How Do You Answer “How Are You Doing”?

Kelly Hatfield: 00:00:04

We believe life is precious. This is it. We've

Kelly Hatfield: 00:00:08

got one shot at this. It's on us to live life to the fullest to

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maximize what we've been given and play the game of life at our

Kelly Hatfield: 00:00:16

full potential.

John Mitchell: 00:00:18

Are you living up to your potential? Are you

John Mitchell: 00:00:20

frustrated that despite your best intentions, you just can't

John Mitchell: 00:00:24

seem to make the changes needed to take things to the next

John Mitchell: 00:00:27

level. So you can impact your career relationships and health.

Kelly Hatfield: 00:00:32

If this is hitting home, you're in the

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right place. Our mission is to open the door to the exceptional

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life by showing you how to play the game of life at a higher

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level. So you're playing at your full potential, rather than at a

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fraction as most people do. We'll share the one thing that

Kelly Hatfield: 00:00:49

once we learned it, our lives were transformed. And once you

Kelly Hatfield: 00:00:53

learn it, watch what happens. Welcome to think at the at the

Kelly Hatfield: 00:01:00

podcast. I'm Kelly Hatfield.

John Mitchell: 00:01:02

Hey. And I'm John Michell. So Kelly, here's the

John Mitchell: 00:01:06

topic today. How do people respond? When they're asked? How

John Mitchell: 00:01:13

are you doing? Now? How when somebody says to you, Kelly, how

John Mitchell: 00:01:18

are you doing? How do you respond to that tip,

Kelly Hatfield: 00:01:20

I either I either say fantastic. Or I say

Kelly Hatfield: 00:01:24

outstanding, or it's something along those lines. i Oh, that's

Kelly Hatfield: 00:01:28

always my like, go to response.

John Mitchell: 00:01:31

And why do you do it that way? Is there any

John Mitchell: 00:01:34

thought to it really,

Kelly Hatfield: 00:01:35

there is? Because I think that for a

Kelly Hatfield: 00:01:39

couple of different there's a few different thoughts. But this

Kelly Hatfield: 00:01:42

really is an exchange of energy. Yeah. And it is aligned with

Kelly Hatfield: 00:01:46

when I think about my words, for how I'm going to show up. And

Kelly Hatfield: 00:01:52

one of those words is inspiring. You don't inspire people by when

Kelly Hatfield: 00:01:56

they ask you how you're doing. You're like fine.

Unknown: 00:01:59

Yeah. Yeah. Right.

Kelly Hatfield: 00:02:01

You know what I mean? So those two things aren't

Kelly Hatfield: 00:02:04

in alignment with one another. So immediately, I'm going to be

Kelly Hatfield: 00:02:07

outstanding or fantastic. Because one of my intentions is

Kelly Hatfield: 00:02:11

to inspire people. The other thing is for me, like, I need

Kelly Hatfield: 00:02:16

that kind of positive energy and to speak that out into the

Kelly Hatfield: 00:02:22

world. And so, yeah, that's that's why that's my response.

Kelly Hatfield: 00:02:27

It's kind of to twofold.

John Mitchell: 00:02:29

Right? Well, you know, I think you hit on what I

John Mitchell: 00:02:32

was thinking about that. It, you know, you're influencing the

John Mitchell: 00:02:37

other person, but you're also at the same time influencing you.

John Mitchell: 00:02:42

And, you know, when I, when I swipe asked me, I'm either, hey,

John Mitchell: 00:02:47

I'm living the dream, or I'm, hey, life is good. Or maybe it's

John Mitchell: 00:02:54

excellent. But I'm like, just like you that very positive

John Mitchell: 00:02:58

thing. And as we probably talked about in the prior episode, you

John Mitchell: 00:03:03

know, what you say out loud as 10 times the effect of what you

John Mitchell: 00:03:06

think. So when you say I'm excellent. You know, that has

John Mitchell: 00:03:12

1010 times the impact of you just thinking that you're

John Mitchell: 00:03:15

excellent. You know,

Kelly Hatfield: 00:03:17

well, it's really interesting. John, I,

Kelly Hatfield: 00:03:20

there is a influencer that I follow in His name is Chad,

Kelly Hatfield: 00:03:25

right. And he's a seal. He's a former Navy SEAL. Special teams

Kelly Hatfield: 00:03:31

not

John Mitchell: 00:03:31

actually a seal. Nope. He's a human.

Kelly Hatfield: 00:03:35

He's a human. Okay. And he's on the elite, you

Kelly Hatfield: 00:03:37

know, he was in the elite seal. And I can't remember which, you

Kelly Hatfield: 00:03:43

know, I'm not sure what they call them, but which group you

Kelly Hatfield: 00:03:45

belong to. But he was a Navy Seal and the elite Elite. And

Kelly Hatfield: 00:03:49

now that he is retired, he runs the ultra marathons, you know,

Kelly Hatfield: 00:03:55

the ones that go on for 100 miles and several days. And

Kelly Hatfield: 00:03:58

you've I mean, it's hard core stuff that he and he talked

Kelly Hatfield: 00:04:03

about this very topic, and it wasn't necessarily and he, he

Kelly Hatfield: 00:04:08

frames it for when people ask you how you respond, and his

Kelly Hatfield: 00:04:11

response is always I feel outstanding, but also while he

Kelly Hatfield: 00:04:15

is on that run, and on mile 52. He's saying to himself, I feel

Kelly Hatfield: 00:04:21

outstanding, I feel out because he knows through his experience

Kelly Hatfield: 00:04:27

that you know, when you are in SEAL training, you know, and

Kelly Hatfield: 00:04:31

where most of the people wash out, is from mindset, when

Kelly Hatfield: 00:04:35

they're saying to themselves, Oh, it's so cold. This is so

Kelly Hatfield: 00:04:38

hard. I feel awful. This is like, you know, that self talk,

Kelly Hatfield: 00:04:44

whether it's verbalized, or whether it's internally, what's

Kelly Hatfield: 00:04:47

going on with your head will determine what your results are.

Kelly Hatfield: 00:04:50

So when he's on those runs, and he's like, I feel outstanding,

Kelly Hatfield: 00:04:54

even though his shins are bloody and raw, you know, he fell on

Kelly Hatfield: 00:05:00

mile 48 in his, you know, road rash all over on the right is a

Kelly Hatfield: 00:05:04

saying I feel outstanding. And it's how he finishes the racist.

Kelly Hatfield: 00:05:08

He said the minute that your mind you switch your mind to

Kelly Hatfield: 00:05:11

say, Oh, this is terrible. This is your you've just lost. Right?

Kelly Hatfield: 00:05:17

You know and I've and so I take that and and you know to exactly

Kelly Hatfield: 00:05:22

what it is we're talking about. It's the same thing words matter

Kelly Hatfield: 00:05:25

what you say to yourself matters what you vocalize matters. And

Kelly Hatfield: 00:05:30

it's it's that exchange of energy. So anyway, wanted to

Kelly Hatfield: 00:05:33

share that story, because it's that when we brought this topic

Kelly Hatfield: 00:05:37

up today, that's the first thing that popped into my head was

Kelly Hatfield: 00:05:39

what Chad says,

John Mitchell: 00:05:40

right? You know, I a few years ago, many years

John Mitchell: 00:05:43

ago, I got to know Jimmie Johnson, the football coach for

John Mitchell: 00:05:46

the Cowboys. And he had this great line, he says let the mind

John Mitchell: 00:05:54

control the body rather than the body control the mind, which is

John Mitchell: 00:05:58

exactly what you're talking about. And the you know, the

John Mitchell: 00:06:04

other thing, I think that's interesting about this, how you

John Mitchell: 00:06:08

respond to how are you doing? The vast majority 98% of people

John Mitchell: 00:06:13

are just reacting with fine. I mean, I bet I mean, literally

John Mitchell: 00:06:19

the word fine. Is said 98% of the time, but observe with

John Mitchell: 00:06:26

people, and I say this to the audience observe to people that

John Mitchell: 00:06:32

you meet how they respond to it, do they really respond to your

John Mitchell: 00:06:35

question? Or is are they giving you a reflex? Answer? And, and I

John Mitchell: 00:06:41

know, as our audience starts to think about this, and the thing

John Mitchell: 00:06:46

I would suggest that they do is figure out a basically no, no

John Mitchell: 00:06:52

longer than a three word phrase in terms of, you know how you're

John Mitchell: 00:06:56

doing, you know, aka like you do it. You can say excellent, or

John Mitchell: 00:06:59

like I do live in the dream, or you know, life is good, you

John Mitchell: 00:07:04

know, whatever it is, but be intentional about it. And what

John Mitchell: 00:07:07

will happen is first few times you do it, you'll screw it up,

John Mitchell: 00:07:12

you'll you'll say I'm fine. And then you go Oh, damn. But it's

John Mitchell: 00:07:17

such a it's such a powerful thing. And and really like you

John Mitchell: 00:07:22

say you said it really well. This is an exchange of energy.

John Mitchell: 00:07:27

And and you're trying to influence not only not only that

John Mitchell: 00:07:31

other person with your exchange of energy, energy, but you're

John Mitchell: 00:07:35

influencing yourself with your own exchange of energy.

Kelly Hatfield: 00:07:39

And percent. Oh, sorry. Good, no good.

John Mitchell: 00:07:43

Well, the only other thing I was gonna say is,

John Mitchell: 00:07:45

you know, I had a, I did a zoom call with three people that are

John Mitchell: 00:07:50

doing, think it be it and it was interesting, because she had one

John Mitchell: 00:07:56

of them comes on I go, Well, how are you doing? He goes, Oh, I'm

John Mitchell: 00:08:00

doing great. I'm so looking forward to this, you know, all

John Mitchell: 00:08:03

feel good. And then another one comes on and, and basically says

John Mitchell: 00:08:07

the same thing says, Boy, you know, I I'm having a great day.

John Mitchell: 00:08:12

And I've been looking forward to this. And then the third one

John Mitchell: 00:08:14

goes fine. You know, just it's so simple. And but with the tone

John Mitchell: 00:08:21

that she she gave it, you're like, Whoa, there's a whole lot

John Mitchell: 00:08:25

there in that. And that's fine. I just found that that

John Mitchell: 00:08:30

interesting. What were you gonna say? I'm gonna go?

Kelly Hatfield: 00:08:33

Yeah, I was gonna say two things. So think

Kelly Hatfield: 00:08:36

about that, like, so. I'm going to think about it in terms of

Kelly Hatfield: 00:08:42

interviewing. You know, so when you're looking at candidates,

Kelly Hatfield: 00:08:46

when you're looking to add people to your team, you know,

Kelly Hatfield: 00:08:48

those are some of the things that you want to be looking for,

Kelly Hatfield: 00:08:51

you know, if they say that, like one of my rules is I only hire

Kelly Hatfield: 00:08:54

happy people. Yeah, yeah, I want I want up positive energy.

Kelly Hatfield: 00:08:59

Again, it's an exchange of energy, I can train anything.

Kelly Hatfield: 00:09:04

But But I can't train positivity and an optimistic outlook and I

Kelly Hatfield: 00:09:09

you know, that I can figure it out kind of attitude. And so

Kelly Hatfield: 00:09:12

I've looked for how somebody answers that question. And, you

Kelly Hatfield: 00:09:16

know, because it all kind of, you know, builds on it. But what

Kelly Hatfield: 00:09:21

I was gonna say to you was about, oh, shoot, I lost my

Kelly Hatfield: 00:09:28

train of thought. Dang, you know,

John Mitchell: 00:09:30

maybe I'll come to you. But guess what you said

John Mitchell: 00:09:33

that. That's interesting. I watched Darren Hardy last week,

John Mitchell: 00:09:38

and he's talking about going to I think it was a Marriott Hotel.

John Mitchell: 00:09:43

And he was going to talk with the CEO the next day and so he

John Mitchell: 00:09:47

he is so impressed by the how people are so on being friendly

John Mitchell: 00:09:53

and nice and everything. And he goes to the CEO the next day and

John Mitchell: 00:09:57

he goes, Man had a you train these people Well to

John Mitchell: 00:10:00

consistently be so nice. And he last the CEO last ago, what do

John Mitchell: 00:10:08

you mean train him, we hire him to be happy there, we only hire

John Mitchell: 00:10:12

happy people, we only hire friendly people. And I think

John Mitchell: 00:10:17

you've you, you get that? And you know now that that just as

John Mitchell: 00:10:21

an aside, I'm a big believer in hiring people with energy.

John Mitchell: 00:10:26

Because I saw in my past, I would sometimes hire people that

John Mitchell: 00:10:30

were good at what they did, but they had no energy. And like, I

John Mitchell: 00:10:35

suspect that's one of your key. Oh, yeah, Barbara is right.

Kelly Hatfield: 00:10:38

And it's all that, to me, it's all goes hand

Kelly Hatfield: 00:10:40

in hand. Like you can see somebody's energy when they say

Kelly Hatfield: 00:10:43

I'm great, thanks. Yeah, that I'm already starting to sense,

Kelly Hatfield: 00:10:47

you know, kind of where their energy is, where their attitude

Kelly Hatfield: 00:10:49

is, and where their energy is, you know, because into it's

Kelly Hatfield: 00:10:54

what's behind because you can say, I'm great. You know, or you

Kelly Hatfield: 00:10:58

can say, I'm great, thanks. You know, right there, you're saying

Kelly Hatfield: 00:11:01

the same thing. But you're saying it in a different way.

Kelly Hatfield: 00:11:04

And it expresses a different level of energy than the other?

Kelly Hatfield: 00:11:08

You know, so you're looking for those little nuances during that

Kelly Hatfield: 00:11:11

process, because it's really critical. But I remembered what

Kelly Hatfield: 00:11:14

I was going to say, John, I had a question for you. There are

Kelly Hatfield: 00:11:17

people who are listening. And I know because I get pushback on

Kelly Hatfield: 00:11:20

this is, what if I don't feel fantastic? Or outstanding? Or

Kelly Hatfield: 00:11:26

that kind of live in the dream? So I I'm not authentic? And

Kelly Hatfield: 00:11:32

don't answer that, you know, like, so what do you say to

Kelly Hatfield: 00:11:34

somebody who may be thinking that like, My life isn't great.

Kelly Hatfield: 00:11:37

It's not outstanding, I'm not living the dream? How should I

Kelly Hatfield: 00:11:41

answer that question? If none of those things apply to me,

John Mitchell: 00:11:44

I tell them, it is great, you're alive. Right?

John Mitchell: 00:11:47

You're healthy, right? You know, I, you know, I tell you, I've

John Mitchell: 00:11:51

been thinking about this a lot lately. You know, life is a

John Mitchell: 00:11:55

state of mind. And, and sure, there's going to be, you know,

John Mitchell: 00:12:00

days where you're not the top of your game, but that's not going

John Mitchell: 00:12:03

to stop me from answering, I'm living the dream, because I'm

John Mitchell: 00:12:07

freaking live in the dream every day. And, you know, our audience

John Mitchell: 00:12:11

is, is, let's say they choose to say, excellent. Well, they are

John Mitchell: 00:12:16

excellent overall. And if if it's not excellent, go fix it.

John Mitchell: 00:12:21

You know, go, you know, that doesn't mean that, that you're a

John Mitchell: 00:12:25

year from now gonna be living in a, you know, multimillion dollar

John Mitchell: 00:12:28

house. But but, you know, figure out intellectually, what you got

John Mitchell: 00:12:33

to do to make your life. Excellent. And start on that

John Mitchell: 00:12:37

path to making it excellent. And when people ask you how you're

John Mitchell: 00:12:41

doing, you go, excellent. Yeah, pretty

Kelly Hatfield: 00:12:43

simple. Pretty simple. And I think two other

Kelly Hatfield: 00:12:46

things to just add to that really quick, are, we talked

Kelly Hatfield: 00:12:49

about perspective, and our last episode, that a lot, yes, with.

Kelly Hatfield: 00:12:55

The other piece, is also gratitude. You know, just

Kelly Hatfield: 00:13:00

sitting down and thinking about all of the things the fact that

Kelly Hatfield: 00:13:02

you've got a roof over your head, the fact that you've got

Kelly Hatfield: 00:13:04

food in your refrigerator, the fact that you like, we begin to

Kelly Hatfield: 00:13:09

think about like you have all of if you do have all of your your

Kelly Hatfield: 00:13:12

senses, the ability to walk, like so, like start thinking

Kelly Hatfield: 00:13:15

about all of the things that we take for granted, to be grateful

Kelly Hatfield: 00:13:19

for those things, and then things that the next level of

Kelly Hatfield: 00:13:21

gratitude, but, and then you'll begin to go Oh, yeah, things are

Kelly Hatfield: 00:13:25

pretty excellent, you know, or, um, so there are a couple of

Kelly Hatfield: 00:13:28

things where you can shift your your mindset into that mode. But

Kelly Hatfield: 00:13:32

I know there are those people who are like, well, if I don't

Kelly Hatfield: 00:13:34

feel that way, I'm not going to say that. And I love Your

Kelly Hatfield: 00:13:37

responses will like figure out a way to feel that way.

John Mitchell: 00:13:40

Yeah, right. Yeah. No, I'm glad you mentioned

John Mitchell: 00:13:43

that perspective thing. And, you know, it's interesting, I went,

John Mitchell: 00:13:48

I guess it's Saturday, and we I go, and I have margaritas with

John Mitchell: 00:13:52

my couple of my old neighbors. And it's interesting. They have

John Mitchell: 00:13:57

gotten a divorce they were the first people I met when I came

John Mitchell: 00:14:00

to Austin and we were best friends and they lived two doors

John Mitchell: 00:14:05

down for like six years and every night it was a happy hour

John Mitchell: 00:14:10

you know, we were just and and but they had a horrible marriage

John Mitchell: 00:14:14

so that last year they get a divorce and so but I'm still

John Mitchell: 00:14:18

friends with both of them. So I go in and have margaritas with

John Mitchell: 00:14:21

both of them. And there's this girl that now has become Dylan's

John Mitchell: 00:14:24

really good friend and and you know she's very attractive girl

John Mitchell: 00:14:29

and of course I'm always trying to get people to find their

John Mitchell: 00:14:33

their perfect relationship and if they're in in a relationship

John Mitchell: 00:14:37

make it better if they're not in one, go find one. So that's, you

John Mitchell: 00:14:41

know, because I see how impactful being married to the

John Mitchell: 00:14:45

ginger has been for me, and I want everybody to have that but

John Mitchell: 00:14:48

anyways, I'm talking to her. And and I think this is true with a

John Mitchell: 00:14:52

lot of people. She's she's talking about how this happened

John Mitchell: 00:14:57

in the past and that's not good. Good. And he focused on on how

John Mitchell: 00:15:03

she was hurt in a prior relationship. And I'm like, I

John Mitchell: 00:15:07

didn't say this, but I'm like, stop it. You know, if if you had

John Mitchell: 00:15:11

a bad relationship or something happened in the past, yeah, I

John Mitchell: 00:15:15

spent about 20 minutes and think about it and resolve it. But I

John Mitchell: 00:15:20

wouldn't spend, you know, two years in therapy, I'd spent

John Mitchell: 00:15:23

about 20 minutes in therapy, and, and resolve it to the best

John Mitchell: 00:15:28

of your ability, and then let go of it Gee, so you think you're

John Mitchell: 00:15:32

gonna change the past?

Kelly Hatfield: 00:15:35

One? No, doesn't work that way. I love the

Kelly Hatfield: 00:15:37

analogy of the car. And looking at, you know, when you're

Kelly Hatfield: 00:15:41

driving your vehicle, if you're just looking in the rearview

Kelly Hatfield: 00:15:44

mirror, how much progress do you think you're gonna make, you're

Kelly Hatfield: 00:15:47

gonna crash pretty quick, you know, all the action is

Kelly Hatfield: 00:15:50

happening out in the wide lens that you've got in the

Kelly Hatfield: 00:15:53

windshield that you're looking through forward. But you do need

Kelly Hatfield: 00:15:56

to keep checking your back mirror real quick, you know, to

Kelly Hatfield: 00:15:59

keep it to take, you know, to learn to grow back kind of

Kelly Hatfield: 00:16:02

thing, but moving forward, looking through the windshield

Kelly Hatfield: 00:16:07

forward versus always looking in your rearview mirror and

Kelly Hatfield: 00:16:10

backwards, you know, right. So, anyway? Well, I

John Mitchell: 00:16:14

think I think the summary to this is that life is

John Mitchell: 00:16:18

a state of mind and how you answer that question that you're

John Mitchell: 00:16:22

probably asked every day, how are you doing? Think about how

John Mitchell: 00:16:26

you ideally want to answer that and condition yourself to answer

John Mitchell: 00:16:30

it the way you want to. And you know, one other thing, I have

John Mitchell: 00:16:33

two quick things. You know, at the intro of our podcast, it

John Mitchell: 00:16:37

talks about when we were when we learned that one thing, our

John Mitchell: 00:16:41

lives for transformed forever. every once awhile, I like to

John Mitchell: 00:16:45

articulate what that one thing is. And what it is, is we

John Mitchell: 00:16:49

learned that 95% of our daily actions are unconscious 95% of

John Mitchell: 00:16:54

our daily actions are unconscious. And and once we

John Mitchell: 00:16:57

learn that, and learn how to influence those 95% unconscious

John Mitchell: 00:17:02

daily actions, then our lives were transformed, because we

John Mitchell: 00:17:06

started playing the game of life at 100% instead of 10, to 20%.

John Mitchell: 00:17:11

And so, so just to put that out there for everybody to every

John Mitchell: 00:17:16

once awhile to understand what we're talking about when that

John Mitchell: 00:17:19

when that comes on. But the other thing I was gonna say is,

John Mitchell: 00:17:23

you know, a couple of episodes ago, I implored our audience to

John Mitchell: 00:17:27

reach out and send us an email just just to let us know that

John Mitchell: 00:17:33

you're there. And surprisingly, I had, you know, I had a

John Mitchell: 00:17:38

response and so And like I told you, our podcast person that

John Mitchell: 00:17:43

helps us with this says that we got a lot of people listening

John Mitchell: 00:17:47

way more than I thought. And, and but I see that we live in

John Mitchell: 00:17:53

such a shallow thinking, existence today because of this

John Mitchell: 00:17:59

flip through culture that people just they don't connect they if

John Mitchell: 00:18:05

they're maybe listening to podcasts, they don't want to

John Mitchell: 00:18:08

connect. And but I you know, I think it's I think it's cool

John Mitchell: 00:18:13

even I am God knows we're not trying to sell anybody, anything

John Mitchell: 00:18:17

we really aren't. So but I there's there's something to it

John Mitchell: 00:18:21

that if you're listening to this, really send Kelly or me an

John Mitchell: 00:18:27

email at John at think via.com or Kelly at think via.com And

John Mitchell: 00:18:32

just say hi. And because it reinforces what we're doing,

John Mitchell: 00:18:37

we'd like to get it and we'll probably ask you what you you do

John Mitchell: 00:18:41

and again, not to sell you and not to take you down some

John Mitchell: 00:18:45

funnel, you know, just know funnel, we funnel. This is a no

John Mitchell: 00:18:50

funnel zone. But I encourage you to do that. So until next time,

John Mitchell: 00:18:56

we'll say

Kelly Hatfield: 00:19:00

thanks for listening today. If you've had

Kelly Hatfield: 00:19:03

your own aha moment from today's episode, send me or John an

Kelly Hatfield: 00:19:08

email. We'd love to share your epiphany with our audience. So

Kelly Hatfield: 00:19:13

email us at Kelly@thinkitbeit.com or

Kelly Hatfield: 00:19:15

John@thinkitbeit.com. In the meantime, live the exceptional life