May 4, 2023

The Benefits Of Aging

The Benefits Of Aging

In this episode John and Kelly talk about the benefits of aging. As Kelly is about to turn 50 in a couple months, she has spent a lot of time thinking about aging. And she really likes the wisdom that comes from aging. The increase confidence. Caring less what other people think. Then John discusses the fact that aging gives you perspective. He says that the older you get, the more you realize that most things don’t matter. Only a few things matter. John shared the observation in his own life that he sees cases of where he is evolving. He mentioned that when he was in his early 50s and met his wife Ginger, she commented on the fact that every once while he would throw F bombs around. John didn’t like that part of himself because that’s now how he was raised. Wasn’t very classy. So he immediately fixed it because it didn’t serve him. He also a few years later observed that sometimes he would get mad out loud. Oftentimes it was around technology. But he realized that what you say out loud is 10 times more powerful than what you think. He was only feeding the anger by venting out loud. So he stopped it. The lesson is that as you get older, you see ways to improve yourself and often times you do. John also mentioned that as he gets older, he gets more and more grateful. He also said that one of the latest things he’s begun doing is each evening after getting on the treadmill, he takes about 30 minutes and just writes down what he’s observing in life. He says it’s powerful when you can articulate what your observing rather than just thinking what you’re observing.

About the Hosts:

John Mitchell

John’s story is pretty amazing. After spending 20 years as an entrepreneur, John was 50 years old but wasn’t as successful as he thought he should be. To rectify that, he decided to find the “top book in the world” on SUCCESS and apply that book literally Word for Word to his life. That Book is Think & Grow Rich. The book says there’s a SECRET for success, but the author only gives you half the secret. John figured out the full secret and a 12 minute a day technique to apply it.

When John applied his 12 minute a day technique to his life, he saw his yearly income go to over $5 million a year, after 20 years of $200k - 300k per year. The 25 times increase happened because John LEVERAGED himself by applying science to his life.

His daily technique works because it focuses you ONLY on what moves the needle, triples your discipline, and consistently generates new business ideas every week. This happens because of 3 key aspects of the leveraging process.

John’s technique was profiled on the cover of Time Magazine. He teaches it at the University of Texas’ McCombs School of Business, which is one the TOP 5 business schools in the country. He is also the “mental coach” for the head athletic coaches at the University of Texas as well.

Reach out to John at john@thinkitbeit.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/john-mitchell-76483654/

Kelly Hatfield

Kelly Hatfield is an entrepreneur at heart. She believes wholeheartedly in the power of the ripple effect and has built several successful companies aimed at helping others make a greater impact in their businesses and lives.

She has been in the recruiting, HR, and leadership development space for over 25 years and loves serving others. Kelly, along with her amazing business partners and teams, has built four successful businesses aimed at matching exceptional talent with top organizations and developing their leadership. Her work coaching and consulting with companies to develop their leadership teams, design recruiting and retention strategies, AND her work as host of Absolute Advantage podcast (where she talks with successful entrepreneurs, executives, and thought leaders across a variety of industries), give her a unique perspective covering the hiring experience and leadership from all angles.

As a Partner in her most recent venture, Think It Be It, Kelly has made the natural transition into the success and human achievement field, helping entrepreneurs break through to the next level in their businesses. Further expanding the impact she’s making in this world. Truly living into the power of the ripple effect.

Reach out to Kelly at kelly@thinkitbeit.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kelly-hatfield-2a2610a/

Learn more about Think It Be It at https://thinkitbeit.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/think-it-be-it-llc

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thinkitbeitcompany

 


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Transcript
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We believe life is precious. This is it. We've got

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one shot at this. It's on us to live life to the fullest to

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maximize what we've been given and play the game of life at our

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full potential. Are you living up to your potential? Are you

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frustrated that despite your best intentions, you just can't

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seem to make the changes needed to take things to the next

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level. So you can impact your career relationships and health.

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If this is hitting home, you're in the right place. Our mission

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is to open the door to the exceptional life by showing you

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how to play the game of life at a higher level. So you're

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playing at your full potential, rather than at a fraction as

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most people do. We'll share the one thing that once we learned

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it, our lives were transformed. And once you learn it, watch

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what happens.

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Welcome to think it be the podcast. I'm Kelly Hatfield.

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Hey. And I'm John Michell. So today, Kelly, our topic is

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aging, and the benefits of aging.

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So I'd like your observations, what are you in your late 20s?

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Early 30s?

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Ever Told you, you're my favorite person?

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Oh, you can't be over the what? 35?

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I actually have a big birthday coming up. I will be 50 in June.

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Are you serious? Yeah. So are you serious? I am stop.

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Man, I'll tell you well, you know, you know what, what 50

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meant to me. So I'm, I'm curious to see what 50 All mean to you,

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but that this is perfect. So in two months, you're going to be

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50. So just explain to our audience, your take on Aging,

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the process the benefits? Just your observations about it?

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Well, I love it. I am so excited. Well, first of all, I

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think you're aging. I mean, what's the alternative? Yeah,

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no, kid, okay. So I'm gonna always have that framework

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around this that I'm lucky to see another year, and I'm

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excited about what the next one is going to bring. And so I love

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the wisdom that comes along with it, I love the

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how you really get to know but like, by now with all of the

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experiences that you've had, and the the trials and the

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tribulations, and there's just things that you know, now that

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you didn't know, then, you know, what I mean, and a competence

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that comes with that, you know, I remember being in my 30s You

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know, even as I turned 40, and in my early 40s,

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you know, still, you know, kind of trying to figure out who you

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are

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caring too much about what other people think or about where

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should I be, as opposed to where I am, you know, the kinds of

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things so I just love the confidence, and the wisdom that

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comes along with aging. The other thing too, for me is that

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it really is just like, I feel better than I did in my 30s from

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my physical, you know, I really take care of myself, my health

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is a priority. And, and so it's just a, a number, I feel more

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alive, vibrant and have more energy than I did in my 30s. So,

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yeah, you, you know, I think you hit on a couple of things that

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are great, you know, the wisdom and the confidence. And, you

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know, I don't know what made me do this. But, you know, one

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night, a week or so ago, ginger and I were having a talk and

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I've been I just been reflecting back on, on my life. And

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you know, I could see where I took a jump it just in, in how I

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played the game of life as as an example, when I was when I met

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ginger when I was you know, 52 I think or so, maybe 53 She

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observed that every one small, it wouldn't happen all the time,

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obviously, but but it would happen sometimes. Where I get

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mad about something, and I would have a pretty foul mouth, you

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know, I'd throw F bombs around. And and she pointed that out to

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me. And I'm like, well, that's not how I was raised. You know,

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I was I was went to Jesuit High School that there's no, that's

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not a classy way to be. And, and so I immediately stopped it and

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and she is surprised or because you know, just from that

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recognition of it, I could stop it. And you know, I and you may

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not even know this about me. You know there were three things

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that happen

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And in my 40s, that were pretty devastating. The first one is my

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best friend died. And I found it. Oh, no, I didn't, which,

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which was, you know, he died in a hot tub. And it was. And he

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was, you know, a interestingly, two or three months before that

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we both told each other, we loved each other, which guys

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usually don't do that. No, but, but that shows you and so it was

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obviously devastating. Then the second thing that happened, like

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a year or two later, the US government accused me of

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something I didn't do, you know, I owned a bank and my

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authorities and they accused me of something that I flat didn't

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do. And they were trying to put me in jail. And it was an ugly

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situation and, and got really ugly. And but ultimately, I

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could prove I was innocent, and they dropped the charges.

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But very, very difficult. Period. And then the third thing

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was I was in a in a business I really hated. And so those three

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things as I'm rolling into my 50s, she, you know, probably

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were the foundation for a lot of F bombs, you know, just to

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inclination to F bombs. Well, yeah, there's a lot of anger.

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There's a lot of anger there and right with the situations. Yeah,

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right. Right. And, and, and, you know, but as once ginger pointed

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that out to me, I'm like, Well, that didn't serve me. There's

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no, that's not really who I am. That's embarrassing that I'm not

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more articulate. Sure, I understand getting mad. I, by my

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nature, probably have a strong temper. But you know, I'm going

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to stop and and so I did stop it immediately. And, and she was

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surprised that that just that, you know, being able to stop it

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was possible. And and then, you know, I noticed, what was the

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other one that I I noticed? Oh, I would every once awhile, get

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mad out loud, like, I don't know, I bet everybody's like

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this, especially around technology. You know, if there's

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something technology that goes wrong, sometimes I, I would want

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to take my computer and throw it in the lake. Not that didn't

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happen a lot. But I'd be very vocal without using F bombs

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about my anchor. And then I'm like, what, what good is that?

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Do you know what and you know, this is part from learning from

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Trevor Moe had the mental coach at Alabama that what you say out

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loud is 10 times more powerful than, than what you think I'm

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like, all I'm doing is is giving 10 times the energy to whatever

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I'm upset about. I'm like, this makes no sense. And and, you

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know, I saw that I was able to

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immediately stop that. It just didn't make sense. And so the

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point of those two stories is i i As I look back on my life, I

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can actually see where I was one way and became more enlightened.

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And I changed

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it Can you can you think of things like in your life where

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you've you saw something and you you evolve to a higher level?

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Yeah, I mean, I think absolutely. One of the things

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for me that many people listening can relate to?

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Probably, probably a lot of women would be my guess is this

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tendency to people, please.

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You know, and so it was just part of my family dynamic.

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Growing up, I kept getting into my 20s, my 30s I stayed at a

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company that I shouldn't have stayed out as long as I did 14

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years out of a sense of a false sense of loyalty and wanting to

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please the owner, you know, and it all worked out the time.

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Exactly. It was supposed to, but you know, I think that tendency

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to,

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to,

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not at all costs, but to make everybody happy and to try to

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make it okay for everybody and just how exhausting that is. And

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in an effort to do that you, you put yourself nowhere on your

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list. You're right. You know, we've talked about this before,

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too when it comes to business or I'm saying yes to the wrong

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things. I'm saying yes to everything I'm you know, burning

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out running myself into the ground because of this, this

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tendency that I have to try to make people happy, you know, and

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it wasn't even to like me, it was more of just It's my nature

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to like fix things. You know, it was the family dynamic that I

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grew up in was just like if I can make this okay for

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everybody, then maybe we'll get through it, you know, right. And

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so that was a

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Hard pattern for me to break and so boundaries. Right? Um, you

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know, so going from not having any boundaries to setting

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boundaries is a huge thing for me in my 30s and, and especially

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the end of my 30s and, you know, 40 moving into my early 40s

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Understanding that, oh, you know what I mean, it's so important,

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I've got to start setting some boundaries around this, you

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know, both professionally and personally, or, I'm, I'm never

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going to be, you know, happy to the extent that I can be,

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you know, so that definitely was one of the things for me was

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that people pleasing nature and just understanding that.

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And I know, this sounds cynical to, you know, but like, here we

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go.

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Get ready.

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But I mean, it goes back to what your your, you know, that whole

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idea when I was talking about being a little about being

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judged, you're not talked about that before, people aren't

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thinking about you at all, you know, that center stage

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syndrome, you know,

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where you think, you know, people are, they don't? If

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you're not, if you say no, they're going to move on to the

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next person who will say yes, you know, what I mean, like, so

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just understanding the extent to which that, you know, saying no,

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doesn't mean.

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So, anyway, that was a big one for me where my behavior

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shifted, you know, definitely. And then the other thing that

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comes to with just confidence really quick, and that. So once

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you've gone through, like having started, you know, multiple

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businesses, having multiple businesses in operation now

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making it through the highs, the lows, this roller coaster of

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entrepreneurship and business ownership. One thing that as I

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knew, as I come into this next, were this confidence, like, I'll

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bet on me any day of the week. You know what I mean? Like, if

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I, so knowing that, so just that confidence that comes with

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having gone through all of that, and being able to reflect on it

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to say,

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I made it through that, or, man, here's how I would have

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navigated that a little bit differently if I had that to do

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over again, so that I'm carrying the lessons with me. So it's

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just a different way of looking at.

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There isn't that apprehension, like wondering if you can do

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something or like, I know I can, and I prove it over and over

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again, you know what I mean? Right, right. You know, I think

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you're right. And, you know, the, this idea of operating in

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life with confidence is, is so tied to what other people think,

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because if you're really focused on what other people think, or

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put too much weight on it, it detracts from your confidence,

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because you're always judging what are other people thinking

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about what I'm saying or doing. And, like you say, this is so

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true, they're not thinking about you, you think they're thinking

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about you, but they're not thinking about you. And, and I

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saw in my 50s, how much fun life was when, when I operated at a

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higher level of confidence. Of course, I was driven by our 12

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minute day technique I was, you know, just was that level of

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control I had over and have over my life was so immensely more.

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But, you know,

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I, it's always amazing to me relative to aging, is why do we

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really have to get older to learn these things. I mean,

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that's the natural effect of aging. But, you know, I look at

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so many, so many of the things sort of the lessons that that I

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have learned in my life, that people could have sat me down

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and said at

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25 or 30, and said, Now, John, here's about 10 or 15 lessons,

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get these things. I mean, friggin get them,

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so that you don't have to go through all the things that I

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went through. And you know, maybe as I talked about this,

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this is what, enthuses me about the new course I'm creating at

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the University of Texas

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to go even deeper than then they could be it but you know, but I

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just see that oftentimes you tell people these lessons and it

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goes in one ear and out the other, you know, I mean, what do

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you think about that? I think I 100% get where you're coming

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from but like this goes back to what we've been talking about to

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like the people you surround yourself with are like I didn't

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grow up around people who could sit me down and tell me the top

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10 lessons in life to that wasn't my reality. I had a

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couple of really a great, great teachers. You know what

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I mean, in high school, right? There's some great coaches in

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soccer, but nobody, not a mentor, you know, until I was in

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my 30s, you know, that sat down and said, hey, you know, these

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are the things that you really want to focus on in life, the

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whole idea of focusing on the things that move the needle and

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having clarity and all of those things, that wasn't part they

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didn't teach that in school. Right. And then I wasn't around

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that, you know, in my career, my company didn't offer that, you

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know, so and so the importance of having a mentor, and if not

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personnel, and I think, to your point, having been introduced to

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it in a class, at that age, I mean, we I'd say this all the

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time, man, I wish I would have been introduced to your method,

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you know, 20 years earlier, I imagine where things would be

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now and, and, you know, so I think it's fantastic, that

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you're putting a curriculum together for, you know, for

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young adults, to carry with them into their life? Well, you know,

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it's, it's interesting. So as I develop this new course, here's,

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there's four components to it. Leadership of self, which, which

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means having that mindset, you can accomplish anything you set

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your mind to, it's also personal responsibility, which means

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never letting yourself be a victim, and always owning your

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results. And if you don't like the results, you're getting

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changing your behaviors, then it's teaching them what I call

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six high performance, skills that like, like you just said,

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if I'd learned them at 50, I made it 20 instead of 50, what a

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difference that would have made. And then the fourth component is

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mentoring. And as you're talking, I'm like,

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I want you to mentor some of my students, you know, of course,

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this will be down the road, but you would be so good to do it.

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And I because I want to get successful people, once I get

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them through my class, I'm going to mentor them, and I want to

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stay in touch with them. But I need, you know, people have the

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right mindset and the right level of success to mentor them.

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It's just like, you know, this, just for our audience, we had a

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couple of years ago, you came to my class in Austin. And and you

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hired one of the students. Yeah, as a as an intern. Right. And

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she was so blown away by the experience of being around you

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that, you know, we need to replicate that. I guess it's the

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bottom line. Well, I, I love it. And it was so funny, I said, I

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say to everybody about that experience, and about doing

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think about with your, you know, the college program over the

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summer is, like, I have so much hope for the future when I meet

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with those young people, because they you know, these young

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adults who are just starting and are fulfilled with, you know,

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there's this. I don't know what the

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narrative out there around our young, young adults and the

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different generation, it's like, no, there are there are future

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and I'm very optimistic based on these wonderful young adults

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that are coming out of University of Texas. And yeah, I

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just been blown away by them. So that's something I would love to

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be involved in, you know that? Well, you know, our, the the

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motto at the University of Texas is What starts here changes the

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world. This has been the motto for like, forever, and they used

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to have when Walter Cronkite was alive, he went to the University

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of Texas, you can hear Walter Cronkite saying that. And so

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it's pretty cool. But but you know, on this thing with aging

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to this past year, I don't know how it happened. But we had all

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freshmen in our class, as opposed to

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primarily juniors in in, in the prior years, that Bill and I

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build the former Chancellor and I teach and what a difference,

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you know, those those freshmen, they're like deer in the

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headlights, you know, they're just glad to be away from mom

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and dad. And of course, my big push is around leadership itself

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and personal responsibility and, and for when you get out in the

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real world, they're not worried about the real world. They're

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four years away from the real world. And, you know, that's why

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it's sort of evolved for me to go. I want to teach

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basically, just seniors, maybe some juniors but primarily

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seniors, and I only want to teach athletes

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It's because the athletes are the highest achievers as a group

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on on campus. And this is what our 12 minute day methodology is

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clearly for high achievers. But you know, it's interesting that

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relative to age, you know where they are, when they're what 18

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versus when they are when they are 22. And as you'll see, when

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you turn 50 is going to be powerful. Because you're and you

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I, my prediction is, you won't think about it a lot until you

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hit it. But then over the next three months, you're going to

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reimagine your life. Promise and so that the lesson to our

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audience I think, is

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reimagine your life right now. Whatever your age are, don't

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wait for that decade. Birthday. Does you think that's lesson?

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Yeah, I think absolutely. That's the lesson. It's never, you

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know, now is the right time to reimagine your life. You know

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what I mean? Not tomorrow, not 10 years from now, don't wait

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for those big, you know, birthdays, now is the time and

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I'm doing a lot of that right now, in a reflection. Okay, what

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do I want this next season to look like? You know, so I'm,

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I've been kind of knowing that this has been coming up working

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on that a little bit and shaping that. And so yeah, you know, I

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got a suggestion for you. I just started doing this. Two weeks.

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And so I will see how it evolves. But it feels pretty

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good. Where, you know, every day I exercise, and I get on the

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treadmill at 530, and why it's the evening news. And after I

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get off of it, now, I go, and I sit down. And I've usually,

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maybe I've I've read the Wall Street Journal already. So I'm

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thinking about what's going on in the world. And I've just

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watched the news. And I'm, I'm sitting back, intentionally

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thinking, what am What am I observing in life? What am I

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observing in the world? What am I observing in my own life? What

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am I learning? How am I growing? And you know, it's really

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fascinating when you intentionally look at not just

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what is happening, but what am I learning? What's, what's the

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trends here? What do I think about my life? What What, what's

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reality telling me is, am I going in the right direction or

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not? Yo, I found it fascinating. I've done a lot of writing over

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the last two weeks around that because every, every Sunday, I

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try and write what I'm how I'm growing and learning, but it's a

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fascinating process. Yep, I am, I am all for it. I love that.

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And I'll give it a I'll let you know, I'll report back and let

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you know how it goes. Well, you know, we're gonna charge your,

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your path of turning 50 This will be good.

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You know, I see that, that doing our podcast is so interesting,

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because it it lets us both pontificate about life. Not that

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anybody cares. But nevertheless, you know, we have to, we have to

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take what's in our head and, and turn it into words to

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communicate with each other. And there's, there's power in that.

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But

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I think I think the takeaway to all this is

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aging is it the benefits are, are so great. And yes, some

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things decline physically, but, but I'm sort of like you, you

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know, I I feel sort of top of my game, both physically and

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mentally. And you know, the power of aging is you just get

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more confident you get you care less about what other people

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think. You also see that 98% Of all the stuff that goes on

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really doesn't matter. Right? You know, exactly. Yeah. And I

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know when I had 175 employees and I bet you're the same way.

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You know, I sort of learned that if you did the vast majority of

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the things the average it really didn't matter. Although your own

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pride wants to do them all. Well, the once you let go of

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that and just focus on what moves the needle. You know,

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that's that's what aging does for you is makes you forget all

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this stuff that's immaterial and just focus on the stuff that

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matters. It Real quick, John, I know we're wrapping it up but to

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that point, the other thing that aging is the way you spend your

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time, like the quality of my time the fact that it is more

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and more precious, right means you're spending it. At least I

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am have made a choice to spend it.

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More plugged in more present

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Even more, you know, so I'm squeezing, you know, as much as

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much joy. And I mean, that's one of the things that I analyze my

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day by when I'm reflecting on my day. It's like, did I laugh

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enough today? Because I gotta change that. That's joy is one

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of my, you know?

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Oh, I know, I know, you know, you gotta laugh. Yeah, man, I'll

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tell you. You know, I appreciate my relationship with my friend,

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Bobby,

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who I talked to every day, and I've known him for 40 years. And

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the beauty of him is it every day, we, we belly laugh, and is

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usually cutting each other down that creating the laughter. But

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I don't know. And I see is as I get older,

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how grateful I am for, you know, for my health for my friends,

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including you. But you know, my really close friends. And

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you know, and I was just watching this presentation on

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frontline PBS Frontline about retirement and how people are

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generally not prepared for retirement. And I'm so thankful

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that, that that's not me. And

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I just, you know, like you said at the start, as you get older,

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you just get more grateful and what a great way to live being

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more grateful. Yeah, yeah. And you don't have to, you know,

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think of it you don't have to get out you can start being

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grateful today. Start being grateful today. Everything today

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because this is the this is all we're promised. Right? Right.

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Well, you know, especially with our methodology, which is all

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about creating, creating immense intention and clarity about your

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life. Yes. Will you today, embrace being grateful? Embrace

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focusing on what moves the needle embrace, not worrying

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what other people think you know, and train your

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subconscious mind for all that. When you do, boy, watch what

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happens. Okay. Well, until next time, we'll see you.

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Thanks for listening today. If you've had your own aha moment

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from today's episode, send me or John an email. We'd love to

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share your epiphany with our audience. So email us at

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Kelly@thinkitbeit.com or John@thinkitibeit.com. In the