Nothing Highlights Your Undesired Behaviours Like Driving

Ian Hawkins 0:02

Are you ready, ready to release internal pain to find confidence, clarity and direction for your future, to live a life of meaning, fulfillment and contribution to trust your intuition again, but something's been holding you back, you've come to the right place. Welcome. I'm a Ian Hawkins, the host and founder of The Grief Code podcast. Together, let's heal your unresolved or unknown grief by unlocking your grief code. As you tune into each episode, you will receive insight into your own grief, how to eliminate it, and what to do next. Before we start by one request, if any new insights or awareness land with you during this episode, please send me an email at info at the Ian Hawkins coaching.com. And let me know what you found. I know the power of this work, I love to hear the impact these conversations have. Okay, let's get into it.

Nothing highlights your own design behaviors like driving. So let me tell you how. Anything from my young fella, my youngest is learning to drive at the moment. So we started a couple of months ago. And his need to be excellent at it was, shall we say quickly meant that there was a certain reluctance and a certain negative negativity that he brought to his own ability in that space, because he's got high expectations about his performance is that where he'd get that from? Probably some bad patterns from his dad, I'd imagine. But it really showed up in that space. And then as I was helping him to see is that he that often shows up in lots of different areas. And that what also shows up is at once he applies himself to something and he he has a crack at it that he's actually becomes competent really quickly. And of course, driving was no different. And then we'll use that example when different things show up since then, around how, yep, similar to driving, you were worried about it because you had these probably unrealistic expectations. But then you got good at it really quickly, because you have that level of application. For me, it used to show up in road rage still does occasionally, when I say rage, not so much rage, but frustration. It will show when I've got a certain level of frustration that people will just do frustrating things in front of me and I'll react. Now really interesting thing went away just recently, first day back at work today. And then usually is the case. I don't know if this is true in other countries. But in Australia, it's often that when the speed limit drops, that the car you're trying to overtake will drop down to like 10 or 20 kilometers an hour lower than the speed limit. And in the moment the overtaking Lane appears or at the moment their speed goes up to a higher level, then suddenly everyone's doing 10 ks over 10 Well, if you're in the US Mark miles per hour over the limit, and you kind of get past them, and it's so frustrating. Or I was pulled out when you're doing a really high speed. And suddenly you have to get on the brakes and, and slow down when you're on a bit of a roll. So that happened on the way we're heading away on our little escape we had over an extended Easter weekend. As it often does, the end of the term, just be weary heading into a break. Now it was one trip where I was really able to switch off better than having a long time. And interestingly on the drive home was nothing presented that that frustrated me not only that, but it was like it was the best run I can remember having on a four hour trip. It was like people just kept getting out of my way. And it was like it's actually a reflection of just how relaxed the horse and how chilled out and that as I've said many times in this podcast is that the external world was projecting back to me mirroring back to me that I was in a pretty good place. I was pretty happy with that. So another thing that I've realized in my own driving is that there was a certain point on a road that I travel quite often that the little automatic was designed to wake you up but vibrates a steering wheel when you've been when your eyes have been fixed on one particular point too long and often away. From the road, and I was finding it was happening in this same spot. And I'm like, I must just drift to the side of the road there, it must happen. But then, when I had the realization was when I was coming back the other direction as as this came into my awareness, right? I'd never really noticed before. But suddenly, I was like, Oh, it was always with the car in the car with someone else. And they pointed it out to me, I suddenly realized that Yeah, I had happens there every time that I'm driving back the other direction. And I realized that where that point was that I was like getting that reminder from my car you're not watching, basically zoning out is that that was at a point on bed, head up to a place where a friend of mine used to live where I'd fallen out of a tree. So there was still something going on from that moment in year seven, when I'd fallen out of a tree and broken my nose. And I was having this like, basically, my brain just kind of tuning out. Bizarre, right. And despite the fact that I've done so much of this sort of stuff, it's still, it's still kind of shocks me and the slap in the face go on, you know, there's still more things to pay attention to. So whether it's that or for you, it might be, we just lose concentration, maybe you're not present with your driving, maybe your mind is elsewhere, and you get distracted. Maybe you're being preoccupied with your phone and getting drawn into doing things you shouldn't while you're driving, texting, whatever else it is. Maybe you're really positive about other drivers on the road. So it's showing you that side of you, maybe you have frustrated reaction as well, maybe some of your reactions a bit more frustrated than they shouldn't be, maybe you actually fire up and really react negatively to other people on the road. Like I said, driver, he's just such a great example of how it can highlight what you've got going on that needs addressing. So this is just an awareness piece today. For the next week, while you're driving, just be aware of your behavior. What happens? What's good, what's not so good? What's somewhere in between, for me is a great place in music. I'm a big fan of music and the car podcasts. Sometimes certain songs will take me back to a road trip from 2030 years ago, or yeah, when I was a kid, all sorts of things. But there's something about driving that just brings out our best and often at worst. See what you see, be aware of what you're aware of and then start unpacking it and having to think about what maybe there is something that needs addressing particularly if it's a frustrated or angry or distracted response that might be bad for your safety and the safety of the other people in your world.

I hope you enjoyed this episode of The Grief Code podcast. Thank you so much for listening. Please share it with a friend or family member that you know would benefit from hearing it too. If you are truly ready to heal your unresolved or unknown grief. Let's chat. Email me at info at Ian Hawkins coaching.com You can also stay connected with me by joining the Grief Code community at Ian Hawkins coaching.com forward slash The Grief Code and remember, so that I can help even more people to heal. Please subscribe and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform