Ep 460 - Is It Really Ok To Not Be Ok?

Ian Hawkins 0:02

Are you ready, ready to release internal pain to find confidence, clarity and direction for your future, to live a life of meaning, fulfillment and contribution to trust your intuition again, but something's been holding you back, you've come to the right place. Welcome. I'm a Ian Hawkins, the host and founder of The Grief Code podcast. Together, let's heal your unresolved or unknown grief by unlocking your grief code. As you tune into each episode, you will receive insight into your own grief, how to eliminate it, and what to do next. Before we start by one request, if any new insights or awareness land with you during this episode, please send me an email at info at the Ian Hawkins coaching.com. And let me know what you found. I know the power of this word, I love to hear the impact these conversations have. Okay, let's get into it. There's a campaign suggesting that to get help, they're working with the theory of or the lion that it's okay to not be okay. And I must admit, I quite liked that originally, because it was like, yeah, it's important for people to realize that, you know, it's it's normal that you're going to have been through some things and there's nothing broken about you. But there is some attention that you may need to pay to yourself. So it's just it's just making it easy for people to not put too much pressure on themselves. I think it was the guests this week Chloe and testing my memory because we actually recorded that interview a few weeks back, but no think it was her who's been through the depths of not being okay, who was saying no, it's not okay. To not be okay. In fact, it's an awful place to be. And we're quite like that, because it's like, yeah, let's not normalize, that don't be okay is any good, we can acknowledge that there are things that go on. And it's okay to have challenges. But but not being okay, we shouldn't tolerate that. As individuals, we shouldn't tolerate it as a community as a society. It's important though, that we have tools and strategies to be able to get ourselves back to the line. I like the theory that we have a default level of everything. And we can oscillate between that level, but generally come back to that default. But we can raise the default level, and we keep raising up our levels of default, then when things go up and down, then we'll come back to that default. So it's imagine it being like a foundation. If your foundations are quite low, and it's brick, but everything above that something a bit weaker, there's a storm, you come back to the foundations where everything gets blown away, the solid part will stay. But if you keep building up the foundations higher and higher and higher, no matter what storm life throws at you, you continue to rise up and up and up. And even when things aren't going so well, when maybe don't feel the best, you still know that it's not okay to feel like this. And I've got strategies to move myself into a more positive place. So to me, the key element to learn through this is no matter what you believe, around that statement of, you know, be okay is not okay, or do you think it's the opposite. It's having strategies to move yourself forward. Because when you've got tools and strategies in place, then you can recognize this is where I'm at. And when I get to this point, here's the step that I take the most before I learned back in corporate, this concept of a well being action plan. And I actually prefer the term health action plan. Because I love that word heal that sits in there amongst the word health. So how do we keep our health at an optimum level? We know the things that keep us at that optimal level. So for me, good sleep, exercise, making sure I switch off and have a rest so much on a work all the time or I'm not trying to be busy all the time to actually get some downtime. They're all things that keep me there meditation, absolutely journaling. Absolutely planning seems basic, but when I got my life planned out for the week ahead, not to the enth degree but with enough detail that I feel satisfied and everyone's level will be different. Then I'm in a good place. But I also know that things are start showing up when I'm starting to dip I'm starting to dip below my line. Things like overwhelm, frustration, weariness, mental fatigue. So I know the steps to get me back, right. Generally, it's more of what I talked about at the top, which is switching off sleep, relaxing, planning all of those things. Then, when you sink further down, because you've haven't followed your plan, and you haven't done the things, you know, we're going to get back. When you get to those real depths, what's the one go to strategy that you know, is going to get back on track. And for me, that's reaching out to someone works every time. There are still times where I am reluctant to do so because I want to try and solve on my own. But ultimately, that's what's going to help me and not necessarily so that person is going to be able to rescue me or solve my problem. But it's a space for me to safely externalize what I've got going on. And more often than not, I'll sort it out. So the heading of this one actually, probably should be your health action plan, and how you create one and actually, if you would love one, then I have a document that I can send to you, to help you get one in place. So at any given time, you've got your structure there, you can if things aren't going so well, you can look at your document, and you can see your own personal details of what gets you back on track quickly. You're one go to strategy. So there are going to be times where things aren't great. But that shouldn't be okay. shouldn't tolerate that. You shouldn't just say well, okay, that's just how it is. Because there's always solutions. There's always ways forward. And generally, you know what that is. Which is why externalizing process is so important. Because you can solve it on your own. There's many times people have come to me and they've said, I've been thinking about this for a long time I'd been reluctant to I kind of felt like I should be able to solve this on my own, I shouldn't need the help. It's like when you look at it another way. And it's just a space for you to provide the help for yourself and you to solve it on your own. Because that's so much more empowering. Anyway. I'll leave that with you to think about. I hope you enjoyed this episode of The Grief Code podcast. Thank you so much for listening. Please share it with a friend or family member that you know would benefit from hearing it too. If you are truly ready to heal your unresolved or unknown grief. Let's chat. Email me at info at Ian Hawkins coaching.com You can also stay connected with me by joining the Grief Code community at Ian Hawkins coaching.com forward slash The Grief Code and remember, so that I can help even more people to heal. Please subscribe and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform