Ep 423 - Self-Regulation Strategies

Ian Hawkins 0:02

Are you ready, ready to release internal pain to find confidence, clarity and direction for your future, to live a life of meaning, fulfillment and contribution to trust your intuition again, but something's been holding you back. You've come to the right place. Welcome. I'm a Ian Hawkins, the host and founder of The Grief Code podcast. Together, let's heal your unresolved or unknown grief by unlocking your grief code. As you tune into each episode, you will receive insight into your own grief, how to eliminate it and what to do next. Before we start by one request. If any new insights or awareness land with you during this episode, please send me an email at info at the Ian Hawkins coaching.com. And let me know what you found. I know the power of this word. I love to hear the impact these conversations have. Okay, let's get into it.

I did a Facebook post last week titles similar to a podcast episode I did last week as well. What if you're cold water immersion, kinesiology, sound healing etc? So add your own healing in inverted commas process? What if they were actually keeping you stuck? Then what? And some great responses and really good conversations around this and one particular person. I'm sure she won't mind me mentioning her name. She's guessed from a recent podcast episode 384, Sharon Tumelo. And she was just asking me to explain more about immersing yourself in learning to self regulate. And was talking about that ability to have those intuitive realizations, those gut feels about different parts of your life, particularly around solving problems from an external perspective. And I was saying on this post, you can actually receive the same guidance to solve your own inner problems. And so Sharon, this podcast is for you. But also, of course, for every other person with a similar question or wondering about that ability, ability to self regulate, now come up with a podcast or something I read the other day, but it could quite be the single greatest skill you can have the ability to self regulate mentally and emotionally. So what am I mean by that? Well, the ability to get yourself out of a negative mind spiral, thought conversation with yourself. The ability to shift to a more positive thought process, to get yourself out of a funk, instantly, to be able to identify that you're in a emotional hole. So might be a depressive state or an anxious state, and be able to run yourself through a self created process to get yourself out the other side. self regulation, so not needing that external boost, but be able to do it yourself. And I did love some of my other clients jumping on and really shining a light on just how huge that had been for their life and how they had been putting dependence on external processes. And early on in the coach and coachee relationship isn't even a word I guess, so Kochi of answering questions, because that's my job, but then also pushing back on certain questions that are certain situations where there was an opportunity for that particular client to address that themselves. To be able to take the time to pause long enough, find stillness long enough to self reflect on what might actually be going on. Instead of running away from that. The most powerful self regulation tool that I know is meditation. And when you get good at it, you can drop into a meditative state in an instant focusing on breath self regulating. So when you have for example, when you have the time to stop and you pause and you close your eyes and you can feel an overriding emotion the ability to allow your body to process that which is unique to each individual. So for me, I close my eyes and feel like a build up of real negative sort of, not depression, but a depressive state of a real sort of deep emotion. My body just is, it's not involuntary, but it kind of is all like screw up my face, like tighten my whole body, until I just feel that particular feeling go. Now, that's not something I knew how to do straightaway, that's something that came from meditating over a lot of time sitting in space and, and allowing my body to do whatever it was doing. So like often, I'm a fidgeter. So I often would in meditation would fidget and early days, like no, no, you got to say still and trying to control the whole environment and make my body stays still. And then learning that you've just got to let your body do whatever it does in meditation. And then just letting it twitch and move and shake, and maybe an urge to tilt my head to one side or, and the more you can allow your body to do that in meditation, the more you will enhance your ability to regulate because your body knows what it wants to do what it knows what it needs to do. In our day to day life, we're too busy. In old thoughts spirals, like 99% of our daily thoughts are same thoughts as the previous day, we're too busy thinking about what needs to be done and what has to be done. And a million other different thoughts that we don't give ourselves that space to actually pause and find stillness. But once we get into meditation on a daily basis, then we allow ourselves that creative space to start coming up with solutions ourselves. You will if you can make that a consistent practice where you find stillness every single day where you find a chance to meditate to sit quietly with your eyes closed, and allow whatever to unfold to unfold, you will find that you'll start having ideas, solutions, concepts come through to you that you wouldn't otherwise have unless you gave yourself that space. So many of the practices of the processes of the tools or the strategies that I now pass on to my clients, I haven't learned from anyone else except from being in that meditative state. I will say this, I have learned different ideas and other different processes from other people. And then I've had that structure that that guidance, if you will, that practice from someone else. And then I've allowed that inner part of me to amend that to something that works better for me. Because really, there are no new ideas out there, right, just a recreation of something that's already been that's already been thought. We see something, we think I'd like to have a different version of that, a different creation of that. And we come up with a different idea. And Meditation allows us to find that faster, more efficiently. And then find better and better solutions, and opportunities to process thinking and emotions. Now without taking you through an experience, which I might actually add for a future episode. Without having found out exactly what you've got going your life, it's harder for me to explain it any more detail on that. I will say that I can highly recommend meditation as a as a tool, as you've heard me say it again and again. And I will be releasing some meditation training in the coming months, which you'll be able to get access to as well. So I hope that helps Sharon, let me know if you have any questions for you and anyone else listening. And as always share the podcast far and wide. If you can subscribe even better, helps me reach more people. If you can leave a review on your favorite platform, that's going to be helpful as well. Now I know most people like it, I do a lot of people's podcasts you flick through the intro and the outro. So you might not have heard me say that for a little while. So please do go on and interact. At that level. Subscribe, leave a review, share with someone else and that's going to help me reach greater numbers. And for those who are already doing that, who already have left to review. I appreciate you so much. And I appreciate all of you that listen. Andthank you.

I hope you enjoyed this episode of The Grief Code podcast. Thank you so much for listening. Please share it with a friend or family member that you know would benefit from hearing it too. If you are truly ready to heal your unresolved or unknown grief. Let's do At email me at info at Ian Hawkins coaching.com You can also stay connected with me by joining the Grief Code community at Ian Hawkins coaching.com forward slash The Grief Code and remember, so that I can help even more people to heal. Please subscribe and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform