Megan discusses the difficulties of having her job eliminated and her courageous choice to start over as a podcaster and full time coach.
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Megan Conner is the mother of 6 spectacular humans and a breaker of generational trauma cycles. She has spent the last 10 years overcoming the effects of child SA and other abusive relationships and cycles. She is the author of I Walked Through Fire to Get Here, which was written to give support and hope to other survivors. Megan is passionate about helping people make small changes that make their lives better every day.
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00:00:00.043 --> 00:00:01.183
Hello, beautiful humans.
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Welcome to the Midlife Revolution.
00:00:03.224 --> 00:00:04.685
I'm your host, Megan Conner.
00:00:05.525 --> 00:00:07.406
Thank you so much for being here tonight.
00:00:07.526 --> 00:00:09.407
I'm so glad to be back with you again.
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Thank you so much for being
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patient with me.
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we're going to talk
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about a big announcement
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that I have for going forward.
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But first, I have a story to tell you.
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I
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We're going to get in our
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magic time machine and
00:00:22.919 --> 00:00:24.301
we're going to go back to,
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Let's go back to 2006.
00:00:25.884 --> 00:00:29.066
In 2006,
00:00:29.066 --> 00:00:31.388
I started my master's degree at
00:00:31.448 --> 00:00:32.990
Texas State University in
00:00:33.070 --> 00:00:35.532
vocal performance with the
00:00:35.652 --> 00:00:38.515
goal of singing opera as a career.
00:00:39.501 --> 00:00:43.822
And when I first started at Texas state,
00:00:44.341 --> 00:00:46.201
there were people in the area who were
00:00:46.241 --> 00:00:47.942
looking for voice teachers.
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And I don't know how many of
00:00:49.542 --> 00:00:52.643
you know about how things are in Texas,
00:00:52.663 --> 00:00:53.303
but in Texas,
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we do everything more than anybody else.
00:00:57.024 --> 00:00:57.784
For some reason,
00:00:58.345 --> 00:00:59.505
everything's bigger in Texas.
00:00:59.585 --> 00:01:00.087
everything's a
00:01:00.147 --> 00:01:01.289
competition anyway.
00:01:01.289 --> 00:01:03.251
so in 2006,
00:01:03.251 --> 00:01:04.931
I was getting my master's
00:01:04.951 --> 00:01:05.872
degree at Texas state
00:01:05.912 --> 00:01:08.653
university and people in the area,
00:01:08.753 --> 00:01:09.594
high school teachers in the
00:01:09.674 --> 00:01:11.115
area were looking for voice
00:01:11.155 --> 00:01:12.675
teachers to help their
00:01:12.715 --> 00:01:14.776
students prepare for competitions.
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And I decided to call up the
00:01:17.598 --> 00:01:18.458
high school that was just
00:01:18.518 --> 00:01:19.919
very close to my house and
00:01:20.019 --> 00:01:21.540
find out if they needed a voice teacher.
00:01:22.331 --> 00:01:23.232
Now the high school that's
00:01:23.252 --> 00:01:26.374
close to my house was built in 1978.
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And for almost 30 years,
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they had one choir director
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the entire time.
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And I called this gentleman
00:01:33.939 --> 00:01:34.839
and asked him if they were
00:01:34.879 --> 00:01:36.200
looking for a voice teacher
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to help their students
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prepare for competition.
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And he said, yes, they were.
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And so he interviewed me and
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I decided to come in and
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start teaching voice
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lessons to high school students.
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And I really enjoyed it.
00:01:49.249 --> 00:01:50.050
I loved it so much.
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When I graduated from Texas
00:01:52.626 --> 00:01:54.047
State with my master's degree,
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I taught voice lessons all
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the way through those couple of years.
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And I also taught voice
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lessons at the middle
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school where the middle
00:02:02.414 --> 00:02:03.395
school students would leave
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that middle school and go
00:02:04.356 --> 00:02:05.016
to the high school.
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And so I was teaching sixth,
00:02:06.778 --> 00:02:07.959
seventh and eighth graders
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that were then gonna go to
00:02:09.360 --> 00:02:10.141
the high school that I was
00:02:10.201 --> 00:02:13.063
teaching nine through 12.
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And so a lot of those students
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came to me in sixth grade
00:02:16.195 --> 00:02:17.175
and stayed with me all the
00:02:17.195 --> 00:02:17.916
way through high school,
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and it was really wonderful.
00:02:20.036 --> 00:02:21.416
It was one of my favorite jobs ever.
00:02:21.696 --> 00:02:22.857
I really loved connecting
00:02:22.897 --> 00:02:23.977
individually with students
00:02:24.257 --> 00:02:25.537
and teaching voice lessons,
00:02:25.737 --> 00:02:27.858
and that was such a fun part of my life.
00:02:29.438 --> 00:02:31.738
After I graduated with my master's degree,
00:02:32.398 --> 00:02:33.879
I went on to a couple of
00:02:34.019 --> 00:02:35.859
opera apprenticeship programs,
00:02:36.199 --> 00:02:39.000
and I sang professionally
00:02:39.080 --> 00:02:40.120
for a couple of years.
00:02:41.314 --> 00:02:44.055
And when I started doing
00:02:44.135 --> 00:02:45.616
auditions for opera
00:02:45.656 --> 00:02:46.376
companies that were a
00:02:46.416 --> 00:02:47.756
little farther away from home,
00:02:48.316 --> 00:02:49.697
things started to get more
00:02:49.937 --> 00:02:51.278
and more tense between me
00:02:51.558 --> 00:02:52.858
and my spouse at the time
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who didn't want me to be
00:02:54.199 --> 00:02:55.379
away from home because we
00:02:55.439 --> 00:02:56.819
had at the time five young
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children and managing them
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was really difficult, understandably.
00:03:01.714 --> 00:03:03.254
He wanted me to be home all the time,
00:03:03.454 --> 00:03:05.515
but if I wanted to further
00:03:05.555 --> 00:03:06.415
my opera career,
00:03:06.935 --> 00:03:08.776
I needed to be away from home sometimes.
00:03:09.360 --> 00:03:10.381
Three or four times a year,
00:03:10.441 --> 00:03:11.683
I would need to be away for
00:03:11.723 --> 00:03:13.304
a week or two or three
00:03:13.344 --> 00:03:15.447
weekends while I did performing.
00:03:16.308 --> 00:03:17.088
But it wasn't super
00:03:17.129 --> 00:03:18.830
conducive to my home life
00:03:19.011 --> 00:03:19.750
and to my marriage.
00:03:19.750 --> 00:03:19.792
end,
00:03:19.932 --> 00:03:21.333
after the end of a couple of seasons,
00:03:21.634 --> 00:03:22.595
I made the difficult
00:03:22.635 --> 00:03:24.136
decision to stop performing
00:03:24.196 --> 00:03:25.718
professionally and get my
00:03:25.758 --> 00:03:27.340
teaching certification instead.
00:03:28.240 --> 00:03:30.122
and I went to teach high school choir.
00:03:30.843 --> 00:03:32.585
So in 2009,
00:03:32.585 --> 00:03:34.287
I went to one of the inner city
00:03:34.327 --> 00:03:35.649
schools here in San Antonio
00:03:35.749 --> 00:03:37.311
and I taught choir for the first time.
00:03:38.092 --> 00:03:39.353
And it was wonderful and
00:03:39.413 --> 00:03:40.534
also kind of terrible
00:03:40.595 --> 00:03:42.497
because it was an inner
00:03:42.537 --> 00:03:45.020
city Title I school and the
00:03:45.060 --> 00:03:46.782
students there had a lot of struggles
00:03:47.952 --> 00:03:49.473
that were not related to school.
00:03:49.813 --> 00:03:50.974
And I didn't really feel
00:03:51.054 --> 00:03:52.854
comfortable teaching kids
00:03:52.934 --> 00:03:54.095
to sing when they were
00:03:54.155 --> 00:03:55.576
worried about whether or
00:03:55.616 --> 00:03:56.276
not they were going to have
00:03:56.316 --> 00:03:57.597
dinner when they got home
00:03:57.917 --> 00:03:58.897
or when they were worried
00:03:58.937 --> 00:04:00.158
about the family dynamics
00:04:00.198 --> 00:04:01.479
being abusive or when they
00:04:01.519 --> 00:04:03.060
were worried about having a
00:04:03.100 --> 00:04:03.880
relationship with a
00:04:03.920 --> 00:04:05.061
boyfriend that was abusive.
00:04:05.721 --> 00:04:07.542
So what I like to say about
00:04:07.582 --> 00:04:09.103
that time is that I taught
00:04:09.143 --> 00:04:10.143
life skills and then
00:04:10.183 --> 00:04:11.704
occasionally we also got to sing.
00:04:13.605 --> 00:04:14.885
It was a really interesting time,
00:04:14.925 --> 00:04:15.986
but I really enjoyed
00:04:16.399 --> 00:04:17.539
connecting with the students.
00:04:17.599 --> 00:04:18.280
And that was one of the
00:04:18.320 --> 00:04:20.140
things that I loved and cherish the most.
00:04:20.338 --> 00:04:21.578
Fast forward a little while,
00:04:21.598 --> 00:04:21.786
and
00:04:21.787 --> 00:04:23.047
I went to a different school.
00:04:23.927 --> 00:04:25.448
And then I decided to go
00:04:25.488 --> 00:04:26.628
back to the original high
00:04:26.668 --> 00:04:27.568
school that I was at and
00:04:27.608 --> 00:04:28.489
teach voice lessons.
00:04:28.629 --> 00:04:29.489
And while I was there,
00:04:29.509 --> 00:04:31.747
they had hired another voice teacher,
00:04:31.767 --> 00:04:33.167
whose name was Samuel.
00:04:34.488 --> 00:04:34.648
And
00:04:35.401 --> 00:04:36.522
I asked him if he would be
00:04:36.542 --> 00:04:38.303
willing to teach voice lessons to my son,
00:04:38.343 --> 00:04:39.544
who is a freshman at the
00:04:39.604 --> 00:04:40.585
school at the time.
00:04:40.665 --> 00:04:41.626
So that was the first time
00:04:41.666 --> 00:04:43.067
that I met my partner, Samuel.
00:04:44.048 --> 00:04:45.329
We were both married at the time.
00:04:45.385 --> 00:04:46.388
but what I loved about
00:04:46.448 --> 00:04:47.749
him was that he was a really,
00:04:47.829 --> 00:04:49.310
really excellent influence
00:04:49.390 --> 00:04:50.211
on my oldest son.
00:04:51.031 --> 00:04:52.773
He connected so well with the students.
00:04:52.913 --> 00:04:54.134
And I really loved and
00:04:54.174 --> 00:04:55.915
agreed with all of the ways
00:04:56.015 --> 00:04:57.136
that he taught students.
00:04:58.621 --> 00:05:00.622
singing because he taught it
00:05:00.682 --> 00:05:01.943
as a comprehensive thing.
00:05:02.524 --> 00:05:02.724
You know,
00:05:02.764 --> 00:05:04.245
when you teach somebody to play
00:05:04.285 --> 00:05:06.206
the piano or the bassoon or
00:05:06.246 --> 00:05:08.127
the flute or the violin or
00:05:08.247 --> 00:05:08.928
something like that,
00:05:09.788 --> 00:05:10.689
you have an instrument
00:05:10.709 --> 00:05:11.629
that's separate from you.
00:05:11.730 --> 00:05:14.431
But when you are teaching voice lessons,
00:05:14.551 --> 00:05:15.972
your body is your instrument.
00:05:16.613 --> 00:05:18.034
And so it's really important
00:05:18.134 --> 00:05:19.234
to connect with the
00:05:19.274 --> 00:05:20.435
students in a way that
00:05:20.455 --> 00:05:21.516
makes them feel comfortable
00:05:21.576 --> 00:05:23.137
enough to be vulnerable enough
00:05:23.635 --> 00:05:25.376
to use their body as an instrument.
00:05:26.056 --> 00:05:26.716
And it's a really
00:05:26.816 --> 00:05:28.957
interesting thing to do
00:05:28.977 --> 00:05:30.298
that on the high school
00:05:30.338 --> 00:05:31.559
level when kids are just
00:05:32.119 --> 00:05:34.140
learning to understand how
00:05:34.220 --> 00:05:35.560
to manage all of those things.
00:05:36.323 --> 00:05:38.344
So I met Samuel that year.
00:05:38.364 --> 00:05:40.064
We were both teaching voice lessons.
00:05:40.264 --> 00:05:41.285
And then the next year,
00:05:42.640 --> 00:05:44.361
the choir director at that high school,
00:05:44.401 --> 00:05:45.662
which was the original high
00:05:45.702 --> 00:05:47.043
school from 1978,
00:05:47.043 --> 00:05:49.224
where there was only one choir director.
00:05:49.724 --> 00:05:50.605
They got a new choir
00:05:50.645 --> 00:05:52.506
director the first year
00:05:52.526 --> 00:05:53.847
that I taught voice lessons there.
00:05:54.547 --> 00:05:56.162
And then at this time,
00:05:56.334 --> 00:05:58.796
the school decided to add
00:05:59.287 --> 00:06:01.328
an assistant director position.
00:06:01.989 --> 00:06:03.450
And I got hired to be the
00:06:03.470 --> 00:06:04.310
assistant director.
00:06:05.011 --> 00:06:08.573
So it was the head director and then me,
00:06:09.211 --> 00:06:10.272
And then Samuel was teaching
00:06:10.292 --> 00:06:11.373
voice lessons with us there.
00:06:12.413 --> 00:06:13.995
And so I was the assistant
00:06:14.035 --> 00:06:15.396
director for about three years.
00:06:16.176 --> 00:06:17.437
And then the head director
00:06:17.477 --> 00:06:19.818
got promoted to the central
00:06:19.898 --> 00:06:22.540
office and I got promoted
00:06:22.600 --> 00:06:24.061
to be the head director and
00:06:24.101 --> 00:06:26.123
they asked me to hire an
00:06:26.163 --> 00:06:26.964
assistant director.
00:06:27.184 --> 00:06:28.445
And when I had that opportunity,
00:06:28.485 --> 00:06:30.506
there was only one person that I wanted.
00:06:31.267 --> 00:06:31.947
It was Samuel.
00:06:32.127 --> 00:06:33.388
I loved how he connected
00:06:33.428 --> 00:06:34.089
with the students.
00:06:34.568 --> 00:06:35.489
I loved the way that he
00:06:35.529 --> 00:06:37.290
taught voice lessons and he
00:06:37.330 --> 00:06:38.391
and I had an excellent
00:06:38.431 --> 00:06:41.653
synergy where when I was having a bad day,
00:06:41.893 --> 00:06:43.034
he would show up with extra
00:06:43.094 --> 00:06:44.575
energy and vice versa.
00:06:44.675 --> 00:06:45.596
And we did really well in
00:06:45.616 --> 00:06:46.476
the classroom together.
00:06:46.540 --> 00:06:47.587
during this time,
00:06:47.827 --> 00:06:48.427
when I was the head
00:06:48.447 --> 00:06:49.949
director and Samuel was my
00:06:49.989 --> 00:06:50.789
assistant director,
00:06:51.269 --> 00:06:52.750
we had a booster club.
00:06:53.211 --> 00:06:54.212
It was a group of parents
00:06:54.292 --> 00:06:55.572
who just wanted to donate
00:06:55.592 --> 00:06:56.913
their time and energy to
00:06:56.953 --> 00:06:58.014
the choir program because
00:06:58.455 --> 00:06:59.415
their children were part of
00:06:59.435 --> 00:07:01.757
the program and they loved
00:07:02.273 --> 00:07:02.794
the program,
00:07:02.834 --> 00:07:03.797
they wanted to do everything
00:07:03.837 --> 00:07:04.719
they could to support it.
00:07:04.799 --> 00:07:06.042
So once a month I would meet
00:07:06.082 --> 00:07:07.065
with this group of parents.
00:07:07.663 --> 00:07:08.483
And they would basically
00:07:08.523 --> 00:07:09.824
just ask me what I needed
00:07:10.344 --> 00:07:11.184
and I would tell them what
00:07:11.224 --> 00:07:12.544
I needed and they would get it for me,
00:07:12.624 --> 00:07:13.885
whether it was volunteers
00:07:14.085 --> 00:07:15.205
or fundraising or
00:07:15.285 --> 00:07:17.046
chaperones or whatever it was,
00:07:17.786 --> 00:07:18.966
they were totally committed
00:07:19.006 --> 00:07:19.967
to making sure that I had
00:07:20.047 --> 00:07:21.127
everything that I needed to
00:07:21.167 --> 00:07:22.547
be successful in the program.
00:07:22.567 --> 00:07:23.608
And I loved it so much.
00:07:24.228 --> 00:07:25.448
I became really close with
00:07:25.488 --> 00:07:26.969
that group of booster moms.
00:07:27.829 --> 00:07:29.829
And it just so happened that
00:07:29.989 --> 00:07:32.070
all of their students were
00:07:32.150 --> 00:07:33.691
seniors the year that
00:07:33.731 --> 00:07:35.111
Samuel and I were teaching together.
00:07:36.116 --> 00:07:38.258
And we just sort of bonded
00:07:38.318 --> 00:07:39.379
over the course of that year.
00:07:39.439 --> 00:07:40.721
Every time we had a concert,
00:07:41.321 --> 00:07:43.403
the booster parents and Samuel and I,
00:07:43.764 --> 00:07:44.865
we would meet for dinner
00:07:45.025 --> 00:07:46.607
afterwards and the students
00:07:46.627 --> 00:07:47.628
would also meet for dinner,
00:07:47.648 --> 00:07:48.488
but it would be the parents
00:07:48.548 --> 00:07:50.010
on one side of the pizza restaurant,
00:07:50.130 --> 00:07:51.411
the students on the other side,
00:07:52.092 --> 00:07:52.793
and we would just get
00:07:52.833 --> 00:07:53.714
together and hang out.
00:07:53.774 --> 00:07:54.654
So that was, you know,
00:07:54.695 --> 00:07:55.495
several times a year,
00:07:55.575 --> 00:07:56.296
every time there was a
00:07:56.356 --> 00:07:57.677
concert or a competition
00:07:58.278 --> 00:07:59.339
and we got to be really,
00:07:59.379 --> 00:08:00.060
really good friends.
00:08:01.358 --> 00:08:03.999
And at the end of that year, actually,
00:08:05.120 --> 00:08:06.100
we went to the choir
00:08:06.140 --> 00:08:07.721
competition that year and
00:08:08.101 --> 00:08:11.063
Samuel and I collaborated
00:08:11.183 --> 00:08:12.464
so well and the students
00:08:12.484 --> 00:08:13.924
were so receptive to what
00:08:13.964 --> 00:08:15.845
we were doing that we
00:08:15.885 --> 00:08:17.066
brought home more trophies
00:08:17.126 --> 00:08:17.986
than the school had ever
00:08:18.046 --> 00:08:19.387
seen at that competition.
00:08:19.487 --> 00:08:21.028
And it was like this amazing high.
00:08:21.068 --> 00:08:23.289
We had worked so hard to get
00:08:23.329 --> 00:08:24.069
all of that done and the
00:08:24.129 --> 00:08:25.570
students were so excited.
00:08:26.430 --> 00:08:27.671
And the very next day,
00:08:28.246 --> 00:08:29.847
the principal told us that
00:08:30.128 --> 00:08:32.349
Samuel's position was being eliminated,
00:08:33.030 --> 00:08:33.951
that I was no longer going
00:08:33.971 --> 00:08:35.352
to have an assistant director.
00:08:37.393 --> 00:08:38.594
And it was so hard to go
00:08:38.654 --> 00:08:40.356
from that euphoric high of
00:08:40.736 --> 00:08:43.638
all of that hard work being
00:08:43.698 --> 00:08:46.520
rewarded to going to the
00:08:46.600 --> 00:08:48.382
extreme low of knowing that
00:08:48.462 --> 00:08:49.503
Samuel would not be part of
00:08:49.523 --> 00:08:51.004
the team the coming year.
00:08:52.006 --> 00:08:52.887
And not only that,
00:08:53.207 --> 00:08:54.107
but I wouldn't have an
00:08:54.147 --> 00:08:55.388
assistant director anymore.
00:08:55.548 --> 00:08:57.509
So all of the responsibility
00:08:57.609 --> 00:08:58.750
of the entire program was
00:08:58.770 --> 00:08:59.731
now going to fall to me.
00:08:59.938 --> 00:09:00.396
you know,
00:09:00.416 --> 00:09:01.377
that's just the way it goes
00:09:01.437 --> 00:09:02.378
in education when they
00:09:02.398 --> 00:09:03.598
eliminate a position and
00:09:03.638 --> 00:09:04.659
someone else takes over the
00:09:04.699 --> 00:09:05.459
responsibilities,
00:09:05.499 --> 00:09:06.640
there's no pay increase.
00:09:07.087 --> 00:09:08.328
you have to give more hours
00:09:08.388 --> 00:09:09.989
and more time to keep the
00:09:10.029 --> 00:09:11.490
program the same for the students.
00:09:12.790 --> 00:09:13.691
I could have cut.
00:09:13.794 --> 00:09:15.407
programs, social activities,
00:09:15.527 --> 00:09:16.848
competitions, and things like that.
00:09:16.888 --> 00:09:17.769
But I just didn't feel like
00:09:17.809 --> 00:09:19.030
that was fair to the students.
00:09:19.570 --> 00:09:20.851
And at the time I was still
00:09:20.991 --> 00:09:22.753
very much in people pleaser mode.
00:09:23.313 --> 00:09:24.274
And so I said, sure,
00:09:24.374 --> 00:09:25.315
I'll take on that extra
00:09:25.355 --> 00:09:27.337
responsibility because it's
00:09:27.377 --> 00:09:28.478
what's best for the students.
00:09:28.778 --> 00:09:29.538
Nevermind me.
00:09:29.619 --> 00:09:30.399
Don't worry about me.
00:09:30.459 --> 00:09:31.160
I'll figure it out.
00:09:31.556 --> 00:09:32.416
I would do things very
00:09:32.476 --> 00:09:33.977
differently now if it was
00:09:34.317 --> 00:09:35.277
the same situation.
00:09:35.977 --> 00:09:36.677
But I digress.
00:09:37.337 --> 00:09:39.238
Anyway, Samuel was excellent.
00:09:39.398 --> 00:09:41.318
And he decided instead of
00:09:41.398 --> 00:09:42.598
taking a position somewhere
00:09:42.658 --> 00:09:44.959
else in the district as a choir teacher,
00:09:45.559 --> 00:09:47.659
he decided to stay on as a voice teacher.
00:09:48.780 --> 00:09:49.820
And because he loved those
00:09:49.860 --> 00:09:50.820
kids and he wanted to
00:09:50.880 --> 00:09:51.940
continue to stay with them.
00:09:52.365 --> 00:09:53.405
That was a really excellent
00:09:53.425 --> 00:09:54.326
decision that he made.
00:09:54.406 --> 00:09:55.166
And by this time,
00:09:55.282 --> 00:09:56.228
I had six children.
00:09:56.228 --> 00:09:57.994
also that was the year
00:09:58.234 --> 00:10:00.055
that my husband and I separated.
00:10:00.996 --> 00:10:04.217
So it was a difficult time for everybody.
00:10:04.780 --> 00:10:07.561
there was a lot going on and to have
00:10:07.621 --> 00:10:10.002
that blow of having the
00:10:10.262 --> 00:10:11.963
assistant director taken away, um, at,
00:10:12.581 --> 00:10:14.992
at such a critical time in my life when,
00:10:14.994 --> 00:10:17.035
I separated from my husband in
00:10:17.655 --> 00:10:18.896
February of that year.
00:10:19.896 --> 00:10:21.637
And almost immediately after
00:10:21.697 --> 00:10:22.577
our separation,
00:10:23.838 --> 00:10:25.178
Samuel and I took the
00:10:25.198 --> 00:10:27.359
students on a trip to New
00:10:27.399 --> 00:10:29.620
York city was planned way in advance.
00:10:30.370 --> 00:10:32.491
And my former spouse had
00:10:32.531 --> 00:10:33.472
already planned to come.
00:10:33.592 --> 00:10:35.112
His ticket was bought, all of that stuff.
00:10:35.132 --> 00:10:36.573
So he came on that trip with us,
00:10:36.874 --> 00:10:37.916
weeks separated.
00:10:38.596 --> 00:10:39.777
And so that was super awkward.
00:10:39.817 --> 00:10:41.277
But it was just part of life.
00:10:41.337 --> 00:10:42.818
It was what was going on at the time.
00:10:42.838 --> 00:10:44.039
And it was just a difficult
00:10:44.079 --> 00:10:44.819
time for everybody.
00:10:44.899 --> 00:10:45.346
So
00:10:45.546 --> 00:10:46.526
What I wanted to come back
00:10:46.586 --> 00:10:48.927
to is that the group of
00:10:48.987 --> 00:10:50.828
booster parents and Samuel
00:10:50.848 --> 00:10:52.808
and his wife and I just all
00:10:52.848 --> 00:10:53.608
remained friends.
00:10:53.809 --> 00:10:55.129
And we continued to get
00:10:55.169 --> 00:10:56.349
together every couple of
00:10:56.369 --> 00:10:57.468
months and have dinner
00:10:57.543 --> 00:10:58.644
talk about their kids and
00:10:58.684 --> 00:10:59.964
their experience in the program.
00:11:00.004 --> 00:11:01.044
And we just became really,
00:11:01.084 --> 00:11:01.805
really good friends.
00:11:02.265 --> 00:11:03.125
We were very close.
00:11:03.319 --> 00:11:04.640
Samuel continued to teach voice
00:11:04.680 --> 00:11:07.467
lessons until pretty
00:11:07.507 --> 00:11:08.608
close to the fall of 2019,
00:11:08.608 --> 00:11:10.730
right before the pandemic started.
00:11:11.651 --> 00:11:12.872
And I was starting to become
00:11:12.933 --> 00:11:14.314
pretty disillusioned with
00:11:14.334 --> 00:11:16.416
the way things were going school-wise.
00:11:17.337 --> 00:11:19.580
With all of the extra demands on my time,
00:11:20.185 --> 00:11:21.246
and not being able to really
00:11:21.286 --> 00:11:23.008
show up for my kids the way I wanted to,
00:11:23.028 --> 00:11:24.630
and also being a single mom
00:11:25.191 --> 00:11:27.634
and recognizing that my
00:11:28.074 --> 00:11:29.756
children were going without
00:11:30.277 --> 00:11:31.178
because I wasn't getting
00:11:31.218 --> 00:11:32.639
paid very much as a teacher.
00:11:33.821 --> 00:11:35.082
All of these things sort of
00:11:35.122 --> 00:11:36.844
started to mix together in my mind and
00:11:37.733 --> 00:11:39.214
add to that school shootings
00:11:39.394 --> 00:11:40.775
and add to that additional
00:11:40.835 --> 00:11:42.956
training that we had to undergo.
00:11:43.276 --> 00:11:44.517
And I was feeling really,
00:11:44.557 --> 00:11:45.718
really pressured with all
00:11:45.738 --> 00:11:47.059
of this additional time.
00:11:47.079 --> 00:11:49.960
And I started the 2019 school year.
00:11:50.661 --> 00:11:51.601
One of the very first
00:11:51.661 --> 00:11:52.682
meetings that I had when I
00:11:52.722 --> 00:11:53.923
came back from summer break
00:11:53.983 --> 00:11:55.129
that year
00:11:55.340 --> 00:11:56.260
they were implementing a
00:11:56.300 --> 00:11:57.261
new tutoring program
00:11:58.272 --> 00:12:00.474
that required us as teachers
00:12:00.914 --> 00:12:02.315
to flag any students who
00:12:02.375 --> 00:12:03.316
are failing our class.
00:12:04.237 --> 00:12:06.138
And there was an extra time
00:12:06.198 --> 00:12:07.679
period that took a little
00:12:07.699 --> 00:12:08.900
bit of time away from lunch
00:12:09.060 --> 00:12:10.081
and a little bit of time
00:12:10.141 --> 00:12:10.982
away from all of the
00:12:11.062 --> 00:12:12.883
afternoon classes so that
00:12:12.923 --> 00:12:13.984
if a student was failing
00:12:14.024 --> 00:12:14.824
and they got flagged,
00:12:14.884 --> 00:12:15.565
they could go to the
00:12:15.625 --> 00:12:16.706
teacher who flagged them
00:12:16.806 --> 00:12:18.507
and get extra help to try
00:12:18.547 --> 00:12:19.528
and make up for the failing.
00:12:20.012 --> 00:12:22.753
Now, that seems like a great option.
00:12:22.793 --> 00:12:24.013
It seems like a great idea
00:12:24.073 --> 00:12:25.594
to help students who are failing.
00:12:26.434 --> 00:12:27.475
But what really ended up
00:12:27.535 --> 00:12:30.416
happening is that we had to
00:12:30.456 --> 00:12:31.656
spend a lot of extra time
00:12:31.836 --> 00:12:33.337
monitoring students' grades
00:12:34.037 --> 00:12:35.517
and taking the time to go
00:12:35.577 --> 00:12:36.818
into the system and flag
00:12:36.858 --> 00:12:37.978
them on the appropriate day
00:12:37.998 --> 00:12:39.979
because it wasn't just every day.
00:12:40.039 --> 00:12:41.479
It was just only on Tuesday
00:12:41.499 --> 00:12:43.380
and Thursday and then
00:12:43.560 --> 00:12:44.640
sometimes on Friday.
00:12:46.545 --> 00:12:47.545
then the teachers who are
00:12:47.605 --> 00:12:48.766
having to do interventions
00:12:48.826 --> 00:12:50.186
with the students had to
00:12:50.246 --> 00:12:51.866
prepare extra material for
00:12:51.906 --> 00:12:53.147
those intervention times so
00:12:53.187 --> 00:12:54.827
that they could catch up on
00:12:54.867 --> 00:12:56.108
whatever was happening with them.
00:12:57.108 --> 00:12:58.568
And so it ended up being a
00:12:58.668 --> 00:13:00.329
huge extra burden on the
00:13:00.369 --> 00:13:01.629
teachers in a drain of time.
00:13:02.249 --> 00:13:03.750
And I remember when they
00:13:03.790 --> 00:13:05.210
first introduced this program,
00:13:06.286 --> 00:13:07.307
there was kind of an open
00:13:07.347 --> 00:13:08.908
Q&A where the teachers got
00:13:08.948 --> 00:13:09.769
to ask questions.
00:13:09.829 --> 00:13:10.909
And I remember one teacher
00:13:10.969 --> 00:13:12.210
raised his hand and he said,
00:13:12.597 --> 00:13:13.738
so this is going to take
00:13:13.778 --> 00:13:14.859
away from my lunchtime.
00:13:15.400 --> 00:13:16.480
And also I'm going to have
00:13:16.520 --> 00:13:17.661
to do an additional
00:13:17.741 --> 00:13:19.723
preparation for tutoring time.
00:13:21.904 --> 00:13:24.706
And so I'm just wondering if
00:13:24.746 --> 00:13:25.327
there's going to be
00:13:25.367 --> 00:13:26.888
additional compensation for
00:13:26.928 --> 00:13:28.249
this flex time that we're
00:13:28.269 --> 00:13:29.890
going to use to intervene
00:13:29.930 --> 00:13:30.991
with students who are failing.
00:13:32.568 --> 00:13:34.288
And there was an audible
00:13:34.368 --> 00:13:35.769
hush that fell over the
00:13:35.829 --> 00:13:37.149
auditorium where all of us
00:13:37.269 --> 00:13:38.149
teachers were sitting
00:13:38.189 --> 00:13:39.149
together and all of the
00:13:39.169 --> 00:13:40.189
administrators were
00:13:40.309 --> 00:13:41.570
standing up near the stage
00:13:42.290 --> 00:13:43.710
and the principal had the microphone.
00:13:44.410 --> 00:13:45.110
And he said,
00:13:45.130 --> 00:13:48.091
I don't know what to tell you.
00:13:48.651 --> 00:13:50.391
If you're not willing to
00:13:50.831 --> 00:13:52.652
make this sacrifice for the students,
00:13:52.972 --> 00:13:54.492
then maybe you shouldn't be a teacher.
00:13:56.672 --> 00:13:59.313
And to me, it really echoed.
00:14:00.723 --> 00:14:02.264
over all of the times that I
00:14:02.324 --> 00:14:03.865
had been asked to give and
00:14:03.905 --> 00:14:05.426
give and give and give and
00:14:05.486 --> 00:14:06.906
sacrifice of my personal
00:14:06.946 --> 00:14:09.227
time to give more to the students.
00:14:09.868 --> 00:14:10.968
And every time that I got
00:14:11.108 --> 00:14:13.609
shamed for not making those
00:14:13.649 --> 00:14:15.510
sacrifices and for not
00:14:15.570 --> 00:14:16.991
being willing to do more
00:14:17.431 --> 00:14:19.752
and more and more and to
00:14:19.812 --> 00:14:22.214
just give without question,
00:14:22.694 --> 00:14:23.894
without compensation,
00:14:23.994 --> 00:14:24.955
without recognition.
00:14:26.882 --> 00:14:31.305
And it really just sat very badly with me.
00:14:31.565 --> 00:14:32.445
I did not like it.
00:14:33.826 --> 00:14:35.848
I thought, you know,
00:14:35.908 --> 00:14:37.228
here I am as a teacher who
00:14:37.288 --> 00:14:41.491
came into this position as two teachers.
00:14:43.132 --> 00:14:44.673
And I sort of referenced this before,
00:14:44.733 --> 00:14:47.114
but in Texas, we do everything crazy.
00:14:48.115 --> 00:14:50.336
Not better, just bigger and crazy.
00:14:50.977 --> 00:14:52.838
So as a choir teacher,
00:14:52.978 --> 00:14:54.519
I was also technically the
00:14:54.559 --> 00:14:56.440
sponsor of the choir club.
00:14:56.862 --> 00:14:59.123
which had competitions and
00:14:59.183 --> 00:15:00.704
fundraisers and all those things.
00:15:01.144 --> 00:15:04.426
And so we were preparing for
00:15:04.486 --> 00:15:06.667
competition almost the
00:15:06.707 --> 00:15:08.868
entire fall and a lot of the spring.
00:15:09.788 --> 00:15:11.669
And the competition in the
00:15:11.709 --> 00:15:13.470
fall was an individual competition.
00:15:13.490 --> 00:15:14.571
It was voluntary,
00:15:15.171 --> 00:15:16.291
but the administrators
00:15:16.371 --> 00:15:17.792
expected us to send kids to
00:15:17.812 --> 00:15:18.573
this competition.
00:15:18.613 --> 00:15:19.653
They expected us to have
00:15:19.693 --> 00:15:21.454
kids do well at this competition because
00:15:22.181 --> 00:15:23.702
Our job performance was
00:15:24.583 --> 00:15:26.144
based largely on the number
00:15:26.224 --> 00:15:27.586
of kids that we got into
00:15:27.606 --> 00:15:28.726
the special choir that they
00:15:28.767 --> 00:15:29.647
were auditioning for.
00:15:30.308 --> 00:15:34.051
So every day after school on
00:15:34.231 --> 00:15:35.192
all of the days of the week
00:15:35.232 --> 00:15:36.353
that we could during the
00:15:36.413 --> 00:15:38.154
entire month of August and September,
00:15:38.855 --> 00:15:40.276
we were tutoring kids for a
00:15:40.536 --> 00:15:42.218
competition that would happen in October.
00:15:42.358 --> 00:15:44.880
And then in October, every single Saturday,
00:15:45.380 --> 00:15:46.021
we were judging
00:15:46.081 --> 00:15:47.222
competitions and running
00:15:47.282 --> 00:15:48.403
competitions and getting
00:15:48.443 --> 00:15:49.924
our kids ready for competitions.
00:15:50.596 --> 00:15:51.457
And then in November,
00:15:51.477 --> 00:15:53.458
the Honor Choir performed.
00:15:53.638 --> 00:15:54.399
And so there were two
00:15:54.439 --> 00:15:55.519
Saturdays in November that
00:15:55.560 --> 00:15:56.680
we were required to be there.
00:15:57.301 --> 00:15:58.522
We didn't get any extra
00:15:58.562 --> 00:15:59.943
compensation for any of
00:15:59.983 --> 00:16:01.644
those Saturdays with the extra time.
00:16:01.804 --> 00:16:03.325
It was just assumed that we
00:16:03.345 --> 00:16:04.126
were going to do that to
00:16:04.166 --> 00:16:04.966
have a good program.
00:16:05.426 --> 00:16:06.307
The same thing happened in
00:16:06.327 --> 00:16:07.168
the spring when the whole
00:16:07.228 --> 00:16:08.389
choir would get together
00:16:08.449 --> 00:16:09.309
for a competition.
00:16:09.649 --> 00:16:11.491
We would do extra rehearsals afterwards.
00:16:12.531 --> 00:16:14.393
My mixed choir, men and women,
00:16:14.573 --> 00:16:16.274
didn't get to meet during the school day.
00:16:16.334 --> 00:16:17.615
So every single Tuesday
00:16:17.655 --> 00:16:18.476
night during the school
00:16:18.496 --> 00:16:20.317
year from August until June,
00:16:21.043 --> 00:16:22.264
We met every Tuesday night
00:16:22.304 --> 00:16:23.565
for two hours to rehearse.
00:16:23.985 --> 00:16:25.227
So there was a lot of extra
00:16:25.267 --> 00:16:27.368
time that we didn't get compensated for.
00:16:27.388 --> 00:16:30.871
In addition, I had to run fundraisers,
00:16:31.452 --> 00:16:33.113
which meant that I had to count money,
00:16:33.353 --> 00:16:34.374
which meant that I had to
00:16:34.414 --> 00:16:35.635
do extra accounting.
00:16:35.747 --> 00:16:37.188
I had an account for my sheet music.
00:16:37.308 --> 00:16:38.950
I had an account for my piano tuners.
00:16:39.430 --> 00:16:40.971
I had an account for my accompanists.
00:16:41.472 --> 00:16:42.913
I had an account for uniforms.
00:16:43.353 --> 00:16:44.434
And I had to keep track of
00:16:44.494 --> 00:16:45.615
all those extra accounts.
00:16:45.675 --> 00:16:47.056
And that's not something
00:16:47.117 --> 00:16:48.818
that falls within the job
00:16:48.838 --> 00:16:50.159
description of a regular teacher.
00:16:50.179 --> 00:16:51.240
It was something that I also
00:16:51.300 --> 00:16:52.161
had to do on the side.
00:16:53.562 --> 00:16:55.992
All of that to say that I
00:16:56.072 --> 00:16:57.613
spent a lot of time doing a
00:16:57.674 --> 00:16:59.195
lot of tasks for which I
00:16:59.235 --> 00:17:00.576
was not compensated.
00:17:01.613 --> 00:17:04.275
And I did it because I loved the job.
00:17:04.575 --> 00:17:06.137
I loved connecting with the students.
00:17:06.337 --> 00:17:07.618
I loved being a positive
00:17:07.698 --> 00:17:09.179
influence in students' lives.
00:17:09.920 --> 00:17:11.781
I paid attention when our
00:17:12.001 --> 00:17:13.462
school counselors did
00:17:13.522 --> 00:17:14.783
training at the beginning of the year,
00:17:15.284 --> 00:17:18.186
and they told us that LGBTQ
00:17:18.226 --> 00:17:19.908
students who had even one
00:17:20.068 --> 00:17:21.709
adult in their lives who
00:17:21.729 --> 00:17:22.750
was validating and
00:17:22.810 --> 00:17:24.571
supportive reduced the
00:17:24.611 --> 00:17:25.472
suicide rate by 50%.
00:17:25.472 --> 00:17:25.912
I paid attention.
00:17:28.518 --> 00:17:29.659
when those same counselors
00:17:29.719 --> 00:17:30.900
said that children who are
00:17:30.940 --> 00:17:31.940
abused in their homes,
00:17:32.501 --> 00:17:33.742
if they have one supportive
00:17:33.782 --> 00:17:35.083
adult outside of their home,
00:17:35.863 --> 00:17:37.484
they are more successful
00:17:37.484 --> 00:17:39.786
80% of the time over the
00:17:39.926 --> 00:17:40.987
students who don't have a
00:17:41.027 --> 00:17:42.568
supportive adult outside of the home.
00:17:42.608 --> 00:17:45.810
So I knew that sometimes I
00:17:45.850 --> 00:17:47.592
was the only adult in those
00:17:47.652 --> 00:17:49.133
students' lives who treated
00:17:49.173 --> 00:17:50.394
them with kindness and respect.
00:17:50.474 --> 00:17:52.295
And I took that very, very seriously.
00:17:54.165 --> 00:17:55.886
I made my classroom a safe
00:17:55.946 --> 00:17:57.607
place for my students and I
00:17:57.747 --> 00:17:59.327
invested in them and I
00:17:59.687 --> 00:18:02.028
taught them not just about singing,
00:18:02.649 --> 00:18:04.269
but about the poetry that
00:18:04.329 --> 00:18:05.650
went with the songs and
00:18:05.830 --> 00:18:07.471
about the history of the
00:18:07.531 --> 00:18:09.501
Bible verses and the
00:18:09.541 --> 00:18:11.822
slavery movement where the
00:18:12.002 --> 00:18:13.163
only hope that they had to
00:18:13.223 --> 00:18:14.623
hang on to was those gospel
00:18:14.664 --> 00:18:15.604
songs that they sang.
00:18:16.104 --> 00:18:17.765
And I taught them that the
00:18:17.785 --> 00:18:19.806
gospel songs were not just about Jesus,
00:18:19.846 --> 00:18:20.406
they were about
00:18:21.258 --> 00:18:22.319
leaving their master.
00:18:22.419 --> 00:18:23.780
They were about hope for a
00:18:23.820 --> 00:18:25.681
better world after slavery ended.
00:18:26.461 --> 00:18:28.522
I taught them a lot that had
00:18:28.582 --> 00:18:29.583
nothing to do with choir.
00:18:29.843 --> 00:18:31.544
And I took that job very seriously.
00:18:32.185 --> 00:18:33.785
And I think very fondly
00:18:33.846 --> 00:18:35.366
about the time that I had
00:18:35.426 --> 00:18:36.187
to connect with those
00:18:36.207 --> 00:18:37.508
students and to be a
00:18:37.548 --> 00:18:38.949
positive influence in their lives.
00:18:39.549 --> 00:18:40.850
I loved it so much.
00:18:42.471 --> 00:18:43.751
But it became harder and
00:18:43.891 --> 00:18:45.632
harder to weigh that love
00:18:45.673 --> 00:18:47.293
of students against what I
00:18:47.333 --> 00:18:48.834
was experiencing on the
00:18:48.874 --> 00:18:49.795
administrative side.
00:18:50.493 --> 00:18:51.514
and on the side where I was
00:18:51.554 --> 00:18:53.256
being asked to sacrifice my
00:18:53.316 --> 00:18:54.318
time with my children
00:18:54.838 --> 00:18:56.580
because I had jobs to do
00:18:56.760 --> 00:18:58.162
and I was a single mom at the time.
00:18:58.783 --> 00:18:59.864
So I started becoming
00:18:59.904 --> 00:19:01.866
disillusioned with the
00:19:01.886 --> 00:19:02.827
teaching profession in
00:19:02.887 --> 00:19:05.490
general and I started
00:19:05.530 --> 00:19:07.072
looking around for other solutions.
00:19:07.793 --> 00:19:08.013
Now,
00:19:08.093 --> 00:19:09.875
going back to our Booster Club parents,
00:19:10.692 --> 00:19:12.233
That group of parents became
00:19:12.273 --> 00:19:13.715
known as the Rhinos.
00:19:14.115 --> 00:19:15.876
And it's kind of a silly story-wise,
00:19:15.916 --> 00:19:17.097
so I won't get into it right now.
00:19:17.137 --> 00:19:18.579
But I'll just say that the
00:19:18.619 --> 00:19:20.420
booster moms whose students
00:19:20.460 --> 00:19:21.521
were all seniors in that
00:19:21.561 --> 00:19:22.462
year that Samuel and I
00:19:22.502 --> 00:19:24.544
taught together and their husbands,
00:19:25.604 --> 00:19:26.665
we all got together every
00:19:26.705 --> 00:19:27.846
couple of months and had dinner.
00:19:28.006 --> 00:19:29.348
And we talked and we
00:19:29.388 --> 00:19:31.029
commiserated and we just
00:19:31.309 --> 00:19:32.110
supported each other.
00:19:33.231 --> 00:19:34.372
One of those booster parents
00:19:34.412 --> 00:19:35.793
happened to own a business.
00:19:36.403 --> 00:19:37.805
And at one point when I was
00:19:37.905 --> 00:19:39.547
sort of commiserating about
00:19:39.567 --> 00:19:41.609
the teaching experience, he said,
00:19:41.649 --> 00:19:41.950
you know,
00:19:41.970 --> 00:19:44.092
I might have some consulting
00:19:44.112 --> 00:19:44.713
that you could do.
00:19:45.874 --> 00:19:47.196
And I said, sign me up.
00:19:47.476 --> 00:19:48.437
I'd be happy to do it.
00:19:49.498 --> 00:19:50.840
When I was an undergraduate,
00:19:51.320 --> 00:19:54.103
I did a lot of marketing.
00:19:54.804 --> 00:19:56.306
I actually took
00:19:56.306 --> 00:19:58.149
60 hours of business courses
00:19:58.229 --> 00:19:59.590
as part of my undergraduate degree.
00:20:00.031 --> 00:20:00.691
I've always been
00:20:00.731 --> 00:20:02.573
entrepreneurial and I have
00:20:02.613 --> 00:20:04.114
a lot of skills in that area.
00:20:04.314 --> 00:20:05.675
And so I thought that it
00:20:05.715 --> 00:20:06.816
would be a great fit for me
00:20:07.257 --> 00:20:08.137
when he said that he had a
00:20:08.197 --> 00:20:09.358
software program that he
00:20:09.398 --> 00:20:10.299
wanted to market.
00:20:11.480 --> 00:20:14.322
And so he owned a property tax business.
00:20:14.682 --> 00:20:16.184
And so he hired me as a
00:20:16.224 --> 00:20:18.846
consultant in the spring of COVID year,
00:20:19.266 --> 00:20:21.208
when we were spending a lot
00:20:21.248 --> 00:20:22.909
less time with competitions and things,
00:20:22.929 --> 00:20:24.090
because we couldn't be in person.
00:20:24.836 --> 00:20:26.457
And so I had a lot of hours
00:20:26.497 --> 00:20:27.537
that normally were taken up
00:20:27.577 --> 00:20:28.477
with school business,
00:20:28.958 --> 00:20:30.398
which I can now use for other things.
00:20:30.558 --> 00:20:32.099
And so I did some consulting for him.
00:20:32.119 --> 00:20:33.139
I really enjoyed it.
00:20:33.719 --> 00:20:35.380
He was very generous with paying me.
00:20:36.160 --> 00:20:38.041
And at the end of that assignment, I said,
00:20:38.081 --> 00:20:39.702
if you ever have something open up,
00:20:39.902 --> 00:20:41.002
I would be open to leaving
00:20:41.042 --> 00:20:42.743
teaching and coming to work with you.
00:20:43.743 --> 00:20:45.004
And he sort of hedged and
00:20:45.044 --> 00:20:45.764
hemmed and hawed.
00:20:45.804 --> 00:20:46.184
And he said,
00:20:46.224 --> 00:20:48.185
I'm not really sure if I have
00:20:48.245 --> 00:20:49.045
something permanent,
00:20:49.085 --> 00:20:50.366
but I'll let you know if I do.
00:20:51.546 --> 00:20:54.047
And he had some hangups about it.
00:20:55.282 --> 00:20:57.486
So COVID happened.
00:20:58.007 --> 00:20:59.509
Choir was terrible during COVID.
00:20:59.729 --> 00:21:00.531
We couldn't sing.
00:21:00.691 --> 00:21:01.773
We couldn't meet in person.
00:21:01.793 --> 00:21:03.315
It was a really terrible
00:21:03.355 --> 00:21:04.898
situation for everybody involved.
00:21:05.669 --> 00:21:06.309
In addition,
00:21:07.270 --> 00:21:09.171
my administrators were telling
00:21:09.251 --> 00:21:11.733
us that when we come back in the fall,
00:21:12.394 --> 00:21:14.335
there's no guarantee that
00:21:14.475 --> 00:21:15.295
you'll be able to get a
00:21:15.335 --> 00:21:16.776
waiver if you care for
00:21:16.836 --> 00:21:18.718
people who are in a risk category.
00:21:19.198 --> 00:21:19.298
Now,
00:21:19.338 --> 00:21:21.640
this is rewinding a lot to COVID stuff
00:21:21.660 --> 00:21:23.481
that we have learned a lot
00:21:23.541 --> 00:21:24.702
since then about COVID,
00:21:25.122 --> 00:21:26.423
about what it is and what it isn't.
00:21:26.603 --> 00:21:27.303
But at the time,
00:21:27.464 --> 00:21:29.005
we did not know what we didn't know.
00:21:29.945 --> 00:21:32.606
And I had two kids at home
00:21:32.686 --> 00:21:33.927
who were in risk categories,
00:21:34.107 --> 00:21:36.168
one type one diabetic and
00:21:36.308 --> 00:21:37.168
one with asthma.
00:21:37.808 --> 00:21:38.949
And I was being asked to go
00:21:39.169 --> 00:21:40.509
into the classroom with not
00:21:40.529 --> 00:21:42.390
very much protection, with no vaccine,
00:21:42.910 --> 00:21:44.131
not knowing if I was going
00:21:44.151 --> 00:21:45.071
to get exposed in the
00:21:45.111 --> 00:21:46.111
classroom and then bring
00:21:46.131 --> 00:21:48.212
COVID home to my two at risk children.
00:21:49.072 --> 00:21:50.473
And I finally just made the
00:21:50.513 --> 00:21:51.613
decision that my kids were
00:21:51.673 --> 00:21:52.494
more important than
00:21:52.654 --> 00:21:53.474
anything that I was going
00:21:53.494 --> 00:21:54.234
to do in the school.
00:21:54.374 --> 00:21:56.155
And I decided to jump.
00:21:57.196 --> 00:21:58.376
I decided to quit teaching.
00:21:59.187 --> 00:22:00.348
It was one of the hardest
00:22:00.388 --> 00:22:01.449
decisions I've ever made.
00:22:02.430 --> 00:22:03.771
I hated leaving my students.
00:22:04.371 --> 00:22:05.772
There were lots of tears on
00:22:05.812 --> 00:22:08.274
both sides and it was just
00:22:08.355 --> 00:22:09.135
really difficult.
00:22:10.396 --> 00:22:12.198
And I did this crazy thing
00:22:12.218 --> 00:22:13.439
that I've advised all of my
00:22:13.479 --> 00:22:14.339
children never to do.
00:22:14.560 --> 00:22:16.061
I quit my job at teaching
00:22:16.101 --> 00:22:18.162
before I had another place to land.
00:22:19.824 --> 00:22:21.345
And part of that was I had a
00:22:21.385 --> 00:22:22.306
little bit of money set
00:22:22.346 --> 00:22:24.287
aside and in my particular
00:22:24.348 --> 00:22:25.829
school district, they paid us
00:22:27.301 --> 00:22:28.542
They only paid us for the 10
00:22:28.542 --> 00:22:29.403
months that we taught,
00:22:29.443 --> 00:22:30.444
but they broke that 10
00:22:30.444 --> 00:22:32.766
months of pay into 12 payments,
00:22:33.046 --> 00:22:33.807
if that makes sense.
00:22:33.847 --> 00:22:34.908
So we got paid the same
00:22:34.948 --> 00:22:35.728
amount every month.
00:22:35.788 --> 00:22:36.549
I guess they didn't want
00:22:36.589 --> 00:22:37.350
teachers claiming
00:22:37.410 --> 00:22:38.250
unemployment over the
00:22:38.290 --> 00:22:40.252
summer or budgeting poorly
00:22:40.292 --> 00:22:41.193
and running into trouble.
00:22:41.974 --> 00:22:44.676
And so I knew that I had a
00:22:44.716 --> 00:22:45.937
couple of months of pay left.
00:22:46.157 --> 00:22:47.078
I didn't want to leave my
00:22:47.138 --> 00:22:49.060
position at the end of the summer
00:22:49.850 --> 00:22:51.392
Because by the end of the summer,
00:22:51.632 --> 00:22:52.873
all the good teachers have
00:22:52.973 --> 00:22:54.174
chosen jobs already.
00:22:54.755 --> 00:22:55.856
And I sort of had somebody
00:22:55.896 --> 00:22:57.077
in mind that would be great
00:22:57.137 --> 00:22:57.918
for taking over.
00:22:57.938 --> 00:23:00.160
And I wanted to leave my
00:23:00.300 --> 00:23:01.921
program in the best
00:23:02.022 --> 00:23:03.703
possible place that I could.
00:23:04.344 --> 00:23:06.125
So I contacted my friend who
00:23:06.185 --> 00:23:07.367
I thought would want to take over.
00:23:08.027 --> 00:23:09.248
And then I contacted the
00:23:09.288 --> 00:23:10.890
principal who was a brand
00:23:10.930 --> 00:23:12.071
new principal coming into
00:23:12.091 --> 00:23:13.874
the fall of 2020.
00:23:13.874 --> 00:23:14.954
And I'd never met him before.
00:23:14.974 --> 00:23:17.135
And I just sent him an email and I said,
00:23:17.215 --> 00:23:19.196
I'm really sorry that we've never met,
00:23:19.256 --> 00:23:20.696
but I'm resigning my position.
00:23:20.716 --> 00:23:22.237
I think this person would be
00:23:22.257 --> 00:23:23.377
great to take over if you'd
00:23:23.417 --> 00:23:24.337
like to interview them.
00:23:24.357 --> 00:23:25.978
I wanted to give you enough
00:23:26.038 --> 00:23:26.858
time to get somebody
00:23:26.918 --> 00:23:28.239
wonderful into this program
00:23:28.899 --> 00:23:32.700
before the fall started and
00:23:32.740 --> 00:23:34.140
all the good teachers were taken.
00:23:35.641 --> 00:23:38.102
So I made that tough decision to leave,
00:23:38.242 --> 00:23:39.762
not knowing what I was going to do.
00:23:39.862 --> 00:23:41.423
I just completely jumped out
00:23:41.543 --> 00:23:42.343
into the unknown.
00:23:43.352 --> 00:23:45.474
And I remember my daughter
00:23:45.514 --> 00:23:47.915
sent me a tweet and I'm not
00:23:48.236 --> 00:23:49.617
on Twitter or X. I wasn't
00:23:49.677 --> 00:23:50.437
at the time either.
00:23:50.477 --> 00:23:51.598
But my one of my daughters
00:23:51.638 --> 00:23:53.680
sent me a tweet that said, hey, teachers,
00:23:54.160 --> 00:23:56.562
go form a pod school and
00:23:56.642 --> 00:23:58.143
charge X amount of dollars.
00:23:58.603 --> 00:23:59.924
You just tripled your income.
00:24:00.004 --> 00:24:00.505
You're welcome.
00:24:01.385 --> 00:24:02.246
And I thought that was a
00:24:02.286 --> 00:24:04.007
really intriguing idea because I thought,
00:24:04.127 --> 00:24:04.468
you know,
00:24:04.748 --> 00:24:06.149
if there's a group of families
00:24:06.249 --> 00:24:06.950
who are together,
00:24:06.970 --> 00:24:08.431
they're sort of sheltering together.
00:24:08.451 --> 00:24:10.192
They're not going out into public.
00:24:10.212 --> 00:24:11.353
They're still distancing.
00:24:11.953 --> 00:24:13.174
They're just around each other.
00:24:13.835 --> 00:24:14.936
Wouldn't it be great if
00:24:15.036 --> 00:24:16.477
those few kids could do
00:24:16.537 --> 00:24:17.938
school together while the
00:24:17.978 --> 00:24:18.899
parents go to work?
00:24:19.139 --> 00:24:21.200
And if I could be a pod school teacher,
00:24:21.340 --> 00:24:22.501
I could help those kids get
00:24:22.561 --> 00:24:23.942
onto their devices and make
00:24:24.002 --> 00:24:24.743
sure that they were doing
00:24:24.763 --> 00:24:25.964
their assignments and all of that.
00:24:26.673 --> 00:24:27.373
I don't know if you guys
00:24:27.413 --> 00:24:29.014
remember how challenging it
00:24:29.054 --> 00:24:31.035
was to try and work from
00:24:31.095 --> 00:24:33.016
home and also help your
00:24:33.056 --> 00:24:34.816
kids do online school at the same time.
00:24:34.976 --> 00:24:36.257
It was a crazy, crazy time.
00:24:36.317 --> 00:24:37.297
I hope we never have to
00:24:37.357 --> 00:24:38.658
repeat anything like that again.
00:24:39.478 --> 00:24:41.059
But I thought it was an interesting idea.
00:24:41.259 --> 00:24:42.740
And so I started putting out
00:24:42.840 --> 00:24:44.821
onto my personal social media, hey,
00:24:44.921 --> 00:24:46.021
I'm interested in doing a
00:24:46.061 --> 00:24:47.162
pod school in the fall.
00:24:47.962 --> 00:24:49.062
If there are any families
00:24:49.102 --> 00:24:50.183
who are interested in sort
00:24:50.203 --> 00:24:51.263
of sheltering together and
00:24:51.283 --> 00:24:52.064
doing a pod school,
00:24:52.084 --> 00:24:52.884
I would love to help you.
00:24:54.369 --> 00:24:54.609
Well,
00:24:54.789 --> 00:24:56.350
one of the coaches at my CrossFit gym
00:24:56.390 --> 00:24:58.611
got back to me and she said, you know,
00:24:59.251 --> 00:25:00.671
I don't know of any families,
00:25:00.971 --> 00:25:02.412
but this guy that you
00:25:02.512 --> 00:25:03.753
already know at the gym who
00:25:03.773 --> 00:25:05.033
you already work out with,
00:25:05.653 --> 00:25:06.554
he's the president of a
00:25:06.594 --> 00:25:07.834
corporation and he wants
00:25:07.914 --> 00:25:09.315
his employees back in the
00:25:09.495 --> 00:25:10.475
workplace in the fall.
00:25:10.955 --> 00:25:11.956
But he knows they all have
00:25:12.016 --> 00:25:14.437
kids who are doing remote school.
00:25:15.217 --> 00:25:17.358
And so he wants somebody to
00:25:17.418 --> 00:25:18.958
come in and run a remote
00:25:19.018 --> 00:25:20.759
school in his office so his
00:25:20.879 --> 00:25:22.019
office workers can be there
00:25:22.139 --> 00:25:23.720
and the kids can still do online school.
00:25:24.907 --> 00:25:26.968
So I met with this guy, his name is Leo.
00:25:27.028 --> 00:25:27.988
He's a wonderful guy.
00:25:28.008 --> 00:25:29.209
He's somebody that I worked
00:25:29.269 --> 00:25:30.109
out with at the gym for a
00:25:30.149 --> 00:25:31.129
couple of years and had no
00:25:31.209 --> 00:25:32.750
idea what he did for a living, but he's,
00:25:32.930 --> 00:25:34.690
he was the president of this corporation.
00:25:34.881 --> 00:25:35.413
it's,
00:25:36.054 --> 00:25:37.134
it's kind of funny to note
00:25:37.754 --> 00:25:39.235
when I was working as a teacher,
00:25:39.415 --> 00:25:40.595
I had two lunch periods
00:25:40.655 --> 00:25:41.596
right in a row because I
00:25:41.616 --> 00:25:43.136
did a class that was before school.
00:25:43.196 --> 00:25:44.417
So in order to make up for
00:25:44.437 --> 00:25:46.257
me having that extra class before school,
00:25:46.277 --> 00:25:47.118
they gave me two lunch
00:25:47.158 --> 00:25:48.378
periods right next to each other.
00:25:48.914 --> 00:25:49.895
which was perfect because it
00:25:49.915 --> 00:25:52.096
meant that I could leave, go to the gym,
00:25:52.336 --> 00:25:56.118
work out, throw on some other clothes,
00:25:56.658 --> 00:25:57.699
put my hair in a ponytail
00:25:57.739 --> 00:25:58.620
and come back and teach my
00:25:58.660 --> 00:25:59.480
afternoon classes.
00:26:00.321 --> 00:26:01.741
So Leo was at that noon
00:26:01.781 --> 00:26:03.642
class for a year and a half.
00:26:03.883 --> 00:26:05.463
I knew this guy, we worked out together,
00:26:05.503 --> 00:26:06.404
but I had no idea what he
00:26:06.424 --> 00:26:07.064
did for a living.
00:26:07.705 --> 00:26:08.665
Found out that he was the
00:26:08.705 --> 00:26:09.746
president of a corporation.
00:26:10.990 --> 00:26:13.532
And so I got all dressed up
00:26:14.112 --> 00:26:15.473
and went to make this
00:26:15.553 --> 00:26:17.655
proposal for the pod school.
00:26:17.715 --> 00:26:18.695
Like I figured out all the
00:26:18.755 --> 00:26:20.036
financials and all of the
00:26:20.076 --> 00:26:21.798
logistics of how this was going to work.
00:26:22.318 --> 00:26:23.339
And I came up with this big,
00:26:23.379 --> 00:26:24.399
huge proposal that I was
00:26:24.439 --> 00:26:25.140
going to show to him.
00:26:25.160 --> 00:26:28.442
And I got to his office and
00:26:28.502 --> 00:26:30.523
he showed up exactly as I
00:26:30.564 --> 00:26:31.985
had always seen him at the gym.
00:26:32.345 --> 00:26:33.466
He was wearing shorts and a
00:26:33.506 --> 00:26:34.646
t-shirt and flip-flops,
00:26:35.207 --> 00:26:36.688
president of the company, right?
00:26:38.496 --> 00:26:40.278
And he said, well,
00:26:40.298 --> 00:26:41.398
I see you got all dressed up.
00:26:41.418 --> 00:26:43.400
I mean, I was wearing my nicest clothes.
00:26:43.880 --> 00:26:45.802
I, you know, had jewelry on.
00:26:45.862 --> 00:26:47.583
I was like wearing pearls and whatever.
00:26:47.643 --> 00:26:49.245
I was trying to put on a good impression.
00:26:49.365 --> 00:26:50.366
Turned out I could have just
00:26:50.386 --> 00:26:51.326
shown up in gym clothes.
00:26:51.366 --> 00:26:52.027
I would have been fine.
00:26:52.687 --> 00:26:53.488
So I went and made this
00:26:53.528 --> 00:26:54.789
proposal to him and we
00:26:54.869 --> 00:26:56.711
agreed this is what was going to happen.
00:26:57.311 --> 00:26:58.232
And he kept saying to me,
00:26:59.212 --> 00:27:01.033
I don't know if they're going to, you know,
00:27:01.133 --> 00:27:02.253
they being like the board
00:27:02.273 --> 00:27:03.433
of directors of his company
00:27:03.473 --> 00:27:04.433
was going to be mad at him
00:27:04.453 --> 00:27:05.874
for spending money on a pod school.
00:27:05.894 --> 00:27:06.874
But he was like, I don't care.
00:27:06.894 --> 00:27:08.314
I want my employees in the office.
00:27:08.354 --> 00:27:09.214
This is what we're going to do.
00:27:10.115 --> 00:27:12.715
So I found a couple of rooms
00:27:12.995 --> 00:27:13.696
in the corporate
00:27:13.736 --> 00:27:15.076
headquarters that were going to work.
00:27:15.556 --> 00:27:16.796
I ordered all this furniture,
00:27:16.896 --> 00:27:17.937
all this technology.
00:27:17.957 --> 00:27:20.477
I set up this huge spreadsheet.
00:27:20.677 --> 00:27:22.057
I had 12 students who were
00:27:22.258 --> 00:27:23.738
all at different schools.
00:27:24.838 --> 00:27:25.879
And they all had different
00:27:25.979 --> 00:27:27.081
online school schedules.
00:27:27.181 --> 00:27:28.102
And I just kept track of
00:27:28.142 --> 00:27:29.023
which classes that they
00:27:29.043 --> 00:27:29.864
were going to go to.
00:27:30.024 --> 00:27:30.825
And I made sure that they
00:27:30.865 --> 00:27:32.126
did their assignments outside.
00:27:32.627 --> 00:27:34.008
I hired a PE teacher to come
00:27:34.048 --> 00:27:34.969
in three times a week.
00:27:35.430 --> 00:27:36.471
I hired an art teacher to
00:27:36.511 --> 00:27:37.912
come in twice a week so
00:27:37.952 --> 00:27:38.853
that these kids would have
00:27:39.254 --> 00:27:41.316
as close to normal a school
00:27:41.356 --> 00:27:42.818
experience as they possibly can.
00:27:43.378 --> 00:27:44.720
And it ended up being really cool.
00:27:46.892 --> 00:27:47.652
In October,
00:27:47.672 --> 00:27:49.233
a lot of schools started
00:27:49.353 --> 00:27:51.374
opening up to let kids come
00:27:51.414 --> 00:27:52.134
back in person.
00:27:52.614 --> 00:27:54.635
And so several of my students,
00:27:54.695 --> 00:27:56.716
including the president's children,
00:27:57.296 --> 00:27:58.337
left the pod school and
00:27:58.377 --> 00:27:59.177
went back to school.
00:27:59.837 --> 00:28:01.438
So it was pretty clear that
00:28:01.558 --> 00:28:02.799
when December came around,
00:28:02.879 --> 00:28:03.599
I was not going to have
00:28:03.619 --> 00:28:05.060
this pod school job anymore
00:28:05.520 --> 00:28:06.620
because most people were
00:28:06.640 --> 00:28:07.421
going to just go back to
00:28:07.481 --> 00:28:08.281
in-person school.
00:28:09.001 --> 00:28:11.882
And so I started contacting, again,
00:28:11.902 --> 00:28:12.823
my parents.
00:28:13.899 --> 00:28:17.021
booster club parent who had a business.
00:28:17.602 --> 00:28:18.663
I had done some consulting
00:28:18.703 --> 00:28:20.444
for him and I said, hey,
00:28:20.584 --> 00:28:22.265
has anything opened up in your company?
00:28:22.305 --> 00:28:23.466
I would really love to come over.
00:28:24.667 --> 00:28:24.847
Well,
00:28:24.907 --> 00:28:26.789
it turned out that one division of
00:28:26.829 --> 00:28:27.489
his company,
00:28:27.729 --> 00:28:29.611
which was handling property
00:28:29.651 --> 00:28:31.432
taxes for bankrupt businesses,
00:28:32.493 --> 00:28:34.374
they were looking for something,
00:28:35.835 --> 00:28:38.177
someone to come in and sort of
00:28:41.237 --> 00:28:42.318
figure out how their
00:28:42.358 --> 00:28:43.817
division could operate more efficiently.
00:28:44.074 --> 00:28:45.816
so I interviewed with the person
00:28:45.856 --> 00:28:46.736
who was the head of the
00:28:47.157 --> 00:28:48.958
bankruptcy property tax division.
00:28:49.279 --> 00:28:50.580
And the only experience that
00:28:50.620 --> 00:28:52.382
I had was that one little
00:28:52.422 --> 00:28:53.763
consulting thing that I had done
00:28:54.719 --> 00:28:56.640
But they liked what I had to
00:28:56.680 --> 00:28:57.440
bring to the table.
00:28:57.520 --> 00:29:00.181
And so they hired me to start in January.
00:29:00.340 --> 00:29:03.018
I was supposed to start on January 3rd,
00:29:03.318 --> 00:29:04.418
which I believe was a Monday.
00:29:04.719 --> 00:29:06.079
I could be wrong with these dates.
00:29:06.619 --> 00:29:07.379
It's a little fuzzy.
00:29:09.360 --> 00:29:11.441
So I called in and I said, hey,
00:29:11.461 --> 00:29:13.862
I'm just making sure that
00:29:13.882 --> 00:29:14.702
I'm going to show up on
00:29:14.742 --> 00:29:16.462
Monday and that I'm going
00:29:16.763 --> 00:29:18.363
to be working with this
00:29:18.583 --> 00:29:19.443
bankruptcy division.
00:29:20.204 --> 00:29:20.884
And they said, well,
00:29:22.335 --> 00:29:23.516
the person who is going to
00:29:23.556 --> 00:29:27.059
be over you has COVID and
00:29:27.900 --> 00:29:29.121
they're not gonna be in for
00:29:29.301 --> 00:29:30.281
at least six weeks.
00:29:31.062 --> 00:29:32.203
And there's nobody else who
00:29:32.243 --> 00:29:33.384
can really teach you what
00:29:33.504 --> 00:29:35.205
your job responsibilities are gonna be.
00:29:36.546 --> 00:29:39.489
And so why don't you come in anyway,
00:29:39.569 --> 00:29:41.090
we'll get you onboarded and
00:29:41.130 --> 00:29:42.992
we'll figure out what you're gonna do.
00:29:44.033 --> 00:29:46.454
So I came in that day and
00:29:46.475 --> 00:29:48.716
the parent who was the
00:29:48.736 --> 00:29:50.538
Booster Club parent was the
00:29:50.598 --> 00:29:51.479
head of the whole company.
00:29:52.393 --> 00:29:54.275
And he was one office away
00:29:54.535 --> 00:29:55.435
from the person I was
00:29:55.456 --> 00:29:56.456
supposed to be working for.
00:29:57.477 --> 00:29:58.858
And so what they ended up saying is,
00:29:59.118 --> 00:29:59.318
you know,
00:29:59.379 --> 00:30:01.000
why don't you go sit in with the
00:30:01.040 --> 00:30:02.021
president of the company?
00:30:02.141 --> 00:30:02.761
Who's your buddy?
00:30:02.781 --> 00:30:03.922
You know him.
00:30:03.962 --> 00:30:05.103
You guys have hung out forever.
00:30:06.104 --> 00:30:07.225
And you can just hang out
00:30:07.245 --> 00:30:08.486
with him and help him out
00:30:08.546 --> 00:30:09.887
however you can until this
00:30:09.947 --> 00:30:10.787
other guy gets back.
00:30:11.888 --> 00:30:13.629
Well, long story short,
00:30:13.790 --> 00:30:15.351
I never did end up going to
00:30:15.391 --> 00:30:16.632
work for the bankruptcy
00:30:16.672 --> 00:30:19.154
section of the property tax system.
00:30:20.313 --> 00:30:23.274
I sat in the office of my
00:30:23.314 --> 00:30:26.394
friend the first day and I
00:30:26.474 --> 00:30:28.735
had no idea that besides
00:30:28.835 --> 00:30:30.195
the property tax business
00:30:30.415 --> 00:30:32.635
and the bankruptcy property tax business,
00:30:33.195 --> 00:30:34.356
he was also running a
00:30:34.396 --> 00:30:38.116
business shipping fuel to
00:30:38.176 --> 00:30:40.317
Mexico via rail car.
00:30:42.677 --> 00:30:44.198
And I went into his office
00:30:44.618 --> 00:30:46.198
and I sat down and he said,
00:30:47.148 --> 00:30:48.791
I'm working on lots of different projects.
00:30:48.911 --> 00:30:50.253
You'll get to know about all of them.
00:30:50.794 --> 00:30:51.094
For now,
00:30:51.155 --> 00:30:52.316
I just want you to listen to every
00:30:52.357 --> 00:30:52.897
phone call.
00:30:53.098 --> 00:30:54.159
You can sit in on every
00:30:54.200 --> 00:30:56.403
meeting and just figure out
00:30:56.443 --> 00:30:57.625
if there's something that you want to do.
00:30:58.459 --> 00:30:58.959
And so I did.
00:30:59.659 --> 00:31:01.000
I sat in on every phone call
00:31:01.280 --> 00:31:02.400
and I sat in on every
00:31:02.420 --> 00:31:03.960
meeting and I took copious
00:31:04.020 --> 00:31:04.920
notes and I Googled
00:31:05.140 --> 00:31:06.461
everything that I didn't understand,
00:31:06.601 --> 00:31:08.321
which was probably 80% of
00:31:08.361 --> 00:31:09.141
what was being said.
00:31:10.101 --> 00:31:12.862
I had no idea what it was
00:31:12.922 --> 00:31:15.182
like to try and load rail
00:31:15.222 --> 00:31:16.723
cars with fuel on the Gulf
00:31:16.763 --> 00:31:18.403
Coast and ship them across
00:31:18.443 --> 00:31:19.483
the border to Mexico and
00:31:20.343 --> 00:31:22.084
track them and get the cars
00:31:22.144 --> 00:31:23.384
back and load them again.
00:31:23.624 --> 00:31:25.444
It was just this crazy process.
00:31:25.965 --> 00:31:27.085
And he often said to me in
00:31:27.125 --> 00:31:27.985
those first few days,
00:31:28.661 --> 00:31:31.003
It takes 19 things to get a
00:31:31.063 --> 00:31:32.424
rail car across the border.
00:31:32.805 --> 00:31:34.866
And if you don't have one of them,
00:31:35.607 --> 00:31:36.468
it's never going to work.
00:31:37.228 --> 00:31:38.169
And I remember after the
00:31:38.209 --> 00:31:39.430
first couple of days, I said, OK,
00:31:39.450 --> 00:31:40.311
you keep saying this.
00:31:41.012 --> 00:31:42.112
What are the 19 things?
00:31:42.413 --> 00:31:43.253
I was like, I'm ready.
00:31:43.674 --> 00:31:44.755
I'm going to write them down right now.
00:31:44.975 --> 00:31:45.395
Number one.
00:31:45.856 --> 00:31:46.756
And he was like, well,
00:31:46.997 --> 00:31:48.258
I just sort of say that.
00:31:49.474 --> 00:31:51.076
it's not really 19 things.
00:31:51.156 --> 00:31:54.079
It's probably more like 25 things.
00:31:55.460 --> 00:31:56.821
And so he started to explain
00:31:56.861 --> 00:31:57.502
to me all of the
00:31:57.542 --> 00:31:58.944
difficulties of exporting
00:31:58.984 --> 00:32:00.045
fuel into Mexico.
00:32:00.125 --> 00:32:01.306
And I learned a lot about
00:32:01.726 --> 00:32:02.907
the Mexican government and
00:32:02.988 --> 00:32:04.249
how they operate.
00:32:04.549 --> 00:32:05.610
And also the fact that
00:32:05.650 --> 00:32:06.831
bribery is just a part of
00:32:06.871 --> 00:32:10.115
their culture and you have nothing to do
00:32:11.215 --> 00:32:13.657
in Mexico if there's not bribery involved.
00:32:13.917 --> 00:32:15.638
And also you have nothing to
00:32:15.678 --> 00:32:17.359
do in Mexico if the special
00:32:17.419 --> 00:32:19.320
club is not involved whose
00:32:19.360 --> 00:32:20.521
name I won't say because
00:32:20.541 --> 00:32:21.541
the YouTube police.
00:32:22.962 --> 00:32:24.023
And so it just was,
00:32:24.323 --> 00:32:26.324
it was totally a baptism by fire.
00:32:26.404 --> 00:32:27.965
I had no idea what I was doing,
00:32:28.566 --> 00:32:30.006
but I learned, I learned very,
00:32:30.066 --> 00:32:30.647
very quickly.
00:32:30.833 --> 00:32:31.839
it was pretty crazy.
00:32:32.880 --> 00:32:35.302
I learned about rail car
00:32:35.322 --> 00:32:36.563
logistics and I learned
00:32:36.583 --> 00:32:37.644
about what kinds of rail
00:32:37.684 --> 00:32:38.865
cars were the right kinds.
00:32:38.945 --> 00:32:40.286
And I learned about loading
00:32:40.366 --> 00:32:41.968
fuel at Gulf Coast
00:32:42.028 --> 00:32:43.028
refineries and I learned
00:32:43.048 --> 00:32:44.149
about the pricing and all
00:32:44.169 --> 00:32:44.990
of the different places
00:32:45.050 --> 00:32:45.891
along the Gulf Coast.
00:32:46.583 --> 00:32:47.423
And I learned to track the
00:32:47.463 --> 00:32:49.444
prices and I learned to quote the prices.
00:32:49.584 --> 00:32:50.684
And eventually I became a
00:32:50.724 --> 00:32:52.565
project manager where I was
00:32:52.625 --> 00:32:53.645
in charge of making sure
00:32:53.665 --> 00:32:56.767
that our customers got in a fuel request.
00:32:56.907 --> 00:32:58.007
I would give them a quote
00:32:58.307 --> 00:33:00.168
and then they would send us money.
00:33:00.308 --> 00:33:01.848
We would send money to the refinery.
00:33:01.968 --> 00:33:02.709
We would schedule the
00:33:02.749 --> 00:33:03.769
loading of their rail cars.
00:33:03.829 --> 00:33:04.949
We would track the rail cars
00:33:05.069 --> 00:33:06.690
all the way down to their spur in Mexico.
00:33:07.290 --> 00:33:08.271
And then all the way back
00:33:08.291 --> 00:33:09.171
where they would load again.
00:33:09.191 --> 00:33:11.373
And it was just this crazy
00:33:11.593 --> 00:33:12.994
world that I never thought
00:33:13.014 --> 00:33:13.854
I would be a part of.
00:33:14.314 --> 00:33:15.475
And I will never forget the
00:33:15.515 --> 00:33:17.874
very first day that
00:33:18.142 --> 00:33:19.342
helped the accounting team
00:33:19.943 --> 00:33:21.844
create an invoice for our first customer.
00:33:22.584 --> 00:33:22.804
Now,
00:33:23.905 --> 00:33:25.386
rewind just a little bit because my
00:33:25.426 --> 00:33:27.167
husband had his own business.
00:33:27.988 --> 00:33:30.930
And he was working in the
00:33:30.990 --> 00:33:32.311
internet field and he was
00:33:32.351 --> 00:33:34.052
doing remote IT and things like that.
00:33:34.552 --> 00:33:35.633
And I helped him with the
00:33:35.673 --> 00:33:35.965
bookkeeping
00:33:36.110 --> 00:33:38.311
And I remember making some
00:33:38.371 --> 00:33:41.093
invoices for him that were, you know,
00:33:41.113 --> 00:33:43.354
around in the like $1,200
00:33:43.354 --> 00:33:44.074
to $1,500 range.
00:33:44.114 --> 00:33:45.595
And I remember thinking that
00:33:45.635 --> 00:33:46.596
was such a huge amount of
00:33:46.656 --> 00:33:48.217
money to bill one person
00:33:48.657 --> 00:33:49.978
for their computer expenses.
00:33:50.920 --> 00:33:52.322
And the very first invoice
00:33:53.143 --> 00:33:54.084
that I created for a
00:33:54.124 --> 00:33:55.345
customer in this business
00:33:55.445 --> 00:33:57.467
was over $1.5 million.
00:33:58.949 --> 00:34:01.692
And it completely blew my
00:34:01.752 --> 00:34:04.115
mind in the best way.
00:34:05.477 --> 00:34:06.978
in the way that I started to
00:34:07.038 --> 00:34:09.018
think about money in a very
00:34:09.078 --> 00:34:09.679
different way.
00:34:09.699 --> 00:34:11.699
I started to think about
00:34:12.439 --> 00:34:14.020
invoicing and financing
00:34:14.560 --> 00:34:16.401
literally millions of dollars of fuel,
00:34:16.521 --> 00:34:18.181
whereas before I had only
00:34:18.262 --> 00:34:19.562
really had a concept of a
00:34:19.622 --> 00:34:21.543
few thousand at a time and
00:34:21.563 --> 00:34:23.063
it completely changed my mind.
00:34:24.464 --> 00:34:25.004
In addition,
00:34:26.464 --> 00:34:29.465
my boss was also working with
00:34:30.506 --> 00:34:33.167
some other people trying to
00:34:34.942 --> 00:34:36.823
let's call it flip crude oil,
00:34:37.003 --> 00:34:37.303
Okay.
00:34:37.343 --> 00:34:38.583
So let's say that the oil
00:34:38.623 --> 00:34:40.604
price right now for crude
00:34:40.684 --> 00:34:42.385
oil is $80 a barrel.
00:34:43.446 --> 00:34:44.726
They would arrange to buy
00:34:44.787 --> 00:34:47.948
the crude oil at $79 a barrel,
00:34:48.628 --> 00:34:49.709
and then they wanted to
00:34:49.809 --> 00:34:51.950
sell it to somebody for $81 a barrel.
00:34:52.090 --> 00:34:52.170
And
00:34:54.124 --> 00:34:55.245
they wanted to capture the
00:34:55.345 --> 00:34:56.326
arbitrage in between.
00:34:56.346 --> 00:34:57.607
So a couple bucks a barrel.
00:34:57.747 --> 00:34:57.907
Well,
00:34:57.927 --> 00:34:59.108
when you're talking about half a
00:34:59.148 --> 00:35:00.929
million barrels of oil,
00:35:00.949 --> 00:35:02.350
it's a lot of money.
00:35:03.431 --> 00:35:05.132
The problem is that doesn't work.
00:35:05.212 --> 00:35:06.513
You can't really stand in the middle.
00:35:06.713 --> 00:35:08.875
If you don't have the oil, own the oil,
00:35:09.335 --> 00:35:10.956
or you don't have the money,
00:35:11.837 --> 00:35:12.878
you can't really stand in
00:35:12.898 --> 00:35:15.259
the middle and collect that arbitrage.
00:35:16.260 --> 00:35:20.043
But somehow this person that
00:35:20.063 --> 00:35:21.104
my boss is working with
00:35:21.803 --> 00:35:22.923
thought that that was possible.
00:35:23.163 --> 00:35:25.124
Now he turned out to be a fraudster,
00:35:25.384 --> 00:35:27.005
which is a story for another time.
00:35:27.745 --> 00:35:29.345
I could probably write an
00:35:29.405 --> 00:35:30.686
entire book about this
00:35:30.986 --> 00:35:32.006
whole experience and it
00:35:32.046 --> 00:35:33.266
would just be crazy and wild.
00:35:33.326 --> 00:35:34.927
In fact, I might actually do that.
00:35:36.407 --> 00:35:37.948
But the problem is that my
00:35:38.008 --> 00:35:39.668
boss clung onto that idea
00:35:39.868 --> 00:35:41.009
and thought it was a great idea.
00:35:41.589 --> 00:35:42.049
He thought,
00:35:42.509 --> 00:35:44.590
if I can't use other people's money,
00:35:45.924 --> 00:35:47.505
to stand in the middle
00:35:48.186 --> 00:35:49.006
somebody else is going to
00:35:49.046 --> 00:35:50.007
pay for it and i'm just
00:35:50.027 --> 00:35:51.148
going to stand here and be
00:35:51.188 --> 00:35:53.069
a pay master and collect
00:35:53.109 --> 00:35:54.890
some money sounds like a
00:35:54.930 --> 00:35:56.972
great plan the problem is
00:35:56.992 --> 00:35:58.513
that never works and you
00:35:58.533 --> 00:35:59.454
have to be the one with the
00:35:59.494 --> 00:36:00.715
money in order to make it
00:36:00.755 --> 00:36:02.356
work and you have to be the
00:36:02.396 --> 00:36:03.477
one who owns the fuel to
00:36:03.517 --> 00:36:04.457
make it work for lots of
00:36:04.517 --> 00:36:05.418
reasons that i won't get
00:36:05.458 --> 00:36:07.960
into right now but once we
00:36:08.000 --> 00:36:09.161
found out that person was a
00:36:09.201 --> 00:36:13.744
fraudster the problem is that we did not
00:36:16.115 --> 00:36:17.176
get rid of that business
00:36:17.216 --> 00:36:19.598
model we continue to try
00:36:19.778 --> 00:36:20.639
and make that business
00:36:20.679 --> 00:36:22.861
model work for a long time
00:36:23.241 --> 00:36:24.943
afterwards and what i
00:36:25.023 --> 00:36:27.605
quickly found is that in
00:36:27.665 --> 00:36:29.307
the secondary fuel market
00:36:30.888 --> 00:36:31.809
where you're not buying
00:36:31.849 --> 00:36:32.990
from a refinery but you're
00:36:33.010 --> 00:36:35.232
buying from a reseller and
00:36:35.252 --> 00:36:37.494
you're not selling to an
00:36:37.614 --> 00:36:39.236
end burner who's actually
00:36:39.376 --> 00:36:40.317
using the fuel but you're
00:36:41.476 --> 00:36:43.398
reselling to a reseller and
00:36:43.438 --> 00:36:44.299
you're trying to capture
00:36:44.319 --> 00:36:45.380
that profit in between,
00:36:46.061 --> 00:36:48.864
there is a ton of fraud.
00:36:50.005 --> 00:36:52.728
Like 90% of the deals that I
00:36:52.788 --> 00:36:54.130
saw over the course of
00:36:54.190 --> 00:36:55.872
three and a half years were fraudulent.
00:36:56.552 --> 00:36:59.476
And I got really good at detecting fraud.
00:37:00.176 --> 00:37:01.137
And the reason why there's
00:37:01.157 --> 00:37:02.058
so much fraud is because
00:37:02.078 --> 00:37:03.440
there's so much money to be made.
00:37:04.002 --> 00:37:05.744
One of the typical scams is
00:37:06.285 --> 00:37:07.327
someone would come and say,
00:37:07.647 --> 00:37:09.549
I've got a million barrels of jet fuel.
00:37:10.210 --> 00:37:11.752
All you have to do is use my
00:37:11.792 --> 00:37:14.356
tank farm to store the jet fuel.
00:37:14.900 --> 00:37:15.820
and then you can sell it.
00:37:16.380 --> 00:37:17.481
And you would send money to
00:37:17.521 --> 00:37:19.801
this tank farm and they would disappear.
00:37:21.561 --> 00:37:22.682
So they would collect tank
00:37:22.742 --> 00:37:25.102
fees and they would never
00:37:25.202 --> 00:37:26.162
actually own any fuels.
00:37:26.222 --> 00:37:26.562
In fact,
00:37:26.682 --> 00:37:27.823
most of the time there wasn't even
00:37:27.863 --> 00:37:28.203
a tank.
00:37:28.423 --> 00:37:30.483
It was just all fake and fraudulent.
00:37:30.563 --> 00:37:31.703
And so many people have
00:37:31.743 --> 00:37:32.764
caught onto it because it
00:37:32.804 --> 00:37:33.904
was so profitable,
00:37:34.744 --> 00:37:36.244
but there's always a way to
00:37:36.304 --> 00:37:37.465
scam people out of money.
00:37:37.725 --> 00:37:39.425
And you're talking about people with
00:37:39.991 --> 00:37:41.092
sometimes more money than
00:37:41.172 --> 00:37:42.233
cents and they get involved
00:37:42.253 --> 00:37:43.194
in these fraudulent deals
00:37:43.234 --> 00:37:44.195
because the dollar signs
00:37:44.255 --> 00:37:46.577
are so big and so
00:37:46.617 --> 00:37:49.799
attractive and all you got
00:37:49.819 --> 00:37:51.160
to do is send me some money
00:37:51.180 --> 00:37:52.742
and you're going to make 10
00:37:52.742 --> 00:37:53.362
million dollars.
00:37:54.343 --> 00:37:55.284
So I got really good at
00:37:55.344 --> 00:37:58.026
detecting the fraud and I
00:37:58.086 --> 00:37:59.087
wanted to make sure that I
00:37:59.147 --> 00:38:00.508
protected my boss from
00:38:00.628 --> 00:38:02.610
sending out money where he
00:38:02.630 --> 00:38:03.691
had gotten scammed many
00:38:03.751 --> 00:38:04.952
times before I had even
00:38:05.252 --> 00:38:07.514
come on board and I wanted
00:38:07.534 --> 00:38:08.875
to make sure he didn't get scammed again.
00:38:10.125 --> 00:38:11.769
So by this time,
00:38:11.970 --> 00:38:13.634
I should mention Samuel had
00:38:13.694 --> 00:38:15.799
also quit teaching and had
00:38:15.879 --> 00:38:17.664
also come to work at the same company.
00:38:18.479 --> 00:38:20.080
And had also gotten divorced.
00:38:21.381 --> 00:38:22.802
And so that's when he and I
00:38:22.922 --> 00:38:25.483
started dating is after all
00:38:25.503 --> 00:38:26.084
of that happened.
00:38:26.264 --> 00:38:27.204
That's kind of an aside,
00:38:27.544 --> 00:38:29.406
just a little secret tea for everybody.
00:38:30.146 --> 00:38:31.207
But so Samuel and I were
00:38:31.247 --> 00:38:32.627
working together with our
00:38:32.668 --> 00:38:35.009
friend who was our boss and
00:38:35.169 --> 00:38:36.230
trying to protect him from
00:38:36.270 --> 00:38:37.570
all this fraud in the industry.
00:38:37.690 --> 00:38:38.411
And we had this one
00:38:38.451 --> 00:38:39.692
particular deal come across
00:38:39.732 --> 00:38:42.794
our desk that was purported to be very,
00:38:42.854 --> 00:38:43.514
very lucrative.
00:38:44.209 --> 00:38:46.111
And it involved some fuel
00:38:46.251 --> 00:38:47.632
from an African country
00:38:47.672 --> 00:38:48.833
whose name I won't name
00:38:48.893 --> 00:38:49.673
just because I don't want
00:38:49.694 --> 00:38:51.475
to get into too many specifics,
00:38:51.595 --> 00:38:52.256
if you know what I mean.
00:38:54.077 --> 00:38:55.798
And Samuel and I did our very,
00:38:55.878 --> 00:38:57.560
very best to vet this deal
00:38:58.260 --> 00:39:00.422
and to call all the phone
00:39:00.442 --> 00:39:01.783
numbers and talk to all the
00:39:01.823 --> 00:39:03.184
people and Google all the
00:39:03.284 --> 00:39:05.206
addresses and make a
00:39:05.366 --> 00:39:07.668
comprehensive report about
00:39:07.828 --> 00:39:08.989
whether or not we felt like
00:39:09.009 --> 00:39:10.390
this was a good investment to make.
00:39:11.051 --> 00:39:12.252
And it turned out that we
00:39:12.292 --> 00:39:13.713
believed that it was fraudulent.
00:39:14.488 --> 00:39:15.789
And I wrote up an entire
00:39:15.829 --> 00:39:17.169
report about why it was
00:39:17.209 --> 00:39:18.450
fraudulent and all of the
00:39:18.490 --> 00:39:20.211
different investigations that I had done.
00:39:20.991 --> 00:39:22.432
And I presented this report
00:39:22.492 --> 00:39:23.692
to my boss and to the
00:39:23.732 --> 00:39:24.973
people who had brought him
00:39:24.993 --> 00:39:26.073
the deal in the first place.
00:39:27.054 --> 00:39:28.034
And the people who brought
00:39:28.074 --> 00:39:29.975
him the deal were furious
00:39:30.335 --> 00:39:32.536
because of course they wanted his money.
00:39:34.437 --> 00:39:37.098
And unfortunately my boss
00:39:37.918 --> 00:39:39.519
had stars in his eyes and
00:39:39.599 --> 00:39:40.860
he really wanted to believe
00:39:40.880 --> 00:39:41.600
that this was real.
00:39:42.099 --> 00:39:43.160
And he really wanted to
00:39:43.200 --> 00:39:44.701
believe that this was a real deal.
00:39:45.141 --> 00:39:46.122
And so he completely
00:39:46.182 --> 00:39:47.883
discounted the report that I made.
00:39:48.944 --> 00:39:51.246
And I believe it was a
00:39:51.286 --> 00:39:52.267
Friday afternoon when I
00:39:52.307 --> 00:39:53.708
submitted that report and
00:39:53.908 --> 00:39:55.149
Samuel and I left and went
00:39:55.269 --> 00:39:55.950
our separate ways.
00:39:56.550 --> 00:39:58.071
And when we came back on Monday morning,
00:39:58.231 --> 00:39:59.112
we found out that what had
00:39:59.172 --> 00:40:00.973
happened is that my boss
00:40:02.375 --> 00:40:04.536
had instructed the CFO to
00:40:04.596 --> 00:40:05.377
send the money for the
00:40:05.417 --> 00:40:06.858
investment and told him
00:40:06.938 --> 00:40:08.940
specifically not to tell
00:40:09.000 --> 00:40:10.641
Samuel and I that he had done it.
00:40:11.541 --> 00:40:13.662
And that was the beginning of the end.
00:40:13.682 --> 00:40:18.223
I'm just going to pause for
00:40:18.263 --> 00:40:20.324
a moment to remember that time.
00:40:21.405 --> 00:40:23.425
Because I thought that I was
00:40:23.465 --> 00:40:25.606
contributing something valuable.
00:40:26.026 --> 00:40:27.167
I thought that I was doing
00:40:27.247 --> 00:40:28.087
something meaningful.
00:40:28.627 --> 00:40:29.488
And in that moment,
00:40:29.788 --> 00:40:32.008
I realized that it didn't
00:40:32.028 --> 00:40:33.209
matter what I did or said,
00:40:33.629 --> 00:40:34.789
that my boss was going to
00:40:34.809 --> 00:40:36.250
do whatever he wanted anyway.
00:40:38.194 --> 00:40:39.715
And so I sort of reevaluated
00:40:40.375 --> 00:40:41.816
and I started thinking about,
00:40:42.156 --> 00:40:44.277
is this a good place for me to be?
00:40:45.097 --> 00:40:49.399
Now this is all post healing, post EMDR.
00:40:51.360 --> 00:40:52.861
I had the full ability to
00:40:52.921 --> 00:40:54.622
see his behavior for what it was.
00:40:55.662 --> 00:40:56.683
And I looked at it and
00:40:56.783 --> 00:40:59.764
realized how toxic it was.
00:41:01.625 --> 00:41:05.067
And I decided to stay anyway.
00:41:06.348 --> 00:41:07.709
And I did that because I was
00:41:07.789 --> 00:41:09.550
earning a decent salary and
00:41:09.590 --> 00:41:11.951
I also had a lot of time,
00:41:12.011 --> 00:41:13.092
freedom and flexibility.
00:41:14.533 --> 00:41:16.334
And I was able to write my
00:41:16.374 --> 00:41:18.255
book and get it published
00:41:18.675 --> 00:41:20.776
and start my podcast and do
00:41:20.796 --> 00:41:21.797
a lot of things while I was
00:41:21.837 --> 00:41:22.617
working there that I would
00:41:22.637 --> 00:41:23.698
have been able to do if I
00:41:23.758 --> 00:41:25.259
had been working a traditional job.
00:41:26.019 --> 00:41:28.020
And so I was really grateful
00:41:28.180 --> 00:41:29.901
to my boss for the gift of time,
00:41:30.181 --> 00:41:32.763
because that made me
00:41:35.603 --> 00:41:37.064
It made me free to do some
00:41:37.104 --> 00:41:37.944
things that I was
00:41:38.024 --> 00:41:39.224
passionate about that I
00:41:39.284 --> 00:41:40.085
never would have been able
00:41:40.165 --> 00:41:41.325
to do otherwise.
00:41:41.965 --> 00:41:43.426
That gift of time freedom
00:41:43.466 --> 00:41:45.067
made me see the world in a different way.
00:41:45.707 --> 00:41:48.648
And it made me sort of take
00:41:48.688 --> 00:41:50.028
a step back from the rat
00:41:50.088 --> 00:41:51.709
race of going to work nine
00:41:51.729 --> 00:41:52.870
to five and feeling
00:41:53.290 --> 00:41:54.470
stressed about scheduling
00:41:54.510 --> 00:41:56.711
doctor's appointments for kids and
00:41:57.505 --> 00:41:58.546
feeling stressed about
00:41:58.586 --> 00:41:59.687
having to spend a day home
00:41:59.727 --> 00:42:00.487
with a sick kid.
00:42:00.567 --> 00:42:01.047
And you know what?
00:42:01.127 --> 00:42:02.468
If it turned into two or three days,
00:42:02.528 --> 00:42:03.449
it was not a big deal.
00:42:03.989 --> 00:42:05.230
And that was the first time
00:42:05.250 --> 00:42:07.252
that I had a release from
00:42:07.312 --> 00:42:09.313
that pressure of feeling
00:42:09.373 --> 00:42:10.694
like I had to be so
00:42:10.774 --> 00:42:12.435
committed to my job that I
00:42:12.495 --> 00:42:14.096
had to sacrifice my family
00:42:14.216 --> 00:42:15.457
and my interests and all of
00:42:15.497 --> 00:42:16.178
my other things.
00:42:16.678 --> 00:42:18.800
So I'm really grateful for
00:42:18.820 --> 00:42:20.522
the freedom of time that I
00:42:20.582 --> 00:42:22.904
had to do a lot of things
00:42:22.964 --> 00:42:23.965
for my kids that I wouldn't
00:42:23.985 --> 00:42:25.467
have been able to do otherwise.
00:42:25.487 --> 00:42:28.169
I was able to help my daughter move twice.
00:42:28.329 --> 00:42:30.211
I was able to go up randomly
00:42:30.231 --> 00:42:32.073
to visit my grandson when he was born.
00:42:32.093 --> 00:42:32.914
I was able to
00:42:33.689 --> 00:42:35.490
just take time off when I needed it.
00:42:35.570 --> 00:42:37.011
I was able to be with my dad
00:42:37.071 --> 00:42:38.551
when he had his heart surgery.
00:42:39.112 --> 00:42:40.272
There were so many things I
00:42:40.312 --> 00:42:42.253
was able to do with that
00:42:42.333 --> 00:42:43.934
time that I couldn't have done before.
00:42:44.054 --> 00:42:45.635
So I was really grateful for
00:42:45.675 --> 00:42:47.756
that freedom of time and
00:42:47.816 --> 00:42:48.896
for a little bit of extra
00:42:48.936 --> 00:42:49.877
money that allowed me to
00:42:50.017 --> 00:42:51.338
finally have some margin in
00:42:51.398 --> 00:42:52.318
my life where I wasn't
00:42:52.358 --> 00:42:53.599
living paycheck to paycheck
00:42:53.639 --> 00:42:55.620
for the very first time in my life.
00:42:56.576 --> 00:42:58.217
And so I made the decision to stay,
00:42:58.737 --> 00:43:00.918
knowing that probably my
00:43:00.998 --> 00:43:03.139
ideas and my opinions and
00:43:03.179 --> 00:43:05.000
my research were not going to be valuable,
00:43:05.600 --> 00:43:07.761
but also knowing that I was
00:43:07.781 --> 00:43:08.562
doing the right thing for
00:43:08.602 --> 00:43:10.143
my family and for my kids at the time.
00:43:11.023 --> 00:43:12.744
So I decided to stay.
00:43:13.004 --> 00:43:14.685
But what ended up happening
00:43:14.985 --> 00:43:17.486
is that after that time,
00:43:18.026 --> 00:43:19.487
when I called out that
00:43:19.567 --> 00:43:21.108
fraudulent experience,
00:43:22.849 --> 00:43:23.989
my boss started sharing
00:43:24.289 --> 00:43:25.750
less and less with me.
00:43:26.470 --> 00:43:28.872
We started talking less and
00:43:28.912 --> 00:43:30.673
less about the things he was working on.
00:43:31.534 --> 00:43:33.836
And Samuel and I started
00:43:33.936 --> 00:43:35.117
moving into this arena
00:43:35.177 --> 00:43:36.498
where we wanted to talk to
00:43:36.518 --> 00:43:37.979
the people who were doing
00:43:38.039 --> 00:43:39.621
real deals and who actually
00:43:39.661 --> 00:43:41.142
did have money and who had
00:43:41.222 --> 00:43:44.324
real fuel and real tanks and real things.
00:43:44.384 --> 00:43:46.586
And the more we went to the side of real,
00:43:47.167 --> 00:43:48.368
the more we separated from
00:43:48.448 --> 00:43:50.549
our boss who was not on the side of real,
00:43:51.130 --> 00:43:51.850
who was still in this
00:43:51.910 --> 00:43:53.812
fantasy land of throwing
00:43:53.852 --> 00:43:55.193
money at a deal and getting
00:43:55.233 --> 00:43:56.134
a huge payout.
00:43:57.460 --> 00:43:58.741
And so the separation became
00:43:58.801 --> 00:44:00.102
more and more and more.
00:44:00.643 --> 00:44:01.884
And we realized that he was
00:44:01.944 --> 00:44:03.806
trusting us less and less and less.
00:44:04.746 --> 00:44:05.927
And we used to sit in his
00:44:05.987 --> 00:44:07.168
office every single day.
00:44:07.188 --> 00:44:08.450
We used to go to lunch with
00:44:08.490 --> 00:44:09.611
him every single day.
00:44:10.131 --> 00:44:12.073
And gradually we were in our
00:44:12.153 --> 00:44:14.175
office more and in his office less.
00:44:15.215 --> 00:44:16.677
And gradually we weren't at
00:44:16.717 --> 00:44:17.637
lunch every single day,
00:44:17.678 --> 00:44:20.220
but every so often when we could.
00:44:21.461 --> 00:44:25.064
And the separation just got more and more.
00:44:26.760 --> 00:44:28.661
And then a couple months ago,
00:44:29.061 --> 00:44:29.841
as many of you know,
00:44:30.241 --> 00:44:31.241
the day before payday,
00:44:31.561 --> 00:44:34.582
I was told that there was
00:44:34.622 --> 00:44:36.323
not enough money to make payroll.
00:44:37.863 --> 00:44:39.064
Now, I knew this.
00:44:39.704 --> 00:44:40.844
I knew this was coming.
00:44:41.324 --> 00:44:42.725
I had seen it months and
00:44:42.745 --> 00:44:44.525
months before because in
00:44:44.545 --> 00:44:45.606
the position that I was in,
00:44:46.066 --> 00:44:47.626
I saw all the money that came in.
00:44:48.407 --> 00:44:49.247
And unfortunately,
00:44:49.487 --> 00:44:51.287
I also saw all the money
00:44:51.327 --> 00:44:54.989
that went out to pay off brokers,
00:44:55.889 --> 00:44:56.469
to pay off
00:44:57.150 --> 00:44:58.670
people who kind of just were
00:44:58.710 --> 00:45:01.911
leeches to send huge sums
00:45:01.971 --> 00:45:03.592
of money to consultants who
00:45:03.632 --> 00:45:04.512
never really produced
00:45:04.592 --> 00:45:07.953
anything and to send tank
00:45:07.993 --> 00:45:10.053
fees to tank farms that didn't exist.
00:45:10.654 --> 00:45:12.434
So I knew how much money was coming in.
00:45:12.554 --> 00:45:13.474
I knew how much money was
00:45:13.514 --> 00:45:15.135
going out and I knew it couldn't last.
00:45:15.815 --> 00:45:17.095
And when I found out that
00:45:17.115 --> 00:45:19.396
they couldn't make payroll, I said, oh,
00:45:20.256 --> 00:45:20.716
it's time.
00:45:20.996 --> 00:45:22.037
It's time to start building
00:45:22.077 --> 00:45:22.817
some safety nets.
00:45:24.075 --> 00:45:25.255
that was about around the
00:45:25.295 --> 00:45:26.776
same time that my podcast
00:45:26.816 --> 00:45:28.236
launched actually had my
00:45:28.276 --> 00:45:29.337
podcast had launched maybe
00:45:29.377 --> 00:45:30.397
just a month before that.
00:45:31.157 --> 00:45:33.198
And it turned out to be kind
00:45:33.238 --> 00:45:34.639
of fortuitous timing that I
00:45:34.719 --> 00:45:37.299
started this phase when
00:45:37.519 --> 00:45:38.720
that other phase was
00:45:38.800 --> 00:45:40.480
starting to turn dark.
00:45:41.761 --> 00:45:41.901
And
00:45:44.422 --> 00:45:45.423
I looked at the handwriting
00:45:45.463 --> 00:45:46.823
on the wall and I said,
00:45:46.863 --> 00:45:48.725
I better make some contingency plans.
00:45:49.285 --> 00:45:50.626
And I started talking to
00:45:50.666 --> 00:45:52.187
some of the contacts that I
00:45:52.227 --> 00:45:53.247
made in the industry
00:45:53.687 --> 00:45:56.309
without revealing anything
00:45:56.409 --> 00:45:57.410
about what was going on
00:45:57.510 --> 00:45:58.410
inside the office.
00:45:58.530 --> 00:45:59.811
I just started telling people,
00:45:59.951 --> 00:46:01.772
I'm feeling like I'm
00:46:01.812 --> 00:46:02.833
getting to a point where I
00:46:02.893 --> 00:46:03.993
may need to go out on my
00:46:04.113 --> 00:46:04.954
own at some point.
00:46:05.634 --> 00:46:06.795
And the more that I talked
00:46:06.815 --> 00:46:08.536
to the legitimate people in the business,
00:46:08.956 --> 00:46:10.277
the more supportive they were,
00:46:10.817 --> 00:46:11.798
the more they wanted to
00:46:11.838 --> 00:46:13.899
work with me and with Samuel and
00:46:14.545 --> 00:46:16.907
and not with him because
00:46:16.927 --> 00:46:18.428
they recognized what he was
00:46:18.468 --> 00:46:20.409
doing and they recognized
00:46:20.429 --> 00:46:21.830
what we were doing and they
00:46:21.871 --> 00:46:23.512
saw our integrity and they
00:46:23.552 --> 00:46:25.213
saw our diligence and they
00:46:25.253 --> 00:46:26.754
saw our hard work and they
00:46:26.794 --> 00:46:27.695
wanted to work with us.
00:46:28.295 --> 00:46:29.196
And so I said, you know what,
00:46:29.957 --> 00:46:31.358
if something goes south,
00:46:31.978 --> 00:46:32.699
I think I'm going to be
00:46:32.759 --> 00:46:34.000
okay because I felt like I
00:46:34.060 --> 00:46:35.941
had good contacts in the industry.
00:46:36.441 --> 00:46:37.622
And I felt like Samuel and I
00:46:37.822 --> 00:46:39.043
had built a reputation with
00:46:39.063 --> 00:46:40.104
these legitimate people
00:46:40.484 --> 00:46:41.865
that they knew that we were good,
00:46:42.266 --> 00:46:42.946
that we were honest,
00:46:42.986 --> 00:46:43.887
that we had integrity.
00:46:45.634 --> 00:46:50.378
well friday at 3 45 i
00:46:50.418 --> 00:46:52.720
received an email not from
00:46:52.740 --> 00:46:54.161
my boss who used to be my
00:46:54.201 --> 00:46:56.423
friend but from the cfo of
00:46:56.443 --> 00:46:57.964
the company saying that
00:46:57.984 --> 00:46:59.386
they were eliminating my
00:46:59.426 --> 00:47:03.789
position and that my
00:47:03.849 --> 00:47:05.451
monthly draw would end
00:47:05.571 --> 00:47:07.833
effective immediately now
00:47:07.873 --> 00:47:08.854
the interesting thing about
00:47:08.894 --> 00:47:10.215
that is it was never a
00:47:10.275 --> 00:47:11.496
monthly draw it was a
00:47:11.516 --> 00:47:12.877
salary but i think they
00:47:12.917 --> 00:47:13.858
wanted to call it that
00:47:15.000 --> 00:47:17.101
because it gives them a
00:47:17.121 --> 00:47:19.442
little bit of wiggle room legally.
00:47:20.483 --> 00:47:22.644
And I was really
00:47:22.684 --> 00:47:23.604
disappointed that that
00:47:23.704 --> 00:47:26.186
email didn't come from my former friend.
00:47:27.326 --> 00:47:29.627
It came from the CFO who is
00:47:31.788 --> 00:47:34.750
sort of the yes man of my former friend.
00:47:35.970 --> 00:47:38.752
So what I find interesting though,
00:47:39.192 --> 00:47:40.172
and the thing that I'm
00:47:40.252 --> 00:47:41.173
celebrating tonight
00:47:42.420 --> 00:47:43.561
doesn't have anything to do
00:47:43.841 --> 00:47:45.282
with my boss or the company
00:47:45.342 --> 00:47:47.383
or my experience or anything like that.
00:47:48.244 --> 00:47:49.705
It has to do with the fact
00:47:50.926 --> 00:47:52.707
that when I got that email,
00:47:53.127 --> 00:47:54.468
I hadn't even checked my email.
00:47:54.488 --> 00:47:55.229
It was Friday night.
00:47:55.289 --> 00:47:56.309
I was getting ready to have
00:47:56.349 --> 00:47:57.530
a good time with my kiddos.
00:47:58.171 --> 00:48:00.452
My daughter had her bestie over here.
00:48:00.472 --> 00:48:01.933
We were getting ready to make dinner.
00:48:02.373 --> 00:48:03.915
We were making some tikka masala,
00:48:03.955 --> 00:48:04.975
which is one of my favorite
00:48:04.995 --> 00:48:05.576
things to make.
00:48:05.616 --> 00:48:07.037
We were just enjoying our evening.
00:48:07.777 --> 00:48:08.678
And Samuel came by.
00:48:10.205 --> 00:48:11.886
And he showed me the email
00:48:11.946 --> 00:48:13.826
on his phone and I
00:48:13.886 --> 00:48:14.787
immediately went to my
00:48:14.827 --> 00:48:16.527
phone to see if I got the
00:48:16.547 --> 00:48:18.348
same email and it was identical.
00:48:20.269 --> 00:48:21.869
And the thing that I love
00:48:22.870 --> 00:48:23.610
and the thing that I'm
00:48:23.730 --> 00:48:26.891
celebrating is that it
00:48:26.951 --> 00:48:28.492
wasn't even a blip on my radar.
00:48:30.012 --> 00:48:31.133
My blood pressure didn't go
00:48:31.253 --> 00:48:33.213
up a single point.
00:48:35.154 --> 00:48:37.735
I just nodded my head and I said,
00:48:39.587 --> 00:48:40.988
This is what I expected.
00:48:41.008 --> 00:48:44.191
I'm disappointed, but I'm not surprised.
00:48:46.112 --> 00:48:47.594
And I was able to go on and
00:48:47.654 --> 00:48:50.156
enjoy a lovely evening with
00:48:50.416 --> 00:48:51.817
my daughter and her friends.
00:48:52.157 --> 00:48:53.438
We made our tikka masala,
00:48:53.638 --> 00:48:54.739
we watched Gilmore Girls,
00:48:55.360 --> 00:48:56.281
and we had a great night.
00:48:57.201 --> 00:48:58.442
And the next morning I woke
00:48:58.522 --> 00:49:01.185
up and I mowed my lawn.
00:49:02.706 --> 00:49:04.868
And then I pulled a stump
00:49:05.088 --> 00:49:06.449
out of the ground that had
00:49:06.489 --> 00:49:07.129
been bothering me.
00:49:09.081 --> 00:49:10.181
And I made a few phone calls
00:49:10.221 --> 00:49:11.142
and I connected with my
00:49:11.182 --> 00:49:12.282
friends and my support
00:49:12.322 --> 00:49:13.223
network and I told them
00:49:13.243 --> 00:49:14.023
what was going on.
00:49:14.883 --> 00:49:17.184
And the thing that amazed me
00:49:17.364 --> 00:49:18.965
is that there was zero anxiety,
00:49:19.685 --> 00:49:21.366
where before I had had
00:49:21.546 --> 00:49:23.607
extreme anxiety about money
00:49:23.627 --> 00:49:24.627
and employment.
00:49:25.108 --> 00:49:26.368
I had so much worry and
00:49:26.408 --> 00:49:28.189
stress about whether or not
00:49:28.209 --> 00:49:28.929
I was going to be able to
00:49:28.969 --> 00:49:29.950
provide for my kids.
00:49:30.050 --> 00:49:30.370
In fact,
00:49:30.490 --> 00:49:31.810
it was the main reason that I
00:49:31.850 --> 00:49:33.071
didn't get divorced sooner
00:49:33.091 --> 00:49:34.271
is because I was afraid
00:49:34.291 --> 00:49:36.092
that I didn't have the
00:49:36.152 --> 00:49:38.013
skills and I didn't have the
00:49:40.074 --> 00:49:42.436
fortitude to take care of my
00:49:42.496 --> 00:49:43.417
family financially,
00:49:43.757 --> 00:49:45.599
to take care of my kids financially.
00:49:46.760 --> 00:49:48.041
And what I loved is that
00:49:48.061 --> 00:49:50.382
there was not a single bit of anxiety.
00:49:50.403 --> 00:49:53.985
And the phone calls that I made,
00:49:54.005 --> 00:49:55.827
the people that I talked to
00:49:55.867 --> 00:49:57.108
were angrier than I was,
00:49:57.989 --> 00:49:59.410
and they were more upset than I was.
00:49:59.650 --> 00:50:00.191
And for me,
00:50:02.152 --> 00:50:07.857
I look back and I think I saw it coming.
00:50:08.706 --> 00:50:10.587
Because now I'm at a point
00:50:10.607 --> 00:50:11.688
in my life where I have the
00:50:11.748 --> 00:50:13.109
skills and the tools to
00:50:13.249 --> 00:50:14.790
recognize toxic behavior
00:50:14.810 --> 00:50:17.231
when I see it and to not be
00:50:17.291 --> 00:50:19.272
surprised when toxic people
00:50:19.553 --> 00:50:21.654
act in toxic ways.
00:50:24.496 --> 00:50:24.856
I'm just...
00:50:26.274 --> 00:50:28.016
sort of enjoying that for a moment,
00:50:28.497 --> 00:50:29.658
that I'm at that place
00:50:29.778 --> 00:50:32.041
because it took me so long to get here.
00:50:32.061 --> 00:50:35.004
It took so much work to get
00:50:35.044 --> 00:50:36.606
to the point where this was
00:50:36.666 --> 00:50:37.728
not a blip on my radar.
00:50:37.788 --> 00:50:38.188
In fact,
00:50:38.769 --> 00:50:39.990
these tears that are coming up
00:50:40.030 --> 00:50:41.212
right now are the first
00:50:41.272 --> 00:50:42.814
tears that I have shed at
00:50:43.014 --> 00:50:45.997
all over this situation because
00:50:47.375 --> 00:50:47.695
I just,
00:50:47.775 --> 00:50:49.576
I called my support network and my
00:50:49.636 --> 00:50:50.556
friends were there for me
00:50:50.716 --> 00:50:51.497
and they're supportive.
00:50:51.757 --> 00:50:53.758
And I called a few of my
00:50:53.818 --> 00:50:55.158
contacts in the industry
00:50:55.839 --> 00:50:57.459
and they were outraged and said,
00:50:57.519 --> 00:50:58.600
what can we do to help you?
00:50:59.480 --> 00:51:01.421
And I had people excited to
00:51:01.941 --> 00:51:04.802
help Samuel and I to do
00:51:04.822 --> 00:51:06.623
what we need to do to earn an income.
00:51:06.943 --> 00:51:08.824
And the other thing is that
00:51:08.884 --> 00:51:11.265
I have you beautiful humans here with me,
00:51:12.826 --> 00:51:13.926
and I'm so grateful for you.
00:51:16.127 --> 00:51:16.247
So,
00:51:16.764 --> 00:51:18.845
the big announcement that I have is
00:51:18.885 --> 00:51:20.065
that I am now officially a
00:51:20.185 --> 00:51:23.726
full-time podcaster and
00:51:23.906 --> 00:51:24.666
this is what I'm going to
00:51:24.706 --> 00:51:27.126
be doing going forward over
00:51:27.146 --> 00:51:28.107
the last couple of months.
00:51:28.704 --> 00:51:30.746
I have acquired several new
00:51:31.386 --> 00:51:32.682
coaching clients and I have
00:51:32.782 --> 00:51:34.123
really enjoyed the time
00:51:35.324 --> 00:51:36.802
connecting with you guys as
00:51:36.902 --> 00:51:37.723
individual people.
00:51:38.623 --> 00:51:40.104
It brings me so much joy to
00:51:41.105 --> 00:51:42.486
hear about your struggles
00:51:42.686 --> 00:51:43.747
and to be able to help give
00:51:43.767 --> 00:51:45.268
you a plan and a path forward.
00:51:45.969 --> 00:51:48.891
So coaching is what I'm
00:51:48.991 --> 00:51:50.832
super passionate about and
00:51:50.912 --> 00:51:51.633
coming on here and
00:51:51.673 --> 00:51:52.454
connecting with you
00:51:52.474 --> 00:51:53.474
beautiful humans is what
00:51:53.494 --> 00:51:54.295
I'm passionate about.
00:51:54.935 --> 00:51:55.756
So this is what I'm going to
00:51:55.796 --> 00:51:56.997
be doing going forward.
00:51:58.321 --> 00:52:00.222
so in case you want to know
00:52:00.982 --> 00:52:02.122
the best way to support the
00:52:02.142 --> 00:52:05.423
channel is to subscribe did
00:52:05.463 --> 00:52:05.823
you know i
00:52:05.974 --> 00:52:07.254
over half of the people who
00:52:07.294 --> 00:52:08.635
watch these videos are not
00:52:08.675 --> 00:52:11.575
subscribers so if even just
00:52:11.615 --> 00:52:12.656
a few of you who are not
00:52:12.696 --> 00:52:13.616
subscribers would go
00:52:13.656 --> 00:52:15.436
subscribe that would really
00:52:15.477 --> 00:52:17.297
really help the channel and
00:52:17.657 --> 00:52:19.057
for some reason and i
00:52:19.398 --> 00:52:20.718
haven't figured out exactly why
00:52:22.529 --> 00:52:24.169
YouTube really loves my videos.
00:52:25.690 --> 00:52:26.450
For some reason,
00:52:26.470 --> 00:52:27.750
the more that you guys
00:52:27.830 --> 00:52:28.910
interact with my videos,
00:52:28.950 --> 00:52:30.210
the more that they push my
00:52:30.230 --> 00:52:31.331
videos out into the
00:52:31.451 --> 00:52:33.491
algorithm and the more they get seen.
00:52:34.171 --> 00:52:35.471
I was absolutely stunned
00:52:35.551 --> 00:52:37.332
that after just one month
00:52:37.812 --> 00:52:39.632
after launching my podcast,
00:52:40.252 --> 00:52:42.252
that I had over 7,000 subscribers.
00:52:42.452 --> 00:52:43.673
I was absolutely stunned
00:52:43.713 --> 00:52:44.693
that some of my most
00:52:44.773 --> 00:52:47.133
watched videos had over 20,000 views.
00:52:47.673 --> 00:52:48.594
And that's because of you
00:52:48.614 --> 00:52:50.334
guys interacting with my videos.
00:52:50.934 --> 00:52:51.074
So,
00:52:52.597 --> 00:52:53.958
If you subscribe to the channel,
00:52:54.558 --> 00:52:55.799
if you like the video,
00:52:56.139 --> 00:52:57.479
if you share the video with
00:52:57.519 --> 00:52:59.220
someone you think will find it helpful,
00:52:59.801 --> 00:53:01.021
YouTube will send it out
00:53:01.141 --> 00:53:02.222
into the algorithm and
00:53:02.242 --> 00:53:03.382
it'll get seen by lots and
00:53:03.402 --> 00:53:04.183
lots more people.
00:53:05.023 --> 00:53:06.624
And reaching more people
00:53:06.864 --> 00:53:08.285
with my message is what I'm
00:53:08.345 --> 00:53:09.085
passionate about.
00:53:09.705 --> 00:53:11.806
What I love is being able to
00:53:11.886 --> 00:53:13.547
help people find the ways
00:53:13.627 --> 00:53:14.908
that is important to them
00:53:15.528 --> 00:53:17.229
to heal and to move forward
00:53:17.349 --> 00:53:18.269
and to become the best
00:53:18.330 --> 00:53:19.870
versions of the beautiful
00:53:19.910 --> 00:53:21.291
human beings that they are.
00:53:22.153 --> 00:53:26.615
that you are so the best way
00:53:26.655 --> 00:53:27.736
to support the channel is
00:53:27.776 --> 00:53:28.856
to subscribe i'll say that
00:53:28.957 --> 00:53:30.597
over and over interacting
00:53:30.637 --> 00:53:32.058
with the videos is even
00:53:32.098 --> 00:53:33.099
better if you like the
00:53:33.139 --> 00:53:34.039
video if you share the
00:53:34.079 --> 00:53:35.160
video or if you leave
00:53:35.200 --> 00:53:36.180
comments on the video
00:53:36.220 --> 00:53:37.061
that's going to help send
00:53:37.101 --> 00:53:38.221
it out into the algorithm
00:53:38.361 --> 00:53:39.882
those are all completely
00:53:39.982 --> 00:53:41.123
free ways that you can
00:53:41.183 --> 00:53:42.584
interact with the channel
00:53:42.644 --> 00:53:43.444
and support the channel
00:53:44.403 --> 00:53:47.286
If you become a member, of course,
00:53:47.366 --> 00:53:48.847
that directly financially
00:53:48.907 --> 00:53:49.681
supports the channel.
00:53:49.700 --> 00:53:51.701
So thank you guys so much
00:53:52.322 --> 00:53:54.103
for all of your support and
00:53:54.223 --> 00:53:56.044
all of your interaction with the channel.
00:53:56.146 --> 00:53:56.596
you
00:53:56.936 --> 00:53:58.617
make the channel what it is
00:53:59.217 --> 00:54:00.398
by your interaction here
00:54:00.518 --> 00:54:01.379
and your support here.
00:54:01.948 --> 00:54:04.028
And I just really 100% just
00:54:04.108 --> 00:54:05.989
appreciate everything that you guys do.
00:54:06.108 --> 00:54:06.588
For me,
00:54:06.768 --> 00:54:08.209
my intention for this coming week
00:54:08.969 --> 00:54:10.429
is to take things as they
00:54:10.469 --> 00:54:13.590
come and to savor every
00:54:13.630 --> 00:54:14.470
moment that I have.
00:54:15.436 --> 00:54:16.977
and to just keep connecting
00:54:17.017 --> 00:54:18.258
with you beautiful human beings,
00:54:18.358 --> 00:54:21.240
because I just love hearing your stories.
00:54:21.480 --> 00:54:22.641
I love hearing the places
00:54:22.721 --> 00:54:23.521
where you're stuck and
00:54:23.561 --> 00:54:25.242
struggling and giving you
00:54:25.282 --> 00:54:27.664
suggestions of where you can get better.
00:54:28.304 --> 00:54:29.645
And for those of you who don't know,
00:54:29.665 --> 00:54:32.167
if you're thinking about coaching,
00:54:32.827 --> 00:54:35.088
you can sign up for a 100%
00:54:35.088 --> 00:54:36.709
free live video chat with
00:54:36.769 --> 00:54:39.591
me on my website at third-verse.com.
00:54:40.116 --> 00:54:41.176
I just love having those
00:54:41.236 --> 00:54:42.056
quick 15 minute
00:54:42.096 --> 00:54:43.236
conversations with you guys
00:54:43.297 --> 00:54:45.917
because connecting with real people,
00:54:46.397 --> 00:54:49.298
my mantra for the rest of my life is OQP,
00:54:49.598 --> 00:54:50.898
only quality people.
00:54:51.118 --> 00:54:52.418
I do not want to spend any
00:54:52.458 --> 00:54:53.718
more time with people who
00:54:53.758 --> 00:54:55.899
are not on their road to
00:54:55.959 --> 00:54:57.039
healing and being the best
00:54:57.099 --> 00:54:57.999
version of themselves.
00:54:58.164 --> 00:54:59.689
I'm so grateful for you guys.
00:54:59.729 --> 00:55:01.189
Thank you for everything.
00:55:01.260 --> 00:55:04.341
you have made this very scary
00:55:05.241 --> 00:55:06.766
transition in my life,
00:55:06.808 --> 00:55:07.868
really peaceful.
00:55:08.481 --> 00:55:09.362
And something that I'm
00:55:09.402 --> 00:55:11.003
excited about and looking forward to.
00:55:11.123 --> 00:55:13.305
So thank you again for being here.
00:55:13.425 --> 00:55:14.106
Thank you for being
00:55:14.126 --> 00:55:15.167
beautiful human beings.
00:55:15.868 --> 00:55:16.968
Please be good to each other.
00:55:17.009 --> 00:55:20.191
But most of all, what am I going to say?
00:55:20.612 --> 00:55:21.292
Be good to yourself.
00:55:22.033 --> 00:55:22.713
Be kind to yourself.
00:55:22.854 --> 00:55:23.374
You deserve it.
00:55:23.654 --> 00:55:24.095
You're worthy.
00:55:25.055 --> 00:55:25.436
Love you guys.