as you get older, and as you, you get

John Mitchell:

to that point where it's time to, quote unquote, retire,

John Mitchell:

require, re retire from the having to work world, you know,

John Mitchell:

then you have to recreate what is that? What is my new life

John Mitchell:

look like, and you got to create something that gives your life

John Mitchell:

meaning. And that's harder for some people to do than others,

John Mitchell:

but, but if you really think about it, you can, you can

John Mitchell:

create a life where you give yourself meaning, where you're

John Mitchell:

helping other people in some way, and you're not on the nine

John Mitchell:

to five schedule, and you can sort of do life on your own

John Mitchell:

terms, but, but at the end of the day, you got to be doing

John Mitchell:

something that helps other people for your life to have

John Mitchell:

meaning

Kelly Hatfield:

100% Nope, I would 100% agree with you. And I

Kelly Hatfield:

think that's part of the challenge, you know, that I see

Kelly Hatfield:

with the older people that are around me, you know, again,

Kelly Hatfield:

parents, their friends and my parents and, you know, in laws

Kelly Hatfield:

and is just that their world has gotten so small, their career,

Kelly Hatfield:

their identity was tied up in their work, they didn't do the

Kelly Hatfield:

work of being like, okay, so that chapter, you know, is is

Kelly Hatfield:

close, what can I carry with me into this next chapter? Who do I

Kelly Hatfield:

want to be? What do I want to achieve? Like, it's almost like,

Kelly Hatfield:

it's when the career is over. Everybody stops, the identity is

Kelly Hatfield:

over. And it's like, okay, well, like you said, now I'm just

Kelly Hatfield:

gonna kind of slide into, you know, home and it's like, No, we

Kelly Hatfield:

got one shot at this man.

John Mitchell:

You know, I just had lunch with a friend of mine.

John Mitchell:

And I know I've mentioned her before, but they were my

John Mitchell:

neighbors here. And you know, unlike Austin, and when I first

John Mitchell:

moved here, they were my first friends. They live two houses

John Mitchell:

down and I loved we used we used to party all the time every

John Mitchell:

night. It was a happy hour, but I watched their nightmare. Our

John Mitchell:

marriage for 20 years, literally, I mean, it was, they

John Mitchell:

were always at each other. And I'm like, Oh, just get a

John Mitchell:

divorce, you know, but I love both of them. Now they are

John Mitchell:

getting a divorce. And so I sat down with with her about a month

John Mitchell:

ago. And I'm all excited, I'm like, this is a perfect

John Mitchell:

opportunity to recreate your life, you she's, she's like 51

John Mitchell:

now, and you got a blank sheet of paper. And the divorce is

John Mitchell:

basically about over you can create whatever life you want.

John Mitchell:

I'm so excited. She's not as excited because she's bogged

John Mitchell:

down with insecurity and fear of the future and nothing really

John Mitchell:

pulling her forward. Now she's had to go back to work. And

John Mitchell:

she's a schoolteacher, and she didn't like being a teacher, and

John Mitchell:

which, you know, I can understand what a what a great

John Mitchell:

profession but But I understand, and I saw how your image of

John Mitchell:

yourself. And again, the stories you tell yourself can hugely

John Mitchell:

impact whether you really can take that blank sheet of paper

John Mitchell:

and create the life you want easy for me to see her doing it

John Mitchell:

because she has so many great qualities. But I was stunned by

John Mitchell:

how she can't see it. I mean, it was interesting,

Kelly Hatfield:

it's interesting, when you're in the

Kelly Hatfield:

middle of something like that, when there's so much emotion

Kelly Hatfield:

around it, it's easy for you to see it because you're objective

Kelly Hatfield:

you're not, you're on the outside looking at this amazing

Kelly Hatfield:

woman and seeing the possibilities for her that she

Kelly Hatfield:

can't see for herself right now too, because she is in the

Kelly Hatfield:

middle of this. And again, the stories that she's telling

Kelly Hatfield:

herself about being in her 50s and divorced, and, you know, all

Kelly Hatfield:

of that. And so and you know, divorce is such a, you know,

Kelly Hatfield:

there's a process you've got to go through, you got to you know,

Kelly Hatfield:

where you're grieving that and like, so she's still going

Kelly Hatfield:

through all of that stuff. Definitely if the divorce isn't

Kelly Hatfield:

final, so suddenly on the other side of it, but isn't that

Kelly Hatfield:

interesting?

John Mitchell:

Right? Well, I was telling her it of course,

John Mitchell:

you know, I'm saying, let me show you how to manipulate men.

John Mitchell:

I mean, men are so easy to manipulate. And she's very

John Mitchell:

attractive and, and great personality, great sense of

John Mitchell:

humor. I'm like, you, you're just going to crush it in the

John Mitchell:

dating world. I mean, you're just going to crush it in. And,

John Mitchell:

you know, of course, I see so much potential, because she's

John Mitchell:

right at that 50 year mark that was so transformative in my

John Mitchell:

life. I'm like, What a life happened after 50 I mean, you

John Mitchell:

know, I had 50 times the life in it since I've been 50 that I had

John Mitchell:

in the prior 50 Year 50 years. So you know, it's funny how it

John Mitchell:

works.

Kelly Hatfield:

Yeah, lots of opportunity, that's for sure.

Kelly Hatfield:

And the cool part about it, too, is where she's at. And I think

Kelly Hatfield:

the great thing that comes with age, we've talked about this in

Kelly Hatfield:

prior episodes is just the wisdom, you know, comes from

Kelly Hatfield:

having gone through what you've gone through and, and, you know,

Kelly Hatfield:

so she's got all of that to pull from to hopefully, you know,

John Mitchell:

right. So I think the takeaway from this and

John Mitchell:

again, getting back to the the book club and the for women in

John Mitchell:

their lives, sort of being in the ditch and in terms of

John Mitchell:

romance is that your thoughts? Create your actions, and your

John Mitchell:

actions create the life you have. Therefore, as you go

John Mitchell:

through life, you've got to have something that's pulling your

John Mitchell:

thoughts through on a continual basis, because that's affects

John Mitchell:

your, your actions. And that's exactly what our 12 minute day

John Mitchell:

methodology does. So, until next time, we'll see you

Kelly Hatfield:

thanks for listening today. If you've had

Kelly Hatfield:

your own aha moment from today's episode, send me or John an

Kelly Hatfield:

email. We'd love to share your epiphany with our audience. So

Kelly Hatfield:

email us at Kelly@thinkitbeit.com or

Kelly Hatfield:

John@thinkitbeit.com. In the meantime, live the exceptional