The Thing With Grief Is….

Ian Hawkins 0:02

Are you ready, ready to release internal pain to find confidence, clarity and direction for your future, to live a life of meaning, fulfillment and contribution to trust your intuition again, but something's been holding you back, you've come to the right place. Welcome. I'm a Ian Hawkins, the host and founder of The Grief Code podcast. Together, let's heal your unresolved or unknown grief by unlocking your grief code. As you tune into each episode, you will receive insight into your own grief, how to eliminate it, and what to do next. Before we start by one request, if any new insights or awareness land with you during this episode, please send me an email at info at the end Hawkins coaching.com. And let me know what you found. I know the power of this word, I love to hear the impact these conversations have. Okay, let's get into it.

The thing with grief is you get so much support in those early days after you've experienced loss, and then everyone goes on with the rest of their life. And you're left wondering, what do I do now. And that's that's when it gets really difficult. Because suddenly all of those people that were there, for you may have moved on. But you haven't, and you're stuck in whatever it is, that's playing out for you in a loop, the thought processes, the wandering of what if and all that other range of emotions like guilt and anger and the usual range of grieving symptoms. Now this next stage, can last for a short time, then it can also drift on for years. And it's because of all the unresolved and unknown stuff that comes to the surface. All of those areas that further amplify that feeling of insecurity and inadequacy that show up in different areas. And, and amplifies that struggle to back yourself at times. It amplifies those times we don't feel strong. We don't feel powerful. We don't feel like you're the protect a provider. All of the things that you desire to be. And this next step takes courage, courage to stand up and say, Well, I want things to be different. And I'm ready to change. And actually to take the action to change. And you have to be ready. And sometimes you also need to have a brutally honest conversation with yourself. And ask yourself, What are you avoiding? Why are you telling yourself you're not ready? What are you hanging on to that's actually not helping you anymore? That is keeping you stuck.

And then, when you're at that point, is seeking out support. Because ultimately, that's where you're going to find the greatest forward progress. There's lots of things you can do yourself. But when you're stuck, and you're in those sorts of spaces, the easiest way to move forward is with support and having someone there to validate you to know that you're taking the right steps. So I'm sure you can all think of times where you're heading forward into a direction and you're not even sure if you're heading in the right direction. You're not even sure if you're doing the right thing. And that can be just as scary as being stuck. Because you think well if I'm putting on all this effort for nothing. So you want to know that you're taking the right steps, right.

The first thing would be to just give yourself space and know that whatever you're experiencing in their spaces is perfectly normal. It's perfectly okay. It's also having that honest conversation with yourself and then taking that action. Finding the support that you need reaching out for help. Having an honest conversation with someone in your family and saying look, I'm not doing well with this and be open to hearing answers because one of the hardest things is when particularly reach out to people close to us is actually responding to the guidance, some stubbornness that we get when we're told things by people close to us. It's either a pattern from quite a young age we don't like being told to do or admitting that maybe someone close to us knows better than us about ourselves. I can tell you, that was one of the best steps I took to ask my older brother about the struggles that I was having at the time, way back in 2011. And then he sent me an email that changed my entire life.

So you've got the steps. When you're ready, take the action, because you will not regret it.

I hope you enjoyed this episode of The Grief Code podcast. Thank you so much for listening. Please share it with a friend or family member that you know would benefit from hearing it too. If you are truly ready to heal your unresolved or unknown grief, let's chat. Email me at info at Ian Hawkins coaching.com You can also stay connected with me by joining the Grief Code community at Ian Hawkins coaching.com forward slash The Grief Code and remember, so that I can help even more people to heal. Please subscribe and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform