Other People's Judgement Stunted My Growth

Ian Hawkins 0:02

Are you ready, ready to release internal pain to find confidence, clarity and direction for your future, to live a life of meaning, fulfillment and contribution to trust your intuition again, but something's been holding you back, you've come to the right place. Welcome. I'm a Ian Hawkins, the host and founder of The Grief Code podcast. Together, let's heal your unresolved or unknown grief by unlocking your grief code. As you tune into each episode, you will receive insight into your own grief, how to eliminate it, and what to do next. Before we start by one request, if any new insights or awareness land with you during this episode, please send me an email at info at the and Hawkins coaching.com. And let me know what you found. I know the power of this work, I love to hear the impact these conversations have. Okay, let's get into it.

On your growth journey, do you allow yourself to get deterred by other people's opinions? Last week, I had this memory of two particular books that I was reading and someone who was visiting my house two separate people on two separate occasions saw the book and dismissed it and ridiculed it and, and my judgment about it. And it really impacted me. And I bought into that to other people's judgment. Now maybe they're right, maybe this is nonsense, and I went away from what was working. And so true, when you look at your growth journey, how often you can be deterred by that. Now, both those books had so many benefits. But neither of them I finished one of them, I still have the other one, I had to return to the person who wanted it. Now the first one, it was at a point where I was hungry for change. And this book showed up. But there was a real setback to my growth to my, my recovery from from all the different loss that I've been through from my unresolved emotional grief, because I allowed myself to be influenced in a negative way by someone else's opinion by somebody else's judgment. who hadn't got the results that I wanted, who hadn't done the things that I wanted to do. There were there was someone there were appear and similar in many ways, and I let that dissuade me, took me off path for too long. And the second book was was a book that I was reading that was next level of growth. And again, it was someone that whose whose judgment advice i i often sought and respected. But in this particular area, they weren't getting the results that I really wanted to get, which was at a whole other level. And you know, I allowed their comments. They're dismissing of something that I was reading, to influence me. And I'll remind you, what I remind my clients all the time is that you got to find what works for you. Even like how many times you've been recommended a book, or this is the best and you read it, you're not so good. So I'll recommend things. Absolutely. I also know that, like it's got to be right for you. And that's where you just need to trust and have faith that the right thing will find you at the right time. But still show discernment on what is right and what is not right for you. You still get to choose. So if there's something that you're tempted by or curious about, or your work, but you're worried about judgment for other or you've got judgment for other people, and I've asked why would you do that? Why do you need to do that? That's them, that's them fearful of you going and doing something that maybe they're not that I had the courage to go and do.

So will you allow yourself to be at the mercy of other people's fear and insecurities and then playing safe? Or will you go after what it is you want? Will you continue to, to try to find ways to, to heal, to release to get better to grow, to find more direction, to connect deeper within to connect to that purpose, really be the person that you know you can be and you get to choose and also know how important is to hang around with other people who are lifting you up and actually encouraging you to explore these different spaces. It's one of the biggest learnings and you may have heard it before. Just be careful who you associate with because you're 10 into be influenced. So, for me, I'm always seeking more positive and more influential people who are going to have a positive impact, people are going to help me release more of the needs releasing to help me and teach me what can benefit me moving forward. New ways to improve on it sometimes means people will come and go from your life. But you become a role model for the important people in your world, and those that are meant to, or have the courage to come on that journey. And they'll get so much from watching. And you've been the role model of what's possible. Again, choice is always yours. And if you're at that point where you know there's something you need to take on, take the time now just to get some clarity around. What's the best that could happen? Write that down. What's the worst that could happen? Write that down. weigh up the pros and cons. Why are people with you? What are the consequences? What are the repercussions? Everything is has a risk, everything. But you can experience what short was Jim Rohn said the two panes, you can experience the pain, of growth of expanding of, of change, positive change, where you can experience the pain and regret of not just giving it a crack, not of having a go at something new and seeing where it will take you pen to paper, and they'd be decisive make a decision. Indecision is going to have a far more negative impact on your life than the actual decision. Because whatever decision you make, you'll still learn where you need to land and see indecision cripples, that might be a good topic for podcast for another day. I'll speak to you soon.

I hope you enjoyed this episode of The Grief Code podcast. Thank you so much for listening. Please share it with a friend or family member that you know would benefit from hearing it too. If you are truly ready to heal your unresolved or unknown grief. Let's chat. Email me at info at Ian Hawkins coaching.com You can also stay connected with the boy joining the Grief Code community at Ian Hawkins coaching.com forward slash The Grief Code and remember, so that I can help even more people to heal. Please subscribe and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform.